As a people pleaser, I find it so hard to argue against others even if I thoroughly disagree. It makes me feel helpless because I feel I just let them walk all over me. I really need to somehow show some assertiveness without being over-argumentative.
I just try and get away unless i try and state something that is 100% true like earlier when i just said about 2 laws and then someone brought me into the argument and like 30 seconds later i was having a meltdown so thats why i hate arguments 💀
@@nosajsamaniego4512 This video is using an obviously very simple and basic concept as an example. Nobody is actually arguing over the color of the sky - the creator used that topic to be a placeholder for things people actually argue about. You trying to defend one of the characters in the videos fake argument is pointless.
If you can't avoid that person like the plague, knowing how to not escalate the situation will definitely help you not get instant verbal abuse. It's obviously not the ideal response, but it can help you survive in certain situations.
Well i agree kinda . But what if you are working and that person is a client, your coworker or even your boss. Knowing how to avoid conflict is useful. Not easy though
I'd just say "ok" cause it's not worth my energy to navigate a normal conversation with someone so argumentative. I don't mind letting them "win" this kind of thing cause I just don't care about it lol.
It is at least a good skill to develop, even if not applied all the time. Even interacting with children or family or someone who is usually lovely but having a bad day can get argumentative surprisingly. And I think this video shows how talking positively without dismissing the other person but redirecting the conversation can help share some positivity :) I think this person is not being walked all over, but rather it's like they're taking control of the conversation and of their reaction to someone else's emotions
@@janetuss6496 Yes, because in this video it felt a lot like explaining why both people are right and having to defend the first "the sky is blue" sentence. If I have to talk to people who want to take apart what I say. I just don't try to defend it but try not to care what they think. Otherwise I will have to work so hard for just a casual brainless sentence. (I know it's just an example but this is very representative of the things people have started arguments with me)
Something I learned in therapy was to not manage somebody else’s emotions for them and/or preemptively. If I overthink every word and how it may come across, it will only make others feel like they don’t need to regulate themselves and like they can behave any way they want in my presence. If I just talk without overthinking and managing everybody’s feelings for them, it also means I respect them and deem them capable and responsible enough to regulate themselves. Obviously this doesn’t mean you can in turn become the rude one, just that you don’t need to adapt to the other person while taking no space up for yourself.
I agree with you. So people get to be themselves and live stress free lives while I'm taking on all the burdens to artificially create peace? Yeah, not happening. Being sly and all is great when necessary, but as a lifestyle? You know you're surrounding yourself with the WRONG people. Like you can never relax. I don't engage with those who make me feel like I'm walking on a tight rope. One wrong move and boom, it's over or they become petty. Or people who need to be managed so that interactions aren't negative. It's exhausting. Find people with good hearts and minds instead because it's no fun if things fall apart unless you breathe/live a very limited path. Especially if you're free in spirit and value authenticity and choice. Also, if that means going at life alone, or with a few people, so be it.
@@jordanferguson2254 You still do have to address people like that, especially at places like work. A "sincere" person is sometimes also a person who feels they have to do more than other people to be accepted, or not fired, or just to advance themselves bc that is what their "high aspirations" (to escape the pack and survive) makes them want to do. Incidentally this may be seen as excessively ambitious and wanting to do more than is necessary or humanly dignified and sustainable, which in certain work cultures is badly seen. People want to keep things at a certain pace, and if they seem to perceive a certain mix of "inferior/superior", or oversompensating type of complex, they will pick on you, use microagression to push you down and that is why you want to adopt a very "laid back" artitude in certain types of job or with certain types of people. Pretend to be interested in them, which after all could be legitimate, since we are all humans, and don't be ashamed of your own flaws.
That is what i said...i told told him. You always want to debate me, and it's exhasting...he said i had issues..but decided he is no longer one of them
bonus points if you roll your eyes and laugh to yourself a little after. learned that from the mean girlies in high school, the masters of brushing you off and making you feel dumb for saying something😂
^^^^That's not what that does. Just makes you seem like an arrogant person who thinks they know everything. Only insecure people will internalize somebody using their body language to invalidate them like that
@@commanderwaddles3483not really. I don't like to argue over little things like in the video and if someone actually does that to me I would do the same, say "yeah" or "nice to meet you" and walk away.
@@commanderwaddles3483 it's only arrogant if you use it in the wrong context. If they used it in thie video's scenario, it's a passive aggressive but satisfying way to brush them off without causing a fight
Argumentative people like that aren’t just sharing information to share…they are on a rampage and want to belittle someone else because they feel unhappy themselves.
@Commander Waddles in this specific scenario ? The person is def looking for a fight i for one know why the sky isnt technically blue but you have to be a special kind of stupid to start an argument over it
Even the scientific explanation is wrong. Its because the blue wavelength is scattered due to particles in the atmosphere. Not because of earth's surface.
Was about to say this. The ocean is the thing that she should talk about here. The ocean is the thing which is clear, but appears blue because it reflects the sky.
Agreed as ex physics student, people like this are toxic and insecure, i had a fellow student who behaved like this, he failed physics and ghosted the uni
Seeing the disrespectful facial expressions and hearing the passive aggressive tones, I could never be that reserved back to someone. I’d rather respectfully tell them their points are interesting but to watch their tone or keep interactions with them to a minimum.
And you really don't have to. When people are being this jerks to you, you don't have to smile back and play dumb to make them feel better. Just need talk to them again.
No. Endless patience is not a good thing. After so long, you become a doormat. By standing up for yourself and telling someone how you are to be treated is healthy.
Tbh: I might’ve needed that “turn it into curiosity” thing because I tend to fight a lot when things are just misunderstandings between me and many people in my life.. FATE GIVES ME YET ANOTHER TIP TO LESSEN MY TOXICITY! 😅
Is about giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, and asking them - oh really? Then you look curious and they possibly feel bad for being so confrontational or at least feel heard by you, so they love you even more as a friend 😊👌
As the commenter above said, give them the benefit of the doubt. Ask them questions to clarify what they mean, or address the parts that raised concern or confusion in you. Also, realizing that you misunderstood (or that you both agree to the same thing but were talking in circles w/ one another) and pointing it out in a lighthearted manner can help diffuse the situation. Even make you realize how silly it was. Only if neither one of you has gotten hostile yet, otherwise you’d have to approach it more sincerely.
Your comment proves that you're not doing it on purpose, so forgive yourself and let go, for sure not everything needs to be debated and you'll gain energy and ease in your relationships, in your life, even in your health, and you'll be able to focus more on you, when you don't focus on "the truth". I am proud of you for taking note, and of the maker of this short for making the effort. Isn't the Universe wonderful? 😌
If you're not going to interact regularly with them, probably not, but if you can respond in a calm and collected manner, it is advantageous to befriend a wide variety of people and allow them to develop a good rapport with you. They may have connections or leverage or information or insights that they only share with you because you were able to meet them where they are in a way that didn't drain you in the process.
If I said "what a beautiful day, the sky is so blue" and somebody argue, I'll just leave. They clearly have problem and try to project it to me. Hell no I'm gonna take it.
The thing is, this is how I win like 90% of my arguments because I’m just super respectful towards them and most of the time they will listen to me because I’m not being an asshole if there an asshole though and I’m being respectful to them and they will be seen as a bad person.
Really? My initial reaction would be to assume that they're probably a crackpot. Some sort of flat earther who thinks a blue sky is a conspiracy. It is blue after all.
@@YumWater yeah, and having to explain that the sky technically isn't blue is dumb. Insisting that it's not just to make yourself sound smarter is an asshole move, same as saying polar bears aren't white. It's blue, and everyone knows it's blue.
This helps you in situations you literally cannot escape from, like a work meeting where your boss is an insurable ass, or a client that you need approval from. It sucks bit sometimes we all need these tools
This is one tip I actually can't agree with, I've known too many toxic know-it-alls to put up with being talked down to anymore, if someone is correcting me just to be a prick I'm not going to play along ✋🚫
Yeah, I agree with you. I like mostly all of her stuff but this one missed the boat. Good intentions though. Don't doormat yourself for someone who is determined to have an argument about something so anodyne. You don't have to pander to their ego to keep the peace.
Totally not the point I know but that’s not why the sky is blue XD Light hitting the atmosphere is split into the different colour bands (a bit like a rainbow) and the blue light is filtered down to us through the atmosphere more than the other colours, so it looks blue.
If we’re going that route, Rayleigh scattering scatters shorter wavelengths more effectively than longer wavelengths. Hence the blue colour. That leave als with the question, why doesn’t the sky look violet? Which has an even shorter wavelength? (The answer is that our eyes are simply more sensitive to blue light, so it appears blue to us)
Thanks for advocating for peacefully expressing our thoughts, feelings, and boundaries. More peace keepers like you will make the world a much more stable place!
I usually end every conversation with “sure” in a tone suspicious enough that if they’re wired they’ll feel uncomfortable and if they’re normal, they’ll feel uncomfortable.
The trick is to shut down any sense of ‘argument’. Some folks are cool with smacking down someone they are in conversation with.. but that’s how to lose ALL your friends fast..
Okay, last time I checked the sky was blue because of light scattering. If it was because of reflection, it would only be blue near the ocean Edit: also, when you started talking about retinas and what we call colors, that's a completely different discussion
you don't have to put up w ppl like that, if you're not respecting me, I won't respect you and just walk away. If you're being nice and informing me, I'll listen with interest.
true, you dont have to, but you can choose to. i personally wouldnt have the patience, but plenty of people just prefer this form of communication. some people prefer to defuse an obnoxious person rather than blow them up
It's your choice what to do but it's a pretty immature way to handle the situation. No one will care who started the argument or how you were treated, if it's your coworker, you're both problematic and create an unfriendly atmosphere. It's good to learn how to avoid confrontation so you don't look like the bad guy. It's not that important to "win" the fight anyway.
@@Vescilla i don't think it's immature, I think it's just better to not deal with a person who's disrespectful when it isn't our fault and just ignore them rather than waste your time with it but yes it's everyone's own choice.
@@g0desq From my perspective it is, I understand why you'd rather just walk away but it's in your best interest to handle such situations in a way that doesn't harm your reputation. Of course, there will be people who would take your side in this conflict because in reality you didn't do anything wrong but from some people's perspective you might come off as the rude one because you ignored someone who was merely disagreeing with you.
@@Vescilla there's difference between "mere disagreement" and criticism. A disagreement is simply saying "i don't like the blue sky" when someone says they like blue sky, but When you're trynna show how you're feeling about something (in this case, it's the beautiful blue sky) & someone is just so immature that they make that beautiful feeling a matter of criticism then they aren't worth anyone's time and no one will take it as a rude gesture to simply ignore someone so impolite and inhumane to criticize someone's likings & and their shared feelings
Fun fact, it’s not “reflection” it’s actually “refraction” - it’s why the sun looks yellow and the sky is blue - they are opposites. That’s not actually the fun fact… The fun fact is to get more pretty colors, we need more particles in the air that cause this refraction… meaning pollution is literally what is making your sunsets so pretty. So are you anti sunsets or pro sunsets?
This is why I hate people. I keep finding myself trapped with someone with this rude tone and passive-aggressive attitude, so I prefer having my lunchtime in silence calmly. I love spending my time alone ❤️
Omg just dodge those people or never talk to them. They are just trying to fight anybody because to express their inner anger they don't know how to process.
Nice advice 👏🏾 this does require some Patience and Lightheartedness that comes with maturity. So moral of the story someone has to try to be the mature one. Especially when dealing with argumentive narcissist type Encounters. Enjoy your Blue skies, be open Minded, but don't let anyone steal your Peace or Joy. Stay blessed in Jesus name everyone. We got this 😉😇
i think this can be really valuable! i know the comments are mostly “you dont need to put up with this shit,” which i agree with, but the video’s goal is just showing a different form of communication. some people want to be open and patient and non-confrontational whenever possible, and that’s okay! (sidenote: my response would’ve been “why are you purposefully instigating a disagreement with me? you know what i meant; it sounds like you just wanted to make me feel small and less intelligent because you know a random fact we all learned in middle school. you’re annoying as hell.”)
If the person disagreeing had been all "yeah, it is pretty.. hey did you know its not actually blue? It's clear and *explanation*! Isn't that crazy?", it could be a pleasant interaction all round.. but yeah as you say, people who go all confrontational over facts they have picked up almost certainly just want to feel superior rather than actually share something they are passionate about/interested in.
@@shanellemurrey9300 humans dont actually see violet very well, its picked up very weakly by the blue and red colour receptor (hence why violet looks purple). So even though the sky is more violet than blue, the blue is picked up more than your eyes and the violet is less picked up, making the sky look blue
@@Yatagurusu noice 👍 Don’t quote me on this, I learned it ages ago and I forgot, but wasn’t the sky like some kinda purple/ violety colour as well before the atmosphere got more oxygen in it? Again, I can’t remember if it was true or not, it might’ve been a different colour if anything
@@shanellemurrey9300 maybe at a specific time? But the earths atmosphere isnt actually caused by the chemistry of the molecules in the atmosphere. Its cause by the fact blue light is scattered way more than red light when light travels through a transparent fluid. More or less oxygen shouldnt change that. Feel free to contradict me.
@@Yatagurusu oh yeah sorry I forgot to mention I was talking about like, billions of years ago. And I was probably still wrong about it lol, I can’t remember it fully
Literally had this happen about the colors of stars, retinas and everything. It did not end as friendly. Looking back I wish I had asked why it was so important to him.
I love to share random scientific facts with people as it helps me to remember them and I just like to share things I learned. I am also the type of autistic person that doesn't understand tone or use the right one so the fact that people would assume I'm being argumentative or trying to belittle them is not the greatest thing.
Thank you! The world needs these skills -it’s called learning to communicate-we need to get out of psychological labeling and calling everyone “toxic” and learn to do EXACTLY what you are doing here. PLEASE MAKE MORE VIDROS LIKE THIS!!! We are desperate for the need to connect and stop all the hate’
The sky isn't blue because "the atmosphere reflects earths surface". Its blue because of the scattering effect. Blue light scatters more thus making the sky look more blue. On the other hand during sunset when the sun is far and the light has to travel more, the scattered blue light gets absorbed and what remain are only the red, orange and yellow light. ETA : Who says the the sky being blue is a fact when literally it is red everytime after it is blue.
At sunset the light does travel further through the atmosphere, but it's not so much that the sun is further away. The significant thing is the distance of light travelling through the atmosphere is much longer, because of the angle of incidence. And what we perceive is somewhat a result of which wavelengths our cones are sensitive to, and the uneven distribution of wavelengths that the sun emits.
lmao my ex friends were like the problematic character here, so glad i got out of there, such a toxic environment. btw great way to explain it, i learned it and now I'm never in a defensive position, a game changer definitely!
Yes, I agree. I think she mixed it up with why clear water in lakes or the ocean appears blue - because it reflects the sky. The sky looks blue because this color is strongest after all the light scattering in the atmosphere. If I got in an argument about this I would just suggest to google it together instead of argueing.
I've said things like the science person before but I was not angry but now looking at this video I can see why some people reacted negatively to me saying those things. 😅 I guess it really comes off as being a know it all. Though I just was trying to share an interesting fact. Now I feel bad though.
@@gameypiettvgamergames7463 I guess it depends on their goal of the conversation. In this case saying the sky is blue is just an attempt at making light casual conversation. And the sky is blue is a pretty universally accepted experience even if it isn’t “scientifically accurate” But then science person comes at them with all this heavy complicated science that the average person just doesn’t think about and whether intentionally or unintentionally they make them feel kind of stupid for not knowing that even though most people don’t even think about that. I can definitely see how it would come off as really rude.
If you "scientifically" correct me for calling the sky blue, I will walk away from you mid conversation and not talk to you again. That's extremely obnoxious, not a person I want to talk to.
