Opening Up About My 'Love Life' | Past Relationships & Currently Dealing With Heartbreak 

UPDATE: this was filmed a little over a week ago so thankfully I'm doing a lot better now... still going through the stages of healing, yes, but I know that I deserve to be with someone who is willing to fight for me. My spirit is feeling lighter each day and I know my worth :) ALSO: yes, I had a bit of lipstick on one of my teeth... that's just the way it goes folks lol. Sorry if it was distracting!

If you can “love” the wrong person this much, just imagine how much you will love the RIGHT person.

I have come to believe that "not at the right point in my life" is code for not interested enough. One of these days a person is going to come along who just can't get enough of you. Don't settle for anything less than that.

So for a year straight I was on tinder hoeing around, meeting guys that I consistently thought were THE ONE. I remember keeping old sunflowers from Jay, poems that Mike wrote for me, listening to love songs that John recommended for me. These names engraved in my heart for every tiny heartbreak I’ve had in that entire year. One day, the day I had finally given the fuck UP on dating, I decided this is my last day on tinder. I was just swiping yes thoughtlessly to these randoms. Just completely let down and sad. A few minutes after swiping on this goofy, tall red head, he messaged me. He made a joke and I fake laughed and we talked about nothing serious. A few days in he said let’s hang out. I said OKAY and then told my best friend COME ALONG WITH ME ON THE DATE I DONT THINK IM GOING TO LIKE THIS GUY. So I met him the day after my birthday. He came to pick me up at my job in Sephora. I saw him, he smiled, he was the cutest human I’ve ever seen and my entire demeanor and attitude changed, I wanted to make this a good date but I was still pessimistic. He didn’t hate me even though my friend tagged along on the entire date, he was lovely and gentle like no one I’ve ever met. He was 4 years younger than me, I was 28, but he was like a pleasant old man haha only way I could describe him. A gardener, with a love of biology, puzzles, the smell of flowers. I KNEW this was going to be so special. 4 years later, we have an 8 month old daughter together, who I gave birth to a day after my birthday(our anniversary),we are getting close to saving enough for a house, we laugh all day. I am so eternally grateful to whatever made me NOT give up. I never would have imagined this being my life. I share my existence with my soulmate. I look at this video and this was me after Jay treated me like a one night stand, after dealing with johns bipolar tantrums, after every guy that disrespected my self worth. You will be okay. This is my guarantee.

I think a lot of the time us girls like to romanticize confused men and convince ourselves that they are deep and troubled. But at the end of the day you have to call a spade a spade, most of the time things are exactly as they seem.

Cassie, when people show you who they are, believe them. If someone wants to be with someone, they will move heaven and earth. After eight weeks you know so so little of him. Better now than a year from now. You deserve someone who wants to be on the same team. You're fabulous ya know? He isn't the one. Despite the connection, he just isn't. But I get it honey, the heart wants what the heart wants.

Dear Cassie, I don't know if you're even going to read this, but after watching this entire video as someone who's been watching your videos for quite some years now, I feel like I do need to say some things. This comes from a 35 year old woman who's been at the exact same spot that you are a good dozen times in her life. What I am seeing you doing here is to build up theories about his character to cling onto the idea of the last few month being something of real worth and not just wasted time, that the feelings he gave you about yourself are truth and not just an illusion up and smoke, and yes, also to cling on to that last sliver of hope that he'd might step back into your life. Let me tell you this, and here is where the harsh part starts, but it needs to be, all the things you told me he said to you and the vibe you described, i've experienced it myself plenty of times and heard the same thing about friends' experiences. Yes, I do believe he liked you and being a generally thoughtful and caring person by nature he might have ended up given you the feeling that it's a lot deeper than it actually was for him. This impression must have been even more intense for you as you said you didn't feel someone caring for you like that in a long time. One harsh thing to realize about dating and relationships is, there is no such thing as 'the wrong time' or someone being 'too caught up' in some thing or the other. How many times in my life did I hear that stupid excuse just to see the same people be in a relationship or in some extreme cases get straightup engaged mere months later. If the right person for anyone roles around, they're going to create space for them in their lives. At the end of the day, a person you want to stay together forever with, you want to stick with them through thick and thin, so it doesn't matter where you are in life or what life throws your way. If someone says that, it just means 'you are not priority enough to make that space and tackle life together'. It is a bitter and harsh thing to realize, but it is important to realize, because it will help you to make a clean cut, stop wasting your energy and emotions towards a fruitless pursuit and will free you up to direct your attention ahead and not into the past. What I think happened, plain and simple, is that he figured after some month that he can't see himself in a long term relationship with you. He might actually regret he didn't restrict it to be just a friendship to begin with, but once you overstepped that boundary of being just friends, sorry to say girl, but it's basically impossible to go back from there. I do think he really liked you as a person, which is why he felt bad braking up and offering you to continue to stay friends (the way you describe him I actually do not think he was trying to just keep you around as a rebound option, which btw. some people do). Another aspect of it is that no guy likes to feel like an a*hole, especially not if they are by nature not one. But obviously he's going to end up feeling that way having to admit to himself and to you that this is just not gonna be it. So that's when you get to hear the same old stuff millions of people heard a thousand times 'It's not you, it's me.', 'I really do like you, but there is so much going on in my life.', 'I'll always care about you.', 'You're a wonderful person.' and so on. No, girl, they know they are hurting you, so they say these things to feel a bit less of a jerk while doing so. That's really all it is. Again, I am not denying that he may be a good and nice person, who was frankly considering you for some time. But for your own good do not fool yourself into thinking that this was anything but a breakup before it can get too deep for comfort with a few quite commonly used means of emotional damage control. And Cassie, this says nothing about you as a person and your value as a woman. It took me so many painful years to learn this, someone breaking up with you DOES NOT REFLECT YOUR WORTH. All it says is just that one person felt, this specific combination of people is not going anywhere, and one should rather be grateful if those people who are already having shaky feelings about you will step out of your life sooner than later. Nobody, not man nor woman, EVER are in a position where they should have to beg to stay together or hope for someone to come back. NO! Move on! You are a person who can give A LOT to a partner and if someone is not able to recognize that and stick with you through thick and thin, they're not the right person for you. I know that feeling close to someone, feeling cared for and the feeling of vibing with someone is super addictive and when it's taken from you it's like actual withdrawal symptoms. But at the end of the day a successful relationship is not only about that, at the end of the day it's about if people are willing to make each other a priority and go through thick and thin with each other. You will find the love of your life, Cassie. I am sure of it. Wipe your tears, start looking ahead, it'll all fall into place eventually. Lots of love from a fellow person with Dermotillomania and some who found the love of her life at 29.

When a guy sad I'm not prepared for a serious relation right now with some one. It means not prepared to have it with YOU actually.

Oh Cassie, I'm so sorry and you/this is not stupid in the least bit :( I want to tell you this story, I really hope it doesn't offend you. I was in this situation about six years ago. I had been in a relationship for about a year and out of the blue, he broke up with me. I was devastated, inconsolable. My dad sat on the couch next to me, mid cry session, and told me that this was going to be the best thing that ever happened to me. I was so mad at him for saying thing that to me. How dare he, right? The love of my life just left me and I was heart broken. But those words stuck with me. I had stopped looking for love after that, every day I hoped this man would come back to me. A few months later I took my laptop to a local repair shop and made small talk with the tech behind the counter. After I left, I was telling my friends about how "weird" and "nerdy" this guy was and out of the blue I got a text from him. And the rest is history. We just celebrated our four year wedding anniversary and we have a seven month old son. This weird, nerdy man is the best thing that has ever happened to me. And I found him when I wasn't looking. Moral of the story? Maybe, just maybe, this is going to be the best thing to ever happen to you. And your weird and nerdy super man may be waiting around the corner ❤️

He only offered to be friends to make himself feel better about hurting you. There are most likely other reasons he broke up with you besides problems at work. If he wanted to be with you, he wouldn't have let you go. Try to move on and someone right will come along... or maybe after cutting yourself off from him and not being so available, he will change his mind.

anyone else watching this in 2020 after Cassie announced she’s getting back with this guy lol

Bless you...dont make excuses for him, don't let him lean on you, don't be his prop, don't be his friend. Cut him out, block him. You are better than he deserves. I'm 52 and have heard all this..i'm not ready, You're too good for me etc etc etc.... i have met those guys that epitomise the most wondrous boyf with fun, romance, best friendiness etc, then inexplicably go distant. I concluded they want the illusion of a relationship, not the actual real deal. Just wave him bye bye and crack on with your fabulous life. It sounds brutal but your kind heart will let him back in, only to be hurt again. Move away from him lovely girl and look after yourself first and foremost. He can take his issues somewhere else. Xx

... smartest thing you have done is rejecting the "staying friends" idea... for a man, there's no such thing as "This is a bad time". Men fall in love at work, while married, on death bed, in other most uncomfortable and inconvenient situations - and it doesn't stop them. Just accept the fact that he didn't want a relationship with you, digest it and move on lightheartedly, as there's nothing wrong with that - or with you, for that matter. Not everyone is a match, life isn't Tinder. It's just a guy, there will be the next one, for sure.

I know this comment might sound harsh but I’m just being as honest as I would to a best friend or a sister. I think he isn’t into you. Trust me on this, when a guy is into you he does whatever it takes to be with you, it doesn’t matter work troubles, family drama etc etc if he wants to call he will, if he wants to see you he will, if he wants a relationship he will put on the work and have one. Idk why women keep making excuses for guys. I’m so sorry you are hurting, I hope you feel better soon and eventually find a guy that wants to do whatever it takes for you. Sending you many hugs 🤗

Cassie. You don’t want a man who’s going to run away when things get tough! Job trouble is the least of the problems you will encounter with a significant other in life. If he retreats during that... that’s a sign to RUN!

girl, he wants a relationship.. just not with you. Being friend's isn't a good idea and neither is telling him you'll just leave the door open and he can come back whenever he wants. He knows now he can have you on the back burner and saying that shows where your self love truly is... you deserve way better than this buster, seriously. He will date and he likely is. I did this too and wasted so much time doing exactly what you are doing.

I don't want to sound brutal, but guys are single minded. if he wanted to be with you, he'd be with you. NO DOUBT. Ask any guy you are close to as friends - Him saying he'll never date again? He wants your sympathy, but doesn't want to lead you on. He isn't into you enough to stretch. Who wants a man like that.?? NOT you..

I hate hate hate to say this but he just wasn’t into you as much as you were into him. If someone likes you they will move mountains to be by your side. Where there’s a will there’s a way. What he told you is very similar to what every guy says. It’s textbook.

Every single woman needs to read He's Just Not That Into You. This is a classic scenario. A guy saying the timing isn't right, I can't be in a relationship right now is ALWAYS an excuse. Him having stuff going on with his job has nothing to do withit. If you're having a rough time in your life you want to be with your partner for support, not run away. The faster you are able to detach and recognize when someone is just not that into you, the faster you will recognize the right person.

I think you are giving this guy way too much credit in the emotion department. He sounds honestly like he just wasn't interested enough in you to want to go any further. He isn't some tortured soul, guys don't usually let their work struggles affect who they want to be with. This guy just wasn't meant for you. You will find the one who will let NOTHING stop him from being with you.

I was dumped out of no where in a parking lot after dinner with his parents discussing holiday plans. We had such a great relationship for a year and out of no where he told me things weren’t working out. Needless to say, I was blindsided. It does hurt, but it will get better. A year after that, I met my now husband. Your forever person is someone out there and it will happen. I am glad you are feeling better. 😊

You did the right thing. If you stay 'friends' with him, he gets his cake and eats it too, right ? also, you would be waiting for him to come back to you and close your mind to other men.. I'm so proud of you for speaking up for yourself.. You are beautiful, and you are a catch. Its not easy finding the right person to love, but once you do find the one - its obvious to BOTH of you.. stay chill and love yourself. You are a strong woman and will do whats right. I am sending you hugs - I've been where you are and its not fun.

Oh girl, this was so painful to watch. Mostly because I have been there as well. I sympathize with you. However, I have learned that if a man wants you nothing will keep him away, and if a man doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay. The more available and willing you are to accommodate him at this time will make him pull away even more - because he's going to feel smothered. I mean, imagine if a guy you didn't like was constantly bugging you - you would feel trapped and want to escape even more. Cassie, please read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus". You are such a kind heart and I can see that you want the best for him, but asking him if he'll ever want to get back with you and wanting to be there for him and help him make you seem more desperate - and there's nothing less attractive. Just think about it from the other perspective. We find people who are "scarce" to be more attractive because they seem out of our reach. This is why men go for women who seem to be ambivalent toward them (in general). I really hope you take the advice of these lovely intelligent ladies in the comment section because you DO deserve someone who will care for you the way you obviously still care about this man. It's time to let him go, girl.

Don't cry for someone who doesn't want u in their life don't worry about him anymore worry about you life is a train people come and leave when it their time. Don't worry about his job situation if he is not happy he will find another job he seems to think of himself 100% and leave when he is not happy

When a guy says "im not ready" he is just not into you. You are better off without him, you deserve to be loved! ❤️

You are not gonna find someone... someone is gonna find YOU and he is gonna find a treasure and he is gonna be the happiest man in the world, let him find you. Keep your head up so the first thing he sees are those beautiful eyes of yours.

Breaking up with someone in public is trash

He’s a grown man he can take care of himself. I’d take the whole “he’s just not that into you” route. You deserve better than a guy who is wishy washy. Don’t let him think you’re sitting there brooding over him. You got this .

Cassie, I wish we could talk. I have depression and anxiety, too. I gave up on dating in my 30s. I thought I was undeserving of romantic love. I met my husband when I was 41 and we married when I was 43. We have a great relationship. When it's right, you will know it. It should not be hard. You are a good person. You will find someone when the time is right. Chin up and hugs!

Cassie I love that you’re opening up with us! I would love you to share more of your personal life with us but i completely understand if you decide not to because everyone needs a part of their life to be private and personal. But I’m sorry you’re going through this tough time in your life. Thank you for making this video and venting to us Cassie we are always here for your sweet soul. I hate seeing you cry but at the same time it’s always nice to cry it out and vent it out. We love you and are always here for you!

26 & 28 are still young. I see you being with someone a bit older than you. Someone mature,established. ... You're a prize Cassie,you need to believe that. Big Hug♡ Sweetheart ♡

I’ve heard the “I’m not ready” speech several times the last 2 years. Both times they were suddenly ready for relationships within a 2 week period and married within the year. Don’t focus on him. Focus on you. What makes you happy. Self care isn’t selfish. It’s healthy.

Phew girl, you dodged a bullet. Nobody needs a flake.

Here for you cassie! My boyfriend of five years one day didnt know what he wanted and left, I'm still healing. I'm hurting. I see you're hurting and I'm here for you.

Someone once said this "You don't love him you loved the way he made you feel about yourself, because your self worth is very low" and that resonated with me. Sometimes we can cling to a relationship for the wrong reasons thinking they are the perfect person for us but it is an illusion. You are a beautiful woman inside and out. But until we as woman realize our worth we will always fall for a guy for the wrong reasons. A breakup always is sad and painful. To anyone going through this, Hang in there, you will get through this even though you feel like you never will.

Dear Cassie, stop finding excuses for him. You are not his keeper. Refocus on you. You are on the right track and maybe this slows you down, but don't let it stop you. We all have to take these rejections, kiss a lot of frogs to finally find that Prince. At least you have good instinct. Don't look for love, look for fun and love will find you. You deserve it.

A bad day or week at work i s no reason to break up with someone. Men will cover being guilty with any excuse. Close that chapter girl. I know it hurts but he does not deserve your energy. You are worthy of such a better man. He is out there and everything happens for a reason. Stay strong

I watched the entire thing, all 45 minutes and I couldn’t look away. You have got to be one of the kindest and most genuine women I’ve ever come across. It was really brave of you to post this and really powerful watching it. That you could be so empathetic toward him when you were the one broken up with just shows what a big-hearted person you are. Don’t ever be afraid to show a potential partner this video, in fact I would highly recommend doing just that, because if they aren’t immediately impressed by this no-holds barred look into your heart, they aren’t worthy of occupying a spot in it. It’s completely obvious you are one of the good ones and I hope you find a man worthy of standing beside you.

He is just not into you. That’s it. It’s harsh but when you get some distance you’ll gain perspective and you’ll see it clearly. And you will be OK with it. That’s on him. Word of wisdom: stop trying to rationalize these things. “He wants a relationship but he’s not ready” - that’s not how most men think. He either accepted he wasn’t that into you and didn’t want to string you along, or he met someone else. Whatever it may be. Kudos to him for actually breaking up with you, most people wouldn’t even bother. How lame is it that the standard is so low. But it’s true. Listen, everybody has their stories. I was in a relationship with a cold/hot guy who was the smartest, most interesting person I had ever met. I felt grateful for whatever time he made for me in his busy life, that’s now disproportionate the relationship was. It wasn’t timing, it wasn’t anything. He was not compatible with the person I was. I cried for days, I went to therapy, I went through every little thing to try and understand it. But I never ever called him. I saw it was never going to get better and I saw he was always going to be looking out for whatever else was out there. And I was like.. fuck this. I can’t deal with this anxiety. I broke up with him and I knew he was going to try and hang out with me again. After a week or so he called me, then texted me, always a few days apart, always just to “check in”, to tell me he missed me. I knew him. I learned so much from that shitshow. I learned about myself. He got married a couple of years after that and to this date, he still texts me every once in a while with whatever excuse he has “just to check in and see how things are going”. Good people don’t treat other people like crap. Period. I feel sorry for his wife, she’s always going to live with that anxiety. I, on the other hand, learned about myself, focused on my job for a couple of years, traveled, had fun, took care of myself, and stopped looking for things. I met my husband 2 years ago and we got married after 3 months of dating. We just knew. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. Because I married a GOOD person. Stop trying to look for mr. Right. When you’re in that mindset all pigs look like a prince. Sorry to be so blunt, but that’s the reality. He just didn’t want you. “It might be possible he’s just hurting as much as I’m hurting”? Nope, he doesn’t care. Pick yourself up and move on

I know this is old but Cassie I had to give you some advice. If a man is into a woman, they will make it work. He just wanted out and was trying to let you down easy. Don't feel bad for him, let him go.

Thank you for feeling safe enough to post this. It makes us closer to you. We love and respect you and you are so very worthy of real true love. It will come to you. It can't possibly not. Beautiful souls gravitate to beautiful souls. And you are a beautiful soul as well as a beautiful human. Keep on being open to love without searching for it. It will find you. I promise

Cassie, my dear. The amount of time doesn’t matter. If you have a connection, you have a connection. You have every right to feel the things you feel. You have every right to grieve. I was in this situation two years ago, it was only an 8 month relationship but when it ended.. it almost killed me, sometimes it still does. I felt exactly the way you do now, listening to your thoughts... they remind me of my own. You are not alone ❤️ I also want to say, the things you are describing are love. Feeling no ill will, wanting someone to be happy, that’s love. Even if it’s not romantic love, it’s love.

Stop! For the sake of your own self love, stop thinking of their feelings. Also, stop wanting him to seek help. He’s an adult. So what if he feels abandoned. Feeling abandoned by someone you don’t know well isn’t healthy for adults. By the way, did you notice how many times you wished him happiness and how many times you called him a good person. Damn it! Want that happiness for yourself!!!

Want my story too? Hope so. I have 3 children by 2 different men. 1st daddy I wasn't married to, but he's been an awesome dad to our daughter. 2nd father to my 28 years old twins was a POS and we were married. Abusive doesn't even cover it. We split up finally and I dated several guys I met online, met a guy at my work and we dated for about 3 years until he got a habitual felony DWI conviction and I finally opened my eyes. Our person is out there Cassie, it just sometimes take going through Hell to find him/her. I found mine at 40 years old. We've been together for 15 years, he has helped repair hurt in my home and showed my teenage kids first thing what loving their mother looks like. I"m going through medical issues right now as well as my depression is kicked in full blown, and he's holding me up every step of the way. You will pull through this. I promise you. XOXO

This is what the internet needs..RAW material. Your courage for being so transparent and honest is both acknowledged and appreciated. I would also like to applaud you for your level of self-awareness. I know it's easier said than done, but PLEASE don't blame yourself for anything...it's his own personal problem, not yours. You're just hard on yourself and as you said, you may be projecting your own feelings about yourself onto him, and you DO need to be kind to yourself...always. We know how hard this is for you and we are here for you. You'll get through this. You're strong. Take good care of yourself💗

I know it must've taken you a lot to put your personal life out there,but I just want to say thank you. A lot of people are going through the same things and this really helps. Stay positive. Xo

I've always liked the the saying, Never keep someone as a priority in your life when they only see you as a option!

Guys aren't tough to read. If they want to be with you they will be with you. This guy you are talking about was trying to let you down easily. Move on. You seem very intense. Maybe you are coming on too strong too quickly. Slow down. Nothing scares people away faster than coming off as desperate.

I know you want to keep your private life private. But I really like you that you are sharing this bit of yourself. I think a LOT of girls can relate to you. Especially about just naming a guy to be like 'sure I got a crush ha ha' because boooy have I been there. I just didn't care back then. And you opening up about this experience will probably be really good for a lot of young people. Finding love is so hard, and you rarely see people be open and honest about the crap show that can be the dating life. Though...eventually you'll find the one who will fight for you and will love you so much because you deserve that. You're wonderful, Cassie, and someone will see that soon enough.

This will not be popular advice but I am 62 and have years of experience. You absolutely did the right thing. Cut the tie, because if you don't it will keep your wounds open. Work on yourself, you are on the right track. FWIW I went through the same stuff over and over until I met a great guy and have now been married 30 years. Someone once gave me great advice. It was this, don't try to be a man's helper, mother. Men leave their mothers. Get to a healthy place and form a relationship with a man who wants to be with you because he HAS to be with you he wants you so much and someone who sees your worth. 💗💗💗

Catching up on old videos and wishing I could give old Cassie a hug and let her know she survived and seems to be in great place in 2022!! She made it through a global pandemic!! She can get through anything!! 💪 💪 😚🤗

Oh sweetie, trust this really really late bloomer (my 1st relationship was when I was 30!!!). A man worth being with will ALWAYS make time for you bc he'll think ur the best damn thing to come into his life. I met my husband at 34, and learned when it's right, it doesn't hurt and there aren't any doubts about each other. Trust me, cultivate the most important relationship, the one u have with yourself. I travelled the world on my own and learned multiple languages. My boyfriend (now husband) said he never met a stronger, more well rounded, confident woman. Once he found me he said he would have moved heaven and earth to make sure I wanted him back. I was 34!!!! I was set to be alone forever.... bc i realized i was a pretty awesome person on my own. You will learn how awesome u really are, and then a man will move heaven and earth to b with u too!

You are such a kind and beautiful soul. I never comment, but I watch most of your videos and you're one of the few RU-vidrs I follow for more than their jobs and what they offer like that...you're such a wonderful person. Someday, another person will see that too at the same time that you'll see the beauty in you reflected in them, and it'll work out and be easy. You've got this. You've always got this.

Baby baby no:( let mama give you some soul food. Cry it ouuut. Then thug it out. 1.I'll never date again=I'll never date YOU again. You did something that set him off into thinking your clingy so hes trying to hush you up. 2. If hes searching on sites he WANTS A RELATIONSHIP. 3. DO NOT PUT YOURSELF ON HOLD FOR ANY MAN FOR ANY REASON. IF HES ON THE FENCE ABOUT YOU PUSH HIM OFF! NO MAN IS WORTH THAT EMOTIONAL DRAMA. 4. MAYBE HE JUST DIDNT SEE A FUTURE BETWEEN YOU TWO AND THATS PERFECTLY OK. SOMETIMES WE DNT VIBE. 5. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,SMART,CARING,SILLY AND ALL THE GOOD THINGS A WOMAN SHOULD BE. DNT CRY OVER SPILT MILK BABY. I LOVE YOU.

He met someone else. Boom. Its very obvious. It was like "squirrel".......and he needs time to chase that other thing. Simple. Had really nothing to do with you.

He's not and never was "the guy". From what you explained in the video...you put more into the relationship than he and sensed it and it scares him. He's not strong enough to just say what he really feels. The heartache will go away so just hang in there.."the guy" is out there.❤️😘🙋‍♀️

I absolutely love that she’s ugly crying(you’re not ugly Cassie I’m just using it as a general saying) , and being real and authentic. She’s not being overly positive she’s being real. She is so relatable and I see myself in her so much. I wish I could wrap my arms around you and give you the biggest hug. Feel better soon Cassie, I’ll be thinking of you!

I have said it before but.... Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to share a bit more of your personal life with us. I know it not easy. 💜

Girl, if he doesn't want to be with you, just let him go. Feelings aren't like a faucet...I know you just can't shut them off. But, he's not your "person" so don't make excuses for him. Better to find out now than after you've invested more than two month's worth of feelings and time. Take care of yourself and keep that beautiful chin up!!

Have you ever read the book, “He’s Just Not That Into You”? Read it. Changed my dating life. Found my love less than a year after realizing many truths, and now I am married with children. There is someone for you Cassie. It’s just not him.

That was super strong of you cutting him out your life. It's 100% the hardest thing to do but 100% the right thing to do. You're a kind soul so I understand why you want to be there for him to "lean on" but he's not willing/able to give you anything back and that's just not a balanced relationship. You deserve, and WILL get an equal and wonderfully happy relationship. Also, sometimes the "omg me too!" gets realllly boring, variety is the spice of life as they say! For the record, you are b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l, with a killer figure and personality to match! Sending lots of love ❤️

Once the relationship is over have a good cry, feel sick to your stomach but never look back. Move forward life is hard and men are unpredictable creatures. You are beautiful and will find someone 100% better.

Cassie, babe. Watch the movie “he’s just not that into you”. It is correct. 100% correct. When someone is into you, they will bend over backwards to have you and talk to you. A deployment separated me and my fiancé from each other for 6 months. We did everything to talk to each other everyday, despite the 10 hour time difference. We moved mountains to hear from each other. When you want something, you will find a way.

I will be honest Cassie regardless of work or any family problems couples that are meant to be come more together in those times they do not go distant. If he can't do that it's not worth it for you and he is probably not the guy your mean to be with. People will come and go that's how we learn who is meant to stay. If a guy doesn't know how to handle problems emotions with out hurting you or distancing then he's not someone that will be able to last in a long term relationship. You deserve the best do not give up. Breaking up sucks but at least now you know. Dry those tears and keep your head up babe. Your way to nice hunni let him go. Make room for the one you will find him. I have been there i know heart break we all have. Please let it go for your own good. Think about yourself and keep working on you. HUGS! 💖💖

My heart hurts really bad when you say you think you don’t really attract people and that it is because of the way you look. No way!!! You are so smart and clever and such a nice person... AND YOU ARE REALLY PRETTY!!!! You really deserve someone who will love you and who will care for you more than anyone in the world. I am sending you hugs from Prague xx

Cassie you're beautiful. Please don't be so hard on yourself. The first time I started dating after a long time of being single, I fell deep. Then I realized the pain came from loneliness more than him in particular. I wanted him to be something he wasn't, I sort of put his ordinary, respectful behavior on a pedestal and made it extraordinary- in hindsight, to fill a void that I had to fill for myself...if that makes sense. You're gorgeous babe, inside and out; he was just a trial run for the actual "perfect guy" that's coming up in your future. Remember that, so you can ready when he comes. The universe gives us only what we are ready to receive. Cyber hugs. 💜

I think he just wasn’t that into you

Sorry to be devils advocate but men leave women for other women. Grass is always greener for them in my experience. They like to make up stories so nit to feel quilty. I’m 51 and have had my share of dates etc Stay yourself Be strong. Express your opinions and love will find you

„I just want someone to accept my love“ god, I wasn’t crying but that one broke me. I feel the exact same thing. I like to think that I would have so much to give and that guys are stupid for staying with other girls. Maybe I am just flattering myself but for the past 23 years I just wanted someone to take my heart and not shatter it on the floor.

I’ve never related to anyone more on this platform. I felt this in MY SOUL. You are absolutely not alone, my love.

Dude he didn't want a relationship...but you found him through a dating site!!! 😑

Cassie, from the bottom of my heart... I *feel* you. And I have three words for you: Anxious Attachment Style... please look it up. Much love and please don‘t forget that it‘s *your* happiness you should focus on now.🍀🍀🍀

Thank you for opening up and sharing your experience ❤❤ I went through something very similar myself and it was so hard. You have a really high level of self awareness and empathy, and you deserve someone who can give you what you need. Hang in there ❤

Why do people break up with people in publik? On top of being heartbroken you also feel humiliated. Guys do what you have to do, but do it in private for gods sake.

I feel sad that you believed that guy's schpiel for one minute.

cassie i feel you and relate to you in many ways, you have a heart of GOLD, i hope things work out for you. wether it be with him or someone else, your compassion is your biggest charm. hopefully the right person admires that rather than taking it for granted

Cassie, I know it won’t help but I think you did the right thing. Being friends with someone you’re in love with when they’re emotionally unavailable is a form a torture. I’m so glad you’re brave enough to both know what is best for you and do what is best for you. It’s never easy when you’re used to not taking care of yourself and now that you have been taking care of yourself it makes you feel selfish. You’re not selfish. It would be selfish to hold on when he needs to be alone. Speaking from personal experience here. It’s okay to be sad and heartbroken. I’m glad it’s getting better and it’ll keep getting better but don’t feel defeated if the feelings lessen and then rush back. It’s part of the process. -hugs- We all adore you Cassie and if you ever need another cathartic video we’re all here for you.

Just to be honest...if he wanted to be with you romantically then he would no matter what. I think the movie says it all..he’s just not that into you..in that way possibly. Hope that doesn’t seem harsh..just know you will find someone.

Cassie, relationships are hard & some times we struggle to get it right. I'm a therapist, (also a woman who's older than you,) so please let me pass on what I try to help people see about relationships & why they fail. We tend to approach them with our hormones, if we think the person is physically attractive, we're interested. We then tend to see in the person something that convinces us we're right to be attracted. We see the 'nice' side & gloss over the 'not what we want' side. (Later on we realize that.) This is the wrong approach, & what this guy told you amplifies that. Ironically we put more thought into what type of vehicle we should buy & if it will suit our needs than we put into what type of person we need, to be able to be our life partner. The first thing we need to do before looking for someone to date is really get to know ourselves. Even if you think you do, I'll bet like most people, you don't really. Ask yourself, what do you need from the other person? (In detail.) Do you need someone who can be there often to reassure you, (& how much is 'often'; what type of reassurance), do you need someone who needs reasurrance from you, do you need someone who gives you as much space as you need, do you need someone who can be with you constantly, etc. What's important to you in life, & why is it important? What do you enjoy doing? E.g. I always thought what mattered to me was not the activity but who I'm doing it with. Turns out that's only partly true. Things I don't like: swimming, snow, getting rained on, flying, boating, (& many other things,) & I would never enjoy them with anyone. I can't swim, am insecure about how I look in a swimsuit, take forever to get ready so don't want snow/rain to destroy my hard work, & get airsick/seasick/carsick easily. So learn to know yourself truthfully. You said you want to feel cared about, but that's a subjective description. What behavior would the other person need to do to make you feel cared about? What types if things do you want them to care about? What they think should make you feel cared about might not match up with what you think makes you feel cared about. Once you really know yourself, then think about where people who could meet your needs might hang out. E.g. If you want someone that won't want to go boating, don't hang out at the local marina, no matter how much you feel attracted to men in swimsuits. Right now you need someone who can accept that you need to focus on some of your own issues. Stay away from men who have issues of their own anywhere, past relationships, at work, family etc. And remember, you can't fix another person's problems, they have to do it themselves. You wanted to help him deal with his issues & feel loved, but did he want that or was it your need to do it? Is it that you really want to help him solve his problems, or is it really that you want to nurture someone? If it's the latter, you'll get sick of his problems & start resenting his neediness. What you think is being supportive the other person might find clingy, or pushy. It might not be what they think being supportive is. So really define for yourself what supportive means to you. Also remember that for the first long while both of you are trying to look good to the other person. We don't usually hang out in our old sweatpants right away. We also are way more agreeable than we would usually be about things. (It's called the honeymoon period in a relationship.) So don't give much credit to what you think you're seeing in the other person for the first while, what you are seeing is what they're willing to show. Same with you. The belches & farts come out later, & then you see the real person. What you are grieving is probably the man you thought he might be rather than the man he really is. In the end, he looked after what he needed, he let you get close then decided a relationship with you isn't what he wanted, so that is one of his characteristics that will show up in other ways. If you're a person who wants him to put you first, he may be someone who won't except maybe over small issues. Hope some of this makes sense for you, sweetie. You are a beautiful, kind woman, but like the rest of us, you do have your own needs in life & in a relationship. Get to really understand what they are first, & you'll meet the right guy.

Girl, firstly - it’s very brave to put out such an emotionally raw video like this. So thank you for allowing us into this very intimate and private part of your life. Breakups are tough for everyone. Make sure you allow yourself to feel whatever it is you’re feeling. Grieving is important. But make sure you don’t stay stuck in the mentality that you’ll never be able to open up to someone again. Because it’s not true! Life is a journey! You meet everyone for a reason. Keep your head up and just know that your soul mate is out there, searching for you, don’t give up! ❤️

"You are going to be happy," said life, "but first, I'll make you strong." You will get through this Cassie! And whether it's with this guy or not, you will find someone that will fight for you every day. You will find that person! In the mean time, we're here for you. We love you!

I’m younger than you and I have struggled so much dating as well. It’s not easy finding someone who you connect with, specially since I relate to being so closed off and private until I feel secure and comfortable with someone. My mom recently told me “ I hope you come to realize that being alone and happy, is much better than being with someone and miserable”. Being alone isn’t always easy, but it’s never worth staying with someone who doesn’t appreciate you. I want you to find happiness and I hope you do, but I’m glad you know you deserve so much and shouldn’t settle for less.

Cassie, I am going through a similar situation and I cried while watching this video. You are a strong girl and I am so proud of you for posting this vulnerable moment in your life.

This broke my heart, I know how bad that feels... Stay strong love♥♥

I don't agree with some of the people that are certain he's just not into you. That could be the case, but it is very possible he's just not in a good place right now. My situation isn't "the norm" but a guy and I dated for a few months, then he broke up with me. I hoped he'd change his mind but we had no contact. My friend did some snooping a few weeks later and found that he'd left the state. I live in Alaska, so that's a big deal. People can't just drive to the next state to see someone if they live here. So, I gave up and went on with my life. A year and a half later he wrote me a letter. I didn't respond. A month or so after that I was going to a wedding and the guy who was going with me backed out. He was the only one I could think of to ask to stand in. I left him a message. After that I talked to my best friend and my sister who were furious. So, by the time he called me back I told him I changed my mind and we ended the conversation. I went to the wedding by myself that night. I doubted that decision though. I've never ever let someone back in my life before but I wanted to. I waited about another month and called him. We dated about a year and then we got married. That was almost 16 years ago. Sometimes a person really is just going through something and needs to figure themselves out. I don't want to give you false hope. I just want to say no one knows for certain what he's thinking or feeling but him. Don't blame yourself. Keep on keepin on and whatever is meant to happen will, whether it's with him or someone better for you. Also, I just got to the end of your video. Your feelings are NOT trivial or stupid. Heartbreak hurts. Thank you for sharing with us. 💚

Every time I’ve fallen in love, it happened so quickly. No more than a week. I don’t believe in the “too soon” notion. When you find that person Cassie, you will know relatively quickly in my opinion. It will happen, it will be magical, and it will be right 😊❤️

Idk why I’m watching a woman talking about her middle school crushes but here I am

Cassie,you are an amazing,beautiful,funny an smart woman. Any man would be honored to have you as his own! You deserve to have all things wonderful in life!! And you will find that!! Your right,one day you will look back and realize he really wasn't the one. You aren't alone Cassie! I was 15 when I got pregnant and spent 21yrs of my life with him and that ended about 7 yrs ago. At the time I thought I was going to die...my heart and soul were crushed! I lost about 50lbs and didnt think I could get through. It took a lot of soul searching and lots and lots of tears but about 6 months later I truly found myself and who I really was and realized I deserved soo much better. I dont regret all those years of being with him because we have 3 wonderful children who are now grown and I found me!! Today i am happier then ever and I'm engaged to a wonderful man who loves me for exactly who i am. My point is Cassie that you are a beautiful person and you will find that one person who is perfect and deserves your live and it's a good thing to find out sooner then later. Hugs sent your way😘🧡🦋

Guys hit a point where they panic in a relationship, doesn't matter who you are or they are. Sounds like he hit that point and the roll of the mental man dice didn't go your way. It sucks but it's not worth to beat yourself up over it, because this is literally a it's them not you situation.

Time is your friend. It will give you perspective. Just don’t be a doormat - respect yourself.

Whyyyyyy do people break up with people in public places??? Just go to the person's house and save them the bullshit of being emotional in front of strangers

He’s just not that into you. Anything else is an excuse he’s giving to either lessen the blow of that or relieve some of his own guilt. The guy with the kid was at least honest about it. I’d seriously take a break from dating until you work on your own issues and anxious attachment style relationships/codependent habits.

I do agree with you in that it’s very hard to stay friends with someone you care about, but they aren’t in the right place. Friendship in cases like this, only keep you emotionally attached and hoping that they will have a change of heart. Cassie, you are an amazing person and you will find the right person with time. Many hugs to you!! Hope you find Mr. Right soon

Cassie... this is bizarre... I've literally just been through the same thing. Beat for beat. Even down to the day, the excuse, the feeling of knowing it was going to happen. The joking afterwards. We've agreed to be best friends still, but you just have that worry constantly. Hearing you talk about it has made me feel reflective on my own dynamic. You're so beautiful, and charismatic, and i dont want to be like ha itll all come out in the wash! Because its horrible to hear. I just feel like its important to know that people are paralleling you 💕 sending so much love

Im here after the last date

This was painful to listen to. It felt like she was hoping he would see this and realize he made a huge mistake , and I can’t blame her. I’ve been tempted in the past to write a long letter to the guy who dumped me who I still loved... get him to realize how much I cared. But IMO, she went about getting dumped all wrong lol Whether you’re a guy or a girl, if you get dumped, you never, ever beg them to reconsider, you don’t try to “reason” with them. As hard as it is, you can’t do mental gymnastics, making excuses for why they did it. 9 times out of 10, and certainly it seems in this case, they just aren’t that into you, and that’s hard to accept but it happens to the best of us and it’s nobody’s fault and it doesn’t mean you’re unlovable. The truth is guys don’t dump girls they’re really into for many reasons, and definitely not because of issues at work. It sounds like he realized he wasn’t as invested or into it as her, and he did the right thing and ended it as kindly and gently as possible. And she is just bending over backwards to be there for him when she needs to cut off all contact and start looking for the right one.

I'm sorry about your heartbreak. You're an amazing person, and you will find someone who is all in and values you/sees that.

What a shitty thing to do, breaking up with you in a public space! The least he could do is break it to you in a place where you could process in private... men! 😤

Thinking of you Cass! It’s such a hard thing to go through and I hope that you are able to find someone who sees how amazing you are and wants to open themselves up, you deserve to be loved, cherished and appreciated! ❤️❤️

I'm 19 and I recently just went through something similar. The way you feel, and your reaction was literally the exact same as mine. It took me a few weeks of crying, denial and giving him excuses before I realized exactly what it was. He just was not into me. It was not timing or anything. For whatever reason, he just did not feel it. And honestly, that is okay. It is okay to not love someone. Love is not something that can be forced. Contrary to what others think, I do not think he is a bad person. I do not think he is manipulative. I think he did care about you, but not in the way that you wanted. Breakups are hard on both sides, and I think that him wanting to stay friends was his way of lessening the blow of hurting you. What would be manipulative is if he stayed in a relationship that he knew was not right deep down. Girl, I feel your pain so genuinely but you just have to keep your head up and realize your worth as a person. Rejection is one of the hardest things to face because it just makes you feel awful about yourself but you must realize that this is all him. It is nothing that you did. you are such a beautiful person and you deserve someone who will love you with everything in them! love you!!