How to Handle a Rebellious Child 

I guess that's ok.

My son is 5 he is behind some of his speech and more so on his controling his emotions. We started to buckle down and notice and react in certain ways we never know was possible. Blessed so very much to find a mentor and come to see the errer in my own ways and pray others can also see and help sooner than later. Im a failure as a father in my past and now i see a reality clear as day now where i can stand and be commited to progress and not repress. Anyone can change there way and there thoughts. Even Satan used to be an angle. Ty Jordan for the many hours u put into the greater good and the calling of Truth.

Rene Guenon, Julius Evola, leo strauss. You're welcome

Here’s a super important tip from a previous rebellious child (and a girl at that): find out why your child is rebellious. I laughed when my parents spanked me. I didn’t have tantrums but I was overly controlled. Attunement, guidance, compassion that’s what I needed. There are many different situations.

1:37 when you tell a Republican that people should make a fair wage.

People don't like truth. Most of people would like to live their lives in their cardboard bubbles than seek for truth.

It's a special kind of minority that doesn't like him. Those full of resentment aiming down. It's a good test actually.

Some of his takes are abrasive and rude, but if you are not a spoiled baby, you can get past that and enjoy lectures like these. The babies are on both sides. Let's not pretend that the kooks on the right are any more tolerant than the ones on the left.

they don't like his political views but also how his answers regarding psychology don't go along with far leftist ideology

I like him for sure, but some of what he says I do disagree with. I think he is good at what he does but not his views with in politics. That’s all.

I'll take note about this

​@@user-wq2wj2ph8m Praising someone has positive effect on them. I'm sorry but did you really now know this ?

​​@@54356776You'd be surprised how much a simple concept such as this gets lost on so many people. You just got it wrong, for example. Praise doesn't always have a positive effect on people. It's genuinely recognizing and reinforcing good behavior that does.

a SMACK would save time and instill a sense of being cared for.

@@user-wq2wj2ph8mI’ll take won do

And what about flossing for yourself instead of whatever the dentist says? You sound like a child-adult. Needs external stimuli do to the correct thing.

yeah but it strikes me that perhaps to reach positive encouragement one has to be disciplined

Totally, but I also see the blowback of doing this on a large scale. I have incompetent Gen z coworkers who reject criticism and explicitly ask for more complements for doing the bare minimum. Kids need some of the stick and some of the carrot.

Yes I see your point. Something I truly believe is that if all you ever do is correct a child, and don’t encourage them much, then what you’re really teaching them is that they’re not enough. Encouraging them in TRUTH seems to cultivate this invisible mental environment that brings forth good fruit.

⁠@@fotisvon9943positive encouragement disciplines you. Nobody becomes his best self through fear.

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As a parent the only blessing is the knowledge that one day I will be dead and free of them..

​@@74KU lol!

​@@74KU😂

​@@74KUlol well said

Lol, even adults have a hard time using logic during those moments.

Understanding that we are/were the same way, and not holding resentment to yourself for the behavior I think is important. The behaviors that piss us off the most tend to be the things about ourselves we dont like. Like recovered addicts are usually the most judgemental about active addicts.

Exactly, and autism is not easy

Yeah we saw adults aren't that different on Jan 6 lol

@@binmcbin1890 exactly! People peacefully protesting, and just like spoiled children the democrats couldn't handle people disagreeing with them so they shot and beat protesters then lied to the world about it. The lack of father figures has drastic consequences

Better yet, try to be a parent like that one day

@@Based_investor Lol absolutely. When he says it's a sight to behold, it truly is.

We all wish we had a father like this.

💖👍👍

He wasn’t a good father though. Its easier said than done.

When your a child is when you learn the most.

unfortunately peterson did not do that with his daugther and now she is a single mother after cheating on her husband with some random bad boy in Romania.

@@susanwjoh0re735 Even if that happened (because only they know the truth), how is this his fault? She is a full adult. My father cheated on my mother, I've never cheated on my wife... I guess I should do that, right? I am 100% sure that Peterson is not a perfect human, as no one is, and so is his daughter. Also, that does not change the fact that he helped a lot of people as a psychologist and now as a writer/speaker. He should not be judged by the actions of his adult daughter and vice versa.

Thanks my dog is potty trained now. Who’s a good girl who’s a good girl …. Goo puppy…

Hell no reward bad behavior only doing the right thing because they get something out of it, nope absolutely not

@@zachariahmagallan5738 well our entire societal system is based on work->reward

Those who can’t do, teach. The truly skilled and knowledgeable are usually killing it in life.

@@factsoveremotions6035 Are you saying Mr.Peterson isnt skilled and knowledgeable?

@@Elegyforthend I was referring to the second half of JohnnyBoy’s statement. I’ve found Peterson to be impressive in his knowledge and delivery. I had two good teachers during my time in school and college, that I remember for the impact they made. Most were there for the paycheck, pensions and summers off. Peterson is different as he’s killing it with his books he writes, Podcasts and touring lectures. He’s very impressive.

@@factsoveremotions6035 Oh it seems I misunderstood your statement. That was a very articulate reply. Have a good day.

@@Elegyforthend first one wasn’t clear. I realized it when you asked. Peterson is exception to that general rule.

@Miss Lucie The west, especially in the black community ppl can’t raise children. I’ve seen a hound raise and discipline her pups better than humans.

Thats all i wanted as a child. Mother is a narcissist. At least shes not my biological mother.

Trust me dude, you're far from the only one going this things ;) Luckily this guy has the most practical ways of dealing with life's issues its awesome lol

Nope, you are not alone...

My first daughter was and is an angel and a joy every day. My new daughter is like living in heaven and hell at different times each day.

@@JamesGough1 I'd say figure it out, you're the parent... it's not fair to your new daughter for her to be "hell" to you who's her father... (I'm 20yo and not a parent, just my opinion on this.)

Oh friend!! 😂😅😢 Well, we're still here... We are likely the crazy ones now. Kinda feels like prison sometimes. I did think it was going to get easier after 11 years, but nope.. Been a parent for 15 years and I thought I was surviving... whew.

I have a 15 year old that is the ultimate rebel...I hope you're right and hope I don't die of heart attack before she straightens up.

This applies to children under about 10yo after that I dont think it's okay after 10 at that point you should have helped your child share emotions with out insain rebellion or tantrums and your older child is rebellious because you are failing in some form of understanding them or communicating your good intentions as a parent. 15 and your child is being rebellious then you aren't communicating well and they don't feel like THEY can communicate with you. Hard pill to swallow but if your kid is old enough to understand and they still ignore logic then something isn't being communicated

@@713PINGUINA832 I think you’re mistakenly conflating rebellious-ness with ill-tempered and ill-mannered. I was always a rebellious kid, and I kept that spirit as an adult. Now I question everything I run into and it has served me well in business. It’s not to say you let your kids run wild. That is not a good situation. You let them act out without breaking their spirit; learn the rules of society when consequences are minor. I think particularly in young boys you see a lot of broken spirits. Kids are absolute powerhouses of creativity, compassion, and raw intelligence. They need to be given room to cultivate these traits. It’s a difficult balance, but worth figuring out!

Basically it's more ideal to have a rebellious child early on because they WILL challlenge your authority and rules. Which is good because while they may not be agreeable they will be more exposed to learning. Unlike an agreeable child that always says "yes" because when the time comes when they get rebellious they don't know how to tread that path, they've always been agreeable til something life changing happens.

Well when they put their little siblings safety and lives at risk because they don't want to listen then they've lost all my consideration for "gentle parenting"

He’s ranting dude. He should actually lecture instead of just talking about some personal experiences.

@@ramon2008 but a personal experience like that is actually really informing

​@@ramon2008i'd really rather listen to his very informational personal experiences rather than sitting in the room forcing myself to learn regurtitated ideas from a half-baked professor.

@@ramon2008 no rant there. the audience was engaged.

@@ramon2008 the best teachers speak from experience. Lol

I was called a genius as a kid. And its taken me until now, being 21, to be able to overcome the effect of that being told to me as a kid.

this is so important to realise. If you dont connect work to results but just "being a genius" you might do well in school and college depending on how smart you actually are but as soon as you reach any form of higher education you are basically done for. Dr.K also has a great video in this topic called "why gifted kids are actually special needs", highly recommend it - would love to see Dr.Peterson and Dr.K talk one day.

@@DrWurzeli exfuckingzactly

Thank you, this is really useful information!

The same thing happened to me. Thankfully, at 17 I'm getting my stuff together. The only difference is that i never had any real support when i decided which career i am going to pursue.

What?🤷🤦

@@anonaymoust864 life lessons are simple and don’t have a huge affect on one’s future when you’re a child… for example… take care of your toys, look after them. If you break them or let the dog chew it…. It’s gone now! Let them learn that they are and can be responsible…. Don’t buy another one and delete that learning opportunity. That’s NOT good parenting, it’s easy “feel good” for you parenting.. WRONG! Don’t do it.

@@brianjohnson1346 Your explanation is confusing sorry can't relate

I agree!! Mum of 14 and 12 year old boys. Not the "development" so much, but their brains and why on earth at that age we all are convinced we are all right!!

@@jomarriott1421 You will be convinced at 16 you are right, then at 20, then at 25. By the time you reach 35-40 you were wrong so much you actually get some humility or at least less arrogant. You could introduce them to gr8 literature and knowledge. That way their formed 16 year old opinion might have some semblance of beeing right from the get go, and all they have to do is update those believes to their circumstances. It's verry hard to do anyways.

Me too.

peterson taught her daugther so well she cheated on her husband with adnrew tate. a man who used to sell women for sex.

@@jomarriott1421 As a prior 12 and 14 year old boy whose now in the 30s, I was always right and continuously rebellious and pushing the envelope with how far I can dominate. My parents describe my teenage years as hell lol. My parents constant fight for control led to me stressing majorly which resulted in alcohol and drug abuse and doing poorly in school from 1st-12th grade; more-so from 6th to 12th grade. As I was completely lost in life I joined the military which straightened me out and Ive accomplished a lot since high school and have a great career. When I was little and even to this very day Ive always needed a diverse platter of hobbies, which is expensive. My parents werent wealthy or good with money, therefore all of the hobbies/sports Id try, often "quitting" shortly after trying, led my parents to stop taking my interests seriously. The boredom I faced after my parents refusal to sign me up for sports or let me dabble in hobbies led me to various addictions and anti social behavior while sober. Present day I play multiple instruments, paint, jiu jitsu / muay thai, paintballing, and love doing things with technology. Im not a parent but going by my personal experience, all I needed in childhood was the freedom to try new things even though it was expensive especially while I had several siblings who also followed a similar addiction/anti social path as me.

Totally agree.

Good luck raising a child hearing a lecture from someone who is a clinical psychologist who couldn't help himself from addicted to drugs

It's your attention span... He can help with that too

@@uvaiskomath Well, how couldn't he help himself with addiction?! He did solve his problem. He quit his addiction, so I don't know why you're mad!!

@@SoloClone yeah, there's this and there's time for sure, sometimes you're just busy.

Yes, I see this a lot!

Yes lol its true. I am expecting #6. The kid who gives me issues is the oldest. He's smart. Lol What helps me to "like" them is honestly to tap into your inner "child" again. I'll watch shows with them (thats so raven, even stevens, spongebob, etc.). Joke around. Let them have game time (we homeschool.) Making sure we get breaks from each other and chill. That's huge. They need a break from you as much as you need one from them. Lastly, prayer. Letting you child lead prayer. Giving them ownership is huge. Gives them confidence. But yes parenting without a solid foundation in Christ/church is HARD. God's grace helps with loving your kids too. But yea I totally get it. Kids can be annoying jerks lol !! I do love them though..

so nice to see someone willing to understand and work with the child, instead of trying to dominate them and make them submit to their will by yelling and hitting. you were patient and let him have time to calm down.

This nearly every time with my 3yo.

If you couldn't teach your kids to show respect to their mother that's partly on you.

@@patsayjack402 how did you even read that into this comment. Baffling.

@@patsayjack402 kids do what they can when they want. They will manipulate when they can. In their heads their desires are all that matters. Sounds like mom is fueling that. I’m sure that the mom told dad about the kids being bad and he handled it. But correcting after the fact is never as effective as correcting during the moment. If mom is a pushover then she’ll get a totally different response than dad. Not until they are on the same page will true results start showing.

Jordan is teaching how to be an intelligent parent. Hitting and yelling are the stupid and lazy way.

@@itoibo4208 why lazy ? Parents are an authority, one thing is a spank and another an abuse. Mom just look at me and I knew I had to calm down, same with dad. Now days parents are controlled by kids.

The key for kids is shut up and don’t have emotions and don’t get attached to anything

I agree with this. My mom would say this to me all the time. Be calm. I had a dad who had a terrible temper (verbally abusive) and my mom was always calm. She said the adult is the one who isn't screaming. If you aren't screaming then you are actually the one in control. She is a mother of 9. A grandmother to 20 grandkids. Her advice has really helped me, I am expecting #6.

I'm glad there still are some theachers like u around!!!❤

My 2 yo granddaughter took 45 minutes on the pavement next to my car, with me letting her have a tantrum, without rolling into the road. Older generation people smiled and passed, acknowledging,’been there, you’re coping, nearly done’. When she was done, she got up and got into her car seat. The next time was at a supermarket, 20 minutes. I just had to bide my time. No bribing, no promises. When she got up I said, ‘shall we get the shopping now?’. No more after those 2 episodes. My other granddaughter, at the same age, 30 minutes to get her to want to get in the shopping trolley. I was with my d-in-law and her toddler. She went shopping, I stayed outside for 30 minutes, waiting for the tantrum to finish. My d-in-law came out and asked where we went. She did her shopping. I eventually went in to store, and straight out other end, just to complete the visit. No shopping. First and last tantrum with nanny.

@@danoyse8233very wise. your sons and daughter in laws should watch this video.

I've never thought to apply the NCO Creed to parenting...parts of it at least. I'm the "officer" in my house, so I'll accomplish my duties. But seriously.... No one is more loving than I. I am a father, a leader of my children. As a leader of my children I realize that I am the most important person in my children's lives, the backbone of their success. I am proud of my children and will always conduct myself so as to bring credit upon them and my family regardless of the situation I may find myself. I will not use my position as a parent to obtain pleasure, profit, or personal satisfaction at a cost their successful development as responsible, disciplined, and competent members of society.

@Katana_soul_91 with children this is a other game. They are still in a learning proces. No child is the same. they are not yet influenced by the wishes of adults and so think very differently about rules. That is why no child can be put in a box..

I hate to be that guy but it's *3rd* not 3th...

I destroyed few plastic horses when my daughter thought my words are just words. It works like a charm.

@@jordaine1469 thanks. I come from the Netherlands. So forgive me please.

not many people teach parenting with this level of honesty but at the same time still disciplining the child in a humane and caring way

@TRG4YouTV, I can relate, I’m a stay at home dad of 5 also. 15, 13, 4yr old boys and 2yr old twin girls. The 15 and 13 yr old are polar opposites as are the twins and my 4yr old is most like me and I have yet to determine if that’s a good or bad thing! Lol

Y’all should get some jobs

I hope you are successful

it’s never too late

Same here. I totally get jt. What a trap. 😭

God Bless you and your Family🤗 May God Grace you with much Patience, Understanding and Love 🙏🏻

all boys. good luck!

That’s crazy. Must have fallen for a narcissist

Best of luck to you, keep going :)

ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-hSNWkRw53Jo.html

Which book? Would love to buy it. Please let me know the title.

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Yeah it really helps if the parent has come to terms with their own demons and has a stable life, but unfortunately thats not always the situation and the kid has no choice to whom they are born.

I got one of those monster kids. It’s rough. He was stubborn but a good kid until he got to middle school and did a 180. It’s been rough with all his outbursts and constant mental and verbal abuse. Counseling, therapy, psychiatric and psychologist didn’t help. Spent a lot of time and money into getting him help but he never wanted it or participated. We are still doing what we can but there’s only so much a parent can take, so when he turns 18 and we sit him down and tell him if he continues his behavior we will be kicking him out. Not sure what else to do, we have 3 other children in the house to care for and occasionally protect from him and his verbal assaults and threats.

Did you look into food allergies? You don’t need to break into hives to be allergic or sensitive to foods… they Absolutely affect behavior. My son was defiant and aggressive and when we removed gluten from diet, we had a different kid. There are also things like what they are exposed to… what they play/watch… peers, etc… but do some research on food. It changed my whole family’s life

It's difficult too when most advice given isn't as brutally honest as this. It's usually heavily focused on seeing the child's perspective, which is a good thing to do. But without addressing the other side of it, as JP does here, about how hard it is and how hard it is to like your child who is constantly pushing you, it's easy to just feel guilty about small daily parenting fails. You worry you did lasting damage because all you can think of is the child's perspective. The guilt makes the struggle even harder. Honestly acknowledging how hard it is from the parent's perspective needs to be done more. It's supportive and encouraging... Other people go through it too.

@@Trolly.Troll. sounds like hes learning something from school that made him like that

And fortunately, most of learn as we go. Children are resilient and changing your parenting for the better is always the right choice.

@@crocadoodle7101 One year and one more child later, I can say you're totally right. God gives us grace.

Should be on school education, mandatory, society could be a better place.. Just look at history, for instance how Spartans raised their children, they must have has common knowledge that may have been issued at a church or other fornal gathering (not I'm saying we should raise a generation of conquering warriors, just more education for parents)

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Who told you it's worng to smack his bottom ? Your job as a parent is to prepare your child for the real world, this is what childhood is for ( even in other animals). In the real world if he is rude and belligerent to the wrong person in the wrong day, verry bad things can happen. There are real phisical violance consequences for acctions and every child must know this exists. You spanking your children will teach that lesson. Why would you deprive your child of it ? Are you confusing a spanking by a loving parent with a beating ?? Aren't you aware what the point of it is??

@@think2invest I'm referring on the rare spanking but I will mostly use reasoning instead of following my mums ways which were cruel almost sadistic which teach me nothing that resentment towards her.

@@crwonshe I’m sorry that your mom took her anger out on you, I went thought that with my dad. Things like this are sad, but the root of it is mental health. Just like a virus consumes cells and makes them it’s own. DNT be afraid to do something (assuming you know the difference between right and wrong) just because you witnessed someone else failing at it. Try and think of humans as animals… they have a very limited ability to vocalize how they feel towards each other, so what do they do? They are physical with each other to get the point across, but never let there emotions take over the job of preparing there offspring for the harsh world ahead

@@crwonshe he is not wrong especially boys do need some spanking to learn boundaries and to understand mouthing off to the wrong people will have very very bad consequences

@@crwonshe Parents that take their anger out on chidren using various excuses aren't spanking them they are beating them. The spanking comes after reasoning. First you explain to the child what to do, then you explain what he did wrong and why, and when a child insists on doing something wrong, then you spank him. And you try to use it as rare as possible ( not for trivial things ) beeing aware of bouth your anger and what spanking is used for.

What happened to the other two? 😅

@@julielitvinov173 good question. Thanks for pointing out my omission. It’s hard to keep things straight when typing on three 1 1/2 inch lines that continually scroll up and disappear as you type. We didn’t run the other two off. 🤣 I just forgot them in the tedium of trying to formulate a text on a 5 square inch keyboard. (We old goats over 40 learned on QWERTY 16 times bigger. I’ve struggled with the adjustment)🙃

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Yup, when they have no accountability at home nor the public schools, this is what happens.

Woke people need this advice

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I think the point JP is trying to make is that if you don’t get it right when the child is 2-4 years of age, you’ll have a full-fledged battle with a monster when they’re of age. That was his point about the chimpanzees as well.

@@goldenremnant2610 Well my experience was quite different from your interpretation of Dr. Peterson’s presentation. My kids were compliant and well behaved as toddlers and small children up till adolescence. Then all hell broke loose. And I don’t mean that figuratively.

@@Mike__G do you think hell breaking loose had anything to do with their upbringing or the household/family dynamic?

@@l-train7876 Maybe a little. Part of the issue was a neurological issue in the oldest coupled with drug use. The other was unduly influenced by Woke BS peddled by teachers and others in authority coupled with an unfortunate sensitivity to cannabis that ultimately led to psychosis and death.

@@Mike__G but don’t they learn authority from their dad first? Do you think they felt a strong sense of connection and trust with you before the drugs came into the picture? I also ask you this b/c my brother had problems with my dad and also ended up violent, abusive, and alcoholic/drug user.

Is Gabor right?

@@moonknight4053 there are lots of videos of Gabor in YT. better you make your own search and conclusions. English is not my first language.

@@ermajaku I see, I try to look for the truth tbh, but thanks erma

It's about time out, you have to be present with your kid when he or she is most upset. Because otherwise the kid will think his emotions don't matter. I think Peterson will agree to this.

@@I_dont_know-wx2bo this!