Narcissistic Supply EXPLAINED 

Here's the studies I was referencing: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4927024/ www.nature.com/articles/s41598-017-03935-y

I used to be like you in sooo many ways I know I ve heard thst narcissists cannot totally recover but I stayed alone and by myself for 5 years. I did n go out on dates or with friends. I only went to work and back home. I stopped wearing makeup and started wearing a baseball hat as to not attract the opposite sex. I even wored a wedding ring. I was so tired of being miserable and being a miserable person. I wanted to be happy with myself and knew what I needed to do to achieve the peace and fulfillment within myself that I craved. I didn't have a vehicle either..staying at home couldn't be avoided. The first year was very painful. I drank beer and got drunk a lot. The second year I was getting used to being miserable and went into a lot conspiracy theories and studying narcissistic personality disorder here on RU-vid. The third year I actually started taking really long walks around town with my much deserving dog. In that third year I began to recall things that used to make me happy as a child. I took lots of photos and listened to great music on those walks. The fourth year I began to actually enjoy being alone and I looked forward to going home so I could spend time at my house BY MYSELF. The fifth year I started cleaning houses with a friend who owned her own business on the side as well as teaching ballet (which had always been a dream of mine) Now I am confident, totally comfortable in my own skin and with all of my thoughts. My thoughts don't race like they used to. I am also less judgemental of others..it's a hard habit to break. Most importantly I'm not so hard on myself the way I once was or my family the way I once was. My family even acts differently towards me now..they are much more positive and willing to help me now. I started my own cleaning business and for the last three years I have been able to help others and take joy in giving rather than receiving I am grateful for my good health and good friends who have helped me (who I actually broke down and asked for help from) get to where I am today. I did a lot of hard work and soul searching that I never thought I was capable of. I knew if I didn't do it then, I would never grow as a person and into the adult I deserve to be. I wish you luck on your therapy, insight and growth. I enjoy your videos.

It’s pretty frustrating for they can easily be given “supply” if they didn’t sabotage the relationship themselves. What’s even more frustrating is most don’t even acknowledge it.

My take is that generally *all* women are socialized to seek out external validation. Women who don't are considered weird and it's actually one of the signs therapists look for when diagnosing girls/women with autism. I'm on the spectrum and part of my masking was to pretend to care what other people think of me or my accomplishments. I mean, I do care, kinda, but it's not a driver. It did drive my narcissistic mother up the wall because she couldn't goad me with, "What will people think?" when I was off doing my own weird thing. I have a small handful of close friends and peers whose opinions matter to me but outside of them, I couldn't care less. I've lost friendships over the years because of that validation void. Because I don't really need it, I also never learned how to give it. Part of my therapy has been learning how to do it. The people closest to me have learned if they want validation from me they can ask and I'm happy to practice those skills (as awkward as it can be at times).

This channel is really helpful for me as I grew up with 2 narcissistic parents - and just got out of a long-term relationship with a narcissist. I'm trying to learn how to recognize these narcissistic patterns in people sooner, and not take as much offense to their continual need for external self esteem boosting, reassurance, and lack of emotional empathy. Your videos have helped me so much; I just wish more narcissists were as self aware as you. Thank you!

Glad I found this channel. I'm a diagnosed narcissist and this is the best description of the addiction to supply I've ever seen.

First time in a year of reading and studying NPD that "supply" made sense. 🤯 Wow! My ex would start to panic on the inside then start to lash out that I wasn't giving him what he needed in that moment. Explains the constant compulsive cheating. Explains a lot.

It is curious that you feel like you don't exist without the supply. I see you as a unique, idiosyncratic and valuable person (same with Lee Hammond and Milkshake) with a clear and distinct personality...

I love self esteem juice.

Your honesty has really helped me understand my best friend. I have more compassion. Thank you

I was raised in a narcissistic family and all of this "disorder" didn't make sense to me untill I knew that there's a spiritual side to it. That's when I finally took it seriously and decided to lose hope for them. It's not about the supply. What's behind their disorder is after breaking your soul and taking it away so you'll be just like the narc who abused you. No one will get this unless they went through it. We've seen it in the symbolism of the Matrix Movie. It's darkness trying to spread, infect everyone. I think the narcissist is always on autopilot they can't control themselves so lose hope in them and save yourself. By being raised by narcs I realized I took on narcissistic traits and trying to recover from that isn't easy but I want it like my life depends on it because I know I'll lose my soul if I don't heal. I admire how aware of yourself you are and the fact that you're a truth seeker, to me, it means that you might find a way to recover. Thank you for sharing your experience. I wish you all the best.

“Supply” is dumb af. I prefer to call it Narcissistic “Elation”. When I can get other people to see me the way I want them to and receive reactions the way I fantasize about, I’m literally elated and feel euphoric. However, when I don’t get that, I feel dysphoric af and worthless.

Good video. Very interesting. How about calling it "External Self Esteem Support"? It's cool you were able to see your situation and are doing something about it. Congrats on the channel!

TNN , I can spend all day in the woods alone during the warmer months searching for old bottles along the rock walls and cellar holes. If I find some "virgin" dump with good glass then I'm back there alone as often as possible until it's dug out. I can also spend days in November alone in the woods hunting deer and even when I come out at the end of the day with nothing (which is the vast majority of the time) I still feel like I had an incredibly great day by myself. When I do get into some deer then I can't wait to tell other hunting buddies but, yeah, I really enjoy my time alone. I'm averse to apologizing to narcissists for having a good time alone but, dude, I'm sorry that this is something you'll never enjoy. It's difficult for me to wrap my mind around what you go through. Thank you for your vids, btw.

Have you ever read The Power of Now? It convinced me to approach life differently. Basically learn to go through life with your senses open but your mental chatter turned low or off. Just be awake to life moment by moment, like a deer in a field. None of your other thoughts are really that important unless they are central to your upkeep.

For narcissists, people are like furnishings of a house - pillows, bathtubs, pots and pans… each has a function; so what am I? People often think of me as a bathtub, comfortable for a soak, since I’m non-judgmental. But actually at some point they find out that I’m more like a mirror - a real mirror, not one with complementary lighting. So I reflect everything; the solid chest, the wrinkles, the nice ankles, the dark spot on the nose… it’s all right there. That can be uncomfortable, but it’s also uncommon. Because most people have an agenda. In terms of interactions with narcissists, I don’t; I find it more interesting to explore life’s natural flow. I’m a super empath and don’t need narcissists, but am still willing to engage. I find it interesting; like getting comfortable swimming with sharks. I have enough regulation of my emotions that it’s not a problem to move from love interest to friend to acquaintance to zero - which can be a dampener to egos. But it also means that I’m a source for extremely impartial information. In other words, truth.

Thanks so much.. (I’ve Learned) Singing vibrations from the vocal cords activates the Vegas Nerves that run long side…Releasing Endorphins in the Brain. Studying hundreds of songs, I found a common thread. A high degree of songs are written in regards to Narcissism. Makes me me feel, I’m not alone…Thanks Again …I now sing with RU-vid vids every morning when I wake up….You are changing the world…I am Proud of you..Pray that you keep it up 👍

3:41 you said. Basically what the research is saying is that this less connectivity between the two brain areas, narcs are "less able to get reward from their own implicit self esteem" The areas of the brain related to "the Self" At what point in infant and child brain development, did this incapability of not feeling good about just BE-ing a person/themselves develop? For one example. A friend of mine had a reading "disability" in public school. A random eye specialist/neurological specialists first question to them was.... "did you crawl as a baby?" WTF They were the only child of 5 siblings who basically skipped the crawling phase and went from sitting, to pulling themselves up to stand and walk. The doctor said, he had an eye-tracking issue that correlated to that specific point of motor-physical development that linked to a specific timing of brain development relating to visual processing. As we are wholistic beings. So he had 20/20 vision, but once his eyes saw words on a page, the brain screwed up the processing in a way that was not dyslexia but similar. Similar to the controversial neuro processing based Irlen Syndrome. Example 2 Irlen: I know someone who plays in a professional orchestra who cannot read sheet music unless it is printed on blue paper. 100% diagnosed, tested and proven through Irlen testing and previously lazily dismissed as some type of dyslexia. I learned that some people are unable to retain information that they read under harsh flourescent lighting. So by fluke, it was discovered that shit*ty lighting in certain classrooms makes some people struggle with feeling stupid and fail that class?! Full circle coming back to the point. How much of Narcissist brain development is correlated to a specific point of childhood physical and brain development and how much is from shit*y caretaker input at critical phases of personal development during brain Individuation phases? There are two types of parents. Ones that respond to the child, making it about Themselves and ones that respond, making it about (honoring) The child as an individual. Do habituated parental responses develop narcissists during the kids critical brain development? Example: I saw a 2 year old point to something and exclaim "Look, a bunny!" and this hillbilly mother snapped at them and hollered, "I know! (Me not you) get back here! ( No/scold) Then right afterwards, a different toddler looked and said "A bunny!!!" and their classier mother said... "You see a bunny?!" ( making it about Them as an indvidual and Validating their experience/exsistence) "what color is it?" (Tell me more/yes/encouraging the child's self exsistence) And I thought... oh God, that first kid is screwed. This kid isn't reinforced/allowed/developed to feel good about themselves or exsist seperately from their parent P.O.V. There should be competency testing to be allowed to breed and speak to babies.

You are great my man…. I believe I have found the greatest source of supply ever!…I ‘ve been in the music business over 50 years. I dreamed of having my own show. Now anyone can can do this. When you get the adulation from a few or the entire bar full of people!!! There is Nothing else like 👍 it… You have a tellapromter to give you the words,so won’t mess up. Karaoke is available for everyone. Used to be so expensive to create the back up music for Bands that were trying to reduce their costs. Because small clubs can’t afford a big band….Now it’s Free on RU-vid. The crowds of people there are so nice 👍 they don’t expect much…So whether you hit it Bigly or not you get a good 👍 or amazing 🤩 response.

I'm at a point where I'd go batshit if I had to be around people all the time--I stay away from them for the most part these days, my partying days are over. Lol My drug of choice (not really a choice though) is intelligent conversations/discussions to stave off boredom and give my brain the kicks it needs. I also have an insatiable thirst for knowledge which wants to be sated. That's part of why I like your channel. I don't suffer fools well. Our talks here may be short, but they help with the cravings. Keep up the good work! 👍😁 P.S.: I caught the term "emotional charge" somewhere and adopted it. Might not be perfect, but certainly a lot better than "supply" or "fuel," both of which I think of as inadequate, for several reasons.

Thank you. I love hearing your stories, which are super helpful. I also have some narcissistic tendencies, and I thought I was an empath. Haha think there is something we all can learn. Personality types are often driven by childhood pain and trauma, dont think it's fair for people to be their own type of narcissists about it and think they are so much better. We all have flaws and are not perfect. You'd be a great coach or councillor. Hope you find peace. ❤

seek the Lord and face the demons Nameless!

also - have you read the book "the courage to be disliked"? I would be so curious to hear your thoughts! The author does not mention NPD specifically but I think it implicitly addresses so many of the problems that pwNPD experience. His advice in the book to restore your sense of inherent value is to 1. realize you are valuable just by being a human being alive and 2. do things for your greater community. I think #1 is hard when you've grown up w/ adverse childhood experiences but can be developed over time, but I wonder about #2. I mean here you are helping people and I get that part of this feeds into the NPD BUT i've heard you mention a few times that unfamiliar feeling when you come across someone you've genuinely helped ~maybe it's pride, maybe it's even a little love and openness and authenticity and maybe that all feels ew gross ~. But do you think that's helping your self-concept??

I read that outside validation can be a need for (some) neurodiverse types too. To me supply indicate a outside source of validation, one or more people that give positive reinforcement. In both "camps" Personality disorders and at least ADHD and Autism spectrum there is some degree of arrested development due to the brain hasn't been given the resources to develop fully. We still need that extra other support to be able to develop it's just so much harder to get it because few people has the patience and understanding. AND we have developed so strong coping mechanisms to hide our needs from others and even for ourselves. Shame is a effective signal to stop ourselves from showing or verbalise our needs. It has taken me a couple of years to realise that I feel super uncomfortable when I get positive comments, in that moment I feel stupid/ashamed but the more I get it the more I realise It what I actually need and help me to self validate, at time. I wonder if that happens to Narcissists to or if it's the opposite reaction. If it doesn't happen you get angry/pissed/hurt but it's from the same core issue, the need for attention, validation positive signals? Hope that's not to strange grammar, english isn't my first language.

I grew up in trauma and as empath I can relate to a lot of things you say . I was devastated when I learned Santa wasn’t real. Also I think growing up with Disney fairy tales was the only idea I witnessed what love looked like. So that was what I was looking for. But it was a fantasy I lived in to cope. But it’s not reality and that was difficult to come to terms with. But as I accepted truth from illusion as I got older I understood and it was sad. What I wanted was perfection and the only perfect one is Jesus who is everything I was looking for in man. Life is about a lot of sadness and disappointment . But looking within we destroy lies and replace them with truth. Sometimes the truth hurts and we are always learning and growing until the day we die.

Thank you, you have talked about a lot of things that I know nothing about and I find it all extremely interesting. I clicked on this because of listening to Amber Heard's testimony and the comments in the media that she is a pathological narcissist and a liar. Although I feel she must have been horrendous to live with and obviously has some serious problems I also feel sorry for her in so many ways. Hopefully more research into the brain and its function will provide help for people who have this disorder and for those who live with them. By the way - your hair looks great and thank you for having the intelligence to discuss and share this without the F-word being in constant use,

I hope you don’t get mad at me for saying this but this makes me think that narcissists need to be committed into a mental health facility for long periods of time (4 months to a year) where they are subjected to daily intensive reprogramming of the mind. This doesn’t seem like something that a weekly 30 min therapy session can fix. Its so embedded in your core of being that you need to be reprogrammed almost like a brainwashing level of reprogramming.

I don’t know enough about it but considering neuroplasticity, I wonder about the possibility of neural reprogramming/ energy work type of stuff having any impact… it would be impossible without first having the awareness of the pathology and being willing to do the healing work… but how incredible it would be to see if there are ways out there that could be helpful…. You are wonderful as you are but I’m interested to follow your journey over time and see what is possible for you in reducing suffering

"It's like I lose who I am to the universe." When I heard you say this, it literally made me say "woah" out loud. It sounds.... almost kind of trippy, in a way! Not to suggest that it's "cool" or anything, since I'm sure it must be an extremely uncomfortable thing to go through. It seems like this feeling may possibly relate to your sense of self, in some way. Would you agree, or is that not quite accurate?

Eye opening. HG Tudor doesn’t like the term supply either. He prefers fuel.

NPD is very multi-faceted and multi-dimensional. Every behavior, trait, structure etc has multiple jobs since the developmental deficits are so extreme. The self is the source of all executive function. The self is disconnected. Supply ultimately equates to control, which meets the requirements for the executive functions to operate. Since they aren’t generated by the self, and the false self is generated externally, the need is never ending.

Fascinating! Lingering on the study you mentioned in the beginning. I'm wondering if there's a way to improve the positive appraisal toward oneself. Positive emotions generally don't arise from thinking, but from being/embodying positive experiences. Growing up in a situation of abuse/neglect, you may have had very few opportunities to embody positive experiences. Have you looked into the ACEs study (adverse childhood experiences?) We know that positive childhood experiences protect against the development of cluster B pathology in adulthood. I'm wondering if part of what contributes to NPD pathology is the lack of opportunities to embody positive experiences as your authentic self.

Hi great channel great videos! To me I understand the difference in getting narcissistic supply from admiration about achievements vs from loved one's genuine care and love is that the latter addresses the original wound with corrective experiences whereas the former reinforces the wound and perpetuates the cycle. I guess the question is how the individual can work towards allowing the love and care in by actively softening their defenses that would create unhelpful stories about it (i.e., questioning their motives, distorting).

Excellent topic. Thank you for explaining this and your perspective too🙏🏽

Thank you for the knowledge and insight,it is helpful to know..

Your hair looks good you shouldn't hide your eyes though and thankyou for helping me understand the loved ones ive had in my life I hated them but the way you put it helps me to see things fro. There oint of view. Your handsome man I'm giving you some compliments that are true

This was a great explanation, very clear, thank you!

Thank you for reminding me to take my meds, I needed that. :V

Mommy Issues and Daddy issues are all connecteded to self esteem.

I don't believe I have NPD but I very much have the same issue in regards to needing external validation to feel worthy. If people like me i feel good about myself. If they dislike me I feel like crap. My entire self esteem is based on other peoples feedback. I don't know aside from NPD what can cause that? Codependency perhaps?

It all stems from lonelyness. One or both parents were emotionally neglectful

I've noticed you wear the sunglasses about 90% of the time, curious why that is?

some amazing material. Thanks.

How about a drug that strengthens the connection between sense of self and reward center?

Good job.

I think its normal for women to be used to attention and can even be a shock when we don't get it. You get it from such a young age for soooo long we are conditioned to be used to it and even expect it to some degree. But there's the other side of that coin which is to be aware for safety. I find random people tend to approach me in public often so sometimes I find it exhausting to go in public at times if I'm not in a social mood or forgot to brush my hair or something😅

So when you’re not “putting on a show” / being around others, you feel like your self disappears? That’s very interesting, conceptually, because you put a false self up. So if the false self isn’t being validated, externally, do you exist?

SINCE NARCISSIST NEED PEOPLE WOULDN'T IT MAKE SENSE TO BE MORE SINCERE, CARING, KIND AND TRUSTWORTHY IN ORDER TO KEEP THESE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE?

My 2 cents on the topic: I don't know what, if any condition i may or not have, but in my case anyway, i feel like the capacity to provide myself with self-worth is like a muscle, atrophied since childhood, but not completely dead, I feel, through introspection and shit, that i can give myself more, and i rage less when others don't provide me, or at least i can it reason with myself more and more and understand it is an unreasonable expectations. And i find myself doing less and less stuff, starting hobbies, reading on topic X, Y and Y with the anticipation of receiving or giving myself praise. Naively, could that apply to NPD individuals ?

Also, my transition from a regular empath to a super empath, happened through using somatic/narcissistic energy tools. I wonder if a similar but adapted approach might be of benefit in expanding the range for narcissists?

This video is fucking good

Good topic share. Thanks

Oh, you're so Awesome! You are the most handsome man I've ever laid eyes on. You are the smartest person I've ever listened to. You are smarter than any professor. 🤔 There you go! Now, have a good night. Mr Wonderful!! 😉😂🤭🥳

Now I think if there's any difference between NPD and BPD.

Does that mean all narcissists are extroverts? Do you compare yourself with others when you say you look like shit? I think you look great! Very handsome 🙂 Can I ask if you're a somatic or cerebral narcissist? From what I've learned, there are only these 2 types, and you may shift from one to another.

Lol, nah you getting a hit of dopamine here on YT, I'm not mad at you 😉😉

Do you have any idea why devaluation and discard gives you "supply"...is it purely control and power?

I always thought it was like another noch on the belt so to speak. All about sex”. A Ego lift”. So supply is more like attention, praise, admiration? Pay attention to me”? Constantly

My favorite narcissist 😂 Man if you're ever around Joplin Missouri I love to take you out .

Yeah, I totally get why that concept of self love doesn't resonate with someone with a cluster b disorder. To us - 'neurotypicals' - it's really important and true tho'. Also for those, who has/have had highly narcissistic traits, as long as you aren't on the pathological side.

I have seen another video where you said that you do not like the distinction between grandiose and vulnerable narcissim. But here as a victim of a more vulnerable narcissist I see a very big difference. You seem to want to get the attention for how great you are but a VN is more out to get attention of pity and sympathy. That they are much more in a victim mode and want that to be mirrored back to them, while you are more out to get supply to feel that you are great. A VN is really not a attention seeker in this sense. What is your take on this?

Grandiose narcissists don't bother me as much as the sneaky covert ones. I'll take Kanye West over Don Lemon any day of the week.

How would I know if I have narcissism.

Hello :>

Do narcissist get supply from negative supply?

Have u covered the topic of porn addiction is this something you can speak on? Or care to?

Can internal validation be learned? Or even automated. I take my gender dysphoria as an example. Internal validation build by specifically spending time on environments that over use external validation to build internal validation

This video is profound , but narcs found a loop hole for their deficients! Smart cookies! ❤ 🎉 it’s not yalls faults , and this helps give a new perspective to this disorder for me , it’s a brain pathway issue and we should be more kind regarding this. It’s like a fish asking for a cup of water , it needs it . Some are manipulative because they are ashamed of their disorder , I just wish they were honest from the get go …it would help not rip some hearts apart or us take it personal if they talk to others , but I understand their discretion too, many remain in denial or just simply arent aware of it. Realistic treatment is such a good question ..maybe more support groups or gatherings or community service where they interact with more people ? They would get a lot of praise helping others , words of service would be a great love language for them to tell their partner from the start ? My ex also referred to himself as a ghost? Maybe that’s what he meant when you explained being stretched and becoming part of universe? So many more questions , how can we help these brains more?! Great video 🎉

The NPI is the saddest excuse for a personality test I have ever seen on the internet. I take more stock in Hogwarts House tests (96% Slytherin and 88% Ravenclaw, by the way). There are other tests out there for true clinical narcissism, I'm sure, but the two I've taken have been lost in that part of my mental library where all the dropouts go to smoke their shitty weed. Also, the "love yourself" narrative is something I get a lot too, and I find it... smothering and loathsome. Same goes for internally regulated emotions and (LoL) praying for my soul. It's actually really frustrating that I am in a world that pays lip service to acceptance of differences among individuals, but all I get is "you shouldn't be like that" and "do this thing that everyone else is doing and you will be cured". The juice just isn't worth the squeeze. I am entirely dependent on the positive feedback of others, but I lack the social skills to know how to go out and "make friends" due to ostracism throughout school and in the family, so I spend most of my time on social media - really, not too different from everyone else... which triggers my shame about being like "all the other girls". Oh, how this balance of tribal acceptance and standing out stretches me thin! Negative feedback sucks because in my mind, that person is both protected from retaliation by others ("How dare you fight back? Don't you know that two wrongs don't make a right? Let karma take care of him. Be the better man. Etc.") and is himself belligerent and therefore cannot be reasoned with, so I just mentally throw these people in the trash heap where they FUCKING BELONG! Ugh... the vulgar, monosyllabic lambasters of great things and their complacent pinko enablers...

You gotta start beliving in youself and change the narrative. PEACE

I think my man had me for sex. 1other woman made him feel intelligent. 1other women made him feel like he had a great sense of humor. 1other women made him feel like he was gentle. Blah blah blah. Women to build him into a man type thing. Is THAT kind of it?

Why can’t you guys start talking to yourself nicer and do words of affirmation until you start believing them. Everybody has to focus on the good inside them to have high self esteem. Cause everybody has good and bad in them. You can’t just focus on the bad every day have to train your mind to pay attention to the good more.

That doesn't explain why you thrive on destruction. Why is that fuel more potent when negativity is high? I would get it if narcissists were only looking for positive (compliments, even adulation). But that's not the case. I don't think you understand what narcissistic supply is. I don't think it's a self esteem regulation. It's almost like a demon inside of you that needs to be fed in order for you to push down feelings of inadequacy, shame, humiliation etc

Nah do what you gotta do

I just read an article last night that described being sucked by a black hole the same way you described your atoms being stretched apart, and claiming that's the most painful way to die. oddly fascinating. were you sucked by a black hole in a past life and still have a trauma from that? 🤣

You’re going to have to change the name of your show because you gave up your name and one of your other videos. You were referring to yourself in one of your dialogues. Your name is Jake. Correct me if I’m wrong but you said it on your video

Like listening to you , I watch only 3 others with npd . I have a question, do most self aware narcissists have a dr that they talk to ?

You don't need to answer this question..... Your choice...🙏..but During one day ....can you describe what actions you take, do or say, give you N. Supply (juice 😅)

And then as a narc you go " who the fk are you to make me feel better by validating me??? The fk outta here..."