I had a son that had ADHD, my son now 26years old. as a child the doctors first tried meds. with in two weeks , i told them NO more. . the meds just made him sleep . . I found "exactly" what you are saying to be the most effective method . "Positive reinforcment " a key . as well as you say about a one on one and connections . I would recomend this video for every parent with a child with ADHD .now my son is now a foreman and a top employee at his workplace, To all Parents TAKE THE TIME .
My son is ADHD but he is on Ritalin I need advice on how to make him listen. There day's and time's he is such an Angel but there are days I can't handle him he become so rebellious and all I do is shout and scream. It emotionally drains me and I start crying.
You are a liar meds take at least a month to six weeks to properly get into the body system before you get the true result of them and they certainly don’t make you sleep quite the opposite
OMG! This video is life changing!!! It reaffirms all my beliefs with parenting in general and specifically my child with ADD, and I have had my struggles but have always believed in being there for him. But would always hear about putting consequences and being "firm" as an approach that would work better... but which would make me cringe on the inside. Thank you so much, your video is such a blessing! Sorry, I'm not being very articulate but I'm so glad to have come across your video. Gratitude and appreciation 🙏🙏🙏
Ugh made me cry at the end there with the emotions of the parent just being too much for the child so they have to brah connection with the parent... Wow.. Thank you
You right, I can relate to what you're saying, kindness, warm tone, patience its absolutely the best way. It isnt always easy but much preferred. Love, and all the goodnesss that comes with is always best.
Very sensible advice for parents. Staying positive and warm all the time is almost impossible though with your ADHD kid but that is an effort a parent has to put in I guess. You do what you gotta do.
Great advice Dr Childress! I agree that it medication and therapy is much needed for ADHD children. My son was just diagnosed recently and it has been very hard. We have been in counseling for almost two years now and will continue to go. He was put on a medication and it helps but we are still looking for a better one. I agree with committing involvement. Our kids needs our time! Our positive tones also are so effective. I am working on being a more happy parent because i know that my son feel whenever i am stressed. I truly believe that our kids teach us so much about life. Stay strong parents!
Wow I wish I had watched this when my son was much younger. I've stumbled onto basically this Doctor's plan by trial and error. I found getting angry myself, trying to 'force' the behavior I expected with punishments, etc. just wasn't effective. Obviously, you need to ensure the child understands there are just some behaviors (dangerous to themselves or others, 'overly physical', etc.) that are not acceptable and there are punishments for that behavior. The key is the punishment is communicated in advance and isn't 'variable' or 'negotiable'. Other than that I've found that just trying my hardest to put myself in my son's shoes helps me 'work the issue' vs. 'make him stop' whatever behavior is causing disruption has lead to far greater improvement in his behavior and his success socially and academically.
I started this job at an after school program about month ago and there's this one student who gets in trouble everyday. I tried everything: time out, sitting out during play time, making him sit out for activities and nothing works. I've even heard stories from other teachers explaining how awful his behavior was. I couldn't believe a kid was this bad. In the back of my mind I did assume ADHD but I didn't just want to make that assumption without having the facts. Today his behavior was terrible and I had to tell his mom. She then told me he had ADHD. Then I knew my assumption was right. I'm currently trying to find a way to deal with him because I'm the past I have been hard on him sometimes. I'm glad I know now so I can have self control and try to understand him
Tae Ivory - Moon I'm a kid with adhd and many people think that way about me and it's very hard to focus and sometimes in bad depression all I can tell you is go easy on them
Yes, Dr. Craig, you know what you are talking. Thank you for this. A pity, you will be sanctioned by your peers if you quote studies of years ago - referring to "Controlling a Hyperkinetic Child" or more "Reasonable parental chastisement" and "increased activity" worked well with my grandfather, my father, me and three of my daughters - all of us "Hyperkenetic" My boys born after DSM IV are not "Hyperkenetic" - they are ADHD and the treatment is different and does not work at all .... make you think....
I have ADHD and o used to take medicine it made me so drowsy and so out of it I would just stare at a wall and not talk not play or do anything and I always had a migraine so I would never bother to eat I would mainly just think and sleep. my mom hated that so she took me off of it and helped to guide me to behiaving with rewards and teaching me how to relieve stress and frustration a d she taught me to control myself. you don't need medicine to get better from ADHD' besides I had a family member use it and it caused permanent twitching so..yeah.
Thank You, for the short and very informative videos, I at 60 can't seem to get and stay organized, I have a grand son that was diagnosed when he was younger stayed on the meds for sometime, he was premature but he's 16 now now his mothe is coming back and trying to take over from my son who has had them all him and his sister's life , and her new bad as highly manipulate husband . But like you are saying I think we didn't give him enough special attention. I can see it even in my dad who is 85 . I'm so glad I found your videos.
Punishments are not the answer for ADHD. I can't punish my son for not doing his school work when it isn't his fault he can't focus. I have been a child with attention deficit disorder and I don't see how's bunch of punishments will help. That is ruling with fear. Someone medication works. Sometimes the first meds aren't the right ones, sometimes you need to try one or two before you find the right ones. I also think therapy should go with the meds. really like what this man has to say. He looks like he knows his stuff.
people think when we say oh our child cant focus its not as little as it sounds. they literally can not control themselves. my son clunches his fists and turns red in the face because i will get uoset that hes literally not in the same world as me when we are doing homework. i get to the point i cant even do his homework with him because he literally CAN NOT do it.
Thank you. I'm so glad some parents can understand. I'm actually a daughter, with ADHD, and many other disorders. Punishment makes me feel like I'm not good enough, and small rewards are nice. Like shaped erasers I LOVE THOSE
DogDaybreak then they might have an autism disorder on top of it which makes them fixate or add/adhd can also have hyperfocus (I have this which makes me able to do school work or read for 14 hrs straight and get angry if interrupted), or the game changes and rewards immediately which keeps attention
I'm a father of five boys and one girl. My biological children dont have any attention disorders, my three foster children do. What i can say has helped them is a combination of medication and therapy. I also have them on a strict daily routine. I've noticed that if they can fall into that routine, the day goes a lot smoother. Also, giving them enough mental and physical stimulation so they don't get bored and have a need to bounce around doing more destructive behaviors. As the man said each child is different and all kids with ADHD/ADD can not be placed in a bubble as a one trick fix all situation. Find what works for them and build on it.
Derek Groves great comment. I have so many teachers look at my youngest and say we aren't parenting right (I'm a teacher as well) but at the same time all the siblings behave and only needed time out maybe once or twice, but youngest would be in trouble all day by the same rules
@Tucker,Fearn and Bentley’s Angel Forever I'm deeply sorry if someone took your children. But my son has ADHD and is pretty REAL AND DIFFICULT for my family, I say this because he has been tested and my other son is nothing like him or have I ever met other kid like mine and you trying to call it a hoax or whatever makes us who suffer from it kind of harder to live by!
not sure where I heard this ...."the symptoms of ADHD mirrors the symptoms of Anxiety" that rings so true to me. so CHECK the ENVIRONMENT in which your child lives. Also see Gabor Mate and Gordon Neufeld
Deslannee MaryKay me too hunni its not easy is it ! adhd is wrong name really-its more than attention, its there hole way of thinking thats different. hope ur copeing ok.
+Deslannee MaryKay vimeo.com/51772833 I feel this guy gives quite accurate descriptioin to what adhd people feel, think and faced. The approach is quite similar to this video. It's not easy to understand for those who don't have. Be calm and "Positive reinforcment " is really a much better approach.
dont feel bad I am ADHD, been told my whole life that I was defective, i was over medicated throughout all of school and all it did was turn me into a zombie. I was also told that IF i ever had kids they would turn out just as bad as i am Thats why I will never have kids or relationships
Marukay. Here is my help; there no ADHD! It is a hoax and scam! Read about it and relax! Your kid is absolutely normal!,,,,,, read about it: google: ADHD is a hoax!
If you work through your issues and use CBT regularly, and other brain training tools, you can do anything. You will likely have more empathy and information than your parents did. Just be open to learning new things and gaining new tools to manage your behaviour when it is inappropriate (regular exercise helps and steering clear of alcohol! Yoga is also great). It seems that ADHD ASD ADD, are all hereditary, so, at least you would understand if you did have kids. Just make sure you have a lot of support and regular psych visits. I have two kids on my own, I homeschooled my son who has ASD, he is now in university studying Biochemistry. I have been able to set him up with great supports and disability helps with organisation, time management, planning and learning online when sensory overload and distractions are too overwhelming for him. Anything is possible. Limitations are made to be broken through. When there is no way, you find ways that work for you.
myself i have adhd to a point where i cant stop moving and i see no reason to discipline or any of that cuz adhd is something we cant get rid of and people like in class well be like o u rock cuz i move i rock back in forward cuz that keeps me calm and uses my hyperness then i get tired but like i think people with adhd at my level and other people should never be put on meds it just hurts are feelings cuz then we dont feel normal or we dont fit i mean like if a doctor says your kid has adhd at that point just let them do what they want find what makes them calm cuz for me i found my fix for it rocking be doing when i was like 2 always non stop untill i get tired or comfy or i watch tv or whatever but puting kid teens on meds or yelling or even saying stuff makes them not feel like they fit in makes some teens make them run down the wrong road it can even ruin friendships
My daughter recently passed away leaving 2 teenagers that now live with me their Grandmother. One is 18 with low-grade autism the other 16 who has ADHD and has had this diagnosis since grade 1. He is on medication and now that he is getting older I find him getting more independent in some ways but has problems with personal hygiene and changing his clothes to fresh ones every day. He is in a special class at school and his academic skills are low. he does well at working on his video games, but has no interest in anything else. I find his sleeping habits are not good either. Both of these kids have a lot to deal with apart from losing their Mother at this age, Covid and lockdowns, and moving home and school. I am a senior and a widow, and so am finding it hard to deal with the emotions of us all at this time. there is very little help available and long waiting lists for any help. It was an 8 mth wait for bereavement counselling, which seemed pointless after that long. When I try to commit to a bedtime and he does not comply I am not sure how to give a consequence that is appropriate.I guess I am feeling more compassion than discipline and I fear I may be too lenient. Its a hard road do you have more videos I can gather info . We live in Canada so services may not be the same
This almost brought me to tears! I have post-partum depression once again, and I know it is affecting my kids. I want them to be happy kids, but it is so hard to get my self together. I feel like such a failure as a mom (which could be the depression talking) but I still believe that I'm a crappy mom! I love my kids and want them to have a better childhood than I did (which was a fairly good one). But, unlike my mom, I'm angry all the time! Something needs to give, or I'll screw them up forever!
I refuse to medicate my girl. 7yrs old. ADHD, ODD, Severe anger and Bipolar and violent at times all wrapped in on little kid. Very hard being a single mom dealing with this. Everyone I've brought this up to dismiss it all. To this child she makes it a game to upset everyone and laughs and giggles when shes gotten it accomplished. My other child is perfect and normal, happy and loving. There are behavior issues in some children then there is mental dissability. I wish I could find someone that can help instead of pass things off.
It’s awful. I have it, and I’m positive my son does too. He isn’t quite 4 yet, and we feel like monsters yelling all the time. It pains me because I know exactly how that is too. The impulse control just is not there. He is way more hyper than I ever was, and following directions is almost impossible. It really takes patience, and I really wish I could get it together. Even since he was an infant, getting off of his normal routine makes things much more extreme.
Positive praise for behavior I want to see my daughter exhibit has been a good strategy for us. That combined with teaching myself self control and patience, certian phrases, etc. You are not alone! I have struggled with the yelling too, its so rough some days, but you can do it! 💖 #momsupport:)
i try to do all these things but my sons school can't handle him if hes not medicated. hes been kicked out of after school programs before we had his medication balanced. I'm so frustrated because i feel likehes a ticking time bomb, when hes calm and can focus hes the sweetest kindest little boy, but off meds he has so many problems.
My sons school is the same way. He's only in Kinder, but he's been sent home twice. & that was within the first week. His principal has even called me asking if I could give him MORE medicine.
I used to take medication for my ADHD, but it made me tired and depressed. So I stopped, and don’t know about other medications if they are different, but I don’t seem to like the idea of taking drugs to “help” with ADHD.
I don't want my child on medication that is not meant for children. My brother was put on them and it didn't do anything but harm him in the long run. I want to teach him how to handle his emotions and learn to bring himself back on point so he's productive in life not just to get through school.
St. Vapor No; it's not. Many drugs for mental illness are not for kids. And diagnosing ADHD in kids under 6 is more for the parents then the kids. They may have made advancements in treatments but from what I have seen not too much has changed in the medication department of treatment and they are not for children. Besides once puberty starts their hormones change constantly which means their medication won't work properly.
Katharyne Simpson not entirely with younger kids the medication dosages need to be changed around and they mainly use some other non medical treatments instead of normal treatments for teens. I don't know what you've been told but multiple types of Adderall and other ADHD medication HAVE to be designed for Teens and for Teens in Puberty
St. Vapor No they haven't. Look that shit up. Adderall is not for kids or teens at all; my brother was on it for years on and off along with a list of other meds to treat adhd, add, and bipolar disorder. None of which is labeled or "designed" for kids hence why now they advertise law suits against these drugs due to "unseen" side effects. They may prescribed them for young kids and teens but they aren't actually for them they are for adults.
i have adhd autism high deppresion and this stuff wont work with me what helps me is give me a controller and let me play fortite till i calm down bec we cant socialice well
my girl is 9 and has had high rate adhd since 6, however girls can be different to boys and instead of running up the walls shes fairly quiet but is now getting harder to parent as she now has odd symptoms, she has me and her wonderfull stepdad (make that clear hes a good kind dad) to guide her in life but her attitude is getting more colder every day-she wrote mum is evil on my mothers day card, killed her hamster because it bit her and is always expecting a yes to everything -when she sometimes gets no she hates me , next day nice again like she never said anything bad to hurt me !! yet i have always shown her love and her dad is always trying to explain things nicely ,i dont smack ever. she acts different for the teachers like a kid whos been traumatised-let me tell u its an act ,my girl has been protected and loved from day 1. shes a chamelion, very clever in wrong ways, yet struggles so much at school that i fought 2 years to get her extra help. ive noticed that when she was little she had love in her-lots of it-always saying i love u mum, but at 6 it changed, now she never says that ever really-worse still i notice she lacks compassion, she cant seem to understand how other people feel etc. she has become emotionless-oposit of myself-i have too much emotion at times. I pray she will be ok in life but i worry all the time, because she is an only child its magnified as she cant share easily. i will always love her-guide her etc but her odd symptoms make her hatefull at times, she dileberatly puts shoes on wrong feet ! yikes its hard work at times :( her biological father killed himself and so did his father so i worry all time what future holds. my partner had heart attack from the stress of daily life with her she never gave a damm yet the man has loved her and been kind to her for 2 and half years !!adhd is wrong name its far more than that-serious mental issues for sum kids. good luck anyone with higher rate adhd kids i know u need it !!
Maybe there is something else going on in her life? Something traumatising happened to her? And she's blaming you? Sit down and ask her, have a talk with her. Has someone touched her inappropriately? Children act out after traumatic events. Let her know you're there for her and she can tell you anything.
adhd kids tend to have a more angry way of thinking sometimes. its a proven chemical imbalance. My son always yells at me and cries saying i think hes stupid or i think hes dumb or i hate the clothes he wears.. he says that stuff when im trying to discipline him. he gets so angry. adhd kids can tend to think their parents are like out to get them sometimes because we are constantly disciplining them because they constantly need it
exactly what i'm thinking Tamara, I thought at first that the child is displaying a psychopathic behavior the way she described it but when she said that she was ones sweet and always saying i love you, i can only think of traumatic experience. she must have been abused and does not trust her mom, does not believe that her mom will buy her story.
You have to talk to your child and let her know that whatever she say, you'll believe her..let her feel that she can trust you. just realized that this was a year ago comment, hope things are better now for her and you.
+Alcyone89 hi thanks for your input. I can tell you 100% my daughter's never been abused in any way!! the suicide of her biological father is only thing ever when she was one and I mentioned that. if you had any experience of ADHD and ODD you would know that symptoms start around age 6-7 yrs exactly as in my girl. my daughter has been loved and protected more than most on this planet. now that a couple of years has gone by since my comment I can tell you what went wrong on some things. no 1 , when I meet my husband my daughter's step- father my daughter had been with just me for 5 1/2 yrs she took the greatest offence that I had finally moved on after her biological father died. she felt a self imposed loyalty to her dads pictures and the year she had with him around. She built an instant wall around herself . It was bad luck my new husband met her just at the age ADHD symptoms start!!! also I had overcompensated for her biological father dying in the years up to 6 and spoilt her rotten really,i rarely said no to anything. she is my beautiful girl and had gone through a tragedy . I never had a child before and suicide is hardest thing to go through its out this world , me and my girl were badly hurt. grieving and PTSD ( I found him) ment I just gave her everything and rarely said No. so once I started saying no a bit that's were problems started. she hated to hear it. Also it was a big change to have a new dad she took 4 long years to love him and we never pushed her in any way as its important to adjust in time on your own. She was mighty jealous of the time I spent sharing a family life with her dad as well as just her!! Thankfully we persevered and waited for her to come around. 1 knew that the man I was with was kind honest and decent he has been amazing. No other man would put up with the unkind behaviour my child threw out daily. she wanted me to herself. But I knew in the end her wall of hurt would come down , problem was ADHD made things worse. Today she now shows love again !! it's slowly building. She will hug her dad and it's wonderful to see. How my husband waited so long for some kindness I never know I guess he just had to hope. Jealousy's a long battle to overcome but because my hubby hung in there he now has the rewards of a loving child he's been a SAINT. Before assuming trauma has happened please ask me ! my daughter is a apple of my eye. Today things are happier but ADHD is still an issue. Organic food lessons symptoms and sugar worsening so we try to limit sugar a bit. I say No a bit more and provide kind discipline much more it helps a lot ! My husband has got me to a happy place again and now my girl has adjusted she loves him dearly and is sad she ever was mean to the hamster her dad bought her.we were shocked but now have moved forward times are much much better!! lesson if your child is just being diagnosed ADHD put relationship on hold a bit maybe ? however I chose not too because I knew deep down she would grow to love him and she did. Now she has a dad again who lives for her and me.
My grandson he act out in School he act out when something he doesn't know is work or he put his head down on his deck. I had go get him out of school like twice and he got expelled for 3 days. In he get punched he can't play games or phone .in what get me he focusing on videos games in the phone. I told him you could pay attention on the PlayStation and the phone but you can't do it in school yes you can and he gets angry he has ADHD I need found away for him to focus in school at home he OK still he get mad about something .
bonnie diaz no, it's not ADHD. My son has the same issue. He's throwing a tantrum from life not working out the way he wants it too. It's more of an inability to control or express his emotions properly. More along the lines of a "sensitive child".
well said the man in this video. i believe i have so called non hyper ADHD, and i hate it (I'm sorry for the expression :(, beeing really old and feels like a kid in side, is not fun. it's like you have to act/be on your guard all the time, and thats not fun, i have to hide my self (it's tiering and sad). and i talk so much i get tiered, but when i was a kid i didn't know how to communicate, i didn't know what to say, i was more like; oh! look! a bird!. can't finish this msg now, gotta go sleep, tiered, but i will nor comeback and finishing it, I'm tiered of my self lol.
@@kenbarlow7239 you all can do this! Getting diagnosed as an adult is hard at least where I live. So I know I have it and so does my son who is diagnosed. I have overcome a lot with hard hard work and also trying to emphatize with my son. Is hard but nor impossible
I'm wondering the same thing my grandson lives with me and he is always driven can't sit still constantly into everything and anything possible even after he has had a time out goes right back to acting out he argues and is defiant and unfocused also I've seen signs of Autism my son wasent diagnosed until 5 and in kindergartes qhen school caught it. My son was never as hyper active as his son is today at age 3 were trying to get custody of jadin from the courts because his mom is not fit to care for him and she is abusive to Jadin. She left how m with us for a month no calls or stop by to see him then one night at 10 pm she brought a officer to try taking him from my son it back fired on her and we still have him my son set it up with court ordered Non family supervised visitation visits and so he went to a company specialized in supervised visits he paid his portion to get paper work started but mom is fighting us she don't think she should half to pay to see her son for 30$ a hour. She only wants him when her family wants him she even quit texting my son to see there sonso court is march 31st on protective order and that dcfs founded her quilty of child neglect and abuse so where my grandson has lived with his dad and I this long since oct. 2017 and my son did a DNA test and it proved that he is 99.9% the dad so if judge court orders his mom to put jadin on the certificate and we change his last name from his moms to my sons last name and a new birth certificate and ss# then we can set another court date for us to obtain full legal custody. Especially when his mom on jan 29 went out her first time as a 21 yr old drinking and walking home she got severely hurt by a car that hit her this happened in January and she just got that where she can walk 2 weeks ago the mom has disabilities and comprehension problems she had no idea how to care for a new born at all. Praying things go in mine and my sons favor I would die without this special boy that has a spot in my heart forever.
@@robloxjada61 and it can be so many other reasons why a 4 year d is more aggressive and emotional than average child the same age.....pretty fucking sure you can not diagnose ADHD that early and if ya are...nothing is gonna change my opinion thats more for the parent not in help of the child.....straight up if she was medicating the 4 year old for a menta illness, she was medically abusing her because its pretty damn impossible to accurately diagnosed anyone under 10 with a mental illness and those medications are not meant for anyone under 18. Basically its not safe to give to kids and if she aint messed up she will be because she was already chemically altering her brain chemistry at 4. And from what i have read ADHD is different for girls they tend to "space off" and "day dream". Not be aggressive.
@@KT-su3qk My daughter is now 13 & she was fully diagnosed with ASD, ADD & Dyspraxia at the age of 6. Only medication I've allowed her to be prescribed is Melatonin, to help her sleep.......
Can't say that now lol. But in all honesty, I'm not the father of my girlfriend's children, but they look up to me like I am. Recently we've discovered her oldest son has ADHD and here I am looking for methods for handling this. Their biological father is neglectful and unfortunately doesn't help the issue.
Good for you. ADHD is such a challenging thing to deal with. I wish I had some pearls of wisdom to offer. I guess the best thing I can give you is be consistent and routine. Such a struggle parenting sometimes I feel like running away lol.
That shows how much of a man you truly are. Not only are you raising children that aren't yours, you're looking for ways to better them. Hats off to you!
+Tami “Slinkydog666” C I'm a father looking for the best way to help my child find his feet in this world with adhd. I went my whole life feeling confused, different and left out of society. I refuse to let it happen to my son.
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