That's the usual way it goes. Women feel entitled to the house. That said, if I were in his shoes I'd have left on my own. The kids need the house, and if he is working that much he can't tend to them. I'd have filed for divorce long before her 1 month wait though, and taken every bit of hotel stay payment out of her share of assests
Yeh I'm so fucking confused what SHE did wrong here?? He viotlated the shit out of her by sscretly filming her, amd she *checks notes* lay down*. Of course she kicked him out amd divorced him.
Wife has a drink problem, she doesn't drink every day, but it's still a problem if she does hurtful things when drunk, and still drinks. People think you have to be drinking whisky at 7am every day to have a drink problem.
This, people don't understand that alcoholism is not only possible drinking problem. And I say this as someone who used to have drinking problem. Didn't drink every day but drunk huge amounts. Because I was still funktional people Didn't see it as problem until I almost drunk myself to hospital.
Honestly, I think her drinking habits are not the main problem in this story. The problem is her opinion of what is cheating and her lacking of respect towards her boyfriend/husband. You can be a heavy drinker and not stick your tongue into other peoples throats. No idea why he thought, it'd be a good idea to marry her.
@@destinedtogame No, OP shouldn't have had a wedding at all. She automatically cheats whenever she gets drunk, someone who literally needs to be dragged to therapy just to stop a behavior that is blatantly bad, is not someone worth pursuing a relationship.
Funny part is, there are probably millions of guys who would totally be okay with that, so long as they got to watch. Like Granddad said, "One man's meat is another man's poison."
😭 bro first story.. why did OP stay with the cheating?! And then wanted to marry her?.. how was OP shocked that she once again cheated?! I’m sorry but like cmon OP-
I was thinking the same thing throughout the story. She kept doing it and showed no regard for OPs feelings. I don’t know what OP thought she brought to the table but he can do better.
Story 1 - Might be a wild thing to say, but being unfaithful is one thing. Being unfaithful at your wedding with your maid of honour? Thats like being cartoonishly evil unfaithful
@@julieann2454 When he reacts in the most expected way to your cheating on him, you get mad at HIM for “embarrassing you” like what the ever loving… god that’s INSANE!
Yeah, since she had all that free time, she probably had "friends" over. Of course, she would leave that out. Even disregarding that possibility, she probably left out that their workers complained to him.
@akl2k7 no no, she didn't leave out her friends. She did say that her friends backed her up (typical), so we know OP and their kids are basically alone in this.
Yeah she honestly seems either depressed or lazy. If lazy, she’s lazy. If depressed, she still needs to do something about it. It seems like she really doesn’t do much while the husband both works and is the kids favorite. He could have gone about it better, but she needs to admit she needs help and get it, or accept what’s coming
Story 3: there was an update where OP revealed that her daughters ears became infected after the piercing so she’s convinced they didn’t even get them professionally done. She’s definitely NTA
I'm betting that they'd gone to one of those mall kiosks with the free piercings if you buy earrings. Those are unsanitary and not very highly recommended anymore. Tattoo shops are where it's at because they use a stainless steel needle to pierce ears or any other body part. And they are sanitary. Unlike the ones in malls where they use a dull and plastic piercing gun, that actually HURTS the child. Got my upper ear cartilage pierced and felt nothing.
@@QuietChaos1996 I learned that lesson years ago. I got my ears pierced at Claire’s in the early 2000s and still have the keloid scar because either the 16 year old doing the piercing botched it or I had an allergic reaction to the fake silver earrings or a combination of both
When my mother had my sisters and my ears pierced, she took as to a professional who did everything by the book, yet my ears got infected anyway as I was allergic to silver. My mother hadn't known that, so yeah I had to wear my mothers gold earings until my ears were all healed up.😊
Kissing anyone of any gender is cheating. It’s clear that even when sober she knows what she did was wrong but doesn’t care. Of course we go to extremes but yeah, I hope he leaves her and finds someone who actually cares about his boundaries and loves him
“Kissing any one of any gender is cheating.” When I pointed that out, the other person said”it’s not like we having sex”. 🤨🤨?!?! Sorority girls must be built different 😂
In my opinion, what is considered cheating depends on the people in the relationship and their boundaries. For some couples kissing isn't cheating, for some it is. Since OP made it clear that he didn't want his gf/wife kissing other people, it was cheating.
I don't even need to finishing the first story, OP needs to annul this marriage asap. He has made it clear this is boundary to him and she is not respecting that. Also as fellow bi, it is little homophobic or at least dismissive to behive like it is cheating only when it happens with different gender
I'm bi as well and I totally agree. I've seen a lot of bi women who seem to think it only counts as cheating if you mess around with men, but if it's another woman it's just harmless fun. Cheating is cheating!
Story 3: They're not the kid's parents, OP and her husband are, so they have no right to pierce her ears. It's not about feeling pain, it's about boundaries
And they knew how OP and her spouse felt about this and chose to go behind their backs and get it done by someone likely not licensed or else they would ask for parental permission
It is also a health risk due to infections or accidentally ripping the earrings out (ripping the ear too). There is also an increased risk of developing metal allergies due to exposure.
piercing the child's ears like that is criminal, they can be charged for that. Doing something to another person's body without their consent is just wrong. The child should have been given the choice when she was old enough to decide for herself. I know someone who had their ears pierced as a baby and is angry about it as it left her with large uneven holes in her ears. It is mutilation to alter a child's body when they can't give consent whether it is piercing ears or circumcision.
@Ikajo not to mention that they probably didn't go to a good place to get them done. I had mine done at a Clairs with a gun, one of my piercings got infected despite using the stuff they gave me to clean it, and I always struggled to get my earrings in one ear. Also, getting the earrings done so young risks the holes becoming uneven as they grow
I'm not sure why Slashy has never heard of that before, lots of people "supervise" other's work... i.e. criticize and nitpick everything to death. Sometimes I think they have three or four "preferred ways" of doing things waiting in reserve, so no matter which way you choose, it's wrong.
OP was only an AH for not ending this so called friendship when she refused to say they were a couple. She’s shown where OP stands with her and it’s the sidelines
I'll correct you here, rSlash: "The only benefit basically of declaring someone officially boyfriend/girlfriend is that that means you can't sleep with other people anymore." - not necessarily, nor in case of getting married either. It is assumed with most couples, but then there is swinging, cuckolding, hotwifing, open relationships in general, plus there's polyamory. The couples (or polycules in the last case) decide each what their rules/boundaries are. But yes, it makes sense that the non-girlfriend must've been sleeping around. Or it's simply the status of being in a relationship. Kind of like the difference in a job title where your duties and pay remain the same. But if the non-girlfriend was sleeping around, she could've suggested an open relationship. After the OP decided to make out with someone else, he was in no place to judge her past non-misdemeanours, so her admitting to them would've been a non-issue.
Last story: from what i understand, organ donation is SUPER finicky. You have to have both the right blood type and have compatible organs, and even then the body can still reject the new organ. It's entirely possible, if not likely, that the sister is the ONLY person in the family who has both the right blood type and a compatible organ.
But it's also possible that the sister doesn't have compatibility. And the way this family seems to behave, they haven't even considered other option, cos in every family member's mind it's the sister's obligation, nobody else's. I expect a lot of pearl clutching if even a suggestion is made that maybe other people in the family should also get tested to donate.
Yeah, organ donations are really tricky. Basically, your immune system is trained to recognize your own "components". When you introduce a new organ, you introduce new "components". Your immune system recognizes these as not-self and attacks, leading to rejection. And indeed blood type is very important, but also (don't quote me, it's been a while) something called the Major Histocompatability Complex (or MHC for short). These are an important part of the immune system, but non-self MHC components trigger a strong immune response, thus rejection. And this MHC has A LOT of variation, quite quickly leading to people being not a match. So while it is true that the sister might have the highest chance of being a compatible donor due to having the same parents, it is definitely not guarenteed. And yes, I did just type this out because I felt like flexing my education (and because people might find it interesting of course😋)
You can literally tell the doctor in private that you don't want to be a donor and you are being pressured by your family to do it. They can't tell why you are not suitable because of they can't reveal information of you as then you are their patient. They would just say you were not a match and thats that. Nobody else is privy to your private medical information even if it would be just you refusing to be a donor.
@@Wezqu yes, I know. I'm just saying the reason they're insisting OP do it instead of one of them might be because they all know none of them are compatible.
@@annika5893 you are correct and it is extremely plausible she is not compatible. But it could be that the reason tbey insist OP does it is because they *know* no one else is compatible and don't know whether or not she is. That's all
Story 1: Who on earth told this woman that it doesn't count if it's with another girl? She definitely knows it's wrong because OP told her it's hurtful. She just doesn't care and uses not understanding as an excuse.
Story 2: The more I thought about it, there more I wonder how much is OP really doing besides the shopping on the first day of the month. It sounds like OP had the time to take care of the permission slip, so…
I also seriously wonder whether this is the first time something like this has been an issue, because immediately jumping to installing a camera seems very extreme, but if this is only the latest in a long line of similar instances, then suddenly it becomes a lot more understandable.
I'm actually reading a lot of ADHD in her behaviour. In women, it tends to look different and being easily distracted while feeling exhausted from small things are symptoms. She might need a diagnosis and medication to have better functioning life
@@Ikajo I thought exactly the same. This woman most likely has ADHD. Hopefully she can get a diagnosis so she can get out of the mentality she's put herself in
Story 2: OK no bias 1. OP has 3 teenage kids 2. OP says “we” missed a job she forgot to do 3. Husband fixed OP’s mistake 4. Husband brings up the problem to OP 5. OP doesn’t try to improve 6. OP is googling frozen meals for her family rather than really healthy homemade meals 7. Why would the first days of each month be especially stressful? 8. OP kicks her husband out of the home he likely paid for 9. Divorces her husband 10. Sure, the husband wasn’t perfect but he’s not as bad as OP 11. I didn’t even catch the part with the maids and landscapers 😂
I know she keeps making things worse for herself shes one of those people who follows the maid around and says no your doing that wrong do it this way like micromanaging everything sounds like the beginning to a malicious compliance story.
@@mysweetlyrobinIt's very weird, but is there a better option for him? Like if you wanted proof for confrontation, when you're obviously not there to witness yourself, what would you do?
@@mysweetlyrobinbetter that he did, OP is deluded enough she thinks her excuses would hold up with a divorce lawyer. His 'proof' could assist him in getting a fair return.
S1: I think it’s an annulment, but yea I would also leave she was told three times too many. I’d also tell everyone at the wedding why you’re leaving Sarah including her disrespect over the phone S2: its his house yet she kicked him out. Hope he takes full custody of the kids and divorces her. She clearly doesn’t give a damn unless it’s about money. Just friends: if they didn’t agree to be a couple then it’s fine but if they are bf/gf then OP cheated, doesn’t matter if they look more than just friend if it ain’t official it’s fine it just makes op look like a herk
8:53 I shop on the first myself, and it’s not subscription meal plans, I literally take ads from stores and compare prices… I CAN STILL SIGN A PEICE OF PAPER
Story 1: NTA, although OP should never have let the relationship get to the wedding stage. Story 2: YTA. Granted the husband wasn't exactly in the right, but it doesn't sound as though OP was pulling her weight as a SAHW with no kids at home during the day. Kicking the husband out was the icing on the cake. Story 3: NTA. Your parents violated your trust and boundaries. As well as that, they got your infant daughter body modifications without your permission. I think rSlash gave them too low a BH score. Story 4: NTA. If you're friends then there's nothing wrong with seeing other people. A bit petty, but absolutely nothing wrong with what OP did. Story 5: NTA. Your body, your rules. Nobody has any right to put something in, or remove something from, your body without your permission (except in the event of life or death, like if your appendix burst).
in relation to story 2. Quite frankly, unless the kids are homeschooled there is no such thing as a 'stay at home mom' while all kids are in education. That is called a stay at home wife, and those are generally just lazy bums. Being a stay at home mom requires kids to be around constantly, so they can be a mom.
@@miniman649 depending on the age of the kids, and if there are any pets around, this take can range from "harsh, but not inaccurate" to "utter delusion" generally leaning towards the latter I don't have kids, and I know they are messy, and that isn't something that just goes away with age it can lessen with age, but it doesn't really ever go away then there is the fact that we have no idea what transportation to/from school is here is like (what method, what distance, etc) then there is also how certain disabilities will result in kids being able to still go to school while also creating more work at home (ADHD is an amazing example) and to top it all of, THE KIDS GET HOME BEFORE THE FATHER IS ABLE TO PARENT IN 99% OF CASES you are making so many assumptions it isn't even funny you clearly have never been a parent on any level, let alone a stay-at-home one no...that isn't true, because I haven't and I still know better. wtf is your excuse? actually, don't answer that. keep the bullshit to yourself
Story one: NTA. That lady seems to be using drinking as an excuse. OP needs to leave yesterday. Story 2: YTA. While the husband is a little crappy for spying on his wife, his spying DOES prove a point And OP DIVORCED him for it? And all her comments disprove her arguments. Honestly, her divorcing OP is a good thing, now the husband can do better than her.
I spent a short stint as a HVAC grunt. Crawling into attics and crawl spaces requires work clothes not dry cleaners. I am not wearing a suit to fix your furnace.
Story 1 - I'm not even that far in, but neither is this marriage and she's not being faithful in the slightest! You need a new wife🤦🏿♀️Yup...Red Flag *_CITY,_* Sir!🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 Story 2 - Wow, just wow😳 Story 3 - *_WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEME?!?!?!?!?!?! anzkduejixkrkdkjdegf8eisnxnxnxkaoqosknd_* Yeah, that's *_soooooooooooooo_* disrespectful!!! Sure, they're the grandparents, but she's not *_THEIR_* daughter!😡😡😡😡😡 Story 4 - The heck did I just listen to?...😵💫 Story 5 - The title alone...I don't blame you💐💐💐Also, that's interesting to know (from the Comment story)
story 4: OP wasnt playing any games with that "friend" He literally tried on more than one occasion to make their relationship official it was the girl who said they were just friends so he got tired of it and found someone else. wtf rslash pay attention to what you're reading.
Story 2: at first I got mad at /rSlash for overlooking the camera thing, but then I started thinking... The camera wasan't at a private part of the house, it was at the living room, and since they have children and maids/landscapers I assume OP wouldn't be doing anything more "private" in that part of the house. And also, if it was OP that put in the camera to prove that her husband does nothing to help after getting home I wouldn't mind it... So at this point I don't even think the husband deserves an AH score from what OP says
Wtf ? Even if you’re on a public street if someone looks over your shoulder to see what you’re doing or record your whereabouts without your consent it’s still an invasion of privacy
@@oreotookie Well, do tell the solution in this scenario where you claim that you are doing 'SO MUCH', and won't accept that you are not in fact doing 'SO MUCH' no matter what is said to you. What is the solution here, how should the other party prove to you that you are not doing 'SO MUCH' as you claim? Is there really another way to present irrefutable proof to you that you won't be able to yap your way out of? Or should this situation just be accepted forever then, is that the solution? Or just go directly for divorce if it came to the point of having to show irrefutable proof to you, maybe that's the solution? Don't bother getting camera proof, just divorce and be done with it?
@@oreotookie It is kinda bad thing is if your husband did what OPs did he would be in the wrong because presumably your a good wife not shirking your duties and lying about it thats a false exivilency because he has no reason to spy on you but what would you suggest ops husband do to prove shes lying sticking a camera in the living room is harmless especially when he has a good reason in my opinion at most he deserved a 0.5
@@Etienne.6329 is a store owner having a camera in and outside of the store a violation of privacy? Because that more like what the husband is doing he putting a camera in a public place in his own property
The first story about op who got married is that he made a mistake by marrying a woman who prefers to kiss another women instead of kissing her own husband and he had every right to cancel their honeymoon vacation because of his stupid wife
I'm a SAHD for 3 small kids who are in daycare / school. My wife works overnights, so it helps with kids needing pick up and drop off and making food and all that. In reality, I also run all inventory, packaging, shipping, and logistics for our small online sales business, making around 1500 a month. If I forgot to fill out a form my wife would chew me out so bad. I'm listening to this while mopping the entire house because that's Thursdays.
Story 2: I gotta be honest, i don’t think the husband deserves a butthole score at all… Just based off of Op’ post and the way she writes its CLEAR how manipulative she is and how much she gaslights him. I think this was his last attempt to prove how lazy she is because anytime he brings it up and probably gaslights him. Naw Op is just a lazy person who doesn’t like that her husband PROVED that she does nothing all day. Also still struggling to wrap my head around the fact that SHE kicked HIM out… I hope that husband has a happy life away from Op.
To people who are confused about the check thing in Story 2, I think I can help clarify. Since the husband is the one sending out the checks, it implies that he is the boss, likely of a small business. And when I say small, I mean I have personally hired tradesmen whose business is entirly them and like 2-3 other guys. Idk HOW big his operation is ('high earner' is a bit nebulous because HVAC dudes can make BANK, depending on how mauch competition they have in an area), but small operations like that rarely bother with administrative assistants, accountants, etc, and just preferred to handle everything themselves to save money. Similarly, they probably aren't gonna be set up for direct deposit, hence the paper checks. As to rslash's question about the blue box drop off, oh HECK no! If you are mailing a physical paper check, especially for payroll, you go into the post office and get those things tracked and maybe even certified (I think that is the right word, my apologies if it is not). Why? Cause if the check is late or lost, you as a business owner want to be able to point to that tracking information so you don’t get freaking sued by the labor board. This is also realivant in the event someone who is NOT the intened recipient cashes the check. Then you can point to the same information when dealing with your bank and they can reimbursed you for the fraud. So, in summary, if you ever have to mail a check please GOD go into the post office and DO NOT just drop it in the box, especially if it is time sensitive, and doublly so as there have been an increase in reports of people breaking into said boxes to steal stuff. Edit: OR mail it from your house box, if it is not extremely time sensitive (lot of older people do this still with their bills). This is also okay, as it goes directly into the hands of a postal worker. But, if you do not feel your mailbox is secure, again, just go into the post office.
When I was looking into starting my own business, my wife was going to be my admin assistant (and HR, and payroll) until I could afford to outsource it or hire someone. But she had work experience with small business management software (that her employer was trying to make work for too large a business.)
I had a business like that. At least in the US, he should discuss his needs with a postal worker. Every branch I've used they will give you your own postal tray to take home. You can do all the tracking information at home through their website, print out the mailing label with tracking number and postage and then bring in your tray of mail with everything ready to go. You get to skip the lines, walk up to the teller who handles merchant mail and just hand them your tray, they hand you an empty one and you can leave. It takes seconds and they keep helping other customers with more complicated issues from the line without you needing to wait. At its peak I was mailing dozens of things, including packages and checks two or three times a week and the only time I had to wait in line was for international shipments, because they had to witness you signing the form declaring what what was in it.
Story 2: Bugging the house is bad, but I suspect some of her gaslighting may have driven him to that. It's not okay, just understandable. The checks is the big one for me though - She might be doing well with a husband who owns a business but employees *depend* on timely payments. If she agreed to mail the employee's paychecks she *must* do that, or people can be in real trouble, not to mention without employees her husband has no business and possibly lawsuits to ruin her little lazy life
Story 2: Op has such a victim mentality, and the husband isn’t wrong in the slightest, like what does Op actually do to the point she missed her daughters due date to sign a permission slip. 😂
It really doesn't sound like she does a whole lot. Maybe the camera was a bit much but he had to show her "look, you literally just lay around half the day. Do better."
I felt bad for her at first. I do think the hidden camera method was a bit of a dick move, but it seems justified with how she failed one child. The way she describes her issues sounds a lot like some sort of disorder - like depression or ADHD - which really would make administrative tasks more difficult. But my mom had undiagnosed and untreated ADHD with comorbid depression my whole life. She couldn't do everything the same way as other moms, but she would have died of shame if I had to get my dad to leave work so I could go on a field trip. She made a huge effort to work with her struggles and never dropped the ball like this. Plus when she did make a mistake, she would move heaven and earth to make it right and apologize sincerely. In the comments this lady brushed off anyone asking her to get help and played the me, me, me entitled victim card while describing her kids being negatively impacted by her behavior. She's stubbornly arguing with everyone instead of seeking any way to change. i understand the impulse but it makes her a gigantic, gaping a-hole.
For story 3, I'm pretty sure it's considered child abuse to pierce a child's ears without parental consent. You're literally causing physical damage for aesthetic purposes. Grandparents don't have that right, unless they're the legal guardians.
Sweet summer child, there are a lot of countries and cultures that have different opinions about this than where you grew up and live. The child's parents have the same opinion as you but the grandparents in the different country obviously don't.
How could OP not sign a permission slip? Sign it as soon as you get it and give it immediately back to your child. No one is too busy to put their signature on a piece of paper.
People need to get over themselves Donating a kidney is not like donating blood and there's permanent consequences. It's not a decision to be made lightly, and certainly not for someone who's spent their entire life showing you they don't deserve it Sucks to be the sister, but that's what she gets for mistreating people she will someday need
She admitted that she lies to her husband about "little things" and then lies in the comments, I think the "high earner" shit was just him telling her something like he pays maids and that's a lot of money and that she it doesn't really do anything, it just warps the information into something that makes herr lazy excuses less important than the fact that her husband is a toxic male stereotype. She seems like the type to pick up a shoe and that's organizing the closet for her. 
Story 2: it takes 2 seconds to sign a piece of paper, lady. Then your husband had to get off of work to go to the school and remedy your mistake so your child doesn’t have to suffer their consequences. My mom was a single mother, she still made time to sign papers I needed to have her sign for school trips and whatever else.
Story 1: That is more or less exactly how my marriage ended with the added joy that I had paid for everything from scratch, car, house, furniture.... and with my two suitcases flew back to Sweden with all my lifesavings depleted. I had to move back to my parents as a 35 year old and it took me 2 years to build up something near a life/career that I had before.
STORY 2: ESH but we need more information. First of all, rslash mentioned how the husband was being combative and inappropriate but also was very quick to dismiss it. Without additional information, I think 2/5 at least was fair for the husband. If someone ever secretly watches me while I’m home to browbeat me about being on my phone, I’ll lose my mind. Rslash assumed that because the mom was looking up subscription meal services that she doesn’t cook, which first of all, for something like Hello fresh, you do still cook stuff when it gets to you, they just pre-portion things and prep them. Also some people supplement their fully prepped meals with that to give them a break some nights. So it kind of depends, plus it could’ve been that she was looking for special meals specifically for her ballerina daughter simply so that she wouldn’t have to cook two different meals each day. Plus she may prep the kids lunches. Not everyone buys it at school, and not everyone just takes sandwiches and carrots/chips Also, when it comes to the cleaning, she did say the cleaning service does a “deep clean” in addition to her regular cleaning. For all we know that could be a once a month thing, and some things do need to be cleaned every day/weekly. Dishes and laundry for a family can get crazy. Especially if she’s cooking breakfast which Rslash seemed to forget is a thing for some people. Everyone’s saying OP is lazy, but we really don’t know. She does need to take some accountability for letting stuff slip, which is of course easier to do if someone’s not berating you and making you want to dig your heels in.
There are a fair amount of these stories. Even some where the OP explained to the doctor that they are forced to get tested but the doctor still tests them and reveal that they are a match. Hope those docs get sued
Last I remember was an r/nuclearrevenge story, where op's brother was basically a monster golden child who outed his own brother and got him kicked out and abused him when they were younger, then had the gall to request op give him a kidney cause both of his were shot
It's only cheating if your partner isn't fine with it. That being said, OP made his feelings very clear, set firm boundaries- and she stomped all over them in public at the wedding reception.
Story 2: Op kicking the dad out of the house HE PAYS FOR is insane. If she has a problem, she can couch surf for a bit, not kick a man out of the house he pays for, pays to maintain, etc
The second story, at first I was like "Oh, what a distrusting husband, putting up a camera to spy on his wife." and then as the story went on it turns out SHE is the one planting all the seeds of distrust. She can't get tasks done in time, and she hovers over people to make sure they perform to her satisfaction? That's projecting if I ever saw it, she is fully aware that she has a weakness and she is deflecting and denying instead of working on it. I got a female roommate (I'm male) at a point in my life. My friend was in need of help so I let her stay with me, and suddenly two other female friends approached me, independant of each other, and went "I thought we had something and now another girl is moving in with you?" and they broke our firendships off. I was so baffled at that point. Yes, we were friends, but not with benefits or anything. We just hung out and had good times. Both of these girls were in other commited relationships when I got to know them, I had seen their types and I knew I wasn't it, but somehow, me letting another girl move in with me suddenly disqualified me as a friend. I felt like I was their backup partner or something. Anyway, on the just friends story, I am not the right guy to comment since apparantly two girls were interested in me and I knew nothing
2nd story: woman is lazy. She definitely has more time to spare than that. But as for supervising the maids/landscapers, I think that might be different from wherever you are. Sometimes you have to make sure they don't try to swipe small valuable things off your tables and whatnot especially if its not a live-in maid.
My area removed the blue boxes bc they kept getting broken into BUT ALSO, we wouldn't send checks or escrow statements through them (as a financial institution) due to the frequent thefts before they took the blue boxes away.
Story two. I'm sorry "I didn't send out the checks for my husband's employees" Ma'am. You aren't a stay at home mom, you are one of your husband's employees and you can get him in trouble FEDERALLY if he doesn't pay his employees on time. There should be two golden rules of the internet Don't fuck with IT And don't fuck with Payroll. "I forgot my kids permission slip cause the beginning of the month is so hectic!" Sign it then. It's not hard.
Why do I get the sneaky suspicion that the landscaping and landscaper that she supervises is not supervised outside but inside while he is landscaping her bushes. Also on the check mailing question: I think they mail them directly from the post office to get the tracking option and that the employee has to sign for it to confirm that they have received the mail. Thats how my friend told me they get their paycheque so that the employees can’t say that it never got to them.
Last Story: NTA, OP. It's YOUR kidney, NOT THEIRS! If you don't want to donate your kidney to your obviously entitled brat of sister, that is your right. And the fact the NO ONE in your family has ONCE tried to stop the sister from constantly bullying you, it honestly says a lot! " Sister dearest " is the obvious Golden Child who can " do no wrong " in the family's eyes. I'm with R/Slash, if the family is soooo concerned for OP's sister, then THEY CAN DONATE A KIDNEY TO HER! As he said before, " THEN YOOOUUU DO IT!!! " Though, I'll say R/Slash is going a bit too easy on OP's family. If the family has enabled this behavior from the sister, and not once done NOTHING to stop it, they are just as horrible as OP's sister. The sister AND the family who are enabling the horrible behavior, and pressuring OP, get more than 5/5 buttholes! OP gets a rock solid 0/5.
Exactly. What OP should do is tell the doctor they're being threatened, bullied, harassed, and emotionally manipulated to donating a piece of their body that they don't want to. And the doctor will tell the family that they are uneligible to be a donor. The reason why they go to the sibling first cuz siblings generally tend to be the most able to donate. But you are never not ever under any obligation to donate any part of your body, even if it's just your hair. As someone who has long red curly hair that looks like Meredith from the Pixar movie, I have been asked to make wigs many times. Absolutely not.
Second story, I’m surprised by what the woman is focused on… maybe it’s my own bias, but I’d be very scared and hurt if I found out my partner had hidden camera in the house to monitor me.
The earrings thing hits close to home. My grandfather did the same thing to me as baby. My mom cried because she felt like she missed out on a moment to see me get my ears pierced for the first time. My dad was angry because it was done at a claires lol. Ever since I heard the story I take my mom with me every time I get new piercings. I have about 14 now. It's not only overstepping but your stealing a possibly important moment for a parent.
BRO. The grandparents in Story 3 deserve 4/5 at least, not only for going behind their daughter's back but for forcing body modifications on a 1 year old. That's not something any reputable piercer would even consider doing, which makes you wonder where they got it done and if they even had the proper tools/sanitary procedures. Sketchy af! Stop punching holes into babies and get them some freaking clip-ons!
Couldn't agree with you more. As somebody who's mother pierce. My ears is a child and I've grown to hate them. I couldn't agree with you more. You shouldn't modify someone's body until they're old enough to consent. Unless it's for a medical reason. But for vanity because that's all getting your ears pierced is is vanity. Don't do it. If they want it when they're older then take them and let them get it. But until then don't make that decision.
Ngl with our culture (im mexican idk if all hispanics pierce their kids ears so soon) we dont go to “reputable” places. Most of the time we go to malls or flea markets
@@Heyxtre That's even worse. So they're going to a place that's probably not sanitary and nursing holes through their child's ears. A child that's so young. They don't have a immune system yet. That's even worse.
They are the grandparents who will think a peanut allergy or something similar is just a bunch of poppycock because "when you were kids blah blah blah". I'm glad the parents see the grandparents' behavior as something they need to protect their kids from.
Story 4: Yeah, I thought the same exact thing when Dabney said it seemed like they were 19. That seems like high school drama not being able to articulate your relationship status to each other. When I was young back in the 90s there were so many different distinctions. They are "going out," they are exclusive, they are going steady, or they are "just together." It was hard to tell what was what. Yeah, the lady said they were just friends. Unless she was making a sarcastic joke every time, that does give the impression that you don't want to be in a relationship or at least have the relationship known to others. Either way it's a red flag. Can't blame him for doing that after she repeatedly told him they were just friends.
The First story reminds me of Maureen from Rent, who was a giant flirt even at her wedding. As for the Fourth story, that reminded me of Tina from What I like About You, after she claimed that her boyfriend, Todd, was her "Special friend" in front of him and he broke up with her over not calling him her boyfriend after they went out more than enough times to say that they were official, and he canceled a ski trip in the process.
About the Kidney. I love it when rSlash says to the extended family. "OK! Well, Then You Do It!"....you had me laughing myself silly when you were talking about the delusional couch lady!
Well, our sibling is generally tends to be the best match for a living donation. But the fact of the matter is if OP doesn't want to donate their organs or their hair or anything that's part of their body to anyone else No reason is a legitimate reason not to do it. But when you look at the research that's been done on kidney donors, it's It's definitely a good reason to not want to donate. They have a shorter lifespan they can contract kidney problems and liver problems. A lot of times they can end up needing a kidney themselves. It's not something you should do lightly under duress threats blackmail or bullying. Or emotional manipulation. What OP should do is go to the doctor. Tell the doctor what's happening that They are being bullied harassed. Threatened in blackmail to donate and they're not comfortable with donating. The doctor will tell the family they're not a match. Or they're not eligible to donate.
Story 1: right you embarrassed her, so what is the bride openly cheated on the groom during the wedding in front of everyone. You embarrassed her far more by being angry and walking out after repeatedly explaining more than you should have needed to why making out with other people counted cheating for you. She saw crying and begging didn't work, so she switched to victim blaming to guilt you into staying. Plus that way she doesn't have to learn anything and knows she can just keep doing that every time she cheats on you.
Story 4: no it doesn't sound like a healthy relationship, yes they do sound childish, and frankly I don't see why they're still in a relationship. If you can't make a commitment to someone and constantly tell people the two of you are just friends, then you don't get to be mad when that person decides oh we're just friends with benefits so I'm going to go out and look for someone else. And no it wasn't obvious that you were more than friends because she kept making it clear you were just friends. That's like someone justifying never saying I love you to there SO because it's obvious, I mean sure maybe it is but it wouldn't kill you to say it once in awhile. Except in this case it's like saying "I love spending time with you" .
Second story: I’m shocked that rSlash is apparently perfectly fine with a partner setting up hidden cameras in their home to secretly record his loved ones to collect ammunition just so he can win arguments. That’s sooooo creepy, invasive, and malicious. That he finds that worse than a moment of forgetfulness on the part of OP is deeply concerning.
Story 2: I’m a stay at home mom. I work every other weekend 2 12.5 hour shifts in a lab. I worked full time even all the way through my pregnancy and with my second baby. I was a full time student before that and for a year and a half I was a stay at home mom with my oldest. I’ve been on all ends of the spectrum. I am going to be honest right now and for me personally staying at home is easier. By 1pm when I work I’ve hit 10 hours of standing, I always hit my 10,000 step plus by the end of the shift and I’ve usually had to argue with somebody more than once, and run a lab for a whole hospital and ER while something is broken. My breaks I take to go pump for my youngest. I’d rather have my kitchen clean, change diapers, cuddle my babies and be at home in my pjs and homeschool than be a work. And this is a job I picked, and went to school to do. I also grocery shop, clean the house, cook 99% of our meals and often from scratch, teach my 5 year old and still get up at night with my 8 month old and work prn, and I don’t have landscapers or any help cleaning. There’s no reason to not have a paper done on time than procrastination and maybe honest forgetfulness. I don’t pretend being at home is as labor intensive as my husband who works in the woods as a logger who comes home with wood chips, grease and mud all over him. Running a house does take a lot of work and there’s no shame in having help, and yes there’s emotional aspects of it that can’t be put into amounts, but be honest in that you probably do take breaks more often than your husband. And yes looking up meal plans in my opinion is kind of a break.
Story 2: The fact that Dabney gave the husband such a low score despite spying on his wife makes me worry that Dabney spying on his wife without her knowing. 😂
Payroll checks generally need to be certified or at least tracked for business insurance and labor law liabilities. You can only do that at a post office or by intercepting a "rural rout" courier at you mailbox. If you live within borough limits or just outside them, you likely aren't considered a "rural route" and your courier doesn't have the same permissions as a post master.
Hey! Something I can speak on! For the last story, I am someone who actually HAS stage 4 Chronic Kidney Disease brought on by kidney failure as an infant. The OP in the last story is completely right! Why give your kidney to someone who clearly doesn’t value you as a person? If I bullied someone I wouldn’t then expect a KIDNEY from them!
I'm a stay at home mom and had 2 WHOLE permission slips to fill out this morning!! Omg I'm beat! 😅 idk if I can even muster the strength to pack my husband's lunch for his 12 hour shift 😂😅😂
Having an infant's ears pierced counts as child abuse in my book. Regardless of the expressed wishes of the parents. Does Mexico have laws that prohibit such behaviour?
The ability to speak does not make one intelligent. In a world where infant males are curcumcised for mostly aesthic and cultural reasons, and without anesthetics, your statement is so ludicrous it reaches plaid levels.
Camera Story: For the blue mail boxes, they are a big target for theft. If you have anything important such as checks you are mailing out, yes, you definitely want to go to the post office. This is true even in small cities/towns.
1:44 Dude....if she's stressing you out that much and it takes that much communication to get the point across of "don't kiss other people because that's cheating" then that's a big red flag and you never should've put a ring on it.
You can put mail in the blue boxes but i also know around my city the postal service is getting rid of some of those blue boxes because people keep breaking into them. So some places you do have to go into the post office and sometimes it's just kind of more reassuring to actually go inside because at least you are handing it to somebody. Things still get lost either way or stolen but sometimes the extra reassurance are just going inside and doing it is nice.
Story 2 is about the mental load, to keep track of when and what needs to be done in a home: laundry, what everybody eats, when the house gets cleaned, etc. SAHParents are basically project managers and the home is their project. You wouldn’t say a project manager does nothing even though they don’t physically do the project. They seem to be well off to pay people to do these things, but still you need someone to keep track of everything and that’s work (not grueling work, but still work). The husband is micromanaging the wife and the wife slacks as a project manager. I’ve been in the position where my partner didn’t have a job and slacked massively at home, but it never crossed my mind to put cameras to see what he’s doing all day, so I’d venture to say the husband is insufferable and expects her to be more servile, eager and humble. If I were their therapist I’d recommend the wife to get a job and share the managing of the home 50/50 with the husband. That way they both get a taste of each other’s lives. If that doesn’t work, divorce.
Story 2: Both sides are the AH. Secretly recording someone to prove they're lazy is going too far. I've heard of people following maids and landscapers, but that feels like she's worried they're going to take something or miss something in their work. A bunch of her other listed tasks feel kind of silly, but I do wonder if the wife has diagnosed ADHD. It sounds like she has a lot of trouble with tasks that this would cover, especially being overwhelmed with things and thinking of things, memory issues, and getting distracted over everything. So while it may not seem like a lot to other people, her brain would struggle with administrative tasks on the daily basis if this were true. And if she's not? Yeah. Lazy.
S2: How did OP miss the due date to sign the permission slip. They take like 5 minutes at most. A kid could do it 😂 (for legal purposes, Im joking) S4 Gf: "We are just friends" OP: *sleeps with someone else* GF: *surprise pikachu face*
I am also a SAHM with an 8 month old. And even with a young child who need lots of attention, 4 dogs, one of which just had 7 puppies, and I cook and clean. I STILL have a ton of down time.
On that last story, i somewhat disagree with your take. This isnt a "why doesnt anyone else in the family do it?" situation. Its very likely that no one else in the family has a compatible kidney. When put that way, and not wanting their daugther/sibling/whatever to die, its understandable for them to be somewhat pressuring OP to do it, she may be literally the only chance her sister has to live. That said, the OP is NTA for wanting to refuse. So i think its more of a NAH situation.
I disagree. It is their whole attitude towards OP. The sister could go on dialysis and can survive a long time without a transplant. They could also take part in a transplant chain to get bully sister a kidney. They just want to cut corners so "Bully Sister" can get back to a normal life. Yes dialysis can suck a little bit (I know as I am on dialysis and waiting on a transplant). But it takes time. You also have to play by the rules. I would question what brought on the kidney disease as well. My entire family knows I need a transplant and I refuse to ask for one from them. If they want to volunteer - great, but I will not even think about pressuring them - that would be just wrong for me to demand a body part like that!
my niece told my sister she wanted earrings. niece is 4. they took her to an actual puercing shop. its honestly great for me, cause i pick out cute, unusual earrings that she loves. this yr? earrings and a book
Story 2 feels like something is missing. I feel like there might be more to the story. If the kids do ballet and have food sensitivity then there is a shit ton of work that goes into that. I would love to hear more.
Yeah, that story probably misses the long line of similar incidents that preceded this one that I'm gonna guess OP left out. Installing a camera over a single issue is very extreme, but if that is after repeated problems and him trying to communicate this but her denying it, then suddenly it becomes a bit more logical.
Story 5 is an easy NTA, from what OP said the Sister was clearly the favourite child and now she's sick OP is seen as just spare parts for the Sister, Run OP cut off all contact with your family because if they didn't help stop the bullying when you were a child saving your Sisters life will only make them treat you even worse because you will have committed yourself (in their eyes) to being just spare parts for her when they want them.
The ears piercing one. I'm latina and most girls get their ears pierced after being born. People just asume you have to do it. Even they do that in the hospital. That being said, you CANNOT pierce another person child, even if you are family. A hospital got in trouble for assuming the parents wanted to do it. I, personally, hated having my ears pierced because the holes got infected constantly and was too young to do anything about it. I did not got better until I was 7. What the grandparents did was a huge deal and a break of trust, no matter what others say. Not the butthole.
I don't think you should mutilate your child's body. And yes, that's what getting them pierced is putting giant holes through their air is mutilation unless they're old enough to consent. I have pierced ears. I hate them. They are ugly. They have a stretch mark in them. I've let them grown over now. They're constantly getting infected. My mother did it when I was really young and I hated them since I was a child. And yes 100%. I would consider circumcision genital mutilation. Quite honestly if it's not for a medical reason and only for vanity because that's the only reason you get someone's ears pierced. You shouldn't do it to them, until they're old enough to consent.
Same opinion. OP is not the AH because she is the mother. Period. However...my family is of Dominican heritage, all 4 girls got our ears pierced by 6 months. It is not necessity, but done for aesthetic reasons (and convenience) However... it is not anywhere as painful or traumatic as another form of body modification peformed on boys. 95% of the time, for aesthetic or cultural reasons not therapeutic, as advocates for that brutally barbaric procedure insist. Its odd how people who don't think twice about what is done to baby boys insist pierced ears on babies is low-class or sexualizing them. I've lost count the number of times Anglo Americans have said whenever I tell them pierced ears on babies are the norm for Latinas. At 18 I got two more piercings in the bottom lobes, and the pinches hurt no more than having blood drawn with a syringe. On a pain scale of 0 to 10 it was 0.66. However OP caused her daughter's ear infection because she took the earrings out too soon, as taking them out caused the hole to scab. She should have left the studs in for the holes to heal. After that, then take out the earrings and it would close with new healthy skin, if earrings are never put it again.
@@minakat369 Wow, way to victim blame. I guess I don't know, because I don't have ears, but how can you be sure they just weren't pierced in unsanitary conditions? It seems like any shop that would pierce a kid young enough to be a granddaughter without checking anything, wouldn't use surgical steel or sterilize their equipment.
@@Wendy_O._Koopa I said Mom was NTA. Abuela was. Abuela pierced her grandchild's ears in secret in defiance of mom's wishes, acting out of pride, not love for the baby. It used to be a given that no one cares more about a child than his or her parents (these days, I'm not so sure). While I disagree with mom's extreme disgust over pierced earlobes, the girl is her daughter. Mom doesn't want it for her kid because she views it from the standpoint that it is harmful to her child. I disagree based upon my personal experience and familiarity with 100s of women with similar experience. But my experience is not mom's, she has her reasons and a right to them, as well the right to choose for her child what she deems is best. I just don't see piercing a baby's earlobes as abuse, when in this world there are far more wicked things done to children, and many with majority public support. However I know that piercings done without the child's consent goes agqinst bodily autonomy. Every human has a right to their own body. So if a bill were proposed to ban piercings for persons under the age of 13, allowing no more than 2 (1 in each soft lobe), until the age of 18, I would not advocate against such a measure. What I oppose is the sentiment that pierced ears on a child is inherently primitive or sexual in nature. That is a mean-spirited and myopic view, when, again, there are far worse things committed upon children, and worst of all, seen as benevolent.
@@minakat369 Sorry, I should have specified. That was _specifically_ about the line "OP caused her daughter's ear infection because she took the earrings out too soon" and then I listed other possible reasons for the infection. I probably should have acknowledged that you also recognized that she was _not_ the AH in this situation...
