10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Child 

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Katrina O, thank you for sharing. Glad to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

I like that. A teacher colleague says practice makes constant...

Practice doesn't make perfect. Perfect practice makes perfect. Same thing when coaches say practice like you play.

perfect practice makes perfect improper practice makes you worse helps engage you and others on how to pay attention the entire time because everyone wants to get whatever they are practicing right

Practice makes progress.

Astute observation Ayana - I think you're right. We probably have to do a little more thinking and work a litter harder than we want to - but really not as much as we fear it will be. Also, you would probably like the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that's coming out soon. We have some specific tips and tricks for parents that you might find very helpful. Connect here: parentingpowerup.com - DrPaul

Live On Purpose TV Thank you!

"Chores" = checking our phones

The purpose of these short comments is to keep it simple because children are based in egocentrism

@@novareality2964 not to mention, mine had no time to answer. I ask... How was school today, answer... It was gay, see you dad

Good one! DrPaul

Thanks! :-)

L.Croft I love that! I will make that change from practice makes perfect to practice makes progress! Thank you!

I have recently been listening to your videos and following your leads I have found your strategies useful on dealing with kids and teenagers I have them both . You are right and strongly agree with you that we should love our children thanks

I say that too. Thank you, Duggar family lol

I like that, Tori Beach. It gives them a reason to be persistent.

Exactly. I tell my child “Practice makes Progress”. He often corrects people when he hears practice makes perfect.

Congratulations Abigail - parenting is a great adventure, and a huge responsibility. You'll find lots of topics here in our Positive Parenting playlist on the channel. I think you would also love the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that Vicki (my wife) and I just recorded. You can get a free sample listen here: parentingpowerup.com

abigail irime congratulations

You are going to be a great mother!! I did the same thing and I was only 3 months preg at the time 😂 but you know what, we are just making sure the kids are our first priority. 🙏🙏

Yadira Santiago definitely! Only have 2 weeks left, but you can never be too prepared!x

abigail irime 😍😍aaaaawwww...do you know the gender yet

No guilt, Eurosine Bantillo. Deal with the post partum first and try to find some support from a friend or group. Talk to your OB or midwife. Hang in there.

Eurs VB Mompreneur I have a husband that fights against me on raising a teenager . Had I known he would’ve turned out that way I would’ve divorced him b4 I had a child by him. Get out now while you can, you and your child will be better off in the long run.

It took you nine months to grow a child. Allow yourself time to learn and grow to be a better mom. No one us perfect. We learn as we go.

Hang in there. Talk to your husband and tell him how you need him to help. If he does great but if not maybe he's not the one for you

Agree

What a great mom, Jessica M. Honored to be on your team.

J Mc Nevi s child relaxed

Thanks for watching Nile and Moon - Honored to be on your parenting team! Look through the Positive Parenting playlist for some more ideas. I think you would also love the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that my wife Vicki and I just recorded. Get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com DrPaul

imy baby just turned 1 on the 3rd, and i always say "you're ok", or "its ok" if he has a little tumble because i thought it might make him More upset if i were to make a big fuss.

Hello Hyperspace Oddity, hopefully as you watch more videos you can find the how to build a more positive self-image. Keep watching.

No one is perfect, psychologists included and especially me. Forgiveness and love are key to having great relationships, Nevialuna Bella.

I agree no one is perfect. Being open to considering new ideas that can help us be better imperfect parents is realistic. Ideas may bring awareness.

Yup, sometimes it just has to be their idea right? Thanks for watching Yue Zeng. DrPaul

Love this ^^

Love your comment, Dan Archambault. Honored to have you at Live On Purpose TV.

You’ve clearly never been abused mate. Hate what u like, but peoples lives aren’t up to your personal thoughts. A son who’s mother emotionally abused them there whole life left them so insecure and hopeless they rather drive into a tree or blow off there heads because they can’t function knowing not even there mother cant love them, or a daughter who’s whole life there dad would touch them, just friendly. But then it turns into something else and before u know it that daughter is ruining her own life because she can’t deal with the trauma its caused her and ends up ending there life from the pain and shame they feel. Not one of these kids asked to be born or to be brought into a world where not only where they ruined from the start, but also all the years growing up they did not have one day without pain, a unloving parent and neglect. People can hate there, boss who provides them there life because without them they would be homeless. And when you’ve grown up with abuse, you have a every right to hate your parent or parents because they stole your child hood and entire life. Just my take on it, abit late to the party, lol but i can see your point of view. But saying you’re tired of people hating there parents speaks volumes no? If so many people have gone through pain and true trauma because their parents, maybe your really tired of is all the unfit parents who have children knowing they are children themselves and will only damage them because they them selves are damaged. Regardless, take it easy mate. No hate on your view. Just maybe you should look at it abit deeper. Its hard to know what its like to be shot, without ever getting shot. As its hard to know true damaging words or actions parents say to there children then ruin them for life.

You CAN change the future, James Reid. We don't have to parent like our parents did. So powerful.

James, you sound like a very caring, insightful and wise young man. You're on a good path. I believe you will be a fantastic father one day. I wouldn't refer to myself as a victim if I were you. You're an overcomer, exhibiting empathy and learning relationship and parenting skills along your journey. Jesus will definitely help you if you call on Him. Bless you always.

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Focus on yourself for now.

You're awesome 🙂. The fact that you're concerned about being a good parent some day while you're young shows that you care and you will be a good parent someday!!

“I’m 24 years old and still single” some of the best times of your life are waiting. Your partner is out there, do not feel rushed to start a serious relationship while you are still dealing with deep emotional issues. Spend your 20’s healing and working on yourself and the rest will fall into place. 🙏🏼

Thanks for your positivity.

I needed this ❤ I hope you are well

Yes - especially with spectrum issues, teaching that discernment can be tricky. There are times when it is very socially appropriate to talk to strangers. Thanks for watching April! DrPaul

Perfect, Blerina C. I always tell people to put what they hear through their truth filter. It will be different for different people and you know your child best. Thanks for watching.

The most elusive word is "balance". And that is not a universal. Everyone's idea of balance is different. Your comment shows your estimate of balance is different than the speaker's. I don't think the message "makes" anyone feel any one thing. Your reaction may enlighten you about things you are sensitive to. Good parents can choose from this information what they want, not need, to analyze, and analyze short of overanalyzing. The speaker could have a point, you could have a point. I'm open to considering the information without any particular judgment about it.

Yes, words matter. Thanks for your comments Lerycka Lee. Some good news... It's not too late to claim your joy. Watch the intro video on the channel about how to stay positive no matter what. Honored to be on your team! DrPaul

Lerycka Lee be the parent you rather wanted to have to yourself. When you fall off the wagon don't be your mom or your dad to yourself like start insulting yourself or reinforcing their horrible proficacy become real rather be the parent you wanted to have to yourself. Show the help, love, mercy on yourself. When you reach at a safe happy place just try to forgive and let go of what they did to you because their attack it wasn't actually personal they didn't know how to cope with all life kids thing cause they probably had worse parents than you had.

God can help you 😊

Your parents might have been narcissistic. Watch videos on narcissism and it will help you. Your mom may never admit it, or apoligize.

I'm on the same boat, I was beat as a kid and stood in corners for weeks, and one time for 9 months, every day! What gets me is how could my mother allow my step dad to do this? And the kicker! My whole family tells me I need to move on, get passed it, dont hold a grudge. It will never be out of your head, but you have to get passed it.. It would be nice if my step dad acknowledged what he did, but the worst part is all of these people who keep telling me this have completely stopped talking to half of our family because my mom was abused as a kid.... How hypocritical is that? How would that make someone else feel their whole lives? I literally moved out of state to help me get away from this and when my sister got sick after 9 years I moved back, now I have to deal with this every day and people make me feel GUILTY for not wanting my kids over at their house, they say I'm dragging on things that dont matter anymore. I'm going to be 45, and i dont even know how to behave with my own kids now, i get all the blame for my anger and resentment. You are NOT alone.... I wish I could get a little help from someone sometimes.

Kind of a hidden message right? Thanks for watching Lori! DrPaul

U look heavy, maybe its ur conscious

I have a daughter, and I am currently on a weight loss plan, I try to make sure she knows she's beautiful no matter what her size is, and that mom is just trying to be healthy, not "hot" or "skinny". She is a healthy weight, I would never tell her she needs to lose weight, even if she was overweight. I would gently encourage healthy choices, but balance by having a treat every once in awhile is okay, and when I have a treat I tell her I can because I want to and it's perfectly fine as long as I dont go crazy and have a lot of it. More than likely your mom is unaware of how her "journey " is affecting you. If you have an open dialogue with her, tell her how it makes you feel, maybe encourage her to not talk about it so much. You are a beautiful young lady, no matter what your size is, have a blessed day!

She's setting you up for a lifetime of weight worrying issues. Try and ignore her insecurities cause that's all they are.

@@leighleeblack9233 you sound mean, maybe its your heart. That's a kid!

Good to re-think our ways occasionally from what we have been trained, taught, and educated to do automatically. Glad you're watching Deidra! DrPaul

Dori Bonner, wow! Your 9 yr. old sounds very mature. Might be a future psychologist in there. Haha, tell them hello.

Karen Thomson, thank you. Pearls of wisdom stick with us.

Rose, that's the nice thing about principle based strategies - they tend to be universal. DrPaul

Yes!!!I I started reading up on this kind of thing before I was even considering having kids. Also, a great book (that also works with adults) is "How to talk to kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk"

Thanks for your input and comments Tinfoilhatmama - glad you're here! DrPaul

This was a big one for me too. And I completely agree. I nursed my baby for 22 months. And I now firmly believe that alot of my obesity stems not only from my emotuonal and physical and psychological torture, but from not being nursed. Cos my son just has his own deal. He will eat a little bit and just be done. And of course I come from a large family of mental case swedes and my husband was starved everyday of his existence growing up in third world Guatemala. So wasting food is a big big big trigger for both of us. So now I ask my boy, are you done, booger. Are u full. And he hands me the plate if he is. And thats the end of it. I dont push it and i dont question it.

@Team Queen’ s Fearn Tucker and Bentley Forever youre right about the liquid but a childs stomach is as big as their clenched fist. Thats it. Obesity issues start right here at two and three years old, when children learn it isnt ok to say no. It isnt ok to leave food on a plate. Youre creating guilt complexes in a baby if you force them to eat when theyre not hungry.

Yes I agree. My therapist told me about 'internal hunger cues'. A child should get to know his own body. Being forced to eat all your food or being punished for not eating it all is just plain wrong. A family member would make my daughter stay at the table until the plate was empty. I was too afraid to intervene because of my own issues and woukd sometimes ear the food quickly when this person's back was turned. Thinking back it was awful and tense. The threat was "you will eat it all or stay at the table until you do!" A few years ago, my daughter made up her own mind to not eat at that person's house. Food should be enjoyed so if a child is anxious at mealtimes, his food won't digest properly either. A child should have the opportunity to learn his own hunger cues. Mealtimes should be fun.

Agree it’s the child’s stomach not yours that’s saying enough I’m full

Well said, Lavonne Traylor. I hope many read your words.

Tera Greene, that works.

Jen Graham, look on the positive side, thankful for the sandwiches we have to eat, etc. Good reminder. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for your comment Christine, and for your thoughtful and conscious approach to parenting! DrPaul

My mother did the same with me and I am excellent at finances as an adult because I had to realise the real cost of things and I would often decide against getting something I really wanted, but for some reason the lessons stopped with me (the eldest) and with my younger sister my parents just gave her whatever she wanted rather than carry over the expectation of responsibility. It was like that for many things (still is to this day) and it made me feel like I had to work for everything because I wasn't good enough person to just be given it like my sister was. Lesson would be treat ALL your kids with all the same logic because they will notice and feel unworthiness if one must work for their treats and the other just gets given them. I wasn't opposed to working for my own treats, just the fact my sibling didn't have to. I didn't complain about it, I just got on with life but I can't say I never resented it.

Scott, ouch! Not a good thing to say.

Live On Purpose TV Yup. Raised by 2 Sociopaths. I had to join the Army to actually see how real people behaved.

Perhaps you could suggest a code word they could use to let you know they are feeling anxious about the time and to please get ready.

You bring up a good point, Crystal Starlight, these words impact everyone, not just children. Glad to have you join the channel.

Thank you so much for the share - glad you're here. We also have a positive personal development playlist and another one for relationships - check it out. DrPaul

Thanks for sharing what works for you, Stephanie H. I appreciate your being here on the channel.

@@dimif2351 I mean when a child trips or they are sad because mom isn't with them! I discuss the inappropriate behavior with the children, especially with the one who hurts another one. If someone hurts you, you'll eventually be okay. If a child gets punched, I address is like this: "Oh no Peter, we do NOT hurt friends. Hands to yourself" **consouling** "Timmmy, hurt you. That is NOT not nice!" I know it hurts, but you will be okay!" Get what I mean? I don't use "your okay" as a simple bandage. I explain and talk with to both children. I'll even ask "why did you do that?"

Kostas Kovalas, thanks.

Welcome to our community.

Melissa Hill, sadly this story shows very clearly why our words matter. My best to your family. Hopefully we can all learn to be a little kinder and loving.

Glad the video was helpful, Shanndri.

Tom Edur, glad you are enjoying the videos. Thank you for watching.

Yes it is! Thank you for watching and commenting, Jesus Christ Inspiration.

Oh yeah man. Words are ao powerful. Havent you seen all the victims on this post? They all get offended over any little thing.

Belinda R, I see how this can be frustrating, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. Your child will see the difference and the response she gets older may change your husband in the way he asks for something.

Christi ASMR, you are welcome.

Bonnie Cox, I appreciate your comment. Thank you for being here on the channel.

Thanks for your comment N Deli - glad you're here. DrPaul

Yeah I thought that was a really good example. Like look for another mommy. Except nowadays you have child predators out and about looki g for kids who are rolling around with kids trying to snag kids. Im in frickin nebraska and you hear stories all the time about a woman alone with two or three kids watching a "team" circle or try to enclose her. Yeah. Keep a close eye on ur kids. Theres no cheat for that one.

Christy B, I like that, help if "help" helps. Many people get stuck in that mire.

Rosie g., honored to be on your team.

Jennifer Barassi, asking the child how they feel does not mean that you can't give your opinion and tell the child that you saw how hard they worked and are happy with their work. Thank you for watching.

@@LiveOnPurposeTV taken to an extreme, these can become ridiculous. I think the intention is not to give blanket phrases to kids and then silencing them. Listening to them and encouraging them to Express themselves is/should be the goal.

Eva Marie, that must have been frightening for all of you. I'm so glad she was safe. Thank you for sharing your experience.

Awesome, Miscia Tarlit. We all need to learn new things.

Fabulous lessons, Hiba M Khalbous. I say don't do for a child what he can do for himself, even if it is messy. That is how they learn.

Yes! There are principles about dealing with people in general - big people or little people. Thanks for watching BattyGhoul! DrPaul

Thanks for watching and commenting, K g.

Yes, much of positive parenting is knowing when to let things be, even when we can step in and take control. The children need to learn how to work things out for themselves and it can be messy.

Thank you, I love how we can come back here again and again whenever we need a reminder.

Right Katie - somehow we think that helps, but it doesn't really accomplish much. DrPaul

I always say be safe instead of be careful.

I always say take care.. How about that?

"Make good choices" yelled loudly out the car door in front of all of their friends. My kids & I would jokingly say that to each other after we watched Jamie Lee Curtis say it to Lindsey Lohan in Freaky Friday, I think it was.

I would not try to tell people what to do or be when they leave my presence. Just what would be better is to say..."You're in my heart."

You are so welcome!

Wonderful philosophy, Khataroo. We are perfect for our circumstances and the challenges we face. Inspiring.

MasterChanboth43, you are at a great time in your life to learn that you can choose to be happy. You got this.

Agreed.

Thanks Tim - nice to "see" you here. DrPaul

You got this!

Jerome, the honor is mine - thanks for watching! DrPaul

My pleasure Patricia - honored that you are watching and sharing! DrPaul

Husbands are a special kind of animal - principles are universal though, so there is a lot that can apply ;) DrPaul

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣i might have to copy you in that!

@@nilaphillips3500 ..oh HELL yea im in lol🤣🤣🤣

Rude... lol....

That is funny because I was watching this to know how to treat my wife.

I get it. We can tailor our words to our situation and what makes sense for us. Glad you took the time to listen to your daughter and her perception.

I think that's fine! A lot of times it's less the words themselves and more of the general tone and attitude that is important. You're clearly not judging them for not being perfect, and your example about the plane is showing to them that working hard will let you improve. I think it's just the growth mindset that is most important, not exact words themselves.

Rebecca G., I love the plane analogy, so easy to understand and visual. Thanks.

Good list, gerard Joseplik. Thanks for watching.

Not the hero we deserved, but the one we needed

Thank you

Nicole P., when you know better you do better, you got this!

Wonderful. When generations work together, real change can happen.

Glad the videos are helpful for you.

Love it, I am into personal development.

Glad to have you at Live On Purpose, stephanie Ori-Orison.

We get better at whatever we practice, so we should choose carefully what we practice! DrPaul

Christoph, thanks you!

Georgeanne, one of the things that impresses me about you is your determined commitment to be a good Mom. Keep that passion and you will constantly improve. You've got this! DrPaul

I've got one shot to get this done as best as possible. Some days I feel I get it better than others.

Give your kid things with energy in it and itll calm them down. A kid in my school with terrible ADHD had to drink energy drinks to not bounce around in class and still be able to focus. My brother who has ADHD was given medication and could never focus enough to do his school work. Or really function like a kid. Just remember to breathe when things get frustrating. Get a exercise device, something where he can use with with his feet whenever you want him to sit down. And fidget cubes are a must. Completely from a perspective of someone with no medical background. But if it helps, then I wish you the best.

Pleased to hear it! Thanks for watching. Also, you'll probably appreciate the Parenting Power-up Audio Course that's coming out soon. We have some specific tips and tricks for parents that you might find very helpful. Connect here: parentingpowerup.com - DrPaul

Yadira, kudos to you on being a conscious parent - keep up the great work. I think you might also appreciate the Parenting Power-up Audio Course I did with my wife, Vicki. You can get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com DrPaul

Agreed.

Thank you, Dizzy McGuire. Glad to have you at the channel.

Hey if you are looking for something for your kids to do check out Tiger Claw Karate Dojo. It is free

Milk Fan, thanks for sharing.

Guess what.... she was right. Be cautious of taking advice from people how to raise your kids specially from so called "experts." Every child is different, and you will notice that as it grow up, it is going to do what it feels best for it. Same as when you were growing up.

Danielle, I am so happy for you. We have had two grandchildren born recently and they are so wonderful.

Exactly, amina. Just trying to get people to think about what they are saying and how it is received. Thank you for commenting.

@@LiveOnPurposeTV Understandable, and no problem!

Al May, so many have used that one.

I love that you get his permission. Awesome.

You are so welcome! AkaRuby, glad you are joining our community.

Nice Nathanael - let's give kids the tools to handle whatever comes up in the future as well. DrPaul

Nathanael Mallow Nevi s child Called Ashley

Me too - good to think our habits through a bit at times. Thanks for watching Farida Russel! DrPaul

Thank you for watching and commenting.

Prasad Shrivatsa, so true, and we need to have those experiences to make us the people we need to be.

Life lessons are really that simple, Patricia Lancaster. Reminds me of the book, "Everything I needed to know, I learned in Kindergarten."

Monica Lauren Lopez, honored to be on your team.

The honor is mine Sir, you make the world a better place 🌤

My pleasure - thanks for watching! DrPaul

I am so honored for your reply.... by the way, new subscriber here!

Marti Koers, good points, thanks!

RS thanks for your question. I think empathy is part of the answer here. If you can find a way to reflect back what he is feeling, sometimes that gives a chance for him to process and work through his own feelings. "I can see that you're frustrated" for example, without trying to change that. I think you might also appreciate the Parenting Power-up Audio Course I did with my wife, Vicki. You can get a free pre-listen here: parentingpowerup.com DrPaul

thank you for your reply!

I turned it into "are you okay". Then I tell him, tell mom. Tell me, are you hurt? Did you get hurt? I think its ok because he has started to hug me and even offer a kiss when hes done being scared over what happened. I usually know if Im doing something right cos he feels good about it and lets me know.

Stop treating kids like they're made of glass, they want to be talked to like they are regular people. If your kid is upset about something, ask them, point blank "what's wrong/what's going on?". And if they dont want to talk about it, dont push the subject just let them know that you're available and willing to hear them when they're ready to talk. And if you suspect it's something serious, throw in a "you can talk to me about anything, I won't be upset."

Thank you, Racheal Noble. Glad you enjoyed the video.

Nada Sheppard, this video was done a while ago, I can't remember if it was done on purpose. Haha. Good catch.

Thank you, @chibywallah.

Irene Tivz, binge away, no calories here.

Hey if you are looking for something for your kids to do check out Tiger Claw Karate Dojo. It is free

Yes, it does.

Jordan H, I love it. That is a great way to think about things.

Tamika Simeon, thank you for commenting. I agree, and at Live On Purpose we just try to get a little better every day.