every animal or insects dont have money they still have baby and raise them the parents who leave their child like that is are shittiest dont show sympathy to them that type of people care more about them selves then anyone if she loved her so much she would die to be with her not leave her
@@copiumclipirl9299 Had they keep her, they would all die, she wouldn't be here right now making this video. Stop talking about problem you don't know.
Hi Kati, I am a chinese mother lived in California for 40 years....your story touched me, I would be happy to coach your chinese, my daughter's name is also Katie, my chinese name is 靜枝, pronounces the same with slight different writing. I feel I know both culture and because I am a mother...my daughter is 24, I might be able to help to mend that culture and language bridge. Feel free to reach out to me, regardless, best intend and good luck.
I loved the story about you on BBC. It made me sentimental, thinking about my grandma in China. And I totally feel the language barrier, not being able to communicate on a deep level (even with a translator). Even though I was not adopted, I still have issues with the communication with my parents because I was born in Norway and lived some years in Paris, so I have only a basic Chinese (equivalent to that of a 12-year old). And thus it's really hard to talk about important stuff, thoughts, feelings etc. And It's a struggle about culture too, because I feel more "Norwegian" than Chinese, even though I have been raised by my Chinese parents my whole life. The fact that I have no Chinese friends might be one of many factors to this. Because of these differences I have had many tough periods, because it's impossible to talk about what's weighing on your heart when your chinese is basic, and my parents' Norwegian is likewise as basic. Resulting in me having to take exams anew, to get better grades, so that I could apply for a good university. Because I failed some subjects at senior year. I really don't know why I'm writing this. But it might be a mix of procrastination whilst reading for exams, together with the insanity that comes forth with the fact that everything is closed because of the times we are in. Anyways, for language learning. I have started to find good results by speaking more Chinese, even if it's bad/childish, and expose myself to more Chinese. For instance listening to Chinese music, or watching some Chinese videos. Good luck with your Chinese language learning!
I think many Chinese whose families have immigrated to other countries have experienced the same problems. My parents came to the United States from China back in the 1950s. When I was born, my mother spoke mostly Chinese with me, and I guess I was fairly fluent in my early childhood. But when I started going to school, I gradually started losing my Chinese, even though my Grandmother immigrated over when I was six and lived with us for several years. I also didn't have any regular Chinese friends growing up, so by the time I reached adulthood, my ability to speak Chinese was very minimal. Looking back, it was very unfortunate because when you're a child, you don't have the same sorts of questions that you want to ask as an adult. And because my family came from a part of China that spoke a particular dialect of Cantonese (Toisanese), it wasn't really possible to find classes that would help me learn later in life.
Kati, your story really touched me when my wife was pregnant. At that moment, we weren't ready to have a baby, she even cried sadly because of her pregnancy. But your story touched me, my perspective changed radically and now I never left my son for more than a day. Your story makes me realized that children is the most precious thing in life.
The bridge your biological father noted in the paper is a very famous historical and cultural tourist destination---鹊桥("Magpie Bridge" or "Bridge of Milkway" in denotation), where loved ones meet each other after long-long-time separation.
Oh, neat. Didn't know that the Broken Bridge was also called the Magpie Bridge. I thought "Magpie Bridge" was only used to describe the bridge made by the magpies in the Cow Herder Weaver Girl story. Also didn't know that the Broken Bridge is a place where all kinds of loved ones reunite. I learned about the bridge from the White Snake folktale, so I thought it was only for romantic lovers. When I saw the biological father's letter about wanting to meet his daughter again on that bridge I was like "wut".
I just stumbled across the BBC video, and man, it hit me right in the feels. I can imagine trying to figure out your identity has been a pretty difficult process, and having such a huge spotlight on your story must lead to a lot of added pressure. I'm half Asian, half white, born and raised in the US. I never really thought about identity much until I hit college, and I still struggle with it in my mid-twenties now. I feel disconnected from my Asian side, and guilty for not connecting more. Trying to figure out your identity is just a lot on top of trying to figure out everything else in life Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Every adoption and reunion story is unforgettable in its own way . Your story stuck with me the most through the years - probably because of the heart wrenching, tear jerking effect it had on me . Fast forward a few years - I am happy to see you doing well and so mature in your thought process and management of relationships. Your parents raised you well.
About practicing your Chinese, speaking will help you improve a lot, so you should try to speak more with your family as they can help you correct your sentences. I know that Chineses characters are hard to remember, so the only way that could help you to remember is to write those characters repeatedly and try to use it when speaking. I did both tips when I was studying Chinese in Chengdu, China.
Your biological parents are very lovely and sweet people. Please make an effort with the language, so you can feel comfortable with your biological family. We can see and almost feel how much they love you.
I see so much love in your biological dad for you in the “Meet me on the bridge” video. It melted my heart.. I hope you & your biological parents have found a way to communicate, so they can get they hearts filled. It was so heartbreaking to watch as you walked away from them in airport. The sadness in their faces was to much to handle. They had you for a minute and then watched to leave again. That’s got to be devastating. Your adoptive parents are loving people and gave you a life millions would have prayed for. You are a truly blessed young lady to have so many people who love you. Don’t get offended by all this culture stuff. As you get older you realize what a waste of time it is. Love who YOU are inside.....live life and love the people God put/puts in your life. Just love on & help everyone you come across. That’s what life is about. Enjoy it because it’s shorter than you think.
Hi, Kati! Your life journey is an eye-opener. You are being genuine in all you say. And, this one's my fave takeaway from you - acceptance, patience, and grace for "self" is profound which some people haven't achieved yet, which I believe, the Lord is cultivating in you for His purpose. Love! 💕
Thank you for sharing such a touching story of yours, Kati. Thank you to your amazing adopting parents for raising you up to be such a respectful lovely young lady with a kind soul. Your willingness to meet up with your biological parents and spending time with them (and your biological sister) shows that you are someone with a very big heart❤️. Given the one-child policy and the circumstances that your parents were in at the time that you born, so they did what they did. In the letter they wrote to whoever found you (and adopted you), they penned themselves as "heartless parents". Fully understood why they felt that way and at the same why they did what they did. It's a damn if I do damn if I don't situation - a tough dilemma! In any event, your story turns out to be a remarkable one that you are so well-loved by both sets of parents and the many significant people in your life. Bless your ❤️. AC
Could you please continue with making you tube videos? I really like your persona and I have this feeling that you coulf be really good in being a RU-vidr for example just sharing your story and showing how you live in two worlds, two family’s and maybe even the difficulties you have by doing that. I think as an adopted child this could really set a statement for others and it’s nice to watch ❤️
Watched your story on BBC. Heartwarming. As a Chinese who has been living in Europe for many many years, I really appreciate the difference between cultures. Hope you keep growing happily as a person.
Hello katie! I'm not sure you will see this comment, but I stumbled upon your BBC story and it was so beautiful. I'm so happy for you that you got to experience that and grow your family! I was also born and adopted from China. However, I wasn't left with any note. My biological parents were always a question in the back of my mind, but it wasn't too important. Seeing your video really makes me reconsider. Thank you for sharing your beautiful experience! I hope you and your family are all doing well!
Extraordinary story ! Your chinese mother is so full of love for you, when she met you. God bless you all ! God is love with everybody. Thank you my God. ❤️
You cried because BBC documentary producer did a good job in editing the video. All the clips and words ...are well arranged that made it a moving video
Very touched by your story. your adoptive parents raised you well, and the love your biological parents is so wholesome. I know the language barrier is difficult, but take it slowly. Don't give yourself too much pressure.
Your story is so touching. Just saw them and it make me cry literally. Im a mid 40 guy and this really make me feel emotional. I really wish you the best, you and your biological parents. Please do not feel upset for how thing happens. Your parents will always be your parents through thick and thin. Your American parents are the the greatest people on earth for taking you in and give you chances in America. Never regret anything but to share loves to both. Good bless you.
Came here after watching your BBC documentary. I don’t have any personal experiences with adoption but it made me very emotional because I can tell both your adopted and biological parents care for you very much. I’m glad you are able to be connected with both sides now. Good luck on your life and I hope you get better at Chinese so you can communicate with your biological parents on a deeper level!
Hi Kati, thanks for sharing. I am not an adoptee, but I am also an overseas Chinese. I started learning Chinese at 29 and now understand a lot, but there are always struggles here and there, so I can relate to that. I am about seven years older than you. Best regards to you and your both adoptive and biological families. 🧡
I'm in awe of how you are caring for yourself and accepting yourself as you are in the moment. Not sure I could have done that at your age. Keep on being you. All the best.
I loved your story. I was adopted myself from birth but as of yet. i’ve never met my biological parents. I don’t really have a desire to either because my adoptive parents are the two most wonderful people in the world. I wish you all the luck in the world.
Same situation here, Never interested in meeting my biological parents since my real parents who raised me are perfect. But due to the actions of others I ended up meeting my birth mother and honestly I wish I hadn't. I'm extremely grateful that I was not raised by her.
I’m a Swedish woman with an adopted daughter from Vietnam. We got her from a hospital, she was severely malnourished and depressed. When we were back in the hotel, she was on her stomach and I treated a skin rash on her back. She turned her face towards me and we bonded. I fed her Formula every 2 hrs, she gained one kg the first ten days, 3kg to 4kg. After that we have a very tight bond, though she’s very independent. But she’s still not interested in her biological background, or Asian culture. I cannot force her, she has a very strong willpower. ❤️
@@Cha4kI have an adopted daughter from Vietnam, she’s not interested in seeing her biological parents. I thought also that maybe an reunion would be a disappointment. They may be dysfunctional, or have some abuse. Meeting them is not always roses, as in this documentary. ❤️
Your story literally brought me to tears. As for learning Chinese, I highly recommend that you integrate Chinese media (e.g., Chinese songs, movies, dramas, and shows) into your learning. You should also familiarize yourself with the fundamentals (common daily phrases, expressions and pinyin) as much as you can. Also, don't neglect the reading, writing, and speaking aspects of Chinese as it will help you understand the language and culture better as a whole. If you put in an hour every day to practice reading and writing, I promise that you will see amazing results in no time.
Great idea! I recommend newspapers such as Liberty Times (自由时报) and Taipei Times (台北时报). And here's a quality TV channel that can help with learning Mandarin: ru-vid.com As for music this one's a classic from Hong Kong: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-HyChySXLyPk.html It's a political song about racism and the fight for freedom. They wrote it because at the time South African freedom fighters were locked up and tortured for having the wrong ethnicity. Today, who is speaking up for the people of Xinjiang and Hong Kong?
This. My Chinese was a lot better than all of the other students in Chinese class because I grew up watching Chinese dramas. I listened to the actors speaking while looking at the subtitles at the bottom of the screen and therefore learned how each character was pronounced.
You are a truly amazing young lady. You took full advantage of the wonderful opportunities your parents gave you and they should be proud. Your parents should be poster children for raising such an articulate thoughtful and caring person. And of course the fact you took advantage of those opportunities speaks volumes to your own personality. The fact that you have the discipline to learn the violin and try to learn Chinese shows you are willing to work hard and expand your world view. After having spent 3 decades in a university classroom (yeah and some of those years were in northern China), I am relieved that there are young people like you out there who will carry the torch and run this country/world. Keep up the good work as you have a great deal to contribute. Go girl.
Hi Kati, Thanks for sharing your thoughts. As a now OLD SENIOR Asian American, I can tell you that you will always be in the "IDENTITY MIDDLE ZONE". You are NOT considered White American and not accepted as Chinese by overseas Chinese. Learning to speak and write Chinese is certainly a great step in bridging the culture and identity gap. Seeking out "like minded" supportive souls will make your life's purpose and journey more enriching. Don't forget, I read that there were about 100,000 adoptions in the US and Canada from China, Korea, etc during that time. So your adoption story is shared with so many others ! Follow your heart !
I came across your story after watching another story about a pair of Chinese twins adopted separately. (I have a pair of twins.) Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts. Kudos to your adopted parents who have raised you well. I cannot possibly imagine the fear they might have felt when they had to decide what to say to you about your birth parents for the first time, knowing that there would be no turning back. (Not to mention the pressure that the story had already gone public!) You are a courageous young lady dealing with all this with the world watching, and I wish you well on your journey.
Kati, please do another video. You are amazing and you don't even realise how asian you are in your composure, your way of articulating things. Those genes are strong. I wish you all the best in life. I am touched by your story.
Thank you for doing this. I have a young daughter but have always considered adopting in the future. I cried so hard when your birth mom was crying on the bridge. I am asian (Chinese American) myself but not adopted, and I struggle with my mom smothering me as a way of showing her love. It doesn’t always make much sense, does it? 😏 I can relate a lot to wanting to be the “perfect daughter” for my Chinese in-laws, but not quite knowing what that even means. You express yourself very well. 😊 I wish the best of luck to you and lots of happiness. 💕
You should read the Chinese American writer Amy Tan. She writes lovingly about her Chinese mother, who was so concerned about the daughters ability to care for herself in a scary world. Her first book is “Joy Luck Club”, a loving portrait of the mother, who had a hard and adventurous life. ❤️
I've just re-watched your story again Kati. You are truly blessed to have two beautiful, strong and loving families. May you continue having more blessed memories with your combined family and I wish you the utmost best!
Me and my husband are thinking of adopting a daughter. I gave birth to a son recently and went through a risky labour so we are not planning to have anymore children of our own instead adopting as we both want to have daughters so badly. It’s scary the thought of the baby leaving us one day to her biological parents so I feel your adoptive parents so much. I do not blame your biological parents but still Katie do not ever forget your adoptive parents. They have done a greatest job. They have opened their heart for someone else daughter and taking care of you so well with the fear of you leaving them one day. You are here because they choose to be your parents. Do not ever forget them.
I honestly sobbed watching the documentary about you and your parents. I felt so much empathy for your biological mother. I couldn’t imagine what they went through and I couldn’t imagine being in that situation with my second child. Abandonment as a baby is traumatic as well and we can bring that trauma throughout our lives. Gabor mate speaks about this very well. Glad you’re doing well!
I'd say focus on speaking mandarin before you try learning the chinese characters. The grammar is easy, so if you just focus on the speaking part you'll notice how fast the learning process will be! Much love
Wonderful. Don.t worry about perfection.... Learning a language takes a life time. It really does. I started to enjoy the process when I stopped being hard on myself. Just have an interest in learning, and be able to laugh when you make a mistake or be able to ask how to say it when speaking another language to your family. Imagine them learning English? or your students learning English? didn't they laugh at themselves and have fun. Just be you and not someone else, and enjoy that you have additional experiences and parents.. Look for the good in all things.
Thank you Kati for this informative Q&A. I'm 80 and I know I will never reach your level of intelligence and commonsense. You have made both your Chinese and American parents proud of you. I have no doubt that you are quite capable of learning Mandarin.....it would be easier and much faster if you could find a Chinese speaking family to live with for awhile. I believe both countries are blessed that you exist....
Hey katie, i'm a Singaporean girl living in Singapore, i speak fluent mandarin and english. I cried buckets when i saw your documentary. I would love to speak to you and probably give you some tips to speaking and understanding the mandarin language better. Let me know if you would like to connect with me!😘 Amanda
I think once a person has a child you realize how much it hurts to lose your child. I never knew love could be so strong once i gave birth to my children. It is on such another level. I can totally understand why your biological mother lost it and begged for forgiveness when she saw you. I could not handle it if I would not be allowed to keep my baby. And the love is insanely strong when it's so attached to you as well in that early newborn stage. Damn.... ❤️😭 Respect to you Kati for giving them a chance to meet you, to try and get to know them. It's sad you didn't get to know earlier on enough about them or Chinese culture.
I am English/Irish, of British parents, with a father who moved countries doing civil engineering. My mother was British Australian. I was born in Ghana and brought up in S-E Asia (Thailand 3yrs, Malaysia 13yrs). I went to expatriate schools in both those countries until I was 16; many local children, especially in Malaysia, attended these schools also. Kati does not seem in the least Asian to me except in looks. Her outlook is American, formed by America - in Thailand end 1967-mid 1970 Bangkok was full of Americans and I went to an American school - it was during the Vietnam war. The Americans were and are a great people. In Malaysia, under the British, the native Malays had to cope with a great influx of Chinese and Indian labour and migration. I think Kati would struggle to be Asian except, again, in looks. She has had a different life, language, education, family, society.
BBC brought me here was crying terribly watching the video, I was so touched about how the parents felt sorry for everything & how they tried everything to please Kati!
good to see you are doing well Kati. My only piece of advice is not to think about the identify too deeply but more focusing on what you want to do and where you want to live in the future. I live in Canada for more than a decade and never had concerns on my identify and I chose to spend time with whoever I am comfortable with. All the best from Jo
I live in a little town near Nanjing. As i know, there are some foreign teachers in local kindergartens who travel here, just like you. BUt the jobs are not so good, so most of them only stay here for few months. I understand it's very hard to learn another languages and different culture, but you're young enough to tackle these barriers. That's really great to have such amazing life experience. Keep safe during qarantine. Best wish to your family.
Came here after seeing a clip by a Chinese RU-vidr. Gotta say she is raised well as an elegant lady and educator. Her adopted parents seem to be very kind and loving ones. I do not know what the reason of abandonment by her biological parents was, but wouldn’t be so harsh on them if one knows about China One Child Policy. For her bio parents, it would mean all kinds of punishment aside from financial which would have already bankrupted them, another choice was abortion, which they chose not to so she has a chance to live as fate brought her. It was the CCP hooligan policy that caused this and Kati’s is not the only victim. Hope Kati could continue to do well and loved, to love those who cherishes her
Kati, I just found your story !!! glad you got to meet your biological parents. I'm adopted as well, I found my biological mother, and it didn't go so well. My story is nothing like yours, it comes from abuse. So glad to see other adopted kids, seeking out their biological parents and turning out well, for them!!!
Kati’s story got more popular when The BBC picked it up and then reunited her with her biological parents. She is very lucky because both her adoptive and birth parents were loving and caring and worried for her
Well done Katie . So cute as a little girl. Grown into a lovely beautiful lady .. Thank you for sharing may you grow as a woman prosper and inspire others. Please continue you make videos. ❤😊 2:14
Wish you the best. Learning Chinese seems so difficult but would definitely be worth it. I’m mixed - each respective side sees me not as their own- but as the other. 😐
The home for Asian-Americans is indeed here in the U.S. of America, a blessed nation of many nations and many cultures, including Asian-American culture. You should include your student, Morgan, in your virtual Part 2, so that folks would see that Asian-American culture is very real.
Even I, who grew up with my Chinese parents here in the US, felt more culturally white than Chinese. Yes, we did celebrate some Chinese holidays like Chinese New Year, and I did attend a Chinese school on Saturday mornings, but all of my friends were white, the schools that I attended were mostly white, and when I was growing up, it was more important to "fit in." It wasn't until I went to college that I became more aware or attentive to my Asian background. I did take a Mandarin class while I was in college, but it was hard because my parents were from the Toishan area of China in the south, so the dialect was very different. Interestingly, I now feel more culturally Japanese than Chinese because my wife is a Japanese American (3rd generation), and we are very active in our Buddhist temple, which is part of a Japanese school of Buddhism. I even speak more Japanese now than Chinese.
the beauty now is that you are now able to articulate these things (questions you attempted to answer). It's healthy - when you are able to talk about, able to articulate it; share your experience, feelings - about your life.
I think it’s really important for international adoptions to try and encourage learning the child’s mother tongue and culture. Yes, they are now your child but it’s important for when the child is old enough to decide what they want to do about their identity and birth parents later on in life. It’s sad that you really realised you were “different” when you left your community and didn’t notice the micro aggressions you experienced as a child because you didn’t see yourself as different. But I’m glad that you are trying and have learnt that sadly the world doesn’t care who raises you but what you look like. In regards to learning mandarin, I’d recommend you make Chinese friends because it’s easier to learn a language if you’re around the language. You’ll be able to pick up small words or phrases and they can help with pronunciation
ByllionUwaila, It doesn't sound like you've raised a child, at least not yet. The final choice is not the parents. What's important is to treat the child as the unique person they are, not a genetic phrase book or ethnic clone. The phrase "you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink," is appropriate. The parents shouldn't prevent it, the child will make the call in the end no matter what. In the end, everyone is different and the only thing the adopted parents need to do is love the child and not hide the truth of their birth. Language and culture will be learned by the person on their own accord and when it suits them. As Kati has done. The adopted parents have enough to deal with raising a wonderful child. I realize that Kati called it microaggressions, but to me that trivializes who someone is, particularly if one is adopted. I know it's the popular word, but to me, she better summarized the situation by how she described needing to adapt, be patience, and self accepting. People are not all wise and knowing, they work with their bits of knowledge and visual queues are the easiest about which to make poor assumptions. Most American's regardless of race or ethnicity don't have enough experience to tell the difference between Asian ethnicities. it's not intentional and is a mistake but more importantly, not likely to be aggression, micro or otherwise. If they went out of their way to take her last name and ask her what it like to be German it would be a mistake; but call her an Asian Nazi... that'd be very aggressive micro and macro. Acceptance, adapting and patience is way more productive than taking most mistakes as acts of aggression. As for learning Mandarin, like any language, I'd suggest speaking to anyone that can speak Mandarin with you. Watch Chinese News shows or soaps if you can get them on the internet or cable, it's pretty fun! Learning from someone that doesn't speak it as a first language can really help you pick up important bits because of their experience. Going to a native speaker will help you polish your skill and improve your dialect. @Kati Pohler I loved your story and thank so much for sharing.
Thank you for sharing your story. My wife was the 2nd daughter to a family in central China in the late 80's. Her story is very different than yours, her family had the ability to bribe the local authorities so she was not aborted, but she still had a difficult life and was shunned by many in their community. Her dad, a great guy, made it his life goal to get both his daughters out of China. He still lives in China, but both his daughters live wonderful lives overseas (in the US and Canada).
Hi Katie, I just found this video here of you doing your own video. I also just recently was binge watching a bunch of similar stories on youtube and found your story, and watched the original video, i think, of when you met your natural parents for the first time, and stayed with them in china. ( meet me on the bridge ) i think it was called. I was touched. Im not adopted, and i am not asian. ( 1/2 irish / 1/2 italian ) But i have my story, as we all do. : / lol.. While watching this video, i felt like i sort of knew you, and wanted to talk with you and say some things that i think will help you in some ways. "help", i mean, by giving you some things to think about, maybe in a way you havent yet already. So i am going to do that now.. First of all you are a beautiful woman. I can see you are very intellectual, sensitive and thoughtful ( in other words DEEP ) : ) so am i... So i can see those things in others. Anyway, i wanted to say, that You just like the rest of us, are a unique individual, no matter who you are born of, or of what ethnicity. I have always felt im not IRISH, and im not ITALIAN.. My mother is irish american, born here from parents that were also born here in america but whose parents came from ireland. and the same story on my fathers side. So i am just ME born in america and thats it.. I dont represent all the irish people, and i dont represent all the italian people, and to be " american" to me, means, being uniquely myself. America is the land of EVERYONE! ( and it really is ) I can understand some of your circumstances, being born of natural parents, and then being adopted and raised by other people, in another country. And while growing up at first feeling just part of the family that you were living with and familiar with. But all the while as you grew, realizing you werent exactly the same as everyone else in the family. ( you were, but at the same time you werent ) so i am aware that is a difficult and isolating type feeling to have. ( this is where you became so " independent' ) But the point of meeting your natural parents and going to stay with for awhile was a very important thing you needed to do, because it makes you see " who you are" in a sense. where you came from and who your real natural parents are, and other relatives. Im sure that has to be very confusing in several ways. But again, i dont think it should be so confusing. Your parents are your parents. And those are your natural biological parents. Weather you knew them or not. Those people are your parents. China is not right. the government is responsible for making your parents do what they did. They faced alot of scary possibilities that were more certain than not, if they didnt try to get you adopted. I hope you do realize they have suffered just as much as you may have emotionally and mentally all of these years without you in their lives. You are their child! Infact im certain they have suffered much more than you could have, because they are your parents, and they had to send their child away. Yes, maybe they could have tried to leave china with your sister and other relatives or friends? tired to get on a freight boat? but that would have been their only option if they tried that, because the only other way out of china unlawfully, would be to pay people to take them out. And im sure they didnt want to be put in that situation because they would have been dealing with bad people who do that. And the payment would have been a life long payment for your parents to these people. So the only hope they had was that God would send special people to take you and care for you and raise you, and make sure you grew up safely and comfortably and give you a good life. ( im sure you know all of this ) I just wanted to say these things to you though, because as i watched this video, these are the things that came to me. And while listening to your answers to those questions you received, i just felt like you might need to hear my thoughts about your story. IF you wanted to? you could work on getting your natural parents here to america to be with you. The culture difference is because of 2 parts. oppressive control over the people in china ( that is the culture ) as you must know now, and capitalistic freedom here in america. They are both bad! But its government control on both sides, that determines the "cultures" of each country. America was created to be a place where people could be free of government control, but it became controlled by capitalism and corruption, and its getting worse. What im saying about this, is that you are you, like i am me, like we all are who we are, and you were raised here, and this is the life you know, BUT your parents are your parents. Your adoptive parents seem like very special and loving people., BUT THEY ARE NOT YOUR PARENTS. And once you accept that, because its the truth. Everything else becomes clearer. You must have seen some of all the other videos on here of adopted twins being separated at birth, and adopted and raised in different parts of the world but still finding each other at some point. And the many other stories of other people that were adopted, ( there are alot of people adopted from all over the world, but because of the chinese governments inhumane policies, alot of children are adopted from china ) But my point is YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THE EXPERIENCE YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH, OR THE FEELINGS/CONFUSIONS YOU HAVE BECAUSE OF IT.. Do you know of any other people personally that were adopted also? Finding some of those people and possibly connecting with them would be of great help to you im sure. You were raised and educated here in america, and you are who you are! But! the best think about america, no matter how bad it gets, is that you still are free to pursue your dreams and make some good happen! ( if you felt passionately about those things? ) So you should focus on that.. I believe you should try to get your natural parents and sister here to america so you can all be together. They are your family, regardless of what happened, and since your natural parents didnt have a choice when you were born, i cant see any fault of theirs. They saved your life and unfortunately because of where they were from, they saved their own too. : / I think they suffered enough too, and i know if they were in your life everyday, all of you would heal together and get that natural connection and bonding that you should have had from the beginning. And you will also always have your " extended family" the great people who cared for you and raised you. And from that point im sure you will be FINE! all the missing pieces inside will all come together, and then you can spread your wings so to speak and DO YOU! here in america! ( maybe you will become an adoption attorney and specialize in helping to change the international policies that affect all the parents and children that are forced to have to be put through those horrible conditions being forced to separate. There are some children that their parents were killed or just disappeared or maybe were raped and they will never know who their natural parents were. That has to be really bad for them! But there are sooo many people with the same situations and circumstances, we are all just scattered around the world. its kind of amazing! Anyway, i hope i havent upset you in anyway? I really was trying to give you my own positive perspectives and try to be of help to you in some way. I also have my own story, and didnt have such a great or stable childhood, and it affected me deeply, and i grew up wanting to help other people, and try to make the world better any way i could. And thats what i do.. If you would like to talk? we can do that.. but if i dont hear back from you? i want you to know everything will work out as long as you follow your heart and BE YOU! through all situations and circumstances! And again, i think the key for you and every other person in your situation, is, if they can? to unite with their natural parents and siblings, and get started on being together, and reconnecting and bonding, because that is natural and its right.. and because its natural and right? it will heal alot of damages or things that are not exactly feeling so right inside of you. AND THAT IS WHAT ITS ALL ABOUT.. Being yourself, having clairty and fighting the good fight! And making a difference when you can.. In your own ways. Oh, i also wanted to say, like you, i also found music, ( being an only and lonely child , i connected with music, and play several instruments, and am a musician and teach music here and there too ) I saw you play classical violin. Are you serious about music also? I hope to hear from you..
Hey, just wanted to say I admire you for your bravery in sharing your story to the rest of the world! The BBC documentary was very inspiring and touching, and I'm so glad you are able to connect with your biological parents to this day! Looking forward to the next video! Cheers! P.S., as a Canadian born Chinese, Chinese is definitely a difficult language, I hope to one day invest time in learning it too!
Take it one at a time Kati, Chinese isn't that difficult once u figure it out, communicate more with chinese people. I studied architecture at my grandparents' hometown, it was a great experience to see the place where my grandparents grew up, I learned chinese by communicating with locals and college mates, at first I was using hand languages because most of them don't understand English, but as time went by I become more fluent in Chinese
I think making chinese speaking friends, like international students, is a big step for learning the language, and also just a great thing in general. For me, it was through the college/young adult ministry at church. They all took the toefl test and got great scores on it so their english is very good, easily enough to communicate with me, but they also like to speak chinese around you, around each other, and you'll pick things up. Learn what things mean. And if you're good friends you won't feel embarrassed to ask questions. And I think, the more you meet people from china the more you just realize they're not different from people in america. Some are outgoing in public, others only open up around close friends. Some like to shoot hoops, some like to play video games, some like movies, some are really interested in engineering and advanced mathematics, others like to draw or play music. People are people. They like eating out, spending time with family, going on dates with significant others. Some are shy, some are rude, some are kind, many are kind. But I think any cultural differences that you may initially perceive, like drinking hot water instead of cold, or preferring tea to coffee, quickly become insignificant when you realize how much more humanity you have in common, and so I don't tend to believe, so long as basic communication is possible, that language is a barrier to genuine friendship. And that's something that's just as nice to have as language skills.
Gurl I feel ur pressure and what u meant by “being the perfect daughter” around ur bioparents and meeting the expectations of others. But at the end of the day, i hope u could do whatever you want with ur life and not letting those expectations affect u in any neg ways I guess. Bc they weren’t meant well. I dunno... But I just watched that vid and it made me cry so much mainly bc i though it was another sad story but it turned out to be a very beautiful and happy one!
Learning a language is life long. Just enjoy it, and not put any pressure oneself to say or write things perfectly. Learn in a fun way for yourself and not take any comments from others too seriously.--at all. Being an international student abroad for a year or two is a good and fun way to learn another language and culture. Not just language, it.s important to develop other areas of one.s life and career.
@4Freedom4All 1. the truth was too hurtful....being abandoned by heartless 'parents'. 2. She was always free to learn Mandarin. 3. These are not real parents. Parents do not abandon children.
What made living in China difficult? Do you feel any resentment towards your adopted mother for keeping the truth from you for so long? Would you encourage transracial adopters to expose their adopted child to their native culture and/or teach them their native language? Your story is very heartwarming. How is your relationship with your sister now? Perhaps that could motivate you to learn the language faster.
Some good questions, I don't have room to answer them all here...but long story short. I don't have a lot of resentment towards my adopted parents. I don't really agree with their choices, but I can't imagine what they were going through either. And yes, I think encouraging exposer is good...make it a choice, but 100% make an option. And for sure being able to talk with my sister is great motivation!
Dear Kati, I love watching your Biological Dad. I can't imagine his pain that day - and that pain he must have struggled with his entire life until you appeared as a 20 year old woman - God Bless you all from Australia
I'm also of Chinese heritage, also an ABC. I speak Mandarin Chinese fluently because I have a good relationship to the Chinese culture and my family. I studied Chinese for so long, about 9 years. I know that learning Chinese is difficult. You can try to watch videos of learning Chinese too. If you have some time, you can try booking an online Chinese class, so you can pick up Chinese fast.
Thank you for sharing your story. I admire you for giving your biological parents the opportunity to get to know you. The language barrier is definately a wall you need to get over. Hopefully your language studies will pick up a bit so you can feel more comfortable with eachother and mutual understanding and connection. You mention travel in Europe, where have you visited so far and what was your favorite experience there? I'm from Belgium myself.
@@katipohler7664 I'm from Ghent myself - most people visit Brussels/Bruges when they visit here. If you're into art there's alot of great museums/history in Belgium, and some nice architecture aswell. Nothing too flashy though we're kinda reserved here :). I'm more into nature than culture so when I travel I enjoy hiking in forests more than visiting cities. Added bonus is that most people here speak English (same as in the Netherlands) there are some European countries (like France) where only the younger generations speaks english, really. Alot of UK residents visit our tourist towns/cities so we're used to it moreso than alot of other countries. Looking forward to seeing more of your videos and learning about your life.
wow, wowow!!! First, I am a chinese and i knew your story early this year on youtube in a documentary. Your story is really really heart moving and your adoptive parents are so generous and noble. I am from the same province as you, Jiangsu Province. Suzhou where you were born is a really beatiful city and comfortable to live in. I think both your adoptive parents and biological parents love you so much. I believe your biological parents really love you and they were forced to leave you by Chinese law. I knew many families in China like your biological parents. I just want to express my being touched by your adoption story and your adoptive parents. They are great people in the world.
