Poj Niam Sony. 6/5/23 

My husband married me for him, not for his family, friends, nor relatives. This guy sound like the problem. Sound like he didn’t really love his first wife.

I’d like to hear the other side too…

Tsis yog tim poj niam os tim koj tsis txawj coj xwb os hmoob aws

We humans always have to blame someone to make us feel good 😂! Feel happy 😊whatever!

I am the same way, I have no one ever show up at any of my events, I always go and help other,but when I do something, no one shows up, I am done with people

I’ve been married to my husband for 25 years, there are just some family members you never see. Those are the ones that do stuff and no one goes help. Respect goes both ways and so does showing up to help. As a husband you also got to do your part.

I think Hmong people find so so so many reasons not to help. Bad wife, orphans, education, wealth, not married the list goes on. If I married a man I married to start my own family. Not to take care of everyone else’s family. No matter how much we do for our spouses it’s never good enough. He just wants a title. The good wives get cheated on as well. So this guy just trying not to feel guilty.

You arent a man, if you are waiting on your wife and want the approval of your relatives. Your ex is the lucky one. Your 2 nd wife must be exhausted.

I'm not sure this is the truth to his escape in the marriage. Want to hear other side as well.

Tus txiv tsev koj yuam kev lawm os. Kuv tus no na pab neeg 1000 zaus twb suav tsis txheeb lawm txog kuv thib muaj ib co kwv tij tseem tsis xav tuaj pab kuv thiab na. Tsis tim koj poj niam os, tim koj xwb. Ua cas nim tuaj khav theeb ua luaj li os, muab 10 xyoo rau lub neej xwb os yeej yuav muaj phem xwb xwb nawb, tsis ntseeg saib mus mas. Xiam tiag tiag tus thaub no

Ua ib tug txiv tsev xav tau poj niam zoo yuav txib nws ua noj ua haus,nws tsis txawj los koj yuav tsum qhia,coj nws mus koom kwv tij,mus txog tom lawv koj yuav tsum txib nwz ua qav ua num.tim koj poj niam 80% tim koj tsis txawj ua txiv txawj cob 20%

What about the husband ? Why doesn't he go help his side of family too? There is 2 side to this story!

Es tus Txiv Sony nes, nyob qhov twg thiab os? I would like to know a Sony Husband too!🙌

When it comes to relationships, we need to treat the other person's family as we would like them to treat our.

My old man told me these wise words before he passed away. His words "Neej tsa koj yog tus tiam thiab khiav, kwvtij yog koj tus pojniam tiam thiab khiav nawb mog." Got me cratched my head.

I agree with this guy. There are some women like this one who only care for her side of family and never love her husband side of family. I seen it before.

True story 😂. Some people like that but when it's their party they expect everyone 😂

May, this is a beautiful picture of you.

I only believe you 10%. Cov lug no yog lug poj Niam xwb.

What is a pojniam SONY?! I’m confused.

Lol sounds like the problem was your kwvtij 😂. Nej yog cov hmoob cob tub sav? Kuv xac mas koj tsis xav hlub koj tus 1st wife xwb os, yus didn't provide enough reason to divorce her. Sounded like you wanted to please and marry your kwvtij instead 😅. The only thing I hear and can put together is that koj siab me es koj hlub tsis taus koj cov neejtsa but lawv thiaj yog cov nav thwm thiab tuaj koj xwb ne???

😊 I applaud you for sharing such an inspiration story, we needed more of this kind of stories. I am glad to hear you are happy and married your soul mate.

Ib tug zoo niam tsev, zoo txiv tsev mas tsawg tsawg thiab laj nrhiav tau. Hos cov es tshuav yog poj niam thiab txiv neej puas sov saum txaj saum chaw xwb ces tig sab twg los tsuab tau.

Zoo Siab tia koj ntib ib tug niam tsev zoo lawm los yuav tsuam hlub2 nw nawb

Hmong is all about connection and politics. If you’re a no name individual, don’t matter how much you slave you’re a nobody. To make it in this day and age you gotta have money, status and thick face. Otherwise welcome to the other side.

We as a woman and housewife, we should know what our role and duties are among our family/relatives. Stop blaming him, it’s the wife who is siab me and can not serve both side of the family. She favor her side and it is true that some women are siab me tiag if you have not seen any you won’t know. She did unto herself only. I know there are 2 sides of the story but if she’s that good of an ex-wife then why would her 2nd husband send her back. Think about it!!

Koj cia Koj Tus poi Niam ua qhev mas Koj thiaj zoo siab os

That's true. If u don't come help me when i needed your help, then don't expect me to come help u when u need help.

Nws hais yog zoo thiab coj tau zoo kawg. Zoo siab rau koj thiab koj tus hlub tshiab nawb kwv tij.

Hmong people give and expect something back…this story is about how Hmoob people live, Hmong only give and help others because they were first got helped and received money. Hmong people will never give to a specific person because they never got anything from that person.

Yog kawg !!! Poj niam Sony daj dhee tau lawm yuav kav ib txis, Poj niam Sayao tsuas yog kev plees Nkauj nraum ib vuag dua.

You don’t even know what a marriage is. .. or what love and real friends are.

The biggest flaw in the Hmong community is that people are always keeping count of names and the number of times they show up for anything. Why can't people just lend a hand for help sake and stop with the nonsense of tallying? Why tu siab that people don't show up for you? The show must go on, so you just appreciate the people who do show up. There is no need to keep a huge circle and keep a tally. Just keep to your own and show up where you can. No need to impress anybody... less headache.

I believe this man, lots of women only love their side of the family.

Just be happy for him with no questions ask just like the other stories… I would’ve love to hear from all the other stories from the guys prospectives too

Brother , it's a two-way street. She was only 16 years old, and you're over 20. You should've been in control of the finances, especially when your wife is sorely lacking in kindness and as a wife. Don't lay all the blame on her because you allowed her to.

Peb ua neeg nyob yeej txawj yuam kev mog viv ncau..txob nyob lawm kav tsij muab pov tseg kiag xyum nyob ib leeg zoo dua txob ua rau cov niag txiv dev no muaj2 phu2 mog

คู่แท้

I’m not gonna side with this man bc there’s always two sides to the story. Some ppl have anxieties and are introverted, hence the lack of wanting to socialize and be surrounded by lots of people. Maybe there’s some type of mental health that they don’t know how to interpret so they think it’s automatic hatred towards others. I think the marriage could’ve been saved, had they sought counseling.

Zoo heev li o

This just means that his wife is the sucess behind his marriage. He doesn't do much for the woman he is married too. And hes a man, can he not go to fhe gatherings without his wife lol. You have to take accountability for your your own actions. Because your family blamed you as well.

Tim koj tus poj niam yeej yog neeg siab me nplaum.80% yog tim koj tsis cob nws ua noj ua haus tsis cob qhia thaum 3 tag kis vim koj yuav mos y 14 xyoo los koj tsis cob.yus xav kom tau ib tug poj niam zoo yus yuav tau qhia kom nws ua yog nws ua tsis tau koj mam blame nws

Hard to judge when heard from just one side of the story. Life needs balance, a focused point, the center of gravity, we all need to work around it...a family life and social life. Best wish for you both. Thanks for sharing your story.

I know some of the women like to focus more on neej tsa NOT kwj tij, i agrée with you brother, cov neeg focus more on neej tsa Tsi tsuam txog twg thiab os

Koj thiab koj tus txiv los poj niam lub neej tsim txiaj los ntawm koj tsev kwv tij ua ntej tshaj plaws tas mam li kis mus rau lwm cov txheeb ze. Yog koj tsis kam mus pauv lwm tus zog, lwm tus tsis zoo tuaj pauj koj zog rov vim lwm tus twb tsis muaj zog pauj rov. Yog koj mus pauv lwm tus zog noj thiab nyob xwb, lwm tus kuj tsuas tuaj pauj koj zog noj thiab nyob tib yam nkaus thiab xwb. Tsis tas li ntawv los yog koj ho mus pauv lwm tus zog lig, lwm tus kuj tuaj pauj koj zog lig thiab. Tib neeg lub siab yeej coj li no yog feem coob.

Sorry hmong community expects too much. Sometimes being saib mes is the way to go!

Zoo kawg

Kuv tus no kuv mus kwv mus tij , kuv Mus txog kuv yeej tsis lam Mus zaum, kuv mus khwv thaum pib txog thaum xaus los tseem muaj tej tug niam tsev tseem tsis nyiam kuv qees. Kuv tus txiv ces mus txog kwv tij Lis nws mus ua mai zaum ncauj mas ntsa zaj, yog nws mus ua pluas noj nws tsis paub ua qab luag tej niam tsev twb tsis nyiam nws Mus kov ces kuv kom nws txhob Mus kov lawv tej khoom noj cia lawv mam ua lawv tabsis Kuv mas mus pab ua yam kuv pab tau, mus ntxuav Lauj kaub tais duav thaum pib txog thaum xaus. Mus neej tsa los kuv mus, kuv Tus txiv ces mus neej tsa los Mus ua ncauj mas ntsa zaj, ncauj mas puam suab khaws tes taw tuag zawv kuv lub neej yeej tsis txog twg thiab. Qhov zoo ces Tus txiv tsev yuav tsum yog Tus muaj peev xwm ua taus, noj taus , hais taus txhob nyob poj niam qab tiab thiab yuav tsum txawj coj , txawj hais thiab txhob ua ncauj puam suab khaws tes taw tuag zawv thiab yuav tsum tau Tus poj niam coj zoo rau ob tog , txhob yog ua zoo rau nws neej nws tsav xwb.

Yog yus yov ua twmtswb thiab coj raws li twmtswb. Ces tsis tas Yus yov caw kwv tij zej zog tuaj koom. Txawm txog hnub yus tus kheej tuag los, yus yeej tsis nrog leej twg sab laj hlo. Yus cia li tuag li twm tswb tuag xwb tiag. Yus tuag thaum twg ces cia li Xa ncaj qha tim hoomaum los rau tom qha ntxa ces faus kiag xwb mam li los ua memorial tom tsev xwb. Ho muaj dab tsi thiab.

Lol, people who believe this story is too naive. 1. Cos kwv tij paub tab will never tell you to divorce your wife of 20 years. 2. Cos kwv tij paub tab, especially tus leader would never shame anyone even your ex in front of people during your son's wedding. 3. When your mom passed away, cos kev tij yelled at you and said they came bc of your younger brother only. If it was me, I would have thanked them for loving my brother much and walked away. A lot of the details in the story don't add up. This seem like a made up story to shame our Hmong sisters only. Or at least get pay back from all these horrid Hmong men stories. Lol

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Cov neeg coj li no ces yuav yog tuam txhob thiab laus thiaj paus tau xwb

I feel so sad for the first wife. She was vilified by his clan. Hope karma comes for him soon.

Tus brother aw kv los tau 1 niag txiv coj zoo nkaus li kj niag poj niam thiab lub neej zoo li no mas dhuav tiag2 li os dim plaws nws mas tshav ntuj nrig os nrog kj zoo siab yuav tau tus zoo niam tsev os

This man blamed the first wife for everything but didn’t take any accountability on his part.

I need to hear the ex wife's side before I make a decision , please keep me updated.

YEEEEE HAAA!!! 😅🤣😂 GOTTA LOVE THIS STORY. A WOMAN WHO ISN'T SUPPORTIVE OF HERSELF, HER HUSBAND, HER CHILDREN, AND HER HUSBANDS FAMILY IS DESERVING OF A WALKING A LONG DIRT ROAD. THERE'S NOT MANY GOOD HMONG MEN OUT THERE, BUT WHEN HE'S SET FREE FROM A BLACK WIDOW. HIS LIFE WILL BLOSSOM FROM THE BLESSINGS OF A GOOD HMONG WOMAN REGARDLESS OF THEIR PAST. MY BROTHER, NO MATTER WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU, LOVE THE LIFE YOU HAVE. WE ARE THE LUCKY ONES. I KNOW EXACTLY THE NEW LIFE YOU HAVE. TO US... "LOVE LIFE, LOVE YOUR NEW WIFE AND CHERISH FAMILY." DAMN LIFE IS GOOD!! 💪

There are two sides. This is the f'ing problem with Hmong men and hmong culture. The nastiness the jealousy. if you don't do for me I dont do for you if you don't show up I'm not showing up. where is the love for each other. Show the way to be there for people lead righteously if you want to act as a leader. This is why Hmong people fail at everything and family members fight against each other. My father alway said if people don't care and hurt him he will stand his ground but, he will not get even in such a nasty way. He will help out of kindness and not get even in dirty play. sorry there is a reason Hmong men fail in comparison to other cultures. 🎉 to Hmong men it will take 100 years to see a change.

I was like what is poj niam sony..isnt sony a electronic brand? Lol and then towards the end it made sense.

Yog koj tus poj niam twb zoo li koj hais ko, yog vim li cas koj tseem nrog nws sib txuas lus thaum koj twb tau ib tug niam tsev zoo lawm os brother?

Poj niam sony yog dabtsi? Kuv xav ntse nws tus poj yuav tib cov khoom Sony brand xwb es nws khaub hlab tag.

Tus txiv tsev koj hais tias koj rov ua koj lub neej kaj kaj siab, koj tus poj niam yuav koj nws puas kaj kaj siab li koj thiab na, tsam koj tus me poj niam twb tsis kaj siab, tiam sis nws tsis xav kom lub neej puas dua zaum 2 nws thiaj khwv ua txhua yam zoo rau nws tus kheej xwb, mloog koj tham zoo li koj tsis hlub koj tus poj niam li koj tus poj niam hlub koj, koj cia koj tus poj niam ua hauj lwm ntau dhau..koj tsis pab nws koj tsuas qhuas kom koj tus poj niam ua koj qhev xwb

Just because your wife don't go to your side of family does not mean you can't go....If you go, they will come help and help for your sake.

Niaj hnub no kuv tus txiv yog tus neeg tham2 hluas nkauj thiab tseem nyiag kev mus yuav tau ib niam Hmoob nplog thiab tseem yog ib tug ua hlub tsis tau kuv cov neej tsa ib qhov dab tsi li kuv niam kv txiv tej neej tsav tu siab tag hos nws xav kom kuv ma ua txhua2 yam rau nws niam nws txivnws kwv tij xwb kuv ces niaj hnub no nyuab siab kawg tug txiv siab phem siab me2 li no puas tsis nyog yuav lawm na tsoom phooj ywg

hwj koj tus niam tsev no mas kuv qhuas tias zoo heev lawm tiag

Tsis rov yuav poj niam tub nkeeg poj niam siab me lawm lau....Qub neeg qub siab qub dev qub ntxiab xwb yog av tsis lim ces yeej hloov tsis tau. Tab txawm tiam tshiab los tus ntsuj plig tseem yog tus qub thiab xwb.....

I'm glad u found someone whose energy and love matches yours.

Nws siab me Los koj yog tus txiv yuav tsum siab loj thiab coj koj tus niam tsev ua noj ua haum. Nws tsis mus kwv mus tij Los KOJ yog leej txiv koj yuav tsum mus thiab, but koj Los yeej tsis mus thiab es thiaj li muaj this story to piav and hais. Don't blame your wife but yourself as well.

I don't think the problem is within your wife but it's you. Koj ua tsis tau txiv nes. Now you put all the blame on her.

Nyob zoo os uncle aws, Iam happy for you and your new wife. You don't owe anyone any validation or explanation because you did everything right. You were a good husband to her. You were a good father to your family and also your relatives. Your ex wife is delusional and narcissistic. She took your kindness for weakness, you gave her so many chances and so many choices but she didn't change her ways. Now that she see your life has flourished for the better, she crawls back begging? No, she made her bed let her lay in it.

She married you when she was 16. It was your fault for not telling her the right way. Tim koj xwb os. Koj siab me ces nws siab me, koj tub nkeeg ces nws tub nkeeg. It’s all on you. Don’t blame her.

Ntiaj teb no puas muaj cov txiv Sony li no lawm thiab nev. Xav nrhiav 1 tug thiab. 😂😅

Yeej muaj ib co poj niam neejtsa xwb!

First off, being divorced doesn't define a person. It's your actions or lack of it that makes you who you are. Life is about learning, so one must keep learning to be the best that you can be. Love is a 2-way opportunity. However, if she's able to do it to her side, she should be able to do the same for yours. There's no excuse. If you're able to love yourself, then you're able to love someone just as much. It is also how you allowed her to be. You allowed her to wear your pants and didn't let her know her role as a wife. But she should learn along the way what her role is. After all, she's been divorced 2x and knows the reasons why. If she wants to be a hmong wife, then she knows what she needs to do. You need to leave and block your ex from your life. It wasn't good to begin with, and so the divorce happened, so leave it in the past. As for you and your current wife, it is good that you finally found your match. Love her and take good care of her. Don't take her love and kindness for granted. Love your wife, and you'll have a great life.

Cov tees mees zoo li no feev ntau mas yog cov txiv tsev ua tsis tau txiv xwb...nws tsis muaj noos qes...

Qhov koj ywj koj Tus poj niam es koj hais tsis tau koj poj niam hlub koj tsev neeg ces 1 qho luag hais tias vim koj pw poj niam qab tiab lawm. Koj ntshai nws, koj nyoo nws, koj ua tsis taus txiv, koj hais tsis tau nws, koj tsis noj hnia qees hais kom tau nws. Koj pw nws qab tiab lawm,. Koj cia nws ua txiv lawm ces ua ntau thiab ntau ces nws thiaj muab koj tsuj tsis ntshai koj lawm. Cov txiv neej uas pw poj niam qab tiab hais tsis taus poj niam ces zoo li no los más.

This story is either fake or the husband is an a--hole. It took him up until his kids are grown and married for him to realize his wife was stingy? For reals dumba--. He probably cheated and blamed her for it. This story is one sided.

It's never that easy. We have a relative who never goes to help other relatives but I think its because hes autistic but hes from the OGs and they dont believe in that stuff, therefore never got diagnosed. He only will only go to ppl he feels truly comfortable with. Therefore she might have some sort of mental health issue. Not everyone is the same. The husband needs to step it up if the wife cant. Hmong ppl dont understand other health issues except physical sickness. You should have loved your wife enough to see if there was underlying issues and work towards treatment to address it. You blamed everything on your wife, I've seen cases in where the husband is out going and helps the community. The wife doesnt but ppl still come because of the husband

Cias koj tus poj niam tuaj piav nw sab thiab mas. Tej zaum kuj tsis tim nw tag tag thiab. Yog koj tsev neeg tsis nyiam nw ces lawv yuav tsim teeb meem rau neb lub neej.

I think i like her hot revenge stories more than these revenge recovery stories, its boring..lol😅

Zoo siab qhov koj tau 1 tug new super sony wife lawm tab sis koj puas yog 1 tug super sony husband thiab ?hope you love you new spouses neej tsa tib yam koj ntshaw nws hlub koj kwv tij thiab hos

Ok, I don’t get it. Even though your wife didn’t go help, what happen to you as the husband? Stop blaming your wife. At least her family came for her but none of your family came. So dumb.

Your life is yours, not your relatives. If you're going to allow your relatives to tell you to divorce your wife then you are not a man.

What does the title have to do with this story? It should be called "Behaviors of Bad Wife vs. Good Wife".

Wow! 😮 You must have a very big clan in order for them to help you with over 10k for your sons wedding.

Hmong society is outdated and we need to make some changes to the way we treat either about noj mov ncig zos.

Hmoob wives- slaves then the txiv tsev have more faces!! Hmoob lifestyle 😂

As a wife, I like to attend event from both sides of the family. Can’t just attend one side only. In this story, the husband allow the wife to do whatever she wants so she only want to attend her side of the family only. It’s both of you at fault.

I wouldn’t want to be around family who talked down on me or encourage my husband to go find someone else anyways! I’m sorry but I help those who help me and no one pay for my bills so don’t tell me what to do or who I have to pleased. As long as our close family is taking care of that’s all it matter

Moral of the story: never put your happiness in someone else’s hands.

เรื่องนี้ ควรฟังผู้หญิงอีกคนเล่าด้วย เล่ามาแบบนี้ เหมือนเหยียบผู้หญิงคนนั้นเกินไป ผช. ฟังคนอื่นมากกว่าครอบครัวตัวเอว สักวัน ญาติพี่น้อง บอกว่า คนใหม่ไม่ดีอีก ก็ต้องหาคนใหม่อีกหรอก

Vim koj ruam tshaj ruam lawm. Vim koj twb tsis nco tias leej twg tsa ceg es koj tawm los na. Ho koj pojniam li nws hwm tus neeg tsa ceg nws tawm los ne. Cov tub los yog txiv neej zoo li koj ces mus sam ua pojniam nawb.

Leejtwg tsis tau ntsib cov neeg qia dub mas leejtwg tsis paub naw. Tus txijnkawm ua li cas los txhaum nws tag naw. Nws yeej tsis pub luag cev ib qho rau luag tsev neeg li aw

Because you having been in this guy’s shoe, you’ll never know! We all know a lot of younger generations girls are like his ex wife!

Txawm koj tus pojniam tsis nyiam tsis khiav kwv tij neej tsa los yog koj khiav lawv ces txog koj lawv yeej yuav tuaj kawg os. Lawv tsis xav rau koj tus pojniam loa lawv yeej txawj txawj xav rau ntawm koj os. Nyias yeej tsuas txawj hus nyiam tus kwj tse xwb os. Im sure ur wife will tell a different story. She's ur children's mother. Learn how to respect each other like grown people

There are two types of persons in the world: a social one and a private one. I don’t think you first wife was bad. She just wasn’t social. While it’s good you found a social butterfly that is compatible with your lifestyle, you shouldn’t put your first wife down. She just didn’t fit your lifestyle.

Cov lus Koj hais Tej zaum yuav tsis muaj npaum Tej zaum yog tim Koj thiab tsis li cas twb laus tag tsis xiam qai lawm ho sib nrauj xav hnov Koj Tus niam loj cov lus tag thiab thiaj paub txiav txiv rau Koj kuj yuav muaj ib nrab tab sis ib nrab yuav tim Koj thiab txhob muab liam tag nrho rau Koj niam loj hahahaha

Brother koj twb yog tus cob koj tus 1st wife nws thiaj zoo li ntawv xwb. Koj tus 2nd wife tos zoo los nws tus ex cob nws mus li ntawv ne.

Kuv xav mas koj twb txeeb lawv tus lawm tej zaum thaum ub nws tus niam loj quaj thov koj koj tsis k niam no thiaj npam koj koj thiaj tau quaj ntsuag li nws thiab os sister. Txhob mob siab os yam yus ua lawm ces txawm tus neeg ntawv hais tsis tau los ntuj qis2 lawm npam sai2 li lawm .tiam tam sim no txhua tus yuav tau ua qhov Zoo nawb

Txhob hloov siab xwb mas.