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Too true. I almost killed myself just over a year ago, and no one knew I was struggling. I seemed like the happiest person even when I made jokes saying things like "well this sucks. I'm just gonna go home and kill myself now" just because I always seemed happy when saying it. Only one person reached out to help me, and even they didn't really think I was actually struggling until I outright told them.
Proper hit me in the feels :( I totally relate to wearing a mask and leaving easter eggs I play though conversations I have had with someone at work after and think why did I just say that and then half hoping they pick up on them but on the other hand not wanting them to question it
It’s strange because seeing you better now I can notice a difference between the two videos. Although if I had just seen the old videos of you when you was poorly I would of not noticed, it’s sad to think people can be having such a hard time yet conceal it so well
I know it’s very interesting though! I truly believe that my friends and family had no idea and only now, in hindsight, are there little snippets that I pick up on!
When you talked about dropping easter eggs, it really made me realise, that I've been doing the same for years. I've always seen myself as the master of hiding everything. When in reality, I really didn't do that good of a job. When I look back, I see some part of me trying to break through my illness, by dropping hints like a form of cry for help. It just really shows, that you can be so captivated by everything that's going on, and not realising what actually comes out of your mouth. When you're really poorly, you tend to not care. And by not caring, you often don't realise the signals and vibrations you send to others. Though for me, no one ever caught on to it. But looking back, I can definitely see the alarming signs. Love you Marie xxxx
i totally get the "separate person" thing when looking at yourself when you were extremely sick. whenever i see pictures of myself from about ~2013/14/15 it doesn't feel like it's me, at all! it's so strange. i'm very happy that you have come so far that you can make a video like this - you're awesome!
A lot of the time I look back at pictures I had posted when I was in my illness and I read the captions I can see things like the easter eggs that you mention. I think some of it is like and inside joke because you don't think anyone will pick up on it and my mind was so sick it was laughing at how clueless it thought people were about my struggles. Very strange feeling....
I honestly respect you so much. Ur so incredibly brave your an incredibly beautiful person. I’ve been struggling a lot the past few months and watching your videos actually help me. Thank you so much you’re so inspiring ❤️
would love a part 2 !! 💓 and I'm the exact same way when I'm ill, putting on a mask that everything's fine to avoid vulnerability but saying things that almost hint I'm not doing well, changes in my appearance, etc. this vid made me feel less alone! love u angel x
Can't believe how well your doing babe!!! You don't don't realize how much I look up to you not just your positivy just everything about you your so beautiful 😍 your road was dark and scary but I guess now your on the road to recovery with lots of people behind you to support you I'm sure you have a heart of gold and I just pray that you do well in your life I know you will succeed in the short life we have!!! Such an inspiration!!! Love you babe 😘💜
Although it’s so emotional watching you watch your old videos it’s so wonderful how far you’ve come and how much so stronger you are I’m so so proud of you Marie 💘
Wow this literally hit me so deep. I remember all of those videos (no.1 fan) but I’m almost certain I never suspected a thing like I fully remember enjoying watching them! This was mind blowing Forever proud of you love you always 💜🐙 (gonna text you) x
I can relate so much to the manic moments and not speaking to friends... basically ignoring everyone but seemed okay to myself but obviously not okay? Idk if that makes sense but you have no idea how helpful this is to me at this moment in my life.
Just wow! You're so brave to speak out and do this to help others, it's just so inspirational and I love you for that 💗 you can definitely see how far you've came and how much progress you've made and I'm so so proud of you!! Yesterday and today have been so shitty and I haven't gotten out of bed or done anything today 🙈 this has just made my day! You're the reason I keep going! Love you loads 💗💗
And I think your idea of doing a part 2 would be great!!! + I can definitely tell the difference between your videos then and your videos now, youve come so far :)
I'm so glad I found your channel a month or so ago, just watching you and seeing how far you've come makes me realise there's light at the end of the tunnel, amazing video!! Xx
I remember when I found your videos like 2-1 year ago because I was searching for psychiatric hospital vlogs and you seemed quite different than you are now. It's so great you're doing better now and obviously you were so young in those videos and you've grown up a lot.
I would still be subscribing to you back then because that girls is perfect and she deserves to be loved equally as the others . Moreover I'm so proud of who she is and who she is becoming . She's so strong and she doesn't want anyone to feel unwanted and worthless . I love you so much Marie . You're my hero :))
You are such a wonderful person. You make me feel so much better knowing that I'm not alone well anymore.. I really hope you never ever hurt your self again it might be hard for you but try try try stay strog
I mean, i read my phsycologists journal thingy about me, and my jaw dropped. She picks up all the negative stuff, yet she writes it of as an ok thing. I met up with her and had to ask if she saw what she wrote, cause i got kind of pissed. We both agreed to talk about it once in a while. I know what my mind its like, shes just a person who writes what i say. We all think we are good at hiding, but the truth is totaly clear when all the red strings are attatched. 100% on your side there. Also, great video, keept me entertained before Grey's Anatomy started😂❤️❤️
I want to say to anyone that says "It's all in your head-panic attacks can be stopped if you just breathe and think happy thoughts", has NEVER had a true panic attack. Marie - you give me hope. ♥
oh god i relate to the dropping easter eggs thing as well. i purposely go to bed super late so it'll be hard for me to get out of bed because i want my mom to think maybe i'm depressed. even if i get enough sleep it's still hard anyway tho
Thankyou for making this I feel like I learn so much from you:)) You're lucky in England you can get help I'm Irish and you don't get proper help until you're at an extreme point where there is no other choice here. I love your videos thankyou again ❤❤
relate to this so much. it really is an eye opener looking back at how broken you once were , a person who thought they couldn't live another day to now a diff person. I look back at old photos of me when I was in a bad place and it makes me sad. like you said I wish someone could've shook me and told me I was gonna be alright
This video is so awesome because you are so much better now and can look back on this in a healthy way and I'm so glad to see your better now marie your a beautiful person inside and out . much love girl 🙏🙏🔥🔥💯💯
My mum saw my self harm this morning and she said what’s this and I said cat scratches cos thank goodness all my bad self harm is where nobody can see but she didn’t believe me when I said cat scratches she said that I’ve been cutting myself with something and I said nothing then she didn’t do shit about it she just walked off like wtf
Im going through exactly what you went through, been in hospital over a year now and I just wonder how you managed to get out and manage to control your urges ect. I just feel like theres no chance of me ever getting out but watching your videos is giving me more hope that i can get better xx
I kinda would have noticed it since i do the same. i joke about it also i think i'm really good at hiding it but someone just pointed out that he has a sense of me not being ok so guess i'm not that good at it after all.
i’ve been depressed and had anxiety and self harmed since i was 11 (15 now) i’m not doing well rn i just had to put down my dog who was my life i have the urge a lot i have panic attacks daily and don’t know how to stop them i cry every night and i hate it i want to die sorry for the rant i just wanted to get this out to someone i needed to tell someone and my parents think i’m faking even when they found out i sh they said i was lazy and lieing sorry for the rant
hey marie, may i ask you what color/brand you used for your hair? my hair is awful and i need a good coloration to save it haha :D stay strong, i love your videos sm!
Thankyou! And it’s the garnier nutrisse one (don’t know the shade something truffle idk) but they’re so good at not making your hair really dry or bad condition! Xx
