I just…imagine knowing that your UNDERAGE DAUGHTER is being abused by some creep…and your responce is to TELL THE CREEP’S MOTHER WHERE YOUR DAUGHTER IS… That…vile, disgusting, POS woman that Op has to call her egg donor is just…wow… Op i hope things get better and i hope you never have to interact with any of these vile people ever again.
Right after telling OP how she knew the creep was bad news. What throws everything off is that the mom was coincidentally right about that part. She knew because she's the same way.
After she left he found her, made her get into his car, took her away, there raped he her, cut soles of her feet and left her there to die. She has a case now against him. She was only 17 when she made these posts. Pure fucking heartache reading this. It was around a year ago. If this is the same story I remember from BORU. 13:50 in this video, Rslash had to cut out the part that made t obvious but yeah, he raped her, cut the soles of her feet and left her there. Because she documented a lot of his abuse and was underage, there is a chance fucker is going to live in prison in a few years. This didn't happen in US/Europe. She found out she was most likely infertile, since rape she hadn't had a proper period. Some people are just below animals. She is slowly recovering and reclaiming normal life.
Sadly, I can easily imagine, been no contact for years with my mother and brother, she never cared when my brother violently attacked me, mocked me for needing hospitalisation after being knocked out and strangled, didn’t care when I was r@ped by one of her friends, neglected me and expected me to care for my brother like he was my own child… yeah, the abuse didn’t stop after I escaped, it just changed to harassment and threats, weaponising my disabilities and attempting to isolate me. What they failed to consider was me speaking out about their abuse and almost everyone in their lives 100% believed me because they’d seen how they acted. Some “parents” don’t deserve kids at all, they only have children so they can fully control them and get angry when they no longer have control, and we are left messed up for the rest of our lives having to battle cPTSD.
Looks like the OP left one toxic relationship for another. Unfortunately, that seems to be a pattern with a lot of people from toxic and abusive homes.
That's what I thought. Sometimes people from broken homes like that unintentionally seek out the same traits in their partners. Because it's what they know 😔
Honestly with her upbringing, having borderline personality disorder would cause this. I have Borderline from an extremely traumatic/toxic childhood. I went from the frying pan into a vat of oil time after time. It wasn’t until 4 years ago that I changed that. After a lot of therapy and everything I’m in a much better place
It’s a combination of us being literally wired from birth to associate insults and harm with love and because we usually have very low self-esteem and are vulnerable (especially when young). This combination means that not only are we easy targets for abusers, but we also think these abusive tactics are normal or even loving because of the way we grew up. (I got away from my abusive mother and right into an abusive relationship. He was 11 years older than me and I started “dating” him when I was 16. I got out of that relationship after a few years but didn’t realize just how abusive it was until years later. I didn’t realize how much I’d been manipulated and isolated until a long time later. Thankfully now I’m happily married in a healthy and equal relationship.)
This guy is insane. Isolating OP, trying to get kids from her, and resorted to domestic violence when denied. Heck, even after OP left and got a restraining order, he stalked her before outright committing the unspeakable and leaving her in the rural lands. And the worst part? Only ONE random stranger had OP's back. OP's relatives and everyone else didn't help her, just that one lifeline. Why?
@@fructosecornsyrup5759 listening to this story I felt bad for op but as it went on and she did Absolutely nothing. its when I was over it. a fucking restraining order and Oh its okay Hes been Nice. Nah man. Im not one for victim blaming but she had so many Opertunities to rectify it but she let him go.
The fact that she’s a child makes everything so much worse omg. Imagine thinking someone is saving you from somebody but they’re literally the exact same as the person you wanted to be rescued from(even worse, arguably) and you can’t do anything about it because you’re a kid
Please don't ignore restraining orders . I had a friend that lost theirs because the abuser showed the cops proof that they agreed to meet on a few occasions. Apparently some areas treat it like a broken and voided contract if the person that asked for the restraining order is the one that violates it because they view it as the person admitting that they didn't need it in the first place.
Well, yeah. Restraining orders are saying you don't ever want to see that person again. They're essentially two-way communication bars requested by one side. As soon as the person requesting the order starts to ignore it, it's treated as if they don't want it.
@@GoldenSunAlexYeah, unfortunately… like it or not, the logical assumption is that you want no contact. I guess I don’t understand agreeing to meet after that, but I assume it’s part of the head games these creeps play with their victims. It always makes me cringe to hear these stories and the phrase “I really do love them” tossed in. Honey… you think you love them. You don’t really know them, just the image they’ve shown you. Don’t take pity and meet them for even one minute alone.
I honestly just want to tell OP that it’s not her fault. Her mom screwed up her sense of normal, so she had no idea what was normal in a relationship. I hope that one day she can get the help she needs.
Exactly, there's a lot of comments discussing what to do and what not to do in this situation but when you're in the thick of a toxic or abusive relationship, you can't see through the manipulation. It's not her fault that this happened to her. I really hope she's okay and that she forms healthy friendships and relationships to keep herself grounded. My heart dropped reading this post as someone who's been through a similar experience :(
Thanks. As a non native speaker I struggle with learning English abbreviations for (un)common diseases/disorders. I do not accidentally learn the wrong abbreviation-disease combination
You are correct. It has always been BPA Borderline Personality Disorder. I have it, and have been in therapy for 20 years and it is 100 & Borderline Personality Disorder. I don't know that Bi- polar has an abbreviation.
The very moment he was "joking" about "taking what is his" I saw it coming. This is NEVER a joke. If somebody says something even remotely like this to or about you, RUN. My first boyfriend did some similar stuff, I just gladly got out earlier than OP did and the power imbalance wasn't quite as big (he was still older, stronger and more financially secure, but we were both still minors and living with our parents). But he still kept me in that relationship for a year longer than I should've stayed, coercing me into sexual actions despite me starting to silently cry during them and dissociating and breaking down afterwards and still claiming he loved me. I'm still in therapy and struggling with PTSD, 4 years after I broke up, two and a half years after moving away and completely cutting him off, and it only slowly getting better. My story isn't even close to how horrific everything that happened to OP was. So if anybody that went through something similar sees this: It is not your fault, you are not being stupid or dramatic for the mental scars it left on you, you don't have to "act normal" and instantly "get your life together", they were wrong to hurt you and you didn't deserve it. If you have the option, reach out to a trusted person, friend, relative, teacher, coworker, anybody. Get to a safe place, cut contact, make sure other people that care about you can support you, don't be afraid to "be a burden" or ask for favors. If you're physically hurt go to a hospital, don't be afraid to report them, but if you can't, that's valid too, don't expose yourself to more hurt if you're not ready to take it on. Save all evidence you can get, take screenshots of texts, take photos of injuries, if people witnessed the abuse, make them write it down while they still remember details. And try to be kind to yourself. You are loved, supported, and you deserve so much better. And if you don't feel like you can tell anybody irl right now, you can leave your story here if you want to get it out of your system and have other people to talk to. You are so brave, I love you, your life will turn out okay-ish, I promise. ❤
Ladies, take note. She left her abusive boyfriend, but she let her feelings for her abuser prevent her from pressing charges, and then he harmed her even more. Never feel bad for an abuser. Always press charges. You could be saving yourself or his next victim from more abuse. THEIR actions are what ruin their life, not your choice to hold them accountable.
Not even just Ladies. Men can be abused too. And not everybody is given a chance to press charges. The last time I called the cops on my abusive ex the cops refused to let me press charges. Actually both times I had asked to press charges they refused. And I'm not a woman. Adding: I'm 5'11 200lbs and my ex was 6'3 280lbs at the time i have a dislocated rib and can't get it fixed bc I've just now become not homeless
It's a lot easier said than done, b/c of all the manipulations and him making her feel safe and guilty and then gaslighting the hell outta her and then reminding her that the only place she can go back to is her Mother who literally said "I'm glad I never have to see you again!" And her Dad just straight up said, "That's your problem your not my kid." So, it's hard for someone who went through that to go, "Oh, yeah, I need to press charges so I can cut him out and have absolutely nothing to go to. And somehow turn my life around all by myself with no one here to help."
If you truly love someone, you don't affirm or support them blindly. To love someone is to hold them accountable when they start crossing lines. And the restraining order is NOT holding him accountable, it's not even the bare minimum given what he did(Pedophilia for one). The fact that OP is a child just makes it all the worse. And OP was likely groomed into believing abuse is a form of love, given how the Mother is described as acting.
OP’s mom really primed her for abuse, and it really shows how much having one kind person to reach out can make a difference in your life. Thanks for sharing these stories are/, it’s important to keep educating ourselves about what what harm looks like in the start
I hope she gets help for the PTSD. I hope one day she understands none of it was her fault. It's been 5 years and sometimes I still blame myself. I was agoraphobic for 3 years, seeing him everywhere I went. So I just stayed inside. It gets better with a good support system, people who are there for you. She'll have to grieve her own innocence forever. People think grief gets smaller with time, but in reality, your world simply grows around it to make space for the more important things. Take care everyone 💗
You have a wonderful gift in wording things. You explained that beautifully, some people feel guilty or like they are failing if the grief doesn’t go away, and that they need to wait to move on until it does. But you’re right, you need to let yourself expand your world so that the grief takes up less of it. It won’t go away but it doesn’t have to stay your whole world.
I am struggling with my own Agoraphobia, for similar but different reasons (scared that going outside especially alone = someone will hurt me) and it is hellish. I hope all who deal with PTSD and the like get the help and support they need, bc it's hard out here.
it sounds like the girl essentially got into a relationship with what is essentially the male equivalent to her mother. to be honest, i am impressed that she not only had the resolve but being able to recognize she was being abused since it's obvious that the way the ex was treating her was basically how she's been treated all her life by her mother and is probably all she knows about human contact. hopefully she can eventually finally experience what it should feel like to be treated properly and with kindness
OP, you're a minor, a child. Please don't be so hard on yourself. I knoa that's easier said than done but that's something time will grant you; the ability to look back and understand that you were a child that deserved protection but had to make the best of something horrible time and time again. You are so much stronger and resilient than you think you are ❤
If OP sees this video, I want her to know that she can still be a mom if she wants. She can adopt a child and give them all the love they deserve. It might even be a bit cathartic since many kids in the system go through a lot and it would help both her and the kid to have someone who understands.
That is always an option! In some parts of the world however, the definition of mom is limited to biological sadly. I am not sure of the type of damage done, but it would most likely impact her ability to carry a child to term, not her egg production. It may be possible for her to hire a surrogate in the future if she defines motherhood as biological. But I agree, many children need loving homes and I hope that people don’t dismiss that as a valid avenue to parenthood no matter your physical capabilities.
@@fallenprometheus totally agree. I simply try to understand that others may feel differently about it than I do. I have never wanted kids of my own but I am open to adoption, so I don't understand the urge for biological kids at all. However, some people have a very strong urge for biological kids and I am simply saying, that I hope no doors were shut for her and I hope she has many options to choose from in the future 🙂
Also I would like to add, there are thousands of "infertile" woman that end up having successful pregnancies. It's less likely, but being infertile is hardly a 0% chance of pregnancy. Many woman are infertile while under stress and dangerous situations and when they relax and give up hopes of having children, they get pregnant. So if she doesn't pressure herself, but keeps trying when the time is right, she might have a miracle.
"The stupid choices I made" - OP is a literal child. She might make mistakes, but it's because nobody around her was helping her to make better choices. She has been failed, terribly.
Yeah, ultimately, it's the stupid choices her parents made that got her into this mess. It goes to show the importance of having loving parents and the harm abusive ones cause.
This story should be used in schools as an example for what abusive relationships are and what they can end up leading to. This story could end up saving lives and leading to better futures.
Don't start removing possible answers until you know what the question is. When the question is "how do I survive this?" Answering "please don't unalive me" won't help. Because "please" and "don't" are not in a monsters vocabulary.
My ex started abusing me when he got drunk. Which was a lot. In the kitchen one day, he's drunk, and just as he's about to slap me there was a knock at the door. I took that chance and knocked him out with a small, but heavy skillet. He dropped like a sack of potatoes. He was out cold. I just let him lay there. He had a large lump, and a lil cut. He laid there for the rest of the night. I think knocking him out was less important than he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, I told him of he ever raised his hand to me again, I would unalive him. He started to once, I guess he realized that he if he continued it wouldn't go well for him. He never raised his hand to me again. I left him not long after that. He died a few yrs ago. To much alcohol and drugs.
Hey RSlash. I know these tough stories probably have an effect on your mental health after a while. Feel free to do videos on random funny subreddits too. You have a lot of subscribers that will watch regardless. Take care!
I know some of his earliest videos were from funny subreddits and I watched them all the same. But I see videos like these as a way to use his platform to show the dangers and maybe help someone who watches it
@@nicktinson2950 I absolutely agree with that. But I also think it would do rSlash some good to read more wholesome and funny stories as well. He reads so many negative stories on a daily basis he said it has affected his mental health in the past, so I think it would be good for him to also incorporate some more wholesome and funny stories in his repertoire as well. But I absolutely agree with you that sharing stories like these can help so many people.
He used to do Tales of Kevin and various Karen stories, I really enjoyed those so those may be options! There's also entitled parents, which are sometimes more like the Karen stories and I enjoy them too.
Thank you for posting this, stories like this serve as a warning. As a little girl who grew up with Law and Order SVU, I think cautionary tales and learning from the mistakes of others is vital to undoing the cycle of trauma the worst of humanity inflicts
I just feel horrible for OP that she doesn't have many people in her life and the few that does are just emotionally abusive, controlling and so much more... 😰 I just hope that her live is going for the better.
Having A LOT of experience with narcissists, I'm convinced the ex-boyfriend's mom is the reason why he's a narcissist. Regular narcissism is acquired, not innate.
I really wish there was a trigger warning at the start of the video. This is horrible, and I hope this man really experiences what he put her through while in jail. It's amazing how strong she is. She really is amazing.
I feel like I need to explain a bit of this, but it begins with 'I'm not a medic/medical expert'. 'cutting the soles of her feet' I imagine this is literal. this isn't cutting the shoes. this is taking their shoes and cutting her feet. this is a massive deal. we wear shoes for a reason and footwear has been a thing for at least 40 thousand years. walking around barefoot, you're not used to the harsh terrain, the long distances, just going all that way without footwear, and it will wear you out. also, having to walk on those cuts WILL let in bacteria, so even if you get anywhere safely, chances are you'll pick up an infection and lose your feet. and that's just a start this man was not only trying to kill OP by making her suffer long term. this man was making sure when he was done, even if he failed, OP would suffer more from having to deal with something major, maybe life threatening.
As someone who went through a traumatic past, the way to get past it is to accept it sadly. It is really hard, but I can say it’s a part of me and it makes me stronger
This reminds me of the slug story. I listened to it on my way home from counseling, and my mouth was wide open the entire time. That is a wild and very sad story.
I hope OP knows how strong she is. To go through such trauma her whole life, and then this, all while still being a minor, and then being able to go ahead with charges and rebuild her social circle is incredible. But I hope she also knows it’s ok to not be ok, and it’s part of the healing process to feel all of the emotions. I really hope her life only gets better and better moving forward.
Oh my god?? I’ve never been affected by a story like this before, that poor girl. I feel so bad for her, she deserves so much better and I hope she gets a good support system along with healing from the trauma if that’s even possible.
I disagree that a guy wanting kids young is itself a red flag. What was a red flag was his condom poking and trying to convince her to have sex without a condom, he'd "just pull out." Apart from the controlling the money and never giving her cash for anything, that the big parade she missed.
It shouldn't be a red flag, but a yellow flag. It's usually a sign that the man doesn't know what actually goes into childcare and what he'd be signing up for if he fathered kids. It can BECOME a red flag if he doesn't listen to good sense if his partner doesn't want kids yet or at all.
Story : Op boyfriend is a predator.. he prayd on op vulnerability and now hes emotionally abusing her.. Update 1 : yup ..i knew it.. dude is an emotionally abusive Dbag.. Story 2 : " if you dont let me get what i want ill just have to take it" Yooooo WTH.. That aint even a quarter of the way funny.. Update 4 : yeah dude is such an emotionally abusive narcissistic dbag that even if sharing those pics would mess him up bad i dont think he cares and he probably subscribes to the eye for an eye method and hes mad that his punchingbag escaped him... op mom is a complete piece of trash who once she passes op should go to her gravesite and take a #2 on it.. Update 5 : yeah dude turns to stalking when emotionally abuse didnt work anymore.. " part of me still loves him" op are you high ?? "Cut the soles of my feet" Dude lost his flipping mind that his punchingbag escaped him that bad.. Op mistake was telling that piece of garbage "mom" where she was .. what was she expecting??
13:45 this story makes my heart break, my prayers and condolences to the Redditer. I've watch every r slash video, but I don't think I can leave this video without a comment.
The entire story I kept going “YIKES YIKES YIKES” it’s mind blowing how bad it got, and how OP was seen as the crazy one in the entire story by everyone around her
Unfortunately an all too common situation. From one abusive relationship to another. Abusers smell out trouble pasts like sharks to blood. Hopefully OP can get the help she needs
I'm actively trying not to cry. This made me incredibly angry and sad. I've never suffered anything of the sort, but just knowing that people can be so deeply ruined like this is heartbreaking. I genuinely hope things get better for her.
This poor, poor kid. She was just a child. She didn't know or understand any better. Everyone in her life is a POS except for that one person who helped her. I pray she finds help and healing one day. I know personally that PTSD is not an easy condition to deal with, but when you find therapy and real friends who you bond to closer than family, the pain gets easier to bear.
Geeze this story! I wish more people knew not to give them an inch, talk to them, etc. There should be more tools and support out there for those that are ready to leave a toxic relationship. It's sad that it took what happened in that car for charges to be filed. I hope that they use the aftermath trauma of what he did as well as a sentencing point at court!
I'm literally crying my eyes out. I so wish I could help OP and give her a huge hug. I wish I could stop people from going through this type of thing. I hope OP has the best possible life from now on out.
Ouch! I’m so sorry, OP. I’m sorry you had to go through all that. Going from your toxic mother ( and family ) to a toxic ex who all treat you less like a person… Whenever you do finally get away from all that toxic community, cut all contact with your mother, that psychopath, and all who defend their actions! That is not normal! Glad you are doing okay, OP. Stay strong!
This story is heart breaking. Now to watch something happy and uplifting to start off the week in a better mood… oh look, rslash stories about Kevin! :D
Abusive relationships are already extremely difficult to get out of but even more so if you've had a previous abusive relationship or an abusive childhood. It gives you a fucked up idea of what love should be I hope OP gets better
This shows how very hard it is to get away from an abusive partner. And it's a cautionary tale that you can't do it halfway. You have to cut ties completely, as soon as possible. Also cut off the idea that "I don't want to go too hard on them." You have to.
Im glad to see op is healing in all aspects. I hope her journey continues well. I hope she can heal past it all and forgive herself for her decisions. Yes, they were profoundly stupid decisions, but she had no framework to know those eye all such bad choices. They're all methods to keep monsters out of your life. She grew up with those monsters. They'll never teach the methods to stay safe, so she unfortunately had to learn the hard way. Congratulations on surviving.
It's a shame about op, but please people do not be like OP. If you ever have cause to get a restraining order, MAKE SURE IT IS ENFORCED. SCREAM IF YOU SEE ABUSER. DO NOT LET SENTIMENT CLOUD YOUR JUDGEMENT.
1st story: Damn, she left her controlling mother just to end up with a controlling boyfriend. This story is so sad. What was the age difference between OP and her ex because you'd think that in itself would be enough to get him arrested if she's a minor.
I think rslash would really benefit from having trigger warnings for heavier episodes. This was a ride I don't think I was fully ok to go on today and not knowing if there's gonna be heavy topics is a not so fun roll of the dice
Christ it just gets worse with every update, thank God that creep is getting thrown in prison. Fingers crossed the other prisoners find out what he did and enact a little justice themselves
Nothing makes my brain short circuit like a man downplaying pregnancy. Easy for them to say "its not a curse," when its not their body and life on the line and never will be for pregnancy.
As someone that's infertile due to abuse I just got to say this story broke my heart. I've been there, I know the pain of feeling like you've been robbed of something you desperately wanted. You're left feeling broken, ashamed, angry, and mourning the potential life/children you could've had. It's the worst feeling imaginable. I hope OP finds happiness in her life and can heal with time. It never goes back to feeling the same as you were before, but you can find peace
Well, there's not all hope lost. She didn't say sterile, which would mean it's completely impossible. Infertility just means it's harder/might have to be done through non-natural means like IVF/IUI, or a surrogate! She may still be able to have a family like she wants.
the more and more I listened to this story, the more I think she is from the Philippines. Small clues like "moving from the province to the capital". Many people speak like that when wanting to move from a rural area to Manila. And when she said she was studying in English and the boyfriend didn't like it because he didn't understand. The official language is English, but Tagalog and Visays are two of the main local languages out of literally hundreds. Also the way the mother acted, the way the boyfriend's mother was able to easily get OPs mother to reveal her location. I can go on. I could be wrong. But as an American now living permanently in the Philippines, I just see too many nuances from the story. If this story did take place in the Philippines, it is unfortunately an all too common tale here. Don't misunderstand me, I love this country, the culture, the friendliness and acceptance of the people. However, there is a deep dark side to the country as well, especially regarding the women of the country. Abuse takes place often. And all too often, there is nowhere to turn. It's even to the point where even though arranged marriages are illegal in this country, it still happens. Too many fathers still see the daughters as property and not people. All these views are still in the minority, but (just throwing a number out there) 30 percent is also considered a "minority", Anyway, for those in the Western world who are thinking, how can a woman let this happen to them. In other countries, our values and norms are not so eaily applied.
The amount of people blaming her for wanting to “fix” him or not get him in trouble are pathetic. She’s been abused her entire life and had to care for someone who tormented her. Of course she’s going to try and protect him despite the abuse.
I was cringing throughout this entire story: op's mom's behavior, how controlling and possesive the boyfriend is (with her thinking it's normal probably due to how she was raised/out of a desire to feel loved by somebody), how she kept giving him more chances, etc. The girl clearly just wants to feel loved, and probably has a very distorted view of it due to her POS mother. Since she was isolated from the world, didn't make money on her own, and didn't have anyone else to rely on, she was probably idolizing him as the one person who truly cared about her. She constantly made dumb decisions imo (not enforcing the restraining order, still allowing him to talk to her in person while knowing how dangerous he can be and that he literally was trying to manipulate and blackmail her into coming back, that he was probably going to try to "force himself" on her, etc.), but it makes sense why in a depressing way. Heart goes out to op, I hope it gets much better for her.
*Pantywaist of a mother:* "You're always hurting yourself by being with that hurtful man. I'm going to teach you a lesson, now that you've left him, by telling him where you are!" *OP:* Is too horrified to look at the camera like she's on the office.
That story… it made my stomach turn. I can’t image experiencing all that. It’s not her fault and I hope she’ll be okay because she really does deserve the best. And this guy… hope he rots in prison. I never thought I’d be so mad at some random dude whom I don’t even know.
I wish I could talk to op. What happened wasn't and isn't her fault. You become, so beaten down in abusive relationships. I know how she feels. I had to pull myself out as well. Now I get to spend every single day seeing scars on my body. It changes you forever.
Always go to your local library if you need access to the internet. They probably will also be able to get you help with necessities and education. My cousin works as a librarian at a major library in a major city. She helps with finding jobs, etc.
It may be cold comfort, but weakness can become strength. OP, you’ve learned hard lessons no one should have to learn, especially so young. No one should be subjected to what you were. But your future is hopeful. Your past won’t define you but it will always be part of you, but like a broken bone, wounds to the mind and soul can grow back thicker. You already sound so strong! You’ll have that memory and that place that still stings, you’ll have bad days, but they’ll always pass, and get less painful over time as you grow to understand that it was never your fault. You will be a strength to others suffering the same or similar things. You’ll understand and believe them where so many people don’t or can’t. You’ll see the signs and be in a position to offer the help you didn’t have, or the help you did. And though you may have been robbed of the chance to have your own kids, you’ll be able to provide a home to kids who need someone like you. A strong, empathetic mother who understands how much words can hurt. I only wish you hadn’t had to suffer horrible physical wounds as well. I know enough to recognize… words can be cruel enough. And for those still struggling… I understand reading this will make you angry. You want the pain gone, not just lessened. You want the memories gone, not just faded. Because some days it’s like no time has passed at all. You’re stronger than you think… but that doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to cry, mourn and be mad as hell. Honestly, I think that’s what makes you strong… sometimes you have to be not okay for a while in order to go back to growing. And look for help if you can. Therapy, friends, online support groups. People who get it.
Damn, I've been following this account for about two years on and off, but this has got to be one of, if not the saddest story I've heard. I feel so bad for OP, but I'm at least glad that she now has gotten help that really helps. I hope that she'll heal/ learn to cope with her traumas and have a happy, fulfilling life despite all that's happened.
This is honestly all the moms fault. Kids are gonna make dumb mistakes, but if the mom had created a safe open environment for her daughter, then she never wpuldve been pushed into the situation with the bf. and when the toxic stuff started showing up, she would've been able to go to her mom. So many parents dont realize that by being like this, they are not just pushing their kids away, but right into the arma of predators
If anyone finds themselves in a similar situation, please know that there is ALWAYS someone who will help you out of it. A neighbor, maybe just a random passerby. Seek help because you deserve to be respected.
Hey rSlash, I love your Contin. I popped over here from the Spotify podcast to let you know that there seems to be a formatting error, or some audio glitch. It’s happened for three episodes now I wasn’t sure if you’re aware. Thank you for doing everything you do!
This story feels like a car wreck, and with every new update, another car enters the pileup, and then another car, and another car until there are so many cars that it’s just spilling into buildings, alleyways, people are getting hurt. This story is a mess
This story was like watching a horror movie, everyone is just screaming at the screen “don’t do that, you’re going to end up dead,” and OP can’t hear it.
'Love Is Blind' is in many forms... And this is the worst form there is. Please, seek help. Even if you have no family, no friends, or anyone close. Do not stay. Do not put yourself in that situation. Call services, and police. NEVER take abusers back, let alone contact them again. This story is truly a warning...
To OP (I know they will never see it though): NEVER LET A DOCTOR TELL YOU YOU CANNOT HAVE CHILDREN. If they do, FIND A NEW ONE. If you have all the parts, you only have a LOW chance, NEVER ZERO. This is advice from OBGYNs.
For the second story, every single person in OPs life may have failed her, but not as much as OP failed herself. She willingly gave up her safety for “closure”. Sad story, but she did it to herself.
this story reminds me of what i got out of this year, i was lucky to get out before it was too late, considering my pain, i don't even want to imagine how much pain OP was in during all of that... i'm so sorry for OP..
To OP wherever she is; I am so so sorry that you had to go through that. I cannot imagine your pain and your trauma having to deal with those awful disgusting people like your mom and ex. if it’s any consolation, and I’m sorry if it’s not, there are no abuse survivors who can easily see the red flags before it’s too late and it’s not your fault. None of it is and please do not blame yourself. You’re very strong and an amazing person for having the very courage that you had to leave them when you did, as well as everything else followed after with him harassing you and hurting you and everything that followed after. It breaks my heart to hear that you won’t be able to be a mom in the future (by natural means at least). Please know that I and so many people are still rooting for you no matter what. Screw that guy and screw your mom. ❤❤
It is stories like these that make me wish for some leeway towards vigilante justice. Everyone that OP trusted failed her, from the POS mother to the psycho ex, and even the system which should be protecting OP, sent her from one toxic individual back to another (although I have to guess that if the system knew how toxic OP's mom was, they would have not taken that option). That is the problem sometimes. People who will never listen and still continue to hurt others (through truly heinous means too), how do you stop them, if there is even an option for that to begin with?
To the woman being abused: that POS will always be a controlling abuser. Leave now and do not have any contact. Do not wait until his aggression becomes deadly. This man is extremely dangerous and he will not change, not ever.
Anyone reading this with PTSD, please know you are more than your trauma. I know it feels so big it overwhelms every part of you, and you forget who you once were, but you are still in there. The trauma never fully goes away, but it gets smaller and smaller and less overwhelming every day, like grief. I spent years desperate to be who I was before the trauma, until I realised I was never going back, and going forward was the only option , as a new person, with knowledge and experience gained post trauma. It's been nearly 20 years since my trauma. PTSD still bites back occasionally, but the days of my trauma being all I felt I was, are behind me. It takes time to heal, but we all heal eventually 💕
It’s easy to judge people who give in and break restraining orders for “closure” or just to talk. From my own experience, I know it’s ALWAYS a mistake. But it’s hard to see that when you’re in the middle of it. Leaving an abusive relationship can often feel worse than being in it, you don’t have the comfort of denial and the situation is so much more dangerous. OP, I hope you can forgive yourself the mistake. You’re not stupid. You’re a survivor.
Today's story seems to be the most frustrating out of all of them so far, because we can't blame op, the minor, for making stupid decisions when she's just a child. Her mom is a piece of shit, her boyfriend likely groomed her and then, because she's a child, she doesn't enforce the damn restraining order and ends up getting sexually abused. Legit a series of dumb decisions by a child that are completely understandable from her perspective, but that are endlessly frustrating for anyone with half a brain over the age of 18.
It doesn’t matter the age this stuff can happen to literally anyone. Of course OP not having a point of reference for what is considered normal due to her mum was a key factor in this situation but getting abused is not due to stupidity it’s due to manipulation. Stop using language that blames the victim
You're comment suggests that you don't have much empathy for adults over 18 who make poor choices. Let's do a little mental exercise. Would anything about OPs story have changed if she was 18 when her mother kicked her out? She's an adult now so she must be a little more wise, have access to more resources, maybe education opportunities for independence? But her foundational experiences and resources are a mother who's forbidden any social contact less she be punished, and a boyfriend who's spent her teens grooming her. The only figures in this narrative supporting her making positive decisions are a practical stranger who OP does not have a strong relationship with, and a forum full of internet strangers offering lots of positive and negative responses to her posts for advice. Do you think that's enough of a counterweight to the years her literal lifetime of abuse experience, and every other past and present voice in her life telling her that she's the one in the wrong? Surely you've felt shame for making a mistake? Does negative judgement from others make you feel better about a choice you already know was a mistake based on the poor outcomes that followed?
I firmly believe that young people need to educated as part of the school curriculum with what signs to look out for of abusive coercive control in relationships. They need to be made aware, before kids ever start dating, the kinds of manipulation tactics that can be employed: restricting your access to friends and family, controlling what you wear, where you can go, what you are allowed to do, your access to your phone, baby trapping, etc. If they notice these signs, they need to have a clear plan of action to extricate themselves safely, and given the tools they’ll need to access help from the authorities and support services. And also, most importantly, their self esteem needs to be bolstered so that if they recognise the beginnings of abusive behaviour in a partner, they’ll have the ability to know that they are worth more than that, that there are better people out there who they deserve, and to have the strength and courage to get the hell out, hopefully before things escalate.
I'm glad OP is alive. A friend from back when I was 18-20 and her 3 kids were unalived 9 hours before she was due to leave her husband for good with her kids. I got out of an abusive marriage with my 3 kids, mostly unscathed.
That…wasn’t pleasant to hear about. I’m glad that op is moving on and hopefully going to live a great and fulfilling life. This fs isn’t something I was expecting to hear in the morning though..
