I lost my beautiful wife just one month ago. The pain is unbearable daily. I'm actually surprised to hear that those waves can hit just as hard so many years later. But i thank you for sharing this. It helps me prepare for what's ahead. The part about acceptance is particularly helpful
It's been a year since I lost my beautiful karen, after 20 years, had a moment last night, you are right it will never leave you, thank you for sharing, you are not alone, x steve.
@@stevekhaleck1979 Thank you, I find that very comforting to know I'm not alone… I think people sometimes think "It's been many years now, when will you stop grieving?" - The answer? NEVER! it's just the way it is… Thanks for shharing, I really appreciate it x
I feel less alone after watching this video. It often seems like we're expected to suck up the grief and keep pushing forward, but sometimes that feels absolutely impossible. Thank you for making me feel like it's OK to get lost in my grief and cry it out sometimes. I needed this, it helps, thank you!
I'm thankful I found this channel. Today a friend asked me if I was starting to heal. I haven't made it one day without crying since December 2021 when my significant other of 33 years died from cancer. I am incredibly sad. I have good moments but grief is always there.
I'm glad you found us to, Glennie. I'm sorry to hear of your loss, 33 years is a long time to be together. Very much like an old war wound, I think we can begin to heal, the intense sharp agony does dissipate, but like the war wound, it's always there, we walk with a limp and if we press on just the right part the pain comes back… But it's not the same intense agony every day any longer… It just takes time.
I understand, and you said it well. Lost my wife of 53 years last year and it has been beyond painful. I believe we somehow adjust to it a little bit, but people that haven't been thru what we have truly just don't understand. I know I didn't before my world came to a stop. I wish Love and Peace to us all, but there isn't a lot we can do about our sadness, just try and go on. But the grief is part of us all now, like you said.
I feel for us all & I think you are a brave man coming to us all in your grief. Maybe a Godsend to many. My wonderful wife Marilyn returned to her Soul existence just a few months ago but it is my belief we will eventually share another physical life in furthering our spiritual perfection. However, it appears to me that your task is somewhat heavier than mine in respect that our four adult children do their utmost for me including our eldest son who now resides in WA (Perth area). My wife & I knew each other for nigh 60 years, I am in my 80s & have no inclination or intention of seeking another mate as she was & will remain my one & only love. A rendition of the like titled song was played at her 'Celebration of Life'. I fully expect the situation you describe in continuing until my physical demise. I sometimes watch a video relating to Shanklin, on the Isle of Wight where we went on holiday together before we were married in the mid 1960s. We played Bingo just down on the esplanade & won a few prizes. She chose things like breakfast basins & such, this before she had actually accepted my plea for marriage. It was all completely happy times & yet I sob at the memory. Just wonder why I long for those times again when in actuality that type of thing led to us in living our dream ? It would be no good anyone advising me to shelve looking at such things & my reaction if I dared to return to, say, Rylestone Gardens, which we loved to walk together, is unimaginable. I would be in pieces. Music is a Mare, so much will suddenly evolve in my head & the tears come. I have seen much said on the subject, advice like, dispense with your wedding rings. Never, my love was to death & beyond. I wear them both, hers fits me, it is destiny, that's it. I realise this is rather extended so I will just stop there but I have to say, that if I could have seen into the future & the final result, it would never have influenced what we did have together. In a sense, I am glad that it is me going through this because if it had been her, it would have truly broken my heart.
Mark as time passes I have learnt to accept grief as an expresion of love. If didn't love her and if I wasn't loved by her probably it will not be there. So, when it comes I accept it as an exchange of love and yes, I cry and yes I hug her and hold her hand.
Superbly reasoned, Mark. My feeling is that isn't an internal argument with myself about accepting the emotions, but rather, dealing with the well-meaning attempts by those like your dance friend who want to 'cheer you up'. There seems to be no place in society where you can say 'I'm really miserable, but I'm OK just please just let me get on with it'.
Agreed, and I think we take that societal norm personally sometimes, I think we should also cheer up… I don't think that is really helpful! So long as we give ourselves time to grieve, and time to be happy and joyful, then there's nothing wrong with being miserable for a bit and just getting on with it! As ever, thanks for your feedback, it really helps me as well.
It's been a year since I lost my beautiful karen, after 20 years, had a moment last night, you are right it will never leave you, thank you for sharing, you are not alone, x steve.
I'm at a time (7months) that people still expect me to cry. But I can go days between and I think maybe the worst is past. But no ...and meltdowns come out of left field. I just roll with it. Tears are gonna happen. Two days ago the tsunami hit and I feel emotionally wounded by it still.
Bless you Mark. Needed to hear this today . Its been 3 years for me. For me it was my son's wedding. Had most wonderful time but when i returned home sadness & loss hit me like ton of bricks. Slowly picking myself up again. Thank you for your words of encouragement.
@@Lost-without-herIt hasn't been easy. Like what you said, gonna take it when it comes, whether it's a little or a lots, it has indeed become part of us and part of our lives. Thank you for your message, god bless!
Great video. Thank you for sharing. Have not had grief for 3 months and now I got hit by a huge wave. The more I resist it, it just keeps on coming and demanding more pain to be felt. Im just going to try to accept it. It is there for a reason. And it is natural.
I lost my wife of 30 years in Nov 2020. I get mad at myself with the grief allows depression to take hold. It's still almost crippling. I know loneliness is a constant feeling inside and it rarely leaves. I get concerned that I shouldnt be dealing with these issues and that I am not moving forward like I should be. Thank you for your video. It helps remind me that what I'm feeling is normal and there's no rulebook for how long we are supposed to exist but not live
9 months since he's gone.thinking I was doing okay most days. Then heard a song that was playing that was our song when dating and lost it big time .and got so damed depressed. That lasted one whole week.better now. After 42 years it cuts sooo deep.
I get it. I get it. Greg's death was almost 2 years ago. So many emotions come and go during any 24 hours. They're starting to feel like old friends that need my attention. I'm happy to spend time together, if that's what's needed. Growth for me.😢
I lost my husband of almost 56 years in December, 6 months ago. I go to the cemetery every few days but feel a terrible guilt when I leave, as I can go and he has to stay, I can never leave without crying. Sometimes I think the grief will overcome me.
When I had enormous grief I buried my self in as much work as I could find to keep my mind busy. This lasted probably 2 years , it took the sharpness off the grief.after that the greif was still there I just learned to live with it.
Thank you for sharing your story. It is so helpful. I lost my wife of 2 1/2 years ago and still can have daily grief and at times the big feelings of grief. It helps to know that it is ok and I do just let it happened. Sometimes to me the question of grief is what is normal or ok to live with?
i avoid grief with anxiety. i'll have anxiety attacks rather than feel the grief. can you do a video about this? it seems to be an overlooked part of the grieving process. Thx.
I find pepole do not understand the terrable lonleyness when you are a lone l find they expect you to just carry on has normal and also to think you can just change your way off thinking diffrent even if you are in a room of people you can feel so a lone l would having never would have thouht of suchh pain and damed hartach it is horrable to deal with you realey need some one that you can talk to that understands what you are realey going threw but sorry to say there are very few gref is very hard to live with in fact you dont feel has if you are living
