It makes it worse to know that some people will intentionally not do anything about them earning money, as they know their S.O. will get a raise, or has a better job than them. And in the final story, it seems the guy is In the business for association with someone in the higher ups. It’s not normal for an employee to act like that In a professional place of work.
Best comeback ever 🤣🤣🤣 Nepotism baby 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 ... Even more hilarious when my family has dealt with that. My husband was wrongfully fired and when there was an investigation they found the manager gave the bogus reason to hire MORE family. After my husband was fired there were family members in every shift. Whole lot of nepotism babies got terminated and my husband got unemployment for way longer than normal. He totally cant report it cuz hed get fired where as a normal employee would get a warning or strike against them
Eh, no not thats not really how reddit works. A lot of these posts are validation posts and fake karma farm posts. People make reddit accounts, farm karma on it and then sell it to spammers and brands. The easiest stories to get karma with are damsel in destress stories.
@@1985toyotacamry he said she laughed when his brother's hand was sliced open and he dropped something on his foot, and she's told the story while laughing.
@@Asmoodeusmilkers Oh, so being VERBALLY/MENTALLY abused ISN’T abuse? Those people at the CPS are the ones that needs the help mentally! The wife needs to be thrown into jail and OP needs to get full custody of the kids! Biologically his or not, he loves them like his daughters more than his so called “sadistic wife”!
*Last Story:* Just last month I had a coworker who literally was a nepotism hire and objectively was completely incompetent at her job. And she literally did call me a "diversity hire," too. She didn't last two days because she managed to alienate the entire lab staff in that time. It took the rest of us threatening to quit all at once for her to be moved someplace she couldn't do any damage. With the complete cluster**** the city council has caused, she's already been fired along with her stepfather.
I’m BEGGING her to file a report with HR, he sexually and racially insulted her IN FRONT OF A COLLEAGUE. The fact that her colleague wanted her to apologize to HIM??? Bro.
Story 4: No, you should have snatched it from him, refusing to give you back your credit card is more than enough reason not to trust someone. Also since he found out you canceled it trying to buy stuff, he clearly was planning on using it.
@@sophietremblay3795 My mom use my credit card with my premission, but she always give it back when she don't need it anymore and my finances are fine, I check.
My little brother did this to me, he had my card details on his Xbox, i would buy him a pack on game for his birthday or Xmas, and would watch him delete it, but somehow my details ended up on his Xbox and phones (yes plural) claims he didn't realise, but I'd never given him my details for something on his phone Now I don't trust anyone with my card or money, if my mother asks to borrow 20 for gas, I honestly question that's what it's for, even though my mother would never do that
@@Vi0letR0gue I have two smartphones. My primary and a backup on different provider networks. Being handicapped/housebound and living alone, my phone is my only connection to the world. I pay bills, shop for food, etc all online. Once had my only cellphone have battery overheat and swelling issues, and once lost phone service due to a CC problem. So now, I always have a backup. And NOBODY gets my financial info!
Story 1 is basically the Little Red Hen. OP is like “Hey my dude. You wanna help me grow the wheat, harvest the wheat, or make the bread?” “Nah.” But when the bread’s ready, it’s “But I’m huuuungry.” I seriously thought story 1 was going to end with her leaving him in her new paid apartment. Happy Thanksgiving weekend, Canadian r/slash folks!
@@chubbyanimalenthusiast70 yeah we do, we'd rather do that than celebrate a guy who nearly destroyed the Indigenous cultures in North America. Happy Columbus Day Weekend!
@@clevergray8754 Well, I'm speaking from a lot of reports of it from other people, thankfully I never had to deal with them or a similar agency. But I'm glad it's not universal. Maybe the kid can actually get some help.
I sadly dont think cps will take the kids away for brushing their hair dry and feeding them TV dinners and such. Heck I've heard hairdressers report kids for having moldy mated hair and nothing happens despite the pics. They just put the person on their radars but to take the kids away would require more than this :/
Story 2: This is abuse, you should have stopped a long time ago. It's clear your wife doesn't want your daughter to grow up better than her in any way possible so she sabotaged them, this is what CPS was made for Also as someone who has the same kind of hair, this woman is torturing these kids, ripping out those knots with no water hurts like hell.
Apparently they're not his kids, but he seems to care about their wellbeing more than their "mother" does. I guess maybe that's why he hasn't done anything to stop her yet.
Hell, I have completely straight hair and when it was long I always combed it with conditioner. I can only imagine what it's like for people with really textured hair.
I don't know if I call it abuse, I'm a black women ( Uk, Caribbean) and with the hair that how my hair was combed when I was young and I went to african hair dressers. With the laughing, my mum and family did that when I baked cookies when I was like 12. It hurt for like a few days then I got over it
Story 5: If your response to your fiancee getting a pay raise is to use them to pay for you and your friends' food, going as far as to not bring money to make them pay, you have issues and you need help
Yes. Unfortunately, it is unlikely this toxic person will go for help. He sounds really entitled and such entitled people are rarely able to see that they might be in the wrong. I do hope, however, that OP gets some help so that she can remove herself from that situation and also get in a better place in her life so that she no longer gets into this type of toxic relationship. (and I think the guy must have been toxic before the raise; this event just prompted him to behave in ways that allowed her finally see it in him).
Notice that the guy couldnt pay, the friend(s) couldnt pay so the guy had to get his brother to come bail him out. Sounds like the bum and his friends are nothing but bums too.
On the binocular story, some night vision goggles can see through light clothes and fabrics. I mention it because if his have that function, it becomes super creepy
@@benjie128 that's what I thought. There was a type that made news over a decade ago that were recalled when it was discovered they were popular for that very reason. Women everywhere threatened lawsuits and they disappeared.
@@NEPAAlchey it's OP's step children, but it seems like she just likes when people suffer. OP said that his brother sliced open his hand and dropped something on his foot and she laughed, and when she tells the story, she laughs.
Just because she supposedly got bullied in the past, but that doesn't justify the need to take it out on the kids! Sheesh woman, get out of here with your emotional abuse!
Story three: I hope OP has security cameras, recording every time the neighbor is trying to watch her with his binoculars. Whether he's ring to look through her windows or just sneaking around ogling her when she's in the back yard, it's sick and creepy. A KID might do it thinking it was funny, but an adult man is perving on her. And she needs something to prove her story both to his wife and to the cops.
In the final, am I the only one who thinks it's weird that the coworker had no probelm with Mike shit talking OP but was apparently upset when OP returned the favor? WTF?
Story 5: OP's fiancé sounds super jealous and salty about that raise. OP should definitely be reconsidering this relationship, because if this is how he acts before they get married, what will he be like after the wedding?
EXACTLY! Omg, it’s like, people have these genuine problems before marriage, that they RECOGNIZE as a problem/red flag that could lead to an ending and DONT work on it (couples counseling, talk about the exact instances that’s messed up, putting off the wedding and if they refuse to fix it and keep doing it BREAK UP) and choose to ignore it bc they’re excited for their new chapter and put the problems ’on hold’ until after the honeymoon! Often times waiting YEARS b4 showing some self respect and finally taking action. It shocks me hearing these Reddit stories when people say that they’ve been in a relationship for years, and it’s been great but…(proceeds to list very, very toxic problematic issues that shouldn’t have gone unchecked for that long). I’m trying to show some compassion, because a person doesn’t usually go nuclear over the first ‘grain of sand’, it’s usually after some time, that they are able to piece together all of the instances that don’t add up, and they finally paint a picture that tells them of the real person they’re with…I just hoped they’d talk about it (since OP realized a pattern that she didn’t like, and that he lied and did it again, she doesn’t need to wait for another instance in this situation) and come to some sort of conclusion/solution. But she didn’t mention the solution/conclusion. I just hope that she doesn’t go forth with a wedding when there is clearly this issue that she needs to work out first. Another example: I even just got done reading a Reddit story about a closet bridezilla gaslighting op into picking the wrong dress color, for months without telling her the color, to make her drop from the wedding, but OP found the right dress color and showed up, and it turns out the closeted bridezilla didn’t even have place settings for her. OP has told her brother, the groom, about these issues and he said it was ‘petty woman drama’ and ignored it for the most part. Ops brother ended up coming back from the honeymoon early and went to go stay at a hotel. They (bridezilla and rose colored glasses groom) ‘ reconciled‘ and the closeted bridezilla came back pregnant, when OP brother was strongly against having children bc he had cancer young. OP suspects that he was baby trapped or some thing. Moral of the story, if you get a chance to see someone’s true unfiltered character, especially right b4 the wedding, don’t ignore it because you’ve been in a relationship for X years. If you have to delay a wedding, it’s a lot cheaper than going through a divorce. Or worse, having a child you agreed you wouldn’t have.
@@bribri2925 Yeah... We all fall for some bad advice! We went to counseling until she stopped... Police were called, but everyone of influence from my church said I was wrong for calling the police for a disagreement. Things smooth out for a bit before getting M... Then things quickly disintegrated! The next time I called 911 because I was being choked out (much violence ensued from her prior). Looking back the giant red flags were all there!!! But I didn't know about Reddit and instead followed bad advice. Divorce was finalized 3 years later (she dragged it out to get me to pay my lawyer more $$$).
@@OldsmobileCutlass1969Va I’m glad you came out of there stronger and with self reflection. I hope your life is loads better without the dead weight holding you down
*First OP:* If OP's husband wanted his name on the deed, then he should've contributed to the Savings Fund. It's not fair to OP who paid for the house with her money. OP is NTA. *Second OP:* That sounds like abuse. I'm assuming OP is the girls' stepfather, so if their bio father isn't in their lives, or is worse than their mom, I hope OP can find a way to get custody of these girls. Either way, they need to get away from their "mom." OP is NTA. *Third OP:* This all could've been prevented if OP's neighbor hadn't spied on OP. And he blamed his kids for losing the binoculars? Classy. OP is NTA. *Fourth OP:* Is this financial abuse? Because it sounds like financial abuse. OP did the right thing by canceling her card and getting a new one. How did OP's boyfriend know OP canceled her card if he promised he wouldn't use it? I'm assuming only OP gets notifications from her card company. OP is NTA. *Fifth OP:* I like how OP's fiancé called OP selfish and cheap for not paying for his and his friend's meal after OP clearly stated that she wouldn't. And then the fiancé's friends were telling him to reflect on the type of woman he was going to marry? I hope OP's fiancé _does_ break up with OP so she won't have to put up with his BS. OP is NTA. *Sixth OP:* OP's colleague started the argument, and OP finished it. Was it professional? No. Was it necessary? Yes. OP is NTA. LOL at "Captain Whiny Pants"
reading the comments, i thought op was ta but tbh, it turns out he's a good stepfather, but he should become the dad that stepped up because he treats his daughters better than his wife and their bio dad
Final story: OP is NTA. Seems like she earned her position with the company, while M decided to act like a child over the situation. According to the comments, she's already looking for a new job, which sucks because it seems like she was doing well for herself.
@@lonewolf9578 well this is 2022, men and women are equal so.. He is in the wrong I know... But he is somehow in the right you know... I know it is and sounds stupid but this is the now. Unfortunately
@@redtom3022 how is he right? Everyone who acts like this is wrong. Just because one gender does it doesn’t excuse his behavior. Both genders should be treated with disgust when doing something like this.
@@lollyjollyflapjacks6078 here we go, women hating dude. Idk why he’d bring up women and then say the dude is right for manipulating, lying and stealing 😂 anything for a women not to be right with anything
On the second story, me and my sister are mixed, curly hair. My step dad used to rip his fingers through our dry hair and it hurt SOO bad. It is literal abuse. He laughed as we cried.
@@sophietremblay3795 oh it gets worse lol, as punishment when I wouldn't let her reef through my hair anymore, she got a hairdresser to cut it all 2 inches long 🙃 some people don't deserve to have control over others.
Story 4... the boyfriend flat out lied to OP. He promised he wouldn't use OP's charge card, then tried to use it. Distrust is absolutely justified, and his reaction after being caught only highlights the issue. OP needs to get out while they still can, who knows what other sorts of emotional abuse this might turn into.
Y'all, story 3 reminded me of one of my old landlords. When I was a child my family rented a single wide. The landlord lived up the hill from us with a clear view of the house. He would stand at the edge of his property with binoculars watching us. Two of my younger siblings got a pair of binoculars, watched him back and waved. He stopped for a few weeks after running back into his house.
if it was innocent, he should have been fine with the wife coming to pick them up. insisting like that would make OP look like an asshole too. but its not and he's a total peeping tom
Story 6: OP is a legend. That was the best telling off of someone I've heard in a while, and I bet it was liberating and felt better than the best cup of coffee.
Fifth story: OP is NTA. Her hard earned money shouldn't have to be spent towards for outings for her fiancee and his friends. They can pay for their own food and they know it. He's probably using his friends to guilt trip her over her refusal.
Story 1: I have no problem with buying experiences instead of things. I am mostly the same. But if you don't contribute to the paying of the house you don't get your name on it.
Totally agree I've not paid anything towards my partners house therefore I've put it in writing of we split up or he dies I have no claim to his house and we have been together for over 24 years and have 2 kids together. If he dies the house goes to the kids not me simple as that
Story 2: Op, you NEED to be this daughters shield, their mom is being a bully and they need a parent to guide them against their mother, be the good parent figure, they will appreciate it
Story 3: Become friends with peeper's wife. Don't say anything to her about it, but start hanging out. The husband will think you're telling her about it & end up outing himself to his wife. Also, he probably doesn't want her to know because she's caught him doing it before but he fed her excuses like he tried to do to you.
HR tends to prefer to avoid lawsuits. There was once a security guard at a place that I worked at who harassed a disabled woman about her medical supplies and then called someone else the "n-word". The "n-word" was a member of upper management and he was not amused, though he was very amused one month later when the security guard was arrested for gta.
Story 2: As someone with thick afro textured hair, what that mother is doing is torturing her daughters. Why isn't the father intervening??? Last Story: How pathetic that last guy is 🙄
Crazy how entitled some people are. Michael was clearly jealous that a black woman was better at his job than he was and lashed out. Funny how he calls her a bimbo, and tries to bully her, then gets butthurt when she lashes back with what's probably the truth. Typical high school bully level mentality. How's he even get the job? What a joke.
Story 5: Op should just dump this guy he obviously doesn’t care about what his Girlfriend is saying and just wants to look good in front of his friends.
Story 4: NTA; if the agreement was for OP to take care of all the finances, then they aren't being financially abusive, especially after the response to the boyfriend not giving back the credit card, and frankly, if he wanted to start contributing more, he could do so in other ways that don't involve using OP's money or credit card without their permission.
yeah contributing like getting a job. there are lots of different jobs out there that have lots of different requirements, some you don't even need skills to do. OP said he has health issues, but if he tried he could find a job that would work for him. it wouldn't be easy necessarily, but its not impossible. dudes just an ass, OP could do better
I hope the last OP is documenting everything. If they haven't talked to HR that should be on the list of things to do. Start getting everything he does to you in the work place documented and witness statements by a supervisor, a manager and co workers. Let HR know they have a set limit date to get this issue taken care of as every bit of information is also going to be shared not only with the EEO but every news station available. The company will be more than happy to settle things out of court and out of any public news media.
Story 2: what is wrong with this woman?? Did OP basically marry a narcissist who expects everyone to bend to her whim so she’s “always the one who’s right”? Those poor girls….
I don't know how reliable that witness would be in the last story, considering how she told OP to apologize but we were given no indication that she tried to help OP when Michael was harassing her.
Uhhh am I the only one panicking on behalf of the girl whose boyfriend stole her credit card???? What??? What is he trying to do- make sure you can’t spend money or get away if you need to? That’s step one- what’s step two? Taking your phone so he can handle your phone calls? What’s step three? Taking the keys to your car so he can drive you around? So you don’t have to leave? What’s step four? You see where I’m going? I don’t like that AT ALL!! His reaction tells me that’s exactly his plan and he wants to guilt you into doing what he wants. Please I hope she gets away.
Last story, 3 words.. hostile work environment. Document document document everything. If they try to retaliate in any way shape or form, call a lawyer.
Story 5: NTA; that doesn't sound like the kind of man someone should get married to and I hope OP breaks things off. And if the friends really did say that, they are shit people who shouldn't be listened to.
Story 1: NTA; he said he didn't want to buy a house, so he cannot just change his mind now that OP has bought one. And it's kinda sus that he wants to do this now.
1st story. OP’s husband is doing something more than just traveling. Op is in an one side open relationship. I guarantee he is having “experiences” on his separate vacations. These two are incompatible and OP is being used for security.
First story he reaped what he sowed Second story Q what kind of person takes pleasure from watching someone fail A someone who is insecure ops wife needs to make someone else look bad so they feel better Third story suuuuuuper creepy I agree with Rslash Forth story h…he…he robbed you Fifth story maybe he shouldn’t be the only one reflecting Sixth story ??? You gave him one hell of a wake up call but he’s to far gone to do anything about it
RSlash is one of a few RU-vidrs who helped me through some bad days too. Things will get better eventually. I hope your day/evening/night gets better soon! Peace, hugs and love to you!
The first story reminded me of the time I almost got divorced over a car. I've had my Focus before my wife and I started dating. By the time we got pregnant, I've already had it for 7 years. It's important to note that I am an avid driver, so the capability of the chassis is very important to me. My car isn't an obvious choice to surface car people, but I've put a lot of thought into what I drove and how I modified it. We've had a family tragedy, so to cope with the stress I hastily threw mods at my car and they didn't stick, I broke one of the axles in a corner (the bearings popped out the housing due to the new suspension geometry I didn't bother researching), so when I told my two weeks pregnant wife she instantly started pushing me to sell it and get an SUV. I hate SUVs, to me they lack the handling, aero, styling and comfort that the car they're based on provides, but she was adamant. As a sort of honeypot option she proposed we look into a Ford Kuga and that I consider a Toyota RAV4 that she's been eyeing. The agreement was that since we're selling MY CAR, the one that I BOUGHT WITH MY OWN MONEY BEFORE WE STARTED DATING, the final word is behind me. I yield, she is pregnant after all. We test drove both. While the Kuga is no Focus, it's still an eager little chassis with a pretty peppy automatic transmission, but the RAV4 is to this day the second worst car I have ever driven (the first is the Nissan Qashqai if anyone cares), and that's coming from someone who's OWNED AZLKs and Ladas and did his driving exam in a Chinese-built rebadged Chevy Lanos. When I told my wife that i pick the Ford, she's basically told me that I made the wrong choice. We've argued for a solid week and the fact that she doesn't drive and feels like she can dictate what I drive was a huge red flag to me, so I genuinely had divorce on the table. Her parents stepped in to save our marriage and bought the effing RAV4 so I can keep my Ford. Three years later I drive the RAV4 and let it chip away at my soul daily, but it's gonna be worth it because the Focus is now a full on project car and is gonna be wild. I am still incredibly salty, but I am proud that I stood my ground, there have been several attempts at controlling my choices, but I became better at detecting them at least. Not proud that her parents had to step in, but her mother did tell me once: "she's your problem now", so I guess that's telling. TL;DR: wife wanted a RAV4 and I didn't. So we compromised and bought a RAV4.
Last story: Rslash, this was more than a 1.5/5. This was a 3.75/5. You're white so you didn't notice it, but that man committed racial microagressions against his coworker time after time. That's a racial bias acted out in small ways that aren't noticeable in white people but are alarming in BIPOC. He called her EXOTIC: that's one of the ways white people described Africans during the enslavement trade during enslavement auctions. Calling her exotic means she's seen as abnormal, not worthy of humanity dignity & respect. He then called her a diversity hire, indicating she didn't get the job based on her merits but rather just to fulfill a "(we're) not racist, we have such and such, so we can't be..." by her boss and company. That too is a microagression, saying if she weren't a Black woman she'd not have been hired bc she's not good at what she does. This is racism via microagressions and it's higher on the list of asshole meter than a 1.5.
You said it all! I deal with this at work too. Oh you're the diversity hire...from coworkers. No they hired me because I'm the only one who applied for the shit pay at this job. Quit soon after they're still understaffed. Sucks to sucks.
Noticing a bit of a theme here: "Another person is lying to me, stealing from me, or otherwise doing blatantly illegal things. *Am I the butthole* for not putting up with it?" No. No you are not.
My mother taught me that you cannot tell anyone what to do with things that you did not buy yourself, and as such when my mother grounded me when I was a kid she did not take away anything that she herself did not buy me.
Story 5: I regard this as typical misogyny...and I'm not usually quick to think that. He's jealous and can't handle you out-earning him and he's punishing you for it.
The mother enjoying her childrens pain and fails. Smh. OP needs to step in and really let her know what she is doing to her kids. They are going to grow up and cut contact with her(hopefully) Dabney your comment about nepotism baby floored me. Roundhouse clap!!!
“I’d rather spend my money on experiences than a house.” I mean, same, but those experiences feel a lot better when I can enjoy the memories with a roof over my head
That last story! Nepotism hires do this crap SOOOOO much. I have a friend who had this same treatment. He gave the nepotism hire, who would effing sleep on the job, the same response as the OP and he said the guy looked like he was going to explode. Nepotism boy got fired and my friend still works with me 20 plus years later. I am a woman who was promoted into a management position. I had a.male co-worker who grilled me about how I got my position. He then said, "I honestly don't even know what you do," I responded with, 'Don't worry, I do and that's why I have this position." His face. 😂 He was one of the angriest laziest people I ever worked with and was mad he did not get promoted to managing human beings. 🤔
Story 5 : that behavior is a clear red flag ,the 30% seems to have uncover some buried insecurities in your bf , now the real question is, do you think he will get over it? If the answer isn't an immediate yes then you need an exit strategy because that will become the reason for him to milk you for money.
Story 4 - You never give your credit card to anyone. The reason being is that while you are responsible for anything that gets put on it. It is also against the terms of your credit card agreement for anyone else to use your card. By the boyfriend refusing to give it back OP did the right thing and simply pointed out that she could have disputed any charge made to the card if he didnt tell her and he would then be up for credit card fraud and theft when it got reported by the store it got used it. Also, his attitude to it all is a big red flag. The guy is unemployed and refusing to tell you what he wants it for, that is another big red flag. Tell him to get a job. Story 5 - She should have said the moment they were all about to order "Remember guys, your paying for your meal and drinks, I'm not a bank." She should also speak to his friends about him and tell them what he's been doing since you got the payrise, also speak to the inlaws and see what they say about it all. Last story - Sounds like that guy feels threatened. OP honestly should report M's behavior and point out that he got your back up to the point you said something he didnt like. His behavior is something that shouldnt be and the fact he pushed OP far enough to make them snap is going to happen again in the future, where there are NO witnesses and him likely recording.
Regarding the "30%" segment: I suspect boyfriend feels somewhat emasculated by OP's higher income and this is his way of getting some control over her. BIG RED FLAG.
Story 4: BF: How can you not trust me with the finances??? My response would've been: Well, if you can't trust me with MY OWN CREDIT CARD, then why should I trust you?
Story 3: file a police report and give the binoculars to the police. Let THEM return the binoculars and have a little chat with the guy when they do. If she’s really lucky, the police will make the return when his wife is home to witness. And all the neighbors are watching.
Story 2: that's 100% my mom-- a narcissist. Narc mom + daughter is one of the most harmful and insidious abuses. Love is earned, doing well is punished, doing poorly is punished. Any problems you have are stupid, she could do better. In high school I learned to fabricate problems so she couldn't use real ones against me to feel superior. If I lost weight so did her past self. I got the same hair thing and yes-- you don't make a sound. She (joyfully) complained to anyone who couldn't get away fast enough. She begged me wear her wedding dress just to immediately say that my SIL had looked great in it (she had never tried it on, she lived in a different country). I couldn't learn to drive until 18, "you'll just fail the test anyway" (btw, I got a perfect score). I got in SO much trouble when I got my first job... at 22, but she had me convinced I'd fail on my own and she was doing me a favor. I secretly applied to grad school with funding and got out at 25. She could of done grad school, she just "didn't feel like it". Any insinuation of an imperfection gets you the silent treatment (stonewalled) like OP got. Kids are hardwired to need acceptance and security. It is petrifying and they don't even know why. In adulthood I was still scared when it happened, its involuntary-- I could sooner stop breathing. Unless you meet the quota of apologizing, sobbing, and begging you simply don't exist for days except for being snapped & huffed at. Golden child is exempt. Dude has no idea he's watching what is almost certainly the start of depression, anxiety, heart problems, cptsd, a high risk of them not alive-ing themselves etc. I was so panicked on egg shells for 25yrs that I have tachycardia and I'm literally allergic to my own immune system. The latter could've been helped, but I wasn't allowed to go to the doctor (I wasnt really sick, she had it worse) and had no insurance. I went no contact a year ago and I still have nightmares of her hugging me and whispering in my ear how she was going to hurt me if I didn't look happy asap. If you got to the end of this, thanks.
Last story: As a Woman POC in IT, I totally identify with the last story. It's one of the reasons why I am choosing to go into business for myself. I don't need "diversity hiring" to prove my capabilities. My work ethic speaks for itself. We wouldn't need "diversity hires" if it weren't for assholes like that coworker!
Story 4: what...the...hell?? who just takes a card and declares that he'll just keep it. Isn't he the one who's being financially abusive? Wow...just wow.
1st OP, you saved for EIGHT YEARS to buy this apartment, it's a crazy amount of time and money! He literally has no right to have his name on the deed, even if you lived where it's common to share finances, it's a crazy amount of entitlement from his side.
5th story: Hey girl, you are being financially used by your fiancé's fragile ego, YOU are the one that needs to reflect on if this is the man you want to marry.
Story 1: I hope OP gets herself tested. Her husband is probably cheating on those trips. Story 2: Why is OP so complicit in the abuse of his children? He needs to put his foot down and seek better treatment for them. His wife either needs some serious counseling, or a boot up her derriere. Story 3: OP should just keep the binoculars and invest in some reflective tinted for her windows. Story 4: OP needs a new bf. Because this guy really does put the "boy" in "boyfriend". He's not a friend, either. Story 5: Shouldn't OP be saying, EX boyfriend? What value is this guy really adding to her life? He's literally punishing her for being more successful. What man that is worth his salt would do this to someone he loves. Story 6: Well said OP!
In the last story, let’s play out the scenario where OP get fired: This firm is large - probably well-known, how would the company look for firing OP (one of the few black people at the firm) after she “calls out the relative of the owner who called her “nothing more than a diversity hire””
Story 1: Where the hell does this lady live where she can take "day trips" to mountain hikes AND beaches with scuba driving?! Damn, I wouldn't take vacations either if I lived there!
Fifth story: I'm so glad that OP learned the true colours of the guy while still engaged and not after marriage. She still has the choice to end the relationship without going through any legal issues during the divorce. If it were me in that situation, that's exactly what I'd do. Screw him!
Story 5 about not paying for bf's meal. His friends told him to "take time and reflect on the type of woman he's gonna be married to". If OP has any sense, such reflection won't be necessary, because she'll find somebody better to marry.
Husband in the first segment doesn't want to save for a house, yet thinks that in their 50s they'll just be able to buy one without saving for it. With what? Not sure what houses go for there, but given OP's view on that situation, I suspect hubby is very short-sighted.
(8:51) OP's boyfriend: **swears that he won't spend a penny of the credit** Also OP's boyfriend: **gets mad when he can't spend money on her credit card** Seriously, he can get his own card if he wants one so bad.
How does one accuse their partner of financial abuse when the accuser literally took their method of handling money from them. Taking someones means to pay sounds more like financial abuse to me.
Story 1: nah he doesn't want the house for marriage reasons he wants it to boost his ego and appear like a good person to his buddies. Nta he wants a part in owning the house he pays for it. Story 2: um.....I look forward to the moment the kids are away from there mother they post on Rslash raised by narcissists nta tell your kids trust me I've been raised in this kind of toxic mentality it won't get better if you leave it be. Story 3: misunderstand the situation? Nah I think she'll know perfectly what he's doing hopefully, plus if he complains to you just say actions have consequences nta Story 4: yeah the moment he said he doesn't trust you and calling you paranoid while gaslighting you like this after he stole your card, nah I say dump him I wouldn't trust what he said ether plus I bet he was buying smokes with it. Story 5: yeah few lines in and I knew he was taking advantage of you and this bs 30% rule makes no sense other then a method of control, plus you invite them you pay for them that's the real rule I'd say indeed take time to reflect marrying him and break up with that cheapskate. Story 6: I can understand the stigma of diversity hires, however that doesn't excuse micheal's behaviour and what he said wow what a swallow ego, op I'm glad you're able to rise up to where you are now based on skill not your race good on you, that being said though you aren't a TA what you said is a bit too far fighting rasicm with rasicm is the wrong thing to do and I can guarantee it'll affect you and micheal this argument will if reported to HR, not saying he didn't deserve it just that maybe you could have handled it a bit better or just called him a typical privaged white man without the insults.
Story 1: OP have him all of the reasonable options. And those are quite a few good options. He picked one of those. Now he doesn't like the consequences of that option.
Story one: Op don't back down, spend your money how you see fit and he'll spend he's own as he sees fit. If he wants half the house then he saves up for half the house. That simple. But if I where you OP I would sit him down and try to help by showing him he can save up half of he's earnings for important stuff and the other half for play money, that's what I'm going to do once I get a job (not explaining why I don't have one yet) Story two: OP..you need to speak up and probably step in for those kids. Your wife is intentionally harming and punishing her kids for no reason..plus I do find it odd you say "Her kids" instead of "our kids" or "step daughters" honestly that set off a red flag.. OP the kids are also going to feliz how they are treated and once they do at some point they'll resent your wife and no longer speak with her and you in return. If you wish to keep a connection then you should help them out. Story three: OP get cameras set up around your yard. This man is watching you threw the windows and not to scare you to much but what if he's watching threw your bedroom window?? If he's getting more agresive about watching you then there's a possibility he's planning something and one day he may act on that plan. So get alarms, cameras, and if you're not allergic or if you don't dislike dogs get a big dog, a scary looking one. It'll deter him from trying anything and also I would take pictures and videos of him trying to look threw and call the cops..but it won't do much because most likely you'll be met with the response of "oh he didn't do anything so we can't do anything" Also the "my wife will take it the wrong way!" Is probably a way to say "I've done with before and if she finds out I'm doing it again I'm in deep trouble" Story four: OP this is probably a power play. Because you have the money he feels out of power so he took it and was going to use it to probably feel "like a man!" Look OP I would hide my credit card and I know it'll hurt but if he dose anything else like this or if you look back and see AMY big red flags..dump him. That's not a healthy relationship Story five: I heard this story from Mr. Reddit, just a side thing if anyone gose and checks out when he reads it he says it in a hilarious way. But onto this. OP you should really reconsider this relationship. He's using you and he's taking advantage of your discomfort in fighting back in public. Story six: report him. OP go to he's uncle and report what he said. Tell them this is a toxic environment and tell them how you feel. If they care they'll do something, if not then I would suggest looking for a new job.
Why is it that people don't understand if you can't pay don't go out or ask to be put on something like the house. Can't pay the tip then you can't afford to go out to eat
Considering you told him you weren't paying for you and his friends, he should have either cancelled the dinner or told his friends. He was depending on your good will and I would seriously question whether this is the right relationship for you. In the old wedding ceremony it used the word cherish. This was not cherishing you it was imposing on you. What else is he going to impose on you?
First Story: if I am the one who puts effort into finding a house, saving up MY money, meeting the owners and realtors, putting in all the work and paying for the house all by myself, that is *my* house. Had you shared the work and the money, then it would be *our* house. 🤷🏻♀️
In the "house buying" story... OP needs to be careful if in the US. Most if not all states have it if something is purchased during the course of the marriage is is considered marital property. So both have a claim to it.
Last story: If Michael want to jump to threats of reporting, Op should go ahead and talk to HR to have it documented. How tone deaf and self centered does he have to be where calling someone a "diversity bimbo" isn't an insult but being called a nepotism baby is? Op should also drop the coworker as a friend since she obviously don't have Op's back if she's so quick to shame Op but not him.
I want to clear something up because I've heard this on multiple R?Slash videos. Peeping is not illegal if the pervert is on his own property. He can use binoculars or hell a telescope to look into your windows and as long as he stays on his property there is no legal recourse. if you call the cops they might try to intimidate him into stoping but that's all they can do.
