Nimesh Patel - Jokes for Quarantine (Full Special) | Stand Up Comedy

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Watch my previous special Lucky Lefty: • Nimesh Patel - Lucky L...
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Опубликовано:

14 мар 2020

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Комментарии : 1,9 тыс.

@Findingnimesh 4 года назад

Hey, thanks for watching this. If you enjoyed it, share it with a few friends. If you hated it, share it with the people you don't like. Punish them, you know? Hopefully when this is all over, I can come to your town and you can come love/hate me live. Until then, stay safe, do drugs, become better. Regards, San Patellegrino

@kartikeyapanwar 4 года назад

My town is Bangalore. Come here man!

@anweshaghosh8474 4 года назад

"Go outside while there's still an outside" Shit. 😣

@vontaygalaxy4120 4 года назад

you gotta come to austin bro!!! ill get 2 front row !!!

@reapergrim5324 4 года назад

Bhai tera statement @10:50 is reality now

@christianteplitzky2781 4 года назад

Come to Asbury Park homie. Everyone would love your shit here.

@cookinggrandma1 4 года назад

This flow, this delivery...it’s like hanging with a funny good friend after smoking a blunt

@carahartoon8313 4 года назад

Right?!

@xSIJUx 4 года назад

Reminds me of dave chappelle

@inline6-b586 4 года назад

Exactly!

@macofalltrades6396 3 года назад

Nailed it.

@apocalypse487 3 года назад

@@xSIJUx Dev Chappelle

@induhindus10 4 года назад

"Go outside before there's no outside to go to." And here we are in quarantine.

@Findingnimesh 4 года назад

Im ahead of my time.

@user-pv9my4gl9w 4 года назад

Just so there is an outside to go out to.

@harseetpanigrahi527 4 года назад

@@Findingnimesh whats ur venmo im paying you for this shit idc

@MBRMBR-no8jg 4 года назад

thank you , come again

@imaginarydrummer 4 года назад

I go outside, I just don't people.

@thinkinloud 3 года назад

That voice. The goofy laugh. The landing of the jokes. How's it that the Indian subcontinent has not yet woken up to this man

@amoolyanarayan2148 3 года назад

Right on...he's so edgy and so chill. It's sexy as hell

@hshshsjanaha308 3 года назад

@intempify he is 😂

@bombaclatttt 3 года назад

Bruh we right here.

@f_USAF-Lt.G 3 года назад

'Cause he's taken by a white girl (she's not sharing)

@saxenaakash19 3 года назад

Cause he's in a different time zone

@eggsyraso8991 4 года назад

Going through a breakup, cant stop thinking about anything but, but for 51 minutes and 7 seconds, i laughed my ass off 😂. Thank you, much needed, GET THIS MAN A NETFLIX SPECIAL

@OSCRGAR 3 года назад

If the person is worth it, FIGHT. FOR. YOUR. LOVE. If the person is not worth it. find someone new to HaB with and move on ASAP! Live your life, cuz they living theres ✌🏽

@whyucaremindyours9016 3 года назад

Hang in there.

@f_USAF-Lt.G 3 года назад

Or another turmeric latte... On the house.

@e.graceoldstoneroses9947 3 года назад

Sorry you're going through a heartbreak, but a Nimesh broke through your pain...and I'm so glad he did. Blessings to you.

@puckles7585 Год назад

Laughter is medicine

@rohan8631 3 года назад

Hey Nimesh, it was 2016 i think, me and a couple friends just walking around NY(my first time) looking for Kati Rolls and Artichoke Pizza and bumped into comedy Cellar (which is literally a fucking small cellar), and instantly recognized the bricks and the name from several other sets ive watched on youtube. we got a couple seats the follwing week and i was surprised to see an indian in the line-up. Gotta say you sounded nothing like i thought you would, and man you blew us away hard, and i remembered your name. Sitting here in Hyderabad, India, 4 years later just makes me happy to see you successful and kinda blowing up. Keep it going man!

@johnupadhyaya9626 2 года назад

Nimesh isn't like a regular stand up comic. He's like that one funny friend who tells mediocre stories of his life but in such an fun way. Love it!

@MJ.unplugged 4 года назад

Hasan, Aziz, Nimesh walk into a bar... 2 of them got Netflix spl, one of them got kicked out of Columbia

@abyslayer 3 года назад

Hasan and aziz are muslim...he's not.

@xxKuroKajixx 2 года назад

That was pretty hilarious ngl

@abyslayer 2 года назад

@FHRGP Isaracket By their names.

@prakashtiwari8003 2 года назад

Once he start abusing Hindus he will get his Netflix special.

@exterspecial 2 года назад

“two muslims and one hindu walk into a bar….” …it’s neither aziz, hasan, nor nimesh!

@ignacio5283 4 года назад

im an old spanish dude, and that was some clever funny stuff. its 7am on a saturday morning on my second cup of coffee, sitting by the kitchen table, and still that was some funny shit. no what i mean? hopefully ill get the chance to see you live one day. thanks Nimesh

@f_USAF-Lt.G 3 года назад

Personally, I hope by now your chance to see him has gotten closer. Unless you seen him since. Then imma b personally offended you didn't see this common and send him my way

@1ACL 3 года назад

Your Dunkin Donuts joke cracked me up. I'm a white lady. I went to India. The first morning at a hotel, I ordered coffee. The waiter brought tea. I figured, well, it's India after-all, and I like tea, too. Cool. Next morning I asked for tea, and dude brought coffee. You gotta love that style!

@blackmamba9950 Год назад

😂, we are sorry

@AZATHOTH_Z 11 месяцев назад

😂😂😂

@georgegri 4 года назад

My parents wanted me to be a doctor not a paramedic 😂😂😂

@MrEpiknation 4 года назад

why does his head not have a shadow

@raaga0023 4 года назад

WTF 😆

@ss_avsmt 4 года назад

penumbra

@patrickball3185 4 года назад

@@ss_avsmt coming in hot with the science!

@drsps3280 4 года назад

🤣

@SaintTrinianz 4 года назад

The lighting guy is a repressed assassin

@divyamurthy8859 4 года назад

Give this guy a Netflix special!!

@brucewayne4128 4 года назад

@J D Incel.

@MADOUT_VPS 4 года назад

Divya Murthy That would be a breath of fresh air

@ashchapmantv6792 4 года назад

Nah they will ask him to water it down fuck that

@notimportant3686 4 года назад

no, please don't.... there is already enough weak comedy out there

@crystalmasters8582 4 года назад

Not Important ...change your name buddy, it’s the problem here...surely. Cause he’s fire

@JasonMcAlpin 4 года назад

"go outside before there is no outside to go to..." bet you had no clue how prophetic that was...

@trovadorregio 4 года назад

that struck really hard...

@RishiintheAir 4 года назад

That already exists as a saying.

@e.graceoldstoneroses9947 3 года назад

Indeed!

@Quarker 3 года назад

"Quick, find us an Indian that can sing the Beatles" hahahahaha

@Findingnimesh 3 года назад

One of my favorites

@f_USAF-Lt.G 3 года назад

Yeah, but Bollywood ain't like WeGoUSA... Though, I think they inherited all the old special FX from the 50's monster movies. "Yeah, $6,000 for the hospital... Use these FX, they respect that in America."

@VARMOT123 3 года назад

Daniel Evans huh ?

@DearDextra 3 года назад

@@f_USAF-Lt.G wtf u on about son?

@edwardm3050 3 года назад

he got the mainstream dialect down dawg

@gautamsane1499 3 года назад

This guy doesn’t give a fuck about social media backlash and it’s so refreshing to hear his raw, unfiltered comedy. Yeah it may not be politically correct but it’s all in fun so just sit back and enjoy the humor for what it is. Thank you Nimesh bro keep it up!

@andrewheffel3565 4 года назад

It's very hard to be that funny for almost a whole hour. This guy is. A great way to have a few laughs while hiding at home.

@vonallen1646 3 года назад

I am a 50 yr Black woman from SF and LOVE your comedy

@TheDennisgrass 3 года назад

First logical statement of why anyone would like this guys comedy!

@matthewflandermeyer500 4 года назад

I work for a Patel who runs a liquor store, that joke hit me hard. 🤣

@blakewiley5304 4 года назад

"I'm going to pray to Allah that your son is gay" lol that's funny af! love your set!

@margasa7 3 года назад

Aren't Hindu people Buddists?

@blackpig52 3 года назад

@@margasa7 hindu and Buddhist are 2 different religions

@margasa7 3 года назад

@@blackpig52 ok. Thank you. I'm here to learn blackpig. I guess I will go for Hundu then. Since you didnt tell me the answer, but its for pedagogical reasons Im sure ;)...but today they're Muslim, right?

@margasa7 3 года назад

@Sensei Hooplah thank you, it's hard to keep up with Muslim conquest. Cheers.

@margasa7 3 года назад

@Sensei Hooplah example?... what is the Hindu God?

@willray0415 4 года назад

"2 wks ago, I found out exactly how much weed someone needs to smoke to have a asthma attack.....I had an asthma attack" 😂

@imaginarydrummer 4 года назад

If anything his high sounding voice just makes him funnier

@krystalborgman 3 года назад

🤔🤣🤣😆✌🌿🌿🌿☺️

@INOOT-INeedOneOfThose 4 года назад

27:31 Ooo girl, imma snag me a Sanjay tonight! 😂😂😂

@bobsingh5521 4 года назад

How bout a Bob Singh?

@Mostly-Sane 3 года назад

😂

@oatmealcookies916 3 года назад

Really appreciate you giving this away for free, I know it's hard to write all that material. I know you'll have a huge career.

@cheeseonyomama 3 года назад

The white struggle is hangovers and avoiding carbs Lmfaoooo

@justindurham4495 3 года назад

As opposed to the darker meliton content that must be so otfresive. How do you deal with it? Must be rough.

@sabrinastarks7868 3 года назад

@@justindurham4495 "darker meliton"......ummm...Yeah I'm concerned about the color of my off-brand excercise bike....the struggle is real!!!. But you lost me with "otfresive"...I got nothing.

@xxKuroKajixx 2 года назад

The white struggle is acne and blemishes on your skin…. I gotta black friend of mine who has BEAUTIFUL fucking skin and I am so jealous. Like hers is so clear and pretty and blemish free.

@PaulusTarsus3574 4 года назад

Yeah, Joe Rogan took me here. After investigating the full Columbia incident, I'm chuffed to say that the world has started to cut through the timid bullshit, and see Patel for what he really is, a dedicated and true comedian. Do you remember that word - 'comedian'? A person who tries their very best, to transport you away, to help you forget, (if that's what you need), for just one fuckin minute. This generation will fall on it's face if it can't laugh at itself. Well done Nimesh, from Ireland🇮🇪👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

@trevorlewis4056 4 года назад

Started watching this at 1 am thinking will probably just watch it for 5 mins..well my sleep cycle has taken a beating!

@michaelfogle1304 3 года назад

Just stumbled across this in my feed. Lots of "shock comedians" out there, where they just curse without context to get cheap laughs. Your comedy is "smart", very "smart". I'd rank you up there with Gaffigan, Birbiglia, and Demetri Martin. It's a real gift to be able to shift people's views on controversial subjects while making them laugh.

@parikshit804 4 года назад

boy, this material is great. kinda like dave chappelle, all chilled out and shit, making points.

@portlandgoose4727 4 года назад

lol thats a bit of a stretch. he's NOTHING like chappelle (aside from being laid back)

@Unz360 4 года назад

I thought the same thing 👍

@willk4783 3 года назад

Hes got the same cadence as chappelle in some of his jokes. “Im not gonna send you down the path to addiction... for free you better pay up this is america” sounded just like him

@clarencegarraway700 3 года назад

You are so very true

@TheDennisgrass 3 года назад

Your statement is like saying, "the light from stars is kinda like the light from our sun" Bringing it closer to home, "the light from the moon is kinda like the light from our sun"

@johnbires568 4 года назад

I'm crazy and hear voices.....here's your gun. The mall is down the block. Bravo!

@Sam-tu1dz 4 года назад

I wish you'd put some ads in... Really feel like I'm ripping a brother off

@hahasimp 4 года назад

Unfortunately, advertisers won't support his content :(

@ThePaintedHope 4 года назад

if you put an ad in stand-up..you ruin the flow

@violetinthesun1756 4 года назад

@@hahasimp we can, subscribe and share!

@krutikawadhwani3606 3 года назад

He put in some ads. :)

@flclub54 3 года назад

Oh... There's ads baby.

@37thraven 4 года назад

13:23 Gotta love that a dude accused of transphobia, educated me, a room of people and maybe you, about a legacy trans woman fighting a phobic hometown and a rapist, in a struggle we've barely heard about. And he said he's not an educational comedian ;)

@devjoshi8124 4 года назад

Really want to see Patel's Liquor now.

@yashs100 4 года назад

I literally found out about you 2 days ago and now you post an hour long set damn. And you're a Patel from Jersey!

@e.graceoldstoneroses9947 3 года назад

Me too. The Fates must be giving him the wave of Fame...hope he's got a surfboard handy, because I very much want him to ride this wave till he hits sand! And you can hit sand, Sir.

@paavampatti 4 года назад

"Do you like darts but need the danger of death!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣 That killed me.

@LukeyMia4 4 года назад

"Take one for the team like Jeff Epstein did." HAHAHA

@funvids5592 3 года назад

" This dudes going places" - Guantanamo. 😂😂😂

@Unworshipediety 4 года назад

I watched this entire thing, man. Well worth the time for anyone who's reading these comments.

@Findingnimesh 4 года назад

Thanks man!

@hitzncritzmobilegaming9988 4 года назад

I really enjoyed him except the heroin jokes that were closely similar to Chappelles.

@Unworshipediety 4 года назад

@@hitzncritzmobilegaming9988 I don't know bro, I'm not trying to get into _conspiracies_ on whom told a similar joke about whatever subject. If I started worrying about that then every comedian who told an _I was so high_ joke is a plagiarist. LOL, I think you'll find that some jokes just cover familiar ground, I mean drug jokes are usually about the *thing* that makes that drug terrible or relatable. So I wouldn't read to much into it, but hey that's just my opinion.

@Findingnimesh 4 года назад

@@hitzncritzmobilegaming9988 i consider it high praise that Chappelle and I are probably some of the only comics doing heroin material. It doesnt take a genius to see the discrepancy between how heroin and crack were treated differently, just someone who who is willing to look. Its painfully obvious.

@hitzncritzmobilegaming9988 4 года назад

@@Findingnimesh the fact that you commented back makes me like you even more on a personal level. Man that gay and black joke was hilarious and well crafted. Honestly one of my favorite jokes I've heard in a few years and I just watched half the just for laughs comics in Vancouver including Burr and your joke was better than his entire hour.

@jays0909 4 года назад

His joke about heroin being treated much different than crack in the 80’s. Facts

@ThePiitteri 3 года назад

Did I just enjoy one hour of comedy without ad every 10mins. Wow that was nice. So many good lines.

@saphired02 3 года назад

That Reagan joke flew over alot of head's.

@janamejayvinayjoshi8817 4 года назад

Criminally underrated. Where all the millions of views at?

@millennialyogi 4 года назад

"I'm gonna pray to Allah that your son is gay!" --Nimesh Patel 😂

@texwilliamson4692 3 года назад

Why am I just now hearing this? This is fucking dope.

@kenken1704 3 года назад

He grew up around Black people lol 😂 his voice is impeccable

@ratanaxis 4 года назад

This dude is my favorite comic right now. Binged watched all of his content on Instagram only to find out there is entire special on RU-vid. Gold of content.

@kylacecilialoves 4 года назад

Relatable. I feel like I’m there with an insightful, funny and honest friend.

@khuloodsirleem7416 4 года назад

Is anybody going to talk about his voice? I'm low key turned on while laughing my ass off. Excellent delivery and content. Just amazing!

@sabrinastarks7868 3 года назад

It changed IMMEDIATELY at the end...just sayin...lol

@loosecanon9 4 года назад

This is the first time I have heard your comedy show. By far you are one of the best on my list. Such cool delivery. Loved every minute of it. All my friends are hearing about you. Great job

@Kinect360 4 года назад

You've gained a new fan, never heard of you but the youtube algorithms brought me here! Very good set, netflix worthy!

@matjohn4092 4 года назад

The "old fashioned Reagan guy" joke is pretty funny.

@enzomthethwa5861 3 года назад

What a great show. So down to earth. I felt like I was right there with him.

@gabeysf 3 года назад

This cheered me up during a really tough week. Thanks, Nimesh

@nickrankovich 4 года назад

He brought 'Herb' back to the diss game! LMAO

@ssettev9361 3 года назад

I was like how old is he?? 🤣

@lee-roy4157 4 года назад

this mans is waay too funny we need more uploads Nimesh

@Ladystardragon 3 года назад

OMG... Love that you mentioned Edison, NJ... I'm moving there next month!! I am an aspiring comedian myself, as is my partner. I did notice on my internet search for housing, that there are a lot of Indian and other-type Asian stores and restaurants in that area. I also lived in Jersey City in the 2nd grade (1973?) So many of my relatives live in and around The Oranges... Blessings man, I love your comedy!!

@lvx5317 4 года назад

Jokes For Quarantine: "Go outside while there's still an outside to go to"

@joshuahelms5242 4 года назад

I have been on a binge of standup comics lately and this is easily top five i have watched this month! I hope you get around to Seattle after all of this man.

@Nostalgicmoviefeels 4 года назад

I actually died when the white guy passing them saying "look at these two computers" lmfao 20:50

@--s-- 4 года назад

snakezz101 R.I.P.

@vivek7690 4 года назад

But he dint knew how to even process that😂

@terryhammac8915 4 года назад

My parents wanted me to be a doctor not a paramedic! Lmao

@rocky5152 3 года назад

Nimesh is good, I like his chilled character and the jokes are relevant and pretty damn funny. Thank you for not being politically correct. Love it!

@f_USAF-Lt.G 3 года назад

I thought talking about the drug training wink was counted as politically correct, though. Oh, so I'm just old. It's cool.

@Blue-_-Jay 4 года назад

He touched his eyes in this special for the all of humanity in quarantine.

@screen571 4 года назад

First time seeing this comedian... I really like him. Funny , relatable , Interesting , current , urban. I feel like I'm listening to one of my witty friends. Definitely subscribing to his channel.

@elyk46 3 года назад

I have never paused a comedy special so many times to Google shit, omg.

@JidduVillarin 3 года назад

Go outside while there's still an outside... That hit hard man

@jasonsharkey2237 4 года назад

"Go outside before there is no outside to go to" Hit me really hard as I sit in quarantine.

@brownieboiii 4 года назад

100% passing the blunt to Nimesh

@Tricknologyinc 3 года назад

Thanks! We needed that!

@akankshajain1804 4 года назад

Too late to discover this gold, but I'm so proud I did.

@carrrexx7190 4 года назад

Like an Indian Jeff Goldblum on ludes.

@arnoldchand4144 4 года назад

this dudes a brown gem in the brown wave lmao, couldnt stop watching

@roxana5202 4 года назад

loved this! Thank you!

@ShiftyBravo 3 года назад

Needed this today. Thank you!

@abhJOKA 4 года назад

AKAASH GOT COMPETITIONNNNNN this is good for the comedy scene.

@Findingnimesh 4 года назад

Thats my brother

@anthonysellsit 4 года назад

@nimeshpatel you tour with eachother ?

@inline6-b586 4 года назад

I think Nimesh is better! He going places!

@sapowoman 3 года назад

@@inline6-b586 yeah, Guantanamo 🤣

@christinebrowne1756 4 года назад

Jailbait jitney!🤣🤣

@MrLakers92 4 года назад

I screamed

@merrilew 3 года назад

Loved this; thank you!

@notmine123 4 года назад

This was much needed today! Thank you Keep it up

@DustyPetals 4 года назад

It feels wrong to not be paying premium for this.

@Findingnimesh 4 года назад

Im also on venmo

@monkeypolicd 4 года назад

@@Findingnimesh bruh i got u.

@souslicer 4 года назад

@@monkeypolicd thats his sister. they got the same last name. dont fall for this shit

@tarubewildin6931 4 года назад

souslicer u stoopid

@porscheoscar 4 года назад

@@souslicer I see what you did there.

@8911mave 4 года назад

This is such a fresh set of jokes. Keep it up Nimesh, you going places.

@felixndayisdebologne9725 3 года назад

Guantanamo 😇😇😇

@adityakavangal1352 Год назад

@@felixndayisdebologne9725 he he he

@funkyhse 3 года назад

loved your set, hope there's more to come :)

@binoj1967 3 года назад

That was brilliant bro!!! Thank you!!🙏🏾

@schadowolf 4 года назад

Hilarious show, glad it came up on RU-vid. You are great and thanks for sharing during these crazy times!

@satenkun 4 года назад

The yoga thing hit me pretty hard man! 😂 😂

@saumma0069 3 года назад

"Corona had your back" the whole perspective has changed lol

@vinaynarayan 3 года назад

"How you gonna be racist and not racist at the same time" Legend in the making

@bullacademy 4 года назад

"Go outside before there's no outside to go to" - Prophet

@creamnall 4 года назад

Ye that part hit home bro

@jessicapeng6270 4 года назад

LMAOOOOO i go to columbia and i love this guys jokes

@rajkishore95 4 года назад

You look very pretty.

@prithvi24 4 года назад

Haha were you there when Nimesh visited??

@eJohndoe 4 года назад

@@rajkishore95 Thanks

@Quantum_GirlE 3 года назад

Funny thing is, there's a Patel Liquor store, right down my block. ;)

@stephenajit890 3 года назад

Feels like some of his material is inspired from Chappelle. Nimesh is fun to watch. Period😂

@will9001asd 4 года назад

Hilarious! Totally worth the time to watch the whole thing!

@charminarchaupal 4 года назад

Look at these two computers I don't even know how to PROCESS that one😆😆😆

@macofalltrades6396 3 года назад

Nimesh is one of the funniest people I have seen in many years. Keep up the rude, my man. Outstanding stuff.

@souravyadav7162 4 года назад

You took a old white lady out, so you're going to bring one back 😂😂😂😂

@ThatBrickChic 4 года назад

Why doesn’t this guys shadow have a head though?

@nomadbynature8811 4 года назад

Whoa.

@thecreator9913 4 года назад

He's from the underworld 😂

@charlesbell5500 4 года назад

It's because there are multiple light sources in the room, and one is lighting up part of the shadow that the other creates. There are actually 3 shadows, and they create like a venn diagram of sorts. I only know that because I'm an artist and I notice these sorts of things.

@kanishkasinha4006 4 года назад

Dude we Indians have headless shadows 🤷🏾‍♂ true story

@nepatriots11 4 года назад

He has light head...

@Metaris 3 года назад

The way you said "Elizabeth Warren" made me choke on my laughter. Man, that was gold.

@songzandwatnot Год назад

So happy you’ve blown up bro, I’m buying tickets asap

@douglasharley2440 4 года назад

this dude is the funniest comedian i've seen in a LONG time! it's like bill hicks was reincarnated as an indian stand-up comic...which actually sounds like a dope sitcom.

@nitishsaxena1372 4 года назад

That was great, man. You deserve a special on Netflix or something

@rxagarwal 3 года назад

One of the funniest stand up. Great delivery and one liners. Loved it.

@bonniehogabaeff1432 4 года назад

Thank you for this. It helped me get through the boredom of putting together about 80 out of the 200 slides of data for a report I am doing. That was one of the most Asian things I've ever said.