No Woman Should Settle For A 50/50 Relationship 

Women, if your man can not fully support you, he can not support a family. When women have children, the risk of poverty INCREASES. We can love a man for his good heart but he needs to be making money as well.

My grandfather, God rest his soul,has always said if a man is trying to make you go 50-50 something is wrong with him. There’s no such thing.

For as long as a man cannot help me carry, deliver, or feed a baby 50/50 then he will not touch my pockets. A man provides and that’s his 50

The 50/50 guy isn't even 50/50, and this is why women are opting out. This man said his girl provides, cooks, and cleans. That is more like 25/75. That is not sustainable. She will eventually grow to resent him or lose respect for him. I don't know if they have kids, but I hope they do not as that will be more on her plate. Too many women now are saying when they lose their partner they have LESS work and LESS stress. That should NOT be happening. That doesn't even make sense. An additional adult in the home should ALWAYS be more beneficial. Ridiculous. I would dump this guy so fast. I'm not going to cook, clean, and work if he isn't doing it too.

We have COMPLETELY lost the original design for male and female marriage. God's design states that men and women are inherently equal in VALUE, but are wildly different in nature. There is EQUITY in romantic relationships between men and women. If not, the polarity will be off. God made a man physically STRONGER than a woman on the outside. God made a woman emotionally STRONGER than a man on the inside. Women bear children and feed them from our bodies. A man can't go "50-50" on that!! And yet, men want to see their wife working while PREGNANT until delivery. Absolutely ridiculous! And what most families don't understand is the CHILDREN will suffer the most!! Mom is stressed out working and keeping up the home; Dad is stressed out working, and the children are being raised by a Iphone and a Ipad.🙄 We must do better! We must learn to live within our means. And focus on being HAPPY and HEALTHY and FULFILLED in our souls. Stop "chasing stuff" and someone else's Instagram dreams. It CAN be done. You BOTH have to be committed to it and to your family.

Bravo young man. You have the values of a healthy masculine man. Our community would be on par with other ethnic groups if the majority of BM shared your values. I wish you and your channel much success.

My father didn’t work. We struggled and even after she passed he still didn’t work. I had to work at 14 the youngest. He put all the responsibility on me. He sat on his butt and collected welfare and section 8 and SSI. If I didn’t work I wouldn’t have had things or ate. I had to take care of the house. He was never a provider. I lived with a guy when I was younger and his salary was less than 50k and I didn’t squander his money. It was enough but I didn’t have a lot and I’m a minimalist. I know how to stretch a dollar.

A wife is a helpmate not a roommate. A wife can work if it benefits the family and they agree to that structure. Some see 50/50 literally and if she doesn’t have her half it’s a problem. I know of couples losing themselves in that 50/50 situation where the woman is broke financially, breaking emotionally and physically because she has to have her 50% on the bills, take care if the children, house and man while just work and comes home to relax while building his savings. A man should not gain at the expense of his woman, a husband should further Yah’s purpose for his family with his family.

Thats why I stay childless. I cannot imagine working while pregnant and I work as a Massage Therapist. Im constantly standing and reaching over and lifting limbs and stretching people. I refuse!

If a man can't pay the bills in his house to survive without the help of a woman he should not be dating.

The first thing that makes that guy not a man, is his weak attitude. He seems like he’s setting for $14 an hour. What kind of job are you working that is only paying that? How are you taking care of yourself? Don’t you want more for yourself? He’s looking for a woman to carry him.

The lack of ambition and strategy is the issue. Women do not like lazy minded men who are content with mediocrity. Our eyes are open.

I don’t give passes to any man for not providing 100%. I do it as a divorced mom. I have a mortgage, my son just graduated private school where I paid all of his tuition and is now in college, and I have a daughter who has been in cheer and gymnastics since she was 3. I also started a side business and travel frequently. There is no excuse a man can tell me. I now only date men who have provider mentalities.

Absolutely 100/100 but I'm heartbroken right now. I carried my husband through 3 years of his masters, passed all his classes, never asked for anything except for help around the house, never asked for money or jewelry because i work full time and support myself AND help him pay bills. And he never helped. I cooked, cleaned, did his school work, and he never lifted a finger except to go to work himself. Mistakenly i thought he'd change and now I'm pregnant and it's just as bad. I was not going to keep this baby but i chose to, and i have no support from him. Pray for me please. My heart breaks for my baby, not even for myself.

the issue is, there are too many people trying to place a “one size fits all “ rule on every relationship, when a marriage is about 2 people making it work by their own standards. 100/100 is fair and doable and u still end up paying less than you did in the single life.

Shouldn’t be dating if you making $14.00 hr need to be focusing on creating a better future

How you are raised really determines how independent you’ll be. Most of the black men I was raised around are financially irresponsible. They been coddled there whole life, now as grown men making enough money, paying bills, good credit, managing finances, getting approved for a car loan, house loan, or even for an apartment seems impossible on their own. I don’t even make six figures n I’m secure financially n got my own n live comfortably. A lot of men make excuses n argue about the average man salary statistically isn’t enough because they don’t know how to manage their money. Some one I know into gambling. he work making atleast 30 something hourly n collect a veterans check, he hit big & won 30,000$ one time n that money was gon in a month. How do you have your reg monthly income +an extra veterans check n still blow 30,000$ in a month. W Nothing to show for it. No new investment nothing.

Great video!!! Marriage is and always has been 100/100. Meaning both ppl should be giving it their all. There will be times where the man is down and the woman will be up and vice versa…. With that said…. A baby carrying, child birthing, breast feeding woman should not go 50/50 financially with a man❗️Itll never be equal

I come from a single father household where he provides and takes care of me so I'm offended if a man ask me for money. I like providers I don't like men who expect me to pay for anything so if he expects me to pay bills or for dates, it's a wrap for me because that's not what I'm used to and I believe it's a man's job to fully provide and be masculine.

He doesn't understand that nobody is saying he doesn't deserve love, but he is not ready for a serious relationship let alone a marriage.

I’d like to point out that Tony Gaskins wife did not work when they were married because her baby was in the ICU and she stayed home with him when he got out. Tony was making peanuts but she kept a smile on her face and spoke life into him and encouraged him to stick to his purpose even when he wasn’t sure if he wanted to keep going with it. He said she hasn’t worked since she was 19.

Thank you for saying that. Owning a business isn’t for everyone but you can have a good job.

If you can't give me 100%. I don't need you in my life... It doesn't matter if you are a friend, cousin, husband, children, parents, and so on... I'm giving my all!

Finally someone mentions the Proverbs 31 woman. She had JOBS!!! This was such a good teaching. You are growing in your ministry. I have followed you from the start. I’m so proud of you brother. All the way from UK 🇬🇧

I just confronted my husband on this yesterday. I’ve been paying 80% of the bills for the past 2 years. I’m tired.

I like how he started this conversation saying that this is for *MARRIED* people. Bc most of the complaints come from people who want to co-habitate. A lot of men (understandably) do not want to be a sole provider for a girlfriend who can leave at any type with no real commitment. It also makes sense that a man who is making $15/hr shouldn’t even think about marriage until he can provide for his family. Great, direct points!

Honestly there is an entire population of men who want to be the head of a house they don't fund and don't provide for. I don't know why they just don't stay single if they are upset for having to do that protect and provide stuff they keep yelling about. Don't get married but don't discourage the man who actually wants to lead his family and that can only start with character cause you'll lose a home that you resent. You shouldn't expect a woman to pay half the bills but do all the domestic responsibilities and all the raising of the children. That's an unfair and selfish request. If you actually care about the people in your house both of you will do what is necessary to make sure EVERYONE in the house is good. The problem is people unfortunately want to have a spouse and children while only doing what is best for themselves.

This is a good conversation. At $14 an hr you need to be single and not trying to look a woman, build yourself up and let the woman know what you are about. I would love to relax but my nature is not like that so I am always up to working especially just in case. I am glad you spoke on entrepreneurship because we have can't all be business owners, who gonna work for us? What is your business because too many young folks out here competing with there 10 friends in the same market, who will support you?

Alot of these guys getting upset about splitting responsibilities was moreso raised in a single mother home where their mother did it all and spoiled them because the father was not around. So they grow up keeping that mentality of a woman should be helping them and not it being their sole responsibility to support. America has really done a number on us as black folks.

Shumake came THROUGH with this one‼️

It should always be 100/100

I overheard my dad say once in conversation with someone that he would work 3 jobs to take pressure off of his wife. I believe the goal for real husbands is to be the sole provider of his family. However, there are times were he may need his wife (aka helpmate) to assist financially...and there's nothing wrong with that. Its up to the two of them to plan future financial goals together. Lastly, its so important that if a woman does not have to work, per her husband's ability or request, that she is debt-free. The husband should not have to break his back for baggage that he didn't create prior to the marriage.

April 25th is my anniversary with my wonderful husband 💞

I like this guy. Great video full of basic wisdom.

Fun Fact: ordered sea moss from the man in the red track suit in 2017….still waiting for my package in 2023😮

I 💯% Agree with EVERYTHING You Just Said ❤️ Money is the main reason why a lot of marriages end. I'm so glad you done this video because it is so relevant to the success and tenure of a marriage.

Not in the Muslim religion the man is obligated to take care of the family it’s no obligation at all for women to pay any bill that’s is 100% on him

Even if you don’t start a business, you can go back to school, learn a trade. If you comfortable then you going to be where you are.

The people that want success will proceed accordingly. 😊

What is Soooo difficult to UNDERSTAND that mean need to STOP being lazy ... and get their skills, training, and Money up ... if you can't do it with 1 job ... then your @ss needs ANOTHER JOB ... PERIODT

I love how you support you wife’s vision and dreams! Cause some men these days don’t want to see their woman grow. If a man can’t support my vision or dreams then he is not the one for me! Thank you so much

I would not like to add that a man shouldn’t date until he is ready to marry. You don’t date then work to get a better job and have the lady on hold and in fornication.. The man should work and get the good paying job then go find the woman to date. A woman should also be prepared to be a wife before she starts dating No one is perfect but just pointing out what is correct.

Your first opinion about not getting married if you know y’all gone be in survival mode. That’s a whole sermon. Much respect

All the women have awoken here and are on that godly tip ! Calling men to greatness, step up and provide !

A man that bows to and initiates to 50_50 is a killer in disguise.

If both people truly love each other, there will be no lies, it won't be necessary. Because they understand and help each other. Nobody feels exploited, lied to, or hurt. This is why God's way is always the best. And God loves and helps everybody. A relationship should uplift you, not exhaust you!

The bible speaks on a woman that has to take care of her husband. It says she's gonna be pissed and annoying. Sirach 25:22 22 A woman, if she maintain her husband, is full of anger, impudence, and much reproach. So, even the bible says for males to not be bum broke males screaming for submission while also screaming for his girl to let him "hold something".🙄

It's like Jesus saying he has gone to "prepare a place" for his bride(the church)❤❤

This man is fucking wise beyond his years. Fantastic.

My mom worked in the beginning as well but was able to retire very early because my Dad was eventually more than able to cover everything. They're my example because I see how fulfilled they are in their roles.

The most uncomfortable and unmentioned part of this conversation is “class “within our community. For some reason we don’t want to discuss class differences and in different classes the families function in different ways. Not everyone is meant to be an entrepreneur and not everyone is meant to be a worker bee, so the rules of Providence are a little different for each man and his family and also that word class whether it’s upper middle-class, wealthy class, lower middle-class, poverty line, etc. have a different set of rules

My parents own a daycare. I see what they have to go through. It’s not easy.

Appreciate your content, you don't fail!

Glad u said that

When you said 86k a year, I was like 👀👀👀 😂 Then you said a truck driver and I'm a truck driver too. I'm a female though. Looking to get out soon so I can have a normal life.

@2:18 you confirmed that I’m not crazy in staying single until it’s right. There are men out here who will push a woman for a relationship/marriage and know they are not ready emotionally, mentally or financially…but don’t want to “lose” her so they act prematurely and rush into something they’re not ready for. Then once in that strained relationship they end up having those inevitable problems anyway.

Not married but im still going to watch this ❤ thank youu 😅

Mr Shumake got that “ I don’t want to hear that ish” glare. lol Much respect to you and your wife. Keep doing the Lords work

People needs to start reading Proverbs 31 from verse 1 Why because it convicts most men and makes them uncomfortable 🎉🎉

You got wisdom bother 🗽

love this message, great video!! We need to hear this message in today's time.

Love the scripture references! 🙌🏽 The Bible is the answer to literally everything! That’s why I will continue to work during my marriage as well whether it be working from home or just part time. I want to save money for the household but I totally believe in the husband providing the overhead expenses so wife can cater to her man in the areas it matters most!

I NEVERRRR had a man tell me to help lead, provide and produce results... Can we admit that men have male privilege? I come fom a different era, THE MAN PROVIDES‼️ THE WOMAN takes care of the man and the household that the man provides. These conversations are foreign because granddaddy and the men in my family PROVIDES‼️

One problem is so many men once they make substantial money don’t want to spend it on a family but out at the club chasing very young girls.

Brother, you are preaching. Salute.

I dedicate 160 hours every two weeks to my job, doing my utmost to support my family. My wife contributes significantly too Together, we combine our efforts to tackle life's challenges, giving it our all, 100%. That's our way of living. I don't subscribe to the idea of having multiple spouses; it's not for me and I don't find it supported in the Bible. Everyone has their own beliefs, but this is mine.

Tony Gaskins wife may not work a job but she works. He often speaks on how exhausted she is running her home and resting the children. It’s not all about cushion. Yes they have resources but she works and she’s paid a salary and I believe last year or so he gifted her 60k for her birthday as a gift! I don’t want people thinking just because you don’t clock in means you are not working ALL DAY. make sure in your relationship y’all are are in agreeable that staying home is work or y’all will be battling the invisible man. Make sure y’all are talking about the same thing! RC Blake’s wife prolly is living a bit more leauirley because they are older and prolly have older grown children at this point.

Virtuous, modesty, humbled ❤❤ 🙌🏾🌺

I think that living together should stop.

When I met my partner he told me he’d only do a 50/50 relationship/marriage because he was the sole provider when he was married and his finances were abused. I’m fine with 50/50 because I like security and my career is fun. We’ve been together officially for 5 months (we met in March this year) and he recently told me he wants to retire me when we marry. I asked why and he said it’s because he studied me and knows that whatever he hands me I’ll return tenfold or better. I want the world for him and he wants to fight the world for me. It’s cute.

I couldn't submit to a 50/50 guy.

Amen..my spouse heard this..and truly agreed

Excuse me but when did the conversation become about women and not the accountability of men! The proverbs woman are many of us who don’t have a husband! You don’t have to be married to be a proverb woman

These people don't live in reality. They flap their gums online for likes. This channel (Shumake) actually lives in reality. Most of us live in reality. If someone is planning their lives based off fake RU-vidrs and Podcasters - please do not marry them lol..

Love listening keep up the good work🙏❤️

Sorry but if you cant fully provide for your household as a man you have no business dating, getting married or trying to be with anyone of the opposite sex. I been married twice and i would be damned if they asked that. We divorced, yes, but finances we're not our issue. To your point, the proverbs 31 woman is a very productive person in every regard...but it also sounds like she has help at home and isnt doing 100% of it by herself, which a lot of men overlook in that passage.

Its easier for men to make a good living. Women usually need to be highly skilled or educated.

This the men to run from. She working cooking cleaning got 3 jobs he got one. 8 hrs n come home to b a couch potatoe...then wonder y it's always a fight, n y she eventually left...she ain't wanna b ur man she wanted u to be hers.

$14 an hour, he can’t take care of himself. Man or woman, you have to be able to take care of yourself before you even get a dog or cat, let alone a life partner and family. FYI, I made more than my husband at first. We decided to SAVE 50% so when we were ready to start our family we could have one parent stay home (if that was what we decided) without a change in lifestyle.

Everybody shows up 100%. Whatever that means in YOUR marriage.

I made so many mistakes and I’m learning. First never ignore a red flag, 2nd you can’t change a man or even try to help him. He has to come already together. As a woman I promise myself I am not settling and before I even decide to be in a relationship which hopefully should lead to marriage. I’m make sure I’m all the way correct so I have the right to be picky.

I wish you had a podcast that i coudl just listen to whiel reading

Excellent

So many people in these comments still missing the depth and true meaning of the message. God bless yall.

I appreciate that your perspective seems to come from a very level-headed place rooted in the gospel. You are doing Gods work helping his children navigate relationships in these crazy times. God bless you and your family.

I can’t take advice from a man who has multiple wives

That’s the problem of today too many ppl are unrealistic in the way they think.

If you a man n you sit back in watch ur woman work miserably and it doesn't bother u i question if u really love her or just settled for her cuz u were ready to get married

I am a woman who despises anyone who doesn't take in the whole chapter. Please, people understand that is mother talking to her son. A mother teaches who her son should marry. The old teaching is the young. A parent directing her child in the way he should go or even more so turning him into a man GOD wants to represent his image/child. How many parents are teaching their kids who they should be as a child of GOD and an adult in this world. Love your kids. Love is an action word. Show and tell is life as a parent.

I can’t be 100% the women in the relationship, while you’re 50% a man.

I’m an atheist and I watch this channel because come on people, this is common SENSE! No I’m not living with you or sharing finances before we’re married period!!!!

I would rather work hard for myself than work hard for someone else to gain financial security on my time. It's a mind set. I can work just as hard in my business than I can for someone else's business.

Happy to see so many wise women in the comments.

I'm so glad you put this up that's so so important I was down to help my husband I learned from what I saw my dad do for my mom ....we had no kids and I totally tried to build my ex husband up but he was thinking like this guy. Even when he wanted me to be a house wife I still helped him out because he gave me 70 a week and I made it work when he needed help I always had money to help him. He just started blowing through the money and he became a liability and started not listening to what goals we had set. Marriage alone is a LOT you have to communicate,have a game plan and don't ever marry unless you are financially ready. What some guys don't understand is that us females are not to happy in the work place idk how men handle it. It's a masculine driven type of work world

I always thought this exact way. I feel like you both best believe you should bring 💯 on 100 percent. Okay I'm on the right path when it comes down 👇 to this and having the right mentality on this right here and when I get married one day and I hope and believe. Does this counts for relationship(s) to. Building teamwork and building a stronger foundation and building a real true connection. I do not believe in 50/50 and I believe in 100/100 in effort. I love your way of thinking 💭 in this video.

Thank you. Just started listening. I was thankful for the wisdom you had to reveal the female atheist calling out the Fresh n Fire men. Thank you.

Shumake I love that you bring up scripture. I hate when people bring up the prv 31 woman because everyone forgets that the verse starts at 1, not 10. In the verse, Bathsheba is telling him if you not hitting these 9 verses you will not be able to clearly define or differentiate a prv 31 woman. Not to mention, you dont qualify to have her.

Nah...his money is the families money and her money is her money. Men pay the cost to be the boss and if they feel entitled to the throne, then they take on all the financial responsibilities.

@2:00 now you can’t marry a woman if you make 14 dollars hr , I think that’s some bs .

I have a cousin who when he was a young man (early 20’s) he would work part of the year and travel and party part of the year. He did this for about 7 years. Then he met the woman he would marry. Within 6 years after meeting her he was a married man who owned a home and a small apartment building.