ObGyn Reacts: Truth About Hymens & Sex | Adam Ruins Everything 

It also depends. My first time was definitely not a good experience. I definitely lost. He was a big mistake.

@YoungL I can tell you this much. I wish I would have waited longer. Most of us regret who we had our debuts with...

@YoungL said a mixture of blood, flesh, excrement, whatever-it-is etc. It must have been a hard time for you to be a human😢

That’s what I said to some male students in college and they just mocked me. I think they just love the thought of “taking” from a woman.

@@isamaracc Or being given something. I think giving it to that special person is something to be proud of. Or being able to brag about being a virgin. Most of us wish we could go back in time and take it back.

THIS!!

YES. I’ve had a lot of conversations with folks who’ve been assaulted where I’ve basically said that if virginity is an important concept to you, you get to define whether you are that or not. It’s an entirely mythic concept and not something that someone can take away from you, no matter what happens to you. Had to give myself the same speech, too.

It screws up women in general because ‘impure’ etc etc but abused girls have it the absolute worst. Sexual debut from here on out!

Its horrible, isn't it? I also feel for those women in the past that were shamed for not producing the requisite bloody sheets after their wedding nights.

@@BeerElf66 , sadly some religions still believe this. :(

That's one of those things that those who don't live it don't understand it. They can try, but that's about it.

Oh so much more relaxed than my little sister😅 I had to figure out that stuff on my own (okay, I got some help by some girls from my year because I got my first period at school, and I knew a bit from sex ed), so I didn't understand the big deal my sister made out of this when she got her first period. I wasn't very helpful to her, I should've done better, but I also didn't get why she was crying because I didn't help her, even though I managed to figure that stuff out on my own. I didn't tell anyone in my family for several days.

​@@solar0wind I don't remember learning about menstruation, it just happened and I knew it was normal. I slightly remember hearing about it in a bathroom in third grade, but I can't know for sure if that actually happened. I was 13 1/3 when I got my first one. I had made my own pads out of toilet paper. I didn't tell my mom until two years later when she finally thought she should mention it to me (during a car ride) because she thought it hadn't happened yet and that it must happen soon. She was heartbroken that I never told her but I was just like "yeah it's whatever." I also started shaving my legs when I was 11. I had taken an unopened replacement/cartridge for my mom's razor and just switched the tops out. I remember she was out front drunk with her friends one night by the fire and she said to a friend that she was wondering if she should get a razor for me, and then my mom felt my legs and said "no, you're good" ...but I had already been shaving for a year at that point. When she tried to have the period talk with me I cut her off and said I've had it for two years and that I also shave, and then a few days later a pack of disposable bic razors and generic pads showed up even though she had the expensive name brand stuff for herself. I didn't use the razors as disposable ones, since they were all I had. They rusted really quickly though so I had to dry them off. I've never been to an ob/gyn even though I'm almost 20 because I didn't have health insurance for a long time with her, and now that I'm living with my dad, he won't even give me my insurance cards, and keeps my personal legal documents (birth certificate/ssn card/vaccination records) locked in a safe. Any time I've asked for them he has said no and that I don't need them (even if I clearly do, for college or an employer). I ended up dropping out of college after one year because of depression and suicidal ideation and lost all of my scholarships. When I told my dad he was furious and called suicidal people weak, but there's nothing he can do to make me go back until I achieve personal stability and do it myself. I just recently got a job as a cake decorator, and my employer needed me to bring in my ssn card. I didn't think my dad would give it to me because he had never done so before, but this time he did and he hasn't asked for it back yet. Also just recently, I broke up with my fiance who I met online when I was 12 and he was just about to turn 15. When I was 12-14 he would ignore me for weeks until I'd send him nudes or a video of me doing... specific things... for him. I was essentially stockholmed. I'd do anything to see his face or hear his voice. When I was 16 I bought him a plane ticket and he lived with my mom for a year and then joined the army. He was very different in person, honestly a great guy other than what he did in the past, and he was just a dumb teenage boy at that point. But I just couldn't get over that past, and honestly shouldn't. He ended up failing basic training in the army and went back to his state to take care of his grandma where he still is. This time long distance he never asked for anything sexual from me (ever) but instead would repeatedly tell me that I hate him, just to hear me fight it. It was so draining. Anyway, I'm mentioning him because one of the first times he asked me to do something in a video call for him he said "I hope you didn't break your hymen" because there was a little bit of blood and I hadn't had a period before. I remember saying "I don't think I broke anything," because I had never even heard of hymens. I didn't learn what they were or where they were until 7th grade sex ed class, and they didn't explain it well at all, I was so embarrassed just sitting there thinking I don't even have one anymore and have never seen it.

This is why I, as a cis male, am subscribed to a gynecologist's RU-vid channel. I may not have these body parts, but this is still USEFUL information to have.

YESSS I WISH I HAD A SISTER FOR THIS REASONNNNN LIKE, YALL WERE SO COMFORTABLE WITH EACH OTHER

It’s good that you know the truth. You don’t lose your virginity until you give consent and have sex with the person you gave consent to.

@@katsukibakugo9536 you don't lose your virginity -period*virginity is the most stupid concept made up by... well how do you know?!MEN! (a shocker, I know...)

The monkey bars took mine in a very painful and traumatic accident at school, and a boy's bike did the same to my cousin a few weeks later.

@@dgeneeknapp3168 I got bucked off a horse. The ground and I are married now ig

I fell really hard onto one of the seat side of a chair while painting my walls, guess I have to marry it now It legit felt like my entire metaphorical peen shriveled inside of me, I was nauseous for 10 minutes afterward

That's crazy, one of my friends had her period in the 4th grade, that is horrifying to think about with his logic!

My cousin got hers at 8 so um..

Im 60 and didnt know the word hymen ! LOL

@@dejacavu6259 Really? We had so much fun in middle school because Hymen is also a Greek god of marriage and as such often appears in Molier plays to bless the pair of lovers. "Hymen says" and we all are rolling in laughter trying to imagine it.

Ignorant people like this scares me a lot: the damage they can do.... And they have the right to vote and drive cars.

I literally read a fanfiction yesterday by a grown woman that treated a little bleeding during the first sex as "normal". That's not normal, you should NEVER bleed from sex.

I'm a cis woman, and I wish I'd looked more carefully at my hymen. There doesn't seem to be a lot there now.

I'm really only beginning to realize how lucky I was to have a mother who is a nurse. Nothing about my body was ever mysterious to me, and I'm so grateful.

Although I completely agree, I think the point was supposed to be "stop invalidating women who talk about their bodies". I don't think they stuck the landing, but I do still think it's a good lesson to teach. There are, of course, plenty of women who do a poor job knowing their own bodies, too, so obviously listening to people who know their stuff is important. Just wanted to throw that out there.

@@Nakia11798 I was told by my doctor that bleeding during the first time and a few times after is very normal and common. You either do or don't. As long as it's not heavy like a period it's fine.

I don't know how some people function when they're that stupid and unwilling to learn.

Tell her to read a tampon instruction

Ok, now I feel a little better. I was 18 when I learned that there were 3 holes. My 3 teen/adult kids are all taught proper sex ed and anatomy due to my lack up knowledge when I was younger. :)

OMG 😲 😆

I have 3 but my urethra comes out just inside my vagina. if I don’t push the tampon in far enough, I can’t pee. The tubes should be parallel but mine is a y.

That's horrible. So sorry you experienced that

That’s just gross of the gynaecologists, wtf? If you were uncomfortable or in pain at all during that exam she should have stopped immediately. Also, how could someone in charge of people’s health be so ignorant on how hymens work? Was she joking when she said “we’ll see about that”?? Even then, WHO DOES THAT with anyone, especially a kid who’s having their first visit and in a situation where they’re having such an invasive and uncomfortable exam?? I’m so sorry you had to go through that, that’s just disgusting, you should never have had to experience that

I'm so sorry that happened to you!! That I'd an absolute violation and you should never have been treated like that.

That's horrible. That doctor doesn't deserve to be in her position when she's not only giving bad care to patients but also doing things that could cause trauma. I hope you're doing better now and that any future doctors who you have are respectful and give you the level of care you deserve.

@@lizard3755 Not gonna lie, it took a while before I went to a gynaecologist again (like over a decade). My second visit was way better and I was so thankful for that.

She was joking. R/whooosh my love

She was joking about being a narcissist, and she’s very proud of how much hard work she’s put into her career. Med school isn’t easy for anyone, and she had babies while she was in school. Much respect from me.

Stop r/whooosh ing everything lmao she was just being nice

@@lilaxo442 I didn’t realise this post was “everything”. How foolish of me. Everything in it and it in Everything. How could I be so blind, yes this, this post is the personification of the idea we humans perceive as “everything”. And for me to r/whoosh this “everything” uh, I should just go sacrifice myself for being so blind that I r/whooshed the epitome of “everything”.

The issue i have with her is that she talks too much about child birth and not enough about other common issues. Things you don't know exist until it happens

Literally there’s no way to tell a woman has had sex before. You can see it if she gave birth, but if she’s never given birth or if she’s never been pregnant there’s no way to tell

@@lilaxo442 And technically even if she has been pregnant/given birth it's still possible for her to be a virgin so legit there is no way to tell lol

@@oliverfloof6824 righttt I even forgot to mention that

@@oliverfloof6824 How is that if she is not Virgin Mary?

@@mirnacudiczgela1963 ~artificial insemination~

Removing those would have a huge impact on rape convictions though.

@@vanderbam2741 the "inspection " is primarily about looking for bruising, tearing, and other injuries found with sexual assaults.

How is it legal?! Makes me so upset 1. It’s not the parent business 2. Not based on science

They're horrible in-laws. Did the son go for that too. Cause his weewee also needs some checking then.

What did she do exactly? This is wild

@@EK-wi2me I don’t know if all of them are like this but it was basically just a pelvic exam plus a little bit of sex counseling. I also got a birth control prescription at the time, although I wish in hindsight we could discuss all the options there because I think I might have chosen an IUD or something instead of the pill, but overall it wasn’t traumatizing for me personally.

@@EK-wi2me oh and she gave me a prescription for antibiotics in case of UTI on the honeymoon, which I never used.

My sex ed teacher said a man's penis could get stuck in a vagina if they both had piercings. I dont know how many errors I have to point out in that statement, but the stupidity seems self evident

@@darkshadowrule2952 there´s an episode on Grey´s Anatomy that states the same thing, I believe...

@@purplexninjamom sincerely hope that's not where our teacher was getting information, but she was after all a special ed teacher, not a health teacher. I dunno what our school was thinking tbh

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you and where did you go to school? I'm just curious.

@@darkshadowrule2952 Yeah, I hope so, too. I meant... Wow, it´s in Grey´s Anatomy, that could send the wrong message to casual viewers.

Agree 1000%. Cannot believe this trope is still in use in modern romance writing.

Yes! I used to love a book, but now the more I read it, the worse it gets.

Or the amateur stories that talk about over-endowed cis men with small inexperienced cis women [genuinely horrifying idea follows, trying to give anyone an option to opt out] ... who not only break a hymen but push through the cervix (generally with the implication that this extra ensures a pregnancy). #BadWomensAnatomy

It does happen though.

@@tamarleahh.2150 I'm just hoping you're not replying to me here.

I doubt your husband cared ab your hymen. Ppl blow the myth out of perception

With one comment, you have broken my belief that all Scotts are jerks. Llap (I think you’re old enough to grok that reference).

My first sex-ed class was in grade 6, around the turn of the millennium, and we also had segregated classes for this, which is a mistake. A man lucky enough not to have been kicked in the nuts can go through his entire life without having ANY cause to know what a vas deferens is, but we learned about it anyways. But most guys don't know jack about the female reproductive system, or it's associated issues, at all. And given that most of us will spend our lives around at least ONE woman, this shit is useful information to have.

I advocate for comprehensive sex ed and one of the things I always say is to have everybody in the room instead of segregating the class. It's just common sense.

@@BlackEpyon what’s a vas deferens? Edit:I spelled it as derens lol

@@EmmaJohnsonShenanigans You can look it up on a male reproductive diagram. TL;DR, it's the duct that runs from the testicles, through the bladder, and to the urethra. If you happen to be a guy unlucky enough to experience testicular torsion, you'll learn THAT pretty quickly.

YES!!!

100%!!! Great suggestion!

Yes!!!!

Yes, great idea!

He didn't do a childbirth video though...

Whoa. It is scary because it is rare and we are not able to know readily that is what is happening to us until we start suffering. Glad u r good and normal now.

That hurt to read and I'm a man. I am so glad you found the medical treatment you needed.

I'm so glad I have a penis when I hear all the things that can go wrong with vaginas and uterus es

Question, was it infected at all..?? Like that's what scares me about that thought, having an infection sealed behind a layer of skin inside of your most sensitive place full of organs. 😰

@@Gingersnaps_the_pumpkin_kitty no infection luckily!

Me too. Feel upset about it sometimes.

@@carnystrickland4888 Yeah, me too. They make virginity out to be this big sacred thing; and that’s not to say that our first times shouldn’t be with someone special, it’s just that’s there’s so much shame/fear associated with it, on top of all this pressure to stay one until marriage. So yeah I can see why it’s so upsetting. I’m an adult still struggling with these feelings.

I personally hate still being a virgi/n purely because I know when men find out they feti/shize me.

@@jadecoolness101 Oh my goodness I completely understand! I’ve experienced that too! It’s so annoying

Good for you! Everyone should get to decide for themselves if and when they want to have sex, and no one should ever need to feel ashamed for what they choose. I hope that when you do find the right person and feel ready you'll have a great "debut"

😂

If you count all round the body.. mouth, nostrils, ears makes 8... do eyes count?

Mine was about some dude talking about toxic poop 😳

@@Farimira tear ducts!

🤣🤣🤣🤣

One of my friends was assaulted and she said that she didn't like sex and that it was terrible. I told her that she didn't have sex and that sex is between consenting parties with trust and respect for one another. She did have sex. She didn't quite understand what is said, but she's since gotten a boyfriend and they're very sexually active, so I think she understands what I meant now.

We just have to get rid of the concept of virginity. It’s a purity test imposed on us by men. If virginity can’t be taken in cases of rape, then there have been thousands (if not millions) of women who have given birth as virgins because historically, consent has never mattered to virginity. Our modern discomfort with the term should be an indication that the term itself needs to be rejected, not retooled into something more palatable. Especially when you look at how “gray” rape can be: there are women who, even decades later, come to realize a sexual encounter they experienced was assault because of the burden society imposes on them to prevent their own rape. Just reject it. It’s kind of icky, too, even at it’s most benign. To think that doing anything with another person for the first time irrevocably changes you. Even the term “sexual debut” implicitly values sexual activity done with another person over sexual activity done alone. That somehow the “best” sex, or “only sex that matters” is sex done with another person. It completely erases how most humans a) not only experience sex for the first time, but also b) how most humans get the majority of their sexual activity.

I considered my virginity the first time I willingly had sex so I totally understand

this is very well said. Virginity is a concept, just like freedom, etc. Its not something that anyone is in power to really take away from somebody.

I agree with you. I too was mistreated as a child like that, and spent many years arguing that there's a difference between making love and rape. There's a huge difference between a criminal act and love .

Given that most cervical cancers are caused by the HPV, which is typically sexually transmitted, I find it bizarre that the doctor insisted on a pelvic exam.

Have fun boiling! Mwahahahahahahahahahaha

You spelled vagina wrong

Has he, um, not ever spent any quality time face-to-vulva?

I mean, it's not like passing a baby through there is painless either 😬

Omg! What a loon!

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I read a letter sent to a Dear Abby-type of column, written by a woman who had a lot of butt sex and erm, "mouth activity." She didn't have PIV sex, so she thought she was still a virgin.

Also, "sexual debut" makes it sound voluntary, not weird to not experience it, and makes me as a grey asexual feel less embarrassed and better about opting out of that choice.

@@kiwin7119 As another asexual, I agree with you, "sexual debut" sounds voluntary. It makes me feel more comfortable using that term for myself.

The only slight issue I would have is that "debut" feels like it implies it will be something ongoing, which feels weird for me since I've been sexually active in the past but don't intend to be again in the future. But that's mostly just my personal hang up about my past experiences. Otherwise yeah it's a good term

@@gtickno2946 "debut" also insinuates that it's a performance or a spectator event.

That is terrible that the doctor did that.

On the one hand, yes. But this is actually a very important question for the people who do get sexual abused. Way too often cover up stories are just ignored and way too many clinical symptoms are pushed aside. I'm sorry your father got falsely accused but know that by the doctor checking these things, they made the first step into protecting actual abuse victims.

Mine did also at around 4 i fell into a shopping basket hard and was bleeding crazy.smdh

@@laartje24 Asking if there's a possibility that the child was sexually abused would be understandable in this situation but asking if it was the father with no reason to suspect the father specifically doesn't make sense. Even if the child had been sexually abused that doesn't mean that the father did it. These kinds of situations should definitely be investigated but we shouldn't jump to conclusions or throw out accusations.

Mine broke horseback riding. I asked my mom why I bled after riding and she explained.

When I first heard it described as a barrier, I imagined two big () shaped balloons tied together at the top and bottom

Keep in mind that some women's hymens cover more of the vagina than others. The hymen can in fact stretch, which is why you should be more careful the first time as it may not be stretched out (but as they said in this video, other things can stretch it too) but after a few times you don't have to. Of course just listen to your partner for feedback

*you're

On top of not having enough lubrication (which is incredibly important!), people need to talk more about the fact that there needs to be enough foreplay for the vagina to get erect, and this can take a lot longer than a penile erection. I didn't really "get" this the first time I had penetrative sex and my partner kept hitting my cervix for the first few minutes (thankfully they were very attentive to my pain). Knowing that now makes it a lot more pleasurable for both of us.

@@amoureux6502 yes! Actually I hate the word foreplay bc it implies it's not as important as intercourse. I didn't learn til my late 20s that the clitorus is the biological equivalent to the penis made for pleasure where the vagina is simply to conceive/birth or for male pleasure. This needs to be taught to men that a few minutes of "foreplay" is not enough for most women to get there or be wet enougg. Not that intercourse is bad, it's just women need stimulation of the clit just like men need penile. I can't believe I didn't learn this til later in life

@@DanielleNicoleMakeup I agree, I think maybe "non-penetrative sex" might be a better term, especially since plenty of people don't enjoy penetration at all and only ever have the kind of sex that some people would consider "foreplay."

@@DanielleNicoleMakeup There isn’t actually any evidence that the clitoris is made for pleasure and fun while the vagina is meant for babies/male pleasure. Many women do find vaginal intercourse a pleasurable experience. And while the clitoris is pleasurable for most people that have one, it isn’t necessarily there for the purpose of pleasure. In theory the clitoris is unnecessary since it doesn’t help in the creation of babies. Some say the female orgasm serves no purpose biologically since it also doesn’t help make babies. No one really knows. All I know is that the clitoris is your best friend for a good night. Whether your male or female. And that if an orgasm happens, bonus! I do 100% agree that foreplay is def as important as the intercourse itself. Women do need time for the body to prepare itself. Plus I enjoy savouring my time and who I’m with. I got a lot to enjoy before intercourse after all.

@@jackbrax7808 for sure. It's interesting stuff isn't it? I would argue the vaginal canal is for babies/procreation and the clit for pleasure but we can agree to disagree. To clarify, I never said women don't also enjoy intercourse, just that most need foreplay in addition. The clitorus goes up inside the body much further than most ppl think (I didn't even know that til recently) so some may experience more or less vaginal pleasure. Overall the human body is pretty complex and there's a lot more to learn for sure

Vaginal corona in English, slidkrans in Swedish

It makes way more sense that way.

@@Ikajo omg, I had no idea there was a name for that bit

@@Ikajo Hmm, coronal discharge sounds differently now in my head then.

Really hoping there is another term in German as well. „Jungfernhäutchen“ (Kind of like virgin-skin) is such a weird and outdated term. I‘ll have to look that up.

I think I broke mine with a tampon when I was 12.

Excited being TEN for your period? Can't relate 🤣

I’m pretty sure mine broke doing Taekwon-Do 😂

My mom never told me about periods and so I thought I was dying when my first period happened. I'm trans so yeah, I know about these things from a personal perspective.

@@RyanBlackhawke yeah those types of parents are idiots there's a ton of reddit stories about idiot parents not telling their kids about periods

The whole "your first time is special" thing really cracks me up. I imagine, in most people's cases, it's totally awkward and forgettable. I know I don't remember my first time--just the night leading up to it. The sex itself is a total blank.

I wish I could forget the first time I had a sexual experience, of course mine wasn't exactly willing.

@@malindastevens1016 Came here with the same story. I am currently in treatment for ptsd. And a few weeks ago was the first time I had sex and I could enjoy it without any (TW) panic attacks or flashbacks. That is the memory I will treasure, not the first time. There are more important factors hen whether it was the first time or not.

@@laartje24 I’m so sorry. I hope your treatment is going well!

@@malindastevens1016 Yeah same here. Hard to forget when it's that way.

To me it only really makes sense when discussing the pregnant teenagers? But also there is such a gray area between when a female matures mentally and is socially recognized as being adult enough to make her own decisions, and when that same female is physically mature enough to reproduce. Fourteen and fifteen year old girls shouldn’t be having babies, but most of them are also capable of getting pregnant. Not to mention every other possibility.

Yeah, that phrasing bugged me, too. Like they were trying to “make it okay” that they were talking about teenagers having sex. And they just ended up awkwardly drawing attention to the fact that, well, teenagers AREN’T grown women.

I mean you also have 18 and 19 yearolds who are grown ups. And i get their still young but it would be infantlizing to some people. Lots people become adults as teens and legally everyone becomes an adult and are still teens.

When I heard teenage women I assumed she meant 18 and 19 year olds. They are legally adults but are still consider “teens”. I consider myself an adult teen at 19 because it’s in the name: nine-TEEN

Ever heard the term Young Adult? That's the same thing as saying teenage women or teens. Teens are often infantilized in today's culture when it comes to sexual activity, which is just an inevitable result of how concerned we are with issues of consent. We kinda need to acknowledge that Young Adults are a thing and that they aren't fully developed but also aren't as incapable of understanding sex as an actual child is.

Its not a stupid concept - in the past sex and marriage were a lot more connected than now days. Men wanted a virgin bride so they could be sure that any kids born will be his and his only. And for teen girls to get pregnant out of wedlock was a real concern. As it still is. Teens are stupid! We didnt have modern bird control pills or so easy to use condoms. Sex can be very life changing event and just the modern life made it seem like its just this fun activity we do. Dont get me wrong - Im very happy to be born in this times, but safe sex is pretty recent thing. So to change cultures and old notions that were usefull and valid for milenia is not gonna happen in a blink.

@@alexforce9 yeah, we know why it was invented, people argue that now when women have autonomy it's kind od useless and harmfull especially as its basis in biology are shaky. And as you point out safe sex exists so putting this overblown importance on it is unnecessary as long as people get good sex-ed.

@@alexforce9 People also used to wear lead makeup, dye their clothes with arsenic, and paint watches with radium. Not too long ago they thought tobacco was healthy. In a historical context it's understandable why the concept of virginity came about, but that doesn't mean that now, in the modern day, it's not a stupid concept. Insisting on carrying over a cultural relic that's been used primarily to justify abuse is about as sensical as suggesting we bring back Scheele's Green.

@@felix7866 they still use lead in make up. Watch shady

@@alexforce9 I like this explanation.

True

@@CorinneA3 memento mori

YEP.

Yeah, but I think what makes it sound dumb here is the guys weren't saying that. They were ignorant, but they never implied Emily didn't/shouldn't know stuff just because she's a woman, or anything like that.

They should if we don't. Majority of women know shit all about the female reproductive system and should stop acting like being a woman means you're all-knowing.

Well, we had that concept, but it was universally aknowledged that a noble lady can hurt herself while horse riding and a village woman while working or walking above a fence, so this sheet showing ritual doesntt proof anything.

Lmao. That's amazing. Glad you could be the one to educate him. Probably didn't do much, though ... Older people can be stuck in their ways and not open to change and new information. But humans in general tend to not like change. 🤷‍♀️

Well men believe that they're entitled to a woman's body. So... No surprise there...

*gasp* you mean a woman's life and anatomy aren't centered around men? Men can be so douchy

@@mellie4174 I've found myself correctly referring to those specimens as "males". Males feel they're owed sex from women in exchange for basic kindness and respect, and that kindness and respect is revoked if not satiated. Those are males. They dehumanise women in calling them "females", it's a mutual respect.

I'm pretty sure that 99% of men don't give a toss about a woman's hymen, as in don't think it was designed for them. And I would suggest that the majority of men would prefer to not hurt a woman during her first sexual encounter either.

@@ruthugo9342 Traumatising virginity testing is common and rampant across the world, including in America, and these tests are NOT performed for the benefit of the woman. They are performed for men/potential men. Indonesia practices performing virginity tests on women recruits entering the police academy. They are performed in SCHOOLS in countries like Turkey, Egypt, and Morocco, and Iraq. One girl in Turkey killed herself after her principal performed a virginity test on her. It is NEVER to benefit the woman. Controlling fathers who feel they own their daughters bodies request them without any regard for the emotional scarring of her body being violated, that she’s been shown isn’t hers. It belongs to a man who’s controlling it for a future man(a husband) By the way, I’m a bloke, and a father to a daughter and a son.

What did they mean by entourage?

@@nunpho Entourage was a tv show and then movie about a group of actors. From what I understand, the only female characters were basically scenery or one dimensional sexual conquests. Idk, I hated it so i only saw a few moments here and there

@@els1f oh wow, thanks for answering. I've never heard of it before. Probably because I'm not American.

@@nunpho no problem, there's no reason to know if it🙂

@@els1f Not just scenery or one dimensional, if I remember right several female characters were actually played by IRL pornstars. Even though its not that old and ended less than a decade ago IDK if a show like that could be made in todays climate lol.

I only had a little bit of blood my first time. We only barely even noticed it, and it certainly wasn’t enough to stain sheets or anything.

Same! I did a lot of practice warming up for mY debut so I figured it was because of that and I was happy for it lol!

@@sparklyunicorn5431 Petition to refer to first times as "debuts" w/ no regard to the construct of virginity Edit: Typed that before MDJ brought it up too 🙃

Lucky, I had such excessive bleeding it was like I was on a heavy period. It was A LOT.

Same here

Also, foreplay and being comfortable helps so much. My first time was 100% pain free. I was comfortable with my then bf now husband, and after several hours together, and at least half an hour of cuddling and kissing, my body was ready lol.

@@josephinenelan4204 Same. I had no discomfort my first time and i'm pretty sure that's cause we prepared well with foreplay. I also wasn't nervous and that would also help a lot.

We need to get rid of the word foreplay too bc it implies it's not as important as sexual intercourse where in reality foreplay is what gets most women off

Yeah, unfortunately, especially in the bible belt, sex ed is simply, "Don't have sex until marriage, or you'll burn in Hell forever!"

I'm pretty sure mine broke with a tampon, so I was bleeding anyway.

I don't really see it as stating they are experts, rather stating that they inherently and anecdotally know more than men about their own bodies. Which generally should be true.

@@rdizzy1 ... Tell that to the women who don't know how their own vaginas work. I shit you not, there's some ladies I once knew (and stopped talking to for a reason) that legitimately didn't even know how their own reproductive systems worked beyond 'this big-dicked guy makes me feel good'

@@BrokensoulRider I'm 18, I had to tell one of my female friends earlier this year what a vulva was. And a few years ago I had to tell a different friend what a clitoris was. And the only reason I knew what these things were were bc of the internet. I'd never even heard the word hymen before seeing someone talk about it on yt in reference to menstrual cups and virginity. So yeah I agree, having female anatomy doesn't mean you know anything about it.

My high school had pretty thorough classes about STIs and such, but they NEVER mentioned that females have 3 holes, or about hymens.

@@kiwin7119 I completely agree with you. Our sex education was short and basic. I can remember a lot of people thought the hymen was broken from having fingers or a penis inserted during intercourse, usually during the first time. And having 3 holes was never mentioned at all!

@@kiwin7119 in my sex ed classes there was some discussion about anatomy but there were definitely things left out like the hymen and clitoris.

Ive heard this too. It also makes me wonder how rough some men were being in order to cause enough bleeding to stain the sheets in order to create this myth in the first place??

@@elenapaints972 Eeewwww. I just now realized the real source of the myth of bleeding hymens. Thanks 😒

@@elenapaints972 a lot of guys just weren’t gentle. Didn’t take it slow. No foreplay... sex was a pleasure for men, not so much for women.

@@elenapaints972 the men in question throughout most of history were also older in a developmentally significant way. There's a size component to some of that. The women weren't aroused in many cases. There are a lot of reasons. Female arousal is immoral. Female arousal means you are promiscuous. Women were also anxious and ignorant, mostly done deliberately, on that first night. Put those ingredients together and...tearing. On top of that, men of stature had to be seen as conquering and virile. I guess it was a symbol of their ruthless courage that they could put Tab A into Slot B.

@@arisucheddar3097 Yeah, definitely agree all those played a part. What I mean is you would have to have quite a lot of blood for it to end up on the sheets, which is a horrible prospect of how rough you would have to be to get that to happen (in general). Its awful that first time sex was supposed to be this violent tearing, painful experience for women, those myths still persist today. :(

I had the same, had to have it surgically removed, there was no way I could break it

Similar, but I had a septate hymen. Did need surgery as there was no way to break that thing without a scalpel.

@@kw7378a1 I had a septate hymen but mine was probably thinner than yours, I cut it myself at home😂

Same. Found out when I was trying to get an exam after having absolutely awful cycles. It explained how I was able to bleed but the bleeding lasted for far longer than it should and with excessive other issues that kept me bed bound for however long it lasted. Having the physical exam to find that answered so many questions, then the removal kinda helped, but that's another story.

@@haydeltae5887 that sounds very painful

found the virgin

@@trumpputinkim bruh

Requirements of certain sacrifices'! Get that stuff wrong and their is no telling the hell you might raise!

@@shadoe1769 I accidentally sacrificed a woman who wasn't a virgin and opened a portal to hell. 😕

Because back in ancient Greek/Roman/Egyptian era, virgin sacrifice to appease the gods was how they solved practically every problem. Got a battle in the morning? Throw a virgin over a cliff.... And it just evolved from there.

😂😂😂

Unless they scar you and then…

Nobody talks about how hymens heal Look how few likes your comment has... :( Dr Jones didn't even give commentary on that part

They crack me up.

I was just thinking this myself! I watch/listen to them play D&D together on their shows! It's so funny seeing them together in other things

I love Emily and Murph and i love dimension 20. I've only seen Fantasy High so far.

@@sydneydowdle5456 i love dimension 20. If you haven't already you should check out Critical Role. It's less silly but still great.

i was JUST watching dimension 20 and i had to pause and look this up because i was like, "i swear that sounds just like emily axford..."

I know she did say a reason, but I have also read that that's just one theory and that the hymen may be vestigial. As she said, beyond that possibility we don't know what it might be for.

I heard that the hymen might there to prevent bacteria from entering the vagina before puberty because before puberty there is less vaginal discharge to flush out bacteria and stuff. That might be completely wrong but it's just something I heard.

It is really horrible that that happened to you. I hope you're safe now and could process those events. All the love to you

I'm so sorry you had these experiences, but I'm glad you found a caring doctor to help you.

I’m glad you’re ok & I’m going to pray for you to continue to be ok. I know it’s hard, but you sound strong & capable 💕

If you don't mind me asking this: was it you friend who gave you those substances? If you don't want to answer, I totally get that. I hope you are alright now and I wish you the best.

@@GG-vl9xq I don't mind at all, and thank you for your kindness :) Yes, it was my friend. I'm still not 100% sure how he did it, but I know it was in my food. We had gone to McDonald's with his aunt and I was in the back seat of the car while he was up front. I didn't know that the aunt was ok with us eating in the car so I was just waiting till we got back to the house but then I noticed both of them eating so I asked for mine and he didn't want to give it to me. Eventually he did but I think that's when I ingested whatever it was. I know he was really good at slight of hand type of stuff so it's definitely believable that he could have done it then and no one noticed

Oh my gosh same, I knew about virginity but I'd never heard of hymens until I saw someone on the internet debunking hymen myths as a teenager, none of which I'd ever heard of, bc I'd never heard of a hymen 😂 Edit: I've never had sex and I've never noticed any bleeding that could've potentially been from a broken hymen, so I've no idea if mine is "intact" or not lol.

Sadly, sex education is needed so much.

Many doctors still cling to old superstitions that have no scientific basis. For example recent studies showed something like 1 in 3 doctors still think that black people do not feel pain like white people, exaggerate pain and therefore refuse them medical and pain treatment. Many doctors still believe that women qre hysterical so rather than look for their coronary heart disease they call it nerves and give them tranquilizers. This is how my grandmother died. In the 90's! So yes even doctors will tell you all kinds of trash! My own doctor just told me cancer is an emotional disorder. Yup my dad died from lung cancer due to exposure to toxic chemicals in the military but for him it was definitely psychosomatic! Even doctors are not above believing quackery!

@@mellie4174 this is extremely sad and awful coming from professionals that we're supposed to be able to trust in our troubled times... And they really have no excuse because it's their responsibility to stay up to date on new medical information. It really makes you wonder how they even graduated medical school 🤢

I hope he got checked out. He might have been feeling an unidentified lump, and that area in general can harbor some nasty growths.

@@arisucheddar3097 Or maybe severe inflammation of the prostate. Although I wonder if it would be possible for there to be some genetic deformity/issue that results in having duplicate or 2 prostates, as there are people with 2 penises, 2 vaginas, 2 uteruses, etc.

This one in particular could've used some more information about what the purpose of the hymen really is. It was more about what it isn't, than what it is.

Because that is how it is depicted in every sexual debut scene in every trashy romance novel ever written.

I didn't even know what a hymen was before this video (: