Story 2: I'm Moroccan myself. Based on both social, cultural and religious experiences, the parents are at least 80% likely to be homophobic, and the rest is definitely classism. I feel terrible for OP and I hope the boyfriend has a serious sit down with his parents.
@@damienhailey118I really feel for him. It's incredible the parents haven't disowned his boyfriend already, maybe he's an only child and he's their only son But if he wants to keep OP he needs to step up
“Culture” in a million quotes if this is how their government officials act like. Culture is supposed to be enriching, not oppressive. Those two need to take a flying leap to present time.
@@HobieInTheBox that or they want to keep appearances. So they act like they support their son being gay, but push out any partner he could have with stunts like the food one
First Story, NTA: OP's gf is using straight up manipulation against OP. Her dad's death is not OP's fault. Insane how she used this form of manipulation when SHE cheated
There's an update on the Get Ready story. The husband kept 'fixing' his car whenever the wife and kids needed anything. OP(wife) read a bunch of the comments from the original thread and realized that the husbands behavior was off. She spoke to her kids and found out that the husband has been aggressive with them and treating them poorly. OP confronted the husband and he's checked out and wants out of the marriage and no longer wants anything to do with the kids as well. So they are divorcing.
Fourth story: NTA. She's not "feeling nothing", she's being intencionally demeaning for no good reason. I think she wants to manipulate OP by making him feel pathetic.
She has a much better sex life than most women her age have ever had, historically. Treating women as... well, people is a very recent thing, relatively speaking.
Definitely, but boy does this not make her look good to her friends either. And, like what else does she want from him? A pony? If she had problems, she should've brought it up in private because it will guaranteed get the opposite reaction from all parties involved as seen by literally everyone feeling awkward after.
It’s nice to see someone actually saying something about this one. Too often guys are thought about as just get their rock off and be done. Some actually do care about their partner’s enjoyment as well.
She sounds like a really mean person. Not only was what she said of course going to hurt OP, but it would also have humiliated him. She doesn't appear to realise how horrible she would have appeared to her friends. And what the heck... 10 months! If she cared anything for her husband she would have sought counselling.
There is update to 3 story: - Op child had a football match, she left with her kids without her husband cause he again was not ready. - Another week op kids were going to friends b-day part and father was suppose to drop kids and ofcourse father was working on his car again, when kids complained to father he called them whiny brats. Op left her friends and took her kids to b-day party, but kids missed most of the fun times because of late. - Op is divorcing her husband, she has enaugh of his constant late or not showing up at all. When op mother died, not only her husband was very late at the funeral, he also didnt showed any emotional support to her. - He told OP that he no longer wants any involvement in anything to do with the family and will move out ASAP. OP sons and she will go about their lives, and the soon-to-be-ex-husband will go about his.
The one with the husband and the birthday dinner- that showed up on BORU. She got around to realizing that hes only ever late to THEIR stuff [stuff for the kids, stuff for her] but NEVER late to his own stuff. Turns out he was also awful in other ways. I believe shes seeking a split and he immediately said he wanted nothing to do with the kids. Sad, but at least shes getting out
quickly popping onto this to say that the husband was mega shitty if the fact that he was late to OP's MOTHER'S FUNERAL is anything to go on frankly he should have been booted out the door like a loony tune the second he pulled that, and his excuse for it was that "He WaS iN a MeEtINg aT WorK"
Last story - No, rSlash, the best bet isn't to "hire someone to do it." The best bet is to not bluff, and *stop cleaning it*. If the wife wants to use it, she can clean it. That was the agreement, and she refused to hold up her end of the bargain. She can't have her cake and eat it too. As a "married man" you should know that a marriage relies on mutual respect as one of the cornerstones. This wife, clearly, does not respect her husband or the effort he puts in for her, at least not regarding the pool. So, the price of that lack of respect is that *her* pool doesn't get cleaned.
Story 3: I am a chronically late person, I was late to work this morning even, and that husband just sucks. You work on your car THIRTY MINUTES before your WIFE's birthday?? *your* *WIFE* ...do you even like her dude???
I was thinking the same thing. GF's dad died in an accident that OP didn't cause. GF is trying to make herself the victim. OP should ask GF one question: "How does your father's death years ago excuse you cheating on me?" And then he should break up.
The channel said 4 out of five one way and 5 out of five the other way. I think either way you slice it. It's 5 out of 5 maybe even six out of five. That is a scummy thing to do, and I would've ended it on the spot. Manipulation games should be an instant no for everyone, at least in my opinion.
Yeah, later in he was supposed to take the kids to a friend's birthday and he decided last minute to work on the car again. OP took the kids and the kids were an hour late to the party. The husband was saying the kids were being to sensitive.
@@nevinhernandez448At least the kids got to see why mom felt as she did on her birthday. Dad totally disrespected everyone, not just his family but all other party-goers.
@@shannonp1656 oh they already knew, kids are very observant, this was just final straw situation. OP could tolerate more of the husband's disrespect, but not when it comes to the kids.
The last story about the husband who has to clean their swimming pool because of his lazy ass wife is that the husband needs to call in a construction company to remove the pool and then sit down and watch the shit hit the fan afterwards
OPs wife is the adult version of a child promising to take care of a dog. When the kids are more on board about cleaning the pool is telling. I don’t think OP should get rid of the pool yet just in case the kids use it. However he should hold up to his word which he should’ve done in the first place. Either she cleans the pool or pays for pool maintenance out of her own money
Absolutely! I’d have it done on a Saturday. Put out my lawn chair with a fresh pot of coffee and enjoy the show. 😂 I’m 53f and I don’t do a thing with with hot tub my husband bought. Yes, it’s lovely to use but I told him when he said he wanted one that I would not have anything to do with maintenance at all. He agreed and we’ve no issues at all. That wife is a git!
Last story: don't bluff, ignore the pool until she brings it up, tell her you meant what you said and forced her to clean it. She agreed to your turn start making her live up to it.
OP has some an extremely severe case of survivor’s guilt and an absolute garbage girlfriend. She doesn’t actually blame OP, she just used the most hurtful thing she could think of to hurt and manipulate him. Dump the girl and find a therapist. Good luck.
from what OP said, this seems like a _normal_ survivor's guilt scenario- all he really said is that he felt guilty when the subject came up, which is completely natural. but therapy is probably still a good idea, since it's still a terrible situation and the manipulation would have made that worse.
Intimacy story: OP, there is nothing wrong with what you bring to the bedroom. If your wife has issues, she needed to bring them up in the privacy of your marriage, not to others. If it’s true that you complete her 3-4 times per session, BRAVO! I know that being married for a while and having children, can put a damper on your intimate life, but we all go through these ups and downs. Your wife is ungrateful and selfish.
Story 1: NOPE, NTA. LEAVE HER RIGHT AWAY. The moment ANYONE blames you for an accident and tries to use that to get their way with you, YOU RUN. “My dad is dead because of you, so you shouldn’t break up with me even though I cheated on you” is HORRIFYING. That almost sounds like the set up for a horror movie about a crazy stalker, it’s so bad.
I do agree OP got to GTFO and isn’t the AH because he was a kid but the girlfriend is a solid 5/5 AH because that’s evil to hold something over someone’s head that they did when they were 8 years old
@@GalliaUchiha its like if i asked for someones dad to make me a steak on the grill and the grill out of sheer randomness decided to explode is that now my fault? or would it have likely exploded regardless and he would still met the same fate?
Story 2: NTA. You stood up for yourself. You were challenged and you won. (PS I did this to my dad once in a much less vicious setting.) Flush the "better person" nonsense.
For the last story, I’m petty enough to explain to the kids that the pool is sick, so he needs to sleep it off until mommy can help heal him with the rest of the family. Then use a pool cover and allow my “employees” to reprimand the issue.
Story 4: note that she'll say anything but sorry and won't give any of these excuses to the group of people she embarrassed you in front of. In the way did she mean that, no way did she give that answer and meant because she couldn't feel anything after childbirth, even if I want the case why did she wait days later to explain herself in privet? Not to mention she could have mentioned what you did in foreplay giving up with a better answer the question.
^^^^^ Like, crazy how she only clarified what she meant _after_ the fact when they were by themselves, but when in front of everyone, she kept it vague enough to make people think Op sucked overall rather than that she just couldn't really feel a specific part of it
rSlash: An eight year old who asks someone to buy them a toy is not responsible for someone's death. Agreed. Reminds me of a line in the show Lomgmire; Jacob Nighthorse says this to Walt Longmire: "So if a man who works at a fracking company books a room in my hotel, suddenly I'm responsible for Global Warming?"
Story 2: the boyfriend AND the parents are TA, but especially the boyfriend for not IMMEDIATELY shutting the father down BOTH times OP was given tampered-with food. BF should've given his father the spicy food to demonstrate how well he could handle it and chewed him out for being rude.
Story 2 Okay but if Op didnt eat the food then the dad would be upset about him wasting food. The dad gets a bigger score. And honestly he never would have eaten it if his bf stood up for him more. Dad gets 2 outa 5 for basically poisoning Op and being such a horid host. Bf gets 1 outa 5 for not sticking up for Op and not getting Op the new seasoned food himself since he knew his parents didnt like Op Op gets 0 outs 5 hes the victim, taken to a hostile environment, being judged by home country, and had he refused the food at any point would be judged for that. ... O problems story Its cuz they are using the toys wrong 😂 Use the buzzer while shes on top. Get a s*x therapist now!
Story 1: Nonononono, run run run. Not only is her dad's death not his fault, but who uses her dead father to blackmail OP into a relationship? She's an actual psycho.
Story 4: Especially with context, that was a really mean comment, like she straight up told OP that he is ULTRA terrible at s3x, heck based on the reactions from other people, it made everyone THAT uncomfortable. "Too sensitive" my arse, I guess everyone else was "too sensitive" then since they weren't comfortable from the comment either
It could’ve been the drinks that made her say it like that for sure. She should apologize for saying that to them. I did however think that she meant by penetration when she said that. She probably misses enjoying that. Straight women have told me there is a difference between the real thing and a toy.
5:34 bro what? No! Also as someone who has gorged down painful spicy foods, I never had it bother me the next day. Not even in my stool 5:57 I mean what? No one was questioning that! 6:43 I just don’t agree. OP is petty revenge. Not the same thing! 14:25 obvious bait and switch? Seen what coming? Nothing came! Wha-? She’s gonna do the pool whether she likes it or not
Capsaicin remains active even after exposure to stomach acid and the alkalinity of the rest of the gi tract, a lot of people regret eating spicy foods because of the dreaded round 2. Not everyone is affected granted, but still
The ol' "I'll do 100% of the work if you agree to get it" switch. I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one who fell victim to it. For me, it was a fish tank... She loved looking at the fish, buying the fish, decorating the tank and enjoying it but I did about 90% of the work maintaining it and keeping it healthy. I also ended up being the emotional support when the fish died and she got sad about it... I was also the driver to all the pet stores to find the ones she wanted. XD
This is my dad and my sister to my mum every time they want to grow tomatoes. Always ends up mum doing 99% of the work and me helping her. I don't even like tomatoes!!
As someone who works on and does mods to their car, even what should be a 15 minute project can turn to multiple hours. I would never start something 30 minutes before I needed to go to my wife's birthday dinner.
Story 2: “You should have been the bigger person…” Me: queue the worlds biggest eye roll. “GFY dude.” Also, for the record, NTA. That father is a stubborn POS who lost his own game, and OP was expected to apologize!? My dude, run. This is NOT a family you want to affiliate yourself with.
Seriously, how is this a EHS??? OP literally didn't do anything to deserve getting mistreated. Putting himself thru pain just made his BF's family uncomfortable WHICH IS THE POINT. They're the one singling him out. Also i definitely feel there is homophobia going on, even if they say they accept him. It's not just classism.
Eh OP lost imo, yeah he ate the food, but all he did was give the father the satisfaction of watching him suffer In his shoes I’d have been like “oh this is a little too much for me” and poured a bunch in the fathers meal, then the balls in his court, either he shuts up and eats it, or he has to admit he made it too spicy for even himself, the former has him in pain and the latter makes him look like the jackass he is
@@nationalinstituteofcheese3012Yeah that is easier said than done, the parents could've easily turned around and accused OP of being disrespectful for not eating with them. OP loses either way
Story 1: OP that's not your fault, you didn't cause the accident, and you couldn't have predicted it was going to happen. So if anything you should dumper her for cheating, and go completely NC for the horrific guilt tripping she tried to pull on you. Her reasoning doesn't matter, no answer is going to make her less toxic.
Story 3: He didn't want to go out. It doesn't matter what he was doing there is no kind of working on your car that takes 5 minutes, and even then he would still doing it when it was time to go. But it wasn't enough for him to get out of going he wanted you to miss your own birthday celebration because he didn't want to go, so he can take his her feelings and shove it where the sun don't shine. This was your day and the barebone minimum he could do is not try to ruin it by being selfish and petty.
While everyone’s commenting on Story 1, I’m gonna comment on Story 4: as a women, I can vouch that 3-4 o’s in one session is INCREDIBLE. Personally I’ve only experienced maybe 2-3 via one session, and a majority of the time having to do it myself. So I don’t know what the hell OP’s wife is talking about when she says she isn’t satisfied, and I agree with rSlash that her comment was just straight up mean.
Story 3-- I HATE it when people are late. My job involves a lot of time-based things, and when people are late, it means their experience is cut short and they lose the money they put into it. This has translated into my personal life-- if you make plans and someone doesn't value your time, either by arriving late or blowing off those plans, then why spend any more time on them or wait around for them? NTA. OP had a commitment, and her husband didn't value her time.
The last story feels like such a weird take. "I cant believe you didn't expect your wife to lie to you! Silly OP, you should've seen it coming." Like...huh?
I'd really like to believe that Rslash isn't in a toxic relationship, but yeah I think he's misjudged the seriousness of the situation a bit. Maybe he lowered his guard because of the lighthearted jokes OP made, or maybe his partner being a bit irresponsible with chores isn't a dealbreaker for him. We don't know what OP's overall relationship dynamic is either, and they didn't indicate that there's any underlying issues with the wife. Maybe, even, Rslash is just tired of having to judge toxic people and wants to give her the benefit of the doubt? Anyway, imo OP shouldn't just brush it off. The wife keeps frustrating and invalidating him, so they should have a serious talk about it before problems build up. Hopefully, it turns out to be a minor issue that they can find compromise on.
Wow, wonder how long that girl was holding on to that card for. She really thought she had the ultimate "get out of jail free" card If she really blamed him she wouldn't have dated him
Story 2:OP was in a battlefield of hell and survived,let's all pay respects to his tongue,stomache and especially his AH Man,That first comment was golden😂😂😂
The pool story had me roaring with laughter! ‘My employees had to take time off to attend school’! 😂😂😂 When my husband and I were house hunting in the States, neither of us were interested in a pool. If the right house can along and it had a pool, the first we’d have done is hire a company to fill that thing in! No thank you. He did want a hot tub, which is lovely to have, but I told him he was in charge of that bad boy. I’ve never done anything with it other than enjoy it. We’ve no issues at all. OP should have stuck to his guns from day one! It’d be fabulous if he hired a company to fill it in, remove it, on a Saturday. Set up his lawn chair and enjoy the shite show! His wife is a prat. How much does she actually use the pool? Probably once every few months.
Story 2: no argument here the dad is the worst person in this entire story, and I get what OP was trying to do. But in the end I'm pretty sure the guys not losing sleep over you almost killing yourself eating food that you described "unedible". Plus you ended up cutting your BF 3 days of his vacation taking care of you. I got nothing against being petty and flexing on some dirtbag, but not at your own risk.
Story #1. 1, it's not his fault there was a car accident. 2. He was 8 YEARS OLD! How is an 8 year old responsible for a car accident? 3. I'm guessing he's got a long history with the gf and she's been manipulating him for years but his guilt doesn't see it. She's toxic and he's better off without her.
Both of my parents are notorious for running late. Mum gets distracted so is late getting ready. Dad tends to not even start getting his shoes or coat on until mum's going to start the car, then forgot something upstairs or had to use the bathroom, or had to give the cat water... when everyone is already in the car. And he gets pissed if she honks lol
Story4 She could have said that they explore more, but, nah, let's just emasculate the love of our life in front of everyone. Seems like a fun idea..... * TEN MONTHS?! I had to wait nearly 3 months after my second child and thought I'd lose my mind! The fact that he patiently waited ten months is outstanding for a man, and she should have been grateful! ...poor dude must've built up some calluses
The bf who got mad at his partner for eating the overspiced food and barely even attempted to defend his boyfriend is actually the biggest AH in that story.
1:20 honestly it would never have occurred to me that I should feel guilty because *_I wasn’t there_* 6:10 there was nothing to apologise. You could’ve had your spicy meal and eat it too. And do what Discount Mithral said for you to tell them as well as the fact that you are self made high ranking in your career and all that. Do they not know? Better wait until they change. The 2 of you should go no contact and if they don’t try and then tell them about your job and money that way they can realise their mistake while knowing their son won’t talk to them again. Ya know?
Last Story: I think OP's best course of action is to just do nothing. Let your kids know that it's the mom's responsibility to handle the upkeep and wait to see how long before she complains about it. She's calling you on your bluff, so prove your point. Do not handle it anymore. She'll either cave or want it gotten rid of.
I have PCOS too but have as many O’s. as I want, Especially with toys. Trying to figure out what PCOS has to do with an orgasm unless it’s just pain involved with your fiancé being inside?? Maybe adding some toys to your bedroom time would help? I think everyone deserves a good O in the bedroom!
11:50 I'd say if the data is only percentage of women who finish during sessions and not number of times per session, then your answer is "less than once every session"
Last story - Dude never should have done anything to the pool in the first place. Now his choices are: A- stop and let her deal with green, icky water, or B- give her the number a good pool service and make sure she knows she is paying for 100%, or C- (and this is my fav one) call a contractor to fill it in with cement and be done with it entirely.
Blaming OP for the GF’s dad’s death is like blaming the holocaust on ArchDuke Franz Ferdinand’s limo driver. Like, yes. *Technically* they are responsible for the circumstances that allowed the tragedy to happen, but it’s not like they knew the butterfly effect of their innocent action in the moment, and also that’s ignoring that there’s someone else who is directly responsible. In the case: whoever was at fault for the accident.
(Am a woman myself) What I'm going to comment on here is not true for every woman, afab person, etc. Just want to share what I've learned in my own s3xual wellness journey and by doing some research. A lot of women are generally able to "finish" multiple times in a session (they have the potential to, sometimes it takes work to find out what works for them in the first place though) as it doesn't take most of our bodies the extra cooldown time that most men/amab people generally need between finishing. Some women are able to finish from penetration, but not all. It's only a small percentage who can (can't remember exact numbers but I am pretty sure it's less than 40%). But that's why what the OP is doing in the bedroom is important: if both partners are able to finish, regardless of the ways that that is happening, as long as it's consensual then that's awesome! OP sounds like he works hard to prioritize her pleasure, and I appreciate that. There have been relationships where I have felt used if it is just penetration, as I typically do not finish from it without outside help (toys are great, highly recommend). What I'm trying to say is - in the intimacy story, from what we're hearing from OP, he sounds like a great partner in the bedroom. He gets her off, and then afterward gets to finish himself. It sounds like a great time to me, and I've always appreciated when partners are willing to prioritize my pleasure first before they finish themselves (as their "cooldown" time is longer than mine and I can keep going for them). If his wife is having issues, she should talk to him privately about those rather than embarrassing him in front of people (friends, even) in public. That's super disrespectful, and just straight up mean. Like, what the heck? Do you even like him?? I'm not a huge fan of public shaming in general, and will say that in this situation it's even MORE uncalled for because if OP's story is truthful, he is a very good and thoughtful partner. I feel bad for him. If what's going on isn't working for her, she needs to communicate about it. He seems like a reasonable guy, and like he would be open and receptive to trying to help her receive pleasure in other ways if the current ones are no longer working. OMG it's like he loves her or something! Lol I wish him the best.
like rslash said, that first girl is either psychopathic for getting with the guy she believes killed her dad just so she can cheat, or sociopathic for manipulating OP with his own displaced guilt - which by the way, that accident was no-one's fault, especially not OP's.
Story 4: It's disrespectful to EVERYONE attending the dinner for him to be late, but especially to OP when the dinner is to celebrate her birthday. Since she provides the context that he makes them late to everything she just needs to keep leaving him for events to hold him accountable.
God, first story reminded me of the book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. Main character had blamed himself for the death of his aunt, who died in a car crash while she was on her way to get him a birthday present. Of course, if you've read that book yourself, then you'll know that is nowhere near the saddest part of the book.
I haven't even finished the first story yet, but fucking run, dude!! Edit to add: No matter how you slice it r/slash, she gets 5/5 either way. Even if she's just a cheater, that she would pull that crap just to make him feel bad about being upset? No, that's too far.
Growing up, my dad was also notoriously late. We got to the point of telling him things were earlier than they actually were so he could be some semblance of on time. Unfortunately that didn't effect Christmas one year. I was about 13 years old. We had all of my siblings and I, my stepmom, and both of my dad's parents waiting patiently for my dad to.................. FIX THE BATHROOM FAUCETS. We still haven't let him live it down. I'm 40 now. How many kids were left sitting, starting at their presents with forlorn looks on our faces? 4. There were 4 of us with two other parents holding cameras and one trying to keep breakfast warm. Edit: I forgot to add that any time a new person would come over for Christmas after that (like spouces to be and such) we would continue to get him back for that one Christmas 27 years ago, by telling them the story. It's almost its own tradition at this point lol.
Late husband story has a couple updates. OP mentions that she used to be a SAHM up until a few years ago, which is also when her husband began being late to all types of family events. She mentions that he's always on time for work and when he's supposed to hang out with friends. She went out with her friends and her husband was supposed to drop their kids off at a birthday party. OP gets a phone call from her oldest when they were supposed to be at the party, tells her that their dad refused to take them and berated them for asking if he could. OP takes them to the party, makes up her mind about the divorce; and in another update she tells him that she wants one and he tells her it's fine, that he wants nothing to do with the family
Last story: it’s only a losing battle until you give in. The wife is clearly acting like a child. It’s time to show her that actions have consequences.
I'm a pleasure, Dom, and usually 5-7 O's is when the safe word comes out. Once, got a very stubborn partner up to 11, but she walked like a newborn deer for the rest of the day.
I was 27 and my best friend was 23. He lived in Chicago and I live in the Seattle area. He flew out to spend time with me and my wife and kid, and his plane back to Chicago crashed and he was killed. I was totally gutted of course, and had some pretty big survivor guilt, but I never once told myself that I killed him. That's beyond messed up.
First story: NTA. First, is not OP's fault, he couldn't predict the future, second, the fact that she used that as an excuse to cheat she is literally demanding that her father breaks out of his grave to scold her because surely he wouldn't want for her to disrespect his memory in such way. If OP breaks with her is not because of the cheating, but because she is a horrible excuse of human being.
Last story: Wife pulled the same thing on me with the litter box. Obviously, when she was pregnant and nursing, I wouldn't let her near that thing and I was super careful with touching surfaces with clean hands, gloves, etc. But the several-year stretches where she wasn't pregnant or nursing, I remained the one taking care of it. I recently talked to her about this and she said it was because we had been using a different litter that gives her headaches (I get them too, but I just cover my nose with a handkerchief like I was robbing a bank in the Old West). I told her pick out the kind that doesn't. She did...I'm still doing the litter box. I hate cats. lol
Absolutely, listen to any story where the husband just disagrees with his wife at all. Also, total ad-hominum, but look up dabney's face and ask if you wouldn't hold onto any woman you could get.
Story #2 - Spicy Food Next time OP visits, he should bring them a gift of Carolina Reapers. Just practice eating them, you build a tolerance very quickly. I can eat them like skittles, lol. But someone who has no tolerance will be on the ground, crying and begging for death, lol. You eat one first so he knows they're safe and he'd look like a pansy if he didn't try one, then watch what happens. But I suspect there was more than hot peppers in that food. People take pure capsasin in capsule form because it helps with nerve pain. But even a pure extract is through your system in 8 hours at most, not 3 days. If it took that long, I suspect the peppers were covering the taste of nutmeg, which can fuck your world up if you eat too much of it. It is used in Moroccan "Ras el Hanout" (a spice blend which often includes peppers). You can hallucinate, experience heart arrythmia, and extreme digestive upset for days. If it was just peppers, OP would have been fine. If he went that long, it was from too much nutmeg, which is dangerous.
Last story: Just because wives are known to be lazy doesn't mean they should be lazy, I don't belive in the whole wives are lazy thing but apparently rslash does lol
12:15 I don't think I've ever had a partner in at least the last 10 years or more that didn't finish a bare minimum of 10 times every single session...
