r/Satan - Satanic Valentines 

I. Love. This!!!!! 😁👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

OH MY GOSH ITS ALICE ANGEL- ON A VIDEO ABOUT SATAN??????? I’m sorry

I've got one as well!! It's a Muslim, an Atheist, an Othodox and a polytheist arriving to the doors of heaven. To the Muslim, the guide says "Go in room 42, but be very quiet when passing by room eight" To the Atheist, the guide says "Go in room 67, but be very quiet when passing by room eight" To the Orthodox, the guide says "Go in room 56, but be very quiet when passing by room eight" The Polytheist asked to the guide "Why must we be quiet when passing by room eight?", to wich the guide responded "Well the catholics are here, and they think they're the only ones up there!"

JFHDHDJS THATS GENIUS

this deserves more uppvotes.

I woulda done the same thing.

life goals honestly

He is a prince.

That dude is the most W man a man can be

Omg that's absolute couple goals

This is funnier if you think Amy is amaterasu, the Shinto sun god. Deity craft(ing) taken to the next level iykwim

I thought his name was Asmodeus? Or was I wrong? (I'm not trying to be mean, just curious-)

@@bumblebee9213 Amdusias is also a demon, Asmodeus is the Prince of demons.

I told my very Christian mother in law that her grandchildren would be named Mary-Lilith and John-Samael. Sadly had to explain the joke but she was still laughing 20min later. I love my in laws. Also, I'm not having kids.

Reminds me of Amy from Faith

this is pure genius

This is pure gold

Good strategy. I might use this myself if I have to deal with them multiple times. Bonus points if you draw a pentagram. (Don’t finish drawing it unless you actually want to summon something.)

I love this

captiosum es

thats why i learned latin. I can calmy say things about bread and parrots or compliment people and sound like im cursing people

One more reason to learn Latin I guess

Have you started?

Hell yeah, do more collabs OT

Yes let’s make it better with “One Click at a Time”

I concur!

Next Click and OT collab will be on r/Satan

lets go

Probably true

Just gave you the 69th like

It's true. I just left

@@MeeowzerStrike 96 likes

Yeah I'm a serial killer but I'm not scared

Maybe it’s because he’s colourblind? That’s the only reason I can think of

@@SorowFame I don't think that's how most colorblindness works, like it's hue blindness not value blindness (I'm not an expert or anything lol no need to listen to me)

@@ErisDraws I don’t know how colourblindness works either

I was thinking maybe the sky directly above and in front of him was blue and the sky behind him was gray and the wind blew the raindrops on him. It would explain why he didnt see the clouds if he couldnt even be bothered to look behind him XD

At literally no point did you see the sky above him.

I’ve always seen the discouragement of premarital sex as a way to prevent unplanned pregnancies for people who may not have the living conditions to support a child

Considering I love fall this slightly worries me and makes me happy too.

@@Renge43 r/AccidentalSatanWorshipper New subreddit idea!

@@jaidenalonzo4881 Oh I’m not an accidental worshipper. But I am all for the idea. Lol

@@Renge43 OwO

You will be like Lucifer

Which was completely the point. The entire point of the Church of Satan was to troll the pearl clutchers, and get gov’t subsidies. They don’t literally worship Satan, that would be ridiculous.

@@sophiejones3554 Note that there's a difference between The Church of Satan and The Satanic Temple.

this comment gives me pure joy at how true it is

Living depiction of appearances can be deceiving. A good deception for a good lesson in morals.

Although I haven't met many satanists, exactly 0% of them were assholes. I wish I could say the same of Christians.

I thought this was going to bring up celibacy. I was wrong.

The leader of a cult whose personell isn't allowed to have kids blames others for not having kids... 😂

Exactly! Priests should choose pets! Wait no..

Didnt God like send one of his kids to spread his business card and then die and send his other to work an 24/7 job in hell. :/ just saying

@@pumpkinpatch9790 a unpaid 24/7 retail job

That's even worse than when the Athiest man who was once my father said that it's like having an electric chair for a religious symbol. At least the electric chair one isn't antisemitic. ---

oh damn, that priest said some true crap

@@max_the_mantis5173 but the cross was heavely anti cristian. that is the point, it's not a very good symbol. if the priest was saying that as a critic, then it's a good critic, humans made that symbol anyway, so mistakes happen and they should be correcting it

Gotta love Billy Joel.

Hell seems kinda nice tbh

Where do I sign up?

Lemme go find the gates of hell rq Brodie

Forgot the ninth(?) circle.

DEVIL = GOOD GOD = EVIL IRONIC PROOF: GOD KILLED MILLIONS (great flood/plagues, etc.) AND NUTSO PEOPLE STILL WORSHIPPED HIM, ITS NUTS! MEANWHILE, SATAN TRIED TO REBEL AGAINST HIM TO GET PEOPLE AWAY FROM THAT MAINIC GOD! LUCKLY HE GOT THOUSANDS OF "ANGELS " BUT GOD SENT THE GOOD GUY TO HELL I JUST HOPE SATAN FOUND AIR CONDITIONING DOWN THERE. FROM THE AMOUNT OF SCIENTISTS DOWN THERE, THERE GOTTA BE!

I'd throw a trans flag at it

That’s 2 sentences. . .

If you se a wild transphobe misgender it. Even better if you call it by a version of its name that is more for the opposite gender

​@@justluna8729ehh great saying, great sentence, same difference

I agree wholeheartedly

I understand where you're coming from! I didn't know about asexuality until recently and it's been so freeing.

Yeah, I thought I was just broken for the longest time. Finding out otherwise was an incredible feeling, that there were other people out there who understood, people who didn’t inexplicably link romance and sex together as a ‘you must have one to find the other’. Being told that guys liked sex and that I couldn’t just hold out on them if I wanted to find a partner was just…really disheartening. Because I can’t. Learning otherwise felt like a leaden weight I didn’t even know was there was lifted from my very being As a funnier side note to the more serious part, I thought books were lying about teenagers being super horny when I was one, because I never was at all so clearly all teenagers were like this. It wasn’t until after that I was just like oh. Lol

Congratulations on finding out who you are! I'm also on ace spec and I have felt broken for a very long time to the point I pretended to have a crush in primary school which resulted in me being bullied because I WANTED to feel like others, not like the outcast.. it's nice to know I'm not the only one

also,hi fellow asexual!

We're also asexual! It's great seeing more and more of us about!

your mother is amazing

ha same

Hope you all get better soon

Honestly same

Dysphoric? What wrong with “bad” dude? Arrogant twit.

Sameee

I was expecting him to knock the scenery by revealing that it's just a green screen

cliccy kinda sounds like it'd be pronounced with an italian-style pronunciation. like "clichy"

Whoa, thats cute I love lemon sharks- And I also love your name you fellow Saiki K. watcher DHFBGDSGFDFAG

@@jaceisjustjace1596 Same lol.

It’s a murder snak from dark reunion

When I was 4, my older half-bros (youngest was 8 years older than me, oldest was 15 years older) made me fetch something under the oldest's water bed (that had almost a crawl space on the wall-side), then told me a baby-eating monkey was in there with me, and sealed off both exits, so I couldn't get out AND it was pitch-black. I wasn't even scared of monkeys, or anything, but I was still terrified. Screamed for my life, and my youngest bro eventually let me out.

Are you guys mentally okay? I mean I sorta already know the answer but are you okay?

I suddenly very much appreciate not having a relationship with my sister

I suddenly very much appreciate not having siblings.

@@kai_binary2951 My case is def not the norm, at all. Like, my oldest bro tried to unalive my whole family, when I was 6. My youngest bro repeatedly tried to drown or suffocate me, while "babysitting" me. The middle bro just repeatedly tried to unalive himself. But my dad was super physically abusive, to everyone BUT me (until I hit puberty, anyway, and he actually had to face that I wasn't another son), and my mom was very mentally ill (which gets worse during times of stress). Absolutely did not have a good childhood. And the adults in our lives played us all against each other (successfully). Since I was the only one not yet being beaten by my dad, my brothers all resented me. And it didn't help that my dad would say things to me, like, "You're like the son I never had," in front of all of us kids. I was his daughter. He had 2 blood sons, and a step son. Just for cruelty's sake. Youngest bro came out as gay at 15, and my dad kicked him out. He was living in a shack with a bunch of other homeless people, and got scabies within a couple months. I have a good relationship with my youngest bro, now. I completely forgave him, because he was put through so much more crap than myself. Oldest bro died of an overdose, last year. Middle bro hasn't been in contact in at least 20 years. And I haven't talked to my dad, at all, since I was 16 or 17. I'm doing alright, now. It was a lot, but as long as I don't ever have to go back to it, I'm great. 👍🏻 No matter what happens, I know it'll still be better than that. In comparison, adult life is great. I did have a great step dad, from around 16 years old. He also died, almost a year ago, unfortunately. He was actually a really good man. He made me want to be a better person, because he made me realise it was possible. He'll be forever missed, but I feel so fortunate to have known him. 😕

no one is innocent on this channel, we're safe from being eaten by Mango

@@randomdreamer5429 **CRUNCH**

Well Mangos eyes are on the front on his head and they are the sings of a predator but he is also cute so yeah mango eating someone is the best way to go out

I'd rather trust a pretty, hot as hell guy than an old bearded mass murderer...;-;

@@kirakookie fair enough

Which one? A.) The demon B.) The Helltaker character C.) Tom Ellis D.) The "Obey Me!" character

@@kyrraperez675 A and D But, the holy texts too for major religions.

The hottest angles live in hell! Go to hell and get laid!

Fr

But wait, if it was replaced with homophobia, then doesn't that mean the Bible now DOESN'T condemn pedophilia??

@@nukl3argam3r38 i mean I haven't read the whole thing but I'm pretty sure there's some other parts that would condemn it Also i believe it was closer to saying "boy" instead of "child" and the translators were focusing more on the gender rather than age

The church changed it to man because they didn’t want the crowd to realize the church was the problem.

@GretchTheZ I read it years ago and haven't since (other than some strips I saved). Unfortunately I don't even remember where I read it from. Hope someone else can help cause I want to reread it as well 😅

Oh no I came to the replies just for that ahah! I read a long time ago too and I want to read it again now

I believe it got deleted in the Tumblr purge but I believe if you Google it someone made a Dropbox archive? not complete tho unfortunately

I just found it on Imgur.

@@NatLaS It's been yeeted off of Tumblr, but archived in places like "Anyone know what happened to the comic The Misadventures of Tobias and Guy?" on r/AskGayBros

Relatable as a Thiestic Satanist tbh

Id be like, oh it’s the click, and keep walking

I'd give him company. It's always nice to turn someone's monologue about Satan into a dialogue about Satan.

I am very happy that I turned your likes into 69

Knock em out cold

What about a pinecone shaped stink bomb?

@@catsaregreat6314 oohhh good idea

Can we throw a landshark at it?

YES!!!!! So it’s there but people can never get it or if they do buy it it says 666 or hell somewhere or maybe even it’s just another ticket to hell- that is such an amazing Idea!!!

I hope things are gonna get better for you soon, hang in there, you can do it. I may not know you, but I believe in you ^^

May you see a silver lining for every gray cloud. 🙏❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

I hope it will get better my friend. I know that and can agree with your comment.

Hope life stops f-cking you over however it is rn! (no but srsly, hope life starts improving soon)

I hope that a demon will give you a well deserved hug 🧡

Ha, I had a dream when I was just a freshman that my little highschool had a third floor that led to hell and everyone there was partying and eating pizza, also they had a wii. Idk why but there was a wii, which happened to be my favourite controller at the time 🤣

@@oro5265 easiest controller to slide up *there*

@@notditto4948 are you also a kurtis conner fan?

@@kittycathxp397 yes

@@notditto4948 well, let's share some 6 am hotdog?

If you work real hard and are the literal son of God you too can be successful

By the way do you know how he unlocked the dev console

His dad is the dev.

You must be so proud!

your child sounds fun to hang out with

@@babyking8613 my god I appreciate this reply on so many levels. You forget the shit your kids say, and this was one of those moments. Since then she has made a garland of googly eyes and a lamp ray paddling pool :) Turns out it wasn't a phase and whilst I was initially quite concerned, now I think if the world goes mad max style, she'll not only survive, but thrive :D

@@maebla Your welcome! I love hanging with people like your tiny child.(I call all children that are under the age of 10 Tiny child.) And I am happy you appreciate my comment.

The "Teen Titans Go!" episode was right all along!?

Satan would want you to learn just how Click-like Atheist-RU-vidrs often are! Try to get into Atheist-Content after you saw how funny it can be with Holy Koolaids Videos on 'Speaking in Tongues' and 'Revising Gods Prophecy'. And multiple Click-Fans thanked me previously after learning my Watch-Suggest of 'Creaky Blinder is like The Click but OLD' was so true.

@@slevinchannel7589 I understand those words individually, but not in the order you put them in...

@@Yuruble Simple: Try Atheist-RU-vidrs, they are great. Holy Koolaid IS an Atheist-RU-vidr. So he IS great. Thats literally JUST MATH.

@@Yuruble Type in the words into RU-vid and videos pop-up that will make Click-Fans laugh.

@@slevinchannel7589 Oooh, that makes more sense. Thank you!

yeah definedly!

And Hazbin Hotel! ❤️❤️❤️

We told them we were demonically possessed, never came back after that.

I’ve never had door to door Mormons but the Jehovah’s Witnesses came by a lot when I was in college. I’d say “sure, come on in, I’ll make some tea and we can discuss your beliefs. And then I get an equal amount of time to tell you about Lutheranism, which is what I practice.” They never took me up on it.

My aunt answered the door for a Jehovah’s Witness person who was out tracting. She offered the woman a cup of lemonade as it was hot. They got to talking to about my aunts birds, her dogs, & other things. They made a weekly thing of meeting up for lemonade after that.

The last time one came to my house I suggested they get a job as a newspaper deliverer, since if they were going door to door anyway, it would be nice to do something actually useful and get paid for it in the process.

Reminded me of the same thing lol Also I love the statues. The first one is more of a twink Satan, the second one (the one most of us know) is a dilf. Representation is important 🙏🏻

can i have both of them?

To anyone else looking for them: you're looking for "L’ange du mal" (1842, Joseph Geefs) and "Le genie du mal" (1848, Guillaume Geefs).

The Click is Samuel Hayden confirmed

@@MinesweepActual we are only temporarely disabling the tower you need to remove each lens individualy carefuly release the hinches

Love the planet, love yourself! 😏

Hold on, you could use that heat energy from hell in order to generate power. Do you reckon satan would be so kind as too let us have a door to hell just for energy production?

@@timetraveler7 Just throw some paperwork at satan, and tell him it's directives from the E.U. If he got complaints he's welcome to bring it up on the next meeting at Bryssel. Just make sure he goes through the proper channels first otherwise they'll drop his case "between the chairs".

even the date for Christmas comes from pagan tradition. December 25 was originally a roman holiday called saturnalia

Upon looking it up it seems that the original design for Santa dates back to 1881 as part of a political cartoon, rather than as part of a Coca-Cola ad campaign.

@@forgottenmoschip5780 not much better. I'd argue that that's actually worse.

Blind dude's name was Hod, Balder's brother. Basically Frigg loved her son so much she forbade anything to kill him, but forgot Mistletoe. Loki tricked Hod into shooting an arrow with mistletoe on the tip and killed Balder. Pretty sure that's why the gods killed Loki's sons and tied him up with their intestines.

@@udenifernando3024 pretty sure she didn't ask mistletoe cause obviously, HOW THE HECK CAN A STUPID LEAF MURDER A GOD?! But Idk, you look it up.

I thought it was angel tears, but cried so randomly that it didn’t occur to me maybe they were sad.

I have one word for you (after having said all this: OT

But is anyone actually sick tho

@@cftyftyufyfuyfty yeah ofc? wdym?

Yep, and he got such vast quantities of mockery for it from the atheist community that he won't dare bring it up any more and makes excuses if someone asks him about it.

Ah yes, the major accomplishment of making it past the first 5% of the conversion process. It'll go much faster from this point if my research holds true.

Co....conversion to what 👀 im scared but intrigued

@@just_a_joltik The Conversion of your christian Mother to a free thinking Human Being ^_^

@Jasperdotchr dies *The devil* So lets see what you did before you died *Sees this comment* The devil calls the click to collect one of his followers The click: Hey you finally arrived come on mango wants you to pet him

@@elijah1494 tbh, that sounds amazing ngl. i get to pet fluffy sharks all day, thats a win for me

As a Christian he is literally my favorite thing in the entire world to watch

also as a half christian half witch I APPROVE

I'm holding out for the Emotional Support Demon.

@@wtfamidoingwithmylife1245 Same

Same lol

Same only cause the braces I had made holes so bad in my teeth that you see the nerves and makes it hard it eat some food especially sweets but Marshmallow don't makes my teeth burn also I made version of non toasted smores it gram cracker with Nutella on it then put 1or2(1 if rectangle but 2 if regular) Marshmallow on the Nutella then done taste the same it's useful if you want smores but it's raining outside

I usually just burn them and eat them. Sometimes I add crackers and chocolate, but not often

Nope. I'd say that's a good idea and I think I'll add it to my list of petty revenge and pranks. Pays to be prepared.

outlive the version of yourself you dislike

@@ravenzaphara5513 Actually wholesome

I could become your greatest enemy..?? If you want me to..??

@GretchTheZ it's called fictosexual

@GretchTheZ also the costumes do require a bit of um... Extra work from the imagination. Drawn characters are sexy because you can do anything on a piece of paper, but the person in that fox costume is a human, and the suit covers up the stuff that makes the drawings sexy, even if the human has abs/curves like that. Also, it's okay. There's weirder fetishes out there, for one.

join the bi side

@Insomnia_Gaming and that what I want

@Insomnia_Gaming yes just yes you have great idea lemme sub to you and Daly Dali

This made me think of someone showing up in hell wearing one of those novelty t-shirts that say something like 'Too hot to be single'

@@vanillathebard Lmao yesss

I want a succubus gf lol

That is so cute, i Love your positive approach

Even better.

But indians don't eat meat

@@ugwuanyicollins6136 I'm sure there are vegetarian/vegan Indians, but not all of them are. There are a lot of vegetarian dishes in their traditional cuisine, but many of them also have lamb, pork, or chicken in them.

@@ugwuanyicollins6136: I don't eat meat either because I don't need it, but some humans have micronutrient deficiencies and therefore should consider

@@akumayoxiruma yeah i understand you

Also want to add: I'm certainly no expert but aren't there groups around the world, religious or not, that don't eat meat? And they've been around for a while? Not really understanding what that person was going on about.

Mmmm cannibalism.

The body of Christ + the mind of Satan = The Click.

I saw a drawing of what Jesus actually looked like based off fashion and the location and such and I was like "DAMN he's hot" I wasn't the only or but ofc the comments were like Ya'll calm down it's Jesus lol.

@@deadlydingus1138 He's half dicine, right? So that would make it only half cannibalism.

@@shytendeakatamanoir9740 what I learned was that Jesus was both fully human and fully divine (he’s Jesus, he can do that) so it’d be full cannibalism but you’d also be eating a full god at the same time.

I want a demon familiar!

@horsegirltpyou4339 As cool as that sounds I doubt they’re cheap, I’ve heard the price has gone up 2 souls due to inflation

Why do you all think Heaven is just boring, it’s where good people go not where dull Christian grandmothers live

Yeah, I've never had a "i really like this person, im a fan of them" moments in my life. Never have i ever, became happy when someone uploaded a new video. Not even my favorite LoR streamer. But this guy managed to make me smile and feel good about my dwindling self confidence, plus he makes me a happy man with his every uploads!

Is Amy short for something?

@@SorowFame No, it just says ”The Fifty-eighth Spirit is Amy, or Avnas.”

Where can I buy one? Is Pseudomonarchia Daemonum the same thing but with only 69 (nice) demons? Or is it totally different demons?

@@eaterbattery I ordered mine from Adlibris, an online book store but as far as I know Adlibris is only available in northern Europe. And just from aquick glance, the Pseudomonarchia Deamonum contains many of the same demons in Ars Goetia (the first of the Lemegeton) but some of the demons seem unfamiliar to me, hope this helps (:

Find Jesus please. Your existence is cringe.

@@waldorfsalad2307 Hail Satan

@@waldorfsalad2307 Go touch grass

@@waldorfsalad2307 Find Satan, for gods sake, your advice is omega cringe.

@@waldorfsalad2307 dude wtf are you doing under a video from r/Satan telling people to find Jesus

You just made me remember that I used to have a plushy dog that I named Aristoteles (part of the writing in his collar along with the name of the brand that made him was "Ari") and that he was an emotional support (but not demon) plushie, you really brought back good memories, thank you!!

@Ignis I need a donut Viking in my life XD

aka a PIE