Exactly! He wasn't looking for an excuse to leave. He convinced himself that his relationship was not going to work out despite how well it was going. Then poked, prodded, and begged with all his might to prove himself right. Which is why he left instead of trying to improve like he said he would.
@@Roozyjit’s like telling your friends your partner has an extremely small member. You’ll think it will just be laughs with the girls. Then at some inopportune time. One of the girls will bring it up publicly in front of him. It will then be divorce/separation. Or you’ll have to do some sexual favors you didn’t want to do in perpetuity. So, mouth shut now or pay for it later. Remember three can keep a secret. If two are dead. Better yet you can’t be held responsible for something you didn’t say.
3rd story just made me wanna say "womp womp" so bad. Bro *begged* to know one negative thing his gf said about him, he got his answer, got upset, then *begged* and pestered his girlfriend to confirm it only to get upset yet again. He just ruined his life for nothing.
Yeah I agree, don't ask question you don't want answers to. And he already knew the answer before he asked. That said... she telling that to her friends behind his back is really hurtful. A lot more then "you are not the best guy I had sex with".
Amy dodged a bullet without even knowing it was headed her way! She’s a ninja 🥷 and deserves a grown up a a partner. OP, when you continue to search for negatives, you will find them. I imagine you have gone through Amy’s phone, tracked her every move and gone through her SM. Grow up and stay away from women for the love of all the blue in the sky. You broke Amy’s heart and have the nerve to think you’re the victim? Pathetic git!
"I told her it really wouldn't hurt me if she told me the truth, and that marriage was built on honesty..." DUDE! You lied to her in the first part of that sentence! Here's some honesty: she dodged a bullet and is better off without you.
3rd story in a nutshell: "I know I'm insecure, but I pressured my best friend to tell me something that I know would upset me and now I've destroyed my life! Woe is me!"
He is unfortunately writing his own self fulfilling prophecy about his insecurities. If he owned it and decided to work on the situation he would be fine. He blatantly refuses to improve himself and justifies by being insecure and trying to hide from those insecurities.
My crazy ex told her friends that I like to sniff her farts!!! I asked where she even came up with such a strange thing to lie about?! After that, her "friends" always looked at me weird! Ex was a master manipulator... But, ultimately it didn't last very long! Op was right to Nope out!
lol try "definition of incel" @@yeayea8226 this man had all he wanted and was too insecure in himself to take one piece of criticism and grow from it.... as if he should be born a great lover or something. It's pretty obvious why his fiance never brought this up to him
Last story: the cop was definitely calling someone to say this dude was at it again. Bounce check guy is a repeat offender and scammer and the cop is sick and tired of dealing with with him.
I was thinking the same thing. Writing bad checks is a crime pretty much everywhere. Especially after the dude came to OP demanding the charges be withdrawn says this wasn't the first time he'd kited a check.
Many years ago I had a small business and was given a bad check. Took the courthouse to file small claims, the clerk had the same reaction as the cop in the story, this guy again, and showed me a stack of his bad checks. I filed criminal charges vs civil claim. Never heard any more about it but have always hoped I caused problems in his life.
For story one I’m not saying that she had Bipolar Disorder but multiple generations of it makes you much more likely to develop it (Psych major.) The erratic behavior and possible grandiose thoughts are definitely symptoms
I'm with you on this one. The pace and certainty at which she changed her mind about the husband is on par with what a hypomanic episode would be. And the nervous breakdown? Depending on how bad it was and how long it was... I'm not a professional. My mom was diagnosed, and it's pretty similar to her behaviour pattern when untreated. She should at least see a professional for a possible diagnosis.
sounded a lot like bipolar to me as well. my dad has it and im also suspected of having it so ive looked into it a lot so i can recognise any signs in myself.
@@FrederikEngelmand Coupled with the fact she hit the “7 year itch”. These guys that land other men’s wives aren’t amazing mind readers. They just hit on every woman and see which ones take them up on the offer. After enough interactions you start seeing patterns and then can recognize signs. Back the wayward wife now. Isn’t it convenient she has some diagnosed mental issues in the family. That she can now use as an excuse on the guilt she’s feeling as the “affair fog” lifts. She’s diving into this character of being bi polar as opposed to being a crappy partner.
I grew up around cops. Not one, family members were. If they volunteer to do extra paperwork to stick a charge on you, they really really don't like you lol.
Because he is embarrassed! How can you think it's embarrassing that one person says you aren't the best lover ever existed but it's not embarrassing to move to another state because of this?
He Begged for something, anything bad she said! He WANTED to break up but didn't want to be the one to do it, so he made it her fault!!! Honestly after all his begging & whatever else he did, he could have just lied! Amy might not know it yet but OP is too young to get married! Actually he's too young to be in a relationship at all! He wants to fool around & act like a kid!
Yes. And he deserved that the best friend dumped him afterwards too! You don't put your BEST FRIEND into the position to choose between telling you sth and losing the other friend or don't tell anything and lose you! That's just sick! I know, that in my friendgroup my friends sometimes will talk about me, and I talk about other friends with friends. But I like to think, if someone has a real concern about me, they would talk to me directly. Because, that's what I do. I talk about sth other friends did, if it's not a big secret or if it's not really personal! I think every circle of friends has auch a dynamic. As long as the talks are not g0ssip or really Bad mouthing someone it's completly okey. What OP did was a grade A a55 hole move!
@@j.d.l._666 when did OP say his friend dumped him? Both OPs fiancée and best friend begged him to stay. He dumped them because they're both untruthful buttholes. I think OP should have stayed in contact with his friend because she actually told him the truth unlike his bitch of a fiancée who took multiple times to tell the truth. But it was ultimately his choice and I don't see anything wrong with cutting them out of his life.
I actually met one of my best friends on an adult cam site. I knew of her personally because she lived very close to me. So I took my shot, landed, realised we weren't a great match for dating, but really great friends.
2:43 sounds like bipolar disorder. Its coming in waves of periods of a few weeks. Bipolar isnt an immediate on off thing, this tracks, but also isnt a diagnosis.
My fiance cheated on me when some new dude came into the picture and she was unmedicated for her bipolar. It’ll really fuck with someones head and shift who the bad guy is during their mood swings
@starsagaart4788 idk what your relationship is with her, but proper help and medication can help her. However, bipolar disorder is an explanation for her behaviour, not an excuse. Make sure to advocate for your needs and boundaries as well.♡
@@starsagaart4788 Out of curiosity, did you take her back after she cheated? If you did, will you always take her back when her "bipolar causes her to cheat? (since it seems like you're implying she cheated due to her bipolar, rather than a desire/availability to cheat)
I know what you mean by "The Hub," but I can't help imagining that OP & her lover are big fans of _Transformers Prime_ & _My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic._ 🤣
What was that third story??? that guy is the perfect representation of DRAMA, the way he described his girlfriend and the comments she made about him she really loved him I can't belive that he left EVERYTHING he had for one bad "joke"
And istead of asking what he can do to better the experience, what he should work on, what her likes in that area are, he just digs his heels in and won't budge. Sad
@@kitsuneVneko and instead of talking it out and asking her why didn't she tell him and going to therapy and *actually being honest* and upset. He is toxic masculinity personified.
We should know what state that guy is moving to in two months so we can warn all the ladies living there to stay the hell away from that immature, crazy dude. Throwing away a marriage over a single comment without working it out with his fiancée is TRUE immaturity.
Story 2: that guy is such a winner! Texts a woman who he found through sex work to create a connection beyond the physical. To share pictures of his cats, which is so, SO wholesome. Wishing all good things for OP and her husband
I connected with my current GF discussing museums and cats... I simply do not understand and why other men don't do this. Although I am admittedly sort of on the Ace spectrum, I think, so I would never think to bring sexual talk up in casual conversations or flirtations. I guess I don't understand how and why other men flirt, thankfully I am hetro (but a bit ace) so it does not matter a bit to me. You comment gave me a place to vent, I apologize if it is a bit random.
@@Simipourfangirl I work with dogs and I can confirm the same, I have gotten way more attention from both straight men and lesbians. This would be amazing if I was bi but I'm aro ace 🤣
A friend of mine is a half-Asian full time professional model. She's into just about everything. She started doing loyalf@ns during C0v1d to supplement her income. She's a great person, absolute gem to work with and a blast to hang out with. Her boyfriend is the luckiest guy in the world.
I can understand being hurt, and feeling insecure after you hear that your girlfriend said you weren't good in bed. What I can't get behind is ending the relationship after she explains and tells you that sex isn't as important to her as these other qualities you have, and she loves you for those things. Also, you can ask her for feedback to get better at pleasing her. Sounds like OP either had this picture of himself as a true alpha male, and and anything that tainted that image was unacceptable in his life, or he was freaking out internally about the wedding and was looking for any small thing to use as an excuse to end it.
Exactly this. I don't believe for a second that OP wouldn't have had the same reaction if she had just communicated with him. The fact he had to badger her for an answer tells me that she is likely aware of how insecure he is and was hesitant to tell him because of that. Moreover, his actions really give the impression that he either has an unrealistic image of himself (after all, if he was really just hurt about her telling her friends about something like that then why not just TELL her that instead of jumping straight to canceling your marriage?) or he was looking for an excuse to end the marriage.
Story Three: No, man, you didn’t lose your fiancé and best friend. You tossed her out like trash because there was a little scuff on the relationship. A scuff YOU had to search REALLY HARD to find. Seriously, dude had to beg her friends to tell him ANYTHING negative and then blew his own life up when they finally told him what he wanted to hear rather than doing something like, oh I don’t know, communicating.
Story 3: I know OP has the right to do what he feels it’s the best for him but what did he expect after asking again and again what his girlfriend said about him to others? Don’t ask questions you don’t want the answers to.
Like he was literally begging for this information so he can “improve” but as soon as he heard it, he ended the relationship. He never wanted to improve on shit. He’s just a dick
@@aliveashes4532 Exactly!!! Like, you have to accept you're not the best at anything, in life... The important thing is being the person your loved ones want in their life.
@@aliveashes4532anyone who listens to women talk, they don't always want the best or biggest forever. They want a person who is attentive, tries, makes them feel loved and attractive, and the guy isn't selfish (all the time, sometimes they want their man to lose control and just go at it). Yet this little boy gets hurt and doesn't attempt to try. If his ex was talking about sex before. Then she's going to BRAG about it later.
Story number 3: this guy’s straight up a doofus. He was willing to ruin 2 different relationships over the fact he isn’t the best at those passionate hugs and the fact his fiancé said so.
Or the fact he can't trust her to keep anything private and can't trust his friends to not lie and hide things from him. No woman would stay with a man who went to his female and male friends and talked about how multiple exs were better in bed than the one they are gonna marry. Like you know now not only can they not communicate with you, they tell friends private info without the full picture or consent of both parties, but they are and have been thinking of other people while passionately hugging you. How can you trust her to not cheat cuz her needs aren't getting met her way and she cant communicate how remedy that? There's alot of trust issues this guys just doesn't want to deal with now so he moving where he won't get harassed back into relationships/friendships where he can't trust the people in them.
@BVBGirl-3313 I think that might be an overgeneralization of all situations like that. I know personally, I wouldn't leave or cheat on my boyfriend just cause I didn't enjoy sex simply cause I love him way more than sex. And to me, that's somewhat what the woman sounds like. Maybe she didn't care enough to try to fix the issue and cause a potential sore spot. Or maybe she was working up the courage to bring it up to her fiance by talking about it with friends first. It can feel good to discuss problems with relationships with other people and get advice. While I agree that she should have talked to him about the problem, I do think it's a bit of an overreaction to just immediately drop everything and move to a different state.
I find it funny that there's a rare story where the wife actually starts to communicate with her husband, the husband takes the chance to trust his feelings to support her and it all works out in the end. Then Dabney shits all over that in being all "This marriage ain't gonna survive".
I don't think he believes in reconciliation. I think he believes that if you hit a rough patch big or small the marriage is over. I understand in many cases it is, but some people genuinely want to and can fix things if they put in the effort.
I thought I was the only one bothered by that Like I do understand the impact that cheating has on someone, but every relationship and situation is different. If someone gets back together with someone that cheated it's not our place to judge whether or not it'll work. Especially since the situation in the first story sounded like severe trauma. Hope everything works out for them honestly
The ego is a powerful force and any chink to it will cause things to spiral. It's why a lot of cops end up on channels like Audit the Audit and a lot of bosses end up on Reddit or FAIL Blog.
You are asking for him to read her mind, for her to not lie prior or after, and for her to be a decent SO. She ruined it. The fact she can gossip it with mutuals, and not ever tell him... Pathetic...
@@RedrumZombies Jesus Christ - you sound like the guy in the story. I don’t think I know 1 guy or girl who doesn’t gossip about their partner to the mutuals. The friend wasn’t telling him to his face, HE was trying to dig it out of her!! He was looking for an out as he was scared of marriage, or he really is so easily offended about his fragile masculinity. Either way, he shouldn’t be in a relationship.
@@RedrumZombies have you ever been in a long term relationship? Because people talk, guys and girls both. It's normal to talk to your friends about your relationship. It is not normal to run away like a coward at the first sign you're not thought of as perfect in every way.
In the story where OP's fiancee is not giving his passionate hugging high marks, I can see where she is coming from. It is very telling that even in his own post, where he is trying his best to make himself out to be the wronged victim, and even knowing that she is not completely satisfied, he never once says anything about communicating with his fiancee about what she would like, nor what he could do to improve passionate hugging for her. This guy is utterly wrapped up in his own ego, apparently without the least concern that his fiancee is unhappy with that aspect of the relationship. And, it is an aspect that likely could be fixed with a little communication. And really, did this couple never communicate during passionate hugging? No faster, slower, harder, softer, more, less, comments along the way? Does he really believe that slam-bam-thank-you-ma'am would be enough to make her happy? If this is how this guy deals (and really fails to deal) with such an important aspect of their relationship, then I say that fiancee is well rid of him. Imagine what their relationship would be like with him throwing a temper tantrum every time she fails to give him full praise for his very every action, whether she is happy or not.
i wonder if she did try to communicate the issue to him or if she didn't because she knew he'd freak out and do what he did when he found out. i mean, OP did say that he is insecure and that everyone knows it. i think she decided that okay sex was perfectly fine because she loved everything else about him and that telling him he has some skill issues would only hurt him. so she didn't, because she didn't want to hurt him. but yeah, she's better off without this pathetic whiny baby.
@@abiean222 I also wondered if she tried to communicate with him or not. I tend to think that if she tried he didn't listen. But it is also possible that, as you noted, she stayed silent knowing he would react badly, so she stayed silent, and wonder what else she was choosing to stay silent about to avoid his temper tantrums.
story 3, the _audacity_ of the guy "I have 'lost' my fiance and my friends .. bla bla .." nah dude, you alienated _all_ of them, alienated them from you _and: from each other. That's horrible and it's all on _you_ . you're not a victim, you're the villain, and your rationalisations are not fooling anyone. unreal.
@@CRSB00 because some men are so insecure about sex that they stop thinking the moment someone is hinting that they might not be the enlightenment of womenkind. And that's the reason why most women will never tell you the truth.
Yeah, he was fishing for an excuse to leave. Like he made the decision to burn all his relationships to the ground too quickly for it to not be the sole purpose of his question expedition.
The third story is so weird, if my girlfriend literally said I was the best she could ask for except one flaw that I could EASILY change I WOULD BE OVERJOYED
That third story… man wth, I am just as weirded out by how much so many women talk about sex/their partners in a sexual way as the next guy, but that’s soo not something to ruin everything over Rslash is so right, mans needs to calm down and just ask what he can change to do better
I don't think I would even talk about something so private like that. But yeah, he ended their wedding over it. She even reassured him that he had other qualities about him that she liked
@@ItsMeBarnaby valid, but whether he viewed it as a deal breaker or not, leaving everything behind like that? Like sure break up, avoid her friends, but the family, the best friend? It’s just so much over something a small group of people know about imo Leaving the city MAYBE, but it’s just sad to leave behind anyone who wasn’t talking like that behind his back
@@mysiklp2509 The family and friends didn't care about him, only the "good qualities" he gave them... It's like laughing at that 1 helpful kind friend that just lost their sibling... If anyone cared, he'd not need to constantly ask for truthful communication back... If they cared, the GF wouldn't share intimate stuff, and the friends/family would tell him immediately... Where is 1 decent quality about the GF? She wouldn't communicate when initially confronted... Let alone bring up the smaller issue of how they are in bed prior to everything...
@@RedrumZombies from how it’s told, it seems like the girl didn’t wanna give any bad things about the guy, but the friends just kept hounding her. Best choice is to stick with “nothing he’s perfect” but it seems like her friends are the only yucko ones here. And it sounded like his family just wasn’t involved in the whole situation, as well as his friend I assume being removed from the situation as well. I may just be misremembering or have misheard what was going on, but I swear it was just the girls friends being nosy as fuck It seems more like he just is insecure and wants to know everything everyone thinks about him (same) but people don’t wanna just talk bad about him (understandable) as opposed to no one having truthful communication Like if a friend asks me what I hate about them, I’m telling them I love them just how they are because it’s true! I may have things I dislike but I would never care enough to make it an issue, especially if I know they’re insecure and would obsess over if That being said, different interpretations are valid since we only know a small snippet of the story from one perspective, and it’s probably already said and done with the move
... Are you serious? She's gossiping behind his back and he's the problem? Fuck you. Maybe she'll learn not to talk about her fiance behind his back next time.
@@ItsMeBarnabyShe didn't make fun of him, she just said one thing she didn't like about him. Nobody's perfect, not even your partner. And bro literally went out of his way to find out what she didn't like about him, not to try and improve to be a better partner, but to go nuclear and hurt a lot of people. Yes, he's toxic and insecure, and she deserves someone better.
@ItsMeBarnaby Lmfao, she said he was 'not the best she had ever had'. She didn't say 'he sucks at sex'. She said he was average 😂 how is that making fun??? She literally said 'Oh, he's perfect aside from one little thing that he can improve at' and the dude's fragile little ego imploded. What a manbaby.
I honestly don't understand how Bro begged to hear one bad thing & when he heard it- he flipped out. Why not take it as an opportunity to ask her what he could do better? Marriage isn't sex alone, but it goes a long way if both people can try to get better for each other. He's a drama queen & it won't get better if he acts like this.
Irreparable damage? As soon as she started this mess, she did irreparable damage. Catching feelings for someone is normal, but she's married. That's the problem is she's risking her marriage for feelings. Love is more than feelings.
I understand the ex-wife on that first three was grieving and probably going through so much pain knowing that she lost her brother but at the same time it does not excuse her behavior to just want to be with somebody else and leave OP her husband who had to put up with so many moments of her crying and suffering through the idea of that loss all for her to pick us random stranger over him who has never done any of that for her and that's what's so selfish about this whole entire story is how the ex-wife would rather choose some dude she barely knows that she met at the gym over OP and you know what I'm not going to lie and a sad way this is going to sound harsh but Op dodged a bullet and he can find somebody so much better because if the wife really cared about this marriage and really cared about Op and realize that he was the only person there for her during her time of grief and loss she would have known better that this is something she needs to step away from in somebody she needs to stop talking to especially when they were going through the time of trying to make it work through couples counseling but rather than that clearly you know the ex-wife made her choice
Story 3: Oh my god. I think Ops ex fiancé dodged a bullet. He can't take a bit of criticism, even jokingly. I can't imagine being married to someone who's willing to up and leave his whole life, moving states away, cause he got his poor fefes hurt over some criticism that he asked to hear! It's like asking a comedian to roast you and then getting mad about it. Yeesh.
3rd story: Ultimately this was a win for the fiancé, image being legally bonded to such a pathetic bag of insecurities. He’s trying to make himself sound sympathetic and is still failing. He begged to hear something negative then obsessed over it, he didn't want to get married he wanted an excuse, he's not just a coward when it comes to commitment he's a loser that refuses to be accountable. He ruined his finances friendship, canceled a wedding that takes months if not YEARS of planning then skips aways from all the devastation he caused. It's a good thing he didn't marry, he's a ticking time bomb for martial abuse
That whole "he wants a girlfriend from the third world to come home and serve him" attitude is disgusting and honestly racist. It implies that nobody can legitimately fall for someone from a developing country and dehumanizes them. And this crap ironically usually comes from the people who are supposedly not racist.
The only people saying it are entitled first world women who are angry that first world men are checking out of the insanity of the modern dating scene. Instead of looking inward and taking accountability, they try using shaming tactics.....the same tactics that have made modern dating so toxic.
Story one, trauma is not an excuse, I heard this story before, I have constant nightmares about my cousin who was 18 at the time attacking me (8 at the time) it doesn’t make me want to cheat. That is just an excuse for her not to be held accountable for her own actions. I make sure from my trauma to no screw over the ones I love. Also is an update where the wife ditched op again to go back to the affair partner
Story 3: OP ruined his whole life over a topic men talk about all the time but somehow when women do it,’it isn’t ok? Like, I don’t even care if OP has never talked with another guy about his sex life, what matters here is that this is just another thing that when women do it, it’s bad, but I bet he’s never thought twice about his guy friends talking about their sex lives.
@@devinhudson honestly, he would've kept his stupid questions to himself or kept his ego in check, all of this could've been avoided. that guy was just looking for drama. don't ask questions if you can't handle the answers - it's really that simple.
@@MegaAstroFan18 nope, I’d be saying she’s blowing it out of proportion, just like this guy is, but go ahead and keep assuming everyone who points out gendered double standards are hypocrites.
What an AH! (Story 3) one question could have solved the whole issue: "oh, how can I do better?" But no this guy throws it all away because his ego is bruised...
@@RedrumZombies yeah you do have a point, but he's sharing with the whole internet. And guys and gals all discuss these details in their friend groups, it's just part of life. She didn't even say it in a bad way either, she never said he was naff, just not the best she'd experienced. I'd have a different view if she was being intentionally nasty about him but she wasn't.
I worked at a small mom and pop gas station for a while. When anyone would write a bad check, they would put it up on the bulletin board along with a sign that said “these people write bad checks“ and they would put the check up with a thumbtack, and it would stay up until the person came and paid and it was taken down. Depending on your country you can do that. What you can also do is go to the police he knowingly wrote you a bad Jack, that is a crime. Speak to a lawyer. Who will take their fee out of the winnings in court. They’re out there and that means they fight harder to win. If they get paid regardless, why should they try harder?
OP from the last story should report the guy to the IRS. If he was given money to pay his employees but didn't they'd be very interested in finding out exactly where that money went. Every employee would have to pay the taxes on an individual case and if those taxes weren't paid there should be an investingation.
About 3rd Story the guy obviously did not know that Girl friends tell each other EVERYTHING. If you sleep with a girl within days her best friend will know how big (or small) you are down there.
For the first story, curious that in the beginning her family tried to reason with her and explained her not to leave her husband because she has those mental issues but she didn't care about it, but now that the other guy was toxic, she appeals to her mental health to wash her hands, as if already cheaters didn't excuse themselves with being insecure and all that stuff. Also, she wouldn't have come back if things had worked out with that other guy.
The third story, I feel there is 3 things going on here. 1, Betrayal of trust, op clearly feels betrayed by her tell her friends. 2, the lying, op likely feels lied to especially if she be telling him for a good while, that’s lying to his face every time they are intimate. 3, inadequate, likely only made worst due to by his already high insecurities. I doubt anyone would be happy for their partner to making them feel any of those 3 things, problem is that the way in which it happened to op. It seems silly but if these were due to a different reason people wouldn’t so against op.
So far, you're the only sane and logical one here. Everyone else appears to be bullying OP for this and yes. He has every right to end things. That's his choice. Plus, what happened with Kiley and her boyfriend is 100% their business. If OP wants to pack and start fresh. That's exactly his choice.
@@purple-47once you understand how to manage your specific needs. Its not bad. However, its a very limiting life if you want to stay in a good place. I wake up and go to bed at the same time, avoid a lot of caffeine, I tend to eat a lot of vegetables, I avoid a lot of screen time, and I really can't handle the heat. Heat. The thing is with bipolar is that your symptoms just kind of slowly happen. You really don't notice things until it's too late. Which really sucks. Manic episodes tend to take 6 months to really happen
@@purple-47 thank you so much. I have the proper medicine right now and my levels aren't toxic. I hope your summer is filled with positive life time memories
bro, story at 9:35 PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH. "Waah! Please tell me something bad, I'm begging!" "Waah! Waah, waah! I can't believe she said that about meeee!!" "I'm breaking up with you because of something I BEGGED FOR! Waah! I can't believe what a horrible person I'm with!" BRUUUUUHHHHHHH. I'm seriously so pissed. He doesn't want to "work on his flaws before marriage," he wants to whine and cry about how nobody not even his girlfriend likes him. Like bro, everybody has flaws. What?
My friend always says once a cheater always a cheater. The wife cheated on you and found out once she left you for her afair partner and found out she was just the flavor of the week with the guy and came back to OP, old reliable in her eyes. What's going to stop her from finding another "gym guy" and cheating on you again OP? Your mistake was letting her stay with you and weaseling her way back into your life.
Story 3: Guy was literally looking for reasons to not get married. Asked over and over for a negative answer, didn't like said answer, and folded in every way imaginable. Could've just had an adult conversation about it, and found out she just liked a certain position and her hair pulled. But literally fleeing the state is more reasonable, ig? 😂
A negative answer is like... Bruh she will turn a spare room into a twilight shrine Not Oh she blabs about personal into to friends rather than communicating with the actual person like an adult ... Like if they stayed together and Op found out he had fertility issues, she have blabbed about his test results before he even knew. He'd prob end up getting the news from his friends that he was infertile and if not they'd still know before he told them. ... Lack of boundaries and trust, who wants to marry that? If roles were reversed everyone would tell the woman to leave
@@BVBGirl-3313 Did he not ask her to tell him about ANYTHING bad? If discussing their relationship with friends who can give advice was a boundary, HE was the one who didn't discuss it. He's even a bit hypocritical for it, cause is that not exactly what he's doing with Kiley? This was his chance to sit down and have a convo about boundaries and what he isn't okay with her discussing with others, cause that's what adults do. I'd see if she was talking about him having ED, or making fun of his size, but this was HER issue that she was discussing with friends. She didn't put anything on him, and even called him The Complete Package. In fact, I could see this being a shut down response to the other friends wanting personal details about their relationship. But he'll never know, cause he didn't want to discuss anything, like an adult. He said he asked this question a lot, so if he felt things weren't all that perfect, why did he also go to friends instead of talking with his ex fiance? This whole thing was fixable.
@Arianainthedark bruh he was thinking they'd say something like ... Oh dude when you get your own house she's gonna have a bedroom dedicated to twilight...she's gonna want to name her kid Bella... Or Bruh she says you fart in your sleep and it smells like rotten eggs. ... But no she has to divulge she's comparing him to others. And when asked about it said it was a joke...however then went on to say she loves him for other things, so it wasn't a joke. She was gaslighting him. ... No woman would stay in that relationship why should he
@@BVBGirl-3313 Okay, you have to be a 🐀. 😭 The lady in Story 1 definitely gaslit her husband, but this is not it. If you can't pick out what part was the joke, idk what to tell you. I'm not saying it because OP is a man. I'm saying it because, uprooting your own life due to embarrassment at not being as good at sex as you thought is extreme.
@@BVBGirl-3313 Lol, you have to be a 🐀 with all the Twilight. 😭 If you can't pick out the joke, idk what to tell you. Idk why you keep trying to bring gender reversal into this. I'm not saying this because OP is a man. I'm saying it because uprooting your entire life due to embarrassment that you aren't as good at s*x as you thought is extreme.
Last story: When I worked in retail we were told never to accept a starter check and based on it being number 003 that's probably what this is. Since it's a new account it's much more likely to bounce.
Edit: I realize he prodded for this information and a lot of people are going to just say "that's what you get" but I just don't see it that way. If I poke and prod and prod and prod and it comes out that I'm being cheated on, I'm not in the wrong for prodding, you're in the wrong for cheating. Pretty sure if I found out my fiance was shit talking the most intimate parts of our relationship to anyone I would be gone too. It isn't that I can't get over the insecurities (this definitely plays a role but not the whole thing). It's that I expose every single flaw of mine to my partner. I try to be loving and kind and try my best to please my partner. If I found out that my utter and complete vulnerability was being used against me to her friends I would not take that well. If you are unsatisfied by your sex life you owe it to your partner to talk to them about it privately. People are into so many different things you NEED to communicate what you like and what you don't. Like, you're saying to my face that I'm doing good and need to change nothing but then behind my back are talking about how it sucks? Like you're not even giving me a chance to improve before blasting my business to your friends. The beauty of a long term committed relationship is that you can both learn each other and over time you can both really perfect how you love each other in the exact ways you both like. This can only happen if both people have trust and feel safe to improve and try their best. Almost NO ONE is the best at sex for everyone. It's very personal and takes a ton of communication to become that for your partner (most the time, obviously I realize some people just click sexually but the reality is most people could make slight changes that would improve their partners experience) It isn't just that you bad mouthed my sexual abilities. You violated the trust and intimacy you need in a relationship. I no longer can trust that I can show you the parts of me that aren't that good cause you'll just tell everyone we know how much I suck. I know leaving is a drastic move but I see this as a way deeper betrayal than your partner just not liking your sex life. Last thing: I don't wanna be with someone that doesn't like our sex life. Maybe to someone else this isn't that important, but to me it's huge. Having a healthy sex life is critical to having a good relationship in my opinion.
The guy in story 3 never even considered working on his "flaw" and asking his fiance how they could make the deed more enjoyable for both of them? Instead he goes full nuclear mode because his ego was scratched a tiny bit, only showing that he has massive insecurities 😂
Lmfao. So this lady goes to the gym. Gets in shape. With her hubby. Notices shes geting looks from a guy. Ruins a marriage. Notices a few months later the guy is a jerk. Gets to move back in... Gets leave from work... Wow. Just wow. Ladies who cry sure can get a lot. Run op. As fast as you can.
story 3: "I'm insecure, I know I am, but I'm just too ashamed over this trivial thing that could easily be fixed with a 'sex for dummy's' book or trying new things in the bedroom." I almost feel bad for op because mental health is a powerful thing that can manipulate you into shitty situations even when you're "aware" of it. But he ASKED to be in this situation. He KNOWS that he's insecure, but he wanted to know what his wife was saying about him anyway. A wise person struggling with insecurity wouldn't touch negative talk about themselves with a 39.5 foot poll. BUT MOVING AWAY!? OVER THIS!? This beyond insecurity! OP needs serious help with his mental issues. OP's wife might not even deserve to be with such a fragile man. In the worst way possible, he might be doing her a favour, because imagine if they were married with kids! The healthy way of fixing this whole situation, would've been to ask the fiancé how to be better in bed. If he can learn to rock her world hard enough that she brags about in the friend group, then no harm no foul. Unfortunately, OP has probably already dug his own grave
Women destroy man via lack of communication and having gossip ----> Man loses it -------> Women gaslight and lie -----> Man either leaves, stays in perpetual pain nobody cares about, or he ends himself. Congrats on siding with the cancer and approving such treatment of someone that should be a mind reader, and all knowing. The grave? You dug it. These women dug it. He chose to find another grave, in another state. He doesn't need to do more for her. She didn't try. She didn't care except when he wanted gone. That's an abuser and victim relationship...
Story 3 was absolutely ridiculous. Okay, you can be a little hurt. But this isn't something you can't fix. You have a lifetime to become the best sexual partner to her ever, and you threw it away because she admitted (honestly) that you weren't the best she's had. That just means you have a goal. Throw your life away for it? What an excessively dramatic baby.
I wish the best for op 1. Most people wouldn't try again, but if he's confident then godspeed brother. Grats to op 2. And ripbozo to op 3. Bro literally begged himself into it and lied to his fiancé saying he wouldn't get upset when he was already hiding he was upset.
Bro, the guy in the third story needs a therapist or something, because his reaction was so over the top. His partner thought he wasn't the best in bed, so instead of trying to improve, you know talking to her, seeing what she liked or different things they could try, he just went nuclear, hurting so many people doing so.
So instead of her keeping it private, and communicating with him...... She spreads it to others and compares to previous people, lies to his face when confronted, and then gaslights calling it a non-issue. But he's evil for being socially and intimately destroyed..... You deserve a 0/10 like her.
Story 1: If it works out and they're happy, then why not. Maybe it wasn't all bad if it revealed that she had unrealized issues that she can get help for now. If it doesn't work out... well then hopefully OP can say that she already had her second chance and move on. It sounds like they don't have kids. If they plan to ever change that... well better to deal with this stuff now rather than have it blow up afterward. Story 2: . . . Nice. Story 3: Begs to hear something bad about himself. Gets his feelings hurt. Shocking. Freaks out and dumps his fiance. Blows up an entire friend group. Flees the state. What an idiot. This is why you can't coddle people too much. This level of soft, weak self-destructive behavior is... pathetic. I pity him for being that way, but I can't feel bad for him for what he did to himself.
Here’s my take on the third story: Wait so let me get this straight 1. His fiancé told very personal stuff about him to other people, because see it as a big deal or not and even if your involved that’s still his sex life as well But 2. She not only lied multiple times about saying it to his face, but then lied about not meaning it(and don’t give me the “it was just a joke” even jokes have some level of truth to them” Is it break up worthy maybe not, did he overreact maybe so but let’s not act like what she did was ok and he is just completely crazy for having an issue with it Like Immagine if the roles were reversed, immagine if a girl just found out her fiancés was telling other people stuff like “yea you know she’s really not as attractive as girls I’ve dated in the past but it’s ok because idc about looks that much” And then when she founds out and askes him about it, he repeatedly lies to her face about it then after admitting tries to say “oh well I didn’t mean it” Y’all would be dragging that guys name through the mud He would be every POS, narcissist, mysoginist and every other bad thing y’all could thing of for even daring to say something bad about his fiancé Again was it an over reaction sure, don’t ask questions u don’t want the answer too nor are ready to hear. That’s pretty common sense But let’s not act like what the she did is just 100% ok and nothings wrong with it
you actually articulated this so well !! these are exactly my thoughts, and i feel like its dumb that people are seeing this in black and white when its clearly more complicated than that
@@felixitations the crazy thing is I don’t even see anything wrong with him choosing to just leave Seems a lot of People only want to see stuff in a way that validates there own feelings
Story 1: Thank you, Rslash. You took the words out of my mouth. Story 2: Other than the PHub connection, something very similar is what my friend Mike is doing. He has been living in Indonesia for the last ten years after meeting a women there online. Story 3: WOW. Dude. Chill, hit the gym. It sounds like his gf was talking him up and realized she’d done too much and was making her friends feel bad…. Now he has no friends, no woman, just a boring, lonely job. The man made himself an incel.
Negative comment story: not nearly enough people are taking into account that Amy decided to tell *all her friends* that OP had flaws, except OP. So OP could not work on improving and getting rid of the flaw, but all of the friends could look at OP knowing he has a shortcoming he did not choose to share with them, but were still shared against his will by the person he trusted the most. That's a breach of trust that would just make the marriage just not work, even if they chose to still go ahead with it. They could have worked it out and learned to trust each other again through therapy, sure, but that's not the path they chose. OP should definitely go to therapy, and being away from Amy and the people who know about this will definitely make the issue easier to work on. He chose to be away by physically moving away, which is...well, an option. There might have been easier and less drastic methods, but that's the one he chose, and it's not objectively bad. Moral of the story: discuss problems with your significant other, unless that significant other is abusive ofc. If you're just unhappy, and not being abused, tell your partner about it. Don't "joke" with your friends about your partner's flaws. That's not only an AH move, but also not at all constructive. "Joking" to friends will improve your situation precisely 0%, and is almost guaranteed to make matters worse.
Honestly OP in story 3 is a major doofus, you have the right to be angry about this but it's not blowing your life other kind of topic ! Just have a serious talk with your partner, go to therapy if that makes you feel so bad but don't do whatever he did ! Honestly his ex fiancée kinda dodge a bullet with that comment.
Story 1 OPs wife, her dead brother, her father and grandfather ALL have Bipolar disorder and unless part of her road to resolve her childhood issues and improve herself is to get medicated for that bipolar disorder, it's gonna happen again. The mania isn't because "toxic relationships are literally addictive", it's because her brain is bi-polar and she's being whipped in to directions by it at all times
Story 3: I’m glad that I’m not the only one who thinks that op is the DEFINITION of drama. How can you end an entire relationship over a small, innocent comment like that?
@@GiordanDiodato first of all, don’t call my hon. Second, op begged to hear one negative comment she may have made, and once he got it, even if it wasn’t a big deal, he decides to end the whole thing, and then start going on a sob story about how “he lost his best friend” through his own actions
@@GiordanDiodatotf trust have to do with this? He sucks at something, oh fn well, too bad. Grow up and get over it. There's no reason for him to act like a baby because she has had better experiences. She didn't say he was the worst, just not THE BEST... It's literally not a big deal, it should have been motivation to do better, not give up. If he's going to give up over something so trivial, imagine if it was something serious that needed attention. He would have left her high and dry
@@GiordanDiodatoYou can't be the best at everything. To get upset about that is pathetic. It's not like she taunted him about it. It's not like her friends made fun of him. If you have close friends, you know there are things you share with them. I can't imagine they were laughing and making fun of op when she shared it, it's just a matter of fact girly conversation. He clearly just wanted any reason to bail, and that's the best he could find.
She literally created the drama... Then more from lying/Gaslighting... Do women not take accountability? Looks not, since you add to the gaslighting to call it "a small, innocent comment". That's like a dude showing the "friend group" a nude of yours and calling that "a small, innocent picture". While all the friends that also your's keep the knowledge of it a secret...
3rd Story: Okay, so the dude wanted feedback to improve before marriage, and when he got that feedback, instead of fixing it, he calls off the marriage? Nah bro, this dude was looking for an excuse to end the relationship. This dude nuked his marriage by basically interrogating a friend of her's. This dude isn't insecure, he's manipulative.
He fixed it. He left the woman that doesn't communicate, lies to his face, and rather downplay everything she's done---gaslighting him... The fix was leaving the social group and finding new people. And it was his childhood friend... Not "a friend of her's"...... You are manipulative.
@@RedrumZombies she didn't feel like he really needed to know that. She was 100% correct. The woman loved him so much she kept a thing that, then though she thought it wasn't important, knew that the dude was going to make it important. Keeping it from him was the right move. He basically had to drug a friend of the fiancee to find an excuse to leave the relationship. He took this feedback, turned it around on the poor woman and left. Classic gaslighting manipulative behavior.
The insecure dude that threw a tantrum and ruined his relationship bc he couldn't deal with a small and FIXABLE criticism from his fiancee is wild. She dodged a bullet bc he would've hung his insecurities over her their whole marriage.
The OP in the 3rd story was overreacting. But a wise man once said: "A good friend talks crap about you in front of you and talks good about you behind your back. A bad friend talks good about you in front of you, and talks crap about you behind your back." It doesn't hurt to learn sets of skills to make your sex life more enjoyable. It also doesn't hurt as much to be honest as to lie.
AYOOOOO, RSLASH! I remember just a few weeks ago, you had an exact story about a guy saying he isn't with his wife for the looks, saying he had prettier GFs before. You @ss-blasted him for that, and said the wife was justified filing for divorce. But apparently, if this guy does basically the same thing as that gal, he needs to "chill out"? How does that work? I'm not saying either call is unjustified on it's own, but the double standards between the two stories were just so glaringly obvious. I think marriage is and should be voluntary, you have no obligation to marry anyone, so you can call it off for pretty much any reason and not owe anyone an apology (even if you might be wrong in the reasonsing).
How are the same though. Story 1. Guy went unprompted about how women are more beautiful than his wife, which hurt his wife. They went to marriage counseling and wife asked if he found her attractive and he said no. No follow up compliment, no blow softened. Story 2. OP goes to his fiancée's friend looking for a bad thing his fiancee said about him. He then hears she has had better sex than with him but he his the whole package. He then fixates on the fact that she has had better sex, even though she clearly states sex isn't important to her. He then ends what sounds like a healthy relationship because his fiancee has had better sex. The difference between @Rslash and you is that he is paying attention to detail while you aren't. It isn't the same story, and both OP are their own problem
I disagree with the 3rd story. OP sounds like the type of person for whom criticism as personal and bad as he received will haunt him forever. It would’ve soured everything about the relationship eventually, so it was probably wise to end it sooner rather than later.
3rd story: Instead Amy lying about it and then trying to apologize for it, she should have expressed what specifically she was not happy with. Us men can always do research and improve upon what we already know but, if she does not share anything, then nothing will change. Good on OP for moving on.
Story 1 : dont think of your life being over think of your finally free of someone who doesn't really love you anymore..just remeber she stepped out on you.. dont let her back in when it finally clicks for her that the guy ain't it.. Update: so disappointed in op for letting his ex wife back into his life even though she ripped his heart out stomped on it took a #1 and #2 on it then now " wahhhh the guy i cheated on you with aint it can i come back".. Story 2 : op literally found the only good car in a valley of crappy disgusting cars.. Update : nice story.. Story 3 : op :" ok fiancee tell me something negative about myself " Op fiancee:" ok your good at sex but not great" Op :" wahhh my feelings".. Update : op is a dingus.. Story 4 : best thing you can probably do op is public humiliation.. take out social media post on him take his picture post it all over the town with the word FRAUD.. Update 1 : ohhh interesting so the fraudster is an experienced fraudster.. Update 2 :" what a dirtbag.. fraudster:" you had no right fighting for your money you poor heathen now give me more of what your making for free just because " ..
can't fix someone who is willingly blind to the awfulness of their spouse. I would say I hope he sees the light, but I doubt it and I feel really no sympathy for him anymore. He made his bed and he can lay in it, even as his wife no doubt will jump on more men in the future.
@@miniman649 you just know in a few months op is gonna post again " wahhhh my wife cheated on me and now is seriously divorcing me what can I do to stop her"..fool..
She didn't come to him to start up the relationship, she came back to him because she needed help and knew it. She even said she wasn't in the state to be in a relationship.
@@thetruth1816 I'm saying that if my ex came to me saying "I'm hurt, broken, an idiot, an in desperate need of help" I'd let her in without a thought because of how much pain she's in. Just because she hurt me doesn't mean I need to hurt her back, it's called being a good person. And I am making absolutely no excuses. I think he's a good man for being there when she needed him, but he should be on guard for any more signs of cheating.
First story: Unfortunately once a spouse cheats, giving them another chance only gives them further opportunity to hurt you over and over again. Whether she’s bipolar or not is largely immaterial. She chose to cheat. It’s worrying that OP is blaming the person she had the affair with, not his wife, which is crazy. I’m sure they’ll be a future update where OP reveals the cheating wife has left him once more. Sadly it seems like he needs to be repeatedly dumped before he realises how she’s using him.
R Slash. What if your wife talks to her friends about your performance with her friends without talking to you first? Gossip can hurt a marriage because women don't usually talk up the husband. The ones that do are a gem. It's a lack of communication. She told her friends and not her partner. She could have encouraged him and directed him, but instead, she told her friends.
3rd story: dude if you're bad at sex, smile at your future wife and ask if she can help you become better and make it into a sexy fun time. You'll get better, grow closer, have fun - and have sex that's good for both! It's not that hard. It's definitely not worth blowing up your marriage, friendship and life over. AND it's not something to blame your wife for when you're the one not satisfying her... Inb4 he does the exact same thing to next woman & posts on Reddit "why does this keep happening to me, am I cursed? 😭" With idiocy and narcissism, yes.
Story 3: insane how everyone's perspective changes depending on the gender making the remark I remember hearing a story a while about a man joked while drunk that his wife wasn't all looks like his ex and the whole comment section and even rSlash said that he deserved to be divorced
I remember that story. And I hated R/ for it. I hate using the gender reversal card. But stuff like this is the reason why it's used a lot because they're just hypocrites.
I agree that getting mad over gender reversal is bad. But that's two completely different things??? The husband in the story was comparing his wife to his EX. While the fiance in this story was just saying he wasn't the best at passionate hugging...which i agree telling your friends about you and your partners love life is a big no no. You're still comparing two completely different things...
@@BILLCIPHER8 not really Both were things they were insecure about Women are insecure about their looks, figure, etc. Men are insecure about how they perform in bedroom, height, etc.
@@aparnarai3708 so you're mad at people making this a gender thing. Then you go ahead and make it a gender thing by assuming that's how every guy and girl acts... Kinda hypocritical tbh.
If you find out you aren't satisfying your partner in bed, you have a conversation about their needs, you don't break up. That guy is a loser and Amy dodged a bullet.
3rd story - the guy lied, he said that it wouldn't hurt. It did hurt. If he wants to fix his flaws before marriage, he will never get done. No one is perfect. He sabotaged his own situation.