OPhas every right to kick her out. guys love it?? maybe if you do it with one slice, not the whole cake. she is controlling or jealous with food that OP has
I grew up with food scarcity and ate food that was covered in cocroaches, ants and rat shit. No one fucking touches my food unless I offer it to them. Don't care if it's family or friend.
Apparently there is more to the story, she IS a psycho, after he kicked her out she broke in and trashed his place, lied about her upbringing, was spiking his drinks with period blood, and when they broke up she bit him
"She said it was cute and not sinister." YOU don't get to decide if you're cute. If I saw a child insist they needed to take the first bite of someone's food, I would call that a spoiled brat, not cute. That applies tenfold for so-called "adults."
"Who told you it was cute? Unless you're my food taster, and the food could be poisoned, it's not cute, it's a form of psychosis. Get treatment. Goodbye".
For real. My cousin's daughter did something similar once (when she was like 4, mind you) by taking a bite out of every strawberry in a packet and my cousin scolded her for it. Lo and behold, that was the ONLY time she did anything like that. What kind of narcissist does things like that...
There's update for the 2nd story: -she started to realize if what she did was wrong. Got a lot of YTA scores and she's trying to work out things. She talked to her daughters and asked them if they feel anything for each other. They said no, just cordiality. And they were upset. OP begged them tp be forgiven. Now, the "you both get the same or no one gets anything" rule is over, she's going to therapy and trying to make things work. She understands now that "you cant force love"
Stories #2 and #3 have updates. Story 2: The mom got absolutely blasted and had no choice but to acknowledge she screwed up. She apologized to her daughter and stepdaughter, both promptly told her they had no interest being forced to play family. Both forgave her and OP has started therapy. The daughter moved into the basement to have her own space and neither girl has to bring the other out when invited to do things. Story 3: Updates are longer, but basically the gf and her family are crazy liars. Apparently she was also putting stuff in his food. She didn't take the breakup well. There is more, but that's the gist of it.
@@sophietremblay3795 so,basically even they are somewhat considered family,these non-flesh and blood just can go to hell?my bet is these evil relatives would be doing the same crap if they get invited to a birthday party of a relative who is adopted.the only wrong thing OP did was forcefully take the gifts to be given to the step-daughter,which is wrong,but it is unforgivable? so,hail selfishness power?and sharing and unselfishness are very very evil?westerners,tsk... maybe this issue and what you guys were saying is okay if the 2(or more) child have close(not more than a week) birthday apart would not be issue having a separate party have financial capacity to have it,in whatever or whoever's means.
My parents tried the "gaming is for children" card when I was a teen, and tried to get me to stop play. I popped in Dead Space. I asked them to play for 1 hour. If their minds weren't changed by then I'll sell all my gaming equipment. They were excited and thought it was going to be some space adventure game. They picked up how to play pretty quickly. Then the necromorphs attacked. The screams my parents belted out were music to my ears. They tried to stop playing but I told them the agreement was 1 hour. They kept playing for at least another 30 minutes before they just power walked out after an alien pretended to be dead then attacked. I never heard that argument again, and they left me alone. I can legitimately see the trauma of that game pop in their eyes any time someone mentions a video game.
@memeboi6942 or this was when I was a teen. The 360 was the current console, and I had the original game. You probably should have thought about this before trying a "gotcha."
I feel so bad for Nora and Amy from the second story. What that mom *should’ve* done is 1) Not make them share literally their whole lives (they need to go to every party together??? Great way to nurture resentment on both sides there) and 2) Instead of stealing Amy’s gifts, she should have instead gotten gifts for Nora. OP didn’t mention if she got any gifts for either daughter - just that they had gotten gifts from their extended family. Gotta wonder, since she was too cheap and stringent to have separate birthdays, if she even got any gifts for her daughters at all. Horrible mother, *especially* since she stole from her own child who did nothing wrong. Just plain disgusting.
In the second story, I not only feel bad for amy but nora as well. Despite her turning down the gifts, this will probably damage her relationship with amy. Whatever relationship those two girls had has probably just been drop kicked into the dumpster.
OP should have asked the girls if they were happy with a joint party. And they're in different years at school so for something small like a sleepover they're not both going to be invited. I feel bad for the girls but taking from Amy won't make Nora feel better.
The mother also completely disregarded everything when her daughter tried to tell her WHY she was upset. Sharing the gifts weren't the real problem, the way the mother has been treating them is. If the mom eased up and let her daughter be her own person, she might invite her step-sister to spend time with her friends, rather than resenting having her sister constantly forced on her.
Story 3 gets SO much crazier. He comes home to find the door half off its hinges, lock broken, his clothes cut up and clogged down the toilet, the food all gone, etc etc. He finds out her entire story of her family history is a lie, that she's been trying to spike his drinks with period blood, and that she is super unhinged and thinks HE should apologise to HER for not offering her the first bite of everything and that she did all that shit to try and "teach him a lesson." When he breaks up with her, she comes to his place, attacks him, bites him, stabs him with a nail-file and other crazy shit. She is a Grade-A Loony, JFC.
yes,and it is very very mature to not share 1-2 giifts from more than a dozen of very expensive and lavish gifts to a step-sibling that done you wrong neither do you hate?... HAIL THE POWER OF SELFISHNESS !!!UNSELFISHNESS IS THE MOST EVIL VALUE IN LIFE !!!! personally i fear for people who are adopted to such crazy family.i'm pretty sure thay would be making same excuse to bully and hate that child,simply because that child is not FLESH AND BLOOD... western great love and ideology on selfishness at it finest,tsk...
You do miss out the part where she had to share her room, FRIEND GROUP, BIRTHDAYS and clearly any event possible with her Sister. Don't get me wrong i felt very bad for Nora, but this re booth children. It is a perfectly undetstandable response to the lazy and damaging parenting. If anything else was kept seperated as normal youd have an argument here. But lets not blame thr result of bad parenting and adult communication on the child.
@@TrafalgarWaterDLaw-dl5cm I’m so confused. All they said was that the young shy daughter is mature and that mom is a bad mom. What are you disagreeing with. Did you think they were being sarcastic? Because that’s not how I took it. I’m sorry I’m just so curious because your response is so outta left field with peace and love 😂
Story 2- I have a younger sibling and a younger cousin, both born a month apart and they are very similar to these girls, and my family did mash the two parties into one, however the theme was chosen by the two, equal presents where enforced, and they had an equal amount of time being the spotlight and we also did a small family only party on their actual birthday so they could have they attention they both deserved. Basically you can do this without being an AH
but,it is the one who cares and sympathize with the step-child that is the AH,not the relatives who gives no crap on excuse of nt being flesh and blood?is that the same excuse people should be making when they get invited to a birthday of someone who is not their flesh and blood?like a neighbor or a friend or an adopted relative?if my relatives does this crap,i'd go 0 contact on them,and distance myself as far as i can to these evil doers.yes,it is evil,their excuse are pathetic and very evil.spending lavish gift to a flesh and blood but can't give any care to someone who is not their flesh and blood,even they are considered family?
It sounds like the parents made themselves homeless. You can’t help people who won’t help themselves. They need to wise up and realize that these are all the consequences of their own actions.
If OP wants to help them they should only do so by buying things directly. Groceries, directly paying a bill, writing a check for rent and dropping it off herself, etc. No cash. No blank checks.
Why would anyone think that this is normal? I mean sometimes my mom or sister will want to taste a bit of something i have, but they at the very least always make sure to ask!
Agreed. Like if I share something with my husband or our gf I ask I don't demand. That's all and if they say no that's fine. But like why the heck would I take a bite out of every single piece of food? That's just gonna piss some people off easily. Even animals are territorial about food especially and weather people realize it or not humans were and still have a lot of those behaviors so why antagonize someone by doing that? Just ask. If they don't consent don't do it. Simple and easy tbh
i saw someone else in the comments say this, but she may have ocd. it seems like she has a genuine compulsion to do those things. like in other situations where a partner eats another’s food they typically don’t take a single bite from everyone even if it’s the same (the cake for example). also the fact she feels the need to have the first bite. while it’s not ok; it just seems like she needs psychiatric help :/
tbh I wouldn't've have gotten to the point of her being in my house. Second or third time that happens, after telling her to stop every, in a very young relationship? Yeah no she's hitting the bricks
Also "Men find it cute." No they 110% do not. Men get extremely defensive of their plate. They get annoyed when you ask to bum a french fry off of them. Let alone take a bite out of a cake that isn't even your BF's.
@@metademetra agreed it is well known via all the memes and jokes that they hate when people say they aren't hungry or something and then take the their food.
If you tried that shit with me, you'd come back with a fork in the back of your hand. My family shares food, but we _ask,_ not just steal thinking it's "cute" 🙄
"She called me an asshole for pretending to have an affair and correcting her before she told other people " 🤣 so OP has to be able to read minds AS WELL as having the ability to CONVINCE this woman OP isn't cheating. If OP could do that, she'd be an Avenger cause that'd be a superpower. Also...no one told her to tell other people 🤣
Also, at that age, a 2-3 year age gap can have a huge impact on social situations, especially if Amy starts getting flak for never being able to do anything without Nora, which isn't even in her control. Sometimes, it absolutely amazes me how adults can just forget what being a teenager is like.
There was a crazy update to the third story actually... - GF trashed the whole apartment, threw a bunch of food away and ripped OP's clothes apart. Also she somehow broke the front door so OP couldn't properly close it anymore. - After some comments on the original post OP realized she was likely lying about her whole background. He actually went to talk to her parents too and there were some holes in her dad's backstory too, but OP never pried further to figure out WHY they were lying. - Later GF came too and acted like nothing was wrong. There was also some apparently cultural stuff of putting shark week blood in tea to make your man love you more, which her aunt did. GF (allegedly) didn't do that, but she did give him tea with a lid and when he pried it open, there was a piece of paper with some stuff written on it, so that freaked OP out and he left and broke things off - A few days later she went to his apartment again and threw a fit. In a comment OP clarifies he was hit, bitten and stabbed in the arm with a nail file (I hope this is even allowed to be said on yt lmao) - She was adamand on returning some of his clothes, which she eventually passed on to a mutual friend, but they were smeared with some oil - OP saw a doctor for blood tests cuz he expects she put something in his food (but never followed up on that) - Lastly, he had to change his number cuz she kept harrassing him. (Also I wanna clarify: No disrespect to different cultures, I'm sure GF was just kinda crazy and took things too far, and I don't think all other people of the same culture are that way.)
Yeah...if it was cultural and not just her being a psycho this wouldn't be a rare or new story, if it weren't just a crazy individual stories like this would be as common as the culture itself is. So definitely just her being psycho
There's a happy ending to Story 2: I looked it up, and she took the criticism and spoke to her wife and kids to have them be candid and stuff, and she found out she really had been overbearing and toxic. She apologized to both her daughters, they gave her a second chance, she's going to therapy (she admits she was desperate to make a happy family and ignoring reality as a result), she's taken steps to help Amy and Nora have a bit more space to grow their relationship by moving the latter's room into the basement (by Amy's own choice, sounds like this was the result of a discussion), and Amy's going to get a birthday party of her own. So, luckily, this lady took her medicine well and looks to be improving herself. I can safely say she's worked off that asshole score, and hopefully will keep it at 0 in the future.
Yes, who knew Reddit could actually help folks make real life improvements!? Of course a 15 year old wants her own space. The mom was way over the top.
so Norma's room was moved into the basement? over in the UK....joint parties if the siblings birthdays are thst close together are so normal I don't get the problem with them.
@@ruthhadfield9726 A joint party for siblings is one thing, but Amy and Nora are not related. They were forced to be together. Maybe in the future they could share a party, but not at the outset of their relationship.
@@61rampy65 still....its not uncommon....whether Amy likes it or not...Nora is part of her life now and part of her family. maybe mum's were strapped for money....I tried to do my sons birthday cheap once but still cost me over 100 pounds then times thst by 2...also it's practical with family members and friends. I was at a joint birthday party where everything was the same....only that they had their own friends there. its attention seeking tbh to want a single one. she basically wants all the attention to be on her. yes mum has her flaws but Amy sounds very spoilt.
The sharing presents story: I did feel like Amy was the AH until OP mentioned "If BOTH of them do not get invites NEITHER of them go". Imagine having to SHARE your friends with your brother or sister because your mum is so worried about the younger one not having friends. No one would want to invite you because you know the younger sister would have to come to the sleepover which means you have to cater to the fact she is younger.
Even before that part was said Amy still wouldn’t have been the AH. Just because her family sucks and decided to show favoritism doesn’t mean she gets to force her daughter to share her gifts. They were Amy’s gifts therefore she gets to decide whether or not she shares them. There’s nothing wrong with wanting your kids to share but the minute it becomes you trying to force them after they said they don’t want to is where resentment starts to build for children. I’m speaking from experience. I loved sharing things like food or toys that weren’t bought for special occasions when I was young but when it came to certain toys I got for birthdays or whatever those were mine and I didn’t want to share cause they were bought specifically as a gift for me. If my mom tried to force me to share I would get very upset cause I was taught you didn’t have to share if you didn’t want to even though it’d be a nice thing and yet because my brother threw a fit I was forced to and I hated it.
That third story sounds like that one from a couple of videos ago with the boyfriend getting unreasonably angry over his partner's lockbox for her snacks, otherwise he'd eat them all. Seems like food's a popular target for manipulative/abusive people.
Story 2 had an update. OP actually took the YTA comments to heart and spoke to her family, even her wife, who told her that she was being too pushy and ignoring Amy’s feelings for Nora. Amy even cried to her stepmom because she felt OP didn’t love her anymore. Op begged forgiveness and is moving Amy to her own room in the basement and is throwing a new party just for her. She also is getting rid of the “both girls get invited” rule, as her wife says it’s ridiculous and makes Amy Nora’s babysitter
Agreed, that's super creepy and will absolutely backfire as their friends pick up on it and it makes things weird. It will just end up ruining the friendships of the one who does have friends, and teach the other one to only exist as a leech (either by or against their will) instead of finding their own way in life.
As someone who spent a good chunk of years hating my sister, I can confirm. Only after we had space to separate from each other did we start to get along. (PS. For me, it wasn't my mother's fault, just circumstance)
Story 4: Ugh I am so tired of the 'this is for children' attitude about anything. Games, anime, plushies, movies, TV, your mom. Like... I work 40+ hours a week in a stressful hospital job. If I want to spent 10 hours on the weekend being a rat in V Rising, leave me alone. My bills are paid, my chores are done, and no one is being harmed by me relaxing.
Exactly, there's nothing wrong with playing video games or watching cartoons or anything. As long as you don't hurt others with it, what's the problem??
Plus when you look at the actual statistics......as of Aug 2 2022...the majority of gamers in the United States are adults...only 21% are under 18. And 15% are over 55 which means they got into games only as an adult cuz it just didn't exist yet.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings Yeah, exactly. If video games are for kids, then why is there an M rating (or 18+ rating for people in other countries). Besides, it's their house, their parents have no say as long as they're not doing anything illegal.
Second story: I've been in Amy's place before. My sister's birthday is months from mine, so we never shared a party, not that we could afford them. We grew up on the poverty line, so expensive gifts were a no-no. My grandma loooved me however, and there's no way she'd let her precious baby not get to have that popular new thing the other kids have. She'd throw buckets of her money at me every birthday and christmas, getting my sister only half as much for coming in second. We've since called her out on this, but she denies it. As the elder I was forced to take her everywhere, share all my things and let her borrow my clothes whenever, and I hated her guts for it. She adored me (still does) but would get upset and frustrated because I'd 'steal' her friends (I was older, ergo cooler, amongst other things) and would get all the best and newest things from grandma. Our relationship his since improved, obviously, but if I had to share a birthday with my sister? I'd have exploded. Violently. What mom doesn't seem to realise is that it's not just 'her' her daughter is going to hate for this. I took everything out on my sister, and it crushed her. I used to be an extremely bitter person and wanted nothing more than to be rid of her at times. I feel fortunate to have grown, but Amy might not. She's setting Amy up to be bitter and resentful, both of her mom and her sister. Nora is being far more mature about this than she should have to be. Buy Nora some extra separate gifts and let them have their own lives.
@@breezy3392 I'm shocked op didn't look. If I saw that I would of gave her just as many gifts out of my own pocket. It's your child's birthdays, not a charity.
Also family showing clear favouritism is obvious. I wouldn't blame them for it. They dont know her, they dont know what she likes. To them, Nora is complete stranger. I wouldn't expect anything from them to begin with.
I'm a gamer, and I will probably play video games until the day I die. If my parents, inlaws or whoever tried to dictate which of my hobbies are "acceptable" or not, I'd go minimum to no contact with them.
The worst part is OP replied in the comments section that the reason why she and husband haven't cut contact with the ILs despite that they clearly don't respect OP or her husband playing video games is that it's actually because of it's part of their culture that they're told to respect their parents no matter what. I'm not even joking about this.
Last story: Remember folks - mental health does not excuse you for being emotionally absent from your partner. Mental health does not excuse you to only take from a relationship, and never give. Mental health is a reason for you to struggle with the above, but OP's boyfriend sounds like he's not even trying to be emotionally receptive towards you. Also, guessing by the fact his mum got involved, I'm gonna assume he's always been mollycoddled by her and he's never learnt how to healthily balance a relationship. I have a feeling that even once he's been able to move on from his grandfather's passing, he will still be an unreceptive boyfriend to future partners.
I also agree but personally I think the mother was the biggest problem for the incident. Something about her rubs me the wrong way. (Crappy behavior aside) It seems like he may have just been venting a bit. There’s nothing that indicates he asked the mother to call OP. I’m not saying this wasn’t the ideal outcome but we should also pay attention to how the mother could have manipulated things a bit.
@@xNETxEx At 14:44 the mom was said to have gotten the _impression_ OP sent the photo after the boyfriend told her not to. It could've been the mom getting it wrong, or it could've been the boyfriend making it sound worse than it was, but neither were in the right.
It’s hilarious how those parents fell for scams without actually doing research, they can’t be trusted with a computer or a credit card without wiring all their savings to a scammer lmao.
If the birthday is less than a week apart from another, then it makes 'practical' sense for the birthdays to be done together. Any more than that and it doesn't work.
For kids definitely. I had joint parties in my teens & it never bothered me. My foster brother's b-day was 13th, my uncle's 19th & mine 20th. It just made sense. But my gifts were mine & theirs were theirs.
Story 3: "She called me TA for making her homeless." What?! SHE made HERSELF homeless! What the hell?! It is not cute that she took a bite out of every single piece of food, she's being intentionally malicious. NTA 100%.
Yes, and the cake he was gonna give to his friend? WTH? Why would you take a bite out of every piece and get your germs and saliva on it? It was even already cut, so why not just take a piece like a normal human being?
When I was in labor about 5 min before my birthday the doctor asked if I wanted to share a birthday with my daughter or not. I chose not to and had her out right then. Sometimes I think it'd be cute to share birthdays but I wonder when she's older if she'll want her own day
Second story: I hope OP enjoys her daughter Amy while she can, because the girl is guaranteed going to go NC as soon as possible. Making them share everything, without even checking with Amy? Giving away gifts given to her by someone else (and naturally Nora wouldn't want them; why should she, since they weren't for her?). It's hard to read about parents this clueless.
For the story about the girlfriend who took one bite of the OP's food; she needs to understand that in a relationship couples have hobbies, possessions, and hobbies that are theirs and theirs alone as well as things that are shared. Relationships do not require everything to be shared between both parties in the relationship, but they do require good communication and tolerance of each others boundaries. Since she was not able to understand that, the OP made the right call in giving her the boot. As for the story with the OP who's parents had problems with her and her husband's gaming hobby; they need to STFU, it's 2022 and they can build a bridge and get over it.
@@H-to-O honestly I am thinking the same thing to eat every piece of cake after getting told off more than once and then to break a lock to do it is insane
I'm wondering if she has like some severe OCD where she has to touch or taste everything. Would maybe explain the behaviour. Especially if it's the same cake split into 8 slices and she took a bite of each one. That literally makes no sense. Maybe even PTSD from siblings stealing her food in the past. XD
For the third story: cute is swiping a small piece of food off your partner's plate every once in awhile. Not every meal and definitely not the first bite. The biggest giveaway for it being an act of dominance wasn't breaking the lockbox, it was taking a bite of each slice of cake. If I saw a cake in the fridge divided up, I'd ask what it is about before taking even one slice as long as I was given the ok to take one
I wonder if she has some kind of compulsion to claim food by taking a bite out of it. If she wanted a bite out of OP's food when they go to restaurants just to try it, it's annoying but somewhat understandable. But if she wanted to try some of OP's cake, she could've either taken a whole slice or a bite out of just one. Taking one bite out of every piece just screams compulsive behaviour to me, and breaking the lock so she could keep doing it is even more so. I wonder if she has a history of food insecurity and feels the need to "claim" every food she sees?
I read a lot about matters of psychology and have for thirty years... I honestly don't even know what this is. Delusion? Compulsion? Aggression? Addiction??? I don't know. The fact that she seems almost unable to not do it is so weird. She needs to speak to an actual therapist to work this s*it out.
@@martlettoo The updates on Reddit are kind of crazy. She broke into his apartment and destroyed everything, including the door, lied about her family 100%, tried to act like nothing happened, did something to the OP after screaming outside of his apartment for a while that The OP described as "The Initial Cake incident was getting off easy." And a slew of other crazy things. So in essence,she's some variant of a psycho-sociopath.
Another commenter also adds that update reveals she tried spiking his drinks with her period and when he broke up with her she attacked him biting scratching and stabbing with a nail file. So yeah not compulsive behavior that's psycho
yhea to be honest the guys sounds like a sociopath, i myself am struggeling with depression, anxiety and prob some other stuff, i started therapy over 3 months ago. and i know i always was with my ex and i woud like it more to help her with her own problems instead of mine. idk how but didnt seem like the dude was with op becouse of love
Men aren't taught to be emotionally available. That's why this is so common. It's completely idiotic and it's yet another outdated gender stereotype that ought to be removed
As someone who cut ties with friends who tried to steal my food at restaurants, the idea of being with someone who purposely takes bites out of my food because they think it's cute disgust me
Second story: As someone with a Christmas birthday, I was immediately pissed off on the shared birthdays thing. Combining two separate birthdays is a guaranteed way to make sure someone feels left out. Amy and Nora, as teenagers, are still figuring out their identities and need to be able to have their own individual special days. Totally agree on the 4/5 buttholes, rSlash.
I'm lucky enough to have a birthday not in December. Sometimes my parents would opt for one larger present on one with something very small on the other. Like if I wanted something out of their price range, but it fit in the budget for the year's worth of gifts. Often I was fine with it and ultimately it was my decision. If both kids wanted to share a party so it could be more epic, great. If they'd rather have their own, respect that. It's their day.
Story 3: Sounds like Haley has something she should be checked for. OCD, maybe? Because this isn't normal behavior, and it is *not* OP's responsibility to deal with it.
Yeah I wondered that too, if she had some kind of compulsion to claim food by taking a bite out of it. If she wanted a bite out of OP's food when they go to restaurants just to try it, it's annoying but somewhat understandable. But if she wanted to try some of OP's cake, she could've either taken a whole slice or a bite out of just one. Taking one bite out of every piece just screams compulsive behaviour to me, and breaking the lock so she could keep doing it is even more so. I wonder if she has a history of food insecurity and feels the need to "claim" every food she sees?
@@samdevine4029 Can you give a summary? My take away wasn't a compulsive disorder but that it was some kind of obsessive kink/fetish based on some experiences I've had with other people... Don't ask.
@@RiveroftheWither won't ask 🤣🤣 basically when he said he was going to his mom's so she could pack and leave, she trashed the place, broke the door, threw away or stole food, etc. he found out she lied about herself, went to talk to her parents about it and getting his things back and got suspicious her dad was lying too about stuff (not, call the cops type stuff, but like work/education background, iirc). and there was some... interesting tales of I would call a version of black magic? using certain female monthly expulsions in drinks to make someone love you/love you more, and it really just goes on. almost to the point of being not believable, but also still within the realm of possible semi psychotic behaviour
@@RiveroftheWither she was mad he didn’t offer to share his food automatically, so it was a power play. The more psycho thing though is the period blood tea, the destroyed apartment, her freaking out in front of ops apartment after the break up, and then when op went to calm her down, she apparently stabbed him with a nail file and bit his shoulder. Really it’s an experience you can only get by reading the update lol
The mom shoulda just bought extra gifts for her, told the family that she expected both to be treated the same. Also if someone doesn't want a joint birthday party, then don't. Like rslash said, it's not her fault for the favouritism. (St2)
The mother should have asked both girls if they were okay with a joint party. And common sense, she should have checked the giftbag before unpacking it in front of the girls; she could have gotten her stepdaughter more presents herself
@@breezy3392 ikr? She kept complaining about Nora not getting gifts and I was like “and what did you get her????” Like if you want the kid to get more gifts, do it yourself!
Everyone is slamming OP's family, who, by the sounds of it, doesn't really know Nora (given they're in a different country). Even though they DID include that kid. But no one has anything to say about Nora's mom, OP, Nora's bio family. And then, to put the onus on OP's kid is awful. OP sounds awful. Not only will her kid feel massive resentment to the "wife" and her "sister", but she'll cut OP off if she continues.
@@kranberry3318 EXACTLY! Everyone is slamming OP's family for caring about a family member they actually know. Meanwhile it sounds like they don't even know this kid but tried to include her, but NO ONE is slamming OP, her wife, and her wife's family .wtf.
Forcing your children to share their stuff with other kids is an A-hole move itself. My mom kept forcing me to share my stuff when I was younger. All it did was increase my resentment towards her and made me hide everything from other people so I wouldn't be obliged to share stuff. It made me not want to make friends with anybody.
also by the fact that everything has to be both of them oh you got invited to the birthday party and your half sister didn't sucks for you. I also don't understand the birthday thing makes no sense at all.
2- YTA, OP’s making it harder for the girls to get along by forcing them to share EVERYTHING. The bedroom is understandable, but they need to have their own friends, sleepovers, and celebrations. OP should've gotten her to understand that they needed to except her new step family. OP literally dropped the ball at every chance.
Story 5: NTA; the friend is right, Sam is immature since he never returned any emotional support he was given and responds to something like his girlfriend being in the hospital. Now, I can understand the picture being triggering, but it's an excessive reaction to complain to his mother about the messages.
The third story: . . . I have no words. That's not what women do when they love someone. I went out with a guy and he gave me a fry off his plate. That's a show of love. Taking a bite off of someone else's plate without even asking though is just rude. She also didn't have to sample EVERY PIECE OF CAKE in the fridge. It all came from the same cake. No one does that unless they want to claim a piece. I knew someone who once stuck their finger into the frosting of each cupcake at a party because they wanted to have them all. I took one anyway. Not the smartest decision, but I wanted to combat the petty.
Ew, what a foul person. I always wanted more than I was supposed to have as a kid (as in, I always fantasized about getting to eat as many cupcakes or whatever as I wanted, but never got to because things were divvyed up fairly) but I never stole someone else's, and I would never have dreamt of ruining other's to get my way.
2nd story: 3/5 score. I guarantee trying to force ur daughter & stepdaughter to share everything will drive a wedge between them. Telling Amy she can't hang out with her friends bcuz Nora wasn't invited is gonna cause Amy to resent both Nora & OP.
And its gonna make Amy lie about where she's going and with whom. Also note, Amy is 15 and Nora is 13... they are very unlikely to have the same friends!
op also said they have to go to the same sleepovers I mean 15 year old girls with a 13? if it was a 14 yeah that would be better but still i can imagine how awkward that would be.
Story 5: if it weren’t for the update, I was ready to be sympathetic towards the boyfriend. I’m in the unfortunate situation of being extremely emotionally/empathetically sensitive, so someone I very much care about being in the hospital would have been an extreme source of stress for me. Just the other day at work, I had a similar situation, where my mom texted me about a close relative who had a heart attack and was in the hospital, in the middle of my shift, at a point where she didn’t have much info or resolution. It threw off my emotions for quite a while. The difference in my case is, rather than “I don’t want to hear about this ever”, my response was, respectfully approaching after work, explaining that I knew my mom needed to get things off her chest, but I would appreciate it if non-emergency bad news could wait until after I got home in the future. I’m aware of my unreasonable reactions, and I’m aware they’re unreasonable, and try to find decent compromises to allow my mom to vent while maintaining healthy emotional boundaries. The update indicates that’s not the case for the boyfriend.
Story 3: “All women do this and guys love this!” If I’m OP, I’d be saying, “All guys love this? Please tell me more about how I feel.” Took a bite out of every piece of a cake? And one bite out of every one of OP’s snacks? Chick is unhinged.
only rarely without permission, like swiping a single fry from a plate when they're "not looking" at worst. anything else, yeah, ask if you can try a bite after they've started on it
I have never done this without permission, because I would be ticked if I caught someone doing it to me without asking. The only exception is something like French fries with my mom, where sometimes one orders and the other doesn't, and it's just an ongoing thing that we snitch some if we want to, but even then it's in an open, joking way knowing that sharing is condoned. If someone said no, I wouldn't do it.
100%. I have only ever asked for a bite of something at a restaurant or to try some of someones snack. Sometimes if me and a friend are both torn on the same two meals, we'll each get one and split them in half to share. The only time I just take without permission is just when I'm messing with my older brother, like stealing a fry, but after the lols I offer a nugget or one of my own fries because it's genuinely done out of love and fun and he's never told me to stop or I would have.
3rd story: it's so bizzare that she's taking a single bite out of food. Like if she was stealing snacks from her bf (e.g eating a slice of cake that was intended for the friend) but a single bite from every slice is like she's going out of her way to be an A-hole. Op is nta
I wonder if she had some kind of compulsion to claim food by taking a bite out of it. If she wanted a bite out of OP's food when they go to restaurants just to try it, it's annoying but somewhat understandable. But if she wanted to try some of OP's cake, she could've either taken a whole slice or a bite out of just one. Taking one bite out of every piece just screams compulsive behaviour to me, and breaking the lock so she could keep doing it is even more so. I wonder if she has a history of food insecurity and feels the need to "claim" every food she sees?
@@ldannu5627 the updates on Reddit are wild. iirc she trashed the place when she was supposed to be packing and leaving and her parents aren't really any better
Good on OP in the first story for standing up for themselves and not letting the parents move in. Once they move in, it's hard as hell to get them out of your home and out of your life.
That mom is so worried about Nora being treated equally that she never actually asked Nora what she wanted. Shy, quiet girls tend to be home bodies. They don't typically want to go out and party with friends ect. They need space and time to open up to people. There's no problem with Amy being an extrovert and Nora being an introvert. Let the girls be who they are. What matters is if the OP treats her daughter's equally not everyone else. That goes for any family dynamic not just step Siblings. You can't police the world to like and/or include your kid.
also she wasn't helping Nora make friends she was farther alienating her. its one thing to be the quite kid its completely different to be the dead weight everyone is annoyed by
@@theeviloverlord7320 exactly. She really was putting Nora in a bad predicament even though she had good intentions. Hopefully she learns from this and does better for her girls in the future.
Story 2, there’s nothing wrong with wanting your blended kids to be close but forcing it by making them share everything and forcing them to only attend events that include both of them is not the way to do it. You can’t force friendship that way.
Story 3: That is some bizarre behavior right there. Also, nobody I know ever had someone act like that. I just hope she stops that behavior wherever she goes, because she'll eventually cross the wrong person and it'll lead to some sort of painful ProRevenge
Story 2: That is how you get your children to stop talking to you and never tell you when something is wrong, by berating them for how they honestly feel (when the mother is the one who asked no less) instead of listening to why they're upset.
Third story- the gf took a bite OUT OF EVERY PIECE OF CAKE. I worked in food service at one point and I bake as a hobby. Hearing that made me say a couple expletives. I would much rather have her eat one slice of cake instead of EVERY DAMN PIECE.
That last story I identified with all too much. Dated someone for 5 years and supported them through everything. They had regular anxiety attacks that I helped them work through. The second I had my own problems, where I needed their support, they wanted nothing more to do with me. So much for an "equal" partnership.
As someone who had her youngest sister be actually born on her birthday... I've had to share my birthday since I was 9 years old. I cried because I didn't want to share my birthday because then it wouldn't be my birthday anymore. Well, suffice it to say, it wasn't fun having to stay home with the dogs when my family took my sister on a cruise one year for our birthday when we got a bit older. I wasn't even invited.
Second story I can tell you exactly what will happen. I have an identical twin brother. My family did their best to force us together because of this. My brother fought this by taking it out on me. Now we hate each other.
I have a twin sister, I couldn’t imagine hating her or not being part of each other’s life. I tell people with twins to treat them like two different people, because they are! My parents not have brothers and sisters that are twins so that’s probably why they did give us separate birthday parties sometimes and didn’t expect us to share every single aspect of our lives. We weren’t compared to each other either, other than a few teachers, mom stopped that quick 😂 I’m sorry your family did that to y’all and really hope y’all can work it out one day. Enough to at least be somewhat of friends.
As someone who literally watched 4 different grandparents/great-grandparents die in the hospital, Sam in the last story needs to grow tf up or spend the rest of his life alone.
I can say that op in story 2 is the AH. My sister and I have birthdays 4 days apart and not once did our parents EVER make us share a birthday. Making the kids pay the price for terrible parenting.
Story 1: OP was stupid to say they were saving for a house, but not nearly as stupid as their parents lifelong decisions. Story 2: OP forced both of these teens to share a birthday.... among other things. If one kid gets invited to a party and the other doesn't -- nobody goes? (What??) Does OP force both kids to share friends too? This is how you get sisters to resent each other. Story 3: I've heard this story before and my blood STILL boils when I hear OP's GF took a bite out of EACH. SLICE. OF. CAKE. When OP threw her out, I hope he sent her with takeaway bag ... with a big bite taken out of it. Story 4: What business is it of OP's in-laws as to what she and her partner do on their downtime? OP and their husband bond by playing games? NOT ON MY WATCH! You're supposed to ignore each other, watch the news and the home shopping channel until bed time! Story 5: ... OP, your roommate single? Sounds like a better partner than your BF. He got his mommy involved? REALLY, dude? I'm glad OP left.
Fourth story: The worst part is the reason why they haven't even cut contact with the ILs who clearly don't respect them playing video games is actually because it's part of their culture that they're told to always respect their parents. OP actually confirmed this in the comment section.
The last story: I lost my grandmother, who I was very close to, and had to be in and out of the hospital for that. While I would be worried about the man in my life if he told me he went to the hospital, I would want to stay in the loop and check in on him. OP's boyfriend doesn't seem like that type. And he got his mother involved??? Geez.
Same here. That guy just seems like a giant wussy who runs to his mommy because she enables him. I understand he has anxiety, but he needs to grow up, be proactive and get some therapy or meds to better manage it. I could NEVER leave the man I love hanging like that.
For the siblings, I totally understand where both girls are coming from, especially as teenagers now. OF COURSE they want they're own birthdays, their own sleepovers, parties etc. because they're individuals!! Growing individuals who need they're own things. Forcing them to share everything all the time won't bring them any closer to each other 🤦♀️ clearly. And then grounding the one sibling AFTER asking her why she made the choice she did and taking away HER THINGS by force? Big BIG oof!!!
I remember the second story, and people were (rightfully) trashing OP for her actions. A fair amount were in agreement in the appalment that her parents and family didn't give equal gifts--married family is still family, only getting one half-assed gift for your new step granddaughter is hugely assholish. But other than that, OP is incredibly in the wrong, and last I knew, couldn't seem to come to grips with it
Second op has her hand out for everyone else to make it up to Nora, but never once thought about reaching into her own purse for something to give. She knew she couldn't make anyone in her family share, but she did have power over Amy.
*First OP:* OP tried to warn her parents not to fall for these scams, but they ignored her. Screamed at her, even. There’s no reason for OP to mess up her finances because of her parents’ actions. OP is NTA. *Second OP:* To quote Sophia from The Golden Girls, OP’s heart is in the right place, but I don’t know where the hell her brain is. OP’s (and her wife’s) first mistake is throwing a joint birthday celebration for Amy and Nora. Then OP gets mad at her family for only giving Nora a Tumbler while giving Amy a lot of gifts (*Side note:* Nora got a lot of stuff from her family, so I don’t see the problem). Then OP _grounds_ Amy _on her birthday_ for not sharing _her_ gifts with Nora. _And_ OP makes Amy and Nora go to parties together and force them to cancel if only one of them is invited. OP is TA. *Third OP:* If I’m understanding this correctly, OP’s girlfriend takes a bite out of a piece of food, then puts it back!? That alone is grounds for a break up. In all seriousness, OP stated his boundaries to his girlfriend, and the girlfriend overstepped them. OP is NTA. RSlash’s statement at the end reminds of the expression I hear about some (not all) women in relationships: “_my_ money is _my_ money, and _your_ money is _my_ money!” *Fourth OP:* What’s wrong with playing vide0 (spelled that way because YT) games? At any age? As long as playing vide0 games doesn’t interfere with other responsibilities, then who cares? Maybe OP and her husband’s parents would stop reprimanding them for playing vide0 games if they threaten to take away their visiting rights to see the grandchild. Also, if the parents weren’t so against OP and her husband playing vide0 games, then OP wouldn’t have to lie to her MIL which lead to this situation. OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* OP was just updating her boyfriend on how she’s doing. OP’s boyfriend expressed how OP’s photo gave him anxiety, and he removed himself from the situation by leaving OP’s message on read. It is weird that OP’s boyfriend’s mom had to explain to OP why the photo gave him anxiety instead of telling her himself, but maybe he’s keeping his distance for his mental health, I don’t know. This might be a controversial opinion, but I’m gonna say NAH. After the update, I change my score to NTA. It looks like OP has a good support system in her roommate, so she’s better off without her ex. I hope OP’s ex gets therapy to deal with his anxiety.
Story 2: "If one is not invited then neither can go" That line in particular got to me. The mother is punishing both girls for having different friend groups. This lady needs to pull her head out of her ass and realize that siblings are not attached at the hip.
@@H-to-O Let me try: comment. Video. RU-vid. Bot. Mod. Huh. It works now. I guess RU-vid changed its comment filter settings because it used to remove my posts in the past.
Story 1 : NTA.. nahhh bro you're parents had seven million chances to learn and they didn't.. when you're kid is smarter then you.. that's a problem.. Story 2 : Esh but the kids.. favoritism in anything sucks.. but op making any kid share gifts isn't being a good person it helps build resentment down the line.. just stop inviting those a holes to anything anymore.. Story 3 : NTA.. nahhh op your girlfriend is a food thiefs.. next time you bake save some for you somewhere else and put full bottle of laxatives in "you're food".. Story 4 : NTA.. restraining order time.. Story 5 : Not enough info.. did op know about Sam Grandfather passing?? Also Sam is 19 can't he talk for himself?? Update : Yeah Sam is a mommy boy .. f that child.. op you're better off than that immature kid.. I change it to NTA .. Sam sucks
That cheating story sounds EXACTLY like my fiancée and I. We work from home and play games after work is done for the day until late in the night. We also rarely go anywhere. I'm trans, so no pregnancy is involved but WOW. I was about to turn around and ask my fiancée if they wrote a story on Reddit about us until I heard the pregnancy point. XD
The story about the GF taking a bite out of OP's food is almost a bit concerning. Personally, if I were eating dinner with someone and they had a different meal than myself, I would never go beyond the action "hey, do you mind if I try a little bit?" and if they refuse, then that's completely their decision and I will respectfully not take a nibble. And yes, I fully expect this in reverse Of course, there are tons of stereotypes about the bf getting a meal and the gf starts eating off their plate. Some guys may be ok with this and think it is a funny "cute" thing but others, like myself and OP, clearly don't appreciate it. And the fact that she just takes the first bite is very weird. The thing with the cake though is on a COMPLETELY different level. It doesn't even come close to the situations mentioned above. Like what is her purpose in doing that? Hey, a couple days ago, I bought a 6-pack of muffins for breakfast. Guess what I had for breakfast this morning? A SINGLE MUFFIN. I did not just open the pack and take a bite off the top of all six. What she did is honestly quite concerning. This is either her just being a (female dog), or this is some sort of mental disorder that really should not be overlooked. Either way, OP needs to get away from her right now
First Story, NTA: There is nothing wrong with not being apart of ur parent’s stupid decisions. This reminds me of my late dad, he was buying a lot of gift cards to send to someone to win a “prize” Second Story, YTA: After hearing that OP made her daughter share everything with her step-daugher shows that this is horrible parenting. The fact OP punished Amy for refusing to share this one thing is messed up Third Story, NTA: What OP’s girlfriend did is selfish not cute. She broke a lock for snacks to take a bite of food?! This is just power plays and a massive red flag. She wants to show dominace over OP’s stuff Fourth Story, NTA: Knowing that both OP and her husband play games a lot how is it OP’s fault that they jumped to that conclusion? There is nothing wrong with gaming, hell I’m a proud gamer and so is my gf. My mom put me onto gaming Fifth Story, NTA: OP just realized that her ex was a red flag. OP can do better than this man child
Story 5: Before the update, I was willing to cut the boyfriend some slack. Like, okay, fear of hospitals is a thing, and if it's igniting some PTSD then sure. He could probably have been more forward on that point, but whatever. And you know, maybe he DIDN'T involve his mom, but rather she involved herself. But then the update took all bets off the table. He is definitely got some problems, and they're not ones you can or should be expected to deal with.
Wait... wait... she... she took a single bite out of EVERY SLICE OF CAKE? WHAT THE HELL, WHO DOES THAT? Having a bite of one slice, sure. Hell, eating an ENTIRE slice, okay! But... but just.... a SINGLE bite.... from ALL EIGHT SLICES...?! That's some serious psychopathic shit
GF story: Things are only cute if both people in the relationship agree on that. Lady, you're living there RENT FREE and you can't be bothered to show a modicum of respect? Every single slice had to have a bite taken out of it? Why!? Just eat a whole slice! What!? It's all the same cake, each slice is going to taste more or less the exact same. Wtf? Edit: You can't just tell another person that they're supposed to love something. Especially when they repeatedly tell you how much they *don't* love it. And no, not all girlfriends do that. Not a single one of my girlfriends would have ever been so stupid and selfish as to take bites out of every single piece. A smart person would've just taken a whole slice of their own and left the rest alone.
She wasn't hungry and didn't give a shit about the taste of the cake~ She was mentally ill, and did that purely to harass OP (believing that harassment equals love).
I never steal my husband’s food!! I don’t know any girl who does that every time, or any man who thinks it’s cute. Who takes a bite out of each slice of cake? She didn’t know if it was going to someone else.
Agreed...... and honestly who wouldn't assume a cake, that is pre-cut but still whole, isn't already destined for a bake sale or commission or gift or payment. And a bite out of every slice is definitely like a dog peeing to mark territory. Psycho or toddler......and since this isn't a Hollywood movie and there isn't a legit 3 year old inside that adult body, I vote psycho. Lol
@@ladysaber3464 exactly. Like we all saw in out kindergarten days....thar one awful kid who would lick multiple treats to keep them from the other kids.
s2: how well does the stepdaughter really know the family? it's hard to get things for people you don't know unless they give you a list. i get wanting things to be 'equal', but that's not always fair to one person. there sounds like there was no discussion between nora and amy about wanting a joint birthday party--that's sooooo unfair to amy! and not letting her have her own things? that's how you build resentment... amy's going to come back to r/entitledparents one day about her mom.
No one owes anyone's gifts. Should they give a better gifts to the stepdaughter sure but no one any one owes someone a gift. Just because you except some as family doesn't mean other have too.
@@LLandS18 where did i say she deserved a gift? i asked a very fair question of "how well does she know the family?" because 1) if they live out of state/country, they may not know her well at all, despite her being in OP's life for 3 years and 2) that would explain the rather lackluster gift in comparison to amy, who they know and love. i never said she was owed a gift. just that it was hard to give a gift to someone you don't know without there being a list or a prompt.
@@RPGPaenda I was agreeing with you sorry I didn't write that in the poster wasn't clear but you really need to calm down and not attack people on the internet. Honestly if you're going to get that butt hurt because somebody dared comment back maybe commenting on the Internet isn't for you
@@RPGPaenda Yeah, this was exactly my thought on hearing this story. If all the extended family that sent Amy a gift live far enough away that they couldn't come for the birthday, there's a real chance they've never even met Nora or OP's new wife. OP can demand they send gifts for Nora all she wants, but that doesn't mean that they have to do anything for her, no matter how OP feels about it. Now I'm not saying the OP's out of town family aren't being buttholes, only that there isn't conclusive evidence that they are. I just don't think we know enough about the background of the families involved in this post to draw a conclusion on that front. Which is the only real thing I disagree with R/slash about when it comes to this story. Because while he didn't give them a butthole score, what little he did say about them shows that he fully believes they were being buttholes.
Last story: NTA! My husband has a horrible fear of hospitals after spending the majority of his childhood sick. He have been with me on multiple hospital and ER visits because he knew that I needed him there. He’s in a constant state of panic but stays calm and holds my hand when I need him. It’s called in sickness and in health!
I looked it up on the step sister story and there's an update where op accepts that she made a mistake and taked/apologized to both girls. It turns out the girls are indifferent to each other at best, and forgave op for her poor parenting. They also gave Amy her own room in the basement (Amy's choice) and the weird invite rule got dropped so they're all on ok terms now.
Literally....it is a power play.....just like when we were in kindergarten and one kid would do it to claim extra treats since once someone bites or licks something it is considered contaminated and theirs now. So definitely diabolical
I've never felt more disgusted in a person until I heard the second story.. What the actual fuck is wrong with OP?! Forcing both daughters to do EVERYTHING together? And punishing them if one of them isn't invited?! Jesus christ! RSlash should have totally given her a higher AH score...
The girlfriend taking bites of the food is like a cat that pees on stuff all over the house to mark its dominance. What she’s doing is not cute, but it IS really disrespectful and disgusting.
I'm glad the first OP didn't fold to their parents. They'd come home one day with the locks changed, all their expensive electronics and any jewlery gone.
12:00 ok, I feel like the correct action, is to cut the relatives off until they realize that shaming someone for their hoppy is only going to drive people away from you
The Amy/Nora story is sad. They should should have had their own day, even if it was small. But the way OP’s family treated Nora is really fucked up too. Amy shouldn’t be forced to share her gifts or her friends with Nora. They are different people and they deserve to be treated as such.
I mean, if he had asked Amy nicely to give her some of her gifts and accepted when she declined, it would be fine. But this only made Nora more scared of talking to Amy and made Amy annoyed at Nora's presence. If Amy can't even meet up with friends without Nora, she's probably angry every time and Nora surely knows that. You can't force everybody to like someone. I think the idea of a shared birthday party is fine, but why the hell did she get only one gift? If the parents already gave her theirs, all they had to do was explain to her that Amy got more because she had lots of friends. She's not five and while it may have made her sad, now she's going to be even sadder cause her step sister is going to hate her. Good job, parents
Perfect timing! Need something to block out the sound of my brother playing with our dog way too loudly. (Way too many smooch-da-pooches that aren’t mine
why would op ground her daughter for something SHE (op) royally screwed up? also props to the gaming couple for keeping their cool despite backlash from their family.
Because being told you're wrong is supposedly disrespect. Supposedly. And yeah, on the second point. If gaming is so childish, then why are so many of them rated M? TBH, I'd just tell the parents that I'm an adult and they have no say on what goes on in my house as long as it isn't illegal, which playing video games certainly isn't.
@@akl2k7 excellent points on both. I think it's funny that other people think video games are only for kids. ok, fine. I can pull up a list of 10 video games that are NOT for kids. the most bloodiest, disturbing, violent, and explicit games ever. and if they can tell me those games are kid-friendly, THEY'RE the ones with the problem.
16:50 ok I disagree on that point. If you're invited to a party for two people I feel like it's the expectation that if you bring a gift you least bring two gifts of relativity equal value.
And the reason why they ignore OP's warnings is because she's the kid, and therefore, she should be the one who listens to the adults and do as they say.
@@spydersoup8447 that happens in my house a lot, and only with me. The only times I open my mouth to insist on something is when is so obvious, but I'm told to shut up and then get angry at me when I say that I told them. My parents aren't at the level of OP's parents, mine are real adults.
I feel for OP and her husband, I'm just glad my fiance's mom and my parents arnt that crazy. We are also like this couple we're introverts and only go out if we need groceries.
