QTV - Tinsel & Custard, Don't You Start 

I can't believe I was getting coffee and coffin mixed up all this time. Now I know why no one comes to my coffee mornings and why my mother's funeral was such a terrible debacle.

I feel like every grandmother has something like this on VHS tucked away in a crumbled plastic bag in the corner of her sewing room, this certaintly sparked some weird nostalgia in me.

I feel like we’re finally getting a glimpse of the potential of television as a medium for news and entertainment.

It just feels so comfortable watching this. Best accompanied by a bovril facial.

This is brilliant, I was going to read my kids a bedtime story after tea, to settle them down for the night, but now I'm going to show them this...it's far more appropriate, what with this day and age...thanks 👍

Ah used to have the entire series of this taped off the telly on Betamax! Those machines were actually superior to VHS because you had the option to switch between 'play' and 'broadcast' - i.e. send your recordings up your TV aerial, and back to the TV station! Must have had some kind of time altering aspect too because I remember during the '82 world cup my aunt accidentally 'undid' a goal during a live match trying to rewind it to watch it back! If I recall the team ended up drawing 1-1 instead of winning. Got to love the old technology! Happy days.

The genius of what you do is starting to gather speed. Proust's madeleine is starting to pale in significance. You're making me remember things that never even happened to me simply by creating the exact horror of popular culture growing up in the early 70's. Brilliant. Terrifying.

As an avid fan of bubblegum pop music I must say that Tinsel and Custard theme was top notch.

Utter genius! It's like all those weird schools programmes from the 70's and 80's got together and said "right we'll bloody well show them!"

The whole class once feigned an outbreak of Whooping cough to get the term off to watch a whole series of 'Don't You Start.' We're all thick as bricks and in poorly paid jobs but still agree it was worth it.

More tinsel and custard please 😂❤

I would love a full 24 hours of QTV. I would sleep well afterwards.

Seriously though, I well remember Don't You Start - never missed an episode and I still have that 1974 Annual. Always fancied Bronwyn, fine performer and lovely lady despite her abrupt ways and confusing teeth. "Sardonic Sid" the robot was well ahead of his time, with his gentle pokes at humanity and those crazy stunts. Dave was the long-haired firebrand, rather artistic and a bit confronting but with a heart of warm suet. But Geoff of course was everyone's favourite - wise, affable, shy and self-effacing but at the same time, dead sexy. Just such a pity he ended up in Broadmoor.

This Channel gets better and better and better and better and better and...

a combination of a lost childhood memory and the horror of a fever nightmare.

Keep coming back to these old vids Mr Smirhes , this one is right up there with pure genius , one of the best. I was whistling the Tinsel & Custard theme this morning so had to check out the real thing again. Pure Joy. And when me and mum go for a coffee a lot of times i have gave her the Gentle Geoff coffee grin which always makes her laugh. : )

At last. Singing Ringing Tree meets Trade Test Transmission meets Chock-A-Block. Utter utter genius.

Very good - See me after!

It wasn't the cough that carried him off It was the coffin they carried him off in ...

Quentin’s genius is intensifying

more of tinsel and custard please!!

You have captured the weird vibe of the 70s and 80s perfectly with these. You also remind me of a teacher I had at primary school . Mr how He did wear trousers though 🤣 Even late 80s he was rocking the 70s orange and brown vibes

Glad I found a normal channel

Quentin always serves up slayyy gusset.

I wish QTV was on 24/7. I'd have it playing in the background when company is over. When people came over, they'd say "What's that on the TV?" And I'd say "That's QTV!" And they'd say "Okay but what is it?" And I'd say "It's a TV show on RU-vid." And they'd say "Right but what is it about?" And I'd say "The RU-vid channel is actually called Quentin Smirhes... That's why it's called 'QTV'." And they'd say "I get that but what's the channel about? What shows are on the channel?" And I'd say "Quentin is the star attraction on the channel. That's why the channel is called 'Quentin Smirhes'" And they'd say "Okay but who is Quentin Smirhes?" And I'd say "He's the star attraction on the channel." And they'd say "Who the hell is Quentin Smirhes?!" And I'd say "Let's watch some QTV!" And they'd say "Please unlock the front door, I wanna leave!" And I'd say "Okie dokie! But first, let's watch some QTV!" And then they'd say... "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" And I'd say "Isn't this fun?" And they'd say "..." And I'd say... Are you still reading this? Nice! I was bored. Have a nice day! :]

Cant believe i am obsessed with this channel. The “dont you start” motto is being used by everyone at work now!!! Its utter crap but pure addictive genius as well.

You are genius sir.

I love the news intro

This was what life was like when I was learning to speak English again after getting my head run over by a feral Dormobile in 1972, after which I could remember very little and only speak Polish, despite never having been to Slough. To this day though I still often muddle up similar words like pish, weewee and theorbo.

i always come back to this . i love QTV !

Warm memories of getting off school with a fever watching daytime telly.

Another corker, by far better than current tv I you guys and gals are true performers, thank you, it gets me through my worries and anxieties with what is going on in this world, Love to all of You x,

How I’ve missed QTV, I remember weekend mornings watching these consumer help and information programs in the 70s……you’ve got it off to a tee….. fabulous and so clever

As a small child in the 1970s, I had a very tangible fear of most of the childrens programs I saw on TV. There seemed to be a latent darkness behind each one. I now feel I'm not on my own. It doesn't make it feel any better though.

Outside is film, inside is video tape. This is correct because TV cameras were the size of a Volkswagen and consumed enough electricity to kill an elephant.

Genius.

I simultaneously watched this and Quentins evening stretchersizes. I think my heads gone.

Brilliant, with a welsh robot to boot

Beautifully warped. With a huge dollop of nostalgia. :)

I feel sufficiently educated and entertained.

Well, thanks for making me trawl through Schools and Colleges clock videos to hunt down the title for that "Quentin swims in his underpants" QTV continuity music! 😀 "Sunny Standby" by John Patrick for those who don't want to have to sit through the continuity music videos I had to sit through to find it!

I could literally watch QTV all day. Marvelous.

I watch all the films on this channel and am reminded of the daytime telly in the 70s and 80s.

Cheers for this. It’s a real cure for my square eyes and cataracts. I’m gonna show it to my optician. Specsavers were useless at fixing my eyesight.we should be able to get this from the NHS on prescription. Thank you, I can now finally see properly again.

For any doubters. I was in the black and white snippet of the audience. A hundred years ago or so to this very hour.

Amazing

Thank you for this timely excerpt young Quentin, I for one particularly enjoyed the echoes of Jan Švankmajer in the opening titles, good day....

Very educational! COFFEE and GARIBALDI!

Coffee leads to coughing leads to coffin. :D

Oh Yes! I need another Quentin's Brain Laundry. Thank You, I need it, because my girlfriend left me

Wow; the graphics, sound effects, delivery, staging and colour are absolutely bang on for 1970’s daytime and ‘schools’ television. As for the uncanny valley element, likewise right on target - any non-70’s kids that doubt this, just loop up Hartley Hare from Pipkins, or Horatio Nibbles - the 80’s weren’t much better - Worzel Gummage putting on his ‘handsome head’ from his barn of heads… or, Mr Noseybonk!

QTV the bastion of news reporting and the unbiased newsreader Philip Whasp. Thank you Quentin and,before you say it "Don't You Start". P.S. I love your world, I shall now quaff, cough, something in your honour.

I like that it's in 4:3. My eyes don't have to do so much work.

Can we have another Pint at Lunchtime episode with Wilf Bamber. The alsation barking was something i remember in the 80s pub.

Brilliant!!!

I remember watching Don't You Start on the days I was able to fool my mum into thinking I was ill, silly cow. Brings back loads of memories, none them good mind you.

Hang on that’s the bird from Fiddlesticks.

it's the childhood programmes I would have wanted

You start with look around you and after a while you are on the hard stuff

Brilliant. It's like a strange and nightmarish On The Move.

Genius!

This was so good I watched it twice.

Ahh I'm so relaxed after watching this.👍

Again, this was fascinating...

I thought I had a Betamax cassette missing. Someone bloody pilfered it and uploaded it to RU-vid.

I'm laying on the sofa off school with a temperature in 1973 all over again

Hehehe, the credits written in imperfect Czech came as a surprise...

This is best enjoyed with a plate of thinly sliced luncheon meat and a side order of Tudor crisps. And a frozen strawberry mousse for afters.

"On the move" (which was unarguably Bob Hoskins greatest character performance) meets "Choc-a-bloc" meets "Aap Kaa Hak". Next on QTV Susan Stranks presents this week's episode of "colonic irrigation - a beginners guide".

Since I found Quentin's channel, babysitting has become a doddle; I just put this, or an episode of Stare with Mother on and the little sh*ts are in bed faster than you can say "Don't you start".

This is absolutely brilliant creative work.

a masterful production as always!!!

I'm pretty certain I used to watch this as a child 😯

Utterly utterly perfect! I adore QTV and this is the finest yet. You’ve put a ton of work into this, clearly.

splendid work quentin, my hat off to you.

Perfection! Geoff is the best!

This is superb.

Very lovely

Certified Coughin Moment

Krotfilm from Czechoslovakia always had me traumatized..

Fuck me, you've excelled yourselves here. A cameo from Old Mr Ffff and it would have been full house!!! 😂😂😂

Ghostbox - sign Quentin NOW!

Again, perfect

1:38 would make a great screensaver! Or maybe a virus. I also like the clever progression from coffee to cough, coffin, then Roger McGough.

"COMFREY!"

A masterpiece of tv

amazing !

this is nice. very nice

Mr Smirhes , i have missed these QTV programme shedule videos so much , this was worth waiting for and more , Great to see Rudi from Fiddlesticks making an appearance too. Superb Nostalgia with that hint of 70s creepiness mixed in. Would love to see Toby the Foghorn making his debut on here someday. Superb editing by you all , a really wonderful video. Thank you. The Tinsel & Custard theme tune was inspired. And don't you start was just as superb as see & do.

Tinsel and Custard brought to you by Jan Svankmajer

I believe Quentin has a connection with a supplier of some very high quality shit.

Dear Lord, please let it be that Robin Askwith watches this channel........

3:58 the best part . genius

Jeff Lynne's gentle brother. :D

I have seen this video inside a cup once

Brilliantly well observed and executed, your videos get better and better. I just realized the guy in the beige mac is a take on Roger McGough.. Sunday evenings were always bathtime, back to school tomorrow with On The Move, The Onedin Line, Songs of Praise and charity appeals with Kenneth Kendall, Richard Baker and bone-chilling music that gnawed at the core of your soul. God, the 70's were depressing in many ways.

I cant make up my mind if this is just friggin crazy or genius. I was born 1972 so have vague memories of this type of TV lol. Seriously think this was genuine 70s TV its well done but equally very disturbing. Was expecting the 'Electricity/Frisbee' advert.

Signifying the end of coherence, with some formidable bbc memory = thatcher w/ tree pocket candies.. congratulations on your master degree in bill oddy. now (I) go fix the cost of living.

Truly an epic if deeply unsettling installment of QTV. Can anybody tell me how I too can get a Quintin screensaver, showcasing his impressive acrobatics and sinewy backstroke?

It's sad that all the robot factories in The Kingdom of Fife were shut down by The Iron Lady.