OPPOSITE SEX FRIENDS WHILE IN A RELATIONSHIP (EP. 36) 

On point.. huge red flag when someone can’t let go or change the nature of attachments with the opposite sex ..

People have to understand when you're single you lived that life of freedom and now you're in a relationship you have to create BOUNDARIES. Having friends of the opposite sex isn't the only thing that needs boundaries there will other things that will be adjusted. Being single and taken is two different mindsets. When you're in a committed relationship you have another person feelings that you have to take into consideration.

This is a Mature conversation that a lot of people need to have.

THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT ! So many people thinks its acceptable to have friends of the opposite sex and I've never believed in that...like people now n days think its okay to comment under others posts with emojis, commenting on their photos and videos with love language...hanging out, etc...even married men think its okay to go out to eat with single women and I am so happy to see guys of my age on this podcasts speaking against what so many people believe. Its not insecure, people will always try to find a loophole to go with worldly desires instead of the desires God has for us.

Whatever friends you have need to be friends of the marriage and there is ZERO secrecy or private meetings - no one who is an Ex gf or Ex bf as old flames ignite Be safe out there Don’t ruin your long term marriage over a stupid friendship

I don't see anything controlling. I think this is a healthy display of boundaries (can be rare these days) and appreciate this conversation so I can be prepared for these conversations when I get in my next serious relationship. Great content thank yall 🙏🏽

I just love how serious you guys are about your relationships, It’s so attractive! God bless 😊

I agree with this segment. I was living with my ex together 3 years. He was always on the phone with his female friends some had boundaries some did not. Come to find out he was sleeping with his “friend” that he would fix her car, call after 10pm. So I definitely agree to have boundaries and meet the friends as not all friendships are platonic and innocent. Beware of lying mates that call you insecure or controlling because you ask a question or want to meet their people. Great content as usual N&N Team.

I think in order for someone to understand where y’all are coming from they have to first identify if they’ve been in a relationship that was serious enough to visit these ideas. Currently I’m married but even prior to that when my husband and I were dating we knew that if we wanted a future together it was important to have healthy boundaries. Love fades, and there are times where the reality of humanity kicks in, especially if you’re going through a rough patch in your relationship. Having boundaries in place to me is just another protective measure to ensure the success of your relationship. Boundaries to me are also a sign of respect in a relationship as well. Also, if you’re not ok with reasonable boundaries in a relationship then you may need to re-evaluate you’re relationship, because when you value something you respect and protect it.

This is exactly what a grown and mature conversation looks and sounds like. Not everyone will understand and that’s okay. But I appreciated this episode. If you are working to build with a partner, work towards what’s conducive for the relationship instead of the things that may work against it. Consider your partner in the ways you would want to be considered. I loved what was said, “when you don’t communicate the devil narrates”. Much love to y’all men ✨🙏🏾

I appreciate this conversation these men had! I literally just had to cut a dude off because he still “friends” with his ex girlfriend and he’s not willing to cut ties with her so, thanks for the confirmation I needed that to remove him permanently! I appreciate the information y’all are sharing! I am currently on the dating scene so fingers crossed 🥰😇

OH AND ALSO, it’s perfectly okay for your boundaries to be rooted in your insecurities as long as they are not harming others around you. I think we have to realize that a lot of things ARE things that we are insecure about but that doesn’t mean its necessarily bad, we just have to create a safety net around us which i think are what we call boundaries

this episode was very good! The 100% truth. People be letting everything slide and ask where things went wrong. There need to be respect and limits placed between the relationship and outside friendships.

Great topic! One band, One sound especially in marriage! No one is saying you can’t have friends but your friends should be mine and vice versa. Both parties should be comfortable and etiquette is a must. I’m friends with both my male friends wives. I don’t call or text at any time of night and I’ll always ask about their significant other whenever I speak with them and tell them to shout them out for me. It’s respect and appreciation for another woman and their relationship no matter how long I’ve known their husbands.

I just think with having friends of the opposite sex there should be an unwritten rule where it shouldn’t exist at all. Anything can happen especially if they are both attractive and they get along, that’s definitely a cause for chaos. When your trying to build a serious relationship with someone and you know you have a friend that is giving you signs that they are into you , thats when you need to let go of that relationship. Another thing is when you and your partner are arguing the first person you going to is your “best friend” to tell them about your feelings. Then they are going to just tell you oh you don’t deserve that and you should be with someone who will treat your right, etc. like there should just be noooooooo relationships outside of your relationship. PERIODT! Because it’s going to turn into a three way relationship eventually if you telling that person everything about your partner. Another thing is, there should be boundaries when communicating with the opposite sex reguardless. Like no flirting and being “too nice” none of that. It’s just you should do that out of respect for the person your with if you plan on being with them for the rest of your life. So I agreee there should be no opposite sex relationships!!! Y’all couldn’t have said it any better!

Once a relationship is in play, both individuals, or peoples (for those who are poly) in the relationship should be very aware of who each others friends are. Any new friends should be made together as a partnership. Making new single friends, when you’re in something serious doesn’t make sense (Red flag). I find that strong couples (including poly) usually make friends with other couples( incl. poly) who have the same interests and already fit into their friend network. Vice versa, I’ve seen weak (can be left for interpretation) couples (incl. poly) start making random friends…usually people who are single…those new friends don’t mix with the friend network…that’s where problems usually arise. The cards like insecure etc come into play.

I feel like there is no problem with having a friend that’s the opposite sex. It’s definitely boundaries but your woman/man isn’t your entirely existence or identity. You are not solely put on this earth just to please your woman/man. But I guess it depends on the person as well. Love the conversation.

Y’all been on 10 with all these great topics. Y’all keep climbing more heights and beating the odds

ONE OF THE BEST PODCASTS OUT HERE!!! I'm always sharing your videos with friends. Keep up the GREAT work, I can't wait to see what you all will bring to us in 2022!

I remember Steve Harvey saying “any man that is your friend is simply a patient man” I don't believe that. I think that view has more to do with him than “all men”.

Boundaries ….. In black in white !! “One band one sound !!” And I’m also tired insecurity being the scape goat !! “J” hit gold though !! Opposite sex friends if at all should not be solely exclusive to you . 🔥 out the gate !!

"One band, one sound" 😂💯 Love when that quote randomly resurfaces (it's rare so thanks for that). It can be applied to so many things, especially this topic. Great discussion y'all!

Watching you guys lately have been helping me change my mindset in terms of relationships and how the structure of a relationship should be built.

I love the season, fellas. Much respect!

First 6 minutes in...I agree with you Duke, it's called boundaries. Nothing more nothing less.

You guys helped me to understand the difference between security and insecurity ❤

To comment on the emotional support part. I think you do have the capacity to be there for your friends and even family. I don't think being in a relationship stops you from being there for people you care about. Yes there's boundaries but i don't think you have to choose.

Definitely agree with Omar's opening explanation of "it doesn't work" with exception...majority of the time it dont work."One band, One sound!!!! Yall did again fellas. Happy New and many blessings you you all🤗🥳

This was a really great episode! You all brought up some great points. Keep it going!

This was a great episode! Thank you for explaining a little bit about your village. One day please break down how your village started and how you established the codes and also talk about any issues you may have had if any with your homie's girl.

What an amazing conversation, some people aren't ready for it grown folks.So much wisdom and gems, grateful for you KINGS.

Grown man conversation. When he was like if you are out with my girl, don’t run. That’s a whole bar. 🎤

Let's goo! I've been waiting on this episode. About to lock in!

I can listen to you guys all day every day… Keep it up fellas🙌🏿

Men with sexual discipline are not superhumans. They are normal men who do not try to deceive themselves about their humanity. They are normal men that have the sensibility to have rules /boundaries that ensure there is never room for infidelity or other deviant sexual behaviors.

I just stumbled upon this podcast. I really like the flow of the show. Y'all are really chill and have great thought provoking questions to produce a different pov.

Thank you guys so much for having this conversation. You guys made this conversation look so easy, even though I’ve seen this conversation become difficult amongst friend groups many times. This is what it looks like when a group of self-aware men are all serious about their future.

Found you guys on Tik Tok and have been hooked ever since !! Loved this season btw, can’t wait to see more❤️👏🏽!!

This is sooooooooo good!!! Eye-opening!

It was such a good thing to talk about this subject. My compliments on how you all communicate in a calm and honest way. I see a lot of people with different opinions on this subject. But i think it doesn’t really matter if you are ok with it or not. What does matters is that you need to make sure that the person you are building a life with is on the same page as you on things like this. Because ain’t nobody got time to get into disscusions for things like this. not me in any case

I appreciate this conversation! It definitely had a more traditional feel to it. I also realized I’m a bit bias… I was like yeah for the things men shouldn’t do and how they should conduct themselves, but when it was flipped I was like oh snap! 👀🤭 Great episode! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

A lot of you guys should go and watch this week's episode of Insecure. The way Taurian handled Molly's interaction with her awkward male friend (who was even her ex-lover) is the vibe. Taurian's energy = Da Rules. This possessive "my girl can't" thing sounds like something I'd hear on a high school podcast. When you're with the right person everything is just chill and you don't have to institute rules of who your spouse can and can't hang out with because they'll just move the right way at all times.

I'm in a relationship rn & my partners want to go & meet up with his bestfriend who is a girl & I so agree with everything yall are saying & it exactly how I feel about it & I couldn't appreciate every thing yall have said coz it all so true... I am extremely worried & scared & anxious about it & yall have gave me answers on how he may be able to manage it ... I thank ya'll & love this video for yall being so authentic & transparent about it

I love the conversation, very mature and meaningful.

I believe a huge part of life is to build and nurture relationships. I don't think it's practical or even necessary to avoid all relationships with the non familial opposite sex because you could miss opportunists for growth and miss the opportunity to have knowledgeable people speak into your life. I believe us a people have a responsible to learn and establish healthy boundaries in every relationship. That could look like simply telling your female or male friends your expectation of them when you develop a romantic relationship with a female.

I like that Duke specified the type of relationship/people y’all talking about off rip !

It’s great to hear these perspectives from the male perspective. They are very self aware and know how to articulate their needs and really values their relationships.

The maturity on this show is on punto. I respect you gentlemen for expressing your feelings about this topic. Women DO weaponize insecurity for men. N im not even just talkn about this subject of opposite friends. Im talkn in a general sense. The maturity of this conversation allowed me to see a new perspective regarding women loosely using the word "insecure". All without disrespect, belittling, gaslighting or a shouting match lol RESPECT. #NiceandNeat

Love the convos you guys have. Please consider having longer seasons the 12 weeks go too fast for my liking.

I think ppl who have never had a real genuine friend in the opposite sex aren't ok with it and that is actually a little insecure imo. However, there's nothing wrong with boundaries but to make it seem as though men/women can't have friendships without something "slipping through the cracks" is silly. Also it's only insecure when you don't have a valid reason to dislike the friendship. The fact that the person being the opposite sex is the only reason its a problem is strange to me. Why does anyone hang out with their friends 1 on 1? It's only a compromising situation when ppl aren't being honest about the dynamic of the friendship and when everyone can't be cool ijs

6 minutes in and I LOVE THIS CONVERSATION! Thank you black brothers for keeping it real. I'm so tired of the world morphing what GOD is ordaining which is ultimately COVENANT RELATIONSHIP! Please keep recording these moment this is HIGHLY MATURE!

Just get rid of all friends when you have a relationship and focus solely on your relationship and God. Too many distractions, spiritual energies, social media etc that already makes it difficult to maintain a relationship. Your union is sacred. Develop your soul tribe together and place respect, loyalty, God and love above anything. All the best!✨

I just love y’all so much! Seeing black men being able to be open and transparent!

Love this podcast. Ya’ll have found a niche in the market. Keep going !! 👌🏽

As a woman, I'd like to add to the whole gay man touching a female in an explicit way. I'm not ok with it. I've had gay men grope me before and it's feels like a violation. Being gay doesn't excuse it.

This low key wasn’t good to discuss because all three of you all had the same view. So of course y’all piggy backed & agreed with each other. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with opposite sex having hang outs, lunches, etc. of course there will be boundaries but platonic friendships are healthy… they are needed. They need to be normalized… the issues does stem from an insecure place & maybe needs to be worked on. Trust… is trusting your partner to choose the right platonic friends, female & male wise.

❤❤❤ I really appreciate this! It's refreshing to get grown men perspectives that just get it . I'm definitely subscribing to your channel! Thank you

One of the best episodes this season💯

This is a really great episode. Enjoyed the dialogue between you all.

I love these guys clarity.

Love this conversation and the nuggets on this conversation. Definitely going to implement what I've learned on here

Can we talk about dealing with BD/BM? How does that change things

This was a great convo! Definitely agreed with a lot but also had things that I felt differently about. But overall great convo! Loved everyone’s demeanor. I follow/ am subscribed to each of you guys separately. You guys together are like Lebron, wade, and bosh in Miami

been waiting for this topic!!

Society has proven most of y’all can’t handle a friendship with the opposite sex because you haven’t established boundaries… like -ever. It’s best to just cut off anything that could pose a threat to your relationship, period. Also, if you’re attractive and he’s attractive, it’s honestly even more the reason to maintain funnel vision within your committed relationship.

I just fell in love with yall podcast this my first time watching and I love the point of views and conversations. Keep doin yall thing!

Great episode fellas 🥃🥃🥃

I agree. I’m not really with the opposite sex friendships anymore.

Thank you for this video.. it makes me get a lot of things into prospective. It’s not fair for either parties to go through feeling worried & having no safe space in a relationship when involving other people’s energies into our relationship, hence I and my bf decided to call off our relationship.

Real conversation hope everyone who is serious in a relationship hears this..

Loved this episode🔥💪🏾

I needed all of this today.

This was so refreshing to hear this conversation

The respect on both sides on this video🙌🏾. Currently going through making sure there are boundaries with my man female friend. Really feel like his friend is doing too much, especially with flirtatious words on FB from her that he had to stop her from Doing smh. 🙄 Really feel like this girl is pushing her way in on him.

I'll comment real quick, and elaborate some more further , I even ended the relationship because my ex couldn't reprimand or even set boundaries. The friend even went to an extent of posting pics of them two captioned "loml❤" I addressed it first ,shit didn't change 🙃, and he knew how I felt but still we had the same battle, I left the relationship simply because my feelings weren't being taken into consideration. But thank y'all once more for an insightful topic 👏. It's all love 🥃🥃all the way from South Africa 🇿🇦

Great conversation. I agree with their p.o.v. on this topic. As they stated... this is someone you are building with so boundaries need to be put in place.

I don't find a man having an issue or imposing a mutual boundary at all regarding friends of the opposite sex. In fact, especially when it comes to this topic, I totally respect it, likely can relate to it, and find it admirable.

This season was great. I love this topic and all your opinions are on point. boundaries do matter and you got to make your partner feelings matter always. you building a life a with someone and you got make sure there important. great job fellas. keep it up. 💯

This was a good topic I learn something new listening to this podcast!!

At the end of the day, everyone has certain preferences for their relationship. What you may be okay with another person may not. There is not right or wrong answer, it’s all about respecting the boundaries that you and your significant other have set for your relationship.

It would be devastating if something ever went wrong in these relationship. Love it’s beautiful all I say is don’t lose yourself in someone else.

this was such a great conversation!

Glad y’all had this conversation

Just stumbled on this podcast and I am loving the content❤

This opposition sex friendship is a ticking time bomb sooner or later its gonna explore!

Dope conversation fellas!

Dropping gems 💎

I needed this episode today sincerely especially after having this conversation with my woman ( who I desire to marry) thank you for this episode brothers much love from Toronto, Ontario Canada 🇨🇦

Half time report… The topics been 🔥…. The dynamics between y’all’s crew is dope. I fee l the same way about the gay bestie …. We have to be friends as well . Man is still a man .

When Duke talked about "protected and possible lack of "urgency"" it's real. It recently happened with my and guy best friend and while it wasn't life threatening or anything crazy. We were in an environment where a drunk guy harassed ( would not leave me alone; even was interrupting my conversation with other people) and wouldn't stop talkin got me for almost 20 minutes, and I had to be the one to constantly shoo that man away. He didn't say anything. When I asked why he didn't said anything, he said it was because he didn't threaten me and just talking(being annoying). It changed the way I look at him and the dynamics of our friendship for me. I talk with him about it, and we still cool but I want go anywhere with just him again, because I don't feel like it got me like I would like a friend to have me.

This topic is a little bit touchy, I think it's whatever works for your relationship tbh .. The episode was good though, it's always good to hear the different points of views.

Great Season! 🔥

Another great episode looking forward to many more

I’ve been waiting on this topic!!!!! Considering I have a super close guy best friend!!!

Great intro!!! Nice disclaimer included!!!

Y’all should consider offering counseling sessions for couples. I know I’d be all for it. Sessions with my pastor are good in the biblical sense, but I need some real deal conversations with my fiancé with smart intelligent men like the three of y’all. Great podcast too by the way.

Game changing conversations!

You guys made this conversation so smooth. I’ve brought this up with my bf about having 2 female friends one of them is lesbian the other straight but I expressed to him that another female changing in front of him gay or not doesn’t make me feel secure and comfortable as his girl. Have had many talks about boundaries and actions are being taken on both sides. Definitely starts by having those awkward conversations and letting your person know what things you will and will not stand for. Can’t force what’s not meant for you ☝🏾

Jaylon’s haircut is sharp 😍

WE NEED CHANEL & CANDACE BACK NEXT SEASON PLEASE!!!🗣🗣