r/Choosingbeggars I Don't Want To Catch "The Gay!" 

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As a bisexual can confirm, one knee craves men while the other craves women

Nobody: "The Gay": HEADS, SHOULDERS KNEES AND TOES, KNEES AND TOES

I used to be a heterosexual like you until I took a gay to the knee

"Gayness resides in the joints" It's true, I smoked weed now I'm gay

I CANT STOP LAUGHING AT THE “i was a heterosexual like you, then i took a gay to the knee”

It's true, I caught my ankle kissing some guy on the bus yesterday

The only reason you would want to catch ‘the gay’, is when you already have ‘the gay’.

Well, of COURSE you can catch "the gay"! Happiness is contagious after all!

"I will docx you" Nooo I don't wanna be a Word document aaaaaaaaaa

As someone who studies osteology (bone studies) I can tell you that there are general things we can estimate by studying various bones (sex and age from the pelvis/skull, body size from long bones, etc) but not one can tell me about a person's sexual orientation. That would be AMAZING though. Imagine the studies we could do about sexuality in the past with that info.

Dunno what's funnier : saying that the KNEE is gay or the fear of catching "the Gay"

As a lesbian organ donor I can confirm you will indeed catch "the gay" 🤣

I live a complicated life. My knee is gay, my shoulder is a lesbian, and my hips are non-binary asexuals. But, man, you should see me dance.

If I was a doctor and that lady needed a surgery of any type, I'll tell her i'm gonna use "straight parts", then afterwards tell her "Oh i made a mistake, I actually used a gay shoulder (or whatever she gets surgery on)" and watch her lose it 🤣🤣🤣

"Once I was a heterosexual like you, then I took a gay in the knee" I want this on a tshirt, some please make this lol 🤣👆

I love how the kid tried reverse psychology on that dude like, “nO U MESSAGED ME FIRST BC U WANTED TO GIFT ME. thIs wAs yOur iDeA.”

“I don’t understand that language....what is she speaking??” “Gaynese”

1:24 yea, she won’t be moving forward without that transplant either.

I love how that 9 year old continued to spew slurs and insults even after the guy said he'd do it. Imagine if he was serious, why would you keep insulting him once you get what you want? That kid's probably like 8 I'm not typically one to support harming kids but if I were this kid's mom I'd slap him into the next continent

The guy trying to race the Porsche thinks he’s such a hotshot... when he didn’t even know what kind of engine a 911 has. 🤣

“To protect myself from fortnite kids and karens I use express vpn” now that’s advertising at its finest xD

The fact that she called it a "knee transplant". I had a knee replacement a year ago and it was entirely artificial. I set off metal detectors now XD

This is like the episode of spognebob we’re he caught the ugly

James: Hey Bob, you hear about Chris? Bob: No, what happened? James: He got a heart transplant from a dead gay guy and was turned gay. Bob.exe has stopped working.

"there's _2 gays_ among us" *later* "Jeremy didn't had the gay" "3 gays remaining"

broke: I cough on someone and give them Coronavirus woke: I cough on someone and give them *The Gay*

“Then BAM! You get gay shoulders too”

I love how Rslash is laughing so much while reading

My right shoulder is okay, but my left one is doing a mean shimmy, I'm really worried for its sexuality.

6:59 I doubt he does. People often try to say they have the cash in hand, then when they show up they only have a little, and "you'll just have to take it."

"Get away from me, I'll give you The Gay!" *"EVERYBODY RUUUUUUUUUN!!!!"*

Whenever I hear the " High pitch " voice I'm like "Oh that's the person who doesn't have common sense."

Does “bisexual” mean half your body parts are gay?

When you have to keep calling someone the N word. You're most likely 12

Catch 'The Gay' Catch 'The Emo' Catch 'The Furry' How many more before I complete my set of knees?

I caught the gay, But he didn’t sneeze He cu-

And the doctor told her about needing a knee replacement “with tears in his eyes.” That made me laugh. Yeah knee replacement is so serious that medical professionals break down sobbing when they have to tell the patients and family. Because without the “transplant” the family will have to “move forward without her” because presumably she will be sitting in the chair, by herself. I don’t know why I thought these were the most absurd parts of the post.

Bruh, I'm more scared of blatant scammers than that 5 year old begging for a fortnite skin and "doxing", or as they type it out "docsing" that person

If that fortnite message was actually a kid, it's scary he knew and used so many slurs against someone.

My mother believes homosexuality is a choice. I told her it wasn’t a choice... what happened? “How do you know? You got somethin’ you wanna tell me?!” And people wonder why I hate my mother....

Listening to rSlash right before work is what helps me get through the day That knee transplant one reminds me of that Halloween episode of The Simpsons where Homer gets a hair transplant from Snake and then the hair grows into his brain, takes over his personality and Homer goes around killing everyone who Snake had sworn vengeance on. I can’t believe actual people think something like that is possible

A very nieve sponge yet lovable sponge: "At fifty dollars an hour too! When I first worked for mr krabs, I had to pay him a hundred dollars an hour!"

I love the last one. Whoever sent a choosing beggar to r/choosingbeggars was a genius.

Had a guy in my HS who actually in the middle of class said he demands a new assignment sheet because he's straight and didn't want to get the gay from the pink paper

Ohhhhhh, so THAT'S how I'm bi! Only my joints are into girls, the rest of me likes guys. Makes sense to me!

I have never been this early before but I can't think of anything creative to say about it.

Something is wrong with people, “IMA CATCH DA GAY” 😂 like tf

The dolphin internship is actually pretty standard for wildlife internships. Wildlife careers are so competitive people are expected to have a degree plus years of experience before getting into there career. Which means college grads are often doomed to do extensive volunteer internships with very little accommodations. shouldn't be this way, but it's more common than people think.

Just heard the knee replacment story. The kid shouldn't worry about gay. The problem would be if the doctor used bimetallic strips.... Having a knee that bends every which way depending on the outside temperature would be much more problematic I think ;P.

“Gayness is in the joints” I’m screaming. I knew my knees felt extra homosexual.

I’m soo glad that I accidentally watched one of his videos last year.

“OH NO, I’VE CAUGHT THE GAY!”

"What has this world come to?" I asked myself when I read Karen's post.🤦‍♀️

About the Porsche story: I looked it up and if it has the tiptronic automatic it'll do 174 and it'll do 177 if it has a manual. Also, it's not even a v6 like CB said. It's a flat-6 motor lol

7:34 "When I started working for Mr. Krabs, _I_ had to pay him $100/hr!" -Spongebob

The internship one had me at first... I’ve already attended one and am currently at another internship learning how to work with dolphins, these internships are incredibly competitive and hard to get into and although most of those requirements are pretty standard, and most of them are indeed unpaid I’ve never heard of one actually making you pay to attend... and their pay scheme is ridiculous on top of that 😂

I laughed so hard at the title because I'm wearing a gay pride t-shirt

"And with tears in his eyes, he said she needed surgery." Or whatever it was they said. Nah. It's more like they walk in, go "it's broke. Needs fixing. Talk to the front desk to schedule surgery." Then walk out. Source: the 15+ surgeries I've had in my adult life. Bonus: I did have one surgeon put his hand on my shoulder one time and say "I'm sorry." Before he walked out. Edit: relistened. Knee TRANSPLANT?! Kain?!? Baaahahahaaa!!!

guys im not worried about the corona im more worried about the “gay” im so scared

I caught The Gay. He's in a cage in my basement

"oh no! I don't want to get lesbian elbows!"

Rslash is the Imposter. He's looking kind of sus.

That fortnite one was a real winner. Jesus Christ, kid had some issues. Mommy prolly dropped him on his head when he was little.

Yo Zoologist here, So the internship one you featured is actually a commonly accepted practice. There are literally hundreds of these companies who visit our colleges (typically 17-19 year olds) and universities (18+) advertising these "projects". They have different locations for different duration's at different prices. They typically give an hour long presentation highlighting all the work they do, the good they do and the fact you can do your final year project data gathering while out there with them. Most of these locations normally entail roughing it in tents or villages that they pass through during the trips. Once they've built up enough hype (Because to be fair if you can afford it, it does look an amazing opportunity / experience) they then hit you with the prices. You have to cover flights, insurance and a general fee depending on who you're with / location you're going to. While I was in university it was pretty standard to see these prices between £1500-3000 without flights and insurance. While I said it was experience / opportunity above, it is more of a work position to help their staff out their conducting research. So yes, you are paying them for them to let you work. They also have a section of how you can raise the money over summer holidays easily, which mainly includes asking family / friends to invest in your future and bag packing at supermarkets. From my experience the only people who go on these trips are people with rich backgrounds where the parents can just drop thousands without batting an eye lid. Overall, I find it a pretty scummy practice and I always try to discourage people from signing up.

Wait, why did the doctor have tears in his eyes?

We've finally found it. It's the final stage of capitalism, where you pay the business owners for the privilege of giving them all your labor!

Karen: "What has this world come to " Nobody:

You know it is going to have amazing funny responses when RSlash giggles before hand

As a bisexual, I now fear that a kidney stone I had removed last year could have given my urologist the gay. What do I do if he stops seeing me to become an interior designer??

Who's this u/[deleted] guy? he seems like reddit pro...is there is such a thing?

Guys I'm worry to say you all have to stay away from me, because I have "the bi curious"

CB: "Im GoNnA mUrDr U!!!!111!!" How I would reply: "Assuming you asked your parents for permission, sure."

13:30 Surprised he can even count that high

My ex works for a lab, won't say the name, because it is well known. Anyway, their internships are as follows: You work just for the summer, you work full time, but are paid half the salary of the actual job classification. If you do well in the job, they will help with tuition costs, and you may possibly end up working for them. Now that is an internship.

Never knew gay was contagious

Sad, I caught the gay in 7th grade, and never recovered. :(

"I'm gonna catch 'The Gay' Damn, i must've got the gay when i was 10 huh

The "gay knee transplant" poster is such an obvious troll. I LOL'ed at the whole thing.

a woman and her husband sit at a candlelit table at a fancy restaurant, celebrating their 30th wedding anniversary. the husband reaches across the table to take his beloved's hand, but suddenly, an attractive waitress in a rather low-cut uniform walks by. from the expression on her face, her husband can tell something's wrong. "honey, are you okay?" he asks lovingly. she forces a laugh as her knee jerks involuntarily. "i'm fine." her husband leans in closer and mouths, "is it the..." he trails off. she nods resignedly, knowing that this will ruin her anniversary dinner. ever since her knee transplant, she has been afflicted by dreadful homosexual urges emanating from her new knee. she cannot go anywhere with an attractive woman nearby, as her knee simply goes haywire in the presence of females. this has ruined countless family outings - the county fair, the art museum, and now, her anniversary dinner. later, as her husband drives the both of them home, she stares out the window sadly. even trips to the supermarket were made unnecessarily difficult by her knee's refusal to cooperate, and this had been a rare occasion when she dared to leave the house for more than five minutes. will she ever be rid of this dread malady? only time will tell.

*"The Gay?"*

I’m gay and that was really funny for me and my bf’s to watch- I’m in a poly- Not cheating-

good morning r/slash thank you for making my mornings something to look forward to!!!

As someone with a degree in Marine Biology, I can confirm the internship is not unique. Internships are big in this field and can directly lead to permanent postings and paid jobs that otherwise would not be available. It’s total BS, but definitely very very common sadly

14:35 HAHAHAHA I’m screaming I might be finding this way funnier than it actually is , but I’m seriously cracking up

I love rSlash's '"Karen" voice!

“Gay Lesbian” You mean Bisexual? Lol

I've had the gay since the age of 5, vaccines man

I did an internship working for IMMS studying dolphins and doing photo ID, and all I had to do was get accepted. The work is accurate, especially when being on a boat, but those are some ridiculous fees to be paid...

Love these videos. I never expected so many people to act like that. I had one experience while selling some football memorabilia online. I had a scarf listed at 5 quid with delivery charge 2,90. A guy hits me with an offer I can't resist - "I will give you the 5 quid but can't afford 7,90 in total. Can you maybe do 1,20 postage so it's 6,20 in total?" "Hey, this is the standard delivery charge, I don't offer discount on postage as this is what the post office charges me for sending the scarf". "Yeah, but it's really much, can't you just bring the scarf yourself, I see you are registered like 30 miles away from where I am? That way I won't have to pay the post office!". So this guy was basically asking me to drive a total of 60 miles to deliver him a 5 quid scarf because he doesn't have 2,90 and having tried to lower postage to 1,20 meaning all this was for 1,70? Never replied to him again and he tried the same thing with other of my listings a few weeks later as if he doesn't even remember talking to me. :)

It’s always good to see an RSlash vid in the subbox

Im a bisexual, and that second one made me laugh so damn hard i almost fell over.

🤣 this episode made me laugh the most it was fricking hilarious

@6:50 There's also the "little matter" of getting arrested for breaking the speed limit, endangering other drivers, etc!

that knee transplant scared me, I think I'd stick to my 'kain' instead.

4:41 this person knows nothing about cars. He actually thinks a Porsche 911 has a V6 and he says it won't do 120 lol. My mom's Highlander will do 130.

"To protect yourself from 9 year olds and Karen" INVEST AS MUCH AS I CAN.

Tell me the "gay" one is a joke, she's joking, right?

Gay shoulders, gay knees, swing low sweet chariot🤣😂That post had me on the floor omg

This is the funniest Choosingbeggars in ages, my throat is actually sore from laughing :'D First, "gay in the knee" and then a choosing beggar finding r/Choosingbeggars and thinking "Jackpot - this is like made for me!" :D:D:D