The only mistake OP made here is rushing to Omar's rescue. Should have just played dumb the entire time. Omar is a grown person; he can deal with consequences of his own action. If HR does anything to the OP OP can just sue them.
I can't help but feel that it's because OP is a woman in Omar is a man. Or at least a large part of it. A lot of HR horror stories on Reddit do seem to be written because HR has a sexism problem.
HR is not your friend. HR only protects the company from the employees _by any means necessary._ Them ignoring OP is the best case scenario. They could have easily fired and sued OP to destroy her life and make sure she doesn't have money to counter-sue the company.
The other big thing about story one is that OP didn’t sneak peanuts into a dish which wouldn’t normally have peanuts just to trick Omar. She just had leftovers that happened to have peanuts in it. I think that’s a big distinction which makes her even more NTA.
@@peachymiku6432 because now they have to label their food, they didn’t care because their food wasn’t getting stolen but after OP taught the thief a lesson who most likely cried to HR, now THEY are being “punished” too due to OP actions.
@@Krystal40553 Even then, wouldn't the logical thing to do in the blame game be blaming the thief instead of the person who's lunch was stolen? Seriously, what rational person goes "It's all your fault for getting your lunch stolen in the first place". That office is full of idiots.
@@Krystal40553 But she didn't teach the lesson on purpose. OP said specifically that she wasn't even thinking about it when she brought it in. OP only realized it when the food was stolen. Also, what person would would be trying to kill the food thief suddenly rush to said food thief to warn them of the ingredient that could kill their victim? This is why I say I don't get their logic. They are jumping through mental hoops to justify it. And this all happened because of an accident. She didn't teach the thief a lesson. All she did was bring food and the thief stole it again. And Omar was the one who escalated the issue.
@@DEGENERATE_MELON I know but people are like that, it’s like victim blaming. It’s easier to blame her since it was her lunch and she was the one having an issue with the thief not them. I don’t get it either, but I met people like this before and it just pisses me off.
I’m wondering if they only complied with the allergen labels because they worried that Omar would sue for religious discrimination or something else? If he was a new hire then he likely was under a probation period and should’ve been a new fire.
Some people define cheating and affairs differently with the former being a one time oopsie and the later being ongoing and "worse". Those people are wrong and bsing but that's probably what she meant.
Disagree, she cheated, she didn't had an affair. And I am on the team of no pardon. But I still agree that a cheating without affair is "better" than with it. Both time I would end things anyway. But it is the lesser evil
@@texasranger7687 nope. Cheating even once is an affair. She had a string of texts on her phone. That is an emotional affair. Affairs need not contain sex, they can be a betrayal of trust just like this. Trying to differentiate between "cheating" and "affair" is just pointless semantics that holds no purpose other than to muddy the waters and make the guilty feel less ashamed. Stop handing these people ready made copouts.
Story 1: if you have an allergy to anything and steal food without knowing what's in it you're the dumb-A that doesn't get to be mad at anyone. And since it's none of the other employees that are getting their food stolen, they don't get to say anything. Yes you did intentionally put peanuts in your food but he could have easily avoided it if he hadn't tried to steal it.
It wasn’t even intentional. OP brought food that happened to have peanuts. It’s not like they added the peanuts to their pizza or anything. They just cooked with it.
The baffling part is that Omar got mad at OP. Bro, you stole from OP and you got your just-desserts, getting mad at someone is the LAST thing you should be doing right now.
Story 3: imagine throwing your entire life and all your relationships out the window because of some wrinkles and a trashy guy. This is self destruction on an atomic level.
Oh boy, i haven't been in a Butlins in like 20 years. I even thought that they were out of business. I have seen this story happen many times in Butlins a long time ago. 😁😁😁
And she had the realization multiple times that she was effing things up and still did them. Them not it. She showed that she does not value OP as a husband at all. Just like fling boy, OP is just a resource to her.
@@agentzapdos4960 To be honest as horrible as cheating is, insecurity is an extremely powerful feeling that some people can't overcome until they realize how far its taken them. Cheaters tend to be vile as a whole and give into lesser desires or dont really care enough to stop themselves. Things effect different people differently and at different amounts though. While what she did was horribly wrong, everything else after has shown she now truly understands just how much she screwed up and how much she let her insecurity control her. I'm all about second chances if someone shows they deserve it, if he just feels pain and sadness and all the love is gone then sure that cant be helped and it should end. If he cares about her and he still loves her I think they can work this out. To rSlashes ending comments on that story, it will never get that far even IF he doesn't leave. She has actually fully learned a lesson by her actions after, you can know something is wrong but some people just don't understand it until they make that mistake People are imperfect, we all have flaws and issues we need to work through. Out of all the stories I've heard about cheaters on this channel, this is the only one so far I would say to give a second chance. At least from the mental picture op is painting of her paired with my own life experiences
What a "prize" the guy she cheated with was! he is on a date, dumps them for another women flirting with him, doesn't care if he is helping her cheat, and then when told to stop he doesn't leave because he knows he can pressure her to continue. Don't get me wrong the wife is the worst in this situation but she sure chose a "winner" to lose her family too just saying...
Edit: Now I think about it, that food for him was definitely non-Halal Halal means permitted, so stolen food regardless of the sorurce is "Haram" aka non-Halal ! First story: as a Muslim guy, yah many Muslims only apply Halal to their food unfortunately. stealing someone's food is worse than eating none-Halal God may forgive all that is related to offending him but he won't forgive injustice you did to other people
halal food means safe to eat, not about the rules or the legality. its the act of stealing that is considered haram, but the food itself is not. suppose a guy stole some food for his starving kids. obviously the father would be sinned and punished for stealing and not the kids for eating the stolen food.
@reffk5306 I don't know where you get your info, but I'm Arab and Muslim and have the education as well Halal is anything that's allowed not simply about food So, play a sport? Halal. take a walk Halal. Anything that is not mentioned as Haram is Halal by default Stealing is Haram. Any proceeds of act are Haram to consume
@@MrTStat out of curiosity (because I have found conflicting information online and there isn't a mosque nearby where I might be able to find someone to ask in person), is there ever a time when stealing would be maybe not halal but forgivable? Like in the example Reffk5306 gave of starving children.
@@yukikitsune7366 yah if you're starving (or your children ) and there is actually a threat of death of hunger you can steal just enough to keep from dying Although I would say if someone is truly in such conditions that city is doomed
Story 1: Dude, Omar, just don't steal. And then he also has the gall to be mad at YOU for having peanuts in the meal? Yeah, like it's okay to steal and lie in the first place. OP shouldn't have to accommodate someone else, especially a THIEF of all people. Just ask the other employees who are mad at you that if they would do the same, that'll shut them up.
@@bibigamer502he literally was eating her food right in front of her and had the gall to be mad at her? How is he not fired? He stole from her repeatedly and proven that he has no problem with stealing. How soon will he, if he hasn’t, steal company resources?
Also if they're both halal, technically OP has the right to sever Omar's finger, hand, arm, or even head because stealing is a grave crime in halal, you can lose a finger for stealing a single sunflower seed
Instead of being mad at OP, I would thank her and label everything I have as having peanuts. My food, my purse, everything on and in my desk. Everything!
Story 2: that's not how this works, she betrayed you, that means you can forgive her whenever you want and you don't even have to do that. Play from the sounds of it she doesn't plan on stopping whatever you know or not, and is ready to gaslight you if you can play or call her out. So if you don't want to accept her half ass apology you don't have to.
And sexting is infidelity. OP has grounds for divorce. How can he even begin when she shows no remorse and makes no steps to make amends such as delete the ex’s number
Sexting is infidelity and OP has grounds for divorce. And why should OP forgive when his wife isn’t remorseful? Bet she hasn’t even deleted the ex’s contact info
Story 3: even a "1 time mistake" can cause unfixable damage. "Oops, I drove drunk 1 time and killed a guy, I'll never do it again" Too late, the damage is done and can't be fixed. It's the same with cheating, it doesn't matter what excuse you give, it doesn't matter if it was just 1 time, you broke the marriage, and it will never be the same again. Just don't do it, not ever, not under any circumstance.
people who are genuinely remorseful of their actions are the ones who accept any punishment given because it's a compensation for the damage that you caused, cheaters usually give excuses and try desperately to keep the people they hurt in their side, that means that they actually aren't remorseful just guilty, true remorse involves accepting fate and consequences , guilt is just knowing that you did wrong but would do it again regardless
@@tophatxcc fair enough, but at least, i hope, we can agree that many cheaters repeat their conduct regardless in how they feel about it or make others feel
Third story: It was like feeding starving pirahnas. She didn't lose time. With the update: For what am I hearing I think she is explaining in a way to not just trying to gaslight OP but also gaslight herself. She literally commited a life-destroying mistake and she thought "well, is too late to go back" and kept going. She destroyed her own life and there's nothing to blame for herself.
Yeah that first story... I have allergies, I don't steal people's food because who knows what they have in there. It's their food, meant for them. I'm allergic to a lot of things, stealing someone's food is like playing the lotto with death. Maybe you're fine, maybe you're going to the hospital. OP has 0 fault here, the office doesn't have a no peanuts rule so if she wants to eat them for lunch that's her right.
Yeah, but again, that's the point. If I know that you're allergic to something, I suspect that you're the thief, and I deliberately put those allergens in my food, knowing you're going to steal it again, makes me liable if you end up at the hospital, or worse...
How about not stealing food because it is stealing? So I don't steal other peoples food because it belongs to other people. At my last place of work that was a termination offense.
First story: I feel this qualifies as a pretty good workplace harassment lawsuit for OP. The coworkers blaming her, and HR not actually solving the real problem are a pretty open-and-shut case on OP's favor
1st story, NTA But I’ve gotta say, not only is the food thief TA, but HR is TA too, why would they tell people to label their food with allergies warnings instead of make a rule about not stealing food?? This reason alone is enough to create an r/AntiWork post
Ironically they're living proof that when a problem arises, an authoritative body can throw up safeguards and precautions immediately in an effort to prevent it from happening again.
To be honest, this whole story baffles me. You are completely right. I would add that OP's coworkers are TA too for putting the blame on the wrong person and lying about her attempt to kill the thief. What killer would suddenly realize what is going on and immediately warn the victim?
If some dumbass employee gets sick from eating at work, they could sue the company. Idk what chances of winning they possibly have, but HR would do any ridiculous thing not to get sued and there you have it.
@@user-tq1xt2ct8s sure, they can sue but they would have no legs to stand on unless the food was prepared by the company. The moment they admit they stole someone else's food, they've immediately lost the plot. First because they stole, and second because they were stupid enough to bet their life on what is essentially a one way rocket to death. Them getting sick or worse is irrelevant. You can't steal something that isn't yours and expect a judge is just going to let that slide as their first retort is going to be, the chances of getting sick would've 100% guaranteed had they not broken the law and took something that wasn't theirs
Poisoning food is bad. If you know your food will get stolen and there’s something in that food that can kill someone, it could still be murder/manslaughter. That doesn’t make the food thief less of an idiot, but causing an idiot to die is still a death.
The third story is the saddest. Imagine all the women that matter in your life are just easier than multiplying by 0. The heart break from the mother. Damn.
Story 2: Sounds like she never truly left her ex. Not even a year later and she started cheating, why not go back to the ex then? The relationship is dead, there's no salvaging this
Update on story 2 in the comments: Update: I have spoken with an attorney. And am making plans to move forward to separate. We met with a therapist it was the initial meeting and the therapist suggested to have separate meetings with me and her. After the meeting with the therapist, my current wife sent me an article titled “Why women cheat on men they love”. I told her, in my opinion if you were truly remorseful you would send an article titled “how to rebuild trust after it is broken” or something like that, rather than send me an article to read that excuses your behavior. She has since said she is sorry, and that she deleted the conversation and contact with this other man. At first I thought that was good but now I don’t have all of the records of the conversation. I feel like she is sorry she got caught, not necessarily sorry about having an inappropriate conversation with another man. After the vacation I told her to go stay with her family that lives in the area because she wasn’t welcome at my house. I am overwhelmed by the responses to this post. Thank you for your advice as I navigate this unbelievable situation, this is truly never something I could have imagined happening.
@@strikeforce1500they have a 7yr old daughter. If he gets a truly cutthroat lawyer and can prove the wife is not well mentally he might have a chance but this happened in the UK so I have no idea if they are an at fault or no fault divorce area. But as far as the person that posted this main comment you are a saint for posting the update.
@@drwboy07They're talking about story 2, which has a couple who has been married for 8 months and has only been together for 2.5 years, so it's impossible for there to be a 7 year old daughter. You're thinking of story 3.
Story 1: Hey, OP's co-workers, here's an idea. Blame the thief. If he didn't steal OP's food, this whole thing wouldn't have happened. Plus, she saved his life because she warned him of the peanuts in time.
probably the thief is a narcissist and told everyone about HIS side of the story (probably not mentioning of the stealing - he could have claimed that op is trying to trick him by giving food with peanuts then changed her mind). because no sane person would blame the victim.
Cheaters should never be forgiven. It's high time society bands together and works to end this bullshit. And I say this coming from a guy who's been cheated on in multiple relationships. It's so damaging to your mental health and how it affects your entire work life balance, friendships, family etc when you end up in dark places because someone treated you as disposable.
Or, you should just be therapy. Seriously. Changing society is never going to happen. Or you could move to the few countries that stone people to death for cheating. They may be innocent, but no one cares. Sounds like it might be a fit for you. Or therapy, for you, to heal and learn about yourself and improve your picking ability.
I wish Ronald Reagan never became Pres. in the US because he ruined marriage laws. It used to be that if cheaters were caught they could serve time, and had to pay damages. Japan still has that system minus the jail time, but if you cheat over there and get caught your life is over.
@@dudeorduuude5211 You jumped to some wild extremes with the stoning stuff my dude. Don't be a cheater apologist. Also for the most part society agrees cheating is bad it just needs to be recodified with consequences similar to other crimes like fines, and other suitable punishments that shame the cheaters.
"You targeted him and tried to kill him!!1!" He stole food without knowing what was in it lmao, the only thing the labels do is tell him what's safe to steal and what isn't.
I think it’s more never TRUST a cheater. Forgiveness should be up to the person being cheated on, and for their own reasons, in their own time, and not a given. If you want to forgive for your own self, go ahead. If you don’t want to forgive, that’s your decision. Either way, that trust has been broken and won’t come back.
@Kalush19 yeah, that's a good point. I'm still bitter af about being cheated on and it's been 7 years since I've spoken to that bitch. I'm really just mad at myself for ignoring so many red flags.
OP should have no obligation to label her food in order to protect a food thief from their own stupidity. In fact, she didn't even have the obligation to warn him after the fact. Also, the thief should've been fired. Inhuman Resources being Inhuman Resources, as always...
Story 3: she told the guy she was going through a divorce. Well, that was more true than she realized. Because once she kissed the guy she was getting divorced... She just didn't know it yet
Story 2; NTA but run because she doesn't love or value you; you are a place holder and nothing more. OP is just keeping the spot warm for when her ex finally chooses her.
Thankfully people have posted updates which OP is in the process of filing for a separation. They are in therapy together and separately. The wife had the nerve to send OP an link about an article called, “why women cheat”. OP informed her if she too this seriously she should be providing stories about how to repair a marriage after infidelity. The wife has deleted the ex and the messages. OP regrets not getting screenshots.
Story 3: So she basically screwed multiple people because…she panicked over getting old despite being in her 30s? Geez, she needs therapy, because it sounds like only worse will happen over time. And yeah, OP needs to take the daughter and run Edit: Okay, it was one person multiple times, but still it's pretty bad
The issue with that is most courts don't find cheating as a reason for a man to get custody over the mother. Kinda fucked he can lose his family and pay for it financially (cause cheating doesn't negate alimony either)
Notice that they got married when she was 20 and he was 26, so he was likely 24 and she 18/19 when they started dating.... No wonder she had self esteem issues, he plucked her out of HS when he was a working adult. Does not excuse what she did, but OP is sketch as well.
@threecards333 oh cut the crap. She was an adult at 18/19 and knew what she was getting into. She made a commitment to op when she had "I do." If this been a guy and op a woman, everyone would be screaming for her to divorce him.
Okay. The third story bothers me. And I'm not saying this because I've noticed a pattern when it comes to some of these stories. When the spouse cheats everyone else says that they should be forgiven and deserves a second chance, it was a mistake, and they didn't mean too. Maybe I'm crazy but that tends to be the same excuses used.
It's also usually when the wife cheats. If the husband cheats the justified cries of "divorce him!" are immediate. But when a woman cheats, he's expected to "understand her feelings", "give her a second chance", and "think about the family". Not all the time, mind you, but women do seem to get a lot of unearned amnesty for infidelity.
wtf is that last story - why in heck does she feel the need to go into so much detail? She's a cheater, I'd be like bye bye ! All that detail only makes me think she is TRYING to be as cruel to OP as possible. WOW! No one cares about her feeling old at 30 or her "ego" sheesh. You cheated , deliberately and purposefully ! The nerve. I hope OP gets away from this psycho !
I consider the cheating wife as a similar issue to driving drunk and causing an accident. The person could be incredibly regretful and never drink again but a lot of bad decisions were made and now that person needs to face the consequences.
@@lorilancaster5917 I don't remember ever saying that it's ok when a girl doesn't finish when I was drinking. I do hope he takes care of himself. Though, OP sounds like he might have with how glorifies her looks. I find my wife to be gorgeous for me and to me but I don't find her to be beyond my looks
Story 1: Consequences of his own actions. He got what he deserves. Story 2: If she isn’t cheating yet, she’s going to. Cut the line before she does. Story 3: If it were the husband who cheated, people would tune out before hearing any of the excuses and tell OP to divorce him, take all his money, and probably do a few things that I can’t say on RU-vid. Since they clamor for “equal treatment” so loudly, give them equal treatment. Take her excuses and flush them, and the marriage, down the crapper.
For the first story, while I know a lot of people like these kinds of stories (including myself), purposefully sabotaging your food, ie putting laxatives in your food or super hot hot sauce that you yourself would never eat, knowing that someone is going to steal it is actually illegal and can be considered assault/battery. However, packing something that you do eat normally, like OP's leftovers with peanuts, is perfectly fine, because it's something you intended to eat, and you didn't purposefully sabotage. You also aren't required to label your food beyond putting your name on it. If they steal it and they're allergic, that's on them because they stole it, as long as you can prove you didn't intentionally add the allergen in specifically knowing he was going to steal it and he was allergic. For the second story, I'm calling bs on her claiming she's only doing this because she likes the attention. If that was the case, then there would be no need to reciprocate. Nah, sounds to me like she's still hung up on her ex, and possibly even comparing OP to her ex. I don't say this often, but guy needs to run. For the final story, I had a feeling it was due to her feeling insecure about her age. From the sounds of it, I'm guessing she was the shallow hot girl in high school/college who could have any guy she wanted, with her only sense of value and self-worth rooted in her appearance, so once she started getting older had having wrinkles, showing signs of aging, she panicked, and was worried if she was still hot, so she decided to flirt with the next hot guy she saw, who also had a girl with him, and played miss steal yo man, and took it too far. Now she regrets her actions, but only after she felt guilty after seeing her daughter and husband having fun. Like in the previous story, this guy needs to run. As Rslash said, what happens when she gets older and feels more insecure about her appearance? This isn't going to be the last time she cheats if she's this wrapped up in her appearance.
All food has allergens. Someone somewhere is allergic to something in any food. Maybe one label should go on the refrigerator: Food in this fridge may contain allergens.
While this is true, there's a big difference between any ingredient being a potential allergen, and an ingredient that is one of "the big 8" allergens, which includes peanuts. The big 8 are the most common allergens.
Story 3: The only comfort in this story is that OP’s SIL didn’t comfort his wife and that he was told right away rather than spending months/years not knowing.
"YOOOO, DUDE'S GOT STAMINA!" "She walked back to the hotel with the guy, she screwed the guy, and then she screwed the guy and then she screwed the guy FOR THREE HOURS!" "60th birthday bukkake celebrations!"💀💀🤣🤣
The entire last story was torture. The marriage is over and both of you need to make better choices in life...since when is taking coke on a night out "pretty standard for the UK"?
Cheater Stories: A guy on one of those surviving infidelity story channels had the perfect response to the excuses “It was a mistake / It didn’t mean anything / It was the heat of the moment!” “Ok. How about you bend over for me and we’ll make some mistakes of our own right here? Bring your sister and mother too and we’ll do a whole lot of nothing together.” Then when the inevitable appalled response comes, “What’s the matter? You’re so enlightened about mistakes, making a few more shouldn’t be a problem.”
9:56 OMG 😂 I was thinking, "so weird that perfect teeth is the first thing he mentions about his partner, he must be English if perfect teeth is such a big deal" and then it turns out he actually is English 🤣🤣🤣
1:57 Fun fact. I have a friend who burned a stomach ulcer into themselves when they drank milk and they just thought that they were just lactose intolerant. So yeah if the person doesn’t fully understand their limitations they should things like lactose intolerance can kill someone.
The last story: I know that it's not funny but I couldn't help but laugh due to how rSlash was narrating the story. Especially when the woman was proving a lot of details because her husband needed to know how the guy looked and how often they passionately kissed.
Last story: it’s not even the how and why of her cheating that gobsmacked me. It’s the fact that it was as soon as she left the house, probably not even 6 hours after kissing her hubby and daughter goodbye that she started to hook up with a random dude. That’s just straight up shameless.
S1) OP needs to find a better place of employment. Omar is responsible for stealing OP's lunch. If he gets sick from an allergic reaction due to eating something that he stole that's still his fault. They may use this to target OP more. If OP has it documented she should also put in the many times her lunch was stolen before. OP has grounds for a hostile/ toxic work enviroment which the EEO would love to hear about. S2) See what qualifies for an annulment OP. They've been cheating all this time with each other. Also get all the messages sent to yourself so you can hand them over to a bull dog lawyer. S3) Divorce is the only answer. Once someone cheats they're meant for the streets. She chose to cheat, she chose to throw your marriage away, your vows away and you away. Also get a paternity test OP. This may not be the first time she cheated. All trust is out the window with her on the corner crying her entitled tears. Tell mom your wife wasn't thinking about your family when going to sausage town.
Man, I've heard so many stories like that last one, not just from the internet but from friends, former classmates, and even relatives. It's the reason why I don't think I could ever be in a long-term relationship. How can you actually know for sure that the other person isn't going to do something like this in the future (unless you've literally known them since like childhood or something). It would be too much stress for me, even if it were all just in my head.
Wrong way to look at things. If the law assumes innocent until proven guilty it's fair to reason along the same lines when it comes to trusting someone you've gotten to know, irrespective of the type of relationship. I've been lied to and backstabbed by people I've trusted, and it seriously messed with my head, but at the end of the day you'll make for a miserable person if you live assuming guilty until proven innocent. The buck doesn't end with love, either. How do you know your sibling isn't stealing from you because they have access to your house, or that your best friend isn't telling lies about you behind your back for the kicks? The reality is that yeah, there's a lot of messed up people out there, but most people are just doing the best they can to be decent people. The reason why it seems like there are so many of these stories is because nobody tells stories about how *normal* their lives are. These stories represent the worst out there, but aren't representative of the majority of cases. In other words, the choice is simple: do you want to be miserable by not trusting others; or do you want to risk being miserable but in all likelihood be happy if you trust them?
Story 1: im not Muslim (And frankly it doesn't matter for the story in my opinion) but isn't there a law or rule against stealing in their beliefs? Not to mention a law that the government decided on, saying stealing is wrong and you can get sued? The co worker broke the law, and his own beliefs. OP just helped karma get him. Story 2: My partner and I are both in RP servers with friends. We've talked about how we feel when it comes to those, especially when they become spicy. We agreed BEFORE we got into a relationship that it wasn't cheating since we had no romantic feelings, and if anything went to far, we'd tell each other. What OP's wife did was disgusting. You set boundaries FIRST.
Only a law against stealing if he's actually worried about being a Muslim. Since he's not, I don't see how it matters if he steals halal food. And yes, thievery is bad, regardless of religion or lack of it... however if your book says you should LOSE YOUR FUCKKNG HANDS FOR STEALING, and you do it anyways, you're not all that religious, or moral
@@hitmonkey2984 is the punishment right, no, however I feel like her tricking him to eat something he's allergic to, and then promptly telling him is a much better punishment then losing his hand! Also, I was mostly trying to point out his hypocrisy
@@Trisanite at what point did she say free food? There is no trick when it isn't his to touch. He's lucky she even said anything at all before he had a reaction. Still wouldn't be her fault, as she's the victim, and nothing will change that.
@@hitmonkey2984 she didn't. She knew he was stealing and decided "Well, I want something with peanuts. If he steals, oh well" I think tricked was the wrong word. I just don't know what else to use
2:31 The lesson I took away from this was, if I'm in that situation, I should have played dumb and not say anything. Maybe pop into HR and be like, "Hey, my lunch got stolen again so I'm gonna run out to grab some food."
Stories 2 and 3...so many of these sorts of stories come out, guys hear em, decide to check out of dating, and women wonder "where have all the good men gone?"
In story one the only thing you did wrong was tell Omar. Because warning him can make it seem intentional. Where is if you didn't warn him it's just an accident. Plus by getting the EpiPen early he avoided consequences for his actions. Otherwise he has to admit that he stole food AND admit he targets your food.
Story 1: NTA it's not your job to accommodate a thief pure and simple if op can find halal food omar surely can too. Also as someone who's lactose intorant it absolutely can kill if you injest enough because you have to extract it so to say becoming dehydrated.
Food story: OP should consult a lawyer and see what they say about the new requirement of allergens listed on private foods. If told that it can't be legally enforced, then OP should complain to HR about HR. Either that or have the lawyer contact the company's legal department so that the legal department can have a word with HR about the policy. Cheating: Wife said that the guy charmed her into a kiss. Then later said that it was her ego that caused her to kiss him. So yeah, her story changed.
First story: to clarify, I think OP was 100% in the right and within their rights to do what they did. However, there’s an easier solution: start labeling your food as containing peanuts even if it doesn’t. Then he won’t take it.
Last story: good thing her sister was of upstanding character. With such a lack of self control; if her sister didn't respond and tell her she messed up there was a good chance that she would have kept it a secret to save her marriage.
For OP#1 - 0/5 you did exactly right. Stealing is strictly haram as you noted, rSlash. When I worked at crApple's terrible prison complex in Elk Grove, CA, one of my coworkers was stealing my lunches. So one day I put a label on my lunch bag that read "MEDICATED FOOD INSIDE." I also labeled the container of what I normally call my "nuclear hot redrum chili" as medicated both on the lid and the container because I had put a sufficient dose for a 350lb person (my weight at the time). There was no way to miss it. when my lunch break came, I saw my container back in my bag completely empty. I suspected the person stealing my lunch was on one of the two prior lunch shifts (at that time the graveyard crew took three separate lunch breaks) but I didn't know who it was. About half an hour after my lunch break one of the short and skinny girls on the second lunch shift started groaning and did the "clench walk" to the bathroom on the opposite side of the facility. It was a 2 minute walk if you walked normally. You don't walk normally when you're leaking a snail trail down the leg of your jeans and onto the floor. During my lunch break I had taken photos of my lunch bag and the empty container, which clearly showed the "medicated" labeling. HR dragged me in, I showed the photos I had taken before I got to work and after, all date and time stamped, and they told me to not do it again. My response was, "Oh, so I'm not allowed to medicate MY food that only I should be eating? Sorry, that's not going to happen." There was a meeting the following Monday explaining that it's not good to take other people's food, and the thief never came back after the rather crappy incident. So glad I quit that garbage place after 4 months.
Story 1: I had to become the food thief because of a similar situation... Guy kept taking my leftover meals and leaving a sad sandwich he brought in for later. HR wouldn't do anything about it... Had to start take someone else's (random) food and toss it in the trash until the thief was gone. Clearly he was the food thief as the thefts stopped after he was fired...
If HR requires food labeling on homemade meals, they deserve to get paid for making & labeling said food. I will say its was insane to actually poison someone with allergic foods, but it didn't stop even after confrontation, what else can you do?
Maybe I’m just a psychopath but I wouldn’t have rushed to Omar, two can play the dumb game. “He swore it wasn’t him and he’s such a good Muslim that I believed him!!!” cue fake tears.
it’s so weird that people were accusing OP 1 of trying to kill her coworker. like, if that was actually the case she wouldn’t run over to him and let him know about the peanuts as soon as she realized. either way it’s her food. if you have deadly allergies you should especially not steal food from other people in the first place. he’s an adult, he has responsibility over his own life
1st story : The coworkers can all go to heck for being mad at OP for "targeting Omar" when peanuts are fairly common in food, it's why people with peanut allergies have to be so careful. The A-hole shouldn't have been stealing food. Honestly, I'd label EVERY meal as "May contain peanuts" from then on. Whether it contains them or not wouldn't matter. It MAY contain them and he'll have to roll the dice knowingly. Heck I'd probably buy 1k stick on labels that all say that to make it easier. And the Food Thief should absolutely have been fired for stealing from other co-workers. Stealing food is still stealing. Otherwise nobody on earth would pay at the grocery store. I'd ask HR why they allow theft from coworkers. If they try to downplay the theft I'd ask them "what happens if they steal ready made food from a grocery store?" then ask them how is this not the same as stealing money directly from a co-worker when you have to pay money for the food they're stealing.
What is it with these companies tolerating theft? It doesn't matter that the theft was food/someone's lunch. There was a food thief at a company where I worked (not in the USA) and the moment they had evidence of him doing it, he was fired (he was with us for one month).
It's so frustrating how many HR departments on reddit seem to totally ok stealing food. If I was OP, I'd start looking for a better job. If that's not possible, I'd just label my food "contains peanuts" every day whether there's peanuts in there or not. If Omar complains I'd remind him he's the one in the wrong here. If I want to have peanuts in my meal every day until I leave that job, it's well within my rights whereas Omar is 100% in the wrong for stealing my food. I'd tell him that there may or may not be peanuts in my meal today, but would he like to take that risk? If he calls my bluff and keeps stealing my food, I'll just start putting peanuts or peanut oil in there every single day.
First story: If I worked there once that new allergen label rule was implemented I would bring in some of my homemade chili and list all 50 ingredients used. No one would take the time to read that only to steal it later and consume napalm!
Story 3 - What a "prize" the guy she cheated with was! he is on a date, dumps them for another women flirting with him, doesn't care if he is helping her cheat, and then when told to stop he doesn't leave because he knows he can pressure her to continue. Don't get me wrong the wife is the worst in this situation but she sure chose a "winner" to lose her family too just saying...
I love when people say someone should stay with a cheater because "think of the family". They are! By leaving! Children can tell when their parents aren't happy. It's better to be happy and try to make it work co-parenting than risk becoming resentful and it affecting the kids.
"He said that I could have killed him" Yes, you could have. You could have just said nothing, gone back to your desk, and waited for him to drop dead. There's not a court in the world that would have convicted you for that. However, despite him stealing from you, you still did the right thing and alerted him to the danger. You saved this man's life from the consequences of his own stupidity and then he not only doesn't have the decency to apologize for stealing from you, he actually complains about it? What an utter douche.
Story 1: Coworker 100% is a better person than me, I wouldnt have gone to check on him I would have just let it run its course. "But you said you had no clue what happened to my food how was I suppose to know!?" Naah let him have his near death experience to not steal food again.
