@@mskay7817 I didn´t write that you are not aware. Just for ME forgiveness is one thing but to trust such a person again another one. That is all I wanted to write. Nothing wrong about your point of view because it is correct.
@@IsabellaPiesch A: such people cannot be trusted again. B: if that’s all you wanted to say, creating your own comment, without using it as a response mine, would have sufficed. Had you done a stand alone comment, I might have even liked it. But I see this for what it is. Have a day.
The same damn sentence in Russian, i heard it so many times! When you do the same awful thing again and again how could ignore the pattern? And why should I ignore it?!
Please note this: If they put their hands on you in anger. That is not going to be any different. Over time it gets worse. And that's not a mistake or an accident. It's a choice an abuser makes. They know what they are doing is wrong but they do it anyway. Leave safely.
If your past still impacts your present deeply - IT IS NOT PAST. What's important, many toxic therapists give this precious advise as well... . How very invalidating and disheartening.
He says that to me all the time.Stop living in the past.Im too sensitive, too emotional too much of an overthinker.No matter what I do.I used to feel like I wasn't good enough but I've realized I'm too good for him!!!!I need to walk away for sure!!
I learned the hard way with my narcissistic husband how "living in the past" applied differently with me and him. Our disagreements could never be resolved and just kept piling up. He refused to discuss or acknowledge anything that he did or would tell me what i wanted to hear. Hence the reason i kept bringing up the past, was so we could settle our issues and learn from them once for all like a mature husband and wife. Now, when he brought up the past of something he didn't like, he shamed me over and over and weaponized it against me AND used triangulation to tell family what I did. It is like trying to discuss your emotions and disagreements with a toddler. Eventually you learn, you can NOT reason with someone who isn't reasonable.
I would seek reconciliation or closure from my ex and he would play dumb or gaslight me, and in frustration I would raise my hands and drop it. (It's exactly what he wanted, to not be held accountable and remain in control.) TOXIC TOXIC TOXIC! You will always go in circles with these people until you decide to wash your hands clean of them!
There was a song called Something in the past over 40 years ago. I had a male-friend who loved accusing me of cheating if someone spoke to me. He was so insecure. I realized his insecurities was because he had nothing to offer but misery. He was a miserable piece of body waste! I'm grateful to GOD for showing me how chaotic he was. I dated him for a couple of months, but it felt like many yrs of wasted time!!!
If you ever try to address the past or bring up the things that bother you somehow it becomes your fault for RUINING A GOOD DAY!? And that you are a fun sucker…….🤯🤬😒 As Lee would say…. “The mindset is WILD!”
It’s so hard to accept until… the day comes where it’s undeniable. I’m grateful for the instances that made any suspiciousness a reality that I can no longer even QUESTION! It’s easy to walk away with just the right “button”. Realizing that a family member was honest about how they don’t “care” and get annoyed about my yearly experience of grieving my deceased son. Yes: it was 8 years ago. But when you bring my boy into it?! Ohhhh.. its easy now! Thank you Lee
I grew up with one and ended up having a daughter that is one of them. It's hard to walk away from your own child, but the more I hear what you say, the more I realize it can never change and never work. I stood up for myself where she spins all sorts of false accounts, etc, and it always came back with vengeance. No contact is the best
Unfortunately I was young and did not realize I was with a narcissistic person. I did not realize till many years in. But after the many years in, I had forgiven him and just let go of the hurtful things he did too me. So the last time, he crossed lines that I just couldn't let be uncrossed. Especially with him not admitting, acknowledging, apologizing to anything.. but you can bet after a few months. He just expected me to have let it go. Forgiven him. Moved past it. And got mad at me when I kept asking him for answers. He got so mad at me to the point he lost it. Then a few months later, again tried to talk and say we should be able to be friends by now. But it was because I had done it the times before. He expected it. When I finally didn't let it happen again. He did not know what to do. He was and still is beyond mad at me.
He always told me to let go of the past and we'd be alright .. My response was I'd be a lunatic to let go of the silent treatments, gas lighting, degrading as well as nothing he did was ever my fault ..somehow it was always twisted to me my fault.. Best thing I ever did was walk away and get ME BACK . Sometimes live just ain't enough
Just listen to his videos and you will become aware and through that you WILL BEGIN to heal and get your life back ..I promise .. Im 1 year down on leaving the narcassist that nearly destroyed me and I'm still coming here with every new video watching and learning, healing and getting ME back
Are you gonna do a set schedule in the morning? RU-vid is being shady. My notifications are set properly on my phone and RU-vid. I don’t get a notification that someone is going live.😕
I am sorry but I don´t have dementia. And in my book you talk about things you do. (I know a narcissist doesn´t want to do that). So yeah I got that sentence too. Why do you bring it up now - you are resentful. In fact I am really not resentful but I wanted to clear things - that was all. You can imagine I was not successful and I never will be...
Ahhh RESENTFUL! That is another one I‘ve heard a lot! And I’m the same way! You address the elephant in the room not sweep it under the rug! It’s never successful because the narc makes it that way! If you bring it up then it becomes your fault for RUINING A GOOD DAY! 🤬
What in therapy has helped you to STOP yourself not to feel attacked when someone addresses you with an issue from.the past? I had an ex gf and still another friend whom simply gets angry, says this is gonna ruin their day, blame shifts etc. I can maybe point some tips to my friend
Well I don't know according to Jerry wise and a few other people that are educated in this field narcissists just don't change. Ever semi question is do you read all these comments and all this crying about this and that and laugh to yourself? Are you really empathetic to these people? Or are you just saying dollar signs I'm just asking for a friend
