NEVER DO THIS IN MARRIAGE | Biblical Womanhood, Traditional Wife & Marriage, HOMEMAKING 

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Really being close to God gives us wisdoms💓

Both of you have a BLESSED life

Learned something TODAY 💯🙆🏾‍♀️

I really enjoy listening to your view points 😊

Indeed, you reap what you sow!

what you’re saying is true I think that the women are referring or responding indirectly to the needs of the husband so if the man is always looking at a skinny girl and she knows that she’s not that size that could make her do exactly what you’re talking about. Don’t be soft on the men and their role in maintaining a relationship.

True..."I can't" is a major turn off.

Very good advice. I'm forwarding this to my young nieces.

Planting seeds... Thank you

You are the 1st female on you tube who has wisdom

Yess she knows what time it is

❤ sister you so educative

Spot on, Ms. Divine!

I'm proud of you getting the recognition you deserve

Very true! This is also toxic because then the husband isn't allowed to give compliments from his heart. His praise is being coerced. This adds a layer of confusion and conflict you the relationship. If a woman really does have problems she needs to work on it's better to acknowledge those honestly in the context of betterment and relationship growth. It's ok to say something like, "You know Darling, I don't feel healthy. I miss being fit and able to move easily. Could we please start a fun exercise routine together? I could use the support getting healthier."

That's true. Speaking from experience. My ex-wifes did this constantly ... while at the same time not accepting my compliments ... until one day, there was nothing attractive left in her.

Words are powerful and the spirit wold is listening and they drive those statements home

Absolutely!" Never put yourself down especially in front of your husband, and most likely he doesn't want to hear you putting yourself down especially when he has a beautiful angel in front of him. Men real men don't like that at all. My husband doesn't play or get down like that at all. Positive info 😊

Wow preach... in the times we are in hearing this is so refreshing in point...change of mindset

How about thinking that you can be comfortable enough to share your vulnerabilities? Especially after kids ... It's not always about fishing...

Interesting

Best advice I can give women in marriages: Say what you mean, mean what you say.

This lady is the truth! Rich wisdoms!

I hope sisters are watching this sister. Not only is it planting negative seeds but it's just uncomfortable. We wouldn't be with our women if we weren't attracted to them. That attraction is the the first thing that draws us in. Yes, we can remind our women of this now and then, but it would be great if you'll could remember this, too.

I definitely used to do this. Not because I was looking for compliments, but because I just found myself so unhappy with my appearance after my twins. He sat me down and explained to me that it was bothering him and he didn’t think those things about me and never wanted to think those things. He said if I was unhappy with how I looked he would support me and help in anyway he could. However, I needed to stop the negative talk, especially around him and my children. I’m thankful he sat me down.

From a guy's perspective, that's some great advice ladies don't do that sometimes you might not like the answer.

Ok. Noted.

Love this !!!

sometimes we do it because we feel this way honestly

Amen words have power be mindful of how you speak.

She's an attractive person..ur guest!

Yes and yes.

Love to hear this wisdom coming from a young women! Keep learning and speaking young lady!

Preach sister

OMG I never thought of it that way thanks for sharing this this really makes sense we should all be aware of doing things like that

So true. Are used to do that. Disastrous! Even when dating, never do this.

Totally agreed

Not only that but when my wife has done that. I told her not to talk bad about my wife.

It is wonderful to see black women practicing Christian Values in the relationship discussion..We Need those Values & Your Voices!!

Peach preacher👏👏👏

If you're feeling self conscious, you should be open and comunicate that to your partner. It's not fishing for compliments. Sometimes its just needing reassurance that I am loved and beautiful, especially growing up in trauma where I was not told that. It's healing to have my insecurities recognized and soothed.

Thank you. I have learn something ❤

Well... also... don't let yourself go either...

Yes, men tire of this... being baited for complements....

I learned not to self deprecate in general because people starting agreeing with me when I did it.

My ex would always do this. Made me question my standards and feel like I was settling.

So true

Very true

Preach

I agree

Marriage should be a place where our human shortfalls are accepted.

Yessssss!!!

I find myself doing this more often as I have a lot of issues on my own self esteem and trusting myself, when I fail at something especially if I fail my spouse, I spiral and go into this dizzying mindset of “you’re always going to fail, why should you bother, you’re only a burden” because of a few things that happened in my life within a few years before I met my spouse. I know it’s not right, and I’ve been working on it because I don’t want to hurt my marriage and want to be a strong mother for my kids. Something that doesn’t help though is my husband can be incredibly critical at times because of how he was raised and I won’t feel like his spouse, but more like a sibling being scolded or a child because of his choice of words or just how he speaks to me (he’s pointed out how he talks sometimes isn’t right and he’s working on that too). I’m struggling to build myself up so I can be the strong woman he’s told me he can see and so can see it too (he’s a wonderful man, I’m incredibly blessed, he’s not abusive, he has faults like I have my own, I’ve been in an abusive relationship before: never again.). I just want to know how I can build myself up as a wife and as a woman who doesn’t have a mother or really a mother figure to talk to (my mom died when I was 14) while filtering out negatives and holding my ground when I know I was right instead of buckling and learning to become strong.

I agree I am currently doing this with my husband and can’t seem to stop myself from doing this being 7 months pregnant and home alone with a toddler for hours I become desperate to seek some attention from him by mentioning my weight gain from the pregnancy.

True

It’s not healthy, but I trust that my husband is grounded enough in the truth that I am an image bearer, daughter of the kind. What’s going on that if I speak lies over myself out loud, he can’t refute that with truth in his own heart or even to me?

Dear sister, Please pray 🙏 all scripture,"Oh my God I trust in you, let me not be ashamed, let not mine enemies triumph over me.Psalm

Not just in marriage

accurate

Ladies: just stay single its soooo much easiee

You are two very beautiful sisters 🌞🤍❤️

This is so true but… Queens the mirror should tell you everyday that you are FLY and Please believe what you See‼️‼️

Facts

This was such a beautiful conversation! May I ask which platform you used to record this?

Thanks for this

Its called attention seeking behavior. Be careful of the type of attention you are seeking - you might just get what you deserve. I have trained my kids to never take the bait with anyone who speaks in this manner. they are definitely fishing...don't take the hook!

Ma'am, both of you are beautiful black women. I'll never call you fat or ugly, or anything to tear you down except for the fact that the top lady cares more about the label of being a mother, a wife...., but when she was talking about the husband not being a builder bear, like defending the man,I noticed that she had a hard time defending him. That's video of her saying something in defense of the husband is the only one I saw that she did. I don't want to bear false witness on her but I feel that she cares more for the label, and less for the man.

The fact that the focus is on not engaging in negative self talk not because is unhealthy for you, but because of your husband's perception is wild ngl 😐

Im gonna be honest.. I don't do this to fish for compliments. After having our baby, its been hard to get my body back. Dieting, excersing has always been a struggle. And I feel even worse when he looks at corn or Instagram. I think I'm just at the point where I need therapy because I am so negative on my body and I always have been since I was a child. I feel helpless and lost. The seed has been planted and it grew. He doesn't compliment me anymore and I got used it. And we are only 25.

😮 so very true!

Wow, that's just an amazing word

I don't fish for complement,But I don't allow self bashing in my home.

🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Wow, this happens far too much amongst our Goddesses. Just subscribed!!!

I used to work with a woman who said how fat she was every day. One day I saw her in the street and thought from a distance that she was a slim version of Heather, in fact, it was Heather! Proof that people will actually be influenced in terms of what they see by the awful names we call ourselves.

🔥🔥🔥🔥

❤❤❤❤ma'am I love your councils,you must be a real to someone very lucky to have you......❤❤❤❤You are amazing, your words are like food to my soul👏 🙀 😯 😮 ❤❤❤❤

Yes also some people even joke about themselves in a self deprecating way and it’s not healthy to do so. You may just say it’s a joke but our subconscious mind doesn’t know the difference.

wish i knew this before planting a whole farm loll im in my head like hold your tongue he's your man not your home girl

Wow so true!!!!

Ah, men do it too.... Generally the answer to that talk is: ok let's to for a walk and stop being patrons of McDonald's. It's natural to be like this and we are 1 with our spouse so it's natural to sometimes give off about our excess love handles. Not always fishing lol

My partner don't like when I speak bad about myself in his hearing , I do it looking for compliment, I guess that not the way to go

So good.

Yeah women need to know they are pretty and have the mindset and self love to be confident in themselves and as a women . Not media women but a real feminine women. We’re she is actually in her most joyful state (for me a Cristian women)

Your husband, if he has studied you the way he been told to do would notice your insecurities and hopefully speak some life into that area. It is not sowing a bad seed in your marriage unless something grows out of it. Sounds good though

My wife is so beautiful and often tells me that I'm fat. I ain't the one. Paying all of the bills and getting dissed after 32 years. "Hey, honey I'm going out for a pack of cigarettes." But, you don't smoke. Door slams as I walk out knowing that I closed out all of my/our accounts. Don't play.

If your husband is a gaslighting narcissist, I can see how that will plant a seed. However, if he is kind, loving and compassionate and loves his wife, he'll love and pray that devil out of you. I don't think it's that simple. But I agree words are powerful.

Agree

Come on

_Like if you agree that she needs a full course_

Narcacists fish for complements constantly

You are correct sister thank you. But I just really want you to be careful with using God’s holy name in vain by saying “omg” even if you only used it as an example it is not what we should do as Christian

Madness That happens when the man stops complimenting his wife. If she noticed that he stops then she will say things like that to get his attention. If he did not stop complementing her then she won't have the caused to say those things. Complements are a form of maintaining the marriage. If the husband say to the wife. "You are beautiful" first thing in the morning or during the day then she won't have to fish for a complement because she is assured from the beginning of the day. Men stop complementing their wife especially after child bearing.

Plus, what are you saying about your husband…he picked you?

I dislike the fishing , also I dislike the presentation of a problem but no willingness to put effort for solution.

Hah... truth.

In my long experience, the men console their woman. And it becomes she acts childish for attention, we give it, we get disrespected because she takes us for granted. And have this happen time after time.

Not trying to discredit but that doesnt really bother me. I see my wife at her best and worst and I dont really focus on the negative words.

Men don't even have these conversations