New Trump Bible Combines the Constitution, Pledge of Allegiance and Declaration of Independence 

The bible is no good book, take a look at skepticsannotatedbible if you need convincing. Also, the definite singular article is misplaced, it's a variable collection of texts, typically mistranslated and in endless editions curated by sectarian groups to fit their world view. Don't expect much.

And he does NOT own either of them!

Maybe he's counting all the Bibles the Gideon's left in his hotel? "I make use of everything our guests leave behind; Clothes hangars, pizza boxes, Bibles, hookers"

That's exactly what he meant. He also said/meant, "We need to make America prey again."

Oh the jokes! "did he just steal every bible he ever swore on" "could he sell as many as he's sworn on?"

Elegant.

That is one more passage than Trump has read.

❤ the truth

'"I go to church and I love God and I love my church," Trump boldly pronounced but in an interview on Bloomberg TV's "With All Due Respect." But he said the Bible was too personal to him to "get into specifics." "The Bible means a lot to me, but I don't want to get into specifics," Trump told Bloomberg’s Mark Halperin, refusing to list one or two favorite verses. Pressed again, Trump said the Bible was simply too personal to discuss publicly: "I wouldn't want to get into it because to me that's very personal. You know, when I talk about the Bible, it's very personal, so I don't want to get into verses." John Heilemann, searching for a workaround, then asked Trump if he considered himself "an Old Testament guy or a New Testament guy." "Probably equal," Trump answered matter-of-factly, explaining his inability to select just one: "The whole Bible is just incredible.”' ( www.salon.com/2015/08/27/watch_donald_trump_refuse_to_name_any_verses_in_his_favorite_book_the_bible/ ) I saw that clip of live TV at the time. 'There are six things the LORD hates, seven that are detestable to him: 17 haughty eyes, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, 18 a heart that devises wicked schemes, feet that are quick to rush into evil, 19 a false witness who pours out lies and a man who stirs up dissension among brothers.' -Proverbs 6:16-19 I'm autistic and struggle, face to face, with social cues and even I can't help but see he's a such a clear and obvious liar. Yours, a devout atheist.

Amen!

Devil was the Producer, sent a demon to shield him. Need the Winchester Bro's to go investigate

Proof of life on god

the same reason televangelists who raise funds for private jets aren't struck by lightning. it's all a scam.

❤ Love this!

Trump plays golf while America burns.

🍉🍔💥🔥🍗🛋🛏🗣💤👗👚🌍📺🦍🚪⬅️ YOUR ROOM

👴🏻🥃 ROBERT KENNEDY JR AND AARON ROGERS IN 24

@@paulyricca3881 I thought that was Kiefer Sutherland's show. And stop shouting.

@@ericminch Jackal´s unleashed

@@paulyricca3881You’re misinformed. Arron isn’t his chosen running mate.

This was so many covefes ago.

Ah, that was a different time. Joke from that era: “It is Mickey Mouse’s Birthday and he says he wants a Dan Quayle watch”

@@catseye1009 😂

@@catseye1009 I thougt of Minnie asking Micky if he and Daisy to keep it pg

👴🏻🥃 YOGA IS CRAP

I wonder if they left all the weird raunchy stuff in it, like that part where Saul commands David to collect 100 foreskins from the Philistines and the old over-achiever proudly returns with 200 foreskins. I just checked my King James Bible to be sure. Without kinky sex and gruesome violence, the Bible would probably fit on a single page after all....

@@paulyricca3881 Are you on bath salts? Your nonsense comments are plastered up and down this comment section.

Nah, that’s way more actual truth than Trump can survive without spontaneously bursting into flames.

LOL. 😆

"God came to me. Big God. Strong God. With tears in his eyes, saying: Sir, Sir..."

@@joachimschoder

That's like sprinkling keif on your weed when you roll a joint. You've got the bible, and then you want to sprinkle a concentrated, filtered, supercharged version of the bible on top.

In all fairness: Trump didn't do anything here. This Bible edition seems to have been around for quite some time (and not very well received), and this new endeavor is just an advertising campaign. Trump does what Trump always does: sell himself. And you have to admit: it's quite the clever grift. Take some texts that don't cost you anything, stick them in a cheaply produced but gaudy looking book, get a "conservative" religious and totally trustworthy hero to tell you it's the only edition among a million of a public-domain text that he endorses, and sell it for at least three times what it is worth, because you can be certain the people stupid enough to buy it won't do it for its contents. Sometimes I regret having a conscience. I could use the money.

👴🏻🥃 HELP LEO VARADKA BANISHED THE CROWN

@@PhilLesh69👴🏻🥃 HELP LEO VARADKA BANISHED THE CROWN

👴🏻🥃 HELP LEO VARADKA BANISHED THE CROWN

Given how 45 keeps top-secret documents, when he's not showing them off like Pokemon cards to impress some rando Australian billionaire with the relative capabilities of US and Russian nuclear boomer subs, I'd guess you'd be more likely to find them wadded-up around the book in place of packing peanuts.

I’m also a nurse. I stopped asking “who’s the president” during the Obama administration when a racist jerk patient answered “that f***** (racial slur)” I never asked that question again but I overhear my colleagues when they do. It got soooo much worse after the big orange turd got elected.

My sympathies.

You must work in a mental institution or serious rehab?

Wow, just WOW!

@@westwardHo- I mean, that's where Cult45 *should* be, but they're out here pissing on everything to claim it for 45 like rabid dogs if they so much as see 3 Skittles in rainbow-order.

4 things - also the Bible

King James bible; traditional American - being told what to think by an English king 🤨

Those three things are what scoundrels use to confuse superstitious and uneducated people.

He should also add his wedding vows so he can have the all in one oath breaking super book

He also doesn't understand what confidential means.

👴🏻🥃 SOOO HOWS YO MOTHER DOIN?

To be frank; most Christians in the USA couldn't name more than 4 or 5 of the diciples and they'd include Mark. Trump's the model of folk in the USA. 2 Corinthians 10:10

For most "christians" in America, being "christian" simply means "being white and having a victimhood complex"

and the only reason he knew that was because it was on the side of the building he was speaking in so he saw in while entering

He would burst in flames

​@@williamstroud5449I don't think fire wants the negative press of an association with Trump.

🥃👴🏻 YOGA IS CRAP

Yeah exactly the one book nobody wants or needs

Well, I'm not sure if you can call it a book, the indictment is less than 50 pages .... OH, now I see what you mean 🤣

It's a good joke, but DeSantis's "Don't Say Gay" bill was so vague that even Bibles and dictionaries were pulled.

wanna bet?

They can hold it close and say "we do not mix politics and religion. Wait a minute...".

You assume they can read... I think most only listen to whatever twaddle their extremist preacher shouts at them every Sunday.

It's such a worn out corporate profit making shortcut. Bask in Robbuns, Dunkin Donuts and Taco Bell tried to open stores where you could order from all three franchises in one place. You can probably still find a few at truck stops and in economically depressed parts of town.

None of them are interested in any of these.

👴🏻🥃 VOTE FOR BIG HAWK AND PHILLY DOM IN 24

👴🏻🥃 HELP LEO VARADKA BANISHED THE CROWN

👴🏻🥃 AWW SHUT UP

@@paulyricca3881keep pathetically trying to troll! It’s hilarious! 😂

🥃👴🏻 YOURE CORNY

👴🏻🥃 LIZZO AND 21 SAVAGE

He still sings god save the king… to himself.

Thank you for your service

Woof!

turn 59.99 upside-down ... 66.6S ... the Beast and the Snake ... just sayin'

$66.60 with tax

You are frigging HILARIOUS! 🤡 Sometimes I think Trump IS in fact the Antichrist. [My apologies to all the other Antichrists out there. ]

😂😂😂

comes to that with tax and shipping

I'd 100% watch that.

MTGilligan.

I just realized this idea is basically just Rocky & Bullwinkle and I like it exponentially more with Kamala & Dark Brandon as rocky and Bullwinkle Also give Pete Buttigeig a talking dog sidekick so we have a kickass Mr Peabody & Sherman in there... is it too on the nose to use Boris Epstein as Boris? Edit: Jordan Peele would likely be down to voice ol' Barry O'Bombs some for this, and if Stoned Biden doesn't have a magical negro pal it's gonna be unrealistic

@@thepolarphantasm2319 Dude if Boris is Boris, then Melania as Natasha is the "too on the nose" casting but I can't find any fault in it. There's an AI voice animated show I hear my boyfriend watch of Barry, Brandon, Cheeto & I think Little Rocket Man that sounds hilarious... If someone can make that, why can't we have the R&B reboot?

Nah, that would require acknowledging MTG.

Or Buybel

Kif! Go get me my Bibble, the documents to buy Greenland, Kim Jong Un's love letters, Rudy's report on Ukraine, and about 10 highly classified documents from the ballroom! I've got a lady to impress. Kif: *sighs*

Between the two of them, I'd bet 45 has less of a grip on Scripture than Master Shake.

I adore manatees (living in Florida), but even i have to admit that was a funny bit....

I haven't even finished this clip yet, paused to see the comments on the manatee joke. It took me out. 😂 I moghtve been thinking some jackal thoughts, but the love for Seth is too strong

🥃👴🏻 HAPPY ST PATTYS DAY BRING SOME JAMESON IRISH WHISKEY

I cracked up in public.

We're quiet in the back, fondly reminiscing about his give them some props joke that should have made the cut for the monologue, not relegated to _Surprise Inspection_

😂😂😂😂.....

🥃👴🏻 HI GRANDPA DO U HAVE A TV SET OR WATT?

Jackals know about the 6th Eyes wide Shut

Exactly it makes me mad that No one says that on news out loud !!!!

the issue is these people don't see it as pushing their religion into anything, they think its just 'fact' so should be the default in all aspects of life, in their minds its the people who argue against that totalitarianism that are forcing their views on others.

👴🏻🥃 YO MOTHER IS A SPAMBOT TROLL MEGATRON ASTRO BOY EIGHT MAN MEGATRON ROBO GEEK

@Lily-cx1vo That is only part of the story. The Reformation, the Puritans, the Mennonites, the Quakers, and even the Catholics, etc, etc are a part of the story. But the Colonies were set up for profit, by the Monarchy and the Merchants and Gentry who made it happen. The belief that our country was established *first & foremost* for "freedom of religion" is a HUGE part of the myth & propaganda we were all sold. God "gave" no one this land. God "saved" it for no one. It is just land, same as all the other land around the world. It is *not* a "promised land" Everyone needs to open our eyes and ears to hear the propaganda and ask why it is pushed on us.

I'm just trying to figure out how to get a pallet of these without paying for them so I can have a bonfire...I'll keep y'all updated

Vinyls can be Gold

There is actually no list of 10 Commandments in the Bible

@@russellmiles2861 family jewels is in there

🥃👴🏻 NOT ME I WAS IN MY PUB IN GOOD OLDE IRELAND

@@paulyricca3881 no you are building a bridge for free Scot

Love it 😊

👴🏻🥃 SOOO HOWS YO MOTHER DOIN?

@@anniehuckerby9281👴🏻🥃 AWW IRELAND 🇮🇪

I found a copy of the thornbirds beneath my TV after watching an episode of corrections. It was slightly unsettling.

@@Myron90 Maybe you can be friends

but not with the wasps

That's how Biden should jokingly describe his age, in multiples of scores of years lol

🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈⬅️CURTIS SLIWAS CATS IN 24

👴🏻🥃AWW SHUT UP

@@paulyricca3881 so who you working for?

👴🏻🥃 SOOO HOWS YO MOTHER DOIN?

😊😅😂

His only hope!

I mean he just won a reduction on his bond from $464 million down to $175 million, plus he got a ten-day extension, plus they lifted his ban from doing business in New York, sounds like he won the lottery to me

Plus his social media company just went public, increasing his net worth overnight by $7 billion, who needs a lottery with that kind of luck lol

💕🌎💕

You assume that anybody would actually open the book to read any of it. It only exists for pure "virtue" signaling.

🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈🐈⬅️ CURTIS SLIWAS CATS

👴🏻🥃 SOOO HOWS YO MOTHER DOIN?

And the *SOUND EFFECT!!!*

With a little - gold - cross on the top 🤓

🥃👴🏻 YOGA IS CRAP

@@paulyricca3881 sexy Yoga hmm

Every one of these documents can be had for free, online. Only the idiots will spend their money on this new grift.

MAGA trumpanzees aren't very bright..

if they could critically think they wouldn't have been Trump supporters

🥃👴🏻AWW SHUT UP

@@teunw7387exactly. If they had the reading comprehension skills to understand the moral code and guidelines for a free and just society laid out within those pages, and cared enough to actually read them, there’s no way they would be Trump supporters. Anyone who genuinely cares about the values of our constitution and amendments wouldn’t support Trump.

lol i wont search that, thanks for being the guinea pig.

@@chiguireespacialespecial 🤣🤣🤣 all I searched was "bible salesman" lmao

@@Sunny-ju1lr I has friend that used to sell encyclopedia good days lol

"Cancun" Cruz probably stumbled-upon it as he was publicly-liking incest porn and sent it over.

Trump's social media company just went public, increasing his net worth by $7 billion overnight. He just needs to hang on for 6 months which is when he can legally sell his shares of stock in the company to cash all that in, hence the bible joint business venture

he is the most greatest fake leader he has a chance, Putin is examining consequences

👴🏻🥃 YOURE A SPAMBOT

@@paulyricca3881 Says the pathetic spamming troll

I hope that's on Corrections!

Seriously?! Man, you sound like you're really fun at parties 😂🤣

@@jillians7112 well yeah, considering he know the difference between a lighter and a match so he can light more than 1 thing at a party

👴🏻🥃 U NEED A GIRL AND A JOB

👴🏻🥃 THE GUARDIAN ANGELS IS A JOKE

never be a Jackal the indoctrination the hand cans, and the hazing is al just frogs and fog, and their is a whip weep leash, first the mushroom test

I suppose the real version might be too complicated. Also, (and this is Seth’s fault, not Graphics) that’s a lighter, not a match.

If only they had the trial at Trump Tower...

For them, freedom means that THEY are free to do as they please (The rich) and give orders to the rest of us peasants to do as they say and think what we are told.

👴🏻🥃. THE GUARDIAN ANGELS IS A JOKE

Did you steal that joke from Stephen Colbert lol

I had to look this up. They say it is sticky due to "gold gilding" and added a link how to "break it in". But yeah, that book won't be used for studies.

Well for one he made a lot of effort to enable Dr. Biden to be able to continue teaching while being First Lady; that says a lot about how much he supports her and her professional career

JAJ has the voice but Seth has fully comprehended Trump's whole mental state and personality

I'm so old I remember when they used to advertise Bic lighters on TV promoting how long they lasted.

I think they'd actually fall through the bottom on the first decent, and his feet would hit the ground underneath because he's such a fat slimeball.

That is not good news. Not good news when anyone is experiencing that sort of thing.

Buden and Grest sound like the names of Old World cities in eastern Europe

All I got is Kamala Da 5 9