Never Argue Or Fight With A Narcissist…Do This Instead! | Dr. Les Carter (Surviving Narcissism)

Подписаться 145 тыс.

Просмотров 36 тыс.

50% 1

Watch full interview with Dr. Les Carter:
• How To Spot a Narcissi...
⚠ WELLNESS DISCLAIMER ⚠
Please be advised; the topics related to health and mental health in my content are for informational, discussion, and entertainment purposes only. The content is not financial advice. Always seek the advice of your health or mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your current condition. Never disregard professional advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard from your favorite creator, on social media, or shared within content you’ve consumed.
If you are in crisis or you think you may have an emergency, call your doctor or 911 immediately.
If you do not have a health professional who is able to assist you, use these resources to find help:
Emergency Medical Services-911
If the situation is potentially life-threatening, get immediate emergency assistance by calling 911, available 24 hours a day.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or suicideprevent....
SAMHSA addiction and mental health treatment Referral Helpline, 1-877-SAMHSA7 (1-877-726-4727) and www.samhsa.gov

Опубликовано:

16 сен 2024

Ссылка:

Скачать:

Готовим ссылку...

Добавить в:

Мой плейлист

Посмотреть позже

Комментарии : 132

@TheKidd-iy7mz 9 дней назад

The narcissist will treat the empath as if they are the narcissist," run

@janiced.hatcher1272 8 дней назад

100 thumbs up 👍

@davidcohen26 8 дней назад

An "empath" has the same wounds as a "narcissist" - they are pretty much the same... 👍

@clintstryder1131 6 дней назад

True story and I'm living proof! (20 years of torture)! Or better yet, should I say "I'm leaving proof". 3 yrs out and learning to live again! Good luck to all of you that are victims of narcs! ❤

@janiced.hatcher1272 5 дней назад

@@clintstryder1131 100 thumbs up

@denali1122 4 дня назад

💯

@paulcu130 10 дней назад

as long as you live with them, this will eventually fail. The only solution is get out. They will break you down if you are married to them.

@KimberleeMelissa 9 дней назад

or even in the same house!

@paulcu130 9 дней назад

@@KimberleeMelissa totally agree. They are like a shark. If you get in the water or into their world they will eat you alive. However, if you remove yourself from their world they then have no power over you and at that point they are no longer a shark, they are just another fish.

@robertaturk 8 дней назад

They will immediately start another attack. And never quit.

@paulcu130 8 дней назад

@@robertaturk actually their technique starts with an attack, maybe the silent treatment ( a famous piece of abuse). After days of you trying to determent why this silent time is happening, you just give up and say "will if you don't want to engage with me, I guess I'll just enjoy this quiet time." After a few more days pass they then turn the tables saying" I guess you don't want to fight for this relationship and that silents is your immature way of fixing things." Now it is your fault that the silent treatment lasted for weeks and started in the first place. No matter how much you try and defend it, you will be gas lit until your head spins. It was only later that I found out this is done deliberately to mentally destroy you all the while you are thinking "we" are fight for this relationship together. If you are in a relationship with with one of these people, ignore what the good doctor is saying in this video. Your only salvation is to get out. Trust me when I say get out and stay out.

@optimisticmindz2545 8 дней назад

They NEVER quit ask why?..Because I live with one and there relentless aggression never ends..it WILL take its toll on you if you unfortunately have to live with one…

@alexastirling4385 8 дней назад

My husband would say things to me and then days later deny it, or he would not tell me something and then insist that he had told me. I thought I was going crazy. I have lived for over 40 years with this man and lived a life of self doubt. I've recently started recording conversations and these recordings have proven that that I'm not crazy. After 42 years of "crazy" I'm moving out and starting a new life at age 70. My advise to anyone.... don't do what I did, don't put up with less than what you deserve, don't make excuses for their behaviour. I have reflected on my own contribution to the problem and realise that I'm a people pleaser because my mother was also a Narcissist and we were brought up to "keep the peace".

@Protectyourmindfromlies-c1w 6 дней назад

Very good analysis of what you endured. I am very happy for you that could eventually get out of it. Enjoy your new life and freedom to the most. Do not let him get you back to him. Your freedom and the sanity of your soul is the most precious thing you own. If you have children they must be very proud of you to have started over at 70. ❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤🎉❤

@LoveBeautyFun7 6 дней назад

❤❤❤

@julianagregori5888 6 дней назад

I wish you all the luck in the world. It is brave that you could read the situation and take action.

@suzanne4396 5 дней назад

Just turned 60, am doing the same!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉 Yay us!!!!

@catherineharcourt8592 5 дней назад

I left on my 62 birthday. Happy Birthday to me. I wasn’t living, l was just existing. Got a van, sold my house, now travelling. Day 7. Absolutely no plans, whew after years of holidays with a calendar and schedule all marked out on calendar. Was hard year as nearly 63, but going to find me and travel coast western Australia. Doesn’t matter what l do. For once l have options. Scary and exciting.

@tammyfitzgerald5336 10 дней назад

Emotional intelligence blow a narcissist away ✊🏾♌️♌️🙏🙌❤️

@AprilMears-j7q 5 дней назад

Absolutely spot on!! ❤😊

@Itsmeandiamok 10 дней назад

The movie “Gaslight” is not cheesy! Old, yes. Cheesy, no. I’m a big fan of Dr Carter, though. ☺️

@mylegacytransformed 5 дней назад

This!! Great movie to re-watch from time to time.

@sergeantfury785 8 дней назад

If they say what I said "was dumb", I politely ask, "Describe to me how that is dumb". Keep them talking and they will expose themselves to themselves.

@AhmadIzzatShahmierRosdi-gi1ug 9 дней назад

In conclusion,all negative people only will be trapped by their own behavior and their own attitudes only👹

@roberttruman8444 9 дней назад

I’ve noticed a few people in my life, like my mom, uncle, and oldest friend, would often confront me suddenly in a rushed, panicked way or make quick assumptions or conclusions about me, triggering defensiveness. It felt like they were trying to provoke me or put me down to get an easy win. Recognizing these patterns became easier once I identified the narcissistic behaviors around me. Now, I’m getting better at staying calm and not reacting, but when I don’t take the bait, they often switch to playing the victim or getting angry.

@Catsandnature-1234 9 дней назад

good point. they are trying to make yo feel that something I wrong with you and they don't want to notice what's goşng on..

@startingbrandnew3055 8 дней назад

Well, i've let a huge group of narcissists and their flying monkes mocking me, laughing at me, calling me an idiot behind my back and i just quietly walked away. But one day i calmly and politely shocked the s**t out of them by presenting very hard to swallow evidences that proved that they were ALL wrong when they laughed at me. Now they all feel like an idiot themselves. "Laugh now, cry later"...

@catherineharcourt8592 5 дней назад

Well done. I decided to become the CEO of my life, the boss of me. WOW l changed and never got upset, cause l was the boss of me, with everyone and everything.

@lorraineolivera24 5 дней назад

Sounds about right smh

@danarchambault8723 10 дней назад

They will never change , just get out , move far away , if you can , ditch the flying monkeys also

@janiced.hatcher1272 8 дней назад

100 thumbs up 👍

@vincecavedog3219 8 дней назад

Copy that! Done did

@DemocratsRPedos 8 дней назад

When you ignore them, you’ll drive them nuts. I lived with this narcissist, and I eventually just became apathetic to her nonsense. And one night walking thru the kitchen, she was screaming at me. I just kept walking, she attacked me. I mean a violent, full on attack. I wound up with a concussion. These people are evil.

@ElaineAnderson-y9r 6 дней назад

They are courageous when they can hit you from behind. Always have your own back literally around them. ❤

@rg-mi5hh 10 дней назад

Had to tell one lately that I was not going to argue with them. They continued to try to get me to argue. Finally just told them. That didn't phase them either. But when I pulled my phone up they got all quiet and left. Evidence.

@LeahIsHereNow 9 дней назад

They will tell you that they hate arguing and they don’t want to argue while arguing about every little thing you say. I didn’t realize that he was just getting narcissistic supply by pulling me into the argument. That’s why he says something and then Literally not even an hour later says he didn’t say it etc. He’s not losing his mind. He doesn’t have a bad memory. He’s trying to rope me into arguments. That is some twisted ish.

@janiced.hatcher1272 8 дней назад

100 thumbs up 👍

@brendadrew834 9 дней назад

The best way is to go "NO contact"! That disempowers them and empowers YOU! "knowledge is power"...self-empowerment!

@brenb7153 5 дней назад

Don’t give a response. They ll get bored with trying to confront you. A fight is what they want Don’t give it to them, deprive them of their sick game. Seem like you don’t care if even on the inside you”re fuming. Also don’t over do it with trying to show you don’t care, Narcissists are more in tune with that than you may realize. It taken me a while to learn how to deal with them because I’ve dealt with so many in my lifetime. It may take trial and error on learning how to fake that your not bothered, the best thing that happens is you actually start not to let it bother you, which is probably why it begins to work. Fake it tell you make it kind of thing.

@teresamcalister7096 День назад

Biggest lesson I learned: do respond : do not react.

@jodycasey6936 10 дней назад

In a perfect world, it would not be about taking anyone’s power away. It is never about taking down anyone for me. It would be about free to be. So having the freedom to live and be how you wish to be.

@MaryDunford 9 дней назад

Agreed. But they can't even comprehend equality, coexistence, and freedom. These can't exist, to them, at the same time.

@SheilaDay-k6q День назад

Staying with a narcissist is totally self-destructive. Being alone leaves lots of room for growth, developing interests and learning to love yourself.

@lindafolks 10 дней назад

Stand in your truth!! Disengage from their circular conversations only cause confusion with their gaslighting tactics! Their GT’s will only create a backdraft back on them!! 🙏❤️🕊⚖️

@janiced.hatcher1272 8 дней назад

Their conversations are a obticle course where they just throw things on the track, sticks, tire irons, a vicious dog, a piano another person or whatever is near by.

@theyellowshoe 10 дней назад

I've been saying "make an appointment on the 15th of next month", then I walk away.

@Molly_01-h7x 8 дней назад

My next encounter will be me saying "Why do you have be so mean? Can't you be nice?"

@Anne_W64 10 дней назад

My first ex came home from work one day and yelled at me for the dishes being stacked wrong in the drying rack. My response was confusion and quiet. He continued to yell at me for half an hour during which time I walked into the bedroom and laid on the bed and cried. At about the half hour point I got up and decided I couldn't live with this anymore and put a couple changes of clothes into a bag and walked past him towards the door. Then he got angry that I was leaving and slapped and pushed me around. I didn't leave - that day. Moral of the story is, when you leave be careful and safe. 🤍

@lynnebucher6537 10 дней назад

Glad you got out. I was engaged to a guy who'd come home and berate me like that. I planned my escape and moved out during the day while he was working. Boy was he surprised, and he bothered me for months after.

@Anne_W64 9 дней назад

@@lynnebucher6537 I'm glad you're out now too. We are worthy to receive all the love and respect we have to give.🌹

@MaryDunford 9 дней назад

Get a restraining order or talk to a lawyer. These people don't quit when you leave and he's already comfortable with physical violence. Keep evidence and back ups in safe places. Be careful and safe.

@Anne_W64 9 дней назад

@@MaryDunford It's so true that once that physical violence threshold has been crossed it's much easier for them to repeat that behaviour. I was a couple of years in that mess but that was all 30+ years ago for me. It's good advice about seeing a lawyer. I ended up needing to live in a Women's Crisis Shelter for a time. Most cities have them now and I found the women counselors there very helpful. They would even just listen to me on the phone at times. I hope this information helps someone. Please know you don't deserve abuse. God didn't create you for that. He wants you to live in peace. 🤍🌹

@Catsandnature-1234 9 дней назад

my ex husband used to say to me for dinner that . where I presentation of this pate?.I coked for him and ı arranged everything and ı was moving and he used to say ohh where is presentation??

@aaronfaucett6442 5 дней назад

My wife is a narcissist and I was able to end her argument by asking if she wanted a resolution or was just venting cause she's pissed off. She had to admit she was just venting

@maryann946 День назад

35 years being with him (married 25) I realize I don’t know him; he NEVER let me in.

@sloanmagnum5009 8 дней назад

-Differently- Thinking you can do or not do anything around a narcissist and expect a different result is wild. They don't respond any differently just because you respond differently. Their ultimate goal, no matter what is confrontation. You will never be treated better by reacting differently, you will only ever be treated worse because now you've caused the narcissist to have to change their normal routine of behavior. The only thing you can do is escape, cut off all communication, heal the best you can, become indifferent, and just move on however you do.

@Vgaf99 8 дней назад

Thank you! I Think you are right

@tbunnyshy1 9 дней назад

Exactly. The more we say, the more ammo and problems they have. There is no use to communicate in any way, especially if you have tried for DECADES. Time to move on. Ex-parents unfortunately.

@janiced.hatcher1272 8 дней назад

100 thumbs up 👍

@E4439Qv5 8 дней назад

Bye mom~ Don't let the door hit'cha where the good Lord split'cha! :)

@matthewwozniak9138 5 дней назад

The key is I want to be better than who I was before.

@TheCelestialhealer 9 дней назад

Delicate detachment❤Very wise advice. Thank you 🙏🏼

@ginkgo2021 8 дней назад

Once out of the relationship I recommend listening to “Brave” and “King of Anything” by Sara Bareilles might help to move on and set boundaries.

@joebegley3062 4 дня назад

Recording them is a great method of dealing with them, I tried it and it worked, for a little while. Smartphones make it so easy and convenient. They don't want to argue if you recorded their words. Try it.

@jessluck6583 9 дней назад

I love Dr. Carter so much. Lots of wisdom.

@bYtealiEnSzen 4 дня назад

Agreed. I am contending with an incredibly cruel narcissist that loves confrontation and is toxic as hell. She sabotages me whenever she can. I ignore her and just smile and walk away. It's been a process similar to taming a wild cat. I learned to keep my cool. Anything I say to her is simply a "matter of fact". There is no emotional content. She is an ugly, and cruel being. She's not going to change.

@builderpj 4 дня назад

I love effing with the narcissists in my life. Its hilarious

@reneestes2137 День назад

The ex has invalidated my for decades. I say this to him “your agreement isn’t necessary to make it true.” It ends his abuse.

@AprilMears-j7q 5 дней назад

"Crisis can create growth." Thank you!! 👍😊 I desperately needed to hear something like that. My parents are my narcissists. Constant criticism. For over 25 years. I want to be a better person because of what I've been through!

@katherinesmith9130 Час назад

No need trying to have a conversation. A miracle is the only thing that will bring about change

@Empathysuperpower 3 дня назад

Yes, I agree with their behaviors. I’ve had several coverts in my life and God exposed this evil 2-1/2 years ago to me. I’ve always seen it but never understood it. I’m a truth-teller and they hate that about me. 😃🙌🏻

@jerialice 2 дня назад

Yep walk away!

@GodBlessUsEveryone-yg8vf 7 дней назад

Appreciate Dr Carter's advice here. Thanks for having him as a guest.

@ShazWag 9 дней назад

Don't give oxygen to fire.

@surlif 9 дней назад

After decades, it is so hard. I feel like I am crazy. I act crazy. I need to look at the fact that I have made some progress. If I have made progress I can make more toward civility and dignity. It is going to take awareness, work, and practice.

@NumeroUnoYo 8 дней назад

Dr. Carter is 👑!!! He's helped me more than i can fathom or explain!!

@sleepyhollow3197 3 дня назад

God had changed thousands of hundreds so yes ..They can change..And Therapy too 😊

@Ursaminor31 9 дней назад

Les is the best

@canoedoc2390 9 дней назад

Saying “I am sorry that you feel that way” lets them know you don’t agree with them, but refuse to argue with them. Another approach is to say “I don’t think I’ll take that bait”. It may be necessary to repeat these phrases depending on the degree of antagonism being directed at you.

@petewagner2050 8 дней назад

I do what they do if they don’t want to converse, I just randomly change the subject in a goofy way, it drives them crazy…

@marycahill546 2 часа назад

If I consistently need to go into hiding in my own home to find peace, believe me I would not be living there much longer. Either let me have peace at home, or I will make a home where you are not present and I do have peace.

@spn4473 4 дня назад

It's okay to be emotional. That doesn't mean you're not dignified. There is nothing you can do to make matters worse. Run away from a narcissist if you can. This therapist is giving you a recipe for disaster. I'm a forensic psychologist and they NEVER change. Not a true narcissist.

@meleshenko3767 4 дня назад

??? Plenty of psychologists disagree with you. I’m one of them. It’s not OK to get emotional. They believe it’s their superpower - to push buttons, evidenced by the emotional response they elicit. This not only encourages, but rewards the abuse. As well, contrary to popular pseudoscience, narcissists can recover somewhat. It’s just exceptionally rare and (probably) never prompted by the well-meaning ’help’ of a victim. Yes, it’s best to back away from them, having taken precautions.

@loriw1189 10 дней назад

Go Dr C

@gfsfyfy426 10 дней назад

"You are not the father"

@GodBlessUsEveryone-yg8vf 7 дней назад

Thanks! Appreciate this timely advice!

@jodycasey6936 10 дней назад

Thanks!

@AprilMears-j7q 5 дней назад

Please tell me how to GET AWAY from my narcissistic parents. I'm chronically ill...... I truly believe it's from their constant criticism and gaslighting and just general meanness, if that's a word?! I'm an adult but I had to leave my job and apartment and come live with them. It's been hell on earth the past few years. I've always been the Truthteller in our family. And of course the scapegoat. I'm STUCK. My narc parents scare everyone away. I've literally lost friends. Boyfriends. A fiancee'. Therapists! Doctor's. People scatter when they have to deal with my parents and they've had to often because I've been sooo ill I've been in the ICU numerous times....bedridden....so how the heck do I leave?

@Roberta-l5r 9 дней назад

My narc husband in any disagreement now will threaten to end the marriage without hesitation

@roberttruman8444 9 дней назад

Is this since you discovered who he was and began to respond accordingly and call it out? It sounds like the kind of instant shut down attempt they make when they fail to deflect on their 50th attempt and start panicking that they're running out of options and starting to lose control of the situation. I've a few toxic relatives and friends and when they suddenly snap like this and try to do an emergency conversation shut down, I know that I'm getting better.

@ginkgo2021 8 дней назад

Hope you have an eye on the finances in case an abrupt discard is in the works.

@dianehelgaduncan4055 8 дней назад

Good! Start your planning!

@josephinestory9091 6 дней назад

Same here … it’s controlling in every way. After 50 years the last time he said “you’re mad, I can leave you anytime” I calmly answered “if that’s what you want I’ll help you pack”. I’d been counselled by psychologists for years to say this. Couldn’t believe it came out my mouth! SO, I calmly put all his stuff by his car and he drove away. Told everyone terrible things about me … and they saw right through him. Of course he soon had another victim, and now he has Alzheimers and not a friend in the world.

@billybobwombat2231 6 дней назад

My ex spewed out she wanted a separation, I calming looked around the room at my three daughters whom had by now all finished college and replied "ok , we can do that" , apparently this wasn't the response she expected, I next spent three years going through a painful divorce, I was he whom left the plantation and needed to be punished, I stayed in that marriage for my kids, I probably should have got out earlier, but I did , out for 13 years now, new life, new area, new wife and no narcs near us, I'm a contented man now 🙂🦘

@mac-ju5ot День назад

The sad fact is most other women didn't have my back.ive dine what I could for family.i can't be expected to do anymore. I'm so done

@incognito595 2 дня назад

LET ME SAY THIS ONE MORE TIME:YOUR ONLY HOPE IS ESCAPE. TURN AROUND, FIND THE DOOR, AND RUN. HE IS WRONG. THEY WILL NEVER CHANGE. EVER. PROBLEM SOLVED.

@user-co5yp2jr8n 9 дней назад

My friend keot saying hang up after our call, in a snotty tone. I asked to to not do that. I said you can hang up. I stopped being friends with her. Bye bye

@meleshenko3767 4 дня назад

Good call. It’s such a small thing but just reeks of narcissism. I did a similar disconnect from a friend. It reminded me of two dogs I used to have. A few times I caught the big dog with his wide open mouth around the head and neck of the Chihuahua. Not biting, just letting his real self show. I gave the Chihuahua away for safety.

@justinsane7832 8 дней назад

how do you defeat a narcissist? you break them.

@julietruesdell.371 6 дней назад

Thank you

@TheEmmochka 7 дней назад

I believe in my daughter 😢

@Drbob369 9 дней назад

Good work 😅

@mac-ju5ot День назад

I'm at my wits end . My is. Father didn't want me to be happy in life abd he underestimated my ability to work hard she dumped all his children I. Me to support.y sistercdiesbt drive a car.

@bartman231 6 дней назад

Sorry-this does not address situations where the narcissist has power to drag you in-such as divorce. The ability to walk away where you have equal power is easy. How do you defeat a powerful narcissist? You have no answer. You are at their will. Good to know-thanks.