Narcissists Who Won't Face What They Need To Face

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You've probably heard the phrase: An unexamined life is not worth living. Each person needs to develop self-awareness in the attempt to find meaning. Does that sound like the way narcissists think? Dr. Les Carter explains how they need to face various truths about themselves, yet they won't. This underscores your need to guard against allowing them to define you.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder. Since creating his RU-vid channel, his videos have received more than 115 million views.
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5 июл 2024

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Комментарии : 235

@caroleminke6116 19 дней назад

I saw disbelief on his face after he finally realized no one, even in his own dysfunctional family, trusted his false self anymore… A sad & pathetic sight when an aging narcissist knows that the emperor’s new clothes aren’t real to anyone!

@jodycasey6936 18 дней назад

A sad but exciting sight, in my opinion

@flightmama3191 17 дней назад

Magnificent gratitude beautiful SOUL 4 Ur seeing this TRUTH ❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉GLORY 2 GOD❤❤❤B STRONG 🎉 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE 2 U❤

@bridgettetraveler658 10 дней назад

Dethroning The Old Kings is a hard fall for an old fool who thinks they're a king! They lie so much until they believe their lies!!!

@roxymovie3938 19 дней назад

Truths Narcs won"t face: 1. Everyone is equal and therefore should be respected the same 2. Everyone is different/unique and therefore there are many different/unique perspectives 3. Everyone has a free will and therefore is allowed to make their own choices 4. Everyone is responsible for their own feelings and actions and therefore nobody else can be blamed 5. Any real connection (with oneself and others) requires honesty 6. Every person has strengths and weaknesses for nobody is perfect 7. Everyone is a seperated human being with their own thoughts, feelings and needs 8. Everyone wants to be seen, heard and loved

@SurvivingNarcissism 19 дней назад

You are so on it, Roxy.

@amandaliverpool3374 18 дней назад

@roxymovie3938 They think they know what you're thinking and feeling. Very clever...not 🙄

@darbydelane4588 18 дней назад

Nice! Love this.

@thabomuso2575 18 дней назад

All of this is true, but the foundation for their behavior is their self-despise. You can't respect others if you don't respect yourself. And behind that mask they actually do realize that, but only on the surface. If they would delve into their own abyss of self-loathing, they fear to never recovering from that. For good reason.

@user-dq7pc1vg4f 18 дней назад

I think they don't care what you're thinking and feeling...that's the problem.@@amandaliverpool3374

@smustipher 18 дней назад

I remember my father saying to me something along the lines of "You are always running away from your problems". I was 10 or 11, a straight A student, active in sports, and, as far as I could tell, a "good kid".. My response was: 🤔🤔🤔. Now, as an adult, I realize I was being blinded by the light of a high powered PROJECTOR. So bright it could burn your retinas if you looked at it for more than 1 second. 😐😐😐

@jodycasey6936 18 дней назад

I’m glad you’re here

@benjaminbosley6169 16 дней назад

Thanks for sharing. My PROJECTOR falsely accused me of lying to myself and everyone else. That individual lies all the time and won't face themselves, but ironically, she talks about it more than most, but she ain't actually doing it. It's as if she thinks talking the talk is enough, even if she doesn't walk the talk. But there's nothing unusual about her lack of self awareness and hypocrisy in the world, it's everywhere.

@valeriealexander4856 10 дней назад

😢

@darinsmith2458 18 дней назад

My experience with them is that they do know what they are doing.. They know what right and wrong is but they have this resentment that is driving them..

@samdevallance1527 18 дней назад

So true I agree.

@darinsmith2458 18 дней назад

@@samdevallance1527 Thank you..

@amandaa3713 13 дней назад

@darin I given all types of opprtunity ovet a span of 21 years and watched in case there ever is mental defect of sone sort in faily to acknowledge their issues and now am in COMPLETE agreement with you.

@aaronkwolfe 19 дней назад

A large part of this, is that we may know what they need to face but they (the narcissistic ones) wouldn't stoop to listen, let alone agree with us.

@maureengauvin1768 18 дней назад

Exactly! My P/A Covert Narc husband of 22 yrs, said repeatedly to me “I can’t lose to myself.” Hmmm??? Pretty much his final summary testimony to my decision to finally end the marriage & throw him out lock, stock & barrel, as I opted to go forward on my own & continue to raise our two young children by myself. After all, I had always already been totally alone anyway for the duration of the marriage; at least we wouldn’t have to deal with his brand of crazy any more. These people should be prosecutable for the damage they do to others lives. Its damnable that they are never held to account & the victims then spend years - some decades even - in the healing process from all of the damage that was inflicted. 🧡🙏🏻

@flightmama3191 17 дней назад

@@maureengauvin1768I couldn't agree more, plus when I finally left my jerk husband after 42 years he publicly aired our laundry on FB, he's still claiming victim and that I am the bad guy and continues 2 spew any shit he can 2 ANYONE FOOLISH ENOUGH 2 LISTEN, IT'S PATHETIC how he thinks he's destroying me, while I moved onto UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF SELF AND OTHERS.....LIFE IS MUCH BETTER, AND U SERIOUSLY SAVED UR CHILDREN....I do regret that part, but as adults they are probably MORE SUPPORTIVE BECAZ THEY R ALSO VICTIMS OF THE ABUSE....Treat Urself as if U R A WARRIOR BECAZ U R, AND HEAL FROM 1,000 LITTLE CUTS, caz that's what they did 2 US. MAGNIFICENT LOVE AND GRATITUDE 2 U BEAUTIFUL SOUL ❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉

@fred.k9875 20 дней назад

Narcissist perpetuates their fears rather than facing them.

@samdevallance1527 18 дней назад

So true.

@BaraSchmidt 18 дней назад

They can't face anything. They don't have a real face!

@jodycasey6936 18 дней назад

They do have a real face that very few people get to see 😬

@BaraSchmidt 18 дней назад

@@jodycasey6936 That even they can't recognize! 😊

@pugnasilvia943 18 дней назад

Just masks.

@amandaliverpool3374 18 дней назад

@@BaraSchmidt Agreed 👍

@waywardstitch8604 18 дней назад

Narc ==> 🫣

@amandaliverpool3374 19 дней назад

They won't face the truth and take responsibility for their actions!!!

@yukio_saito 19 дней назад

Everything is everyone else's fault. 😦😧😨

@amandaliverpool3374 19 дней назад

@@yukio_saito Absolutely!

@velvetgardenia 19 дней назад

Ever!!

@velvetgardenia 19 дней назад

@@yukio_saito always. Never ever THEIR FAULT

@pugnasilvia943 18 дней назад

Even when the fault is more obvious then an elephant they actually deny it has something to do with them. Yap. Never ever their fault...

@m.o.t.h.studios 18 дней назад

I learned theres nothing that I can contribute that they dont already know and have a deeper understanding about. Its sad to watch the car wreck of emotional and psychological immaturity.

@TheThiaminBlog 18 дней назад

Yes.

@marilynmcmahon5932 18 дней назад

Gus is healthy in mind, body and spirit. He is a good role model.

@southerngal4655 18 дней назад

Luv Dr. C. but Gus is the star. ❤️😉

@SurvivingNarcissism 18 дней назад

I'll concede that one.

@michelepascoe6068 18 дней назад

Narcissist's psychological math mindset: Lack of self-reflection + Lack of stark honesty + Lack of humility + Lack of curiosity = Foolishness 🙄

@elcee7800 18 дней назад

This is the dead end that is so fatal to relationships.

@palma9835 18 дней назад

I really don’t think they can or know how to admit any faults because of an emotional disorder perpetrated from childhood. They really can’t change!

@user-dq7pc1vg4f 18 дней назад

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. They don't need to take responsibility for their bad behavior; that's what scapegoats are for!

@maureenroy4739 19 дней назад

I have run into alot of narcissists in my life. I have to say, it doesn't end well for them. I've seen miserable deaths, early deaths, and isolation in old age. I have always been lucky enough to be loving but I will become more gracious with people who choose power over love. It is time for me to see the grey areas and be more patient that life will resolve issues. Thank you for showing me these things, Dr. Carter. I am privileged to follow you here.

@snowbear1877 18 дней назад

I've seen miserable, early deaths and a lonely old age in ordinary people too. They were definitely not narcissists. In fact I've seen narcissists surrounded by enablers and friends and family in their old age and wonderful eulogies of high praise at their funerals. There's no justice in this world.

@yukio_saito 18 дней назад

When they break up with you, then don't reflect on what was bad with themselves. They only start looking for a replacement for you. 😮

@SurvivingNarcissism 18 дней назад

Correct.

@yukio_saito 18 дней назад

This is my ex-friend. He got married to his second wife a bit after his first spouse ran away from home. 🏃‍♀💨💨🏠 But he also failed in his second marriage. After that, he immediately made a new girlfriend. 😮

@yukio_saito 18 дней назад

@@SurvivingNarcissism Thank you. This video made it clearer.

@randomcertainty2079 18 дней назад

The process for me felt like watering a dead houseplant. There's no miracle reblooming that's going to take place. Time to get a new plant.

@hopespringseternal7038 18 дней назад

wellsaid

@iseewhatyoudidthere1245 18 дней назад

" watering a dead house plant"...👍

@Duke2363 18 дней назад

Dr. Les. Yup. My brother has never dealt with his childhood crap. He blames both my parents and despises them. Mom died on June 23rd. I'm doing fine. In fact, very fine. He stopped by to drop off some of Mom's stuff and I got the fake hugs from him and his wife. They weren't bothered my mom's death. They pretended to be though. I have a great radar for fake superficial people. My wife called him out well after they left. "He has the emotional intelligence of a rock."

@emiledarga9313 17 дней назад

I've never known or known of a truly narcissistic person agree to getting help...not even through group counseling. They feel entitled to their cruelty. But they're quite aware of what they're doing.

@lynnschaeferle-zh4go 17 дней назад

No anger, just backstabbing, resentment and mysterious payback

@andydufresne8034 18 дней назад

They are tragic. Their entire lives are wasted on dysfunction. They never know peace, joy, love, or accomplishment even though those concepts stare them in the face within grasp if they could only make the slightest tweak to their thinking. Let it remind you how lucky you are that you can grasp those concepts. It's the difference between a wasted life and a fulfilling one.

@amypemberton528 18 дней назад

After 25 years of abuse, at the hands of my narcissistic husband, I escaped. I gave him every opportunity to change. To keep our family together. To work through the hurt and find happiness. We spent years in counseling until our counselor finally told him she had no more help to offer him. I prayed and believed and hoped. In the end, after he admitted he wouldn’t change, I left him. He was engaged before our divorce was final and was married a month later. I have been told he is surrounded by really good people and is incredibly happy. I remain alone. The family I worked so hard to have is non-existent yet he has secured one for himself. I find myself angry and sad about it more often than I should.

@Rachel-mz8ko 18 дней назад

Wow.

@t_nels 18 дней назад

I don't know who you are hearing it from but please be careful in trusting this. They must have a lot invested in pulling it off. Make new friends and stay away from contact those who tell you this, and know that this person didn't value you enough to work with you or the therapist.

@rosieE121 18 дней назад

You were fortunate he was willing to spend time in counseling. Usually they quit soon as therapist disagrees with them.

@amypemberton528 18 дней назад

@@t_nels, thank you for your thoughtful words. Unfortunately, our son is the person who passed the information on to me. The struggle I have is trying to quiet the voice inside that tells me I wasn’t enough.

@amypemberton528 18 дней назад

@@rosieE121, initially he agreed to participate in counseling because I was ready to leave. During our years in counseling, I watched him soak up the attention from the educated person leading the session and hoard details about my pain. Later, he’d use what he learned to strike me down.

@spacegirl226 18 дней назад

"I'm not managing my anger well." Good heavens, if my mother ever said that, I would drop dead right there. There will never ever be any facing of who they are. My family will never know themselves, nor do they care to. And they'll never know me. I know everything I need to. Thanks, Dr. C. A much needed video.

@SurvivingNarcissism 18 дней назад

That's my point!

@rosieE121 18 дней назад

Almost funny

@HEisWorthy-4C 18 дней назад

Dr C., what a privilege it would be to sit across the room with you as a therapist! To self reflect in honesty and sincerity in asking for your wisdom & guidance toward a productive life & one full of peace. So many of us dealing with hurtful relationships & the residuals that has left us wondering what purpose did they enter our life? Other than to say....we are stronger, humbled. and more aware of the warning signs. Words are inadequate to express the value of your videos. ❤

@SurvivingNarcissism 18 дней назад

You're kind. And, I really did enjoy my work as a therapist.

@HEisWorthy-4C 18 дней назад

@@SurvivingNarcissism You are the best!! 🤗

@l.5832 18 дней назад

I know what I need to face: My narc sister and my narc ex-husband have nothing in common with me. We share NO values and so it is useless to try to establish or maintain a relationship with people when there are no shared values. I need to remember this moving forward.

@samdevallance1527 18 дней назад

They don’t sincerely want to face their issues and fears even when they say they do because it is too hard so they dump it on you and make you to blame and take the responsibility for it. And of course that’s impossible so they turn on you and make you the enemy and that are being the bad guy to them. They are completely impossible🙄

@tgfitzgerald 12 дней назад

Spot on!!

@Hatbox948 19 дней назад

My nex never talked about his childhood much, but he must have had some trauma because he's really messed up.

@delsc7287 18 дней назад

This!

@t_nels 18 дней назад

Talk little but may be proud of their perfectness. Yet their parents draw you a whole other pic.

@caroleminke6116 18 дней назад

Most male narcissists aren’t just autoerotic but also deeply closeted homosexuals & that’s kryptonite ❤️‍🩹 in the end my own malignant narcissistic father said he thought that being gay was OK 🤦‍♀️

@Hatbox948 18 дней назад

@@caroleminke6116 That would not be OK with me.

@rosieE121 18 дней назад

I married the nex early enough in life to know what his childhood was like. He had endured physical and emotional trauma from family. I felt very sympathetic and he said he would never "be that way". But he was. He didn't seem to have the emotional strength to face it.

@stevebrown5427 18 дней назад

I've been co-parenting with a covert narcissist sociopath for 13 years. It's astounding how she can manipulate everyone I seek to help my child; she can mesmerize and brainwash anyone at will in just one meeting. It's like dealing with some kind of evil spiritual being or witchcraft; the chaos and destruction she causes are unbelievable. She remains untouchable, while I am always held accountable.

@keeleehudson 18 дней назад

They don't need to face anything, bc in this world they are at the top of thr food chain.

@rosieE121 18 дней назад

That may be but are at the bottom of the love list if on it at all.

@elcee7800 18 дней назад

😁 so true.

@patg.7192 18 дней назад

Hey Team Healthy from Home Town Wisconsin!🎉

@aaronkwolfe 18 дней назад

Greetings! Visiting Wisconsin this week, myself.

@amandaliverpool3374 18 дней назад

@@patg.7192 Hi 👋 from Liverpool

@PixieCropCircleDuster 18 дней назад

They just want to you to marinate in their trauma bonds & toxic stew, it's a real live crabs in the bucket scenario....don't ever stir the pot with self reflection or questions if you don't want to cause narcissistic injury.

@sueg2658 18 дней назад

My mother nor my ex husband NEVER EVER took responsibility for anything or looked at themselves.

@user-qv9nw1dq2f 18 дней назад

My life is going to be well examined and I don’t want to live in a foolish way. I want to live my separate independent authentic life having voluntarily nothing serious to do with narcisists. They are people of the lie. Thank you dr Carter ❤ God bless you ❤

@daniellemeenach4418 17 дней назад

Children of the Lie...the Sons of disobedience 😭🙏❤️

@terminsane 18 дней назад

A narcissist family member lit a huge bonfire at the family cottage and burned holes in everything. When we found out and politely asked about it, he flew off the rails yelling at us, calling us names and blaming us for leaving things out. After 40+ years of us using the cottage, nobody ever had issues til this guy realized he can chase everyone else off the property and inherit it for himself since hes now the only one going up to the cottage. He disconnects our electrical/AC to use the outlet for himself. Yells at us if we complain and tells us "its for everybody" and we need to "share". We installed & paid for the outlet ourselves and he tells us we didnt, and says its been there forever.... Hes never been at the cottage in 40+ years until 2 years ago when he decided its all his. He threw all our stuff out if storage and into the dirt to make room for his things. He tows our stuff around the property randomly when he decides he needs to "work on that spot". He just discovered we have a fishing boat in the barn so now he needs to work on the barn and the boat has to be moved... He doesnt care where we move it, he says, except it cant be here, or there, or there, or over there. Not there either. Our peaceful getaway is now a online livestreaming tv show for him with his cameras everywhere... Nobody ever stole anything there until he showed up & began stealing and trashing everything... He tore down the summer kitchen we all used.... To use the cement pad as a parking space. He dumped the rubble on our stone walkway we made. Police wont do anything because our 98 year old grandmother owns the place and doesnt understand whats happening. He manipulated her into signing power of attourney to the sociopath and police tell us theres nothing we can do.

@user-bh7vy8qw5l 18 дней назад

Have you asked her doctor if she is capable of understanding the outcome of signing a power of attorney? Because of medical privacy laws he might not be able to tell you any information, but it’s a starting point. Is there a family member that always goes with her to Drs. appointments? Consult with an attorney that specializes in elder rights and abuse. Make sure the family member does not have access to any savings accounts, credit cards, stocks or deeds to other properties, car titles, or her will. Let other family members know what you plan on doing. These suggestions are based on situations that have happened in my family.

@Rachel-mz8ko 18 дней назад

Wow. How unfair. I feel terrible for you.

@rosieE121 18 дней назад

He is likely one of those highly successful narcissists too.

@jenniferpoulin5761 18 дней назад

Don't delay! See an attorney about this ASAP! Power of attorney can be revoked & reassigned!

@LipstickNsofrito 18 дней назад

Everyone..have a wonderful day...blessings and much love to you all ❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@MarianneCatherine 18 дней назад

Wow! So much love ❤️ ❤❤ thank you!!! Have a blessed holiday weekend, Team Healthy, and God bless America!!! ❤❤❤🙏🙏🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

@LipstickNsofrito 18 дней назад

@@MarianneCatherine ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@MarianneCatherine 18 дней назад

God bless you always!!! ❤❤❤🤗🫂🫂🫂🤗❤️❤️❤️

@LipstickNsofrito 18 дней назад

@@MarianneCatherine God bless you too... always !!🫂🫂🫂

@MarianneCatherine 18 дней назад

@@LipstickNsofrito ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ Thank you!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ You made my day much brighter!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

@tonysmith7632 18 дней назад

Self reflection, stark honesty, humility, curiosity. These are so powerful. Thank you, Dr. Carter.

@SandraMuller-vs8ck 17 дней назад

Reminiscing this scenario that revealed the reverse of my expectations to this individual has taught me a lesson of awareness. I realize that all that glitters is not gold. Superficiality should not exist within a professional who holds a portfolio of trust, duty of care, responsibility and respect. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts of wisdom in educating me to understand this individual. God bless. ❤

@painteroflove 18 дней назад

Wow, I had to put a magnifying glass on the screen for a long time to see Gus breathing! Scared me. Dr. Carter, you're always on target and a blessing. Thank you.

@Teacher369 18 дней назад

👋 Dr Carter ☀️ Is it fair to say that narcissists are “predatory” in nature?

@SurvivingNarcissism 18 дней назад

As a general rule, yes.

@MeCynthiaAnn 19 дней назад

Thank you so much even in advance seeing you and Gus’s video. God bless you from JANESVILLE, WI

@SurvivingNarcissism 19 дней назад

Thanks, Cynthia!!

@MeCynthiaAnn 19 дней назад

@@SurvivingNarcissism smiles

@yukio_saito 18 дней назад

But, how can they learn the truth? They assume what they are seeing is their truth. They don't listen to others and can't learn alone.

@roxymovie3938 18 дней назад

@@yukio_saito The truth has a way of revealing itself. This can take time though. Just yesterday I watched a very interesting interview about a person, who got the diagnosis of ASPD (in this case a Sociopath) who talked very openly about the childhood trauma, the bullying and the misconception of love etc. This person was really reflecting but of course when there is no spark of insight and awareness there is no willingness to learn and change.

@yukio_saito 18 дней назад

@@roxymovie3938 The person reflected on what happened to him, not on themself.

@roxymovie3938 17 дней назад

@@yukio_saito This person was reflecting on herself and I already saw changes for I had seen an interview with the same person a year ago. But of course, these are exceptions because most of them have no conciousness.

@debbiehardy40 18 дней назад

Sometimes, folks call you high and mighty and prideful bc you don't sin like they do. Others sin like THEY do and don't need to jump into another's sin pattern.

@lesliewoolnough7871 17 дней назад

The hate goes out and the walls go up the unawareness levels go up with the walls

@bridgettetraveler658 10 дней назад

Confronting a narcissist is almost a waste of time. Their lives are built on complete lies. We have no idea who these ppl really are for yrs!!!

@delsc7287 18 дней назад

Can you do a video on narcissism vs alcoholism? My relationship is ending because of severe alcohol abuse. His ex wife drilled into his head that he’s just an awful narcissist, but i see a good, loving man who hates himself. He’s sick with addiction and idk how to help him. I was in a sick marriage for 22 years with an actual narcissist, and have no idea how to have healthy relationships. But I pondered if there’s more to his issues than alcohol and I’m just naive.

@arielalejandro6900 18 дней назад

thanks Dr. C, it amazes me how you can have so much topics and things to say about NPD, each day I learn something new, thanks again.

@SurvivingNarcissism 18 дней назад

My brain stays active. Glad the topics resonate!

@JJ-zv2vc 15 дней назад

When I try to talk about an issue or problem or a situation that needs addressing, I'm told "you just run your mouth." I responded that is a form of disrespect to dismiss my attempts to talk things out to reach a resolution. I was then told, "it's best to leave things unsaid and let it go." I said it sounds nice but it isn't right cus that's shutting down a conversation that needs to be had. I told him I watch real counselors that say it's important to civilly speak to the other person and that sweeping a problem under the rug means you didn't learn to deal with handling disagreements with positivity and I was met with laughter. I said let's agree to disagree if we really can't land on the same thoughts. Thank you Dr. LC because it helped me remain grounded and not become confused with word salad. And I feel your counseling and advice makes a difference.

@MeCynthiaAnn 18 дней назад

Just got done listening to your video even though I commented before you even posted because I get so excited to hear your videos. God bless you and thank you again so much for all your words of wisdom. Hugs to Gus. From Cynthia in JANESVILLE, WI

@SurvivingNarcissism 18 дней назад

You're the best, Cynthia.

@FusRoDarshinae 15 дней назад

I like the saying 'Play stupid games, win stupid prizes'. The chickens eventually come home to roost when people have finally had enough, and narcissists will end up alone or only tolerated in small doses. Its sad for everyone involved.

@SurvivingNarcissism 15 дней назад

Karma.

@Fonn-ig1hc 18 дней назад

I made the conscious choice to learn what not to do more than what to do. These days I wait patiently for the Universe to show me the way to live my days. When I jump ahead of myself or get mad I remind myself of the day I decided to not yell and devise evil against others. I was 3 when I heard enough out of these people. The two parents were meant for each other! Ganging up on my grandma was the reason I made the choice. My nanny kept me sane for 18 years. ❤

@t_nels 18 дней назад

🫂 Grandparents can be priceless, they teach us so much.

@Dj.D25 18 дней назад

I am guessing recommending movies or books with a message of self reflection won’t work with narcissists.

@rosieE121 18 дней назад

Try that only if you want a gigantic temper tantrum!

@Anonymous-gn3ly 18 дней назад

Narcissist says: “Why would I examine myself? That means something is wrong with you. I don’t do psychobabble. You go and you examine yourself, you’re so dysfunctional.”

@michelepascoe6068 18 дней назад

My mother to the depressed teenaged scapegoat, "You need a psychiatrist! (An insult, not an offer) "You have a persecution complex!!" And to the depressed teenaged golden child, "You need an overseas holiday to cheer you up!" (She was given it.)

@oldtrowt 17 дней назад

There's a fine line between self examination and self obsession. Having examined the meaning of one's life I believe in looking outward for interests rather than continue the navel gazing which pays the therapist and satisfies others curiosity.

@elizabethambielli610 14 дней назад

Just a few days ago, I came to the realization: I will never be able to change the ways of human nature. If I keep asking Why why why they are as they are... then my 'focus' on what REALLY matters for this 'short life' on earth is lost. What matters IS, growth of FAITH in what is above. Bully's (though they KNOW NOT what they are doing or speaking) are not WHOLLY aligned to THAT SUPREME SPIRIT that provides GRACE for our time here on earth. In their 'self protective' mode, and 'do own thing' ideology...rejection of objective good... they contribute to 'that devil' spirit that DOES ROAM. Narcissistic bullying IS WHAT IS MEANT by "being pulled down' to ONLY WHAT IS BELOW (earthly) The arguments, the nyaaah nyaaah's as child minds do on the playground, the pushing and shoving though supposedly 'adult.' . . . all those of FAITH can do is PRAY for them and CONTINUE ON persevering in GOD'S WAY. (GODLY WAYS) Fruit of His Spirit. TO FORGIVE IN HEART can only be done BY LOVE part of us. We don't have to 'hang with' those who give disrespect . . . ALL THAT CAN BE DONE is to PRAY FOR THEM and live as always IN GOD. (Be gracious to them as necessary, but DO NOT EXPECT much in terms of mutual respect) WE OF FAITH ... DO KEEP GOD present ... and WHERE THERE IS BUT ONE OF FAITH IN GOD and GOD'S WAYS... GOD WILL NOT DESTROY life on earth. THOSE LACKING IN FAITH.... are immature and insecure... as kids are, they do 'THEIR OWN THING' (and one way or other... ARE ALWAYS STRUGGLING and NEVER COME TO THE TRUTH. (Well, by our prayers EVENTUALLY they will rise IN GRACE OF GOD.) YES.. SPIRITUAL MATURITY.

@SurvivingNarcissism 13 дней назад

You make so much sense.

@elizabethambielli610 12 дней назад

@@SurvivingNarcissism It took lots of praying. A priest I would talk to put it as this: we (the faithful) know and know that we know what we know. We want to trust all, but unfortunately 'it isn't heaven yet.' So God permits us to 'take the lumps' of human nature sometimes...that we come to know 'THE GOD' better. (its called cross carrying)

@mreous333 2 дня назад

You know there is a problem when you point out or complain about their behavior and they resort to panic and personal attacks - projecting their own behavior on you and blame-shifting because they have no accountability and nothing intelligent to say; none of which you resorted to doing.

@lyricmelody8162 18 дней назад

"Curiosity" is definitely a blessing. Give me a curious person anytime! 😏😊💖🌺

@lynndupree1205 6 дней назад

My narc husband needs my CONSTANT attention. Like a toddler. He loves to loudly gripe and bitch about things that don't work well, but he refuses to fix these things that can easily be fixed. If one attention grab tactic doesn't make me stop what I am doing and focus on him, he will switch to a new tactic. He will say he is sick, or someone is bothering him, or start complaining about his childhood, WHATEVER it takes to get my full attention. He sucks up all the air in the house. I am taking steps to get him out of my life but it's taking longer than I thought it would. When I asked for an adult conversation about a separation, he went ballistic. I see now that it will be brutal. I need to get ready for it.

@sarahstrong7174 9 дней назад

Basically Narcissists do not like any way that allows you to have any real choices. Most people like to have some options to choose from. It is part of being an individual.

@RN-gx7wt 16 дней назад

The constant reassurance of watching these video's dials also right into the problem of trying to save face, also when facing a certain reality might be reacting up as towards becoming depressed. By the way I'm describing the face of ... so careful what you are facing, if you constant need to verify what's good vs the in despicable which should be already known by yourself as an adult face it.

@MB-sg8dx 18 дней назад

THE WISE, THE FOOLISH AND THE EVIL, Henry Cloud😊

@denicewinders1521 15 дней назад

I have mad respect for you. I easily hear your perfect delivery of the facts. I would really love to hear you touch on narc sibling. Sister actually...the destruction of hearts, minds, self love trails in her wake. Very smart guy . Keep the content coming! 🙏💜

@downtherabbitshole 5 дней назад

Dear Doctor Carter, I would like to let you know that you have been my biggest mentor in my journey to understand and survive the wounds created by narcissistic individuals. In 2019, I was very young, heavily traumatized, and discarded. Your videos connected me to life, but shortly after, I found myself repeating the pattern because I did not seek professional help. Now, with much therapy, I am able to recognize my patterns, and I still feel the need to watch your videos frequently. Your face and voice are very comforting to me and many others around the world. Sometimes, I seek justice; I find myself obsessing over justice and find it hard to accept that the "mediocre con artist" is getting away with all the hurt he caused. Even though I know his life is empty, the condescending tone somehow stayed with me. Does it get better in time? How can I fully let go of these suffocating waves of despair and grief? I do not want to carry it with me my entire life. I am forever thankful to you.

@heidiuridge1584 15 дней назад

They want to drive you away..he is delusional but still trying to hurt me and he is my brother..obviously never really knew him it's heartbreaking

@yellowbird5411 16 дней назад

So many of us just want to avoid arguments and abuse, so we don't say anything and we try to stay pleasant and essentially non-responsive to the jabs and efforts to torture us. Some keep acting like everything's just fine. Especially from the many strangers that come across this person. In this way, the narcissist seldom gets put in their place or confronted with their behavior. It would be interesting to see how a narcissist would act if everyone who got abused or treated badly confronted them with their behavior and a mini-lecture. It might show them that their behavior is not bringing the results they wanted. When that happens, maybe they would stop, as it never would be productive. We should all try poisoning the well so the narcissist would stop trying to drink from it.

@melodysanquist4834 7 дней назад

This is exactly right! Thank you for the video ❤

@lynnschaeferle-zh4go 17 дней назад

I once asked for marriage counseling and got crickets. My dad once apologetically for “being hard on me”. It didn’t help much because the whole time growing up I was on eggshells. What the two narcissists have in common is a deep contempt for women. They hide it, because women are useful. I asked my therapist if he’d ever treat a narcissist. He reacted like he had stepped in dog do do. Yep

@disastrid 17 дней назад

My narc brother went to prison for possession and distribution of child sex abuse material. He and his wife say it was police overreach (even though he pled guilty). He's manipulated my parents into keeping it a secret. I haven't talked to him in 24 years but if I tell the rest of the family he's a sex offender then it hurts and shames my parents who are also his victims. The level of manipulation is incredible. I can't imagine him ever facing any of this. It's extremely sad.

@user-ly8ft2wb1c 17 дней назад

Sounding better Dr. C!

@heidiuridge1584 15 дней назад

Thank you for helping deal with these situations

@gracegorman642 16 дней назад

❤ So soothing. Thank you, Dr Les.

@snowbear1877 18 дней назад

Dr Carter is it possible for a person to be narcissistic towards one or two people only but not others? My sister is loving towards her children and grandchildren but has always abused me. I am her younger sister by 9 years. She has also used my mother (also a narcissist) and milked her for every cent. My mother was scared of her. In my family, it's a pecking order. I am right down at the bottom.

@stevenmorgan6164 17 дней назад

What a great video One of my all time favorites Thank you Dr Carter

@SurvivingNarcissism 17 дней назад

You're most welcome!

@rwdchannel2901 18 дней назад

The narcissist is so ridiculously contradictory, that just to disagree(To get narcissistic supply), the narcissist will say they respect their victim after the victim says 'You don't respect me.' An example of this would be the narcissist tells their victim that the victim's job is not a respectable job, but when the victim says 'You don't respect me', the narcissist will say 'I respect you, just not your job.'

@JesuisLord 17 дней назад

Spirit of pride

@amygerges6974 17 дней назад

So well stated

@benjaminbosley6169 16 дней назад

Thank you, Doctor.

@SurvivingNarcissism 16 дней назад

You are very welcome

@lorinapetranova2607 18 дней назад

Dr C... i hope your day is going well. So im wondering something. Are malignant narcissists capable of suicide? It's like there's no commentary on this anywhere. The Big Secret. Many blessings!

@t_nels 18 дней назад

This is a great question.

@davidparker5439 14 дней назад

It would be good my narcissistic wife talk to me. I have tried everything you can think off . She will talk to anyone except me .

@marybethmarlar 18 дней назад

Thank you!!!! ✨✝️🕊️💕🌷 God bless you.

@heidiuridge1584 15 дней назад

Caring for elderly parent they disappear

@heidiuridge1584 15 дней назад

Driven to no contract and even has lawyers involved because he did not get what he wanted

@AnneReimer 18 дней назад

There we have it team healthy.....hard wired and too scary of a place for them to go to😮

@curtis-ev9mo 18 дней назад

Thanks

@blue.5058 18 дней назад

Narcs will NEVER see what they need to see, they’ll only disguise it with self-serving BS meant to justify their own way of life. This is the case with my narc father. He has never been self-reflective, choosing to use BS he picked up reading some 70s or 80s self-help quackery. This was the case when he got into his narc rage with my wife when I had my stroke. Not only did he say, “I don’t care if he lives or dies!” (meaning me), calling my wife “delusional”, and going on some self-help book nonsense (obviously twisted to justify HIS actions) the whole time. This wouldn’t be so bad if weren’t already connected via cell phone at the time. Not only did I hear my narc father get into an argument with my wife, I also heard everything he said. I have since halted ALL communication with him, as I will not satiate his narc BS. He denies the whole to this day. He outright refuses to acknowledge what he said and did.

@globalheartwarming 17 дней назад

And if they have support for examining their fears? Can they get there eventually, even if it takes years of therapy? I'm thinking of how Carl Rogers worked. I think they won't face what they need to face because they _can't_ face it, because they are controlled by that fear, which developed early when they were subjected to control by parents who were not trustworthy and accepting of their complete real selves. All the things you mention that add up to foolishness are aspects of the left hemisphere of the brain not balanced by the right, where you find humility and conscience and the real self and truth seeking and access to the limbic system with true feeling. I think, or I hope, it is that they are unable to _access_ all that because of how they developed relationally, and I hope psychology and therapy can discover ways to help them -- or why they can't be helped, which I hope is not the absolute case. As always, I think your presentations are stellar, as is your devotion to helping people understand and live the examined life! So glad you're there. If it were possible for me to have a one-to-one real-time discussion of the above, I'd love to, since I keep wanting to work in some part of this field myself.

@user-sp4eh6vj8u 18 дней назад

You're 👍

@pugnasilvia943 18 дней назад

Aren't they actually sociopaths?

@donnawiseman3686 18 дней назад

I reckon, not happy unless thry are plotting or trying to manipulate. And the rage wow watch out

@t_nels 18 дней назад

From what I looked up every sociopath is a narcissist but not vice versa.

@TruthandJustice-hz9nv 13 дней назад

Thank you so much for this DR Le's, Absolutely tremendous, Learning is winning and I'm a lover of learning, I learn a lot from you DR Le's, You're truly a great bloke, I have up most respect for you, Peace, love and respect to you Gus and everyone, Thank you universe, All Glory to the most high, Jesus is king :-)

@thabomuso2575 18 дней назад

Good video as always but I wish to make a small correction on one of your statements. Socrate's statements wasn't made a millennia ago. It was 2 500 years ago.

@SurvivingNarcissism 18 дней назад

I didn't say a millennia ago, I didn't use "a."

@thabomuso2575 18 дней назад

@@SurvivingNarcissism ok

@gazoo7411 18 дней назад

Dr. C. nice shirt. Is that a St. Croix?

@SurvivingNarcissism 18 дней назад

Orvis

@craigstarjackson3026 16 дней назад

You can’t push a rope!

@siriastridkristensen4272 18 дней назад

⛲️🎉🌟

@myhalowithin 18 дней назад

@t_nels 🙏🫂 *said you could use a hug :)

@t_nels 18 дней назад

Thank you, this works. 🩷🌹

@aaronkwolfe 18 дней назад

Agreed. I am a regular at the “Give us this day our weekly hug” line after church. It is (edit to add: almost) enough.

@myhalowithin 18 дней назад

@@aaronkwolfe - Hello Aaron :) *Sufficiency* A very beautiful gift, and worth attaining. Just what we needed. Again, safe and continued smiles across the miles. 🙏