Playing Safely Without Safewords 

I love how the tone of this video is informative, informative, sneakily inserts “As soon as this begins, I’m in charge and I decide when it stops” *swoon*, then back to being informative. 😉

Safewords are needed because even outside of consent issue, accidents and injuries can happen and even the best of us miss things.

Thank you so much for such a great video! My husband and I started out with a safeword because that's what everything we read said to do, but we found it awkward and not really useful. We ended up much more like what you talked about for long term couples - communication during the scene. It makes me feel better that that's what you do as well.

It's a very broad topic, and you presented this aspect of safewords beautifully! I'm delighted that you will be talking about the stoplight (red, yellow, green) method. Safewords is a critically important topic in our 'world'! So well done, Kelley, thank you, as always! ❤️

This is so important! Thank you for covering so beautifully

Miss Kelley thankyou for such a wonderful lesson on our safety and what you last said about negotiations I will diligently work on.😊

This makes me realize my top/dom/ disciplinarian makes me see how my feelings are valid and the relationship we have isn’t safe

Sometimes I consented in advance to allow 5-10 additional swats after the safeword as a means to control pushing my limits

I am learning so much. This is helping me broaden my spanking from just the cane to try a variety of implements. Thank you so much.

Thank you, these videos are helpful :) You're very good at explaining things effectively

Another amazing video! Well done. There was a lot in this one I either hadn't heard before or hadn't thought of. So Thank you! #SafewordGang

Wonderful video thank you! Ive been assaulted during a spanking and it was really traumatizing. I'm so sorry that happened to you too 😔 I'm really glad your out here talking about these difficult topics and educating folks. I was wondering how I would go about finding a professional spanker in my area? I live in Vancouver BC, any suggestions or recommendations would be most appreciated. Thanks!

This is such a great video! So spot on! I’ve always wondered if someone is in a relationship where they are truly punished consensually, if there should be a safe word used. It sounds like even for true punishment spankings there should be. My wife and I do not use a safe word, but it sounds like we should have her vocalize a safe word to me, just in case. I have never gone too far for her, but better to be totally safe.

Even people who engage in vanilla sex should have safewords or at least thoroughly discuss what consent looks and sounds like for one another. As we know, there are a lot of vanilla types who don't take "no" for an answer. In fact, I feel more comfortable playing with an experienced, trusted BDSM practioner than a random vanilla dude because (good) people into BDSM are waaaaayyyy more into/knowledgeable of consent than many of the vanilla guys I've gone out with.

Thank you for the informative content! I completely agree you should always use a safe word. As a bottom who is larger than my top, I could always just stop the scene without a safe word but prefer to not have that option. Do you have an opinion or advice relating to restraint during spanking?

5:24 Yes ma'am. That is one of the reasons I personally shied away from the community for so long. At that time other submissive/bottoms and myself found that our consent/decent was a joke or unnecessary to some of the Doms and I really didn't hear other Doms speak up in defense of us bottoms to what that truly means for us. If I knew what I know now I might have spoke up, but then again I doubt it cause at that time I felt like I would be stepping out of line and I would get in trouble or something. I remember asking someone though if safewords were really not used and that individual told me that those are for newbies. Probably due to my concerned expression they asked if I was a newbie, I said yes, they kindly said this group is probably not for you then, I told them I appreciated their honesty and so I stopped taking part in the munches. For me I realized I needed to find someone that valued consent/decent as I do. In a decade I only meet one individual who did(Not that there weren't others out there, it just wasn't ment for them and I to meet.)and I truly love and appreciate that experience I had with them. This is probably silly of me Miss Kelley, but I feel a little special that I can relate to what you said in a video was your favorite scene to watch.😊 I have no idea if the atmosphere of consent/desent has improved in the community, but I hope that advocates such as yourself Miss Kelley have been taken seriously. I will say to each their own, but as for me even though I too have that desire to see how much I can handle a safeword or safe-gesture will always be in place. 😊

I've always used the stop light system, and so far never used "red", but I have used "yellow". Actually kind of surprised the hell out of me--but I was more overwhelmed than anything. I'm on the autism spectrum and I think getting overwhelmed is a huge possibility--maybe probability. Can happen mentally before I might look too distressed.

5:45 Absolutely and how I love being put in that position😊! Yet if I am not permitted to decent to what is happening to me #1 that certainly counts as either type of assult and #2 if I can't at least pause the moment to address an issue I could then be serious hurt and I am most certainly not able to enjoy our scene; even if I tried to maintain that wonderful emotional feeling of being helpless and submitting.

Another great video very informative....thank u Princess Kelley May

You respect the Perry. I like two safe words one stops and another word quits. You still give and receive after care.

A lot of food for thought. Thank you!

Never play with a top who thinks they don't need a safe word. They think too highly of themselves. The safe word is for someone's safety, and if they are willing to risk someone's safety because of their oversized ego, you don't want to play with them. I have seen "professionals" online saying they don't want their clients to have a safe word, or that they can have a safe word but that they are discouraged to use it! Don't pay those idiots. Go to someone who's a real professional.

Regardless of the necessity of safewords, is someone who disregards your sense of safety really someone you would want to play with?

Loved the video and I believed a safe word is needed during role-play or real sessions because without safe words a spanko will only decide how far a sub needs a spanking 4 and thats wrong

Discussing this with my wife is very uncomfortable. Shes not into spanking much but a safeword helps when we try it. Thank you for this video. Maybe we can try now without a safe word

11:19 Wow❤, how altogether wonderful it would be to be in a relationship like that with the woman I am right for and she is right for me😊. It would take quite a bit of trust in someone to surrender at that level, yet I would have to say that this is the whole goal of the type of relationship I desire to be in the future. Honestly though isn't that the goal in general to be in a relationship with someone/ones that you can truly trust. Sadly as far as dominance goes, there are few ladies such as yourself Miss Kelley or so it seems and so I will patiently await the day that I can commit my desire of utter surrender. I have thought in the past if I could handle being switch and I believe so, but I would be channeling that act through my overwhelming desire to satisfy or please and it would not be of a natural desire to dominant.

My safe word is stop. And I’ve never once been allowed to use it or have been heard and respected when I’ve used it

I always had a safeword but after being with my current partner for five years, we stopped using it. We just do in-scene communication now and it works for us.

I think the best approach is a long conversation with a potential spankee and learning as much about her experience and wants as possible. And always a safe word for a first time scene and yes stop occasionally and see how she’s doing down there 😏

Thank you for the informative video. Do you think a top that doesn't mention safewords before a scene is someone to avoid? The first time I played with someone, the topic didn't come up, but I started holding my breath (due to surprise) and the top was experienced and aware enough to stop spanking and remind me to breathe in and out.

Here is a good story. I found a new Top and we had played together maybe 6 months. I was being very very naughty. My Babysitter was giving me all kinds of spankings as I was in little space at the time. So spankings hurt but not a great deal. My Top stopped the scene and said, jimmy you don't play this way ever. what is going on? Well I told her I was stressed and really just needed a good cry. Well my Top really started to lay the belt into me and I got to cry in little space. I got lots of hugs and cuddles. We finished out the 2 hours and my play was back to normal. No my Top never bruised or damaged me lol

On the few occasions I've been lucky enough to be spanked, amongst other things the traffic light system worked perfectly

"murder, etc."

I was in a scene one time, Babysitter/naughty boy and my safe word was ignored. I was badly beaten with my bum bleeding for 3 hours and my bum from back to my legs was badly bruised for 6 weeks. She refused to stop. The Top said that she would finally if I cried. I just pretended to cry and must have done a good job because she did. I got the hell out of there. I almost got out of the life style. it was very bad. I was in little space at the time.

My safe word is ‘ow’.

is there anyone here interested in finding her lifetime soulmate? Ive been seeking for so long and still in search, if anybody here , please let me know

The only safe I need get over your knee you bad boy