He's a narcissistic sociopath and has said he doesnt want to be a parent...so why force visitatiin when its obviously not in the best interest of the child when he will not feed, not give bedtime, not provide safety...in this case i want and understand the importance of co-parenting but why do we as the parent have to wait for "something to happen" to a child before the courts listen or understand...and thats the tip of the iceberg in my case... We teach kids to stay away from harmful situations. .so what is the system teaching? Nothing...just addding to another generation emotional and unstable abuses we as parents are trying to TRULY avoid and not as a control tactic...
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Recently on the news the crazy narc x who was allowed visitations decided to chain his 3yrs old to the child care seat engulfed the car with gasoline and burned her alive a he ran to a near by pond and saved his own life NOT EVERYONE DESERVES THE RIGHT TO A VULNERABLE CHILD JUST CAUSE THEY ARE THE DONOR....🤔🤔🤔
@@violeturviolet5 This is the story that haunts me when i think about parents who hurt the kid as a form of punishment to the other parent. Heartbreaking
Do you really need to ask that question? Most people are decent and fair and care about their own children. For most of us, it never crosses our minds that a man we love would be any different. Then it happens and your world and world,view are destroyed.
you both have way too much focus on normal people custody problems. Do a video of one parent doing everything right and healthy, and the other parent being an abusive alcoholic.
If the other parent is a narcissist joint custody only maintains the unhealthy dynamics of the narcissistic parent. From the child's point of view the narcissist makes sure that you are belittled and he is the good strong parent and the child has to listen to that parent and not the other parent. In many cases the other parent is healthy and has no idea this control tactic is being used.
Mary Spitz, co-parenting can be a challenge and more-so with a person who has mental problems. Over time, the child will see what is happening. Thank you for watching.
I want to thank you so much for providing this information. I just wrapped up a 15 months custody battle. Needless to say it's been the most emotion period of my life. Gotta wait about 2 weeks for the decision but I feel confident in our case. We established domestic violence, medical neglect (my wife took our daughter out of the country,18 months after not seeing her her teeth are black) and educational neglect. In 18 months of school she was absent 21 days and tardy 57 times! All the while I never knew she was back in America.
I'm just curious about a couple of things, that I'm hoping you might be able to touch on. Every decree seems to end with a Children's Bill of Rights page that lists everything that you should not do or discuss, etc., with the child. And, in my opinion, a lot of those "things" are very important, if not detrimental in terms of appropriateness at the very least. So my question is, at what point do you hold the other parent accountable for breaching the child's bill of rights? And, realistically speaking, is it even possible to do so? Any parent can say or do whatever they feel like or deem appropriate at the time (or always, for that matter), but what exactly can be done about it, and how? It seems to me that, unless a bystander hears or sees it for themselves, or if it is miraculously caught on tape in some kind of way, there is absolutely no way to hold a parent accountable for such. I would very much like to know what your (both of you) take is on this matter, as well as, if it is (if at all), something enforcable. How does one prove that. And I'll be honest, I feel that a breach of that particular bill is a form of child abuse; whether it be verbal or emotional. To me, they both go hand in hand. How exactly do you protect your children from that,? And, how exactly do the courts receive &/or respond to such acts?
The NH family courts regularly award a pathogenic parent custody in the face of evidence so that the industry can ride their behavior to the bank for as long as possible. If you have enough money you can buy your way out.
I like these guys... I’ve wasted a lot of time watching Rogan and Bobbie related videos but these are the ones that directly affect me, I’m sure they help others as well.
I lost custody because we agreed amicably that he would have the kids full-time while I went to nursing school for one year, and then he decided to change his mind about giving them back and it’s been hell on earth for all of us ever since.
Thank you so so so much for these videos. They are very helpful and so very true. There is no win or lose. And this is where so many people get so focused on is winning or losing instead of what works or what’s right.
I have primary custody of my 11 year old but we pretty much let her choose when she goes to moms. But I actually support her doing it 😂. Mom also can call me and say “can I get her this weekend?” And I totally support it. This actually works better for us than when we enforce the order. She didn’t like going to her house at all when we went by the court schedule. 2 years ago we decided to try to just let her tell us when she wants to spend time with mom and she actually spends more time with her now than what the court called for. This only works of both parents act good though. I definitely wouldn’t advise it if there’s conflict with custody as it’s very easy to manipulate the situation. I learned this very early on. All it took is for me to say “baby your going to moms tomorrow, I’m really gonna miss you” and the child reacts by not wanting to leave me. I recognized this is unhealthy and really didn’t mean to cause the reaction, but I recognized it. Now I give my daughter a healthy heads up “babe, don’t forgot tomorrow moms gonna pick you up from school, don’t forget she’s been wanting to goto the park with you so bring good shoes” - “ok daddy!” Amazing how much kids react to us as parents even if we don’t directly say something to them. Non verbal communication is a very real thing.
Doug Foster, I am glad you are working together on this. Your child will benefit from it as she sees people communicating and working together. You are giving your child a valuable gift.
That's so great you both can do this. In the past, when my son was 3, my ex used to try to make the exchange difficult, basically by doing the opposite of what you do.
@@kevboost The way I won custody is I kept at it...Don't ever ever ever make it personal with your ex...Always be the nicer person and more mature person but make sure you have boundaries...The true way to win custody is a marathon, not a race....Consistency is key. Always be available for your child. Know the doctors your child goes to. know the teachers. Know their best friends. Know your kids birthday. In most cases, doesn't matter how good you are because if your ex is also good and you guys get along then it'll probably be 50/50...Which, trust me, is a good thing cause your kid needs both parents. A lot of bitter moms understand that 50/50 only works when both people get along so they'll purposely make it difficult for co-parenting just so in court they can say "I NEED FULL CUSTODY CAUSE WE CLEARLY CANT CO-PARENT" and she'll probably try to blame you. That's why I say ALWAYS be very reasonable even if it's not in the court order..For example, if I was ever running like 2-5 minutes late, my ex would be a huge deal about it and point to the court order...On the other hand, when SHE was late, I didn't make a big deal because i'm reasonable....That is how you win. When you have your trial, you show judge that you can't co-parent because she makes things difficult and that you are the more reasonable person that is going to do whats right for the kid AND also ENCOURAGE the other parent to have a relationship with the kid.
Mom left the state with kids and I have joint and legal custody. Have seen them since July. This video is good. Waiting for court date. Hope the judge sees the same thing and enforce or change custody to me for my kids sake. Kids needs both Mom and Dad.
Simeon Holloway sorry bro.. my wife was going to leave the county with are 4yr boy.. but a quick call to my attorney stop ✋ that... hang in there!!!! everything will come ur way.. just stay positive bro👍👍👍
So I have followed you for years and have always valued your parenting advice , who knew I'd be here taking advice for this .....I'm a year into a seperation for my four children's dad , it's been very difficult, I am so thankful for your video this is so valuable for people like me thank you for sharing ❤
Can you please address corrupt judges in custody cases? How can you obtain justice when the judge is bias, falsified court documents and won't allow you a change of venue.
1thedarox oh my God girl..I’m telling you. Fayetteville North Carolina is the most corrupt place on earth. My ex who was recently charged with 5 felony sec offenses against my daughter, and a charge against my youngest son for forcing him to blow into his breath-o-lizer actually got custody of the same child he is in court with?!?! Wtf? They used a fake Facebook page that I proved wasn’t me against me, and my dead boyfriend. Smh it’s insane
I would love for you two to represent me in court. The mother of my kids has alienated me from my two girls and I dared not fight her. I didn’t want to hurt the kids during a stressful situation. But I can promise you, with what your saying, I could get my kids back in a positive environment and give them the best life and I would continue to allow my children see the mother.
I bent over backwards to cooperate and be accommodating, but truth didn't prevail. My case is straight out of hell. I am praying my daughter will stay alive until she is 18 she she will be free. The best liar won...
@MadeintheImageofGod cooperating and communicating are necessary to a healthy parenting relationship. I was not so compliant with demands of strangers but I was reasonable. I had no idea what was going on. I thought it was weird to request court orders to keep me from saying anything negative and to support my daughter's school experience. I had not anticipated making any negative remarks other than calling him out on lies. And I supported her school experience in every way, but he lied and sent emails to the school saying I encouraged Dilara to misbehave at school. Court orders are dangerous things.
My son a victim of kidnapping and parent alienation, has breached court shared custody, and taken my grandchildren from their mother because she had a new sibling last month, and in his mind no other man can raise his children. Court is today, 5th March 2020.... yet he claims he will refuse to return the kids, and leave the state. The Hague, International social services, are aware this is occurring... I’m horribly concerned this history will repeat again...since it’s a norm for the family I married to remove children from biological parents and adopt them under duress, by new step parent often more than one. Thank you for the insight.
This will actually help me write my motion for sole legal custody. My ex is so concerned with being the fun parent that he isnt being a parent. he makes demands on me in regards to our son because 'its his right' 🤦♀️ our son got arrested for a assaulting my husband and my ex is mad i took our sons xbox away.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV he certainly does. My son stole his phone back out of a dresser before he went to his dads. my ex is ignoring my calls and text messages. Ive had to put security cameras all over my house inside and out.
I disagree with children needing both parents. My child’s father has done more mental health damage to our daughter being around her father than being with him. Not every father can be a father. And the courts need to be reformed to accommodate such non physical abuse to a child.
Yours is a difficult situation, Jamela Sullivan. We wish every parent could have the child's best interest at heart and the majority do. Thank you for being there for your child.
@@princeofdeath6058 I would say not every mother is automatically a good mother.In my experience I can admit I'm not perfect dad and I learn in a process but definitely I am not as bad as my wife describe. I don't judge every parent but in many cases many many women think they crystal clear and the fault is always on the other side never in the middle.
@@latecheckout11 thats how women thinks, in their head 'omg hes perfect ill marry him!' When he asks the big question. Sad thing is most females go into a relationship with a guy they hardly know, and fail to realise guys always show their best traits to attract a woman. Its a womans responsibilty to figure out whether a guy will be a good or bad father before opening their legs and giving him access to impregnate them, not just for herself but for the child she will bear.
prince of death it’s not always her fault for opening her legs. My ex got me pregnant on purpose and without my consent to trap me. Now he body shames my daughter as well as talking bad about me to her. She can’t stand him. Now after telling her he wants nothing to do with her 2 years ago, he’s trying to get custody. Sometimes it’s the guy that sucks.
I agree with u on that one mentally their father is trying to brainwash the kids my mother told me and no child support I gotta keep looking for a better paying job, my ex is while on the path to have his rights removed big time. Neglecting our children needs Horrible it breaks my heart it truly does.
Thank you for your insight. I have been binge watching your custody videos. Next Thursday I go to court for the primary custody of my almost five year old daughter. I am terrified. She is my world. Obviously, there are many details at play here, but at the end of the day, I just want what is best for my little girl. I will give you an update after the hearing...positive thoughts and vibes, please!
@@Mrs.LeahBaker Long story short, we came to an agreement and we share custody. It was a long road, but I’m so glad to no longer be on it. Thanks for asking!
@@Mrs.LeahBaker best of luck. We went to court for one day and then the day before the second hearing, we came to an agreement. I don't know your story, but I hope everything works out! I know you must be anxious.
They don’t care about the kids! I loss my house, my kids just because I sent the form I suppose to fill for spousal and child support to a wrong place and the oficial didn’t get it. They give to my husband everything listed on his divorce demand. They sent me to live in the street with no money! No a single dólar. I did not have place for me which means for the kids neither. Never work in this country for 17 years so impossible to rent with no credit history. I was in the street with just visitation. So , they doesn’t Matter the kids will loss their mom! What matters is paper and documents and that is it!
I'm so sorry. I hope this can be helped. There are services that help people such as you get established. I have seen it in action. There are classes you can take. Check at a woman's shelter.
I agree with em elle. Family Law attorneys and judges need to be educated in types of abuse and the effects on child development. Also to be trauma-informed. After a three-year-long battle, I just lost custody of my son. The main reason is that they perceived my daughter's choice not to see her father as my manipulation. I was respecting her choice and requested that decision be made with her therapist's recommendations. She has PTSD because of him and has been in trauma therapy. He is the main character of her nightmares. But none of this was taken into consideration. So now my autistic son is traumatized again by the judge giving his father total control and custody. He has no intention of keeping my son in contact with me or his siblings. his siblings testified against their father in open court. Who's interest was served in this ruling?
Hope this comment will be noticed and replied to. I have a situation that has gone on for many years now, and at this point, I want to get out of the house, and I'd hope for my younger brother to aswell. My father hasn't been the best person. He has threatened to shoot our dog in the head once, hes pinned me down and twisted my arm. Although that was for safety reasons, I feel that I shouldn't have been pulled and tossed onto the floor like that. Ever since 6th grade, he has emotionally drained me over my grades, and I have been criticized a bit, which has been a major putdown for me. I'm currently in 11th grade, and continue to suffer from depression since then. I'm not the only one who puts up with this. My mother has been emotionally drained because of him, as now I see her cry almost everyday and feel miserable with him. I tried so hard, from calling CPS to going to the hospital with hopes I can get away from my father. The hospital couldn't recommend much but just tell me to hang in there and maybe my dad will change, but he never does. As for CPS, my parents said so much, primarily my dad, that he convinced me it wouldn't turn out well if I left, so I told CPS the minor things that would prevent the situation from going down any further. Recently I've come to such a bad point to where I can't handle seeing my mother miserable, wasting years of her life with him and weakening herself emotionally and physically, and my brother who will become just like him… He's honestly not a father to me. He may care, but he doesn't know how to be a good father honestly. From what it seems, hem ay RARELY get physical, but he often seems to be what's called an "energy vampire". Just draining me and my family bit by bit. God, he even abused our dog, which is why we had to give him away with this bad environment. It's better than being shot in the head in the woods. My god… I need some advice. Who do I reach out to? Are there ways I can still stay in my current town? Is moving in with my friends family or even my boyfriends family an option if they approve? I'd appreciate some advice as soon as you may be able to respond.
Aouleria, thank you for watching and commenting. My apologies for not getting back sooner - I'm backed up on comments. I am unable to help you much because you are a minor. However, I will tell you that we do have a free 25 minute call available with one of our Live On Purpose coaches. Your mother would have to be the one to schedule the call and be there for the call. Please consider talking to her about it. If this is something she or the two of you do, think about or write down what you want to discuss and keep it concise and to the point - time is very limited! In the meantime, have a conversation with your mother explaining your desires. If you want to move out, ask if you can live with grandparents, uncles/aunts, or any other relatives if possible. The second choice would be with a friend, but however you do it, everyone has to be on board with you living with them. You may also want to talk to the school counselor. They are equipped with knowledge of how to help in a variety of ways. Best wishes to you and your family. Almost forgot! To schedule the call, have your Mom go to DrPaulJenkins.com/breakthroughcall
Hi Kali Caldwell, get clear on what you control, and that is not the other parent. Since you have no control over them, you can spend less time thinking about them and focus on what you can do.
Bill Eddie has alot of great techniques. That has helped me with my toxic/stressful/high conflict x-wife. Let me know if to those techniques helps you out too 😊
You know my husband's going through a crazy custody battle the mother tested positive and also is putting the father out to be the bad guy she's embedded a lot of things in the kids head but I've been catching myself just looking into a lot of research and I mean it's obvious that the other person is very toxic I say to my husband don't worry about that let them be them what you can worry about is yourself make sure you just provide a very comfortable loving home for when that child comes with you you can't change that other person what you can do is change the characteristics in yourself if you catch yourself I know sometimes we need to have a mirror in front of our faces but if you catch yourself doing the same things or certain things that the other parent does such as pointing the finger when you look in the mirror all you can do is look at yourself stop looking at them and look at what you need to do real quick to change to make a huge change for your child let's not worry about another person being toxic trust me my family is definitely going through it and I haven't been to church in many years but I'm doing what I need to do for my family start going being a solid foundation for my husband my children and my stepchild it's easier to love then to deal with the hate for me and my case I'm not perfect nor is my husband and his ex but what I can do is do my best to provide a home for all of us it's time to grow up and get right so let's not worry about anybody being toxic just take a look in the mirror......
My ex husband has made false allegations against me saying I would harm my daughter. I had to go through all kinds of groups and have not seen my daughter in 3 years. He lies to my daughter making her think I don’t want anything to do with her. I had to pay 4500 for a risk assessment that’s taken 9 months for this man to go through everything, it’s almost done and I hope it works in my favor. My ex husband tells me that my daughter doesn’t want to talk to me and he’s not going to force her
One of my friends has an 8 year old son he won custody 2 years ago after he divorced his wife after she ended up on disability. He refuses to give her partial custody because she can't can't take care of herself so how can she raise/support a child
My brother sent me this link to your video. You are talking about everything that happened to me. I can’t find an attorney that doesn’t want to be friends with the Judge because everyone that lives in the small town has to eventually go in front of that judge again. It’s not fair that I never had a chance. I wish you would help me see my son again. I was given the advice to wait until her turns 18 but it’s so hard to wait. I miss him so much.
L Wms, thank you for watching, and I appreciate your brother sending this video to you as well. I am sorry that you can't see your son right now - that is heart-breaking. Unfortunately, I cannot give legal advice. I do have other child custody videos; here's the playlist if you would like to check those out: ru-vid.com/group/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd. Best wishes.
How do you prove that you're not abusive and neglectful? My ex has submitted an alternative parenting plan and it is full of false and misleading Statements.
If the mother is a narcissist and she's manipulative and verbally abusive to the father, how can the father work with that??? He can have all of the confidence in the world...but that won't change the mother.
Just found out that my ex-husband's new wife is pushing and shoving my 12 year old son and they also left my 15 and 12 year old kids home alone unsupervised for 24 hours so they could go to a friend's beach house. He never contacted me for right of first refusal. Now I have to file contempt charges. Wish I didn't have to. But, this behavior is concerning and affects the kids
My children are around their mom, and stepfather. She has sole custody. CPS was called out on them. Come to find out after CPS question my kids, and they told the they was being whipped by the step dad, and step dad smokes crack, my youngest found needles in her room for heroin, they jump from house to house, not being in a stable home, and my son is cutting his arm's, and it's all on record! But some reason they want remove my kids! I go to court to get a summons for sole custody, and go against her rights! "As I should knowing their wellbeing is at a risk!" I go get a process server, they can't find her! I drive their old nieghborhood, I can't find her, I try by mail, and it goes straight back to the postal service! I keep my cool, I try other ways! But no one not even a judge, or cop can do to find her to remove my kids. I love your videos, but Im feeling all my rights is removed! If you are reading this please help? What can I Do?I'm running out of patience, and this is literally going beat me to the ground!!!
How frustrating, Johnny Abbott, to say the least. I wish I could find her for you. Don't give up please, we are pulling for you to be able to find her quickly.
Thankyou for these videos. I've moved within a mile of my children. I changed jobs, I have a new house. When I reached out to my x for more time with my children she shut me down, took away any extra time I was having with them at the time. We're are on our way to the meditators meeting because she will not negotiate or give me more time. I'm nervous, I've done my positive loving homework, I just want to be in their lives. Please, any advice on going into this meeting is appreciated!
Freaky_Jsn_Killr 13, I hope my response isn't too late; I have many comments to get to! While I cannot give specific legal advice, we do have more videos about child custody on this playlist: ru-vid.com/group/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd Best wishes to you and your children.
Hey - I know it’s been a year plus but I am in the same boat. Moved close, etc… but she is so rigid / black and white when it comes to scheduling I’m afraid if I take her to mediation she will start spewing lies and make my situation worse. What ended up happening in your case??
@@Mgoblue1023 well,, exzactly what you described and with covid everything was by phone. It was extremely difficult. Know what your kids want more than anything else.
My Daughter was trying to call all the shots. We had to talk about that she is entitled to her feelings/opinions AND I don't get to make that call and we (Dad and I) would talk about it in court with a judge and all. We compared it to kids at her age. I said she would eat pastry strudels everyday if I never made her have oatmeal or granola. She said the "fine, I may not know everything". I said "you would play minecraft all day long and never do anything". She kinda nodded like "Okay, maybe" face. She says "Maybe half the kids in my class play FortNight all night long and do don't their homework bc their parents are too busy to spend time with them". These are married parents and the kid's are really just left to their own to video game all night long. This is Elementary School!!! I'm like why not just turn off the wifi? or unplug it? I was like "You know I know where the computer plugs in and the breaker box is right?". . . "Yeah, Mom, I know".
I have a four year old son. The father and mom l, half brother have been alienated from his life. Sacramento, Ca family judge granted us visits with the child, right after that, his sister who has legal guardian ship moved to Georgia, or Oklahoma and has made my son unavailable to visit his other family for the last 3 1/2 years. The sister who has custody of my son is purposely braking the parent/child bond. My four year old son has no one to enforce his visits or speak up in his behalf. The father and I tried to enforce through the family court and the courts said there isn't anything they can do, that the mom dad would need to hire an attorney/ private investigator to enforce . Parents do not have a physical address for the legal guardian and parents are homeless experiencing a financial hardship. So my son's sister lies and tells the courts that the parents abandoned or doesn't hear from the parents. It's a shame that professionals do not go to child's school, to speak with children in private away from abusive/alienating custodel parent.
Healthnut you have a point about narrascist I'm up against one I'm going through it now not honest ppl pathological liars I find it very tough to take hugs the court doesn't recognize character flaws It's incredible how they fall upper the radar with abuse and neglect if it's more emotional abuse hugs your not alone It's amazing how the real them comes out when u start fighting back and saying no.
I am a parent going through parental alienation. their father and new step mother have done everything use the court system to have my children. right now they used false allegations of sexual abuse. later my son confessed to being coached.
In the 1st part of this video you mention not alienating the child from one parent/not following court order. In our case, my son's father and I had a court order but he was shortly thereafter incarcerated for robbing 5 pharmacies with a gun for narcotic painkillers. He has spent the last 10 years in prison and was released last week. He tried getting our son the day after he was released, but I refused saying we needed to ammend our agreement. My son does not know him and I do not feel my son is safe with him for overnight visits yet. I believe initial supervised visits and possibly some parenting classes would be best. I am nervous about what the judge is going to say though since technically we have a court order from over 10 years ago. What are your thoughts/professional opinions on this?
Do you need a degree to be a custody evaluator? I need to know! I 100% found my calling after just dealing with one. She was completely biased on mom's side. It's heartbreaking to watch good father's in pain!
My ex-wife has custody of our daughter in California while I live in Florida. Since the divorce, she has filed restraining orders against two different men my daughter viewed as father figures. One of which was driving drunk and crashed the car with my daughter in the car. All of this under the mother's "watchful" eye. I had just requested to get my daughter for Thanksgiving break for a trip to New York. She's allowing me 3 days... 3 days to go pick her up from Cali, fly to new york, and bring her back. This would be my first time seeing her in two years. I need help. Would this be a substantial case to reopen a custody battle? I want my daughter, and I honestly feel her mother's lack of vigilance is dangerous.
Brandon, thank you for watching, I hope you found something useful in the video. Unfortunately, I am unable to give specific legal advice as I come to the table with a psychologist's perspective. Your case does seem substantial due to the danger your daughter has been in. It might be time to consider obtaining the help of an attorney. We do have more child custody videos on this playlist: ru-vid.com/group/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd
What if one of the parents is a drug addict and has a history of domestic violence and abuse who has been to prison for domestic violence (strangulation of the other parent?) My girlfriend is dealing with her child's father, and he is a very violent person (got released from prison and immediately went back to abusing the mother) she has left the situation and now has a restraining order against him now, but fears he may continue the cycle of abuse on the child... Both of us believe it is in the best interest of the child for us to remove him from her life entirely and raise her in a violence free environment...
Tactical Shortpants, seek the advice of an attorney who knows the laws and how to present your case in court. Keep it to the facts without making any judgments, let the judge do that.
I wish all of this was true, then the courts would have granted my husband primary custody. We've gone through... alienation, non-cooperation, humiliation, coercion, false accusations in court (luckily, that went in our favor because we had all the evidence), but you name it and we went through it. We have all the proof of everything being false or being done towards us and my husband was still and is still being pushed aside. I guess it's just the luck that some might run into because we haven't had any except for catching her on perjury trying to get full custody by default claiming she couldn't find where the non-custodial parent was and we proved it to the magistrate and it went in our favor but that was the only thing we got.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV Thank you, you should see the file I have organized for my husband. He keeps trying with his daughter because his son is going on 19 but we've stopped going to court. I think that maybe the right legal representation would have helped in our situation. Sadly, his daughter has gone down a dark path and the mother just refuses to do something to help her. It's to the point that his daughter doesn't live with her mother, she lives with her grandmother. It's a sad and complicated situation but he still tries, even though we don't go through the courts anymore. It's bad because I see that he's just not getting anywhere with it. Thank you for your response though.
DON'T participate in any arguing, bickering, and discuss nothing personal. Its ONLY about the child. Do your own part to follow the orders, and be the best parent you can be. If the other parent isn't doing right, it will show. And don't make it a war about winning. Just be a parent. Document everything! I am disabled, and he makes 100k a year. I have maintained custody despite dozens of false cases. I also represent myself in court. The judge understands I don't have the budget for a lawyer. As long as I'm doing right...nothing to worry about. I encourage her to go, because good or bad she needs to know who her father is.
Can you make a session about how to deal with co-parenting when the other parent is flirting and still talking “couple family talk?” (And yes... many direct “turn down” conversations have been made over the last decade.) Example: When I try and co-parent he sees this as an “in” to be a couple and happy family again and then takes it out on my child and I when he realizes I am only interested in talking about my son. Makes co-parenting difficult and my 10 year old son confused. I thought it might be a good idea for a clip?
co-parenting would be an excellent excellent topic. It is one of the most difficult things, and it sometimes leads to horrible after money. Sometimes you, though, it can lead to beautiful friendship and healthy relationship between the children and both parents.
My daughter left her husband because of physical and mental abuse of the children. She tried several times to get him into counceling but he refused to go. He was charged and convected of child abuse. He continued to abuse during probation. She left him to protect the children. She's has had them for three years and the children are doing much better. Her husband has taken her to court to gain custody. He lied to the court about several things. One child even harmed herself before going to visitation and two times was admitted to the hospital mental ward for obversation. The hearing will be in a couple of months. The question is how does she prepare.
JOHN JONES, my heart goes out to your daughter and her children. I sincerely hope they can all stay safe. We have a child custody playlist: ru-vid.com/group/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd, but beyond that I am unable to give specific legal advice. I hope she can find resources in her jurisdiction. Best wishes, and thanks for watching Live On Purpose TV.
I am the stepmom and the other parent is violating the court orders and making false statements of abuse. This is hurting the children. How can we work to help the children even when their mother is not allowing them to go to school and counseling?
Sharon Welch, I sympathize with your situation, however I am unable to give specific legal advice. We have a child custody playlist, if you want to look for more information there: ru-vid.com/group/PLq2mRDkHEBPBhTE4dbqLMBrRk8Uop0jgd. Otherwise, I recommend speaking with legal counsel.
I have 2 children. Ages 13 & 10. I have been married to my husband/ their stepdad (or Dad as they call him,being as he's the only Dad they've ever known) almost 8 years now. I left my kids biological father when my youngest was 13 months old. He has not seen the kids for almost 9 years. His mother has had them at her house a few times & he seen them then once but he didn't even come to his mother's house specifically to see them, he showed up because his great grandmother had just passed& he showed up with a girl he was dating for 2months (while he was broken up with his off again,on again girlfriend of 9 years) & the girl's 2 small children, one of whom called him Daddy Infront of my 2 kids.(Again he had only been dating this new girl for not even 2months) So aside from seeing them then, Had not seen them& had not tried to see them aside from making 1 phone call/voice mail in that 9 years saying he missed his son on the voicemail & didn't say a word about his daughter. I digress , up until about 5 months ago (October 2020) he finally decided it was convenient for him to see his 2kids. I agreed (bc I don't believe in keeping children from parents out of spite. Unless of course the child(ren) would be in danger) I agreed he could come down to our daughters 10th bday party. But if he came to her birthday party on 9/02/20 then he would need to also come to our son's birthday party 2 months later on 11/08/20 - he didn't. But point being he has now seen them =4x. He came to her birthday party & came down in December to take them to eat in the town we live in. I brought our daughter up twice to meet up with him(&my son also came on the 2nd time) & his on again, off again gf the first time they were arguing & yelling Infront of us(my daughter&I) . Then the second time I brought both kids up to his house& his gf showed up &we were all outside& they were cussing&yelling at each other infront of all of us( she's was&is currently pregnant with their second child together &they were currently broken up). So 4times he's seen them all together. Twice he came down& twice I brought them up: both of which I couldn't believe the screaming,cussing&fighting Infront of us! He has never paid child support. For his daughters 10th bday he gave her $50 & for his son's birthday (that he didn't show up for) he bought him a $130 Carhartt jacket(well I ordered it&he paid for it) I called him&asked him if we could sit down&talk sometime in the near future about Child support &he got mad& called me "a stupid b*tch" &hung up. Later we talked &he said he talked to his Mom (whom is a pastor)& That he "shouldn't have to pay for a kid if you don't see them" I said that's been 1000% your choice. Just because a person decides to emotionally & physically abandon their children doesn't mean they also can financially abandon them also(even though he has for 9yrs). So he has been now paying me $200 per month for both/2 kids. So a $100 per kid per month. Which is comical. For 4months now. That pays for a few days of groceries. 🚩 He is a self employed painter &he makes decent money , especially considering he has VERY little bills. However he has no bank accounts & has only filed his taxes 2x since I left him(in 2012)& of course being self employed says he makes a lot less than what he actually does. He has a house that he finally almost has paid off. He got it with his ex-wife when he was 19 years old,he is now 38. His house payment is $220 a month. He has recently bought a cheap vehicle. So has liability insurance. &Is even buying a cheap house with his brother to fix up to sell. My husband is a licensed pipe fitter & a licensed inspector. He makes $40k - $50k per year. I believe my kids bio dad said he put down $30k on his taxes he filed last year. Our rent for our 3bedroom house is $950/mo , car payment$320, & of course electric$185/mo , wifi (kids have to have for school wifi) $100/mo, &phone bill$105/mo& groceries of course. So I'm wondering how to go forward filing for support. The reason I haven't for so long is because he's always said "If you file for child support, I'll file for split custody or full custody" which is absurd. I'm also pretty sure going 9 years without anything more than 1 phone call to the mother of your children surely would be considered abandonment? He is a stranger to both my kids, they don't know him.& The 4x since September 2nd 2020 of seeing them(today is January 25th 2022) it was uncomfortable for them but I encouraged them to be friendly&try to get to know him. They've seen him 4x now & 2 of those we had to leave after not even an hour of being there because of his ex girlfriend (ex at the time)& him cussing & arguing literally right Infront of us. Smh. * Oh & also his off again,on again girlfriend &him have a 5 year old son together & have another baby on the way together. Their 5 year old son they lost to DHS for drugs& after 2+ years having DHS involved, he was able to finally pass a few drug tests & she signed over custody to him because she had failed a drug test again &signed custody to him so that the child wouldn't go into foster care. Smh. I apologize this is so long. Just had to give some background info. I'm just no longer scared of his threat of getting the kids if I file Child support. I think or at least hope a judge will see through him. I don't want to ruin his life. I just want some help. Why is he so special he should he not have to pay child support? He makes in reality $800- $1,100 per week. $100 per kid per month is nothing. Especially when he hasn't paid me a $1 in 9 years. Personally I would like to receive $500 per month I feel would be fair especially for 2kids. We live in Arkansas.
I would talk to support enforcement in your area. They have the best information of what is expected and how to go about getting it. Might be tough with his self-employed situation but maybe a lien could be put on the house. Seek legal advice, I am not a lawyer or licensed in Arkansas.
I’m dealing with someone that harbors all my past mistakes and failures . I understand she can not help the negative feelings she has towards me . I am a great father and I am being punished and kept from Their well being , I don’t want to drag this into court but that decision will be new to our children, for us the parents have experience from our previous marriages. She had full custody and I had joint but with the petitioner title on my behalf. I’m up against someone that delights herself by making me suffer . A good parent would not interfere with a child’s right to have both parents in their lives. Never give up is my new way of waving my banner of peace not war. The children are always the ones who suffer the most .
my wife took the kids, then said I abused them when I have not. Now DHS is involved. She told me if it went to court she would make it ugly. May God help these children.
hi, my name is emily limpias, im 14 years old. and i would like to stop seeing my father. he has 40% custody while schools in session and 50% in summer. and i have been wanting to be taken out of my dads care since i was about 5-7 years old, due to a mentally and physically abusive step mother, he married when i was 5, before it was just me and him, i told my dad about how i felt so many times and he made no change. he didnt care to help me in the situation i was on, i have childhood trauma now. i am depressed, i have trust issues, and panic attacks atleast once a day. he picks me up from my mothers house every wednesday, and everytime i have expressed i dont want to go to his house, he threatens me and says he will call the police and make my mother step dad and i miserable. i would like to just not get out of my house and stay safe in my mothers care, i do not feel safe at his house due to his girlfriend, they are on and off, she is bipolar and depressed and she is crazy. she has broken into our house and my father and her fight. all day everyday. she is 28 and my dad is 40. i feel like my father doesn't love me. because he used to care about me, and how my day was, and how my moms was. but now he picks me up and takes me home and i go in my room all day. he doesnt care anymore. and he focuses on my 7yr old brother and 8yr old sister more then he does me. he punishes me for things my siblings do and when my brother hits and kicks me and he doesnt care. i act much older then i am, due to trauma and needing that maturity throughout the years. i get mistaken for an 18 year old by people i just meet. i feel like i had no childhood and i was just unhappy. i never had fun as a child. everytime i brjng up me not feeling loved at my fathers house he laughs in my face. i dont feel safe and i am unhappy at my fathers house, but im scared to do anything. any advice for me and my situation?
emily, this is sad. I can hear the sadness and my heart hurts for you. How long do you have to go to your dad's? Could your mother petition the court? Focus on the safety and security you feel with your mother when you are in these situations and seek counseling.
Live On Purpose TV i go every wednesday and every other weekend. my mom and him have fought for custody for years. he hasnt played child support in over a year and im scared if i go to court he will win! and i have been in and out of counseling but it never seems to help me. ive stopped trying because i feel sorry for wasting my moms money
Would you consider myself being a “control freak” if I asked the father of my child to pass a drug test? He has my son supervised now and I would like him to pass a drug test before having him unsupervised because of his previous drug problem.
Can you request in court that drug screens be performed intermittently over a long time frame? My ex spent 10 years in prison for robbing numerous pharmacies at gun point to obtain narcotic painkillers. When my son does start over night visits I would feel MUCH BETTER knowing he was at least clean when he picked him up.
What I do? My mom's took temporary custody of me and my girlfriend kid after lying that my partner was suicidal and tried to kill kid. Hearing for protection order and temp custody are soon
Yes it and It's happening in my situation I wish I had contact with my ex or was allowed so I could bug his mother place and put up a video camera to catch him in his lies and manipulation and abuse towards our kids and then some.
I have false abuse allegations Im dealing with, dude, false abuse allegations are crazy devastating. At least up front. I have my ex who is outright lying. I mean outright lying, she's called several people , including my corporate office at my job to try to get me fired so I couldn't afford my attorney breaking a mutual civil restraining order we had. When I filed a motion with my attorney for contempt, the judge didn't even want to hear it. The judge would not allow evidence to be presented, she just looked at my ex and said don't do that again. That's it! Crazy! My ex still manipulates our conversations, I can't talk to her, the judge has ordered co-parenting counseling she's dropped out of the co-parenting counseling twice. No one cares. And I'm not talking about me, no one cares about my daughter. But they love my money! You see, since she falsely has accused me of abuse even though her false restraining order got dismissed, she gets to keep a free attorney, I make good money, but I can't compete with free. I get what you guys are saying, you shouldn't attack the other parent, cuz it's bad for the child. But there are situations where the parent is bad for the child. But you guys are doing a lot of people favors, because your nonchalant attitudes have completely prepared me for what was ahead. I've come to realize, no one cares. No one cares. No one wants to sit down and hear your stories. No one wants to have time for that, if your videos did one thing for me, it made that crystal clear. Thanks to watching you guys I knew exactly what I was walking myself into from day one. It's a shame our system is set up this way, not for the parents, the people should want to get down to the details for the child. And this has not been my experience in the custody court room.
What a terrible experience, J B. I agree, the children should be the focus and everyone, including the courts, should be looking out for their best interest.
But, do you not think that it is this disgusting legal system, that allow the alienating parent to keep alienating for months or years and the victim has to go through years of pain, hurt to at least to say 'I love you ' to his own children. These law makers are the real abusers and they and their children must rot in hell. If there are simple rules for each parent to have at least a legal minimum time to spend time with their children ( At least in a contact center) .But, instead these so called law makers make a system of making money out of these problem.
I left my husband then he came to my house he lie to me he ask to see our son for a couple hours and he never come back so he fell the divorce papers and he ask for a full custody he don’t let me see and call my son so he never help me on 4 years we only been married 3 months so I know him he is very bad person I’m scare of lost my son and never see him so all he wants is not to pay the child support so what I can do in this case
can a non custodial parent arbitrarily change visitation time at the last minute without giving child some notice and considering the child 's feelings?.. what can custidial parent do to protect the child in this example?
My ex was abusive but i never once took his rights for his son away or kept his son from him and gave him full visitation freedom. But he didnt have the car to get him and i didnt have access to one enough to bring our son to him all the time. He got mad at me and the last time my son was brought to him he refused to give him back and still wont give him back and i now have to go to court to get any custody of my son. I didnt want to restrict custody from him at all, i just miss my son. We are unmarried and no custody or child support has been established yet. Any advice? I just want to see my son again. Hes a year old.
My soon to be 14yr old son told Dad that he doesn't wish to finish out his Summer he told dad he didn't want to attend Gay Pride, and Dad told son you don't get a Choice, and not respecting Son boundaries. I've been trying to stay nurtral as Possible, and deep Breath but how am I so post to Force my 6ft tall over 200lbs son. There's a lot more going on such as being restricted on asking to eat at Dad, Dad has Text Son Thew Fb to take his Medicine which is a narcotic to treat ADHD. I will be self respecting myself I wasn't born with the Golden Spoon. I got my son Counseling when he started Self inflicting pain he was hurting himself red flag so he's told his Counselor I don't feel safe at. I'm doing my best to Educate myself in Protecting my Child. I've had son for 9 yrs and well senses he droped us off am in Oregon and just trying to Protect ourselves
I wish it was really this cut and dry. I'm here googling when is a child better off without a father. The truth is, I don't understand what about me is so bad that my children's father just left me to raise our children by myself, struggle by myself, celebrate them by myself and stress all by myself. He really just shows up for a day every so many months. He doesn't them or even text me asking about them. It isn't that he doesn't know how to be a father bc he met a woman and started raising her child without batting an eye. Three months after meeting her, they are married and he is providing the things that our children been begging for years. His son with another woman calls and all the boys talk about is fearing not knowing how to be a man because there isn't anyone around to show them how. He used to only want a relationship with our daughter. He raped a woman when I was pregnant and didn't file for visitation for any other child but his daughter with me. The judge said that even though he's a sex offender, it isn't a reflection on his relationship with children. I fail as a mom all the time. I'm aware of that. When I fails, our children fail. When he fails, I carry his burdens while shielding them. I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I don't even have a life. I'm just a mom. I'm overwhelmed when I should be confident to go to court against the absent felon father. I leave court feeling broken. Every decision and action I make is criticized. It's a power trip for him because he will randomly take me to court for some bizarre reason when he really doesn't have genuine interest in them. They validate his "role as a father" while attacking my role as a mother. I'm always getting threaten to lose custody for reasons like.. the kids locked themselves in the courthouse bathroom and I wouldn't go in and spank them to force them to go with their father for his weekend after he ignored their phone calls for eleven months. I wasn't "encouraging coparenting". But I would love for them to have a father. I just understood their reasons not wanting to visit. They only love the image of him that I gave them. It isn't even honest. He was abusive. I'm trying to raise them with self love and they need to love the genetics that he gave. The judge is related to him and mistakes their love for their father as a result of having a relationship with him. Nobody gets it. My son loses his temper and will make comments about not being able to feel after having to face rejection so much. My mom raised my children with me and they were forced to watch her die a slow death as took care of her with only their help. It's so damn discouraging to walk into a courthouse and the things you fight to give your children isn't good enough. It seems too easy to not do anything but take notes and judge. My children's father would rather our children suffer through something than help because he gets fulfillment out of discrediting me. The system is failing. Con artists are willing. I wish I had someone that parented with me as much as I have someone that unparents my parenting. It really makes me question myself as mother to the point that its four am and I'm rambling on a RU-vid video after not being able to find out if all this conflict is even worth it. Do my kids need a dad? They aren't getting a stepfather. There isn't enough of me left to date. Are they going to be more fucked up with a yo yo dad that emotionally unavailable or would they be more messed up without a dad? How many times can a man disown his children until his children are allowed to disown him?
There are plenty of problems with the court system, and it seems everywhere, Dawn Texada. Since you don't have control over the court system or the kid's father, the only thing you can control is yourself and it sounds as though you are doing everything you can to care for your children. Custody and respect are two different things and your children will know who showed up for them while they were growing up. I know it doesn't help you now so please make sure you have a support system. I am happy to be a part of this with other videos that may help with parenting if this one was not helpful for you. Thank you for watching though.
Evaluators for families who have suffered domestic abuse should be different than evaluators of the average angry divorce. It is detrimental to the entire situation when people like the two of you are charged to make decisions in dangerous situations. You're both completely oblivious to real life situations in a situation where the abuser is simply playing the courts for power and control. The judicial system has failed the real battered woman!!
Christina Adams, I am truly sorry that you have experienced abuse. Abuse in any form is not acceptable, and Sid and I would never condone it. The judicial system is flawed, unfortunately.
@Christina Adams you are allowing your own personal experiences to cloud your judgment. It is a statistical fact that women are four times more likely than men to commit domestic viølence, and they are an order of magnitude more likely to abüse children. It is very easy to *claim* that you are being abüsed, if we handled things the way that you are advocating for then we would have a system that would encourage people to lie in order to gain an advantage, and that is already something that we have a serious problem with in our system.
My daughter right now is going through a child custody battle right now and right now he gets to make all the decisions on this case because he's the one took her to court for it
I have a question. What if the father has sole and legal custody with visits under his discretion for the mother and just pleaded guilty to domestic violence a few months ago and is on probation and his girlfriend is violent too ? Can that cause the father to lose custody? Mother is stable remarried and has full custody of her other child
In other words, you are saying that a child needs to be abused. There's a problem with your mental health, guys. On the contrary, the child MUST be isolated from the abusive parent in order to preserve his life, mental and physical health. You do not even understand how dangerous, destructive for a child to communicate with parents who are narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths. Develop yourself, stop indulging in abusing children!
Ribka105, I am sorry you took it that way. Abusing children is never acceptable in any way. Please take a look around my channel and see that I am trying to help parents raise their children in a healthy, positive, loving environment.
What if a child doesn’t want to go to his mom because he was abused, not feed and got beaten? And father tried everything to make his son to go to his mom? Please answer
Thanks If you could tell me your opinion on my case. My daughter is 14 an her dad has always been able to see her when he anytime wants even tho he has court order every other weekend I let him have her all these years when ever he wants. Now he has slack off the past 2 years coming to get her. They both seemed ok with it. Then she made a couple of mistakes an he came to my home demanding she come with him an his sister came to sang on me in front of my kids an i filled a report with police. So he filled for cousty unsteady of trying to work it out as her parents he said he would fix our daughter. Now I just found out after that when he would pick her up he would talk bad about me and say things about me that I wasn't good enough mom and an how I live in housing and that she should live with him. he's been doing this for years now and she hated it him downing me to ger. cuz she never could or did say anything back she just had to listen to it. An he would be mentally abusive to her at times about herself and things like that and I didn't know this. I put her in counseling and I also go to counseling an treatment for opiate use have been for the past three years. my children never knew anything about my use. An I did tell them about it when I felt appropriate and that I go to counseling for it and treatment. My daughter also has talked to me an she may be bisexual and he just wants to say terrible things about that and I'm not for it either but I try to understand for her well being. So we had shared parenting and now he just wants to take her she doesn't want to go because of their relationship not being well and he says that I'm not discipline in her enough and I shouldn't let her Express her bisexuality I'd like to know your opinion on if I might lose her even though she doesn't want to go thank you very much
Jake Rothwell, I hope you are able to work this out. At this age, your daughter should have a representative from the court who can express her wishes. She sounds like a smart kid who can tell what is going on. I would talk to her counselor about this also since I am not treating her, it is difficult to give advice on specifics.
I think it’s more important to focus on what the child needs instead of the partner break up. Who raised y’all ? It’s the child’s life is what’s more important!! The whole thing about what you guys are looking up is being a parent to a child!!! Who tf raised y’all to accept that being a single parent is okay!!!
Dad was arrested in front of the children due to domestic violence and our 16 and 15 year-old minor children do not wish to go back to that house because they do not feel safe. My son composed an email telling his dad that he did not want to go back to the house. I supported my son's desire to compose the email. Will I be accused of alienating the children from their father?
MJKsFan, Supporting your son with HIS decision is different that bullying or putting undue influence on him to make the decision. That is alienation. Listen as your son expresses his feeling, leave yours out in regards to his father.
imagine telling a grown man or woman which of their immediate family members they may associate with, speak to, live with, or have any relationship with of any kind. Imagine telling them what specific address they must live at and with whom they must reside with. A republic cannot by its very definition assume that power over a class of persons because it has explicitly denied them their rights to democratically elect their representation in the republic or participate in it in any way, shape or form.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV There is a lot in taking a child from their parent. Its a life altering decision that nobody has the the God given authority to make but the legal community does it all day long as routine practice in this nation so carelessly. It is an intolerable act of violence that you've all become numb to. Ask the American People to democratically decide whether government should possess the power to take our kids from us and see what they say. You only get away with it because the majority isn't aware of it.
