Story 1 : Agree on the read : If she's able to have a fight with a OP and still sit in the same room, instead of shutting down on any issues and run from the conversation, it's a good sign she actually cares about her relationship with OP and that she values it.
I was thinking the same thing. It's a good sign that she is trusting him to still care about her even when she disagrees with him over something. Kids in those situations tend to try not to do anything to rock the boat for fear of the other person not wanting them anymore or not liking them anymore.
It's also a great sign of her starting to feel safe around him and trusting him to the point she is willing to risk having a fight. While we don't exactly know much about how the dynamics between her and her mom were, at least some victims of abuse will try to best please anyone just so they won't be beaten up or worse.
There is more. A victim of abuse will do ANYTHING to turn invisible, to not get any spotlight on themselves. Because spotlight means: A beating, a string of expletives hurled at them or worse, something that has no business to be there in their pants. So, if she's arguing with him, that means she trusts him enough to discard that precaution, that she trusts him to not getting abused by him. In any way or form.
Story 3: sounds like that cat knew what's up. First it adopted OP and was part of their healing and now that they are in a much better place in life, it moved on to its next project which is the little sister.
I completely forgot there was a second story in this video i was too invested in the 1st and 3rd ones and i saw the comment like "3rd? Theres three stories in the video?" I completely forgot about the dust mites story lol
Story 1: this man is a unicorn. He didn't complain one bit about suddenly having a daughter. He welcomed her with open arms but also tried to not overwhelm her. When he said she was being argumentative, I felt so happy for them! To me, that was a sign that she was becoming more comfortable with him (I mean, what teenager DOESN'T argue with their parent(s)?) I hope nothing but the best for them and that Kathy gets what she deserves.
Keep in mind that the 'mom' was a single teenage mother... Some people take it well, some people dont. There is not enough info here to actually judge her. Other than the fact she is in jail, and is likely there for something she deserves to be there for... She probably needed help more than a decade ago and never got it.
@@TheWeakMinded Even thought OP didn't know, maybe his daughter still resented him for not being there for her at first. Humans are not totally rational beings. The mother should have asked for child support and help raising them. But humans don't always make the right choice. If I had a child by accident (less than 1% chance with condoms) I would be angry if it was hidden from me for 15 years. I would not, in any circumstance, abandon a child. I don't want one for now, but I would not neglect one if it happened. Maybe OP's daughter mom assumed the worse (that he would run away) and preemptively got away from him. I really don't understand how some people can get away from their own flesh and blood and be happy with just paying child support or not even that.
RSlash! I did NOT need this punch to the feels today! My dad got custody of me when I was 14 because my mother was abusive and neglectful. It wasn’t easy. Hell, it _still_ isn’t easy and I’m 40 now! But when I was a teenager, seeing little girls have a fun, loving relationship with their mom sometimes would send me in to depressionville, in to a panic attack, or in to a fit of anger. The world expects that if you have a parent treat you badly, it’s going to be your dad; my school even had a support group for that. The world also expects that it’s your mother that will love you unconditionally, take care of you no matter what, and move heaven and earth for your happiness, so no one really knows what to say or do when your mom doesn’t like you, doesn’t want to take care of you, and doesn’t love you. In my experience, even therapists don’t know what to say in this situation, so it’s completely isolating and can make you feel like there must be something innately wrong and horrible about you that your own mother doesn’t love you. I imagine that for the fathers in these situations, it must be very difficult to get past all of that and convince the child that it’s her mother’s loss and that it’s a flaw with mom, not child. My heart goes out to those dads and those kids (even if those “kids” are adults like me). May we all find peace and healing.
God the first story hurts so bad, not only have I never had a genuine relationship with either of my parents, but losing my mom at age 16 (she passed away) was absolutely crushing. I'm 22 years old now and I still feel heart break every time I see a happy family, but I also am glad there are families out there that may have a better life than I had Edit: Seeing some of the comments relating or wishing me well is so sweet, all of you deserve so much love. As for the commented who basically said "grow up" You sound either way to privileged, or past the point of finding real happiness, and I'm sorry you live that way. Life has been hard, but I've had a solid awesome partner and a great sister still and they help me get through and stay solid. I hope you call have some people who make sure you know you're loved too. Stay strong guys!
I'm so sorry you've had to deal with so much trauma throughout your life already, and eventhough it's hard we're both still young. You've got a life to live, I belive in you
Congratulations Jeff, you're a survivor. Time to set aside the past and find your own way in this world. Time to leave behind those overblown myths of happy families and childhood and concentrate on doing some good yourself and humankind. Educate yourself, join the Peacd Corps, run for office, help the world. You have a lot to offer and lots of time. Bon chance, mon ami!
Story 2 : The woman discovering her allergy late in life reminds me of something that happened when I was a kid. I had trouble breathing at night for some reasons. I went to the doctor with my mother and he said that I was hypocondriac... Later in my teen years, I discovered that I was allergic to dust mites, cat and dogs hair and to some plants. I don't understand why the doctor i've seen didn't even think about allergies, when it's such a common problem nowadays.
That is just so weird, to hear things like that. As a kid I remember both my sister and I going through a bunch of allergy tests. I thought that was the norm, especially as this was back in the early 90s. To think that doctors just brushed off your legitimate concerns without even administering some simple tests like that... chilling. Also irresponsible. I would've reported that "hypochondriac" doctor for medical negligence, because yikes.
Allergies don't come on all at once. You can through life without being allergic to something and then you randomly are later in life. Similarly, you can be allergic to stuff as a kid, but outgrow it. I'm allergic to cats as an adult, but wasn't as a child. A friend's kid was allergic to cow milk protein, but now isn't. That isn't to say that your mother- and other people's doctors- weren't being ars*holes, and there is definitely a medical bias against women, but when it comes to allergies, remember they are constantly changing and aren't static.
Can confirm, tantrums over the wrong color cup, spoon, fork, plate, bowl. And even if the spoon is on the wrong side of the plate or bowl... They're silly, frustrating, and still a good thing.
So true. Kids at this age just learn how to regulate and express their emotions. There is no knowledge of some expected behaviour. As long as the caregiver shows them, how to express themselves better instead of getting angry it is great
@@KaliqueClawthorne let's be honest... Adults still have the problem on occasion. Curious as to the correlation of the kids never told no at that age and other cultural phenomena seen today.
Tantrums mean the child trusts their caregiver enough to be themselves around them and aren't afraid to show their feelings. Of course, it's an immature and inappropriate way to express themselves, but that's why it's up to their caregiver to help them learn to express themselves more appropriately.
@@strawberrysoulforever8336it's a developmentally appropriate reaction, so definitely not immature. The kid is 3. This is how processing emotions is meant to be for 3 year olds sometimes
0:15 I'm gonna need you to have a look at the username in the bottom left corner and decide for yourself if you still think this is a true story or maybe something from op's fantasies
The part where it showed her seeing a different family’s mom and daughters... Just... man.
7 месяцев назад
@@is_just_diana You do know some people have been on the internet long before it got all mainstream and usernames that were fkd up were common once long ago, right? Like it doesn't actually mean anything, would you assume someone with XXx Killer42069 xXX is a killer who loves weed, killing and 69'ing?
Story 2: I feel so much sympathy for the allergy thing, I’m 26 and just got diagnosed with a mass amount of allergies that I was told we’re just hormonal and would go away if I had a baby. I COULDNT BREATHE PROPERLY FOR 26 YEARS!
I honestly didn't know this was even a thing people went through. I got diagnosed with allergies when I was probably a baby. I still feel for op because I've had moments where if I go for days without the medicine, I'll start to have symptoms that are cold like at best and flu like at worst. I just got over a majorly bad allergy spell when I was wondering if it was more than just allergies or not (thankfully it wasn't anything super severe) and now I'm dealing with it again since I can't find anything with a decongestant in it...
And all these stories lately which women report doctors disregard their medical concerns. Have issues breathing? My first thought would be asthma or allergies. Not hormones. And why should OP wait to have a baby in order to be able to breathe properly or get rid of hives?
I'm so confused why they think hormones would ne the cause of bad breathing... are they indocating hysteria or something? Yeesh, allergies have been a known thing for so long
This is also 100% not the first complaint they've gotten about him. If the immediate response is telling him one more complaint it's not the first. If this was the first complaint they'd be talking to him and talking to you about it and much more detail. They already know he would do this which is why they didn't have to question it. Opie should definitely send a following up saying what he did after the write up.
Even if it was hormonal, I don't get the "just have a baby" thing. Because, not even considering the fact that babies aren't exactly a temporary medical procedure, since when does pregnancy make your hormones become NORMAL and TAME?
OP's daughter reminds me of my ex. She had a very traumatic childhood. On her birthday, I prepared a romantic candle lit dinner and ordered from her favourite sushi place. *She yelled at me.* She said she didn't deserve it, that I spent money for nothing, etc. Than the walls came down and she started crying, saying no one had ever done anything for her birthday. That it was the best birthday gift she'd ever had. Wounds take time to heal.
I've read that sometimes fear comes out as anger, especially when fear was never a safe thing to express. Can't say if it's true or not, but sounds right
It reminds me a TON of The Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver (and two of my Pokémon OCs who I named after the heroine and her found daughter, who is 3 and mostly nonverbal like OP's sister).
Story #1: That poor poor girl, just in every way possible screw Kathy. I, in a sense, know what that girl went through. Not to her extreme, but so much neglect and hatred from family is absolutely awful. And when it was said she loved to read, I immediately knew where that was going. If you can escape your life to a better one, or learn more and more to make a better one for yourself in the future you take it and never let go. I know taking down those walls are the hardest thing you can do, but I'm so so proud of her for doing so. And that she finally has someone who will forever love her unconditionally, it's beyond hard to accept but I'm glad she can do it. One last thing, dogs make the world go round! I'm glad she isn't scared or them but loves them all dearly. And of course, I'm happy she loves her dad. This may be a sad story, but it's paced with happiness throughout.
I'm also glad that she loves the dogs and nothing bad happened to her with them. It usually happens and it hurts so much when you are forced to choose between your fur babies or a kid's safety. Glad it didn't go that way.
Story one… I just met my dad two months ago after 24 years. I only found out about him when I was 14. My step-mom, dad, and two little brothers (!!!) have welcomed me with open arms, and I feel much like the daughter in the first story. My dad knew I was born but was never told when and didn’t have more to go off of than a first and middle name. I found him after years of searching, and he has been so loving and kind and cried when he saw me. We all as a family are going curling next week for his birthday! Like the dad in the first story, my dad has the bittersweet pain of missing all those years, but he also loves that we are together now! Especially because my brothers always wanted a sister :,) Thank you for sharing the first story rslash! It was a very good morning cry :,)
@@TheVoicesOfTheBeyond thank you kind stranger!! I’m going to one of my brother’s science fairs in a few weekends, so it’s going great! Have a good day!
Story 1: Holy shit. What kind of things K did to her daughter in 15 years to traumatize her so much? She can't even look at other mothers who love their daughters without PTSD hitting hard.
@@QueenofTaterTots thinking with the fact that the daughter was underfed and the mom charged with multiple drug crimes (aka not simply possession), it probably is even worse. Mom was probably on drugs for a while, maybe on the streets, probably physically abused the daughter while on drugs, maybe she got the daughter on drugs as well, and there's even a chance she let dealers abuse her daughter for drugs
That first story hit me so hard. I can relate so much to that poor girl. My bio dad has been in prison for as long as I can remember so I grew up with my bio mom. She was extremely abusive in every way and neglectful, and so was every guy she brought home. I was eventually taken out of her care but spent the rest of my childhood in foster care, which wasn't much better. I was a book worm as a child because it was my escape. Even if I couldn't physically leave my environment, at least my mind could through a book. I fell in love with school because it was the only place I felt safe. I was a straight A student most of my life, until the depression, anxiety, and undiagnosed PTSD really took over. I've always been so jealous of people who have good relationships with their parents and good childhoods because I never got to experience that. I never got that second chance at a childhood, and once I aged out of foster care things took a turn for the worst. I've spent most of my adult years on the edge of homelessness with no support system to speak of. I'm only 24 years old, and I've had to move 7 times in the last 2.5 years due to unstable housing situations and poverty. But I can finally say things are starting to look up. I met a guy who has been so patient and loving and amazing. He sees the struggles I go through every day and does what he can to help and support me. We just celebrated our 3 year anniversary. And I'm moving once again at the end of this month, but it finally seems like I'm moving somewhere that I can stay long term. I'm disabled and have a lot of health issues, and I'm finally taking advantage of government programs I never knew existed to help me cover the cost of housing, bills, food, disability accommodations, etc. I'm hoping this is the start of a life I truly deserve!
I'm so sorry you went through all that but I am so happy that you found your family in your partner. Hopefully you won't have to move for a long while.
Story 1: I’m not surprised that she loves dogs ☺️ Dogs are so much more empathetic than humans, and they can sense when someone is nervous/scared like OP’s daughter. And they often slowly work themselves closer to that person, same way most breeds interact with human babies, one paw at a time, even sometimes just sleeping next to the person/baby so they can feel a warm body against them, and a heartbeat. Prayers for OP and his Daughter!! ☺️🥰🙏
And story 3: The cat knew that baby needed cuddles and comfort. I'm always in awe of how animals just know when we need them. The cat distribution system was on point for this little family.
@@linda-0587Why do people always mess that up... God hates humans talking to, praising or worshipping animal lives... God made animals to be used, not to be pet. The Christian Church has also called for the mass exterminations of cats multiple times, in Gods name, because they're associated with the devil. Because after God kicked humanity out of Eden, it was the rebellious angel Lucifer that send cats and dogs after us as protectors! Poetically, "Dog" is even the absolute antonym to "God". Nothing is more Anti-God than Dog.
With the 1st story, the reason she has become argumentative is because she feels safe. Children with trauma struggle to feel safe and have a safe person, if the daughter can express big emotions to her dad, it means she is healing in his presence, and he is her safe person. Because she knows he will love her and protect her no matter the big feelings she has. Well done OP on making your daughter feel safe enough to show you those emotions so she can work through them!!
STORY 1: This made me cry.. a lot. I wish I could tell the dad to be prepared for some more arguing, as it is a trauma response. (I have worked with children of trauma). They do this as a self sabotage believing that they aren’t loveable and the person claiming to love them is lying and their behavior will prove it. You just have to love them through it. It’s hard, but it’s worth it. I worked all year with a VERY difficult explosive foster child in my classroom. I watched his triggers. I taught him how to recognize the signs early and how to handle his emotions in healthier ways… and the whole time I told him it’s okay to feel the way he does. He turned his life around (he was kicked out of two previous schools before my classroom). He is the sweetest most loving boy - now in middle school. His foster mother (guardian so she will never lose him, just not a legal adoption), continues to thank me for helping him that year. Children from trauma try to push people away. But I have a feeling this father in the story will be just the person she needs to have faith in herself and in people again.
Story 1: It makes you wonder what happened back then with the ex. Was she cheating, or what else caused her to just dip all of the sudden? She abuses the child for 15 years afterwards and is eventually arrested for drugs, so I really wonder
Exactly! OP wasn’t bothering him. Even if OP didn’t have an allergy, it doesn’t hurt to keep your desk free of dust. Especially in the IT department where there shouldn’t be dust which can get in the equipment needed to run the building. And yeah I know he wasn’t exclusively fired for bothering OP. She was just the straw that broke HRs back.
Not true at all. Believe it or not, most men win the court cases when it comes to visitations and custody. Mainly because they usually make more than the mother. @@MOTUMotherboard
@@fangirl3086not only that but if a woman hits a man and she calls the police even though the man didn't even touch her and says he hit her that man's going to jail so yeah it's exactly like that women right men wrong
God good on the guy from story 1, he didn’t even hesitate to become a father to one of the difficult ages to parent, especially when the kids been through so much as his. She sounds like a good kid too just really needs stability and someone who cares, and he’s giving her that. Honestly what a blessing those two now have each other and I really hope nothing but the best, what an amazing guy.
Story 1: welp it’s eight o’clock and I’m crying 😭. Story 2: I’m just now remembering how it’s only recently doctors are just now treating the symptoms women are experiencing aren’t just us ‘overreacting’.
@@Simipourfangirlunfortunately yes... You can go in with a broken arm and they'll ask about the date of your last period 🙄 I have friends who have had doctors blame hormones for what turned out to be IBS and celiac disease smh
@@Simipourfangirl in my experience, if you have a visible injury (broken leg, bleeding out) you’re treated but they’ll tease you for ‘overreacting’. Invisible or internal injuries, you are often dismissed and, in my sister’s experience, had to visit two different doctors before one fully examined her.
That first story is so heartbreaking but at the same time so moving. OP stepped right up! He’s doing everything right! And I like what you said, rSlash, about tearing down walls. I hope OP and his daughter have a wonderful future.
@@anndownsouth5070 Indeed. I feel a tad sorry for her because I can imagine the breakup and her having the kid weren't her ideas and her bitterness led to all sorts of bad acts that hurt the kid. Really, it should have been Kathy's decision as to what happened, regardless of what it was.
Yeah, it reminds me of the story rSlash read about OP's parents having OP due to the religious believes and then stating that it's OP's fault for ruining their high school lives and then having a do over child that they cared about more than OP.
1st Story: Sometimes the suddenly being rude and argumentative is a test. Not necessarily something the person does consciously but still a test. OP is a good dad when she's good and polite and getting good grades, but there's always the worry that as soon as she becomes difficult she'll be back to being unlovable. So she acts up, just a bit, and sees if he withdraws his love an support. Good job OP, excellent dad-ing.
I definitely tested my dad like that. Not in the argumentative way, my c-ptsd makes me go mute when I'm stressed, but I definitely pushed back and hit his boundaries hard. I needed to know what would make him get physical, because I couldn't just trust that he wouldn't. But he stuck to his word and never laid a hand on me in anger. He wasn't perfect, his inability to accept that I was deeply broken made it hard to handle the stress of high school, but he never hit me. And that means the world to me, because it was the end of the physical pain and the constant sense of betrayal.
Story 3: you are a great older sibling I can't imagine what she's been through at 3. My daughter turns 3 today and with all certainty you are doing a good job. Trust takes time to build and with her jumping in your arms is a big one for sure. Keep up the good work op.
The first and third stories were so wholesome but also sad and hopeful. I wish both OPs and the kiddos the best of luck. There is always a tomorrow as long as we are still breathing.
Story 1: That was a very good story to listen to. OP is going to have good and bad days given everything they both went through, but I think they're going to be okay.
It's a great sign when a kid has a meltdown or an argument with a new parental figure. It means that they're testing their limits and trusting you to love them anyway.
Well, this morning's video made me hug my two little ones extra hard. What is with these awful people and the poor children who are made to suffer because of them. Thank goodness for the people in those kids lives who they can turn to
As a step-dad to teenage girls I want to encourage the sudden dad. They never forget the bad stuff but a good relationship with you can do incredible things toward healing them. Just love her and be consistent and supportive. The death of 1,000 cuts is not as strong as the love of 1,000 kindnesses.
First story: OP is doing amazing. Christ, the fact that his daughter is able to open up about her inner emotions and feelings is a major thing-like MAJOR. I come from a very dysfunctional household that was emotionally neglectful. I would be screamed or yelled at for having tantrums. Or for even trying to explain my feelings. It got to a point where I just withdrew and repressed my emotions-dissociating out of fear of being punished or screamed at. To this day I cannot open up about how I am feeling, and even struggle to do so with my therapist. OP, if he keeps up being an amazing dad, is going to be the thing that helps her not fall into the traps most abuse and trauma victims fall prey to. They need support, genuine and caring, to truly begin to feel safe and heal-lest she eventually end up following a similar path like her mother. OP and rSlash are top tier dads. Literally, I would’ve killed to have a father like either of them. They’re doing the whole dad thing right.
While that first story is definitely wholesome overall, the thing that sticks out in my mind is why Kathy never bothered to tell OP about the kid. Since Kathy was arrested on drug charges, it's not an unreasonable assumption to think that she's the type of sleazeball who would go gunning for child support as soon as OP had some sort of stable income.
My ex husband's oldest is the kind of mom that Kathy is. She got her kids taken away finally. But....I can see her not telling the dad... Hers already knew but She would have done it purely to be spiteful. Her mother was like that too. They would rather hurt the child and father than take anything from then for support.
Could be because that would give OP a say in what she does with her life. Maybe she was getting money for being a single mom, and having OP in the picture would jeopardize it?
This man is a GODSEND. He didn't complain about having a daughter, was kind and understanding to her and is helping her fully. More people need to be like this man.
Many men are like this... Their problem is just that their partners are literally running away from them, as demonstrated in this story. The real Unicorns are young people that look for parenting skills while dating... Most only care about financials, sex, social standings or submissive behaviour. If most women have the option between a men that enjoys spending time with children, and big Dick Richardson that hates children. Most will pick the Dick, say "I can change him", and then be flabbergasted when their 1st child is born... While also calling the other one a weirdo, creep or even pedophile... Because that's how all men that show any kind of affection even to their own children in public are commonly labelled...
And OP had a valid medical reason and HR previously approved OPs vacuum. I don’t think the guy was even a desk neighbor. He deliberately went out of his way just to harass OP.
We adopted our daughter out foster care and hearing the stories about the temper tantrums and arguments madr me laugh and burst into tears at the same time. Realizing that they felt safe enough to argue or stand up for themself or even just feeling safe enough to cry. It is the biggest wins that you don't even realize Until it happens. The moment that you realize that THEY realize you're not gonna kick them out for having an argument or just being themselves.. It's so heartbreaking and hard but worth it. Dabney. It's honestly been amazing listening to you evolve into Dadney.
The last story is pretty funny because OP was adopted by a cat, then the landlady, and then adopted their sister. Watch in like 1 year a random dog is gonna follow them home and not leave 😂
7 месяцев назад
I am glad I was not sipping a drink when I read this, I would of choked on it with laughter.
I don't normally post on these but damn. That first story hit hard. I'm so glad this kid seems to have a great parent and good on her for diving into books and education instead of drugs and shit.
Dude, its such a small thing but Surprise Dad OP going to the snack bin made me so happy. Its one of the things that gets recommended for kids who have food hoarding habits, and I dont know if the social worker mentioned it or not, but its just one of those options that I feel like could easily be overlooked. Super good on him
Ah this episode jeez! First the young teenage girl slowly opening up to her dad and then the story about the brother and sister connecting, I need to go watch explosion or something after this just to stop feeling so emotional.
As someone who has had a lot of environmental allergies my whole life that second story is just bizarre to me. Why are people treating allergies like a mental health issue or something faked for attention? Dust allergies are awful, it gives me sneezing fits so bad I actually start to overheat and get dizzy, I need to mask up to do housework.
Well, it sounds like co-worker Tom made another comment on the situation. I hate how people think allergy pills are a magical cure all. They are just part of a treatment plan and sometimes the side effects can be just as bad or worse than the reaction.
Story one: As well as the tearing down walls thing, it sounds like she's testing the water with the arguments. She feels comfortable with him, but she doesn't feel all the way yet, and the being moody and stuff would be a way of seeing if he'll keep her around. Like "If I yell at him, and he doesn't hurt me or send me away, maybe he'll keep me long term and I don't have to worry about letting out my emotions and trauma around him."
Hehe... freaking out over the color of a sippy cup... Sounds like something I'd have done. I'm extremely sensitive to colors (colors and colored lighting can dramatically affect my state of mind) and my mother has never cared what my favorite colors are, and which I hate, so just gets me whatever. I'm 40 now. I'm glad it seems like that mother's likely to remember!
I totally relate to OP's daughter about the school thing. As a kid, my favorite thing to do was go to school, I always hated having to go home or any time school was on break. I didn't recognize my childhood as abusive until I was maybe 19 or so. Everyone always thought I liked school cuz I was weird but nah... it was cuz it just wasn't home.
God story one made me emotional too. I was pretty much in the daughter’s shoes with my mother growing up, but luckily my dad was still around. The staring at kids who have a good relationship with their mom hit me so hard because I do that too! Also yes- can confirm that I do argue more with my dad than mom because he cares about and loves me so much and I’m able to be myself and speak to him. It also hurts more when HE slips up(even if not meaning to) because of the fact I expect ***NOTHING*** from my mother so I’m (mostly) able to brush off when she fails me yet again.
The OP in stories one and three have my respect and admiration. I don't know if they truly understand the importance and impact they will make on these kids. In story 1, the daughter would most likely have run away from the foster care system and who knows what would have happened then. The three year old would maybe had a better shot, but the CPS sustem is truly a crap shoot. I am so grateful to my Grandma (RIP 1929-2020) that she took me in when my mother abandoned me and her parents called my Grandma to tell her "either you take IT, or IT is going to an orphanage" I was five and I remember it to this day. My father was killed when I was three and it was his mother who took me in and raised me.
Story 2: I’m lucky in that I had doctors that were actually willing to diagnose my dust mite allergy and sleep apnea caused by it. I struggled for a long time with stuffy noses, sinus infections, the works, but now with regular cleaning, a humidifier, air purifier, flonase, and sinus rinses, it’s actually manageable now 😅 I hope she can finally breathe easy!
For story 1: If she still has problems getting food from the kitchen, have a cabinet or shelf dedicated to her where she can put stuff she likes. It helps people I know who have those kinda issues but may not work with everyone. Also, try to get her to sew or draw. It helped me through a lot of trauma, and hand sewing is oddly helpful therapy because it can be easy and it's a repetitive motion.
Stories 1 and 3 were so much alike in a great way. Good parenting starts with being there for your kid. Nobody starts off perfect, but putting in the effort to learn and improve shows how much they care. I have a good feeling that these kids are getting the care that they need and will turn out good in the end.
*Story 1 truly makes me greatful my mom loved and supported me. Imagine for 15 years being abused by someone who brought you into this world, than you get taken away to live with basically a complete stranger who just happens to be your dad. This girl been thru hell, all cuz the mom is a garbage human. And shoutout to the OP. Man's been a dad for only a few months and he's already been more a parent for his daughter than his ex ever had. I pray 🙏🏿 that the 2 of them will have a good relationship and continue to grow together as child and parent. They both deserve it.*
Story one made me cry ! OP and his daughter are doing great. Of course it's not easy and they are both learning how to live with each other and how to adapt to this father/daughter relationship... But OP is really doing his best and I'm happy that his girl is finally getting a great parent figure !
Story 1: his daughter might also be testing him to see if he’s going to abandon her too. I did the same as I started to get more comfortable with my adoptive parents.
the op of the first story is the pinnacle of what a father should be and i hope the mother never gets out of prison and doesn’t have any rights over the child
Story 2: diagnosed with disabilities later in life at NIH and i feel shame for them bc of the work culture in america. Sitting down, drinking and eating, calling out are all very very frowned upon here despite them being necessary. I got fired for calling out sick too frequently (twice in 3 months and i had a doctors note each time) despite me telling them i have no immune system when i was interviewed.
For the first story. I agree if only he had known earlier of his daughter's existence but I mean, maybe they met at the perfect time each of them needed each other. Growing through pain and suffering. It is what shows how strong a relationship is
The first and last stories are pretty emotionally heavy. A thank you to the authors for sharing, and thank you to Dabney for helping them reach a much wider audience.
Story 1: I think that girl would really like a Kindle or something like that that allows her to read everything she wants whenever she feels like it. It would be a way from OP to say "I really want you to do the things you love" and also to show her that she matters a lot to OP. Still, OP in the story is a wonderful father.... This story is so wholesome!
Story one made me cry, im a 19 year old dude who never has had a kid and i dont think ill ever have a kid myself, but that story just hit me right in the feels.
Oh I Love lovelovelovelove the “small victories” in the last story! Small things, HUGE victories! That baby jumping off the mats into her sister’s arms! 😭😭 My favorite!! Can’t neglect the first story with OP taking his daughter with no questions asked! She wanted him to look at her tests to see how he’d respond! Oh my heart! 💜💜💜
So I start the day with coffee and happy/proud tears… I find it so strange sometimes when I experience this deep overwhelming pride for total strangers. Bravo to both of you. After my wife and I had been married for a few years we had the opportunity to take in my younger sister-in-laws. Mind you, both parents are alive and live in the same town but have chosen drugs so we provided them with a safe place to grow up. So again Bravo, the people you choose to change your entire life for will realize how much effort you provided just so they have a chance at a happy successful life.
First Story. As much as I wish op could have known about his daughter sooner. The likelihood that op might have ended up on drugs also is very high. I’m happy that op is there for his daughter now.
Story 1: Yeah is OP ain't bringing it up I fear my concerns about screams and nightmares at night were true, she suffered horrendous abuse, and given her mothers drug habits...... I fear she offered her daughter up in exchange for drugs and/or money as I have known girls in that sort of situation and it is why I have no sympathy for hard drug users who put the drugs above their kids. But god bless OP, he is a stand up, gigachad, legend of a man, dude is abso9lute 100% ultra dad material.
Story 2: the co worker is TA. I also have a dust mite allergy. At my last job, they had 14 of us, and our computers crammed into a small room. I cleaned my station once a week. Once my desk neighbors knew why they also took the initiative to clean their desks at the same time. It helped us keep the room more tidy, and at least one other person noticed a small improvement with their allergies. It's not hard to be nice to your co-workers.
1st story hit hard. I started to know my daughter at 13. She was the best thing that happened to me. Then in 2021 a street racer took her from me. I'm a wreck hearing that story since I felt that first hand. Op it wont be easy but you will never have a boring day. Welcome to fatherhood. The best thing that could happen to many.
Unexpected daughter story: OP, all things considered you are doing a great job. You're reassuring her that she has meaning, you're praising her school achievements, socializing with her, making her feel safe and wanted and just being there for her despite the newness of all this to you as well. Will you sometimes disagree/fight? I'd be surprised if you didn't, but you're handling things like a pro. Good job stepping up and doing the best you can. Dust allergy story: NTA! You have a medical condition you are doing your best to cope with. You were not hurting Tom in any way, shape or form. He just wanted something to create problems for you. You wisely reported him. Given his immediate firing, it wasn't his first warning by HR. Little sister story: First off thank you for taking in your little sister. You know what you went thru and chose not to allow her to have to deal with the same things. All new parents go thru a learning process, but admittedly it's harder when it's a toddler and you've never even considered being a parent (which you are now despite actually being her sister). There's plenty of help out there if you ask, which you seem to have learned to do. Overall, well done!
Feel so bad for story 1 daughter. I'm similar to the dad but not NEARLY as bad. Lots of problems (kids not abused, per se, but neglected) led to me getting custody (I passed CPS home inspection w/ flying colors, she failed SPECTACULARLY). Dirty clothes/dishes, garbage bags piled up, dog crap on the floor. I have no idea why she didn't even bother to attempt to clean up before they came for the visit. She HATED me for that (like, htf was that MY fault?) We had the same issue with reg meals/hiding food. They didn't eat regularly before (they were fed every day but not a lot) and wanted to make sure they had something so they didn't go hungry. The kids were even confused as to why I did dishes every night after dinner and laundry every 3 days. (Dishes & laundry cleaned after days of nothing clean w/ mom) We got two cats, Edward (older dau. cat) and Snowball (younger's) and the girls loved those cats. I took care of the litter box because I know cat litter isn't good for girls, especially since my older daughter was 11. They had chores (food & water for cats, keep their room clean, pick up their toys, dirty clothes in laundry basket, put rinsed dishes in sink, shower every night) They had limited TV time as well. Snack after school and then homework, then family stuff, dinner.We talked about our days, some TV/video game (N64) relaxation time, we'd go out for walks, do arts and crafts, decorate their rooms, play games. The chores and limited TV rules were a sore spot and they fought that HARD! There were some really rough times for a year but with patience, it worked out. Ex realised what she did, attended AA/NA. Great success. Been clean/sober for 25 years. We are now best friends and the best co-parents and grandparents to 7 wonderful grandchildren that you ever want to see. One of the rare complete success stories but there's always hope. There will be good times and there will be bad times but with patience, the good times will win out. I wish him the best I left a lot of specifics out because honestly, it's nobody's business, and it may be too easy for people to recognize the story.
Point of order regarding the dust allergy story: OP said in an edit that she was coming in early to vacuum her desk in an effort to avoid disrupting fellow office mates. She also had checked that her vacuum was, in fact, quiet/discreet.
Story 2: OP should consider an allergy medication regiment, not to please anyone else but as a way to improve her health or at least so that they're on hand in case of an emergency. Not for an "I should probably visit the ER" emergency, but in order to keep those cold-like symptoms at bay when she gets stuck in environments outside of her control. As an allergy sufferer, I can verify that having the meds on hand can keep an entire day from being ruined.
I love the acknowledgement and reaffirmation(?) of "bad behavior"(?) Now of course this isn't a definite statement or anything, but yes! Negative behaviors can display a positive situation between the guardian and child! I grew up with anger issues and issues with "authority", and it's definitely lead to quiet a few issues with me and my mom, but in the same breath, I have a foul mouth with her, because I *trust* her.
9:11 I'm allergic to dust, I take allergy medicine EVERYDAY, I still have allergies. No matter how clean an area is, there will always be dust, it's not avoidable. I suggest OP get an office plant that can combat dust like a spider or snake plant. (Obviously check other folk's alleegies)
Story 3: I also recieved a letter from CPS last year in regards to my 3 and 1 year old brother being removed from my father's custody after the mother was breastfeeding while on heroine. I had never met them but did spend some time trying to figure out how to get them. Unfortunately, as I live in a dorm at my university year round since I am otherwise homeless. I couldn't find an apartment I could afford. They went with the mother's cousin (her family and my family are all screwed up and should not be raising any more kids - so I wasn't happy about that). Now they're back with my father. I really hope things turn out okay for them. Good job on the sister for taking in her sibling - I wish I had been in a position in life to do that.
Both the OP finding out about his 15 year old kid, and the OP taking in their 3 year old sister, are a level of responsibility and love that all parents should aspire to. Bravo to both of them, and best of luck raising both kiddos.
Story 2- the comments from doctors saying it’s just hormones and a period/pregnancy should fix it hits close to home. I get suicidal every time I get a period and I just get told it’s “normal” and “nothing to be concerned about because it’s just hormones” it feels insulting to have your concerns just brushed off because I happen to menstruate.
Have you looking into PMDD? It stands for Premenstrual dysphoric disorder. My sister has it, and it's rough. Essentially, it can cause severe anxiety and depression (including ideation) before and during your cycle. Doctors aren't sure what causes it, it might have to do with the way some people handle fluctuations in their Serotonin levels, but there are treatments that they can do to limit the severity of the symptoms. The bottom line is this: you aren't crazy, what you're going through is real, and there are things that can be done to make your life better. I hope you find the help you need!
@@transsnack Thank you for the suggestion and kind words ❤️ I have spoken to my doctor about the possibility of having PMDD, but I also Depression/Anxiety/PTSD so my concerns were written off as being normal since I already struggle with those thoughts when not menstruating. Thankfully, I’m in therapy and have a good support system so even if I can’t get medical treatment, I have great emotional care in place to help me when I’m struggling.
oof i feel for the dust one. i physically can't work in an office ever again for several reasons. allergies are a big one. between food allergies (ppl not respecting that), allergies to harsh cleaning chemicals, allergy to mold (older buildings are the worst), and dust (like op). and then overstimulation with my neuro disabilities... it's a no-go -.- so glad to wfh
Story 1: The reason why she got mad at OP is apparently very common: Children that have been tossed aside and neglected like her, try to push boundaries and lash out to see if whoever is in charge of them now will also abandon them.
Oh not the last story too 😭😭 this episode is hitting me hard it's way too close to home I'm so grateful every day that I was able to stay on my feet after being with my grandparents and not end up on the street like op did
9:00 I have extreme allergies to hazelnuts and peanuts. And you know what? My colleagues make sure there's never a single nut around me or if there is, they warn me beforehand because the smell is unpleansant for me (yes, I'm THAT allergic). None of them EVER expected me to take anti-allergy meds to simply EXIST in the office
That first story really made me miss my 14yo "stepdaughter". I was a parent to her for 3 years and her bio mom also really dropped the ball, so she could really use another responsible and caring parent figure in her life, and I loved being that for her, but her dad won't let me see her anymore. I didn't even get to say goodbye and as far as I know, her dad told her don't love her anymore. It's been over 4 months now, but it feels like a year
Story 1: Dabney is right OP is a victim as well, more specifically a victim of circumstance, he had a girlfriend who ghosted him, got pregnant, and then got arrested for drug offenses, and left OP on the hook for parental duties 15 years later, that would be scary for both the parent and the offspring, and OP had no idea how to do anything with being a parent
