r/AmITheA**hole for Not Giving My Mother-in-Law a Free House 

OP should NOT remove their name on her husband's mother's house. Once she does, the mother is no longer going to be held liable to pay back even a single penny of that loan back. This way, if she refuses to, they have leeway since their name is on the deed.

“OP, you ruined R’s career!” R ruined his own career by refusing to accept “no” as an answer and harassing her in retaliation. If I was an employer, I wouldn’t hire him. That’s a potential harassment/assault lawsuit down the line.

"Am I the butthole after ruining his career after he harassed me and got his friends to harass me." Wasn't the girl's fault the guy was a jerk. And hey, she didn't even bring it to the department head, he just happened to come across it. I'm so tired of harassment victims getting all the blame for "ruining people's lives." Or even just being viewed as heartless for "hurting people's feelings." I say this as a harassment victim myself. Happened WAY too many times, never went to that length of destroying someone's career, but when I talk about it, people STILL say I was in the wrong for saying no.

The fact that everyone is victim blaming and gaslighting that girl into thinking she's the wrong one is so despicable.

"Because of girls like me". For the love of god OP take what your professor said to the department head. This is 100% victim blaming and this is "just" for "regular" harassment. Also tell the department head about this so they can make a note of it (if they can't do anything else, they can at least do this) so that way if you currently or in the future have to take this professor's class(es) then you have it pre-noted that this professor has negative basis towards you in case anything happens.

The last story: it sounds like OP's wife is essentially angry at him for not being alone on his birthday, and that's so sad..

College student story: she should report the professor as well. It's none of his business and extremely unprofessional.

The wife in the last story is 100% cheating. Literally ignores her husband to have a sleepover with her "friend". Then the husband keeps his plans and hangs with a friend. Then then wife gets mad and accuses the husband for nothing. Guilty af

Okay, so the harassment story. They guy hasn't even tried to apologize so how can OP "forgive" him. Once the harasser actually apologizes then JUST MAYBE OP can forgive him.

For the paternity story, she should claim it all and rent out the house to the siblings unless OP needs it. They can still live there but they have to pay.

"apparently in my college, this kind of behavior is labeled as harassment" No ma'am. This kind of behavior is labeled as harassment everywhere. Or at least it should be.

It's really suspicious that the husband so adamantly wants his wife to take her name off the deed.

Birthday story: something almost identical happened to me. My ex wife decided she was going to "visit her mom" and was leaving 2 days before my 30 birthday. I asked her to wait until the day after. No tickets bought or anything yet and she said no. Turns out she spent the week with her high school boyfriend.... I'm getting similar vibes here

“…Potential careers of men are ruined” Yeah, men who harass women when they don’t get what they want. Honestly, I’m surprised the teacher never suffered the same fate with that kinda thinking Op is NTA.

“This girl rejected me, here’s her number so you can go harass her!” “Damn no wonder she rejected you.”

I’m just blown away by the stupidity of OP’s dad. He got a DNA test that said she was his daughter, and then sent her the will so she could so easily take his estate away from her siblings? That’s honestly hilarious.

To the OP who’s considering taking all of the inheritance, when your husband says “don’t stoop to their level” the appropriate responce is: why not? They treated me like absolute shit for years, this is karma at it’s finest, and you know what they say about karma: she’s got a mean right hook. NTA OP and PLEEEEASE update this story when the time comes

This dude dug his own grave harrassing a girl for rejecting him, honestly he deserves to be suspended. She did NOTHING wrong, so shame on those who are bullying her into feeling bad about his bad decisions.

Story #3: She needs to report the Professor in this story because they diligently went out of their way to gain empathizers for the harasser yet nowhere is it mentioned that the professor contacted OPs parents, family, or any people that would be on her side as he did for the guy who got (rightfully) suspended. Then he continues to shame her like she is to blame for a grown man's behavior especially after she told him "NO" like WTF

Because of girls like HER we don’t have more men like HIM in a high position where can abuse their power

Oh my god the classmate story got my blood boiling. How can that teacher blame a person WHO GOT HARRASSED FOR BEEING HARRASSED

No means no. Don't be a jerk about it if someone doesn't want to date you. Move on and find someone that does. That goes for men and women. OP didn't ruin the guy's career, he ruined it all on his own.

"...Because of girls like me, potential careers of men are ruined..." This makes me gag. What the f. He did something that wasnt right. He is at fault. Im male too and this is disgusting.

I wonder if that husband is so insistent on OP signing her name off the deed because he plans on leaving her but doesn’t want her to get a portion of the house in the divorce

the college story makes me so fucking mad. professor p who pulled op aside to victim-blame her is disgusting. he's definitely the type to defend rapists who lost their football scholarship.

Last story: Let's set the potential cheating aside, since there is no evidence for that. But just imagine, if he'd decided to hang out with his friend on her 30s birthday. How long would he have to sleep on the couch for that.... on the couch of his parents that is, since she'd not letting him into their shared appartment again?

Super sketchy that the husband is pressuring his wife to get her name off the deed. Maybe I'm paranoid, but, wifey might be on the way out.

The last story sounds a lot like my ex-best friend. She was emotionally abusing me for 12 years just like op's wife is. I would sooo get a paternity test and divorce her.

"He just called me names while texting and I got him suspended" and harassment is just a word. Violent psychopaths are just people. Swords are just sticks. Your phone is just a screen. There's MUCH more to words than only the letters that make them; the dude was a creep, you turned him down politely, and then he went r/niceguys on you

The internships should always go the most capable. Someone, regardless of gender, proves they're not capable when told "NO!" and not accepting it with grace. Instead, he acted like a five-year-old and threw a tantrum that got out and was publicly seen. Had he acted like a decent human being that someone would love to work with, he resorted to a namecalling hissyfit. If he can't act like an adult then the timeout he earned is well deserved. I hope, in his timeout pouting, he learns that being an adult comes with acting like one. On the professors' end... Man... That POS needs a wake-up call! Gender has nothing to do with anything and for someone whose supposed to be an educator to come up with a sexist statement, in spite of the universitys' rules is unforgivable. He's earned a major strike on his record as well as a suspension as well, so he has the time to consider his dubious reality.

Story 1: The husband actually brought it up himself: mummy "would never cheat on us". Meaning that very idea of her cheating re the house was on his mind. The bigger red flag is the husband's insistence that OP "agreed" to sign over the money to the woman who hasn't even repaid the loan. The husband is definitely up to something shady and OP needs to protect her assets. Could be he's preparing for a divorce and is trying to sign joint assets to mummy dear. OP needs to consult a lawyer because the husband is trying to help his mother to cheat OP and is gaslighting her. She needs to protect herself against MIL and husband's suspicious shenanigans.

"Apparently in my college this kind of behavior is labeled as harrassment" I mean... good? Because that's literally exactly what that was? EDIT: Okay listening to more of that story and just... *my god,* the victim blaming going on here. OP literally did nothing wrong. She just called out a harrassing creep for being a harrassing creep and somehow a substantial group of people think *she's* the villain here?!

How much do you want to bet that the teacher still would have still argued that OP ruined the guy's career if he'd gone farther than just harassment. Because "You're ruining his life forever for just a short period of misbehaviour" is an argument used for much more serious crimes.

Regarding the third story: eff everyone except the placement mentor and the Department Head. R’s career wouldn’t have been ruined _by his own actions_ if he hadn’t been a Nice Guy™️ to OP. And he got his friends to cuss her out, too? WTF!? Regarding the last story: I didn’t even consider OP’s wife’s “sleepover.” I think you might be on to something. OP should probably hit up Maury

2nd story: R sounds like one of thoses "nice guys." Op shouldn't blame herself for what happened. Like, just because someone doesn't go out with you, doesn't mean you harass them. R made his bed, now he has to lie in it.

To people saying it's unreasonable to suspect cheating in the last one, I actually disagree. 1. "An old friend" (a cliché, really) calls and she immediately jumps at the opportunity despite her husband's birthday, and the friend is still available for 2 weeks and DOESN'T only have that 1 day? 2. Disregarding someone's 30th as just another birthday? And she wants us to believe that SHE'D be ok if the scenario was reversed? No way. I'm actually someone who doesn't really care for birthdays, but if my important milestone ones were ignored, then even I'd be upset. 3. A "sleepover" mostly only happens as an adult when you're drunk or having sex (maybe due to weather), and the wife shouldn't be doing either. I know most of this audience is obviously underage, but this just doesn't happen anymore after you're a teenager. After you graduate high school, the only reasons you don't sleep in your own bed are weather, inebriation, and sex. 4. Getting mad that he still went to the reservation even though she made herself unavailable? WTF is this even? 5. IMMEDIATELY jumping to hostile hypocrisy is ALWAYS a HUGE red flag, regardless of the scenario. It's obviously projection and attempted manipulation. Either she's cheating, or she's just abusive. Both are bad.

Good morning!! Time for the daily dose of rslash exposing me to the outside world and me remembering why I live in the woods and avoid society!

I laughed out loud soooo hard when OP revealed that she is acc the ONLY biological child😂😂malicious compliance

Actions have consequences. People needs to learn this.

as far as that last story goes... my wife too had sleepovers with her gay best friend, claiming it was "girl's night" to see his new condo and drink wine.... then I found out she was getting her back blown out at a hotel with a coworker & that's the story of why I have an EX-wife... 🤦🏼‍♂️

OP should report professor P as well. He's letting personal misogyny affect his judgment! It's a patricentric atmosphere at that university like most others. The kid who harassed was raised to be a predator by his entitled enabling mother.

Sounds like a few of these extra “managers” need to roll up their sleeves and grab a mop. So many entitled people believe they deserve it easy.

Wait, so in the paternity story… OPs dad accused OP and her mother of sleeping with the test guy…when the test was for OPs 13th birthday? Damn

Yeah, OP at 6:00 didn't set the punishment, and she made herself very clear when this guy asked the first time that she wasn't interested. Dude got himself into this mess, it's not her responsibility to get him out.

The classmate story is just disgusting, its again a story of how the douchebag turn the harassed victim into the bad guy cause she "dared" to speak up. And that teacher is simply pathetic. No ! Men who ruined their career are doing it on their own cause they can't control their penises and that' all

The OP NEEDS to turn R's favorite professor in for misconduct of some kind because what he did is not okay. This is disgusting.

For the first story I’d be surprised if the husband isn’t trying to get her name off of the property before he files for divorce.

America: *emphasizes individual freedom, getting yours* Also America: "Why is no one being a team player!?"

You did something nice LOANING HER ALL YOUR CURRENT SAVINGS and now you're husband wants you to take your name off the house no this seems really weird like this screams SCAM

19:10 Not only a pregnant 28 year old woman having a sleepover with "an old friend" on her husband's birthday, but one who IMMEDIATELY became hostile, hypocritical, and disingenuous. That sounds like projection.

I love the idea of the siblings having no way to support themselves without the father's estate. How could a human being possibly survive with out their family's money, lol.

So OP is TA because she wont accept being a scapegoat for management? Because "they're struggling"? No. No its NOT OP's fault that when doing the job of three people she can't find the time to take on the jobs of a fourth or fith. Being a team player does not mean being the whole goddamn team!!!

Harassment story. OP, you are NOT the AH. Stand firm. Dude, mommy, friends, and professor can all do eff themselves. You don’t owe him anything. No is no.

Last story: NTA, why is it ok for the wife to go out with her friend on OP's birthday but not OP to go out with his friend on HIS OWN birthday? OP, your wife is being manipulative and abusive. Massive red flag.

I literally SCREAMED at the college story! I am literally angry at everyone who victim blamed OP!

As a girl I have been harassed many times, and stories like the third one make me so sad and angry since that has happened to me as well. People don't realize how awful it feels to be treated like that just because you are a female. NTA AT ALL.

For the "True Paternity" story, OP's dad should have left those half-siblings nothing more than A BOOT TO THE HEAD in his will.

That first story is a huge red flag for both the mother and husband

For the paternity post i loved it because as soon as the husband said not to stoop to their level I just knew that if I was in OP's situation I would do the same lmao

Birthday story: I have a very strong suspicion that she might have cheated on him on his birthday. Blowing up about it after doesn't really make sense unless you try to justify cheating to yourself. "Sleepover" party much huh. Could also be that she thinks he knows and just took some other girl to the restaurant

Story 3: OP is NTA, that perv was just throwing a tantrum and he got rightfully punished, he has to accept the consequences for his' actions

The paternity test one with the will sounds like it will make for a good addition to the “malicious compliance” subreddit if OP decides not to warn their siblings... just saying lol

OP should take the papers and say she'll read them and think it over. Then scan and save them to a flash drive along with several other documents with her real signature on them just in case. She should also send copies of the files to a lawyer that specializes in property disputes for them to read it over as well and save every e-mail exchange with them. Do the same with the title company that handled the sale of the house. Then hand the papers back still not signed back to the husband and say after reading the papers that she's still not comfortable with the idea of signing the house over. Reason for doing all that is to cover her bases just in case OP's husband or the MIL forges OP's signature to sign the house over to MIL. OP will then have more than enough evidence and reason to oust MIL if she so desires.

OP is right. A lot of places talk big shit for people who are practically crawling on their hands and knees to fill positions. Also, anyone else notice that a lot of the stories are petty/pro revenge candidates that had doubts? They need to own that fact that some people got what they deserve.

"It's girls like you" OOH GIRL fuckin put him on blast too, sis. Goddamn.

The OP in that college story should file an ethics complaint on that professor too.. He should lose his job for that.

In the last story the wife's behavior mixed with her abandoning him for some unknown friend is a pretty good case for cheating in my opinion. No one reacts worse to a partner spending time with someone else than a cheater.

You know what minimum wage says about the employer? If I could pay you less, I would.

That last story hit me. If mum remembered my birthday at all it was hell, and god forbid I ask for anything or to celebrate because the day of my birth was the worst day of her life. Having the celebration of your existence minimalized in to "how dare you be happy" with a side of "you will be punished" is something I wish on no one.

the third story is a perfect example to why MeToo needed to happen. This is disgusting.

Adults can have sleepovers too. We’re usually too busy and can’t but it’s not a bad thing. HOWEVER the rest are red flags so it’s definitely possible her sleepover isn’t with who she says it is.

story 2 : that was EMPLOYEE PR0N that feels GOOD. saying she's the asshole because they're struggling? SHE LITERALLY STOPPED THEM IN THEIR TRACKS WHILE MAKING A MISTAKE. the main reason alot of employers dont have employees right now is because people realized they dont HAVE to take garbage. management letting people go for really dumb reasons is the same reason why they're struggling. if anything, she's doing them a favor.

I still find it funny how a guy can act like a dog but all of a sudden he is the victim when he faces consequences

I'm regards to the third story with the 'nice guy', OP should threaten the nuclear option; get placement involved because I imagine they'd love to hear a student is getting harassed by staff and R's family like that

Imagine if R got in a position of authority. Op is saving the careers of lots of women in the future.Edit: if what R did wasn't wrong, op wouldn't be eligible to file a complaint against him.

I find it crazy the mindset that a man's future is worth more than the Dignity/ and safety of a person in every single way. It's shame full I've seen many stories out of the u.s. where guys assault women and people and somehow they're still victims? Brock Turner assault a woman and the judge takes pity on him because he has a bright future , you know what F off

Surely that professor was also harassing the girl she should have reported that too

I got an ad right after you said "bro" at 10:06. It literally went like "bro, bespoke post sends you this box filled with just cool things." Like it was timed so perfectly and fit surprisingly well

The last story was wild. I hate celebrating my birthday. But for my 30th my girlfriend went ALL OUT. And it was actually nice. I can't imagine somebody planning a birthday and then dipping and getting mad that you still went.

RSlash: I don’t know, a 28 year old woman having a sleepover party? Seems fishy Me, a 31 year old man about to get snacks and alcohol to have a sleepover to rewatch Arcane and play D&D: 😐

I'm going to need an update on that last one! I wanna know if OP resolved his issues with his wife. I agree with you that she's the manipulative one trying to gaslight op and turn the situation focus on her.

For the third one: This is a classic example of victim blaming. OP is absolutely NOT at fault here. After she told him 'no', he disrespected her boundaries and eventually retaliated because she didn't want to date him. That IS sexual harassment. Oh, the professor is mad because girls 'like her' ruin bright men's futures? What about men like him ruining the futures of bright women? What about all the women who are subjected to sexual harassment and live in fear for the rest of their lives? OP's friends and that professor are also part of the problem. These people are creating an extremely unsafe environment for victims to speak up. That guy deserved punishment, that way he will think twice before sexually harassing someone like that again.

In the paternity story - opie's plan to take the money and use it on her nephews is great. Both punishing the siblings for being a$$ holes and supporting the innocent parties that would otherwise be affected.

I feel bad for the guy in the last story. She’s red flag city and OP can’t even get out of that relationship because she’s pregnant.

Whatever you do first OP... DO NOT TAKE YOUR NAME OF THE HOUSE. NEVER. EVEN IF IT COSTS YOUR MARRIAGE. Second OP negative 500 butt holes out of 5. Management spend more time harassing and bullying their staff members than they do working.

that third one.. OH NO, HE SUFFERED THE CONSEQUENCES OF HIS OWN ACTIONS..

That 4th op should allow her siblings to create their own downfall and tell her husband to butt out or beware of the consequences.

That last story is literally one of those where op didn’t even have to post honestly. Also Rslash has a point, he needs to definitely get a test for the child.

I'm sick rn and your videos are what keeps me up in the morning. Even at school I listen to these. Thank you, you beautiful being

Never sign anything like that. You do not legally have to! Do not fall for it if they say you have to either. I always have refused to sign, they may not like it but they are usually just BS anyways. I wish someone had told me that when I first started working. DO NOT SIGN.

college harassment story: my absolute FAVORITE line was when the professor told OP that its “women like her that cost men careers.” seriously, it’s baffling to imagine the mental gymnastics involved in deciding that its the girl’s fault for reporting the boy’s bad behavior, not the boy’s fault for behaving badly.

On the last story can we give his friend negative 100 points as it was short notice and they had a great day

Story 3: Do the crime, pay the price. Simple. As. That

That story with "R" is sending off a lot of red flags so good for OP for standing their ground. It's not about "just a bunch of namecalling over text". The fact that R could not take rejection and the way he talks as if OP is indebted to him for "giving them time to think it over" is just the tip of the iceberg of what harm he can potentially do. The fact that his mother sounds like a Karen shows pretty much why he's like that and it doesn't help that his teacher enables him too. Ten bucks says that teacher also has skeletons in the closet--it's an extra red flag seeing a professional, grown man like that get into this kerfuffle and taking sides (and the wrong side too, at that). I hope OP knows that they did the right thing and not let the words of an entitled brat and his entitled parent and his misogynistic teacher define them and their self confidence.

"Because it's minimum wage, asshole!" has got to be one of my favorite quotes from this channel.

OP in first story should not remove name out of the documentation not unless they get paid the money back. If the name is removed from documentation then OP can say farewell to the 90k because they never going to see them ever again. It's simple as that. MIL is trying to weasel her way out of paying the money. Second story. If management is under pressure then instead of shooting themselves in the foot they should focus on making the workplace more attractive. Wife in last story is super toxic. She's the controlling one and that's a major red flag.

What kind of house are you getting for a 90K+ down payment???? Unless they were helping give her money to buy it outright. Honestly they should have just agreed to rent out their current home to her at the mortgage/insurance rate as the payment.

That girl who got harassed by a classmate really didn't deserve the flack she got from her classmates, the guys parents and her teachers. How are these people surprised that his actions have consequences? How are any of them excusing his behaviour? Why aren't the parents talking to their son to go and apologize for his behaviour? Do these people think that men like that won't continue doing things like this in the workplace too? I hope that girl doesn't apologize and that the guy suffers the 3 months of suspension.

Classmate's career story - OP is *NOT* the asshole. I'm so sick of people defending creeps and trying to force their victims to "forgive and forget" in the hopes that the whole thing will go away, which is exactly what creep, creep's mother, creep's friends and the professor who favourites creep are doing. By trying to guilt OP they are essentially telling her that what creep did is no big deal and that she is somehow in the wrong and it sends the message to creep that he can harass more women in the future because he can get away with it. Creep is an entitled loser who needs to learn what 'no' means and that his constant refusal to take no for an answer is his own fault!

Half the time management doesnt even pull their own weight they just sit on their asses and watch everyone struggle then yell at us for not making goal or some shit