I see how my father was many of these different descriptions to each individual child. I suppose this is based on each child’s role.. aka golden, scapegoat,etc.
In the case of the “dead” mother, the father took over. Spoiled the beautiful blond haired daughter, and never stopped picking on the son, 2 years younger. Daughter hides her narcissism well. I was caught unaware.
Nothing to do with the subject of the video, but a while ago I found a help group for daughters survivors of narcissistic abuse. The group's directors banned me after finding out that I repeatedly watched videos from this channel. I can tell she don't have any sense of humor left lol 😂
A ton of "experts" don't like Sam. It's strange because so many greats in the field were not doctors or traditionally trained, but more researchers and explorers of behavior.
@@Ravenafeedsravens she was a victim of narcissists, but seemed very unresolved about it, even though she led a group to help survivors. She certainly hasn't gotten over the trauma.
@@ReemTahir They are book therapists, ones who read and believe they understand, Sam is experienced and has natural insight that they could never have so it reveals their lack of true insight, how limited their experience is.
Dr Vaknin, what might be the effect of such fathers on children who have a “good enough” mother and/or who did separate and individuate properly in infancy? Do such children still develop narcissistic or other problematic traits and styles without the depth of true NPD or other identity/personality pathologies? I would search, but I’m unsure what term to search on - perhaps because the answer is just the rest of the DSM because my question is too broad to be sensible.
My father is a narcissist, mother was the sweetest mother caring loving etc , me and my sibling have normal feelings but we developed weak personalities , aka codependent and became people pleasers . So answer if you live with a narcissist father yea , you will be a vict8’ of narcissistic abuse
Question for you Sam, My question is : Can the fathers also be in more than one category.. Antisocial, Fantasy and submissive.. as well as having a harsh critical sadistic /touch love characteristics?
Dear Prof Vaknin, if a child was raised unfortunately by a dead mother (emotionally volatile, depressed, absent) before the age of 3 and already showing some narcissistic traits at 4 years of age (domineering, lack of empathy, sadistic, dysregulated), can the child develop to be emotionally healthy? If the mother figure has dealt with her trauma and become a better mother, and the father and other important figures in life help the child socialise, would the child be able to sublimate and have a coherent whole self image?
I would like to think so 😊 they are still very early, you can teach, nothing that a lot of love won't solve, they just have to feel that they have someone to rely on who won't abandon them
So what happens when you have been puzzled by you family’s dynamics your entire life, discover you have adhd at 47, realize your father has it and realize his “dysthymia” and depression and unhealthy attachment to his mother his entire life is rooted in covert narcissism? I have vowed most of my life to not be like him. So am I a compensatory Narcissist?
Very stuck on mothers being a narc, then the father being the socializer. Both should be parenting together, socializing together. Male throws ketchup, complainer 4 help, threatens, bribes, small animal & child abuser, imprisoned of another person son aged to force a decision the other would not do, obligatory & all around sociopath
14 mintues in you’ve described my husband who is the dead father and his son who is almost 10 years old is a narcissism. I plan on leaving their enmeshed toxic unhealthy relationship. All he does is enable and baby his son, don’t hold consequences all while his son has daily tantrums and arguments trying to control his father. He has some kind of separation anxiety or insecurity with his father. They are more of husband and wife than me and him. He’s put his son in between us so much we’ve never had any privacy as husband and wife. I’ve come to the conclusion that his father is grooming him and he is teaching him his toxic negative family traits. The boys mother is also a dead mother she emotionally and mentally disattached since the day her son was born. The step son of mine loves control so much and was never taught anything or enrolled in school only a spoiled child from a grand mother figure, no discipline or structure. He likes to target and control very small children much younger than him he takes his anger out on them it makes him feel more powerful to control them because kids his own age are not allowing it. I think he’s going to grow up raping or molesting my husband. I’m taking me and my daughter out of it.
Wow I just finished the last entire video the ending adds extra validation. In my case with my husband and step son yes they are doomed which is why I’m walking away
Wow I just finished the last entire video the ending adds extra validation. In my case with my husband and step son yes they are doomed which is why I’m walking away
@@macnchessplz It's in the works seriously. I got them to stop co-sleeping together but his son and both of them are still toxic and emotionally dependent on each other in very unhealthy ways. His son is overly codependent and attention seeking all the time even acting out negatively to get attention
hello dr. sam I am a follower and admirer of your work and I would love to be able to make it reach Spanish speakers like me. Would you agree to me translating your videos without any profit, completely ceding any financial gain to you? I studied law and plan to study psychology later, and beyond learning by transcribing each video, it would help me with my language skills. I would be very grateful for a response from you, I greatly admire your work, your knowledge and your way of explaining things. thank you!!!
Someone that I know of having daddy issues suffered from anxiety disorder and panic attacks for about a year soon after his father died due to a stroke. Do you have any explanation about this?
Could the impaired Executive function in ADHD be connected to these fathers? I can't do things without strong tangible stimulation to the task, independently; but if I have an external source of pressure of stim (deadline or reward) I can keep doing tasks. I can't trigger myself to the gym, but if my friend needs a ride to the gym I'm down to work out. I can I regulate/ stim myself?
How do i leave my nice-guy narc who acts like a good dad in front of others? Im so hollowed out but seeing my kids unhappy when i leave will break my heart. My own dad was a weekend dad but very much absent and i used to dream about hugging him because he hated all physical contact. So now, how do i tell my brain its ok to leave him??
