Re-Upload: Enneagram The High Low Side Of Type 8 

Recently discovered I am an 8, after literally 5 years of believing I was a 5 because I was unhealthy mentally. Thank you so much for helping me understand myself!

“Fearing you and loving you is not the same thing” As an 8, I wasn’t gonna comment on ANY of this ....but then I heard that line. You got me. 🧐

I’m an 8, feels so good not be alone, I assumed i was broken. I hope we all get what we need. THANK YOU!

Meekness is restrained power. Weakness is no power.

Thanks a lot for these videos. It help me, as a 8, to understand why I went in burn out and identify how unhealthy I was.

I'm an 8w7 and this video has literally changed my life. Thank you so much for taking your time to make this. Your videos have been of incredible guidance & encouragement. I really respect your wise perspectives on life. Please continue to make more videos about type 8s

For this 8, one of the best pieces of advice I hear from you and that has turned out to be one of the hardest things for me to do is to pause! Pausing is so unnatural and almost impossible for me to do especially when I'm in the midst of a high emotion of any kind. Pause. Pause. Sure. lol

I spent a while in stress and in mentally unhealthy states, moving to 5, being withdrawn, cold, detached, distant and disconnected, and I was so familiar with that state that I and some others thought I was a 5, but looking back I was bullied and felt emotionally unstable, and being cold and disconnected and withdrawn is not the real me. I'm more open, fiery, action oriented, energetic and impulsive and wanting to make an impact.

I’ve spent half this video talking with you 😂. The accuracy. I shouted, “amen!” Several times.

You better preach, good sir! You are 🗣 TEACHING to-day!!! 👏🏾 👏🏾

Amazing video! Felt like I just learned a lot about myself. Also; I really enjoyed watching until the last minute of the video. Your speaking skills are incredible!

Whew! For the most part, I am a healthy 8 (years of yoga/meditation/inner work). But I have an in-laws situation that is not healthy and almost toxic and everything you said about going to 5 in a hard way, right down to my attitude toward these family members as, "PEACE OUT"...man, that rings so true! There is still work I need to do!

Dr. Lahue, what are your thoughts on 8 going to 5 when their environment is toxic? As an example, when I lived with my father (a fairly unhealthy 8w9), I (8w7) would fight with him and reached a point where I realized that it was futile. He made life for my mother and I a living hell. I relied on 5 so much that for years I thought I was a 5. It wasn't until I got out of that situation that my natural vitality reamerged. Going to 5 was a survival mechanism for me.

Great insights and content. Keep it up!

Omg. I retreat to a 5 This is me! And apathy crawls in, and I turn COLD.

This a true representation for an 8 myself. This was almost scary accurate.

I am an 9 w 8, and so much of what you said, I can relate to, and honestly my wing 8 only comes out if their is an injustice or a misunderstanding or something that would cause damage to ourselves or others, and in a family or organization, people often throw the 9 in to help solve problems and reach for understanding, or sometimes the, 9 throw themselves in, because they realize that this misunderstanding or problem will lead to the dominos effect... As the 9w8 gets older, we get a little smarter and wiser, and we learn how to protect ourselves, when we are helping in difficult, high intensity situations, and we develop better judgment on if we should get involved or not , we don’t let people push us consciously or unconsciously... we learn to protect ourselves first... thank you so much for making these video, I have learned so much, and I am able to better help my family and friends, as I learn more and more everyday...

Hmm, I thought 8s were moral crusaders. Your example of stealing your sisters clothes didn’t resonate with me, as you’re right. I don’t want people stealing my stuff. However, as a moral crusader it would be very hypocritical if I were to go take others things. This type of thing is super black and white for me, which I felt is core to an 8.

So helpful! I have been in 5 mode for so long.... Even thought I was a 5 till I heard your daughter talk about 8. Thanks!!!

Wow. This is so incredibly insightful. I am a four and my partner is an 8. You are so spot on with your descriptions.

My spouse is an 8 (I am a 5) and I really enjoyed learning more about his high and low side. Thank you for these videos! They are super helpful and I appreciate how you explain everything so well.

Thanks for the very detailed info of the Enneagram. It’s so informative and help us to understand ourselves and others. 😍👍🏻🌈🌈 you re awesome 👏

Just listened for the second time and this time I took notes. I've only recently started learning about the Enneagram, and I have found it so helpful in understanding my husband of 25 years, who is very, very 8. I've seen the worst and the best of him and every point you made about 8s applies to him. It has been like finally taking the back of the watch off and seeing all the gears move. I am so much more appreciative of his strengths, weaknesses, vulnerabilities, and motivations. I feel like I understand more of the why behind his actions. By the way, I had a lot of trouble figuring out his type at first. Tests were not helpful at all. He was testing as 1 and 5 equally. I'm a 1 so I knew that wasn't right! Just reading the descriptions, I thought he was a 6 because he is so fiercely loyal, prone to anxiety, and full of contradictions. Listening to this made me realize that he is an 8 under stress. The big tip-off for me in deciding between 8 and 6 was the anger vs. fear piece. Hope this is helpful to someone.

I definitely take action and be defensive after being hurt and I do have a hard time trusting people. Thank you for sharing this information it is helpful.

Best enne 8 video on highs and lows!

Thanks Dr Tom. I am an 8 and two of my closest friends (who I spend heaps of time with) are a 7 and a 9 (my wings). The woman I wanted to marry (and a past long time best friend) was a 5 and I live with my mum who is a 2. My Dad is a 7 and my sister is a 6. My brother is a 3 (and an impressively great 3 at that). Learning about the Enneagram (over the past 5 years) has enlightened me and empowered me. Often people are completely astounded by my Enneagram insights and I strive to let them know that my knowledge and passion come from studying the Enneagram and by trying to listen to the divinely patient "still small voice" of Holy Spirit. My favourite application of the Enneagram comes by combining it with the redemption offered in accepting the salvation of God. That being offered through divine grace of Spirit becoming "flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone". For me (as a Catholic) that is exemplified best in the person Jesus The Christ. I also openly acknowledge that I find it too in all belief systems (including our beautiful - much loved and treasured - brothers and sisters The Atheists and Agnostics). The love of God is not confined to one group or tribe or religion. I love to acknowledge the redemption process in people by referring to the Enneagram. Can you please tell me - has much work been done on explaining how Christian redemption effects the Enneagram? I like to say to people "when you are accepting your redemption you act in these ways and when you refuse (or simply cannot accept) your redemption you act in these other ways. I find using the "redeemed" language far more empowering and educational for people than "integration and dis-integration". Although when some understandably find redemptive language too "churchy" integration and disintegration work just fine (as truth is truth). I also love to tell people that my insights and understanding are simply observations of what people already are. I don't have to teach people anything new about themselves for they are already being themselves. The only new teaching or revelation is encouraging people to observe and reflect on their own redemption. That is - that everyone is in the process of being sanctified or redeemed in ways they can easily accept or reject. Pointing out people's specific strengths and their particular subjective annoyances has won many people over to acceptance of the wisdom offered in Enneagram. Once that intimate relating has been done it serves as a foundation, or a conduit, or a doorway to further personal growth (especially when facing up to our unredeemed shadowy beliefs and habits). Dr Tom, has there been any work done in combining, or parallel teaching, of The Motivational Gifts (or the members of the Body of Christ) and Enneagram types? Do you have anything to say about this? I often wonder if the great Apologist and meek Evangelist St Paul learned of Enneagram from his understanding of the Mystery Religions and applied the truths found there to the emerging Church, Then ascribing the Body of Christ to having many parts with their specific gifting and blessing and teaching that "one part should not say to the other parts "I am more significant than you". Let me end by saying I can clearly see that you too are a work in progress. The Enneagram is an emerging evolving belief system and we are all some what stumbling through it. As St Paul so brilliantly observed "we see in part. We know in part. We prophesy in part". And "we see through a glass darkly". The greatest aspect, or personal ministry, of the Enneagram is telling people "I too am a work in progress. I too am struggling to accept my divine redemption. Please let us support one another in our strengths and weaknesses". Bless you Dr Tom. May you find in life that you are like the patriarch Joseph - that whatever "the world meant for evil God meant for good". Cheers mate - alex in Perth Western Australia

Thank you for your channel It is helping me, tremendously!

How in the world have 6 people not liked this video enough to actually dislike? These are awesome. You capture each type very well in my opinion. Perhaps others are not as ready to address their outhouse behavior.

I’m an 8w7 and this was so so accurate! ✨ Thank you!!

OMG. I’d like to have a “Pause” button like the Staples brand “that was easy” button! As an 8, I can attest to how hard it is to pause…. Our natural drive is green light or red light. We need the yellow light! Thank you Tom Lahue for bringing kindness to this and all your type discussions.🙏🙏

Beautiful video, thanks for your advices ;)

wow im grateful for this video thank you

What you say about going to 5 really sounds more like 8w7. 8w9 under stress would behave very differently, ie isolate deliberately and avoid people because the world is dangerous. Maybe even lean on escapism through books, entertainment, pornography, addiction, etc. It's becoming a hermit because one can't stand (the inevitable pain/futility from interacting with) people.

For so many years I was an unhealthy 8. A fortress! Because of my addiction of 25 years. Isolation. Solitude. I’m just now learning 5 weeks into my sobriety that I love my healthy 8!! I love visiting the outhouse from time to time but I will not live or spend the night there anymore Thank you so much for this godly insight. I’m so excited to see what’s next for me and those I love ❤️

So incredibly informative. Thanks pastor 😁

Good information! Thank you for sharing.

I’m very 8 and 7:10 completely against my thoughts, feeling, and behaviors. I lend others my stuff but I never use what’s not mine.

I totally loved this. My son is an 8 and I'm a 5. You hit the nail on the head.

Great info presented in an interesting manner.

This video is amazing. I am a 9, married to an 8. At work, I also have an 8 as a boss, and an 8 reporting to me (among a 6, 5, 3, and 2). So this helps a lot to understand and love 8s even more. Blessings!

Hahaha how endearing that of all growth paths, 8s' is about being vulnerable, soft and be more loving.

The accuracy when talking about taking stuff from people and expecting them to have to stand up for themselves otherwise tough luck! 😂

This really helped me trusting myself as an eight! Graditud and love ;-)

Well done!

This is so awesome to come across I was looking up information on a few things people have been recently asking if I have ever gotten diagnosed with. Idk if it was rude but it really opened my eyes and I was thankful more than anything thinking I had extreme OCD and just always on the go couldn’t help myself than bad days wouldn’t want to even get out of bed or see anyone at all. The test says I am a 8 but I tend to always borrow from 7 and 9. I never thought to talk to a doctor about it as I was so used to just being how I am. It wasn’t until I started a new job after 13 years at one place with people who knew me how I was and my up and downs silent days and super happy ones. This new job I have been asked 4x in a matter of almost 2 months of being there. I am now researching the brain types and I hope to be able to finally get the correct help to live and feel normal life and not always feel how I do now as it is a blessing but a curse. Thank you! It is nice to see so many others commenting knowing I am not alone I felt so alone.

If I'm swearing, I'm usually in pain and swearing helps alleviate that pain.

I loveeeee your videos!!!!!!!!❤️❤️❤️

This is spot on

This is so me. I was forced to be a wallflower by others my whole life who would rather read or listen to music than play with the other kids, and was very angsty (but not hateful-more like they weren’t worth my time and why bother after I was picked on for no reason) toward my classmates who misunderstood me, but they wouldn’t recognize me today-an extrovert circus acrobat who loves being onstage and gets along with most people as long as I’m not being micromanaged.

Life changing

Excitedly waiting for “relationships for type 8”

Wow nice video thanks for sharing.

everything used to feel like a threat 😰

100% true. Wow i am even shocked!

I think my seven cabin is the fun zone of the house where we got the TV and kitchen and couches for fun and relaxation, My two house is the connecting house in back that I go to once in a while like for payday and parties to celebrate, The five house is my study room with all my books and notes where I end up spending probably most of my time (for better or worse), and the nine? My nine cabin is empty. It's like the old rusty shack in the corner of the backyard that has spiders and cobwebs in it that no one ever goes in.

Thanks!!!!

OMG I laughed so much about how you described me - we are so harsh on others as well as ourselves. I am the picture of an 8 lol. Thank you

thank you !!

I'm fairly certain my boss is an 8, in a healthy way. But I have seen the unhealthy side exactly as you describe. Spot on about the fort/betrayals, the directness, rule breaking, loudness etc. Even the withdrawal. But they will go to the ends of the earth for you if you're in their fortress, just as you describe. I'm a 5 but sometimes actually feel myself stepping into 8-ness at times. We actually make a great team, as strange as it sounds. It just works somehow.

Amazing 🎉thank you ❤

There have been times that I've stayed "in the outhouse" for several years at a time.

I become very generous when I’m healthy and needing to help and give 😹

Im an 8w7. If I feel like my emotionally self is in danger I will blunty say "Bye" because I don't want the other person to decide on the outcome of the argument

8s, how do you cope with situations when your close person smokes a lot and eats only sweets? Until I knew about enneagram I was very directed because I can't sleep when I know that my loved one is spoiling their life and I literally couldn't relax until I "helped" them. Okay, telling them to do 30 berpis everytime I smelled Sigarettes was too much (too 8), I got it, I can learn on my mistakes. But how to fall asleep knowing that everything is bad? Sometimes I want to isolate myself somewhere in a desert to rest from people's pain and problems and victim behavior, but I couldn't get a vacation so I feel very anxious right now and I need an advice how to forget about problems which can't be solved right now?

"Pause " - my worse anemy. WHEN someone tales me to take a pause..i hate him. I really feel i havent do anything. I thout i was a 7. Now i am convinced i am an 8. The only type i refuse to be. The thing is that i never see in me that power. But i know the game whit giving and taking back the power. That's my secret wapon.🙄🙄

Hey imma 8 i really need some help mentally i really related to this im currently 15 and ive been through so much childhood trauma to much to explain but more then most adults been through i know and im currently in type 5 i used to be so exited not worried leader now im to calm stuck peaceful/stressed and my adopted parents always ask me how u doin etc i always respond with “i dont know” i just feel like im to deep and stuck in 5 and i wanna get out so bad but im so stressed and everything like im literally trying not to cry typing this ( id appreciate any help or tips) pls help me

My immediate reaction to people touching my things is fury. I do however desire to not be a massive hypocrite so I try to be as forgiving as possible with people I like touching my things. If I don't like you, don't touch any of my stuff with anything you don't wanna lose. :)

“Everybody else’s point of view is incompetent, stupid.” It’s true though!😁. A true 8 here. I’m trying....

forreal I be so domering when I’m treated I would try to break out and get in my power. I would not allow any kind of power other person can have over me so I overpower this person

Thanks! I am an 8 parenting an 8!

I’m a 5 dating an 8, and was really excited about hearing that my top of the hill is 8, now I feel bad that I may be bringing my partner down:(

Wow! Big take away: 1. "Pause" and 2. "You don't live in the outhouse." SNAP!!

8w7 I spend a lot of time in my outhouse. Lol! F#@! And he's right, when I'm in there, no one wants to play with me.

I’m the only real 8 here, suck it all y’all! 😂 start something

As a 9w1 (also INFP) daughter of an 8 (ISTJ), being inside of the fort isn't that easy either. I always feel like my mom would do anything for me and at the same time it's like I don't even belong to this fort....

Just found out I am a 8 Really helps make sense of my personality and events in my life ! YHWH bless y Shalom B’shem Yeshua HaMoshiach Elohenu ⚔️🕎⚔️

"Dont listen to this thinking wow how terrible we are!" Me actually thinking proudly " I know I am fuc*ing powerful"

8w9 here. If they talk , they get anything 100% guarantee . If they don't, well i'm gonna be sorry for it after they talk.

How can you help a partner 8 when they are needing help but won't admit it to themselves in an attempt to prove they don't need anybody ?

Ha! I am a 6 and you have gained more of my trust by using the word magazines instead of clips.👍🤨

Thought I was a 3 because I was the hero child in a dysfunctional family first born this is who I truly am so sad we don’t even know ourselves

As an 8, I really understand what you said at 16:00. You gotta show that they can't do it again. Thank God my girlfriend is a 9. She's my paper. I can bend her in the way I need. I can dance any song with her. She's really flexible. I think a 9 is the best person to have in a relationship to an 8.

8+5 will i b a loner 4life?

Did your daughter take a test, or you just can tell shes an 8? You do know us. Here's an easy example of vengence taken. Somebody cut in line in front of me at the store recently and rather than just letting it go and going with the flow, I felt immediately compelled to speak up and say Excuse me, there's a line here, and he said, oh sorry and then I felt a little bad, but somebody had to speak up ha

Is it possible that women 8 feels her partly an male because she is so independet en strong?

Can you do a series on enneagram types at a bar?

I’m an 8 and reached out 😂😂😂

H.O.L.Y SH** . this is me to a terrifying 😳 tee ! 😳 Speech 💬 less ! Thank You!♡ New Subscriber

Can a 8w7 SP in a bad space or underdeveloped come off as arrogant, be boastful, selfish, self-centered, really only have time for who can benefit them? Don't associate with others who they feel are beneath them or not in a position of power or who are highly-esteemed by others that can be used as an instrument to get them even further above others?

Hi. My name is Tonya. I’m on my friend’s account. She’s a 4, and I’m an 8. She urged me to watch your videos. I was very impressed with your take on 4s, but was a little taken aback with some things you said around the 14:15-25:16 mark. You said that 8s believe that managing people is “non-sense.” Many great leaders are/were 8s. As an 8, myself, I am at my best as a leader. You also mentioned that 8s are more concerned with taking revenge when others “trespass” against us as individuals. That could not be more inaccurate. Everything I’ve read has taught me that 8s are interested in protecting those who can’t (not won’t) protect themselves. This fits my personality 100%. Am I misunderstanding your comments? I’m eager to hear your point of view on this matter. Thanks.

“How to conquer the world in their basement.” 😆

8s don't just disintegrate one way. They disintegrate to 5 and 2, while also integrating to both 5 and 2. This is a misconception most all of the main enneagram teachers have cleared up lately.

I tested as an 8 but this doesn’t sound like me.

2 in ...don't really know why people are intimidated!

This shit so helpful

Can a soft side of an 8 be a 4 instead of a 2?

Surely how the 8 acts depends on how they were brought up. If we are taught to respect other people’s property and rights in childhood, that should be normal. unfortunately as an old person, I see an upcoming society of entitled wimpy snowflakes, or is that me being a harsh 8?

Lol. My mom is a 8, and im Bob

I have 4 with 8 in my tritype I’m an actual terminator lmfaoo. Ion think I had to grow up fast tho

Why can't I choose in advance? I am able only to react. I am trying, but this hippy dippy bullshit is hard.