pov: it's getting worse again and it's all your fault [a playlist] 

hii sweeties i haven't posted for like 8 months and i'm really sorry, i have been through hard times lately because of school and also because of personal reasons. i will try to be more active and i apologize again:(( anyway, here you are the timestamps: 0:00 rain - jack stauber 0:35 memoir #2 - may roosvelt 2:46 poison tree - grouper 6:20 just take my wallet - jack stauber 7:52 vas - jagger finn 9:33 you not the same - tilekid 12:16 cigarettes out the window - TV girl 15:55 look who's inside again - bo burnham 17:29 young - vacations 21:05 haunt me (x3) - teen suicide 24:18 in my head - bedroom 31:37 inside out - duster 34:17 a burning hill - mitski 36:14 i can't handle change - roar

Pov: Everyone around you is getting confident, being happy and moving on and you’re still where you were a year ago…

Pov : you bottled up your feelings and now you don't know how to feel anymore

it hurts i dont even know what hurts, it just hurts.

Pov:you start to feel like you're losing your mind because of all the chronic mood swings and you can't recognize that these feelings are real or not

When you think everything is getting better. But then you realize, it hasn't got better...

Sometimes you're even ashamed to cry because it's all your fault

"I'm not a good person as I thought, I'm bad."

Pov: You hear everyone over in the next room laughing, and being happy. But as soon as you walk in to join in on the fun, nobody is laughing anymore...

That heart wrenching moment when you realize your right back where you were before you thought it was getting better

Pov: you think you’re finally starting to heal and move on when in reality, you’re just getting used to that feeling so it’s doesn’t bother you the way it did before 🙂

Its crazy how everything could be going good for the first time and your smiling again and all it takes is one person to get u back to square one.

Pov: Nobody noticed when you started to become depressed, anxious and mad, until you went off on them and suddenly you're the "bad guy" Edit: tysm for 177 likes, I rlly appreciate it!! ♡

Pov: You feel like you don't have any talents, hobbies or skills and you're just taking up space that could have been occupied by someone more worthy..

I just wish I could talk to someone about my problems without feeling judged. I hate this world.

you’re lost in your 20s whereas everyone in your life is moving forward. All you want is answers and a reason to wake up

When you realize no one ever talks to you unless you text first and you’re nothing more than an afterthought

Pov: falling back into old habits making you wanna unalive yourself again

POV: You lived a normal life before everything started going downhill. *You lost your friends.* *You realize your alone.* *You don't know who to trust anymore.* *Your grades are getting worse by the second.* Your life is being ripped apart, you see everyone continuing on without you. Your friends don't talk to you anymore, you don't have good luck. Medical problems are making everything worse, *You've been betrayed, and by life itself.*

Pov: you did something really bad and now the guilt is getting heavier and the sadness from your old memories starts coming back to you, and you just want to disappear forever.

WE KILLING OURSELVES WITH THIS ONE 🔥🔥🔥💯

Pov: When you thought this year was going to be your best year but it becomes your worst.

You know it’s a good playlist when it starts with jack stauber

pov : whenever they tell you how sweet you are and how precious and it feels like a literal gunshot to the heart because you're fighting demons

im not happy, but im not depressed. i have a good family, good friends, yet i always feel tired, tired of everything.

you know its sad when youd rather live in your dreams than real life

When you think you're getting better but realise you have just found comfort in the darkness instead.

pov: The year started well, but by the end of the year, you have barely anything left worth living for. You don't want to end your life either because you believe something good might still happen. But in reality, you are falling deeper into the abyss.

“I don’t care if nobody likes me. I ain’t here in this world to entertain nobody.” Wise words from me

POV:When you realise that you can’t even die peacefully

pov: it's summer and you realize you'll spend most of your days in your room doing nothing my parents and grandparents refer to me as the pale one of the family since i never go out.

I love your hair (or lack thereof) I love your eyes I love your nose I love your gender I love your mouth I love your face I love your grades I love your heart I love your sadness I love your happiness I love your loneliness I love your kindness I love your voice I love your singing I love your art I love your practice I love your work I love your time I love your music taste I love your strength I love your handwriting I love your weakness/weaknesses I love you when your kind I love you when your mean I love you when your smart I love you when you dont feel loved I love you when you are you I love you forever I love you now I love you every day I love you every month I love you every year I love you every second I love you every minute I love you every hour I love you every time you cry I love you every time your happy I love you every time you are you ----------------------------------- You right there, yes im talking to you. You are an amazing person, you can do anything your heart desires, you can have fun, you can be yourself, dont be someone that you dont want to be, be you. Love yourself for who you are. you never know if you'll see somebody that you love for the last time. Live life, be kind to people, ignore the haters, keep being yourself for who you are. ---------------------------------- I love your neck, dont hang it. I love your body, dont cut it. I love your life, dont end it.. ------------------------------ I love you 1% I love you 2% I love you 3% I love you 4% I love you 5% I love you 6% I love you 7% I love you 8% I love you 9% I love you 10% I love you 11% I love you 12% I love you 13% I love you 14% I love you 15% I love you 16% I love you 17% I love you 18% I love you 19% I love you 20% I love you 21% I love you 22% I love you 23% I love you 24% I love you 25% I love you 26% I love you 27% I love you 28% I love you 29% I love you 30% I love you 31% I love you 32% I love you 33% I love you 34% I love you 35% I love you 36% I love you 37% I love you 38% I love you 39% I love you 40% I love you 50% I love you 51% I love you 52% I love you 53% I love you 54% I love you 55% I love you 56% I love you 57% I love you 58% I love you 59% I love you 60% I love you 61% I love you 62% I love you 63% I love you 64% I love you 65% I love you 66% I love you 67% I love you 68% I love you 69% I love you 50% I love you 51% I love you 52% I love you 53% I love you 54% I love you 55% I love you 56% I love you 57% I love you 58% I love you 59% I love you 60% I love you 61% I love you 62% I love you 63% I love you 64% I love you 65% I love you 66% I love you 67% I love you 68% I love you 69% I love you 70% I love you 71% I love you 72% I love you 73% I love you 74% I love you 75% I love you 76% I love you 77% I love you 78% I love you 79% I love you 80% I love you 81% I love you 82% I love you 83% I love you 84% I love you 85% I love you 86% I love you 87% I love you 88% I love you 89% I love you 90% I love you 91% I love you 92% I love you 93% I love you 94% I love you 95% I love you 96% I love you 97% I love you 98% I love you 99% I LOVE YOU 100% -------------------- I LOVE YOU SO MUCH WORDS CANT DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU ------------ spread the love around

It’s been a year since i was raped, 5 since i lost a father to addiction, 10 since my family became a narcissistic dynamic, and 17 since i was brought into this world. I have been waiting all my life for a reason to keep going. I’ve been waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel. I am so fucking lost

Pov: on the outside you think its getting better but on the inside you know your only making it worse...

To all the people, like me, who are much too tired to wax poetically about our heart ache: I see you, I hear you too. Your silence speaks volumes

All your friends have left and are much happier, they have changed, they are different, but you... You're still that same person, but this time you no longer have the strength to hide the sad and depressing emptiness hidden in your true face, so now everyone says you've changed and that you were never like that, but they don't really know you, they don't know the real you...They don't deserve you, but you keep trying to make them like you, even though you know they're toxic...They don't deserve you..They don't deserve you, They don't deserve you They don't deserve you They don't deserve you They don't deserve you They don't deserve you They don't deserve you They don't deserve you They don't deserve you They don't deserve you They don't deserve you They don't deserve you THEY DON'T DESERVE YOU...and you know that... In your mind, you created a wonderful character, that everyone likes, that everyone loves, it could be a famous person, actor, singer, voice actor, whatever... in your mind they love you...

Credit to my pillow for catching all of my tears and being there

POV: your scrolling down the comments so you can find the time stamps 😐

POV:nothing can hurt you the same way that hurt, nothing will be as bad as what happened…..nothing…

I’m so glad people on the internet actually know and understand what people are going through.

Pov: Strangers telling you your enough doesnt work when all you want is a hug from someone who understands and wont just feel pity for you

I thought, I really thought I was becoming ''somebody'', I dropped everything again, I blacked out to rebuild myself... I reached the bottom and looked at a lost boy. there is nothing else

I don't want rain, I don't want people, I just want darkness right now. Because darkness keeps you in reality while brightness keeps you in hope.

I thought everything was getting better, I thought I got myself on track, I couldn’t be more off. All of these negative emotions that I chose to ignore all came back to me, I thought I got better, but I was only brushing it off, I was lying to myself so that I would feel better. I never escaped these horrible thoughts, I just simply convinced myself they weren’t there. They were always here, growing stronger while I became weaker.

So I'm locked in my room lying in bed while I'm thinking about what I did and what I said, I feel like my heart is going to stop with every beat it gives

A supportive family and friends, no traumas, no toxicity, yet here I am wasting it all doing nothing while my life is going downhill. It's rough when you're disappointed in yourself.

mfw I do my best to improve, make people happy, be a good friend... but I mess up. I always do. I'm tired. I just want to make everybody happy. But I don't know how.

The second melody was literally crying. I never knew music could actually cry.

I want to be happy again, but don't think I can ever feel happy again.

Pov: You trying your best but nothing is standing by your side... You feel coold inside your heart and you wanna cry but you can't

Am I still in my nap time in kindergarten or was this all a dream or a nightmare

Things got better and now I'm caught up in the times again where I'm no longer feeling well

“All you wanted was to make others happy but in the end you made them sad”

POV: you're slipping away and trying to find a reason to hold on just a little longer

Im tired of life, everyday feels like a repeat, nowadays i feel comfort in the dark and alone but deep inside me i wish i had someone to leave the past and build a new future.

Pov : you had a rough childhood ang your parents is “trying to be nicer” to you but now you can’t feel anything bc of them…

I genuinely thought I was getting better, but then I realized that I have never been worse than I am now. It just keeps getting worse, I dont want to do this anymore

nobody notices how we cry and suffer every night but they notice the smallest mistakes weve made

That feeling when you lose the one You loved, but are still friends So close yet so far, you had a life together, something and someone to live for Now there's nothing, unsure of how to feel A mask is all there is when you go out, people say you look happier now Well I'm not happier, but thanks for the compliment I guess No I'm not ok, I haven't felt something in months, not even sadness, I barely miss her That's how little I'm feeling, I want to miss you, to feel the emptiness that you left in me, but I can't I wanted you to be happier, that's why I said ok when you said you wanted to leave But what about me? Do you still want me? Who am I without you? How can I live?

You're going through something worse yet you still cares and think about someone who is also going through something and you hope for them to be out of that darkness. Just the thought of them getting out makes you smile. It's fine even though you're gonna be left behind...:)

Pov: You thought you had gotten better, that you changed, but your the exact same as before, everything and everyone is falling apart around you.

Realizing you’ll never be a normal person really destroys your chances of making any kind of relationships.

It's such a strange feeling, knowing how you're going to die. What a cruel world.

Worst part about being friends with someone smarter than you, you constantly feel the need to score better than them. And when you don't... You feel like shit. Maybe... I'm the problem.

Pov: your just sitting there watching people around you being happy together without you...wishing you could be with them but you know that wouldnt happen because they hate you.

I dont remember the last time I looked at myself and felt happy, or the fact that I've cried more times in the past few weeks than the amount of times I've felt happy

You know, when I see songs of this playlist I cry, didn't even feeling sad because I listen this songs when I was in my bad moments of life, and this doesn't change like, I remember trying to do something already at a certain period of my life but it was so difficult and I didn't want to tell anyone because I know my friends won't help me, they just won't be able to and I realized that I was to blame for my problems and had to do everything myself but it's so hard for me, I'm not doing anything anyway, and it's I'm not morally going to It seems to me that I lost myself, my identity, a long time ago I even want to come back when I'm at least worried about everything, think about it, I needed it, what was I thinking about but I have already started so much that there are not even happy stages of life as usual I do not know where I am going or where it will lead me and even now, I think that I will give the essence of this comment for myself and maybe I will choose words that will make my condition clear but again I'm not satisfied with what I said, hoping again to think that someone will write under this comment and at least ask if everything is okay?

“When you focus too much on making sure others around you are ok, you forget to make sure that you’re ok” - me I have cried every tear, i have felt every feeling, i have thought every thought, i have heard every word. There is no more for me cry, think, feel, or hear anymore. I now await for the ever comforting eternal sleep, but im starting to get impatient and Im wondering if i should just go ahead and get it over with.

i need a hug.

I cried for the first time in a pretty long while last night, and today, I just feel numb. Like life is just a black hole slowly sucking us into into insanity.

Hits me hard realizing these were the exact songs I listened at my lowest

Thank for the song bro. This really cured my depression. Because I sad my 2 baby cat and my mother cat it got thrown away by my mom..

🧠 “Save the crying for after everyone goes to bed, no one wants to see how ugly you are” 👁 “Oh ok… thanks for letting me know…”

finally a playlist that has music that fits the title, swear playlist will have titles like this, then like super exciting energetic music, but anyone whose felt this way knows, energy is the last thing you'll be feel when youre this low

when you were a good person but something or someone corrupted you and you became a abomination you did terrible things you became a villian even though you promised yourself you wouldn't become one, there is a piece of you that wants to go back continue being good but the rest of the corruption has locked you into a bird cage forcing you to watch it do terrible acts while it laughs

i cant do this anymore thx for everything

Imagine you wake up after having a terrible nightmare. You run to your dad’s room, wake him up, and he comforts you after you told him how scared and afraid you were. He tells you: “You’re safe in my arms, Son. There’s no need to be afraid. I’ll always be here to protect you no matter what.” You go back to your room feeling very comfortable now that your dad made you feel better, and you lay down and fall back asleep with ease. You wake up that morning feeling very odd, as if something didn’t feel right last night. You get up to go make cereal in the kitchen, but you stop at your dad’s bedroom. The door is wide open, revealing an empty bed and vase full of your dad’s ashes next to it on the nightstand. A few tears run down your face, as it hits you like a brick. Your dad passed away 6 years ago. I miss you, dad.

I can't cry, my eyes have been dry after so much.

I was depressed a year ago badly and just wished I was invisible. This was during middle school 8th grade when i stopped hanging out with people that just didn't care about me or just made "jokes" about skinny shaming me, calling me names, etc and I just felt trapped in that little school and saw them every day in hallways or classes and I just hated it. When i got to high school I thought "finally now I won't see them everyday at least" and made new friends that were nice. I hung out with them, laughed, joked, and we're always choosing each other as a group. I used to have a friend in 8th grade that was actually nice but we didn't talk anymore because of not having same classes so we drifted apart. I saw her in my gym class and introduced her to my friends so she wouldn't be alone. They now started hanging out without me, grouping together, sitting at lunch without asking me to join them. I used to ask if I could sit with them but they barely payed attention to me anymore on what I said. I felt like I wasn't there at all. I was so happy and wouldn't go a day without smiling. Now it's back to the way it was and all those positive thoughts meant nothing. I'm now starting to cry every day again and feel like I'm completely alone. I always have the nerve to cry if someone isn't looking. I hate the way it has to go like this all the time. But now I'm switching schools cause of my parents wanting to get a better house. When i told them about it, 2 stayed silent and only 1 was like "oh. That's sad" they seemed like they didn't care at all. But I can't wait to move now. I used to care but now i don't anymore because there's nothing left for me in that school. I pray to god for me to some how find a best friend that will never leave me behind. But time goes on and it'll be too late as everyone has their own friends and I'll graduate soon. It sucks so much. I hope to find someone in the school I'm moving to now. And remember that it might get better one day like it did for me. But now I'm back to the same old way not wanting to talk to anyone anymore. My therapist told me to socialize but whenever i do, it seems as if they don't care. I won't care too then

My mother always gets comfort when she's crying in a drunk state yet when I was crying my eyes out in front of her, everything she did was just "stop crying, you're a man." "You know why they all comfort me? I gave birth to you! That's what I achieved!" Guess I won't have help and support unless I "achieve" something

Pov: you realize u hate you and feels like you can’t rlly get out of the loop of happy.sad.mad.repeat. And see you have so little friends and wish everything could be different.

Theres so much to be said about these songs omfg jacks confusion of the rain is just so profound and realistic. the wondering what ouve done wrong to deserve something you never wanted is too real because I can guarantee I go through it everyday. and the pain in all of them is just insanely unique and yet createively beautiful

Cried while listening cuz I thought of my dog, Max, that recently passed away. He was the only one I had to cry on, to hug, to pove, and to care for each other. I went thru a phase where I lost connection with everyone bc I didn't want to interact with ppl, but Max was always there to listen. He never interrupted, invalidated my feelings, ignored me, or told anyone else. He was there for me during my darkest times, and now he's gone. I miss him everyday, and I even bring a stuffed animal of him to school everyday and everyone loves him. I wish he was still here with me, but I'm just glad he went out peacefully and lived a happy life. I enjoyed it while it lasted. "I love you Maddie, always have, always will." 💗

When you feel like you're dying, you want to speak up, and then you realize that you're not bad enough to earn the right to complain without reproaching you.

I asked myself: "What's the point of loving people if they always have to leave?"

It reminds me of when I cried, cried and cried so much. That the dark part of my eyes when one cries is already part of me. Now I can walk out after crying and no one will notice. Everyone asks me, "how are you?" And I tell them "I'm very well and you?" But it's a lie... I'm not fine and I don't want to worry anyone... I just... :')

"I've been trying." "It didn't work." "Now, wheres the cliff?"

Everything is getting worse. They say it's my fault but... I really try to be better. I really try to improve. I'm not lazy, I really try to be nice to them... My heart hurts so much that I can't cry anymore. The tears don't come out. I just wanna be happy and peaceful.

That moment when you realize that it doesn't matter to anyone whether you live or die, everyone is living their lives at fullest, and you're kinda happy for them, you don't feel sad, or distressed, not even depressed. You... just don't feel anything.

You know its bad when people get shocked after hearing about your trauma while you just got used to it.

i’ve been alive for 14 years. every year between my 5th-10th birthday everything was okay. my heart has been beating constantly for 5,296 days. all of those days have been filled with challenges and things to learn from as i overcome them. for 127104 hours ive been here going through much more than the average kid/teen. in conclusion ive been living and i still am. for everything ive overcome ive met the most fantastic people ever. i believe that everything happens for a reason to have an outcome that you can learn from or be so grateful for. no matter if it’s positive or negative, you keep fighting through everything. never end your 14 year streak, your 5,296 day streak, or your 127104 hour streak. keep living through everything and keep going on and on past the negative things, so you can look back in the past and understand how hard it was for you. if you keep fighting, you become a stronger person and can potentially help those who have gone through what you have. everyone matters and so do you. i’m so proud of myself and everyone else. keep going!! ilysm🫀💗

I appreciate this comments, it makes me realize I'm overthinking and just making my life worse, I just gotta keep the good phase going and see what happens to me in the future. For the people who are suffering right now, just you know your not alone, and I know it might sound bullshit but it will slowly get better, you can't just hope your life to be successful and amazing in just blink of an eye, it doesnt work like that, it takes time. Stop overthinking and try working on your weaknesses, everyone around you is the same as you, they overthink and put an act to make you not to worry about them, but it instead makes you feel worse, there will be times when they don't know how you feel but you just gotta accept it because no one knows you better but you. As I'm writing this I hope in the future I have a happy life and I hope you guys have one too.

I feel like I always go to the sad playlists. I tend to cry a lot and just listening to them at night help me get all my emotions out. I hope everyone’s doing ok ☺️

I never understood what people meant that it’s worse to feel numb then other emotions.. but now i understand them completely. What happened to me? I was such a happy little girl..

Its tough wanting something and trying your best to get it but realize that you failed over and over again its tough realizing that if you dont chase the people they will disappear because they simply dont care its tough questioning if the thing you call your purpose is truly what you were made for.

I'm proud of you for sleeping. I'm proud of you for staying awake. I'm proud of you for eating. I'm proud of you for eating healthy. I'm proud of you for drinking water. I'm proud of you for brushing your teeth. I'm proud of you for showering. I'm proud of you for getting dressed. I'm proud of you for talking. I'm proud of you for being quiet. I'm proud of you for being loud. I'm proud of you for laying down. I'm proud of you for getting up. I'm proud of you for playing video games. I'm proud of you for studying. I'm proud of you for writing. I'm proud of you for drawing. I'm proud of you for painting. I'm proud of you for doing your homework. I'm proud of you for being here. I'm proud of you for leaving. I'm proud of you for breathing. I'm proud of you for blinking. I'm proud of you for reading. I'm proud of you for watching TV. I'm proud of you for taking care of yourself. I'm proud of you for taking care of others. I'm proud of you for being yourself. I'm proud of you for not giving up. I'm proud of you for showing how you feel. I'm proud of you for crying. I'm proud of you for being mad. I'm proud of you for being happy. I'm proud of you for being sad. I'm proud of you for being proud of yourself. I'm proud of you for loving yourself. I'm proud of you.♡ Please be kind and spread love not hate or anger.

0:00 rain - jack stauber 0:35 memoir #2 - may roosvelt 2:46 poison tree - grouper 6:20 just take my wallet - jack stauber 7:52 vas - jagger finn 9:33 you not the same - tilekid 12:16 cigarettes out the window - TV girl 15:55 look who's inside again - bo burnham 17:29 young - vacations 21:05 haunt me (x3) - teen suicide 24:18 in my head - bedroom 31:37 inside out - duster 34:17 a burning hill - mitski 36:14 i can't handle change - roar

POV: you finally feel you’ve accepted the fate of a loss but then another comes and hurts even worse…

POV: you act all happy and everyone thinks your happy but actually you just want to cry and feel depressed and have no one to talk to and you feel all alone

if world stopped loving you just start loving urself do things that make u happy only dont care about anything anymone other ppl doesnt deserve that at the end the peace and what you are looking for is inside urself....you just stumbled over a stone there is a long way left...so keep moving