open.spotify.com/show/3hJo9o8... Patreon: / rslash Discord: / discord 0:00 Intro 0:11 Addiction 14:55 Family problem "Sneaky Snitch" Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com) License: CC By Attribution 3.0
I firmly believe that if your spouse threatens you with divorce to manipulate you, you should just divorce them. Before we got married my wife and I discussed what we thought was grounds for divorce and that was one we agreed on.
The only thing my wife and I agreed on was "one strike and you're out". If either one of us has an affair, that's it. Over 25 years later, we're still married.
Addiction is absolutely wretched, vile, painful and heartbreaking. 💔 I’ve lost by big sister and big brother to addiction. I’m 53f and I’ve outlived my siblings. It’s gut wrenching. My husband came clean last year with his addiction. I don’t drink or take medication (except aspirin for a heart condition.). I’m absolutely gutted from this story. Suicide leaves the survivors with a pain that is indescribable and survivor guilt. That’s how both my siblings died. Their pain was so intense that we couldn’t help even though we tried. I help others now with the grieving process after the loss of a loved one by their own hand. I start with this description of the process: Think of your loved one as a rock thrown in the middle of a pond. The ripples coming from that rock are those affected. I believe this is the same for addicts and their loved ones. 💔🙏
@@Sorchia56I truly understand this.. my boyfriend is in rehab right now for alcoholism and it’s tough but it takes a man to do the right thing and I’m happy after years of abuse he finally understood that he needed help. ❤
@@Danella-iq2kl That’s wonderful to hear! I’ll keep all of you in my prayers. It’s a rough ride but it can be done and everyone comes out better in the end! 🙏❤️🤗
Her "Horrible" husband calling the ambulance the MOMENT he noticed she OD'd, and saving her life, versus her horrible, misandrist, drug dealing friend leaving her to die on her couch? Shows she should have NEVER gotten back in touch with that ""friend"" who wanted nothing more than to destroy a happy family
Luckily there are stories where that threat awas made reality. Signed divorce papers to threaten the spouse? The spouse pretends to go against it.. then holds the papers in secret and when the "Divorce threatener" was gone... Run through the divorce, take your stuff and go.
The thing is, he didn't use it as a manipulation tool. He gave her two options of what would have to happen to change how toxic of an environment she was making it.
Addiction is an illness. Cheating is a character flaw, and a choice. And the husband is NOT responsible for his wife’s OD. She decided to continue to use drugs, even after she had been in treatment where she had access to support and counseling. A sad, but all too common story about drugs and the damage they cause.
Yes. It is the person that has to choose and to make their own decisions. If someone is already resigned to the inevitable, it can be so hard for them to find the light.
@@MasenkenOn top of that she wasn't clueless about what that kind of lifestyle does to a person, it sounds like her own mother was an addict. So she really chose a garbage person, drugs, and cheating over her husband and kids. The only sympathy I have is for those boys and OP.
@@ladyvee2090 exactly. The longer the story went the more my sympathy for her just nosedived to 0. It absolutely bodies my mind to be educated and live with someone who struggled with addiction and know how it messed them up and yet you STILL choose to go be a moron, thinking of literally nothing but yourself. She had a choice, she had living examples, she knew the consequences and STILL did it. Quite literally, good fucking riddance
I have 1 minor complaint. I understand that when reading you can mess up words every so often. And usually they are minor and not worth a note. But when you change "drifting", disconnecting emotionally, with "drinking", habit of consuming alcohol, those who only listen will get a much different picture. Even if you try and make it seem that way by adding the additional words after smoking. It's doing this man a disservice, he went through enough.
Oh wow I’m so glad I saw your comment!! I’ll do my part to boost it because yeah, drifting is what he typed. Plus he made more statements about the smoking which means that’s the worst of the old self destructive behavior coming back. What a relief.
Ty. I was only listening and was sad to hear he was drinking. I finished what I was doing and started reading the comments and that's to this comment chain I went back and checked @@djkb125
I love cheating clauses in pre-nups. A friend of mine, who was cheated on has said that that the next time she gets married. Her's will basically say "if you cheat: all you get is the clothes on your back" After reading story after story on Reddit. I definitely agree.
LOL My neighbor (who got totally screwed over by his ex) says as many do "If I ever get the urge to get married again, I'll just find some woman I hate and give her half my stuff."
If I do find someone I want to get married to Id include that and all the stuff I bought with my own money being spread around to my friends if she cheats (I dont think I can handle being cheated on again without killing myself because I damn near did last time and Id want my stuff to go to my friends who i know wont destroy anything and will actually enjoy it)
Just wow, this dude in the primary story -- you are NOT: responsible, at fault, in control of her bs antics, in control of her bs habits. SHE is 100% at fault, you're taking and continue to take her crap, feel bad for her, do not feel bad about your role or how your kids feel. SHE DID It.. SHE DID IT TO HERSELF. And as the story went...yeah, she's dead, her behavior killed her, not you. There was no coming back from it rehab or not, I wouldn't have given her what you did trying to assist that former hot mess.
For the addict story, this is 100% on HER. She let a toxic person worm into her head to make her feel like her spouse should be a SLAVE to her. She got her wish and then threw a fit when it turned out having a house-slave while being unemployed yourself means giving up on luxuries because the other person will not have time to make the money they used to. She chose to cheat. She chose to take substances she doesn't need in order to avoid living her own life. (where did she even get the money?) And then when she was found out and it all came crashing down around her, her first action was to be selfish AGAIN by attempting to take herself out of the scenario where she'd need to change and take accountability for her actions. And then when saved from that selfish fate and shown just how much support she would have to pick herself up, what did she do? She went back to the easy route out of needing to face life. And this time permanently. Honestly, I do not blame the eldest son for feeling the way he did. His reaction of anger and disgust at what the person who was supposed to live for them did to them is completely justified. The OP is underreacting and being far too soft on it all. OP, if you ever read this: That woman was selfish and self-destructive and did not care that she dragged all who relied on her and/or cared about her own into darkness with her. NOTHING you could have done would ever have been enough because all she cared about was herself. Do not blame yourself as if you drove her to anything. You are a victim of hers. Your children are victims of hers. Your children were not 'everything to her' anymore. They might've been in the past but they weren't anymore. If they were, she would not have wrecked her life like this, if they were, she would have picked herself up for them after she was given chance after chance. She chose to abandon them when she took those pills. Every single time she took the pills she chose to abandon her life and all in it. And when she took the pills after returning from rehab deliberately to end things, she chose to tell all of you that avoiding her own misdeeds was more important than those kids. More important than your love. Just keep that in mind, because knowing that is why the eldest son is angry at someone who is no longer here.
As a recovering addict (5 years in recovery) I get how she got there- up until the last update. When you’re using like that, there is a part of you that truly believes you need to keep using to survive, even if you know that’s not true, logically. There’s another part of you that hates that first part of you, and feels crushing guilt and shame, and wants to self-destruct to kill that. When someone tries to help you get clean, sometimes you fight to keep “surviving” by using. It becomes so much a part of you, and you’re so completely unable to function without it, that you literally feel like your existence is being threatened. So I get how she got there in the first place. That said, she got help. She got clean. And she went back to it. I’ve been there too, but that doesn’t mean it’s unavoidable. Its not. But it is hard once you first get clean- your brain chemistry is completely altered, and the only remedy is time. But that takes months and years- and you’re used to “solving” your problems instantly, with drugs. I know far too many people who are dead now because of similar choices. Drug use is a choice, 100%. Addiction is not. But almost nobody thinks their use is going to turn into addiction. Most people don’t start it thinking “should I try this, get addicted, and die of an OD in a couple years’ time?” Nobody expects that. They think they can handle it, and they’ll realize if it starts getting into addiction territory. For everyone out there- once you realize you might have a problem, it’s already too late. Addiction is insidious, above all. It will sink its claws into your life, and your mind, long before you recognize that that’s what’s happening. I once took a month off drugs, while I still was able to, in an attempt to curb my use. Didn’t want to get addicted… lol. I made it through a month, and went twice as hard when the month was up. Picked right back up where I left off, and then some. Just don’t do it, at all. It’s not worth it. You might be surprised how quickly your life turns into this story, otherwise- because I’m sure she didn’t start thinking it would end up like this.
First story: Addiction is messed up and as a former addict, she needs help. Also, for her "friend" to be feeding falsehoods that she's right and her husband is "abusive" and she's cheating is RIDICULOUS!!! OP is not at fault and as long as you love those boys, it's okay.
OP should've left her and the other man's kids the moment she mentioned divorce the first time. Dude was a total simp. She never respected him, she was just using him. You can't just blame her friend for her own choices. She was never a good person, she just had him fooled.
@Dog_in_tree you can blame the friend, she supplied the wife and didn't even want to call an ambulance? She's a horrible human and was definitely to blame as well as his wife
@@MaggieT548 yes, they were both horrible people, that was my point. You can't blame the wife's actions solely on her friend. I don't blame my dealer for my addiction.
For the first story something similar happened to my cousin. He got mixed up with the wrong crowd and did drugs before going to rehab. His girlfriend at the time had been the one to do drugs with him, they broke up before he went to rehab. After he was clean and got out he hung out with their same friend group and got mixed up with her again. A week or so later he died from an overdose. His girlfriend and her new boyfriend had been the ones to deal him the drugs that led to his death. They were charged with murder and arrested. I wasn't allowed to go to his funeral. His dad didn't want anyone to see him and sadly we haven't heard from him since.
2nd story: She's a boy mom. I knew it when she hated her own daughter and loved her "baby boy". If I was op I would tell him the reason why and see if he could put distance between him and the terrible family members. If he can't do that then we can't be together!
Story 2: Yeah, I don't think he will ever accept the fact the mom is actually toxic. He doesn't even want to listen to OP's true reasons. As for Mia, good on her to run away. It won't change things for the family, but maybe Mia will end up with a much better life than them and make them jealous as a petty revenge. Like, Mia ends with a better life, the family suddenly stops treating her as a black sheep (because I see them being those kinds of people), and she just rejects them with something like "NOW you actually want to be nice to me? Where was this in the past? Nope"
Golden children come in two flavors, and he's the kind of never believing their narcissistic parent is a bad person. He's been indoctrinated since childhood, no way he's ever going to see the light unless there's a huge paradigm shift... And even them it seems he's not going to.
Let's get one thing straight for the first story, the woman did NOT love her kids. Someone who actually loved their children would never subject them to that, drugs or not.
She never loved her husband either. She was just using him. She had him fooled for a while, but she was never a good person. A good person can't be talked into becoming evil by a friend.
Seriously. This is reflected by the husband relapsing for a single night and in the morning instantly dumping the alcohol because he is the one that truly loved those kids even though they weren't his blood, and didn't want the kids to have both parents spiraling. THAT is some serious iron clad will power that should absolutely be praised.
@@LucasTheOnion she was using him to pay her bills and raise her kids. The fact that she had kids with some other guy then started using him like that tells me she doesn't know what love is.
I hate that the minute OP said wife was quiet and nodding along, I immediately knew she was going to die. Addiction and depression are horrible bedfellows, but they tend to get together more often than they should.
Story 1: So I've heard this story before, and I've left a comment about how the "friend" ruined everything, and I got replies about how the now-dead wife had multiple chances to leave the "friend," but never took them. Why didn't she leave? Was the "friend" so manipulative that she not only turned the late wife against OP, but also acted like her rock to the point that the wife struggled to leave? We'll probably never know, but what is clear is that the wife DID have a choice to better herself and put behind the "friend," but chose not to
She was always a horrible person. The friend can't be blamed for it all. She didn't love or respect her husband in the slightest. She used him as a wallet and a substitute father. Dude was a total simp for a misandrist slut.
What people don't realize is if you have a friend who is a bad influence being on drugs. You will always gravitate back to your friend. They are your friend to talk to, and the hook up on drugs when your life seems to be going downhill. Her friend was terrible. And pushed her back into that life. She didn't care for her. Why else would she NOT CALL THE AMBULANCE. She only cared about herself.
She was a misandrist wh*re who never respected her husband and simply used him. You can't just blame the friend for encouraging that behavior, it was still her choice.
Story 1. I’m 24 years in recovery. She was 100% responsible for her condition and ultimately her own death. She chose to take that first pill, knowing her own history. Her choice was fully informed. OP is not responsible. It’s tragic but our group buries a couple of these people making that same choice every year, our first one this year was yesterday.
Story 2: there's a couple of reasons your ex doesn't see the toxicity in his family. The obvious is because his mom calls himself so much his version of what goes on is completely different from everyone else's. Two, he's so you the growing up this way he can't see the toxicity because of the only family dynamic he knows. Or heat subconsciously blocks out his family toxic next because he mentally can't cope with the idea he doesn't have a perfect family, so when you or his sister refuses to cater to that fantasy he gets mad and refuses to believe you. This guy doesn't need to get married he needs serious wake up call. And the bottom line is even if you got over all of the red flags, you know he would never defend you from them no matter what his mom or sister does.
This is so horrible. Reminds me of one of those "Intervention" TV shows I ended up watching by chance. The mom in the story was hooked on painkillers. It was really bad. The whole family cornered her, did the Intervention, and convinced her to go to rehab. When she came out, it was wonderful. The husband had his wife back, the kids had their mom back, the grandma had her daughter back. Everything was wonderful- until a month or two later when she ran off to be with some druggie loser she met in Rehab. That was absolutely heartbreaking and rage-inducing at the same time.
There's a phrase I heard that the first story makes me think of. "The person you divorce is not the person you married." OP wasn't divorcing the woman he married. She was no longer that person.
1st story: that's one of the darkest stories ever read on this channel. Obviously the wife made her own choices but as rSlash said, if her lowlife scumbag dealer friend wasn't in the picture she'd be alive, happy & healthy right now. As far as I'm concerned, that "friend" killed her. I sincerely hope OP is holding it together and can find his peace. 2nd story: woah, OP didn't just dodge a bullet, she dodged Trinity.
Honestly, I don't believe in it. There is a lot drug dealers and users out there. You will meet one sooner or later. But the choice will be yours if you want to ignore them or do whatever else.
@@joaosampaio5387Yeah, she should have broken it off as soon as she saw the friend was using. Even before that, the raging misandry was going to ruin her marriage. Some people seem to think bad friends are better than no friends even though it's the opposite.
If your partner/spouse wants you to all a majority/all of the house work disupte the fact you're the breadwinner then tries to gaslight you when you don't do so then that's not a happy/healthy realtionship. Also abuse is abuse regardless of gender and the wife in this story (hopefully soon ex) is definitely abusive. Edit: omg I didn't expect her to OD but op don't feel bad your ex is someone who needed to realise her actions had consequences, I just hope op can get out of this spiral after her death.
That second story? I am a widow, and I have been for almost 8 years. I was with my man for over 13 years, and I never had a good relationship with his family during our 10 year marriage- the lot of them snubby alcoholics around more snubby alcoholics (they would bring the entire bar home sometimes and drink, smoke weed -and other illicit substances- for entire weekends), and I always made choices to be the DD or remove myself from those situations. Because I tried to make responsible decisions and ones that didn't include alcohol, they HATED me, and I knew it despite their smiles and tolerance- hubby always said it was "in my head", too. But I was so right: they caused so many problems for us when my man was dying from cancer, telling me it was my fault, stole from me, and attempted to take me to court for my husband's assets, pensions and estate. If I would have known they were going to make my life hell at the end of my husband's life, I would never have married him, regardless if I would take a bullet for that man.
It wasn’t that OP’s instincts were sharp, it’s that her ex-fiancé’s family’s crazy shone bright like a lighthouse, they didn’t even try to hide how toxic they are.
My baby brother passed away from an overdose in December 2020 and that pain never leaves, always wondering if there was anything that you could have done to help more than you already are
OH OKAY THAT MAKES MORE SENSE. Either way, he wouldn't have been spiraling again had he actually left her like he said he was going to. And I will, in fact, 'judge' him for that.
I vaguely remembered the first story but not the last update. I feel so bad for OP, the boys, and kind of the wife/mom (but not really). I hope the “friend” rots in jail.
Story 2: You dodged a bullet by dumping this guy. He may appear nice but the moment his mommy dearest tells him to do something ridicilous - he's going to do it completely ignoring you and common sense alike. And that's ESPECIALLY concerning if you would've had a child with him.
Yeah considering he wouldn't have a bar of it when she mentioned the MIL was being racist to her, he clearly would never, ever defend her to his family. She absolutely made the right call, and hopefully the fact that she wouldn't budge + his sister going NC makes him realise.
Indeed. Intentions and actions are different things, it doesn't matter ho good of a boy he is if he is just going to abide for her toxic mother. Anyway, nice profile picture, Dadorable.
Story one: I can't believe how much the first story reminds me of another story that r/ read. There was a story on this channel about a couple that had five children together and then for some reason one of them got DNA tested and found out that she wasn't related to her father. I think it might have been one of those 23 and me kits. Now suspicious. The father DNA tested all of the kids and found out none of them were his. The story didn't have that much of a resolution. About a month after the video posted, I went looking for the original post and found an update. Rather than come clean about the affairs. Once she had been found out, she overdosed and took her own life. It's crazy to me how selfish so many of these people in these stories are.
Story 1, addiction: the 2 meds are downers (the first one for anxiety), to feel numb, and uppers (the second one, for "appetite"), to stay awake while she's high or wake herself up to function. It's not uncommon that people struggling with substance use disorders use both uppers and downers in order to stay functional
she LoVeD hEr KiDs..... and then she proceeds to: 1. Bring drugs into their home. 2. Cheat on their father. 3. Chose drugs, and eventually death, over being in their lives. Yeah... checks out.
Story 1: I know OP is going through a lot right now, because on top of her death you also have to deal with the fact she been lying to you. Even so please don't pick up those bad habits again, you said it yourself you're staying sober at least for the kids please pour out the bottle.
S1: That poor guy. Nobody is responsable for an addict's OD, specially when the person is being handled like glass. He did the best he could in a crappy situation, too bad some things are out of his hands S2: Ah, yes, emotional I-word, classic...
*2nd Story:* OP dodged a tactical nuke! I'm glad her normal/not normal compass wasn't wrecked by her abusive family. I can't even imagine having to deal with two terrible families during the holidays.
@alexanderhenby1362 addiction is no excuse for being a horrible person. I'm so tired of people using it as one. I'm an addict, and I still choose to have morals and integrity. I could've stolen my dad's painkillers when I went through withdrawals like my scumbag uncle did, but I didn't, because I'm not human filth.
@@kelleyg4894 no. Stop using addiction to excuse horrible people and their horrible actions. Addicts can choose to get clean. I knew what I was doing when I was abusing drugs. If I had a good reason not to (like having kids) I wouldn't have been doing it. That evil woman wanted to have a man pay her bills, do all the chores, and raise her kids so she could sit on her ass and do drugs with her friend and cheat on her simp. Addiction didn't make her a bad person, she was already a bad person.
Story one hit me hard. My mum passed away a week ago. My mum had a heart attack Tuesday 5th, she was resuscitated but she had a hypoxic brain injury, she was declared brain dead on Thursday 7th and we removed her life support. She passed away 00.03 Friday 8th. It was the most traumatic experience having to watch my mum take her last breath. I had cancer, I been raped and I had an abusive relationship however taking mum off life support and watching her die trumped all that trauma. I keep thinking I can just pick up the phone and ring her. When I walked up to the house today I was expecting to just see her in her chair... 😢 It's extremely hard losing your mother. On 10th march it's Irish mothers day so I gave her, her last card and set it in her coffin. She was buried 12th march.
OP in the first story is not at fault. His wife had many chances to fix her life. She relied on a friend who didnt care about her and drove her to making bad decisions. The drugs, the cheating, the pressure to gaslight her husband to do more chore and housework were most likely an opinion that came from her friend. When she went back to hanging out with her drug addict friend she made her decision to not get better and drive herself deeper into that spiral.
Those boys need therapy and so does OP... He's blaming himself for everything SHE did.. I understand his hurt, pain and guilt, been there.. Those boys are more important, much more.. She did this to herself and unfortunately there was and is nothing he could have done because you cannot do the best until they are ready to go through their own worse, getting sober.. Hurts my soul for OP but, he's not alone at all.. S2: Heard that batshit crazy ridiculousness..!! 😳
I just finished rhe first story, and i hated every second of it at the end. The beginning was terrible, the wife was terrible, the friend was terrible. But HE STAYED. HE SHOULD NOT HAVE STAYED. Hospitals HAVE to keep you there until you're mentally well to leave and be on your own, as someone who attempted via od. He should have kept through with the divorce, because any smart person would have known she didn't drop the friend nor the habits. She had already proved to be manipulative, he should have left. All that talk about not having any feelings for her but anger because of what she did. Just for him to blindly stop it all. And now what is he doing? His own addictions(back to smoking). He should have stopped it all before that. God, it upsets me so f-ing much.
Jesus Christ yes, he should've stuck to his guns and divorced her. When he started going on about talking with his wife after her coma and getting back together i wanted to scream. Like dude, this woman is radioactive and she'll only cause you more pain. And she did. She was still hanging around her "friend" so she probably never stopped using. I know addiction is an illness and addicts need support and help but the addict also has to be sincere about wanting to get clean. OP's wife didn't seem to get it, and it cost her life. And she hurt him again for good measure on her way out. This story sucks. :(
That's good to hear, though OP apparently did start smoking again after kicking the habit. Which still sucks. Though I think smoking isn't as damaging to people you lose as drinking. Usually. I just hope OP focuses on his kids and stays sober for them.
@@the_rachel_sam Yeah, I caught that later, and I'll go ahead and change it, if I specified drinking. Because he did pick up smoking again, which is still an addiction.
@@JillLulamoon REAL!! I held back so much, just shaking in anger, those children did NOT deserve it. He wanted to do what was best for them, but bringing her back around wasn't. I'm surprised the eldest also doesn't hold any anger towards his dad. She was selfish through and through, I don't call attempting ones life selfish, as a survivor of three in my teenhood. But getting help and getting out of addiction only to go back to it after seeing the fallout is selfish. I judge people who do that higher than anything, because my mom did it. And it destroyed the way I view her.
I lost my dad to an intentional overdose after he was being forced to either get help or get out. Addiction is such a massive fucking atomic bomb and I stand by it being a disease, outside of it being a fact, because of its effect on not just the user, but those around them, too. I feel for OP having to not only help his kids process this situation, but keep himself above water. And I empathize with the oldest child who's just angry - because it's been almost 11 years and I still get mad.
19:00 I would have said: "I'm not surprised. That dinner was enough for ME to never wanna talk to them again, so I can only imagine after the horrible things they've done."
Story 1: Paint yourself yellow and move to Springfield because you're a simp, son. OP desperately needs a wakeup call - that woman DID NOT love him. She DID NOT "love her sons". She was not a good person. She was a user. She used OP for money, adoration, and as a punching bag. She used her sons as a shield against criticism and anyone looking into her daily exploits too far. She used her "friends" for drugs and affirmation of her terrible behavior. I hate to say this but OP enabled her near the end. I guarantee there were signs she was relapsing but he couldn't bring himself to be "the bad guy" so he ignored it. And I guarantee the oldest son saw how his mother used OP and how he's covering for her and that's why he's mad. OP has GOT to let that guilt go. He has got to move on.
What happened to OPs wife in the first story is the stuff of nightmares for me. I have an extremely addictive personality, and I know that if I ever got hooked on drugs or addicted to gambling, I don't have the willpower to stop. It's truly terrifying to listen to stories like that knowing it could be me
I’ve heard this story before but never heard the ending. Jesus. Christ. That friend needs to be in prison. I wish the wife could have gotten more help. I’m so sorry OP. I’m so so sorry, boys.
First story was really hard to hear because it made me think of my cousin who died of an overdose. He struggled a lot in life but started getting better with therapy, right up until he broke up with his girlfriend and started dating someone new. She became his dealer and he stopped with his therapy. One day, while they were hitting up together, he started ODing. Turns out she was on probation, so instead of calling 911, she left him lying there, hid her stash and paraphernalia, left the apartment for 20 minutes and pretended to walk in on him and THEN called. He was put into a medically induced coma but never woke up, his brain activity just dwindled until entirely unresponsive and he was declared brain dead. Had she called right away he might have survived. The only silver lining is that 8 people up the chain were arrested and incarcerated, including her.
The sickest part of the story Those are all prescription medications. Its not coke or herion. Prescription medications created to help people. Made addictive on purpose. And the manufacturers knew. Three boys lost their mom well before she died and I hope OPs oldest gets the help he needs. Anger is a stage of grief.
The first story hit home for me. My mother was a drug addict. My mom was friends with an escort. She got my mom into harder drugs. The serial cheating was nothing new. However, it was the drugs that ruined my family. My mom is alive. I feel sorry for Op and his family.
If the truth makes your kids hate their other parent, then so be it. Just be honest about what's happening. Mom's a substance addict and needs help getting better. She's putting things in her body that aren't good for her. It sucks, but you can't control how your kids react to intense news like this.
A friend of mine from a local d&d group recently passed from an overdose as well. He had trouble, and had checked himself into rehab ... they kept him for 7 days, released him on a friday with a couple pills to help him get through the weekend and made an appt on Monday to meet with a social worker. He went home took all the pills and then was gone. It was a shock to every one because none of us even knew he had gone to rehab. None of us got to say goodbye. He was in his late 20s, working on a PHD in music education, he wanted to teach children one day. He was working on writing his own music as well. ... but yeah like the op said share your joy with your loved ones because you never know how long you have with them.
If the first story is the one I remember, there were more updates. There were more "friends"/victims of this woman, she got them to whore themselves out to get the money for drugs. After his wife died one of the other girls almost died and the woman wouldn't do anything to help her! When the girl was in hospital OP visited her and to sum it up managed to get a load of evidence on the Main woman and went on a revenge arc for his wife as she was heavily manipulated into this life. Boyfriends and husbands of other girls helped him.
First story reiterates my belief that people who introduce others to drugs are evil. They're scumbags, they ruin and end lives. Second story: dude is not the good guy she thinks he is. He was manipulating her from the start, on his best behavior, love bombing her. If he truly wasn't toxic himself he would have defended her against his mother, would be supportive of his sister. But he's not. He's a bad apple just like the rest of them. She would have been miserable in marriage once he dropped the façade and it would have ended in divorce, hopefully before they had children. And even if he isn't as bad as I fear, it's very bad that "I'm treated well, so my family is good" while ignoring how the family treats others, including those within the family (Mia) and his own damn fiancé. Very bad signs, that lack of empathy and being able to observe and sympathize with the experiences of others.
My uncle and godfather is a former addict. Have been clean for almost 30 years now. He once told me this piece of wisdom that stuck with me: "When you get clean and fall back into your addiction, you don't start over. You go back EXACTLY where you left of. So if I'm getting back into drugs, trust me, I'm going to die. I was that far gone".
I feel so bad for the boys and OP. He is blaming himself for no reason, he did everything he could and more than many would have in the situation. And he absolutely didn't need to go that far! I don't wanna talk badly about the dead but damn, she had it so good with OP loving her kids like his own, and being ready to support her after rehab even after learning she had cheated. It's just too bad she didn't accept the help. Rehab only works if you want it yourself, after all. Seriously, if OP wasn't such a saint she would have died homeless with her kids in the system. Also fuck that friend. Wife's actions were her own, in the end, but this lady wasn't even gonna call the ambulance? Disgusting.
I feel so so bad for the man in this story. He tried so hard to be there for his family, even when his wife was checking out and hurt him. I hope the kids will be ok and the husband gets help again. Unfortunately addiction is an illness, and not everyone makes it out of that cycle.
I'm glad the wife loved her boys, but not enough to stay clean after going to rehab repeatedly, almost dying to an OD then acrually dying to an OD. And being a cheater onto of it. I get addiction is an issue but even starting taking drugs is a choice and the consequences aren't new or a mystery in this day. You are 100% responsible for your own choices that aren't actually forced on you. She sucked, screwed up everyone's lives, then died.
the woman in the first story wasn't a victim- she chose to cheat, she chose to treat her husband like garbage, she chose to abuse substances when in rehab. as a former addict myself, it's a common end for people and i sympathize with her kids, but she got exactly what was coming to her, as callous as it sounds
Story 1: I feel so bad for OP. He just got hit again and again with abuse and betrayal. I understand why would he feel sad and guilty but none of this is his fault. No sympathy for her though. Story 2: OP is wrong - he's not a good guy. If she married into this family, in time, he would show her just how bad he is because there's no way he's a decent man with a family like that. He'd treat OP just like his mother would. He would never have her back. He would let his family abuse his kids or do it himself. OP dodged a nuke.
As someone who has been in the situation as the boys I feel for them so much it is so hard to wrap your head around the fact that your parents is sick and that's just what she is sick
Wow that first story is… so much to absorb. My heart goes out to that family. Those boys will grow up with a brokenness that will never be healed. As a previous addict myself, the only thing stopping me is my son. I had an OD once and that feeling of waking up after a knocking on deaths door is scary. I couldn’t imagine putting that on my son for the rest of his life. Forever thinking “what did this drug have over my mom that was better than me”
That woman's friend killed her. Got her addicted to drugs, facilitated the addiction, tried to turn her against Op, seemingly caused (or at least aided in) her relapse, and then wasted time arguing with her boyfriend about calling an ambulance. Just..wow.
I only feel sorry for OP and his sons. That wife should have been thrown out the moment it was discovered that she had an addiction because once someone let's themselves fall victims to it there is no turning back. No amount of rehab coma interventions or just a force cleanse will stop it. I speak from experience of watching a cousin fall victim to his addiction and my entire family myself included did everything in our power to help him but each and every time he would throw that help back at our faces and get into more trouble with addiction to where we finally just gave up and left alone in his addiction.
Re: first story. OP, you are NOT to blame for your wife's death. You went well above and beyond what a loving spouse needs to do. Although you're beating yourself up for your actions, you had to take care of you and your boys. As for your wife's death, I understand all too well about the pain and guilt that you are feeling. My friend invited my now wife and I to a party at his place. When I was around, everyone knew that there were to be no hard drugs. Well, we didn't go, and somewhere along the line, he ODed on a speedball; they left his body in the hall, and kept partying. I felt like it was my fault, because it wouldn't have happened if I had been there. Eventually I understood that it wasn't my fault, and if it hadn't happened then, it probably would have happened sooner or later. I wish you Godspeed in your healing and raising your sons.
Tbh first OP should have left after she started talking about divorce, she turned him into a doormat, brought drugs around her children, cheated, and then overdosed twice, I'll never understand how tf he could have still loved her after all that, no matter what she was no longer the woman he married. The oldest child seems like the most sane one there, it makes sense for him to be mad, his mom became a POS all because of some "friend".
This video hits really deep because I recently lost my best friend to an overdose. He didn’t go into rehab but instead isolated himself from everyone that he would do hard substances with and started going to the gym. He was doing well just like the wife was in the first story and then suddenly relapsed and died. I struggled to listen to the story.
*1st Story:* I know these stories are narratively compressed, but it breaks me to think that those kids saw their loving mother self-destruct over the course of a year.
OP was a total doormat. Doormats think they are being good to the people who take advantage of them, but they are actually hurting both themselves and those close to them.
I thought so too, I mean good on him for raising so many kids that aren't his but come on. He has one kid he kept from an ex girlfriend who wasn't interested in raising him, and the others are children from his current girlfriends past relationships, none are his. Then he feels guilty when he tells his cheating gf to hit the curb and she tries to kill herself. He seems like the type to look for women who need saving rather than an actual equal partner.
Story 1: If I had a nickel for every Reddit trainwreck cheating story that started with "So my wife has a new friend(or group) that is hard-core feminist/misandrist..." I expect the next lines to be "now she's telling me she wants: to open the marriage/ me to do more housework/me to stop being 'controlling'
The lesson of the first story hit me hard. Not to garner too much attention, but my dad was an alcoholic and died due to the long term effects it had. I was just going to get to know him because when I was younger, I didn't care too much. But that last phone call when I could come because he wasn't awake at certain hour, I still remember it. "I love you" such a simple thing. My opinion of him is mostly based on the image my other relatives have painted him, and I'm so sad that I didn't take the steps sooner. Now, while I do use alcohol to some extent (even when writing this) I make sure that if I have a need to get drunk, I make sure that it is only once a week. I'm so afraid that I go down to that spiral like my dad. And the words that he used to say "We are quite similar, you and I." Haunt me every time I open up a can of beer. I make sure to hold on to my rule of only once a week and only 2l of beer at most (haven't touched hard liquors). How fitting. The day I decided to have one drunk night of the week, I get to hear about lives ruined by one person's substance abuse.
I don't wish death on anyone but my mother took all her pills while we were all home, she also was a serial cheater (and told me all about it while i was way too young). Also spit in my face. She's an awful person and tbh some people don't deserve those around them.
First story; That was just so…damn…tragic. This story serves as a prime example that if you let the wrong people into your life, it will end in disaster. When I heard that this man’s wife had a friend who was a “bad influence,” I was scared to know where this was gonna go, especially when drugs were revealed to be involved. Addiction is a disease, and those who spread it are monsters. His wife passing away was sad to hear about for sure. However, I hope that OP doesn’t feel guilty about this for long. He made compromises, he was there for her and stayed faithful, he forgave her for her bad choices, the list goes on. Not to mention he takes care of the boys and loves them as best as he can. Her death is not and will never be his fault. Her actions and the people she let into her life led to a bad outcome.
The first story reminds me of this other reddit story I might or might not have heard on this channel. A "friend" was pouring poison down the ear of someone's wife, telling her that OP is definitely cheating because "all men do that." This culminates in the wife assaulting OP and I believe later dying in a car crash whilst very agitated due to the friend's influence. The friend had the nerve to try and attend the funeral. If anyone can find that story I would love to reread/relisten to it.
As someone who is prescribed clonazapam for my actual anxiety disorder a half a tablet will do the job most of the time it’s a use as needed and I strictly keep it as such because it can be addictive to some people
I skipped the first part because it's too much for me but decided to read the comments And when I read your comments I was like.. "wait.. clonazepam? That sounds familiar?" So I run into my room to my stack of pills I have to go through each day because depression I have that one. Like.. A lot of them almost 90 I've take them once in a while as per my therapist said to take it only if I really can't sleep God I'm so glad that I didn't depends on it that much to fall asleep That was so scary 😭 Edit: found some more. It's 110 total of Clonazepam that therapist handed to me. Imma return them on my next visit
@lucidmelon3599 they can be very strong they are basically in the same group as Xanax in the type of drug they are for me the help calm my panic attacks but I try to only take them when it gets to the point I literally can't function
The first story is kinda similar to what my family is currently dealing with, but my family problem is much worse. Like very much worse. I have been thinking about posting it on reddit but i'm not sure yet. I wouldn't know where to start as it's years of stuff and still ongoing.
Yeah, unfortunately a few of us have similar stories... I'm lucky... it never happened to me personally. But in my family there are about 4 or 5 of these stories.
11:31 I just want to wrap OP in a big hug. I actually work at a detox with addicts. OP, this is NOT your fault. She made her choices. Addiction is a terrible, terrible disease. You never had to suffer through it to keep her clean. It was never your fault, it will never be your fault. Please don't let her choices ruin your life too.
Story 2 is why I personally prefer that family introductions happen earlier in relationships, because most of the time you're not just marrying your SO, you're marrying their family, so it's good to know early what exactly you're getting yourself into.😂
Props to the dad in the first video for not ditching the kids that aren’t his. He’s an amazing dad and I commend him for that. I feel so bad for him and those boys, though. I couldn’t imagine the hurt he’s going through.
I'm always suspicious when people post that they're getting married but haven't met the fiance's family. With the exception of the family being extremely far away or NC. Either the fiance is delusional or trying to hide what they really think a marriage should look like.
Nah. OP isn’t responsible for his wife’s OD. That is on her. And I can’t blame the sons for feeling resentment for their mother. OP IS responsible for making sure that his kids are in a happy, healthy home without any addictive substances around, including alcohol and cigarettes.
