I really hope the second OP is okay.. I went to check their post and the mods took it down for “threatening intimate violence against minors” as if it was OP’s fault. I’ve never been more disgusted with Reddit mods..
There is so much wrong with this situation and the fact that OP hasn't told anyone IRL makes it harder to help. She needs to tell someone she trusts because I would call this textbook grooming. The age gap was bad enough and it just kept getting worse. I'm not here to bash age gaps either as they aren't always bad but this is a textbook example.
Yeah Reddit mods have the highest power trip high out of any moderator that exists currently. I've had posts removed for the most random reasons, my favorite one being a witch hunt when I didn't name anyone. Some of the people that browse Reddit too can be just as bad as the mods.
Did you miss the part where she said she doesn't want to tell anyone? Sadly you can't convince someone to do something they don't want even if it's to put them in a safe environment, and she's too afraid to tell anyone. I agree with you but it might be impossible to convince her to tell anyone.
Going to have to disagree with you on your solution for the op where her boyfriend threatened to r-word her. She should immediately take that message to the police.
100% his attitude is worsening, and then there is the major point that he is pressuring a MINOR to have intercourse. From the fact he was working that job, he is probably over 18 and is an adult. So not only potential rapist, but definate pedophile.
"just break up with him" tells me you don't know the struggle and actual danger of this situation. Op is a minor and is a grooming victim. She needs to go to her parents and the cops
@@kiracaroso I wouldn't say "Sheltered to the extreme". Just that he hasn't experienced extreme harshness. You can live a good and unsheltered life, while still never experiencing extreme trauma.
Story 2: there is NO scenario in which a 23 YEAR OLD ADULT should be dating and trying to get sexual interactions with a 17 YEAR OLD. I dated a 20 year old when I was 16. 4+ years age difference isn’t a huge deal when you are full grown, established adults, but when you are literally still in high school, it IS a massive deal. Your life experiences are so different and they can and will be used to take advantage of you in one way or another. It will have a lasting impact on your life. Rslash, I am URGING you to see that this situation is dangerous. This is not just a “just break up” situation. This man knows where she goes to school. What is stopping him from waiting outside her school to hurt her? Among other possible scenarios? The fact that OP hasn’t told her parents and feels like she CANT tell her parents is scary. They would probably not approve if they knew which is why she didn’t tell them, right? But she needs to tell them now for her own safety. This man is a predator, straight up. He’s trying to groom her, and he’s taking advantage of her. Rslash, please take another look at your perspective on this. You have a young child. These situations are extremely serious. The fact that this guy openly said that he was going to assault OP is horrifying, and she’s honestly lucky that she saw it and now will have the chance to escape with proof before anything bad could happen.
i feel like rslash doesn't understand the gravity of this situation because he's a man and has never been a teenaged woman. plus, she does need to break up with the guy and best case scenario, just breaking up would solve all her problems. after all, sane decent human beings don't go psycho and murderery after being dumped, they just feel sad and move on. and its hard for a sane, decent human being who never had to worry about being raped and murdered by their romantic partner to see danger in someone you are supposed to trust.
There is NO scenario in which a 23 YEAR OLD ADULT should be dating and trying to get sexual interactions with a 17 YEAR OLD... Unless you live in the UK or most of Europe where the age of consent is 16. America isn't the centre of the world, and even then there are many states where the age of consent is 16 or 17.
@@desutoron1051European here. Regardless of the legal age of consent, a 23 year old SHOULD NOT be dating a 17 old and trying to force her into intercourse. The power dynamic and life experience between those two ages is night and day. Legal doesn’t equate ethical.
@@desutoron1051 nowhere in my comment did I mention the legal age of consent, nor anything about America. This isn't about that. Also, OP of the post LITERALLY stated in her story that she is a minor. Which would imply that wherever she lives, America or not, the legal age of consent is not 17. Way to miss the entire point of my comment!
Story 2: OP yes you absolutely should tell your parents, and show them the text he sent you a long way on the phone calls, if you don't feel safe and he's threatening you then this has officially gone over your head and it's time to let the adults handle this. Odds are your parents are going to be way more mad at this crap that goes around picking up teenage girls.
@@Milk-ck1wvwell in this case that would be justified the victim is an absolute idiot for being a minor and knowing they're a minor and dating someone who is not a minor I mean literally you could be 18 and date is 17 year old and probably get arrested for statutory rape or some s*** like that so clearly this person is an idiot and it's kind of their own damn fault they're in this situation for dating someone who is not a minor while they are a minor and truthfully a 17 year old should know better but clearly this person likes the intelligence to know better
@@tbnrwolff3354 dude, minors arent always the greatest in decision making and judgement, you should know this. Some go partying, do illegal underage drinking and drugs- then try to head home under said influence while driving. Of course i know it isnt for every case but minors are deemed vunerable for such things for a reason- but much like partying in a social bad crowd, they can groom you into thinking its ok, that nothing bad is going to happen, that you'll be fine, that it'll be a one time thing when in reality it wouldn't.
@@tbnrwolff3354imagine victim blaming A CHILD WITHOUT ANY EXPERIENCE IN ADULT LIFE. Your comment just tells how awful of a person you’re. Teens can have feelings for adults but it’s and ADULTS responsibility to recognize that and step back since they’re more experienced in life than a LITERAL CHILD. I hope you don’t have kids or a partner and I hope that you don’t work in a police force, in a medical field or as a psychologist.
Story 2: As a CSA victim (I was 14 when it started), I really feel for OP. My ab*ser was my own biological "grandfather." I really hope OP is okay and she got away from him. I really wish I could be there for OP to help her out of that situation. It's definitely scary for sure. People don't understand how scary it can be for children to report that behavior. I just turned 18 and I still haven't told my dad. I'm really concerned for OP. She needs to talk with a trusted adult, notify the police, and get the hell away from him.
I really hope that OP reaching out to the internet is a sign that she’s getting ready to reach out to people IRL. You’re right, situations like this are terrifying. I really hope you got the help you need. At 18 you are so much younger than me but have already dealt with so much. You are one hell of a survivor and I hope you know just how strong you are! Don’t feel obligated to tell me anything, I just hope that you are on the path to recovery and are now in a safe place.
@@lorilancaster5917This! As someone who was constantly told I'm mature for my age, that line is indictive of something negative. Either it means that person has been through an extreme amount of trauma at a young age, or it means that the person saying it is trying to gr00m.
@@lorilancaster5917 oh, I have no doubt in my mind that he did that’s what almost all groomers use “you’re so mature for your age girls like you that are my age are not as mature as you “ or “I can’t believe that you’re only 17 you’re so mature”
The niece story: The actual phrase is "The blood of the Covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Meaning, the bonds made in war are stronger than those of your family.
OP in the first story has a huge heart, he lived his life bettering himself by being a great father and a compassionate person. That's the strongest revenge ever because it benefits you and those you care about, and the person who hurt you can only sit back with regret and loss.
Except the ex isn't regretting anything. She got her ap. She got a new family. Got to keep her daughter respect and love. Got forgiven for what she did. Now, she has OP in her pocket, ready to do everything to make her life easier. Won't be long before she either gets him back or becomes a new father figure for her daughter. This isn't revenge.
@@RJLiams Firstly, you don’t know the Exes mindset. Secondly, think of his daughter. He was able to raise his daughter to be a happy and kind person and continues to show kindness which can benefit her in the future Extending a helping hand and showing that you aren’t bitter with envy is revenge in itself because you showed you’re a greater person. That’s gotta hurt the other person in some way. Plus, if later down the line the EX she truly feels bad and changes her ways permanently, then what’s the point of getting revenge in the first place?? Also don’t confuse compassion with ignorance or stupidity. Despite what i said im sure OP wouldn’t immediately run back into her arms just because he has compassion. EDIT: forgiveness also benefits you, not the person you forgave.
@rickywilliams1586 exactly he can take care of HIS daughter but never let the ex back or help her in anyway if she comes crawling back now its out of desperation not remorse or wanting to reconcile she is irredeemable garbage and even if you forgive her for your own peace taking her back is the worst mistake you could possibly make
@@vilet5257 If the ex was upset about OP being happy it would have been mentioned. Cheaters who want their ex's miserable would make that transparent with their interactions. Nothing you described is actual revenge. You're just describing a dude living his life. None of this negatively affects the ex nor does it seem it ever will. Again, the ex is got everything she wanted, and now has the OP around her finger. Guaranteeing constant help from the man she actively went out of her way to hurt. Where does the revenge kick in? Cause it seems more like the ex managed get the last laugh here. "Secondly, think of his daughter. He was able to raise his daughter to be a happy and kind person and continues to show kindness which can benefit her in the future." This could also create a problem where it's OK for people to mistreat you.
The niece's story Op isn't the wrong in the situation. Imagine hearing from a kid/teenager that she wouldn't SURVIVE if she came back home, and knowing that's probably true because OP said the girl was taking care of a bunch of kids and had a neglectful mother. It's sad that things turned out like that with the niece afterwards, but OP is not the slightest at fault for helping a kid that so badly needed it
He didn’t say she was. It’s just that as unfortunate as the situation may be she did play a role in the destruction of her family. The husband wasn’t at fault for his feelings either. He likes the kid but he said himself that they didn’t have all the funds to take care of them so he left. And at the end of the day he and his mom are the only people in Ops corner. The niece sucks
yeah, but the husband isn't wrong for jumping ship either. His desires and opinions were steamrolled and ignored. Just an overall sad situation where there are no winners. Not OP's fault the niece turned out to be just like her own mother.
OP saved niece's life by sacrificing her marriage. OP's sister is the main villian, while the niece is a damaged and hurt OP maker her a villian as well. OP's husband made his decision as well, he is not at fault her either.
I kind of agree with some of these replies that yes the husband had a right to not like the situation but I agree more with the comment I mean the niece basically messed up a family and then got upset that it's messed up and I know her mom is terrible but that doesn't mean she gets the right to be terrible as well
For the cheating sister story, there was no good way for this to come out. The delivery was blunt but honest. Considering how bad it was for OP, it's pretty understandable. The sister and the fiance are thr jerks, not OP. The family is just mad but being mad at the wrong person. They need to be mad at the cheaters. Sounds like the husband beat the crap out of the fiance too.
Legally speaking she's in the wrong for spreading revenge porn but I can understand how bad op was just not just by her ex fiance but her fucking sister too. It hurts to get cheated but when it's with a family member, specially close family it hurts even more
Second story, that age difference is already a huge red flag because this is a grown adult dating someone underage. The fact he picked her up at a gig like that is even bigger. Then that 'game' with his friend is an even bigger one still. Then that accidental text is basically *suffocating* *OP* with how in her face it is that dating this guy is going to ruin her. Going by her comments OP is scared of telling her parents and so? It's either get into trouble with her parents, get punished, learn from her mistake, and make things right over time or stay with someone that'll destroy her life for good or even worse.
"grown adult" What bullshit, there is no magic switch in human brains. Many people have the exact same mental capacities in their 20ies as in their teen years. Being over 18, doesn't grant you automatic wisdom, intelligence nor critical thinking skills. Honestly that 23 year old has done nothing that shows he has a higher mental capacity than a 13 year old~
One of the things my mom taught me when I was a child, There will come some times in your life when you have to cut some people out of your life. But just because you do that doesn't mean you have to stop loving them. Some people you have to love them from a distance.
Story 3: well if you regret posting the photos for the entire family to see then you should apologize to your family (not including your sister), but given they did that in the family house I think it's family business, your sister betrayed you along with your fiance so who cares if this is badly affecting them.
Mustache Story: Plot twist... The boss knows and wants to see how far OP will go with this. Or... The boss was also wearing a fake mustache and thinks OP's is real and is stuck wearing it now because they bonded over it.
Story 3: There's no given reason/excuse from the fiancé and sister, so I really wonder why the two decide to bang even though the sister was married and the fiancé is dating OP. Whatever it is, I'm glad OP did catch this before OP married the fiancé, because it could've been much worse
Story 1: I have no words except I'm sorry to hear that. Sure he might've had a hand to play in ruining y'alls marriage, but even death seems too extreme... Story 2: Girl... *TELL YOUR PARENTS!!!!!* 😡😡😡 Would you rather be grounded for a year or whatever or scarred for the rest of your life due to what your boyfriend *_WILL_* do to you if you don't tell them/get the help that you need right now?..... Story 3: She dodged a bullet. That's just it. Story 4: Wow...she really *_IS_* evil. Smh Story 5: Lol Edit: *_GEEEEEEEEEEZ!!!_* 206 LIKES?! 😳 Thanks, y'all, lol.
Story 2: reality is kids think in weird ways. OP was put in a situation where they essentially didn't feel safe going to anyone. Ultimately that's a failure in the parents part. I agree. Dabney really dropped the ball on the commentary on this one.
Story 2. It's hard to know what to do when you don't have life experience. Things you can do though; tell your parents, tell the police, tell the school
I just watched a video about something like this recently. It was a 22 or so year old woman who was in a relationship with a boy between 12-15 years old. The woman was posed as a 14 year old because apparently, she looked really young. When the boy eventually broke up with her, she sent videos of them “passionately hugging” to his friends and the boy told an adult at the school, and it actually worked in getting her arrested. I know it’s much easier to say than do, but I really hope OP can do the same because in my mind, I can never justify a 23 year old with a 17 year old. Plus, this man literally said he wanted to forcefully passionately hug her.
@@brokeboiiii age of consent is different everywhere, but the big issue is the forcing himself. It would work to her advantage if she is in an 18+ consent area, if she pursues anything.
@@brokeboiiii That is the problem. Is not about the age gap but the pushiness and the way he is. If he is doing this to her, he will do this to other girls. I heard a pro revenge story about a similar one but the girl not only tell her parents but also ruin the guy's opportunity on everything.
Story 4: I'm with R/, you did the right thing and no matter how your niece turns out you should be glad that you helped her when she was fearing for her life , but at the same time no one made you do I, if you want to blame anyone blame the people that didn't protect her like they should, and the family that dropped you because you cared about your niece. Then there's ex, I can't imagine how stressful everything was taking in another kid when you couldn't afford it but you know it's the right thing to do, being steamrolled by your SO matter. But that's between the two of you.
While I don’t think OP was wrong for taking niece in, I wonder if she could’ve done this through other means? Maybe OP could’ve informed CPS during time niece visited and inform them of the parentification and worries of niece’s well-being. If CPS took the matter seriously, emphasis on if, maybe then OP could keep niece and get a stipend from the state? At this point OP should let niece know the truth in the part she played in ending her marriage and or at least how ungrateful she has become and OP will not be giving her any more handouts until she starts paying back what is owed since she turned 18.
I mean you can't really blame OP though, if your niece literally told her she was going to off herself if you sent her back home? Not sure I could look at myself in the mirror if I sent a vulnerable teenager back to an abusive mother to be used as the family slave. Just sad niece turned out just like her mother.
@@darkmask5933 yeah, it is really a lose/lose situation. Does she ignore the niece? that would be beyond cruel and there is no way she could predict the apple wouldn't fall far from the tree. But I can't blame the husband either. He was against something, she steamrolled him and sacrified his happiness for her niece multiple times. He was 100 % in the right to leave that situation.
Story 2: OP needs to tell her parents, if it's safe to do so, or another trusted adult. She's the victim here. This predator is "joking" about r*ing her because she won't f* him.
The text one: RUN RUN RUN. He’s not joking, he’s just saying it’s an inside joke to test the waters and push your boundaries. Break up with him, tell him exactly why and screenshot and make a police report in case he goes further. Disappointed in rslash for not taking that obvious threat as serious as he should’ve, especially as a girl dad.
No. Breaking up with him is fine, but in this case _ghosting_ him is better - go straight to the police with that stuff. Do not block him, put him on mute to continue collecting evidence if possible. Do not let him know why you're breaking up with him or that you're going to the police - it gives him the opportunity to get rid of evidence or skip town. Also, tell your parents (if they're reasonable people who won't blame their kid.)
OP who sent the picture to the family group chat may be in legal trouble depending on her region's revenge p*rn laws. I totally understand why she did it, but she should be super careful going forward.
Hopefully, it qualifies as a crime of passion, and nothing was visible. Maybe she took a picture from the back. It sounds like they didn't notice her, so that's possible.
The story about the daughter is heartbreaking. “She’s not depressed as far as I can see” but she doesn’t understand that her behavior is screaming depression. Probably cause her parent is terrible.
Agreed, as someone with autism and being a messy home owner myself... I know my house gets messier if I am too busy, stressed or depressed. But I won't reflect that on other's homes... there I am always trying to help. But this girl...is giving up on life.
Story 3: that fiance knew the sister for only a couple days. This is the first time OP has taken her fiance to meet the family and on the same trip they went on this hike. Both of them moved incredibly fast to cheat with each other. I also found it suspicious that he wanted to stay behind with a crying woman alone. This guy just seems like a serial cheater with a fast turnover time.
Omg yes please. And at sometime it would be cool to have some AITC (am I the cloaca?) posts sprinkled in, but the ones where you can't tell that it's about an animal until the ending
Story 5: I wonder what OP is actually doing to give her daughter an incentive to change. Just talking to her clearly doesn't do much. Do not invite her and tell her exactly why. Than the daughter can choose what she wants to do.
I also wonder if OP is more judgemental than she realizes. I have a really judgemental mother. Sometimes parents can be overly critical and not realize it. Some things my own mom has done that sounds similar to op: called my hair greasy less than an hour after I washed and dried it. This is because my hair is fine and straight and it looks sleek not greasy. Her hair is coarse and thick so since my hair type is different, she equates it to "bad" or "greasy" even when it isn't. She's also called my house disgusting for my house not being immaculate. She'll come over and run her finger across a surface until she gets a tiny bit of dust and give me a look and talk about how I'm not keeping my place clean enough. She quite literally inspects my house and moves furniture and looks in closets and such too.
@@amierithIt's very possible that the mom is being overly critical but one thing I need to ask is, do you wear clothes with visible stains when out with family? Because if you don't your probably not as messy as the daughter, and if you do, perhaps you're not critical enough.
@@TheExtremeIRON obviously I don't wear clothes with stains on them out in public. My point is the mom may have a bias. A "stain" could be as simple as a tiny ink mark on the hem of her shirt that isn't noticeable, which for most people wouldn't warrant changing if you're just out getting some quick groceries or have to go quickly meet up with family or such. Of course, the girl could just be a slob, but whether or not she is really comes down to if OP isn't just being overly critical. we have to give judgment based on what we know, so I agree with the judgment. Just saying that it's possible op is just critical.
4th story: 11:30 Everyone always gets this idiom wrong. Blood is thicker than water. The correct idiom is The blood of the bond is thicker than the water of the womb. It means bonds made through experience trump those forced on you by familial ties.
No, that's not the original idiom. The shorter "blood is thick than water" is the original phrase dating back to the 12th century, while the longer phrase dates back only to the 1990s. Please, look it up and avoid spreading misinformation. At the same time, just because someone is family doesn't mean you have to deal with them if they're terrible people.
My niece story : I love spreading the correct phrase, "The blood of the covenant is thicker then the water of the womb" aka the people we choose to be our family are closer and stronger then the family born from the same baby maker. 🤡 Don't believe the bs of "blood is thicker then water"! if your family absolutely sucks, dont feel bad about dumping them and their drama and shit in the trash and choosing/making your own family. Sometimes you have to to survive ❤
People need to stop spreading this. The shorter phrase is the correct one, not the longer one. It dates back to the 12th century in German while the longer one dates back only to the 1990s and was claimed to be the original phrase by a couple of people with absolutely no proof. Though I do agree with the sentiment that just because they're family doesn't mean you have to deal with them if they're crappy people.
@@akl2k7 Thank you! I remember the new one starting up back in the 90s myself and was shocked to see people actually thinking it was the original. Like, yeah, I was going to church at the time and thought it was a cute way to use it but now I'm just sick of the fake one being used everywhere by people who clearly don't know better.
Story 2: OP, tell your parents. They might get mad at first, but you NEED an adult to protect you in this situation. This kind of "joke" isn't funny, nor is it a joke. Dark humour is fine (I do it all the time) but this is NOT dark humour. And the text is the final nail in the coffin. He is NOT joking. Considering how he pressures you, there is a high chance that he would assault you.
Some people intentionally leave their houses messy. My evil step mother who appears to be surgically attached to my father is a clean freak and will not enter my house if there is a spec of dust. So I do not have to worry about him bringing her over here ever. Its a defensive mechanism.
@randigaleandtk Yeah, there's a difference between some clutter and moldy dishes with a side of dead bugs, dirt everywhere, and a nasty smell on top of it.
shouting "RUN GIRL RUN" through the second story like an old man yelling at the TV from the moment I saw "17f" and "23m", god, I hope she gets out of that okay
2nd story: I cannot be the only one wondering why does OP feel like it's fine for her a minor to date an adult? Was she groomed? Is child marriage and those kind of relationships between adults and minors normal where she lives? What the hell is going on!
The reality is that many minors date and often (especially for girls) go for older people. They are old enough to have the want for a romantic relationship but still young enough where they don't really know exactly what to do. You cannot stop them from having feelings for someone else, be it just affection or something more. The fact that this girl is staying firm on not having any se*ual acts actually tells that she is educated, understands what are the implications of a relationship and is mature enough to have her own boundaries. She is most likely not from a country where child marriage is a widespread thing.
I dated an older guy as a teen and it was no such thing as you are describing. He was also a sleaze. She met a cute guy at her hs. She's a teen. It's pretty straightforward.
Story one. I understand op totally. My family has an unusual dynamic for the things i hear here. Backstory. When my, 31f, was 3, her dad cheated on me then dumped me in such a way that it broke my mind and left me unstable and permanently disabled. Flash to present. My granddaughter 9yo has always insisted her WHOLE family gather for her events. Her parents are split, with other partners. Such gatherings include me, my ex, his wife, his other diverse grown kids. My daughter, her partner, their kids, his parents and grandma. Daughters ex(kids bio dad) his wife, her daughter, their daughter, step moms mom and grandma, bio dads mom and her partner. And no blood is ever spilled. Step kids half sibs etc. Every kid is loved, every grandma is grandma to all. Its good. Love you Dabney. Thanks for the stories. ❤❤❤
Story Two: OP's BF is giving off major red flags, AND this is also a case of peer pressure and probably grooming! I mean, a 23 year old man with a 17 year old teen! That's a seven year difference! ALSO, there's laws about not dating minors! And PLEASE, don't give me this "Well 17's close to adult age!" BS. But the way BF is treating OP, peer pressuring her into having sex AND making threats if he doesn't get what he wants... OP, you NEED to tell your parents. What the BF's doing IS a literal crime! Dating a minor AND threats of r*pe! They care about you and would WANT to protect you from someone as manipulative and controlling as this 23 year old creepy predator! NOW that you know what his true colors are, you have the chance to tell your parents and have that scumbag sent to prison. Story Four: The Niece's Mother IS evil! Who treats their kids with neglect and use the oldest as a personal caretaker/nanny to her other kids!? Like SERIOUSLY! If you bring your kids into the world, either be a responsible parent and take care of your kids, or give them up for adoption so the kids can have an ACTUAL loving home! I honestly believe OP's not at fault here. Her Ex Husband's the one who felt "Steamrolled". If his kids were in a situation like the Niece, would he want one of his family members to take them in or not? While OP did jump the gun and not talk to her husband about the idea of taking her niece in, I really think the Ex should've seen things from the Niece's POV.
@@dr3wbis not only are you a lame copypaste troll under every thread, you're ALSO WRONG. R&J laws apply to relationships with a THREE year age difference. she is NOT legally allowed to consent and the sexual things he wants from her ARE inherently illegal. if you're the boyfriend from the story, you can just say that.
11:30 The saying "Blood is thicker than water" is actually the shortened version. The full version is "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Which means that chosen bonds are more significant than the bonds with family or "water of the womb."
Story 2: tell parents, ring police and break up... at best sounds like an unhealthy situation at worst he's a predator neither is good so get out whilst you can
The only thing to do with story 2 is confess what she's been doing with this guy to the parents and they go to the police. And text back "oh yeah, I'm gonna go to the cops, since threatening to r*** a minor is a crime".
No, don't text him that, that's something only a silly tween would think is smart. *You **_never_** give the perp a heads up.* That gives them the opportunity to get rid of any evidence, come up with a story to explain the text as a "joke made in poor taste", or they might just skip town. The smart thing is to put him on mute to continue collecting evidence, go the parents (hoping they are reasonable and won't blame her), and go to the cops.
They didn't say, but I'm guessing the bf in story 2 meant to sent that text to his buddy but sent it to op by mistake. Why else would he have wrote it in the 3rd person?
Last story, man I would wear the moustache the day after to see if he finally notices if it's fake or say it's an coping mechanism for moustache-lessness
Ok, I wish rslash had gone a little more in depth at the end of the story about the 17 and 23 year olds, but I can understand if he doesn’t have as much experience with age gap relationships. I have personal experience (though online for a majority of the relationship) being with someone at least 4 years older than myself, only I was in middle school and he was a junior in high school. The relationship was not pretty after the first 6 months. It started hypersexual but again that was because it started online. I almost consider myself lucky that I didn’t meet him in person until after I became an adult, but if I could take it all back I would. I was influenced by the culture of “Oh my boyfriend’s older and in college which is cool and makes me feel more mature than I actually am.” I’d like anyone who may be in a similar situation to know, unless your relationship with them is rocky, tell your parents what’s going on. Or at the very least a guardian you can trust. You never know if you’re just dealing with an overgrown child, or a seriously dangerous predator that just wants to hurt you. Now that I’m in my twenties and have been in a strong relationship for almost 3 years, my relationship with my own parents has greatly improved now that I don’t keep things hidden. I can share the happiness I feel from my partner with my mother and we’ve never been closer despite physical distance. Know that you’re valuable, resilient, and you should never be made to feel uncomfortable in a romantic relationship 🥺💕
Yes. People being against these types of age gap relationships isn’t saying that the younger partner isn’t “mature” enough, they are saying that there is something wrong with the older partner 9 times out of 10. If you cannot talk to your parents, talk to a family member or teacher or even another teen you trust. Do not try and deal with this alone. Hell, even reaching out to the internet if that’s all you have is a good first step. But also, you can just go straight to the cops. Don’t ever be alone with him or with his friends ever again. As a teen you are learning how to be independent and your determined to do it “right” to prove you’re ready to be an adult, but the secret is, even grandparents don’t do everything right. I really hope that everyone in a situation like this has someone they can reach out to and that pride and/or fear (justifiable) doesn’t stop them.
Story 3: I don't think OP did anything wrong. "A picture says more than a thousand words." With that picture no more words where needed and no explanations as well. And as far as OP said, everyone in the group chat was an adult.
I think R Slash said something really wise in the third story about the niece. You can do something that is not wrong, and still have consequences. Because all actions have consequences. And positive actions don't necessarily equal positive consequences. That's just kind of important to know in life.
Why is OP more uspet with the affair partner more than his wife? She is the one who cheated so you need to be upset with her not him. He did what she allowed him to do.
He sounds like he was equally pissed at the both of them but seeing how his ex is the mother of his child, makes more sense emotionally to wish ill of the AP. Thankfully OP didn’t let his hate consume him which others have in these stories.
The full quote is actually "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" meaning those who fight by your side have more value, whoever they are.
That's not the original quote, and it only dates back to the 1990s, while the shorter version dates back to the 12th century. Still, that doesn't mean you should have to deal with crappy family just because you're related. The phrases aren't gospel, anyway.
Story 4: this sounds almost like that one story about OP having to care for her husband’s autistic niece which lead to a lot of problems The husband tried to trapped OP from misplacing her passport to hiding her car keys That it lead to OP kicking out the niece and husband out the house and husband try to patch things up with OP even saying that he’ll surrender the niece to foster care or the system But OP SNAP and furiously said that the niece wasn’t the problem it was the husband Because husband pulls the niece into their lives without telling OP and doing all that crap I mentioned above OP divorced him because she can’t trust him So basically what I’m getting at is the husband in that story is kinda similar to OP in story 4 Because they are both thinking their nieces are the problem the reason why their marriage was DESTROYED!
I always hate when family uses that "blood is thicker than water" line, as it is always when someone is trying to manipulate you. I like to remind them that the full quote is "blood is thicker than the water of the womb".
For the Daughter story: I have a feeling there are some missing missing reasons. Like I have a feeling OP was one of those super strict parents that forced their kids to be clean but not in the healthy way. In the "You gotta shower 10 times a day" kind of way. And thus the daughter is rebelling cause filth and grime is her freedom since she was probably forced to shower and stuff a lot as a kid. IDK that's just my theory on this.
Rlsash, you okay? I posted on someone else’s comment thinking you might need a break, and I wanted to make sure you somehow saw that. Your frustration with people is coming out again, so maybe it’s time for a nice long break for Christmas? That second story with the minor dating an older guy and your reaction finally made me want to say something. I hope you’re doing alright emotionally and that you take your breaks when you need them ❤
I don’t think story 2 is a “just break up with him situation” cause if that is his plan and he at least knows where she goes to school… I think this is a call the cops situation.
Last story: those rare moments where something you are certain is an episode from a 90s sitcom comes to life. There's not really much more to say just do what that comment said.
In my head, the interviewer also had a fake mustache on due to the same reason, and both are now too scared to admit that their mustache is fake in fear of coming off as weird
Sending it to the chat is hilarious. 12:01 op has a niece, that niece says she’s not gonna survive to 18 because of something and wants to rather live with op. What the fuck was op supposed to do if the niece didn’t reveal herself as a terrible person yet
Bro wtf. Imagine if your wife said she didn’t want to take in your family member to stop them from *literally killing themself.* She SHOULD steamroll through her husband because there is a lot at stake. It’s not that he’s being unreasonable in his concerns, but he’s worried about money, and she’s worried about loss of life. Those two are not equivalent. The problem isn’t the niece or OP, or even the husband, but the toxic family members.
Just because she did the right thing doesn't mean there wouldn't be devastating consequences. God/Karma/whatever is supposed to reward people for doing the right thing and punish them for doing wrong, but in my 55 years I've never seen it happen.
@@dr3wbis No, no they are not. The emotional and moral weight behind not wanting to spend more money to support a family member vs supporting them for the sake of their crumbling mental health are not even remotely in the same neighborhood.
Niece story, how are you going to ignore that and not take in your niece? It wasn’t OPs fault it was just a bad situation. Also the saying is Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water if the womb meaning the bonds we choose to form are stronger than the ones we are born with. Family doesn’t mean they’re good for you as we all know hearing R/ stories
4th story: while not related to the story itself the saying OP quoted (blood is thicker then water) was deliberately shortened to change the meaning entirely, exactly like "curiosity killed the cat" which is meant as a cautionary tale to NOT stick your nose where it doesnt belong, the original quote is "curiosity killed the cat ... BUT satisfaction brought it back" which is clearly implying that sating ones one curiosity might be dangerous on occasion but its worth it. back to the saying op quoted "blood is thicker then water" the original/full quote is "blood SHED ON THE BATTLEFIELD is thicker then THE WATER OF THE WOMB" the altered saying implies that blood relations trump everything in terms of importance while the original implies that you have more obligation to those who went through hardships with you then you have to relatives because blood is just a set of genes that happen to match yours but the people who went with you through hardships CHOSE to do that and to support you (and be supported by you)
No, "Blood is thicker than water" is the original quote and dates back to the 12th century, while longer versions came much later. There's no evidence that the longer version is the original,
@@kingpaladin5591terrible people (often stalkers or other criminals) - people share stories about creeps etc that they would not want to meet again. It’s always strangers with a few exceptions
@@kingpaladin5591basically it's stories of people who have had such terrible interactions with creepy or dangerous people that they wish to not meet again. For example a disaster date that ended with a stalker.
Story 4 (niece story): it should be noted that the phrase “blood is thicker than water” is incomplete. The true phrase is “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” - basically the people who show up for you are more family than biological family. Edit - I’ve been corrected in the replies. Apologies, it’s still early and pre-caffeine here.
No, everyone is wrong. "Blood is thicker than water" is the complete saying and dates back to the 12th century while the longer phrase goes back only to the 1990s. Still, the sentiment is good. Just because someone is family doesn't mean you have to deal with them if they're terrible people. I just wish people would stop saying the longer version was the original, because it's not.
@@akl2k7 according to my research, the 12th century saying seems to be about how the blood of Christ is thicker than the water of nature (this is a paraphrase). So I’m not sure if the 90s expansion is a correction to reflect the original intent or something else. Regardless, this is interesting to learn and thank you for including it.
When I was in high school one of my friends was dating her neighbor, who was ten years older - a man in his twenties dating an underage teenage girl. I actually remember asking her why she was with a guy so much older than her (who also had a strange relationship dynamic with his mother...kind of Seymour/Agnes Skinner vibes...or Norma/Norman Bates). Said mother was against their relationship, but not because she thought the age-thing was inappropriate, but because she didn't like my friend's religious beliefs (which was that she wasn't particularly religious at all). It put a lot of strain on my friend's mental health, because she'd get upset that her boyfriend kept flip-flopping on their relationship, because "mother [didn't] approve". And she was driving herself half-crazy to please him. Thankfully, she went to see a therapist, who helped her realize how inappropriate the whole relationship was and after just a few sessions, she dumped him for good and we (her friends and her) even had a get together to celebrate afterwards - she was the happiest I had ever seen her.
13:26 people can mask mental health issues very very well and her mental issues don't have to be just depression it can be adhd, bipolar, narcissism , schizoaffective things like that
Story 3: Sending an explicit photo of someone without their consent is revenge porn, even if they cheated. It's not just "technically" wrong, it's wrong: point blank. Even if you think cheaters "deserve" it -- and, to be clear, no one deserves to be violated in that way -- what happens in circumstances like in a previous reddit thread, where it turned out that the "cheating" boyfriend was high out of his mind, thought the other person was his girlfriend, and was basically being assaulted? No one deserves revenge porn. Not even cheaters. Not even criminals. Not even politicians you dislike. Just no one. Showing the photo to the sister's husband is providing him evidence of infidelity, akin to what a private eye might do. Sending it to your whole family group chat is just wrong. RSlash, I know you always come down disproportionately hard on cheaters and have kind of a blind spot around them. (In the past, you've defended parents using their kids against a cheating partner, and you've defended parents punishing/excommunicating their kids for not "taking a side" in a divorce with a cheating partner -- both of which I hope you now know are wrong, as you're now a parent yourself.) But this is wrong, full stop, and even the OP knows it. What she should be doing is going around to her family members and asking them all to delete the photo if they saved it (other than the husband, who may need it as evidence for a divorce proceeding), to try and at least somewhat undo what she did.
In the world of swimming and rescuing there is an important rule: Do not attempt to save someone that is in a situation beyond your abilities to handle. Otherwise the life guards, or other professionals now will have one more person to rescue. The niece needed to be rescued, but OP's family was not equipped to do that rescue.
The saying blood is thicker than water is only part of the saying. It's really "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb." Meaning the friendships you make are stronger than the family you are born with.
First story: Me and my family is almost in the exact same position. Though my little-half brother's dad didn't die, he just kinda became a deadbeat. My dad is a great sport about it though and though he doesn't love my half-brother like his own, he still loves him and are on good terms with my mom. We're all gonna spend Christmas together this year actually!
re: 4'th story, the line "blood is thicker than water" is always mistranslated, it truly means "the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" or the group you chose to be in is a stronger bond than the group you had no say in sometimes.
Even though what OP said at the beginning of story 2 meant that he was probably joking I still think she sould still end things with him. Hopefully he will learn that saying those things is dangerous and these are the consequences even if you're joking it's not funny. Also pressuring her to put out is really bad. "If you dod t have sex with me you don't love me" if a guy says anything related to that then I hope you dump him ASAP. Depending upon how shy the girl is even just trying to get close to where her boundaries are makes me feel like a jerk and this guy just kept trying to brake her boundaries. Please run girl.
the neice could prolly benefit from therapy. sounds like she had a troubled childhood, potentially experienced trauma. no wonder she was a handful to raise - theres always a reason kids are acting out. i think the op and husband/ex were not prepared to take in a child who needed more attention and help, even tho op has a good heart and felt she needed to help. the neice could greatly benefit from therapy and working on healing.
@@benjaminwehmer8441 You know how rSlash sometimes asks for video material from something that happened in Reddit story and offers to pay for it? Well he asked video from minor girl who recorded her 17 years old bf doing adult stuff with her mom. Not 100% sure if it was her mom, but the boy was still 17 in the video and rSlash asked to buy it from her.
After those heavy stories, the fake mustache one was just what I needed to cheer me up. Even though it didn't go as intended, for some reason I just find it so wholesome. I hope OP gives an update if they do the "shave it off" approach, I'd love to hear if it went down like that commenter said!
Given all the weird and small things you get over the top annoyed about. The fact you think sending what acquaints to revenge porn (which is illegal) to people not involved with the affair is a little disturbing.
I really hope OP 2 talks to her parents. I know she's embarassed, and she's worried about their reaction, but she needs to let them know what's going on. This guy is a predator. Adults who are willing to date minors, even if they say they're okay with just having an emotional relationship, are really only looking for one thing. This story is evidence of that. OP needs to get help from an adult.
Niece story: She took a child in. A depressed child. She was manipulated by a teenager who got spoiled. It's not OP fault she fell for it. Although it is her fault she ruined her whole marriage over it
Rslash this is one of the few times im gonna disagree with you. The niece said she wouldn't live to see 18 if she went back home. A child's threats or accusations of being threatened get taken VERY SERIOUSLY. OP didn't ask for the divorce. OP didn't ask to be treated so horribly by her niece after taking her in. You really need to look more at the pain OP is feeling.
@@JunMinami You can do something nice and suffer consequences for it. That is this reality. She tried to help and received the consequences by pushing her husband’s boundaries and investing in a person who ended up not caring.
@@smolboi1222 It's sad but you are absolutely right. Doing something nice for one person might be horrendous for another. In this case she just... decided to help a person who has no care for her after all she's done, that's why I'm sad for her really :( I won't blame her husband either, he has boundaries and those are valid. But I can't but take a suicide threat like that girl did seriously. My... cousin did that back in the day, and she wasn't heard. And well. Now she's no longer with us. I guess this story just hits a little close to home to me ^^'
Why is a 17 year old dating a 23 year old? Idc how "mature" you think you are, if you're a minor and someone in their 20s wants to date you, that is a huge red flag. Date people your own age.
I completely agree with this. It's possible OP has some trauma like maybe her parents neglect her emotionally and when a kid is emotionally neglected, they can get extremely desperate when someone shows them affection. It may not be a case of OP thinking she's mature, she might just be desperate. It's a yucky situation for sure and OP needs out before this situation ever started. In no way is a 23 year old dating a 17 year old acceptable.
@@dr3wbis The law doesn’t always govern with morality, they’re very different ages developmentally. If you’re an adult man and want someone with the mind of a teenager you’re a weirdo
Story 4: Blood of the covenant is thicker than water of the womb. Family means nothing if they don't treat you with the love and respect you deserve, and that niece is awful.
It's not the original quote, just in case you think it is. Still, I agree with your sentiments. Just because someone is family doesn't mean you have to deal with them if they're terrible people.
Born in the 80’s here, and when he said “METHED-UP situation” I heard it in the Mike Tyson voice. It reminded me of Mike Tyson jokes from my childhood.
I was wondering what made the niece so evil, but then I saw how she grew up. Yikes. (Not that I blame her too much though as she came from a very broken home.)
