Usually, the top 3 most vile things go as follows: 3. HOAs; 2. Karens; 1. HOAs run by Karens. The difference is exponential, and when dealing with Karens the HOA may come as a powerful ally, like it happened in this story.
I have heard of another one. A streetlight wasn't long enough, and the city wasn't doing anything about it. HOA told the residents to push to walk button to give them a little extra time.
@@saphiriathebluedragonknight375 Oh yeah, I remember that one!!! That was awesome! *XD* _Also for those who might be confused, it was a traffic light that didn't stay green long enough for the entrance to a subdivision. People that lived in the subdivision often had long lines trying to get out._
RSlash, the problem with the old lady probably wasn't that she didn't want the help--it's that you didn't ask first. From the way you tell it, it sounds like you didn't even say hi to her before moving her groceries. I'm disabled, and I really hate it when people try to do things for me without even saying hi or meeting my eye first. It makes me feel like a nuisance, like I'm only receiving help bc I'm an inconvenience. It feels like I'm being treated like a child. It does sound like the lady was probably kinda mean anyway, but next time RSlash please please please ask first, and then respect their answer even (especially!) if it's no.
People, including rSlash, forget that consent in all aspects of life matters. It costs you nothing to ask before helping someone. Not everyone wants or needs help. This goes beyond helping someone with a disability or the elderly. I'm equally frustrated with rSlash that he expects people to smile. There are many reasons why people are not the smiling kind. It doesn't mean they are not kind or decent people. Overall I feel like he has a very narrow slice of reality and doesn't see beyond it.
Yessss I just commented the same the whole story was unbelievably ableist from start to finish and the expectations people have for being kind like how is that kindness
Yes. This. People even start to push others who are in the wheelchair without asking first! Even is you aren't disabled - who ever the person is you want to help: Ask first! Stranger or family member. Adult or child. Doesn't matter. It's most basic manners to as person do they need/want help.
Yeah, he needs to be able to put himself in other people's shoes a bit more. Having someone just grab your stuff and start moving it without saying anything to you would be uncomfortable for anyone, especially if you're disabled and have people doing it often.
@@daniellepullman4074 I agree that he definitely should have asked before carrying them, it’s disrespectful to not, but it’s harsh on your part to say he has a narrow slice of reality, it could have just been a brain fart in the sense he was unaware/didn’t remember to ask and was just acting out the good of his heart. Anyways, he should have asked, he shouldn’t have expected a smile and probably should have apologized if he thought of what he did wrong, but kind of harsh.
FYI, if I was that person struggling with my groceries, I might have reacted with suspicion at first when you first started just moving my stuff without asking me first. The urge to help is wonderful, but how did she really know that you weren't stealing her groceries? Just a word or two, offering help, is much, much better. I've had similar reactions when people try to help me without asking first -- especially when taking my bike up and down to train platforms, when someone grabs part of the bike without saying anything I don't know if they're helping or stealing. Every time someone offered help, I accepted or declined graciously. Not an issue any more, I have a car, but I lived with that for 15 years and had similar reactions at the end of that time as at the beginning.
this is a two year old post, but i just am watching it but was thinking the same thing...a kind hi can i help you with those makes a big difference with older people especially if they dont know you, no just snatching them up like they are a bother and moving them to their door. then i thought did he take them to the correct door lol.
Neighbor: "You're doing something I don't like on your property." Owner: "Okay, I can it's my property." Neighbor: "I don't care, stop it." Owner: "What are you gonna do if I don't?" Neighbor: Sputters because they realize they can't do shit. Do these people think they own the world to where they can tell other people what to do on property they don't own? Then entitlement is real yo.
To be honest I would be on defense if someone just grab my stuff without asking. Are they going to steal something? Or are they going to try to extort money for me? It is something older folks have to look out for.
Idk if you asked her to help but some disabled people or peeps with daily challenges will get mad If you just walk up say nothing it help bc to them your looking down on them or pittying them so she could had the thought you felt sorry for her and it made her angry some people don't want help so you should ask.
Hey rSlash, on the neighbor you helped, she might have been upset that you assumed she needs help rather than asking. I’m disabled myself and it’s actually really annoying when people start helping me with stuff rather than asking first. It shows that they think we can’t take care of ourselves. That woman was capable of bringing in her own groceries. She was a lot slower than most people, but she could do it yourself. Then you swooped in without asking if she wanted help. I get why you feel like you were doing a good thing, but when people constantly do things for you because they think you can’t do it yourself, it’s really frustrating. Most of us want to be independent and actions like yours undermine that. If you want help a disabled person, ask if they want the help before you do anything.
Speak for yourself. I'm not technically disabled but am in my late 50s. I have physical issues courtesy of working in healthcare for 36 years and if someone offers help, I will be very grateful, whether they ask or not.
There is an even easier explanation . Altruism - Helping others. Egoism - Only helping yourself. Altruists will always help each other, and secure each others survival. Egoists will only help themselves, and secure their own genetical line to survive. It's literally impossible for egoism to go extinct with altruism existing. But it's possible for altruism to go extinct, because egoism is leeching it dry. Being nice to everyone, means supporting the beings that want to rape and murder you.
I can see why you helped your old neighbor, but as a disabled person, I can tell you that it's more polite to ask if they want assistance. Some people really want their independence, and unsolicited help can feel infantilizing. In the future, I would ask before helping disabled people (unless it's an emergency).
Understandable but still, someone who actually tries to help you have good intentions. They do not deserve any rudeness. That lady should have spoken out if the man's actions have bothered her.
@@cosmicreef5858 That's not the point and nowhere did anyone say they deserve rudeness. Stop looking for an excuse to disregard what everyone is saying.
That old lady neighbour of yours was probably in chronic pain. Pain for extended periods of time changes a person, and it becomes difficult for them to act in a positive manner, they come across as eternally grumpy. It's just a theory, but it's probable.
Yeah, I was wondering if he even asked her before helping. I'd be kind of freaked if someone just grabbed my groceries without telling me what was going on.
@@ShelbyZealand this... customer service in some industries, especially food service and essential retail sales, is about determining the best amenable level of aftercare for the sale. "Here are your pizzas sir, it's a big order would you like help carrying it out to your car? (or if you came to the delivery drivers car ~up to your front door?~)" NO I DONT NEED ANY HELP then in store service, you offer to get the front door for them. Since the door belongs to the store, they're less likely to refuse. Win win
On top of that it is considered rude to help people with disabilities (people in wheelchairs, blind people etc) with basic stuff like that if they don't ask. They're people and they don't want to feel like they aren't independent/can't do things themselves.
@Zero 'O Clock Most disabled people are fine in regards to things like help carrying groceries provided you arent being condescending. Helping because you like to help people is fine, it's helping because you think I'm incapable and need saving that's terrible. Or invading personal space like touching someone's wheelchair. You really shouldn't speak for disabled people when you aren't disabled yourself, that's another example of "saving" we really don't need. I would rather have someone grab my groceries for me when I'm having a difficult moment then some grand standing jerk telling that person that they are wrong for helping an autistic girl who didn't explicitly ask for and that I must be upset by the action...
@@RiveroftheWither speaking as a disabled person, even if you think someone will be fine with you helping them, always ask first. Helping without asking shows that you assume we’re incapable of taking care of ourselves. Most of us want to be independent and people doing stuff for us without asking undermines that. We know how to ask for help when we need it and how to accept help when we want it. It’s not hard to ask if you can help someone before helping someone and doing so shows a form of respect that we don’t get very often. Even if you’re doing it because you just like helping people, we don’t know that. Edit to add: We don’t know when people do this for everyone and it’s not because we’re disabled.
I call it "P-mail" Dogs essentially leaving a message for other dogs with their scent. Apparently, a dog can find out a lot about another dog just by smelling them! It's gross but fascinating.
Male dogs tend to pee on spots where other dogs pee to mark it as their territory. Other dogs do it so they can find back their way home by back tracing their pee to their owner's house.
The older woman who had trouble with stairs might have been too prideful to ask for help and been offended that you did so without talking to her first. Some disabled people are like that. I know I personally don’t appreciate when people assume I can’t do one thing or another because of my disability, and in those cases I too am more likely to be upset with the person than thankful if they go out of their way to do said thing.
Yeah, it sucks because if the two talked about it, I bet that whole shopping cart thing never would have needed to happen. Especially considering this was a thing about weight rather than an injury.
Hey, r/Slash, a simple decency everyone should learn - always ask before actually helping someone. Some people don't like being helped. Will you helping make things easier for them? Probably. Still, some people don't like it, and it's completely in their right to not accept help. Helping someone you think need help without even asking them sometimes just makes them feel like you don't respect them - that you see them as inferior to you and don't even need to ask before doing something on their behalf. Of course that wasn't what you were thinking, but that's what that kind of action means to some people. There's nothing wrong with offering or accepting help from others, but it's wrong to decide you'll help without letting the other party choose if they want to accept your help or not. In fact, this is something volunteer workers are trained to do - to not help a disabled person if they say NO. They may be disabled, but they're not a child and definitely not YOUR child, they can decide anything just like any other person for themselves.
That was exactly what I was thinking too! If someone looks like they are struggling or are disabled. Never EVER just assume that they want your help and just do it without asking first. It's really rude and overall just letting them know that you see them as weak and someone who cant do something by themselves. I actually felt bad for that woman because of that reason. Here she was, just minding her business, doing something at her own pace. And then this man just walks up from nowhere, without even checking with her first or even aknowledging her as a person and just grabs her bags for her. I'm really sorry r/slash, you're normally really considerate and thoughtful but that was not a smart thing to do. Please try to understand that. She must have felt really humiliated and I bet that if he had walked up to her and asked nicely then she might have actually been grateful for the help..
I've also learned in some situations you help because people need it and it's the right thing to do, not to get thanks. If they're actually hostile, I think that would prob perturb me, but just not being grateful is pretty typical and I'll help anyway
Thank you!!! I was about to post something similar. Always ask before helping someone. Not asking can look like you think they are incapable of basic tasks and need to be cared for like a baby. It can be hurtful. Always ask!
I'm disabled, use a wheelchair. If I fall, don't help me be unless I ask. And then help me as I direct. Some of my joints can be injured if you do it wrong. And yes, ask if somebody wants help. The polite thing to do would be to ask the lady if you can take her bags up the stairs for her. Otherwise, she may think you are stealing her groceries.
Exactly! My head nearly exploded when he said "If I were disabled I would--" um no. If he were differently abled he would still want autonomy and for people to not assume anything. It's only helpful if the recipient finds it helpful. Super insulting what he did, if he did it without asking.
@@mwise1016 hey, just wanted to let you know that a lot of disabled people actually prefer the term disabled over differently abled. No hate, just education! - disabled person
@@ashlee6660 thanks for speaking up! I've worked with a lot of people that hate the term disabled and prefer other terms. This further emphasizes the point that people are individuals who need to be listened to in order to know how to help or be respectful.
@@mwise1016 yes! While my experiences and my friends who feel the same are valid that doesn’t mean that it’s the only way to address people. It just comes down to preference. And the majority of my friends is disabled but you know sometimes people do you prefer differently abled
@JayLeeBeanz I wasn’t being offended. I was only explaining how I as a disabled (born disabled) person feels about the term. I understand that others feel differently about the term and I stated that I understood that and that it was fine for other people to have preference on how they are termed. Did you perceive my comment differently?
As a person w/a disability I have to respond to his story about the old lady in his old apartment building. U acknowledge that she might have been nonverbal but u failed to acknowledge that she may have other disabilities or disorders where looking someone in the eyes is a difficulty. Also did u even ask if she needed help first? And on the cart thing, did u consider that she was just trying to be independent or that she was riddled with anxiety of someone else wanting to help? Or that she wasn't sure if u were just helping or planning on robbing her as soon as she opened her door. When I lived in my building. It was me a 20 he old at the time and elderly ppl. There was a deal w/the stores in town & management that we could bring the carts home & when there were so many someone would bring them back. Did u consider that and the building manager had something like that worked out? Did anyone consider that the cart that u thought made the building look "trashy" helped her be a bit more independent? I realize this was probably a long while ago but these r the things I love as person with a disability and just wanted to turn it into a teaching moment. Please don't take offense just use this as a thing to think about in future situations. I enjoy ur personal stories.💜
I’m not sure how a shopping cart is trashy it’s a shopping cart. I was disappointed that he seemed happy she got bullied all because she didn’t smile at him. I really thought the whole story was void of any compassion whatsoever yet he is still proud he “helped”. I hope he reads these comments and learns something.
I mean it is a good gesture to help someone who is struggling on the stairs, but you need to ask. Give the person some autonomy. When you are disabled people always assume you want help, and will not bother asking before touching your things or you to help. I definitely wouldn't get upset if someone helped me with my groceries, but I would be bothered if they didn't ask. Again, I would still thank them, but you really need to ask
That's what I hate most about Karens, they treat you like shit but can't handle being treated the same. I knew someone who is the exact definition of a Karen.
Rslash- You just never know what someone else is going through. Help people because you want to, with no expectations of thanks. If they’re actively mean to you, or tell you to stop, that’s one thing. Maybe if you’d kept helping the handicapped lady, you would have eventually broken through whatever walls she had built up. Sometimes people are mistrustful of kindness because they’ve been treated unkindly by others or only shown kindness when someone had an ulterior motive.
Uhm I disagree. I think you should expect some kind of positive (or at least neutral) response when you get out of your way to help someone. That's communication. If someone looks at me angrily while I try to help, I stop. Imo the person just communicated that my help isn't wanted and I don't want to force myself and my help on anyone.
@@dr_picy9318 ah yes let's just ask this choking person if they need some help, or even this mute person, oh wait, they literally can't ask for help because one is dying and the other literally can't speak the same kind of goes for deaf people, they won't be able to hear you asking them if they need some help
Can confirm. Once saw my dog make an effort to pee somewhere and she was only able to squeeze out a single drop of urine since she'd peed before. Had to give her a 10/10 for determination.
"Dogs peeing in spots where other dogs peed is like a dog version of liking someone's Instagram post." I'll take "Sentences I didn't Think I'd Ever Hear" for $500 Regarding your former neighbor: situations like that are why I ask someone if they need my help before actually helping. I avoid wasting my time doing so. Also, if I were to venture a guess, I think the neighbor was scowling at you because she thought you were rubbing your ability to run up and down the stairs with little problem in her face. Granted, I'm not that woman, but I *am* a fat chick (I'm working on it), and sometimes seeing people do certain things easily while I struggle to do the same things is like a reminder of how out of shape I am. Again, it's just a guess. Your neighbor still ain't sh*t, though. Who steals a shopping cart _mulitple times_ !?
Forget that lady. I see people walking and running daily and I don’t give people attitude for trying to help me. I’m in a wheelchair and I’d appreciate the help. It just sounds like she had an attitude problem. Sounds like she wanted you to say something just so she could snap at you over something.
As I commented earlier, long term pain can.. make you depressed and leave you grumpy. Until I got my inflammation under control, I felt really bad about my affected mobility, and it was hard to be cheerful. She may have other issues going on. Not trying to state it as an excuse, just... think it shouldn't be taken so personally.
I can tell that a group of dogs can kill a tree without any problems. My parents had a tree and some dogs, it started with the senior dog marking the tree. Then their other dogs did the same and this happens 2 times every day. But this is not the end of the tree, 5-7 dogs is intense but not the end of the world. The end of the tree came when the rest of the dogs in the village joined in. and first they killed the grass in a circle around the tree and you started to notice how the tree slowly died, so the dogs killed a huge tree by peeing on it.
It's polite to offer to help before just jumping in and doing it. If you just hop in without a word and start hauling someone's groceries, it can come off as a wordless "You're clearly incapable of this, so I'll do it for you." It's about letting the other person keep their agency by giving them the opportunity to refuse.
Rslash, ask people if they want help before you help them! Don’t just grab her stuff without permission! That’s rude! It doesn’t matter if you had good intentions, the point is that you didn’t know that lady’s situation! What if she’s afraid of your germs? What if she’s uncomfortable with strangers touching her stuff? What if she read you help as demeaning and embarrassing? This is why you ask first!
Old people are at really high risk of being robbed by people who initially act helpful in order to gain entrance into their locked car or home. They know the old person can't fight back, their only defence is the locked door, so they find a way to make you open it. It happens a lot with people who go door to door too, they pretend to be salesmen or workmen and then push past once the door is open.
And then rambling on about it as if she owed him a bj. Some people are proud, and even if they need help, they would rather do it themselves. Sometimes people have experiences with someone doing them a favour, then referring to that later as a put down. Maybe she used to be a gymnast, and her declining health is breaking her heart! There could be any number of reasons, but blasting them on a RU-vid video? rSlash is trash.
I really feel bad for the old lady, of course she seems rude but it is concerning that she has to steal a shopping cart to be able carry her grocery home.
10:30 @rSlash it might have been a pride thing. Some people can be so stubborn that they see needing help as a form of weakness, particularly with little things like this. Plus from how you said it you didn't give her the choice. You just unilaterally decided to take her groceries to the door for her. Sure it was with the best of intentions, but it comes off as rude to her that you just got involved. Not saying you were wrong to help her that one time, just that the way you went about it from how you described it was wrong.
It’s not always pride sometimes a person doesn’t need help because they have a way of doing it. I agree the whole story came off all around wrong and on top he basically relished in the fact that she was bullied all because she didn’t crack a smile when he expected her to. I get that taking shopping carts is illegal but actively messing with her is wrong and comes off as a bit of a Karen move. It didn’t sound like she was hurting any one, and I am confident the people in the story are not perfect and didn’t abide by every single law ever created through their whole lives. All because she didn’t smile she deserves to be mistreated by others SMH 🤦🏻♀️ she could have been busy biting her tongue to not ask him why TF he was touching her stuff, maybe she was in fact being polite and trying not to get angry over that invasion.
I actually have a story about helping others. Next to my parents lives a lovely older lady. My parents help her with her garden part behind the house, good neighbour and all. Sometimes when I visit my parents and there is something on the stairs that clearly needs to be transported upstairs, I just grab it and carry it up and put it in front of her door. Once she scolded me for doing that. But not, because I simply did it, but because she wanted it to do herself. She told me that as long as she can carry the stuff, albeit very slowly, she wants to do that herself. If I had asked, she would probably have accepted my help though. To sum it up, basically ask if you can help with carrying the stuff before just doing it instead of jumping into action.
I'm physically disabled and I don't like it when people “help me” without so much as talking to me. It makes me feel like I don't have any autonomy and like I'm viewed as a thing more than a person. I'm very independent and I prefer doing my own thing, even if it takes longer or if it’s an unconventional solution.
I was going to say the same thing. He could have ASKED if she wanted help first instead of just doing it without even a word. It can be quite embarassing and maybe she saw it as him 'flaunting' his ability to be able to bounce up and down those steps and it made her upset, maybe not with him but with her situation?
@@RedK5 stealing isn't ok but sometimes it's the only option. If she has limited movement then their really isn't any other way of communicating. I'm not say that this is the case but you shouldn't judge especially when you only have one side of the story, and multiple disabled people in this comment section called his behavior unacceptable.
My dad's health started to decline a few years ago and the friendly staff allowed him the use of a shopping trolley which he kept in his back garden. About a year later his partner made up some nonsense about him committing acts of domestic abuse against her (it was the other way around) and she had him kicked out of his own house by the police and kept out by a restraining order. We reached an agreement where I could come to collect his mail and I took some of my dad's belongings from his garden shed, as she wouldn't let me into the house. She'd leave the mail under a table in the garden for me to collect. On my second visit I noticed the shopping trolley was still there, so I returned it as the agreement was with my dad. The store staff wouldn't let her take another and she had to carry her own shopping by hand to the house as she would refuse to pay for a two-wheeled trolley of her own, instead choosing to buy wine and cigarettes.
That bag story is cringe, honestly. I've had men try to grab my belongings on public transport because they *assume I need help. She may be trying to keep her sense of independance and you steamed in. Maybe she couldn't talk and was actually trying to convey how she felt about it with her expression.
In which case she got her point across, and so rSlash stopped helping. So she got what she wanted in the end. I do get what you're saying though. Always ask if someone needs help, never just jump in and start grabbing people's stuff. It's rude and invasive.
My parents live next to a 90+ year old lady. They have helped her massively over the years. Despite this she constantly complains about trivial shit like my parents having decorative lights or wind chimes. Old people have nothing better to do than complain. Living to that age isn't always a good thing if you can barely leave your home. Advanced medicine is a blessing and a curse.
I have to do the 1 stair at a time because of a spine injury. It really, really sucks to go so slow. I also made sure to start losing some of my 160 lbs. I was afraid that I would just make it so worse. I also live in a condo that has guards. These young men & women are so nice. They help me with my groceries & even come up to change my water bottles. We aren't allowed to tip them so I bake cookies for them. They love my cookies
I legitimately cannot fathom the concept of a HOA or neighbours thinking they can have an input on my land or property. Hearing stories like this - it's like I'm reading some alien literature.
I agree that it was weird that he didn't ask, but this is completely negated by the fact that the next time she was carrying groceries, she stopped and fully expected him to do it again.
@@_g8dfathr_678 sounded more like she was on guard, watching the movements of someone who already touched her stuff without permission, asking or even a warning.
@@Qsalis yeah it's especially a problem for old people, there are a lot of people who will pretend to be helpful and then push past them to get into their house or car and steal knowing the elderly person can't fight back. It's extremely common, it's no wonder it freaked her out, and it's also just rude and condescending. You know he'd do the same if a strange man twice his size came up and started messing with his stuff.
8:11 my guess isn't that's she's insecure about her weight and ability to move, and she was upset at you, because I think she didn't want to look weak or vulnerable, maybe? My dad is almost 50 with arthritis, and is more stubborn then an atlas stone, he hates it when people help him with stuff, he'll occasionally ask for me to do something, but when he desides to do it, wants to do it himself
R/slash. I am not old. I am 28. I hurt my back years ago. While I got some physical therapy for my back. I feel occasional pain from doing exercises that impact my back. I switch them out when I realize they hurt me. While I am in a lot of pain I look pissed. I'm not mad at anyone but it's my pain face. Maybe your neighbor was just in a lot of pain 🤔
Does your look of pain face stop you from being pleasant and thanking people though? My mum is in constant pain from damaged nerves in her lower back. It doesn't stop her smiling at people or even if she is in particularly great pain, thanking them : /
@@catkin567 but rslash honestly deserved that scowl because he didn't ask her if she needed help. He just randomly grabbed her shit, and that's honestly rude because he shouldn't have assumed that she wanted help. All he could've done was ask her and this story would've been completely different. Also, chronic pain can vary a lot and she was most likely too busy dealing with that than to thank a random stranger who touched her stuff without asking her.
@@bella-chan1013 I do know chronic pain can vary a lot though and my mum has it pretty bad, she is either in constant pain, or so drugged up with painkillers, she's in bed and talking in her sleep. It is possible to say, 'please don't do that' if someone helps without asking, or put your hand up to stop someone if you can't or don't want to talk. I've done that before when I have had unsolicted help I didn't want. But it never occured to me someone trying to help was rude :/
@@catkin567 well, it's very likelyshe had been abused, ridiculed and bulied for her weight. that doesn't generate a trusting outlook. she was at a physical disadvantage, she doesn't know this random guy, who is to say he's not gonna throw her grocery bags or kick them if she said anything in protest?
@@Qsalis What?!! That's reaching! Let's all make up hypothetical scenarios for a woman we don't know. If we are going to assume she was bullied and also afraid someone would throw her bags around if she politely said, "It's kind of you but I'd like to do it please", why stop there? Let's all assume her pet parrot had died the week before and she just gone out and realised she had automatically bought a ton of birdseed thinking she had run out and her bags were full of it and she was cross with herself about that but got too far back towards home and was too tired to turn round and go back to the shop , and then as she walked home, someone had freshly reapainted the road markings and she had stepped in it and got paint on her favourite shoes and then thought to herself "oh god, and I got the carpet cleaners in only yesterday, I can't take my shoes off outside the flat, people might see my hairy toes and assume I'm a man in a dress so I am going to have to walk on my nice clean carpets" I mean we might as well !
That lady was probably looking at you like that because she was embarrassed... she might not even have really known what expression she was giving. Accepting help can be really hard.
You brought up that she might not have been able to speak. I'd be pretty terrified if my turtle walking, no voice having ass perceived an angry man furiously bringing my groceries up to my apartment for me. If she had so much trouble walking, she probably stole the cart (assuming she walked home with it) because she needed the support. But then again, I think you said she had a car, so IDK. Some people are just not okay.
Yeah, if I was in her shoes, and saw someone do this to me, I would feel like I made the person impatient and irritated for being slow, so they have to help me bring up my belongings just to hurry me up. Maybe the lady felt the exact same way, or maybe not. But regardless, it's honestly rude that he did that. He could've at least asked first.
RSlash you need to ASK people first before you just do shit like that. It's insulting to just have someone come up behind you and do shit like that without permission. Maybe she was slow in getting up the steps but maybe that's one of the few things she could actually do without assistance from someone else despite the time it took, and you took that away from her.
I'll never understand air passengers who get mad about being told to exit a plane that is broken. Would you rather find out it's broken when you are 30 thousand feet above the ground? I'll take hours of delays over death, ty.
I work at McDonald's and weirdly enough some of the worst Karen's I've encountered have been old people, specifically old men but old women will occasionally throw their hat in the ring. I have a reddit account bursting at the seams with how bad they've treated me and other employees. I usually have a soft spot for old people because of my Nana who had numerous health and mobility issues before she passed but these old men will treat you like less than a person or even less than an animal. He'll I've seen the worst Karen's treat people better than some of these old people.
Work in an old folks home and you will come to hate old people Source: worked in an old folks home for 8ish months. Went in with a soft spot for old people, left with a strong dislike for old people
It has to be really rough working somewhere like that to begin with. I imagine most of those old people are about as miserable and resentful as you can get and that's because they probably got forced there and you're the easiest target to take it out on.
The first story reminded me of a funny moment with one of my former dogs. I was house-sitting for my mom years ago and we had a huge rottie at the time. While my mom wasn't there, I would pee in the backyard and the dogs weren't usually with me. One night, the rottie (Homer) was wandering outside as I peed on a patch of grass. When I finished, he walks over to the spot, looks at me like "really, dude?" and without breaking eye-contsct, lifts up his leg and pees on the spot I peed at. He then walks over to me and nudges my leg hard, demanding I pet him.
I love how he just seems slightly irritated that you did that! lol Like "Dude , you really going to make me cover that!" lol Rottweilers are so funny sometimes!
@Twisted - he was a giant teddy bear that was the size of a small pony. He also loved to pin down people on the couch by laying on their lap. He once did that to my brother's girlfriend while the three of us were watching a movie and everything was fine and dandy until she screams out "EW! HOMER!" He farted on her and she couldn't get up and it stank. Lol
Your story at 6:35 reminds me of one I heard, I can't even remember where now. But someone was saying they helped a person, received no acknowledgement whatsoever, and then just decided not to help anymore. Then a few weeks went by and they thought to themselves, "why did I help? Was it because I wanted praise or was it because I wanted to help?" And then proceeded to continue helping this person whenever they could. As long as they weren't, like, verbally abused or put under duress in any way, they didn't stop helping. Months or a year go by and the person I guess slowly softened and eventually invited them in for dinner or something and they were friends ever since. The patience of some people will always make me feel inadequate as a human being.
It does sound like Rslash didn't ASK if the woman wanted help, but just did that. Which I guess would annoy me too if I had some pride issues about me doing my stuff alone even when disabled.
This is exactly what I was thinking, especially if I was an elderly person who didn't have a lot of autonomy, if somebody took any amount of that autonomy away from me without even asking I think I would be upset too. Plus if this woman is using a shopping cart because it's so difficult for her to walk and just get groceries- everyday things that she needs to live, then how inconsiderate is it to take the shopping cart back to the store just because it makes your building look a little less nice?
You know, she could shop every day, be more active, only have one or two bags to carry, maybe eat less, possibly lose a few pounds and not have to stoop to stealing. Just a thought.
@@bcaye if you actually read the story he was talking about, the lady he was referring to was an old lady and you know damn well lots of elderly people do not have the energy or the actually muscle to do such things. And it could be possible that she has a disability. For lots of those that have a disability, it's considered rude to just run up and help them without even asking. From the way he's telling the story, it seems as though he didn't even ask her at all if she needed help. Honestly, if someone grabbed my shit without asking me, I would freak tf out because it looks to me like I'm about to get robbed. Edit: just reread your comment and you sound like an absolute POS. What kind of person would tell someone, let alone an old person, to stop eating and stop buying food just because someone doesn't want other people to help them?
She may or may not be antisocial, that cart may or may not be actually stolen (or, let's act as the devil's advocate, here: maybe she has an agreement with the store / bought it / rented it / whatever). Isolating just the interaction of the helping with the groceries alone... Yeah. Able bodied or disabled, doesn't matter: you don't just grab someone's grocieries.... Or, hell, any kind of property like that. It's her stuff, it's her business. You clearly don't know her to a point where it's understood she wants and appreciates your help... Ask first. Possibly, even, say hello while you're at it.
@@bcaye "just a thought" lol OK Mrs fifth column! J/k. You make a good argument. I think it borders on unreasonable for the reasons jimim gave, however you know what would help with that kind of atrophy? Increased physical activity in your daily routine. It's not fun. But it does help in most cases
rSlash you made that woman feel useless i can list reasons why she frowned at you 1.she went through the time, effort and money to buy groceries and bring them downstairs and you pick them up how was she supposed to know you weren't gonna steal them 2 you assumed she needed help. just because someone is physically disabled doesn't mean they need help from random people 3 you didn't ask if she needed help. you just assumed because she was walking slowly that she couldn't do anything 4 having random people help you when you can handle it is embarrassing and annoying she didn't need your help and by putting yourself in a situation that you weren't needed in pissed her off and you made her feel useless by assuming she was too weak to bring her groceries up the stairs not to mention there was no reason to talk about how she was slower then you. SHE IS DISABLED AND YOU ARENT of course your gonna be faster then her maybe you should think next time and ask she scowled at you cause she wanted you to leave
Did you ask to touch her things? Did you ask if she needed help? Did you interact with her in anyway? Did you assume she needed help cuz she walked slower than you? She could have had arthritis, in which case, as painful as it is her taking those trips helps her mobility. People also dont want to be seen as a burden to others, they want to over come their weekness, they want to be seen as human not disabled. If she walked "normally" would you have helped? No didnt think so, thats the problem. She could have had vertigo or OCD or was on the autistic spectrum and thats just how she does stuff. You may feel greatful but not everyone wants to be treated like and invalid. Ask people who seem disabled if you can help dont just assume .... Theres a great Dhar Mann video about this just for you
My stepfather owned a body shop in my hometown and he never had any problems with any of his neighbors at the shop for 40 years until someone randomly complained to the town and accused him of junkyard conditions. It's an auto shop! Obviously there's going to be tons of cars and trucks parked all around the property. I don't understand why someone would complain because they decided to move into a house next to an existing auto shop that's been there for literal decades..... the town came and declared that the property WAS NOT junkyard conditions, and the new neighbor tried a couple more times (no one has any clue why) to file junkyard conditions on him before giving up.
In the first story OP says that the lawn grows bright green where the dogs pee. Personally, I would like to know what kind of fertilizer OP is feeding his dogs, because urine, both human and canine, is acidic and will not cause grass to turn a brighter shade of green. If you have a spot where multiple dogs pee, that spot will turn brown and the grass will die. I had a yard in a subdivision with an HOA. There was a decorative rock at the corner of my yard right next to the sidewalk and it felt like every dog that walked by peed on that rock, which killed the grass AND discolored the rock. I cut the grass back for about ten inches from the rock and put in decorative gravel. That solved the dead grass problem, and eventually I just got used to the new color of the rock.
RSlash, lots of disabled people would be freaked out and see it as rude if you just help them without even talking to them at first. I think the lady's response to this was justified because you literally picked up her shit without asking her and it could be seen as you stealing her things. It seems as though you never asked her if she needed help, so maybe next time if you see someone having trouble that could possibly have a disability, ASK FIRST. Because it is quite rude to do this without even suggesting helping them.
I agree that it was weird that he didn't ask, but this is completely negated by the fact that the next time she was carrying groceries, she stopped and fully expected him to do it again.
@@bella-chan1013 It's clear from the story that he interpreted her body language as waiting for him to help her. Along with the continual theft of the shopping cart, it's clear that she's a narcissist. She just happens to be a narcissist who is disabled. Now, I'm still not excusing him not asking permission to help her first, because that was really weird, but everything she did after that is just her being spiteful and entitled.
Honestly, You probably really embarrassed her. Going up to someone and helping without asking can feel like you're trying to insult them somehow Don't get me wrong, she sounds awful, but I'd be insulted and weirded out if some random man came over and starting grabbing my groceries without asking or saying a word to me.
Plus if you just start grabbing their stuff without a word, for all they know you could be trying to rob them... People be crazy in this world, so you can't just assume this guy picking up your stuff is actually helping.
@@ravelterthetraveler it's an extremely common way old people get robbed and brutalised, exactly. The locked door is the only barrier, they're not strong enough to defend themselves, so they act nice and helpful until they gain entrance.
Sometimes, especially with older people the sense of accomplishment from completing little tasks is worth the considerable time and effort. Regardless, she is an ass but she may have genuinely not appreciated people interfering with her shopping ritual. Whether it be to help like you did or to hinder like the people returning the shopping cart did.
@@ginabell694 I honestly wish he'd get off his butt and make videos addressing a bunch of issues his audience has had with him over the years. I think the viewers would respect him more. It would definitely humanize him, because he's gotten worse of certain things people have talked at length about.
@@daniellepullman4074 loll let the guy read his reddit posts. He doesn't owe you a video like that. He's a human like everyone else, maybe he doesn't want to sit there and read through every negative comment on his channel. I think he does a great job all around
The airplane story happened to me once. The guy in front of me was screaming about making his connection. (Airport had been closed due to a TORNADO). They gave my wife and I a private cabin for a cross country flight. This made him so angry the he said something I didn’t catch. The attendant just turned faced him and said, “Sir, that makes me uncomfortable.” At that two TSA agents just appeared out of thin air and took him away. I guess he didn’t make his connection.
Re: the last story. This folks is why I am ALWAYS nice to hotel front counter staff and airline staff, no matter how long or difficult the journey has been. These are the people who can make or break your trip. The number of times politeness and good manners have gotten a bonus extra during my journeys is fantastically crazy.
Hey RSlash about that story you shared about that mean neighbor you used to have and how she hated getting help, playing Devils advocate here while I don't agree with what she did she may have felt like it was insulting that you were able to do the things she was trying to do so easily while she struggled. Not saying it was right but that very well could be a part of the story.
My mother is blind in one eye She is, and always has been fiercely independent I have helped her with every day living ever since her accident On her really bad (emotional) days, I get the riot act for helping “I’m not an invalid.” “Quit trying to help me.” “I’ve got it, just leave me alone.” I can’t imagine what she feels like How it must feel to lose sight To want to do everything, but not be able to…. Maybe your neighbor feels the same That your helping her was out of pity, and not kindness….. Another thing mamma says is, “Did I ask you for help?” Well, did your neighbor? Not trying to bash, just trying to shed some light on the emotions that go with impairment
Did you ask if she wanted help? I would be pissed if some random person just grabbed my stuff to move it without asking. It's rude as heck. If you want to help a disabled person ASK if they need it before you even try to help. Ask and wait for a response. It can make people feel awful about themselves to just have people assume they aren't able to do things.
@JayLeeBeanz Right! Eight bags of groceries are expensive! And could easily be a month's (or more) worth of food. That would be so freaking hard to replace!
@@DeeesLife, Some people have the good sense to remove someone from the plane altogether. This can be to one's detriment if the people who do this are the vindictive type and go so far as to not give them a new flight until a much longer waiting period.
10:00 I don't think that was her being a jerk. I think she didn't want people pitying her. Many people with physical or mental disabilities of any kind have very low self confidence due to their condition and interpret any attempt to help them as people pitying them or looking down to them, all the while feeling horrible that they have this problem in the first place.
Those neighbors who were complaining about hedges and the truck blocking their view reminds me of my friend. She lives in a lovely old cottage with views of the sea and lots of very old trees at the rear of the garden. It's really beautiful. Two new people moved into a bungalow behind her. Tess is very friendly so she said hello to them. They promptly asked her to cut down her trees as "she's afraid of trees". Umm... Did you not notice the massive trees when you looked at the property? Tess obviously said no. The woman claimed that they were dangerous and could fall over onto her house which, A even if they did they would miss her house. B. Tess got a tree surgeon to take a look at them and wrote a letter saying that they were perfectly fine. The woman threatened to take Tess to court and sue her, Tess got legal advice and was told that the woman didn't have a legal leg to stand on as it was her property, her trees and they did not pose a threat to anyone. The woman wanted the trees gone so that she could get a better view of the sea which would add value to the property when she probably sells it. She's given up now but is universally hated in the small village and a lot of small construction businesses won't contract with her because she's such a pain in the arse. I should also mention that Tess lives with her ninety two old dad who has dementia and severe paranoia. Tess was obviously stressed and he started sleeping on the sofa because he thought something bad was going to happen. (sorry this turned out crazy long!)
The story about your neighbor really put me off. You never asked her is she wanted help, you just took it upon yourself to assume she wanted or even needed help... had you even spoken to her at any point before doing that? While I have never had a physical disability, I have had severe depression, which for those that have gone through it, know that it can make your day-to-day life extremely hard... there were days where I could barley get myself out of bed. I have had people try to "help me" during these times and while I know their heart is in a good place, it doesn't stop the feeling that they think you are incapable of doing it yourself or that you are in some way lesser that them because they can do it and you can't. Not to mention this kind of "helping" brings attention to their struggle (mental or physical) and makes it clear to them that you can tell they disabled in some way, which if this is something they are insecure about already, it can be incredibly heart wrenching and frustrating for them. While she may have very well just been a nasty lady, and while your intentions may have been good, that doesn't change the fact that you should have asked if she even wanted help in the first place.
This is a convoluted path of denial. If you can't do something then you obviously *do* need help. I say, if it made this lady feel like she is morbidly obese, that's because she *is*. Don't get angry at someone trying to help, help yourself. Lose some weight, shop every day so you only have one or two bags instead of 8, stop blaming *your* issues on kind helpful people.
@@bcaye I didn't say that I COULDN'T do it, I said that it was HARD for me to do it. Whether she is or isn't overweight does NOT mean that it's okay to make someone feel like that- that's like going to a bully and saying "yea, well what they said is true, so who cares if it's hurtful or damaging at all?" which is such a toxic way of thinking. SHE never asked for help and HE never asked is she WANTED help. It's incredibly rude to just grab someone's shit without a single word, regardless of who you are or what the situation is, just because YOU think you are being helpful or being kind, does not change that. EVEN without a disability that would freak most ppl out.
About your ederly neighbor.. She could be in pain. Given her slow ascent to her house, I'm fairly sure she is. As someone who's experienced long term inflammatory pain, it can make you very, very grumpy. It can make you depressed. Don't take her actions too personally.
r/Slash, did you ask the old lady if she would like help? Or did you just pick up her bags and carry them to the door? A little, "Excuse me ma'am, would you like some help with your groceries?" Would go a long way.
I was living in London and it was a really icy day when I saw an elderly neighbour shuffling, terrified of slipping, struggling with her shopping bags. I offered to help and she was afraid of little, female me! I was terrified for her safety and persuaded her to let me help. She refused my offer to carry them up the stairs to her door so I left her and the bags at the bottom of the stairs. Sometimes elderly people are really scared of people, not everyone is kind. I went home and cried because she was afraid of me and it upset me how little help and support she had but how vulnerable accepting help made her. She was grumpy as heck, but it came from a place of uncertainty and fear. I wish she could have magically known my intentions so she wouldn't have been afraid.
@@thenorthwillow1536 Did he ask to help her? Maybe she wanted to be independent, maybe she was nervous about a stranger taking her stuff without clarifying he wasn't stealing them, maybe she was scared to address a stranger who could clearly overpower her if he wanted to. If he'd asked and made it clear he wanted to help, then sure she can smile if she wants as a thanks.
now idk what that old lady with the groceries was thinking, but in my experience, it's kind of rude to just assume someone wants your help. old age can be humiliating for people who've been living independently for decades. I think it's best to ask the person if they'd like your help before moving their stuff without their permission. it can come off as rude and presumpuous. like, if you saw a wheelchair-bound person struggling to get up a ramp. don't just grab their wheelchair and push them around. ask them first if they want help! don't make assumptions
The side story of RSlash, the old woman, and her groceries is sad. The lady is probably trying to stay as independent as possible for as long as possible, and she needs those trips up and down the stairs to do that. Please don’t just grab someone’s groceries and start moving them four times as fast as she can. Or at least offer to help and wait for her to accept. If she is blocking your progress by being so slow on the stairs, ask her if you can run on ahead of her to get out of her way.
To all the young folks who help older and/or handicapped folks, like me and my wife...THANK YOU for ALL y'all do to help!!! Please don't let the jerks, buttholes, and monsters paint all of us as ungrateful so-and-so's. From the kids of family and friends to the complete strangers that step up and help, HUGE hugs to you all! As for those that act like someone pissed in their cornflakes all the time... They're welcome to have that dump truck finger directed their way.
I carried someone's groceries up the stairs once, she was not disabled but she had a toddler, and yea dragging bags of groceries upstairs with a toddler on your arm isn't the best idea, so when she was carrying the toddler on the stairs. I stopped what I was doing, disinfected my hands, and then carried the bags up the stairs. she was grateful but a little shocked someone would do that lol.
That last story. Back in the 70s, my mom worked for a large airline. One of the bonuses to that was that family members could fly 'standby', which meant I could buy a ticket for $10 to $20, then just wait for an empty seat and go. (back then anyway, no idea how it works today). I honestly do not remember how many cities and states I visited using that bonus, but it was a lot of fun.
@@bcaye In some cases I suspect you're right. They become that fat because they can't put down the fork and seldom if ever pry their ass out of the La-Z-Boy, and eventually even just walking becomes a serious challenge. They blame others for the issue they inflicted upon themselves. Sometimes it's not their fault, though. Sometimes a metabolims doesn't work right, they become obese as a result, and they're just resentful that they got sick, and anyone within range becomes a convenient target for their outrage. And, obese or not, some peopler, particularly as they get older, just turn into hateful pricks.
For the thing with dogs, I 100% agree with rSlash's observations. When I go to walk my dog, there are certain spots on the block where he'll stop and sniff even if he's got nothing else in the tank. During the pandemic, my family has been making jokes that it's the dog way of making sure everyone is still alright.
As a disabled person with mobility issues, rslash, I actually would have been pissed off at you, too. I get your point of view, but, I don't get to be independent very much, so, when strangers just take my stuff and "help" without even asking.... it feels like my independence is getting stolen all over again. I know it might sound weird, but, sometimes I don't want to be pitied, I WANT to struggle. I WANT to be independent. Did you even ask if she wanted your help or did you assume what she wanted and did it without her input?
@@Qsalis Yeah. Exactly. When people don't even make me aware of their presence or intentions first it will scare the f*** out of me. I usually wear noise cancelling headphones when I'm out and that doesn't help.
So my stepmom is in somewhat the same state as what Rslash described, and she had something similar happen. she felt so embarrassed that she just burst into tears when they walked off and I had to go tell the girl who did it that while it was appreciated, don't do it again without asking if she wanted the help first.
Did you ask and approval if you could help with your neighbors grocery bags? If you did, then you are right then you deserve to be upset. If you didn't you then you should be ASHAMED of yourself.
We had a corner lot with one corner being a cul-de-sac. The houses behind us were higher up on a hill, but not too much higher. Thr corner was a huge lawn and we decided to landscape, putting in a hedge to create a kind of smaller contained area where the kids could play. There were also many planting beds. We decided to be nice and show our behind neighbor the plans. This wasnt for their approval. It was just to show them how beautiful the corner would look. They said they didnt like the hedge row because it blocked their view of he street. Sorry, buying their house (the second owners) didnt give them right of approval for what we did with our property. BTW we picked our lot and our house was built before the cul de sac was even put in. So they complained to the HOA. We had already submitted our plans for approval. The only rule we had to follow was that “hedge rows must be 5 feet or less.” Needless to say we put in everything on the plan including the hedge rows. When picking out a lot, you have to think ahead to what empty lots are around you and how they are zoned. Dont want a gas station across from you - dont buy a lot opposite a lot zoned commercial.
I think the old lady that was stealing the cart had this mindset that she was still spry and when you helped her out that was kind of an insult. That you thought she was crippled and that you had helped her signal that you were pittng her. Also I hate that when they leave the carts and they never take him back.
When dogs pee in the same spot, it's not at all like 'liking someone's instagram post'. It's more like writing your name on someone else's property. It's marking. Territorial. Every dog wants the other dogs to know 'I've been here, and you'll just have to live with it'.
When everyone sees you as a burden and just takes away things you used to be able to do but can't anymore, it gets to you. Always ask before you help someone
I'm kind of like rSlash's old neighbor, and at the same time not. Kind of similar situation, and I also refuse help. Because whatever I can do on my own, I want to do! Even if it looks difficult or like I'm struggling to other people. I can however say "thank you, I don't need help, I prefer to do this on my own". And I don't steal grocery carts.
maybe the scowl was the only way she felt safe to communicate to this able-bodied athletic guy who was handling her stuff against her will? she could very well expect that rslash would, for instance, THROW her groceries out of spite if she said anything. and run to the other bags still there and kick them or steal them. we don't know her internal world, she could have been through a lot of unfair treatment. do you think she isn't abused by the general public for being greatly overweight? that nobody ever took her stuff against her will to mock her? and that nobody ever "offered help" to instead ridicule and bully her?
I agree that it was weird that he didn't ask, but this is completely negated by the fact that the next time she was carrying groceries, she stopped and fully expected him to do it again.
Also lots of places allow ppl, like in a small town to use the carts to get home. It's possible the apartment building had an agreement with the store and r/slash were stealing from her.
Gonna be honest, assuming disabled people need your help -- and giving it without even talking to them first -- sometimes comes across the wrong way, rSlash. It's different from person to person, so I'm not saying this is what was going on in this lady's head. But if someone's going about their business, making their way through an everyday task that is more difficult for them than it is for the average person, they might be legitimately offended or hurt by the wordless assumption that they need the help, ESPECIALLY considering how much stigma they have to go through. They might interpret your actions as pity or judgment. Hell, they may have been conditioned to think of themselves as an imposition due to their disability. So, receiving unsolicited help in the course of a routine task that they could've managed on their own can be, emotionally or psychologically speaking, worse for them than just taking their time with that task. If you want to help, ask them if they could use assistance. Not if they need your assistance, or if they're having difficulty, but if they'd like some help. And respect their answer.
I stole a shopping cart from Walmart and my wife took one of their hand baskets. That shopping cart sits in our kitchen and both the shopping cart and hand basket are like a god send. We can store stuff in the cart or bring it out to the car to fill up. My wife uses the basket to put groceries in to take into the house. She is disabled and in a wheelchair so the basket makes it easier on her. Do we regret it? No. Would we steal a shopping cart and basket from some other store no. But this is Walmart. They don’t care.
love the content rSlash last story: even though it sounds crazy and is funnier in the head, i would have say loud and clearly "guys, WE GOT THE JACKPOT" because the man asked what he wanted and missed the choice
