That first guy totally p*mped out his wife. Guaranteed that's why he left, that's why he never came back, that's why he didn't want to make a police report, and it's why he didn't fight to keep his marriage intact. I'd bet anything, that's why.
It's also why the man she was left with mentioned having been promised a 'night' with her and insisted on her doing one more act to please him. (wanted to get his money's worth) Not a threesome with a couple, he was promised a night with HER. I bet the husband also told the guy lies about her being into dominant men and 'non-consensual' roleplay to avoid refunds in case she panicked and resisted. All OP's husband wanted was for him. The ability to effectively cheat with other women and then profit off his wife's agreement with him as well. I bet at the time she said she was okay with just keeping it women he'd already been paid and couldn't go back on his promise.
So the first story, if she consented a second time just to make him leave, that's not real consent. Please make a police report on your husband as well as this man.
She literally consented and said they'd do it downstairs and if he left afterwards. That's legally consenting. If you really don't want something then you better say a hard No and stick to it.
@@arthurramirez5665 ...So by your warped logic, a robber holds you at gunpoint and tells you to "give me all your money" and you do it, that means you're okay with it, right? I mean, you gave him your money, so obviously you consented to the robbery. Please...PLEASE tell me you are not serious and that you're not in a committed relationship, because this is not okay. O.o
Story 1: Consent can be revoked at ANY TIME. It does not matter that the guy was invited to have sex, once someone says NO its NO, end of story. I hope OP presses charges, if not I wish her the best in healing.
@@LLandS18 It's 100% doable. The facts are that she was left alone with a man she didn't know and clearly stated that she wanted him to leave. He pressured her into agreeing that they should continue. This is *not* consent. Any judge with a good head on their shoulders would agree.
@@shadowarchivist2382 the problem with that is is no proof. Especially when it wasn't reported right away. The husband never should have left. It's horrible something like that can even happen
@@shadowarchivist2382 I work in victim services. I work in Canada. But I talk to my counterparts in the United States a lot. And I can tell you right now this kind of story in front of a judge he's going to be found not guilty. Because it's going to be. He said versus she said. Cuz her husband wasn't there to back her up. And unless they have cameras in their house with audio, they're not going to be able to prove he forced himself. I think it's really sweet that you have such a idealistic view of our judicial system, but I'm going to tell you it's wrong and it's very naive. In the United States out of every 100 a rape that is reported to the hospital. Only 5% of those will end in any charges and out of that 5% only one and a half are going to end in any mean for conviction. Canada's a little bit better. Out of every 100 rates reported to a hospital. 35 of them are going to end up with charges. With a 7.8% of them ending in any meaningful conviction. And these numbers are skewed even worse because not every rape is reported to hospital. And not every rape reported to a hospital is not put to the judicial system. Victims can go to the hospital safely both in Canada and the United States do a rape kit and the hospital will start safely. Until the victim is ready to go to law enforcement. Or they won't even do a rape kit if the victim doesn't want one. So there's a lot of cases of rape that are reported to hospitals that law enforcement never even has about. So those statistics are far far worse than what's being shown. So in a case like this that boils down to he said she said and the only evidence that they have is that they invited this guy in their house to have sex with her and her husband. You put that in front of a judge, even a good judge. They're always going to err on the side of caution and find him not guilty. I'm sorry that that pops your idealistic bubble. But victims of violent sexual assault, especially women are let down and drag through the mud. In the judicial system. You put that in front of a jury. She's not a sympathetic victim because she's not a virgin Mary. I guarantee you they're not going to find him guilty. Unless there's video evidence of him forcing her, they're not going to find. Kathy. I'm sorry but it's true you might not like it, but it's the truth.
@@shadowarchivist2382 Also it's really cute that you think this is even going to make it in front of a judge. Because it's not. No prosecutor is going to go through with charges on this guy. They're not. I'm going to tell you the reality what's going to happen if she goes to law enforcement with this. She's going to go to the police station depending on the cop, she could be treated well or chances are more than likely she's going to be made to feel like she's wasting their time. Then they're going to Tuck that complaint away somewhere and nothing's going to be done with it. This happens in Canada and it is multiply worse in the states where this story takes place. So it's super cute that you think it's going to be put in front of a judge but no prosecutors going to take this case. No prosecutors going to even say they have enough for charges. She has no evidence but her word. Her husband wasn't there. He can't say what did or didn't happen. The guy who did it he isn't going to admit to doing it. So it's not going to go to trial. The fact that you think it would go to trial proved to me that you don't understand how much the justice system is set up against women when they report cases of rape. I do think it's cute that you're that naive though. Edit the fact that the rape Shield hasn't been updated in the United States since the 1800s and you don't understand why women can't get Justice is super cute. Because yeah they've tweaked it here and there. But the large rehaul that it needs has not happened since the 1800s. Canada did theirs in the '70s. That's why there is a little bit better. Not much but a little. So again I think it's cute. You think a judge is going to see this case but they're not
But... like...? She left me with a sexy lady of my type for 20 minutes, then came back. So obviously, the correct response is to get a jock she specifically _won't_ like, abandon her for hours, and _possibly_ tell him "he can do whatever he want to her, I'll cover for you." or something similar. How does that make sense?
@detictivecastielmalfoy4220 She literally consented and said they'd do it downstairs and if he left afterwards. That's legally consenting. If you really don't want something then you better say a hard No and stick to it.
@@arthurramirez5665 No that's coercion. HE WOULD NOT LET HER LEAVE WITHOUT A SEXUAL FAVOR. That's not consent. If I held you hostage until you killed someone, according to your logic, I couldn't be held responsible because you chose to kill that person.
@@arthurramirez5665Bruh, if I convinced you to kill someone, because you were afraid of what I would do to you, would it be okay for me to say that you willingly killed someone, because you said you'll do it and you could have said no at any point?
Story 1: Yeah, OP is definitely underreacting. I don't know what the husband told the other guy, but it definitely wasn't anything about consent and boundaries. Sex ed is important, people!
That husband killing the houseplants is a sicko He's getting off to his wifes distress, and thats twisted enough....but the gaslighting of his daughter is psychotic. He actively hides her stuff just so he can berate her for losing it. Honestly OP might feel sad right now, but the gene donor making no attempt for custody is (unintentionally) doing her daughter the biggest favor possible
Yeah, like the act of killing the plants itself seems small but it's something that he literally had no reason to do and that he had to actively continue doing. Which indicates he did it for purely malicious reasons. Huge red flag!
Seems like a guy who thinks women "need to know their place" and is trying to "teach them their place." Completely disgusting. As bad as the guy leaving his wife alone with the rapist. At least there's some small sliver of a chance that guy is just an idiot that doesn't understand how dangerous the world is for women. This guy seems to actively believe the world needs to be more dangerous for women so they "don't get ideas."
Anyone who intentionally kills/damages someone else's living things is a psychopath. The lack of empathy is vile enough, but taking pleasure in the other person's distress is simply evil.
I'll be honest I think he may be a complete narcissist and a sociopath , I feel bad for Op, I feel bad for the daughter and I feel bad for his new girlfriend who doesn't know what she is going to deal with, he sounds dangerous
YIKES. 'He got to pick the guy'. So he picks someone that isn't his wife's type, excuses himself from the situation and leaves his wife in a situation that could have ended VERY badly and then is out of touch for the whole night? No means NO. That other guy should have respected that, and the husband shouldn't have been so blase aboout the whole thing. Makes me wonder if this was absolutely intentional on the husband's part or if he's just that dense?
I'm actually so fucking pissed at OPs husband. Dude had a wife who was happy and eager to schedule regular FFM threesomes *FOR HIM*. Not just a wife that was ok with him stepping out, but who actively arranged it. Dude literally could have just done nothing and had a happy marriage. Instead, he insists on an MMF, picks somebody the wife hates, and then fucking leaves so she can get raped. His brain is literally a noodle. I can't.
I also wonder if he told the guy that his wife is into non-consensual role play - like whenever she says no, it’s all ‘part of the act’. Not excusing the guy, I just want to know what he told him.
@@VictorianDemonicafetishes like that do exist so this is 10 times worse if this is what the husband told him. It would make sense on why he kept excusing it.
@@bryn1063 oh definitely. I’m not excusing the behavior that’s for certain, but it wouldn’t surprise me if the dickhead of a husband told the guy she’s into it and he doesn’t want to be there so that they can do ‘whatever they want’, cause unfortunately, and sadly, this stuff has happened before.
Story 4: He's not having "something". That's one extreme symptom of OCD. Intrusive thoughts very hard to take out of that person's head are a constant, and it can root in for years if not correctly treated.
Yup, extreme ocd can be almost indistinguishable from psychosis in some aspects as the person can have no insight that their intrusive thoughts aren't real. He wouldn't qualify to be institutionalised for the most part, as he's not an immediate risk to himself or others. A specialist OCD clinic might take him on though for a brief stay, but I doubt that they're easy to find + probably expensive af
I was going to comment this, sometimes no matter how irrational it seems a OCD person is extremely paranoid over things. Such as locking the door several times before leaving. If you have ever watched Monk, he has extreme OCD and the show shows just how bad OCD can be.
And if it's been going on for 8 months he straight up should switch therapists, cause whatever his current doctor did is ruining his life (and is probably going to end it too) and he is doing nothing to fix it
Yeah I rly feel for the guy, ocd can cause intense anxiety and hypochondria and no rationality can break the paranoia. He needs a new therapist or at least a second one, because whatever he's doing now is not helping. I wonder if he stopped taking his meds bc he's convinced they're causing his "als"? I hope he gets the help he needs...
It's possible he's just been a creep his whole life but been very good at hiding it and pretending to be decent but I can't help wondering if there's something neurological going on like a brain tumor or infection or something. This sounds like an episode of House MD
That first story was monstrous. The husband CLEARLY arranged something different than what she wanted. And, when it becomes clear how much she tried to give him comfort and security in these, it's clear this husband had nothing but the most vile of intentions here. This wasn't an accident. So glad OP cut and run
Bleached Plants story: What does he mean by "Knocked down a peg" after the confrontation? Does he think OP's love for plants make him feel inferior or something? And then the dollhouse incident where he's making up reasons to get mad at *his own child.* Yeah, this man has issues
The way I read it, it's some kind of mysoginistic thing: women shouldn't have nice things, they should know their place in the kitchen, etc. But considering he cut his friend group off when they called him out on crappy behaviour in the past, he probably just wants an excuse to hurt others.
My ex wanted to knock me down a peg. Basically he felt inferior to me and intentionally said things or mistreated me so that I don’t feel too good. Obviously I figured it out and left him in the dust.
It is nothing that profound (former victim of narcicistic abuse here), narcicists feel the need to get back for PERCEIVED slights. The slights don't need to make sense. They can be entirely delusional (pointing that out gives them an automatic reason for an aditional "real" slight). Some narcicists with psycopathic tendencies, like my dearest mother, also have the impulse to "balance" the field when their source is "too happy" by turning associations of "enjoyment" into a "punishment" (Pets, toys, milestone events, or in this case, plants).
Maybe even top 3 worst things to do to an individual. Leaving her with a rapist, letting her be raped, then gaslighting her and acting like being raped isn't something awful is horrific beyond words
@@leruetheday377 the fact that he didn't show ANY emotion was so surprising. i was expecting him to be angry and defensive but he just checked out. just horrible.
@@notasquiremario3299 He never saw her as a person, just as a thing he can do whatever he wants with. She was never his wife, she was his living sex toy in his eyes
Story 1: Definitely underreacted. How could he NOT see what he did wrong here? He clearly left OP there on purpose to get OP r-worded! Do NOT under any circumstance, reply back if he tries to get in contact with you. Also, call the police on that big guy, he literally TRIED to R-WORD you!
@dracko158 She literally consented and said they'd do it downstairs and if he left afterwards. That's legally consenting. If you really don't want something then you better say a hard No and stick to it. She just wants to be a victim.
Jesus christ, the husband in story 1 didn't try to get his wife assaulted, he DID get her assaulted. She literally said she had to do "something" to get the guy to leave. Not only is OP massively underreacting, so is rSlash. This one actually made me rage on OP's behalf. Immediate divorce, SA charges, cut all contact, both of those men need to go to hell.
How is RSlash underreacting? He called muscle guy a rápist and said the husband seemed to intentionally traumatize OP. The only thing left for Dabney to maybe say would be to tell OP to call the police and cut all contact, which he probably didn't do because a. lots of commenters said the same thing and it would kind of be beating a deåd horse, and/or b. he didn't want to be an armchair counselor.
Story 3: this might be one of the very few times I’m glad a dad abandoned his kid. This sick SOB was intentionally making up stuff, so he could have a reason to scream at his daughter to make her cry. God knows what he would’ve done if OP didn’t finally see him for the man he is. Giving up his custody might not be enough though . I hope she got permanent restraining order, and don’t give me wrong I know people can’t just can’t do this as if it’s nothing. But maybe she should consider moving too, like never let this guy have an opportunity to hurt her or her daughter again.
The fact that the child is happier and feels secure enough to show her joy when he was gone makes me so mad at parents like that asshole who made her cry and always feel tense in her own home.
Doesn't seem like the type. He could have just enjoyed FFMs, but he insisted in an MMF, then did nothing to save the marriage. There's no way he had the forethought to rig spy cameras, and then livestream them across town.
Is it me or is the fact that he prefers “small, petite” women weird too? Is wife described his choice as “dainty” 🫤 on top of what happened, that’s a red flag
@@revilo9792 Bro should just come out and say he likes kids. "Just let people have there preferences it's not hurting anyone!" No shut up this is weird
Story 1: money exchanged hands there. I'd bet anything Husband picked the highest bidder to sleep with his wife and then made the excuse to leave while it was happening. That guy seemed to think he was OWED sex all night. Disgusting.
The fact that he didn't get violent until after she left him shows that he is the type of person who likes to dominate and control and that he was already working up his way to get violent towards her. If she hadn't left he probably would have started hitting her daily
the husband killing the house-plants: He *was* poisoning his wife and kid... or, their minds at least. What he did to the plants is basically the same as he did with the dollhouse items... except he didn't feel the need to lecture her about her apparent lack of responsibility (yet). ... still made her feel like shit when the plants kept dying, just like the kid felt like shit when her dollhouse furniture kept going missing..
Heard the story from another channel and was horrified. OP is so lucky the guy didn't hurt her worse than he did. Fuck the husband (not literally), he set her up to be hurt badly.
Fake Illness Story: I don't know if OCD caused him to believe he had ALS, I don't know a lot about OCD, but this delusion is making him just throw out money for no reason. He needs for than once-a-week therapy, because it could get worse
OCD can cause a person intrusive thoughts very hard to erase. Because those intrusive thoughts aren't anchored in reality, but in small details taken out of proportion because they think of the worst case scenario.
Well some of the common traits of OCD are being particularly anal about basically everything from the position of your dinner napkins to exactly how you lay your silverware. Most OCD people have to do things five times like check and make sure they turned off their water after doing dishes. Check and make sure they turned off the stove after cooking. Check the lock on the door five times when they leave. I mean it's not always five times I've seen it as little as three and as many as 20 times. I used to be a drug counselor and you would be surprised about this, a lot of people who have OCD also use drugs. I mean it's literally called obsessive-compulsive disorder for a reason. The people who suffer from it are both obsessive and compulsive about pretty much everything in their life. They have to have things to be a certain way all the time or there day doesn't go right.
OCD can definitely cause that; intrusive thoughts and fears about having some sort of illness are quite common. Most people with OCD know that their obsessions aren't "real" and are only compelled to follow them because of all the fear/shame/etc. signals their brains flood them with, but there is a specification to the OCD diagnosis called the "insight", measuring how aware a person is that their obsessions are irrational, and someone with low insight can look very similar to someone with a psychosis-based delusion.
@@anonymouspatriotnetwork2740 I've met people with diagnosed OCD that don't have these behaviors at all. I don't know if it's a range of symptoms or just plain misnomer. But the obsessions in OCD aren't about compulsive "doing X". But about having an intrusive thought (usually fearful) and act compulsively as a response. Not even to fix it sometimes but to either run away or shame themselves to oblivion.
There's a separate psychiatric condition apart from OCD that OP's husband may have which could possibly be illness anxiety disorder. He definitely needs psychiatric consult and treatment for that.
The second story made me so pissed!!!! Why why WHY do people in relationships feel like they have to play mind games like that?! Why must they test their partner?? It always ends up bad!!
For real. And the worst part is, a person could agree to a threesome even if they aren’t into it just to please their partner. But in this woman’s mind that’s, what? Tantamount to cheating, I guess? Really, really dumb.
I fully agree, I hate it when people play mind games with me and if I'm dating someone and they do that I'll immediately leave because that's a huge red flag to me.
Last story: I read the story to my mom, who isn't a psychiatrist at all, but she works closely with those who have mental illnesses as that's primarily who her organisation that she works for serve. That includes OCD. Here's what she said about what she thinks: OCD can certainly cause these types of delusions, otherwise known as somatic OCD. However, there's also a good chance that the husband might be suffering from Illness Anxiety Disorder (IAD), or hypochondria. IAD can cause a person to become fixated on the thought that they are suffering from a certain condition, or that they are sick in some way. So the person might try to seek reassurance from medical professionals (or conversely, avoid them out of fear of discovering that person is actually sick in some way). But with the comments the husband made about how he's tired of being alive, and that he'll be dead in a year, shows depressive-like symptoms, and since the husband doesn't actually have ALS, this is a MAJOR red flag. My mom is a mandated reporter, and she said that the wife NEEDS to take action and intervene immediately, as this should be taken as su!cidal ideation. That means the wife either needs to contact emergency services (or if where they live has a crisis line for mental crises), or have him admitted to an inpatient psychiatric facility, because in this case, as my mom said in her opinion, this is something that shows the husband is currently a danger to himself, or he plans to be in one year. So this could also be a way of his mind calling out for help. But with ALS, a common scenario she knows about is people who have been diagnosed early who have committed su!cide. Her uncle committed medically assisted su!cide after his diagnosis two years ago (the uncle was estranged from the rest of our family but he still "called us to let us know about it"...that was a whole wild situation). So people who actually do have ALS commonly don't want to live a life like that, and so they will take the only route out of the condition, even if it hurts their loved ones in the process. The husband seems to be adopting a similar mindset as if he actually had ALS, actively acting and speaking like he was recently diagnosed (even if medical professionals have told him otherwise) and there's nothing he can do. But the wife needs to intervene. This is a red flag. The husband needs serious help, more than just seeing a therapist once or twice weekly, because there's only so much a therapist can do. If they can afford it, or if their insurance will cover it, the husband's best option might be to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
It's also worth considering that this could be the new medication. The wording is unclear, but it sounds like this all may have started when the new meds started. This could very well be psychosis brought on by a bad reaction to a new medication.
THANK YOU! People focus on the money spent for the ER visits and how only his son brings him joy, but no one is mentioning the obvious signs of depression or the very clear "I'll be dead in a year" comment that should be raising the red flags of him needing someone to intervene.
Story 1: Okay, there was no way the husband didn't do this to intentionally sabatoge the whole relationship. He chose a man he knew his wife wouldn't like, left them alone for the whole night, and was weirdly unable to be contacted, was oddly fighting his wife/didn't really care his wife basically got assualted and didn't even fight when his wife left. This guy is seriously messed up
Story 1: I really hope R/ is completely wrong. Because to want to divorce someone so much you set them up to be r-worded, they gaslight them for saying something to you. Is the kind of heartless, evil, sociopathic thing I have ever heard. And I pray this man never gets into any kind of relationship with any woman ever again if that’s how he justifies what happened to a woman he’s been married to for 15 years.
I listen a lot. Hardly comment. But the last story? He is still describing OCD. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I have it. I understand they haven't found proof that he has ALS. But the Obsessive part of the disorder make it hard to move on when you think you found an answer. He does have a problem. But As someone with OCD, it is so difficult to stop your own brain from obsessing over things other people don't care about. I know another person who washes every dish for over 5 minutes, cuz he has to be sure. OCD isn't joke.
My husband also has OCD and I totally recognize all of this. He does this about dementia and used to obsess over different heart issues. Luckily, his OCD isn't that bad and he can eventually move on, but it is a very misunderstood disorder by the public.
3some story: he chose a guy he was attracted to btw. No consideration for what she wanted. Also, 99% of the time only men will find men like that attractive and when they work out and do body building it’s only to impress other men (even subconsciously). (Also just giving that last tidbit of info for any guy currently trying to bulk specifically for women because it’s not gonna work. Kind of like having a sports car.)
My FAVE thing about Reddit is when it helps ppl gain perspective on their relationships and get them out of a toxic situation. Like the show Evil Lives Here, it can be hard to see the signs when you’re up close and love someone
Story 1: OP's husband clearly doesn't understand how soul-destroying it is to be powerless. It's not even just about the sexual violation, it's about having someone else in complete control of you. Ugh, I'm so glad she left him. Story 3: I remember this one... it's still so confusing. What kind of psycho behaviour.
Story one Never use s*x to "fix" an issue in the relationship. .... Last story My grandma was never tested for ALS(despite everyone in the family asking for it) but was tested for everything else yet was never diagnosed with anything substantial. She had horrible doctors, because she had actual symptoms of ALS starting with her hand beginning to close up when I was a child. She survived with not properly treated ALS for about 7 years or so. If he really had a year left he'd be bedridden already, like my grandmother. The last year of her life she could hardly talk and couldn't stand. My grandpa took care of her and they had a nurse come in to help daily. If we visited we would help take care of her giving my grandpa a break with friends. So I also highly doubt Ops husband has it too. He does need a physic eval tho
Story 1: OP's (ex) husband and body builder dude agreed beforehand what would happen and stayed away for hours, believing his wife was alone with this dude, being assaulted and said it was it 'post nut clarity'? Yo...these two dudes are very manipulative and should stay far away from people 😶
*2nd Story:* Why, _why,_ *_WHY_* do people keep playing these 'games' with their partners? Are these people looking for an excuse to get out of their relationships? If you want out, just grow a spine and tell your partner, "I don't want to be in a relationship with you anymore." People are allowed to break up with their partners for any reason, including no reason. It wouldn't surprise me if a large number of those 'relationship test' TikToks were done by sadistic mofos who just wanna see other people's happiness get wrecked.
Here's a tip. Not everyone that is in a relationship with you (romantic or platonic) is doing so because they are interested in you yourself. Some are. Others just want something from you or enjoy playing games or somehow feel better about themselves for it or any number of other reasons that have nothing to do with you.
First story: PLEASE divorce this man. He's a neon red light flag. The thing about threesomes is this: 1. BOTH partners need to agree. 2. Your partner needs to be there all the way through. If they feel uncomfortable or leave, that should be the cue to stop. 3. IF SOMEONE SAYS NO, IT MEANS NO! OP needs a divorce and therapy.
Bleaching plants story: Leave that man. He is unhinged. People who unalive living things, even those with short lifespans like plants are evil. Just divorce and seek full custody of your daughter before he graduates and unalive you both. What an evil cruel man.
Ladies, if your husband or boyfriend leaves you to get assaulted by some guy that could KILL YOU, run, do not walk to the police, get a restraining order and only talk through lawyers.
Worst part, since ops ex didnt show up til 6am, if she kept saying no, that monster would've done stuff for hours. Ppl like ops ex an that thing dont deserve to breathe the same air we all work for
Story 1: people should learn this. CONSET CAN BE TAKEN AWAY!!!! IT DOESNT MATTER IF YOU AGREED AT FIRST!!!! I'm so sorry that she had to go through this. And people don't get how scary and traumatizing that can be. And everyone reacts differently from truama. Poor poor OP. She didn't deserve it what so ever.
Not gonna lie...the first story REALLY pissed me off to the point that I shrieked "What The Actual Fuck!?!?" I had to pause the video because it made me so mad. What that man did was R A P E! And the fact that the husband (now Ex) let it happen and planned it from the beginning makes this SOOOOOOO much worse. OP should report this to the cops IMMEDIATELY!!
Story 1: Last time I checked, relationships are built on trust and communication so OP's husband completely failed in that part. Her husband sounds like my father who last night, victim blamed every woman who accused Cosby because " they went to the party wanting to go home with someone ".
Plant Killer; it's not uncommon for a narcissist to wear a mask so convincingly for years, decades even, then the moment the smallest crack appears and they're called out on it, the whole mask shatters. Their reaction is to frantically try to put the mask back together and lash out to anyone who tries to help but sees his real face. From my own experience, it kinda makes sense that the bleach on the plants was a test for an escalation on OP and their daughter, especially if he had a new gf fairly quick. Like he was testing how undetectable various levels of bleach would be and their effectiveness to quantity ratio.
Story 1: I really hope OP gets out of there and gets police involved, her husband belongs in jail for what he did Story 3: Leave this guy right now. First it's plants- and there it is, it never ends at plants.
Last story: I remember hearing that there was a psychological condition in which a person so heavily believes that they have some illness/injury that their body starts to replicate the symptoms. I don’t know if that’s what OP’s husband has but I think seeking out a psychiatrist/psychologist would probably be a good idea.
Fake illness: Okay, so this guy has symptoms of depression and obviously OCD, and actually OCD can indeed lead you to health anxiety (I say this with first-hand experience). There's an issue with sexism too, not sure where to begin with that, but I'm pretty sure this particular type of health anxiety does have a name (it's not hypochondria). And so here's the problem; if OP breaks up with this guy it could very well lead to a suicide, so it has to be managed very very delicately.
Story 1: instant fucking divorce. She was sexually assulted and nok only did the husband not care it also sounds like he wanted it to happen. Pushing and pushing and pushing until you get a yes is not consent. This is seriously one of the worst Reddit stories I’ve ever heard.
Story 3. I always say to my kids, " Never feel bad for being tricked by someone when tricking you was their only intention." Some people are so sick and calculated with their manipulation that it would take a mind reader to figure it out. There can be no visible red flags.
She specifically catered to his preferences, while he brought in the exact opposite of what she's comfortable with, then left her alone with this stranger for hours and waved off what happened while he intentionally left her vulnerable and alone. He doesn't care at all that she wants a divorce. At best, he just doesn't love or care about her. At worst, he served her up to a predator and is apathetic or wanted to punish her. Wouldn't be the first time someone happily participated in a threesome but hated their partner afterward.
Story 1: I'm so glad op got out of that relationship he clearly didn't care about her at all, I mean who tf reacts that way when told that their SO was assaulted... I just hope she takes the extra step to go to the police about the big guy for her sake and any other woman's sake who has the misfortune to end up alone with this pos.
The absolute lack of consideration from the husband is sickening. If I was OP I would be terrified to be around that man and would probably press the question "was money exchanged?" cause this is a red flag for possible pimping. I went to a seminar about trafficking and loved ones are a major contributor because of their ability to manipulate and guilt.
S1) Divorce. Full police charges and never be alone with either of them. No is no. That was not consentual. If the husband promised him a full night that was the husband deal to finish. Dude was trespassing when OP said no. He suggested the threesome? Yeah he's cheating. Im glad op left. S2) Sounds like a bait and switch. She baited the idea and is now switching gears to make OP the bad guy for agreeing to the bait. S3) Be glad it was found out before you were next. The plants was the starting point of his psychotic plans. Yeah his actions shows he doesn't deserve to be around a rock garden.
First story: I have a huge feeling that he actually kinked OP. Yes, I think he actually asked for money and that's why he was so comfortable with leaving his wife with a potencial predator that could easily dominate her.
On The final story the last thing I think he needs is divorce. There’s a HIGH likelihood that it’ll end with him spiraling or killing himself. What he needs is inpatient care. Followed with relationship therapy
Story 4: The Husband seems to have Hypochondria (Illness Anxiety Disorder). Most think that it's just people being afraid of germs, but it also describes people who believe they are ill. It seems likely to me because post COVID a lot of people now got a minor form of it. My own mom now wears medical gloves whenever she goes to a supermarket. I also see a whole lot more people wearing masks than before, regardless of season. Like before COVID it was 0, now I can see a minimum of 4 per day when going out. Also I really wonder what kind of OCD the husband has, OCD can vary between people, including having symptoms of hypochondria, and he may have developed a resistance to OCD meds over the years. Or he may also be having a mental breakdown from a midlife crisis, which the OCD worsens.
Story 1: The husband promised the guy a night of sex, but did the wife? That’s fucked up. Then tried to blame the wife for being insecure when he left her in danger.
Story 1: pretty sure she said no to that guy several times and her ass of a husband leaves her with him cause he's all insure by the guy he picked and tries to spin it around like she was too but really isn't. Yeah she needs to divorce him from Leaving her with a dude that thinks just cause he got consent for one session doesn't mean it's consent for another session. She has all rights to still report this man. Story 2: Yeah with R/Slash on this I don't really like these highschool level of relationship games. Can we leave that crap where it belongs cause even back when I was in highschool I hated that crap. Story 3: This man needs to be locked deep away from the rest of the world, never to see the light of day ever again. I wish his new gf well cause she'll need it when he decides to do this to her next. Last Story: Yeah R/Slash is right I think this guy needs serious mental health help asap. Cause even if it's not what he thinks is gonna kill him he may end up doing something worse.
omfg when you said “after 15 years of marriage you just walk away, it almost makes me wonder” i straight up had to pause it bc i thought you were about to say something else
Ok, but story 3 - if op is still friendly with his mother, she's gotta encourage her to tell the new girlfriend what he's done. If he hasn't at the very least had some therapy yet, it's dangerous for him to be dating anyone
I like to follow the philosophy to never assume malice when stupidity would suffice. Even so I struggle to understand how so many guys seem to not understand how women can be scared of someone that can literally pick you up without effort
Story 1: idk why, but the guy saying OP's husband promised him a night of s** leads me to believe OP's husband made him pay for it. Doesn't excuse anything ofc, absolutely not, that's just the vibe I'm getting from this.
Dang, the plant girl had married a psychopath. He kept up appearances for the sake of seeming normal, but when things were falling apart he stopped caring about that.
What happened to Story 1 OP was sexual assault, she needs to go to the police. It might not go anywhere given the circumstances and how shitty the police are, but he might have other victims, or the paper trail could help if there are new ones.
last story: i have pretty intense ocd. ive also had delusions somewhat like this, but they usually go away pretty quickly (but obviously not always). it seems his weekly therapy isn’t working for him, so i would maybe try an intensive outpatient program that specializes in ocd or to find a specifically ocd therapist (if that’s not who he sees already). some therapists just aren’t equipped to treat all types of ocd, and that’s pretty common, but in this case you definitely need someone that is. this is going to take a lot more work than just a few days or even a few weeks, so i wouldn’t blame you OP if you focused on yourself and the wellbeing of your children. the burden of ocd is a hard one and you’ve spent a lot of time already trying to help your husband, which is commendable, but at the end of the day you have to prioritize yourself and your children and not his delusions. i hope you can work this out
Yeah, everyone’s made the right points here about consent. There’s no point where it’s too late to say no. And while I’m personally kinda icked out by the idea of multiple partners (both due to my beliefs and because I feel awkward enough doing something so intimate with one consistent partner, which is very much my own issue) even I know that those who mutually agree to any kind of polyamory are usually very focused on safety and consent. Like people who have always made that a part of their relationship are usually very particular about vetting those who join them in it and about making sure everyone feels safe and has needs and wants considered. Otherwise it’s too easy to end up with hurt feelings at least and actual disasters (accusations, assaults, diseases, divorce, prison, death!) at worst. You can’t, pun intended, screw around with some things without risking terrible consequences.
Story one is fishy to me. I don't know if I agree with our wonderful host that he was trying to end the relationship. I almost wonder if he was trying to pimp her out and was making money on the side from these guys.
Story 3: there was a newer update about op's ex and new gf, but i can't recall what happend. But in the end, she and her kid are still safe and physically away from the monster
Story 1. Once you say "No" it doesn't matter what you previously said yes to. The moment you say no it's no longer consensual sex. And you do not need to ask permission to call the police, especially not from the person who left you alone to be assaulted. He doesn't want it reported because he doesn't want people to find out what happened. If they did then they'd find out that it happened because he left her there alone. I'm also willing to bet he doesn't want to face charges because it sounds a lot like the guy paid for an hour, without the wife's knowledge. Either way, that husband is a complete scumbag.
For the first story. She should absolutely leave him. He absolutely left her in a dangerous situation and invalidated her feelings of betrayal and anger. Secondly, it’s sorta wild that there’s a disturbing trend between the girl in a relationship will suggest bdsm to spice things up while guys always try to invite more people for a threesome. Edit: I didn’t listen to the second story until now and know I have.
One RU-vid video wisely used the metaphor of sexual consent to drinking tea. You don't have to drink tea just because people expect you to. Plus trying to force a sleeping person to drink tea is a horrible idea.
Story 3: Pretty sad that OP knew her husband was being abusive towards their daughter, watched him repeatedly berate their daughter, and was more or less indifferent, just stepping in sometimes after she already allowed him to shout at the kid for a while. Only when she discovered that he was killing HER plants was she bothered to act. Yes, she incidentally discovered that he’d engineered the situations when he got mad at their daughter, but him bullying the child over and over (before she realised he’d set it up) had no impact on OP until his behaviour affected her. She was perfectly fine with him being nasty to the kid until he started targeting OP too.
Jeezus, husbands like these make me glad I'm not straight. Granted, the crazy girlfriend in story two is not exactly a gem herself, but at least she was just childish and manipulative, not *criminally dangerous* ...good gods.
For reference on the plant story, a 5 leaf monstera albo can run anywhere from $200-500 depending on the varigation (pattern) and maturity of the plant
Story 1: I wonder if the husband told the other guy that his wife likes rpe play, and that she's into being told what to do. Which could explain why he'd refuse to get the cops involved.
@TheDarkLink7 Makes you wonder why he ghosted his whole friend group. If I were them I'd keep an eye out for him And maybe higher a private investigator
The houseplant psychopath story makes me think of cases where a brain tumor has totally changed someone’s personality. That wouldn’t excuse the behavior, or make her actions to protect herself and her daughter unreasonable, but that dude should probably see more than one kind of doctor.
Story 2: Yep, OP, you are. She dug the trap, baited it, and got mad because you fell in. Cut the relationship and go find someone who wants a companion and not a lab rat.
