Winning A Custody Battle - 3 Mistakes That Stop You From Winning A Custody Battle 

Isn’t it sickening that someone who’s never met the parents of a child, knows nothing about them or their lifestyle and has never seen or talked to the child decides their fate and how much a child should see both parents?

I went through a custody battle for my twin girls in so cal. Mom didn't want to give me joint custody but rather her have them and collect child support. I served her, went through mediation and then faced the judge and the judge granted me what I wanted, they were only 4 months old nd still granted me what i asked for. Soon enough she served me to reverse my rights, she lied and lied in her deceleration, our last judged past away so they assigned a different judge, again we went through mediation and faced the judge, the judge spoke to me only as she had a lawyer, ( both times) after she tried to talk the judge shut her up, yelled at her and once again I won my case. THEY are now 5 years old and I still have join custody, I don't know if it was luck, or things are changing now for men but I prayed and prayed and I believe God took part in what happend in that court room.

The fact that these guys are so jaded makes me feel like they have screwed over a lot of parents. Thanks for the insight and honesty though

It must be very hard on kids and parents to go through those kind of situations I pray for all those parents and kids🙏🤲🌷

What do we do when the spouse really is narciccistic and lies really really well. That scares me most. He is brilliant and can twist things so well that i dont even know what to do... Im left shaking and unsure how to prove that im being fully honest. :(

The basic point is no one cares the judge don’t care everyone at the court don’t care so just look credible as possible.

Your video really helped i felt like ending my life because without my son there is no life and i saw no hope from any side no matter what my family said it didnt make a difference i really thought i wouldnt see him again but your video and your advice has given me a new look and motivation to go a fight for him. Thank you! You dont know this or might not read it but you saved my life and my family alot of pain

What a brilliant video. Thanks for taking the time to make such informational videos.

Dealing with narcissistic parents vs accommodating parents.

this was very awesome. I'm going through something similar to this and it feels good to hear these words. I'm glad I didn't do mentally some of the things I was beating myself up for. It's so crazy how manipulative people can get with this. And I was just saying the other day it seems like it has nothing to do with the child it's just about greedy people trying to get leverage or power over someone else that they're no longer with. Thank you so much for sharing this

Thank you! 2 mediations and upcoming court- this is so valuable!

Thanks for posting this, very informative!

Great info! Thank you!

Thank you for talking about this. This is very important!

You responded with words of support to a comment I left a while back about a high conflict custody case. I want to let you know, I won my case.... at lease the closest thing to winning one can have. Your videos helped me remove my own selfish agendas from the case and only focus on my child. If it was good for my child, it was good for me I thought to myself.....personal issues with the ex I left off the table and never went down that road....she did....and just like you said.. it wasn't a good look. Your videos are invaluable to help those avoid destructive and non-constructive behaviors going through their cases. Your perspectives are worth so much more than money can buy. All people have to do is listen. Thank you.

Your videos always make me feel better..thank you.

Thanks, all great advise that is greatly appreciated

In a battle for my children right now an I’ve been hearing so many things it you both cleared a lot of my misunderstandings thanks and this is so tough but I’m just trying todo what’s right for the kids and thanks again

Thanks guys for your complete honesty

Great advice, thank you!

The fact that 280,000+ individuals have watched this video makes me realize that I should probably avoid marriage like the plague...

Thank you guys for the video! It has given me a better insight for how I can regain sole custody of my child. Can you guys do a more in depth video on custody situations like this but involving a relative that has the child instead of the other parent?

Love all your videos Thank you for your education and inspiring words

Love this video! Thanks for the tips!!!

Too bad I didn't know about any of this or you any sooner. Great tips you are sharing with your audience.

This is great advice! I have heard so many horror stories about disastrous divorces. My ex and I consulted an expert on how to prepare our children for the breakup. We also used third-party mediation, and that made a HUGE difference. We saved money, and we remained civil. Too often lawyers tell their clients not to talk with their spouses or do any negotiation on their own. I think that is a huge mistake to cut off our conversation and communication. Attorneys look on a divorce as a battle to be won rather than a puzzle to be solved. My ex and I still argue about stuff, but we don't FIGHT about it. We also try to remain flexible with respect to vacation and family gatherings. And, we put the well-being of our children first.

Thank you for this.

Great video! Very helpful

When my husband and I divorced ( and it wasn’t a pleasant separation) I’m so grateful that regardless of how much either of us were hurting we put the love we had for our children, first. We were not going to allow a court to decide how much either one of us would see our own children. We did have a schedule, but it was flexible. There was never a “ no, you can’t go with dad today, it’s not his day” BS. We used a mediator, not a court and I wish more people had that option or went with that as a solution. Our boys are grown now and have thanked us up and down for managing things as we did. Now that we have grandchildren, I’m so thankful we can attend family gatherings together ( I’m remarried) and our kids and grandkids don’t have the uncomfortable task of having two events and can enjoy their entire family.

I think people get so caught up in how mad they are or how much they hate the other person now that they aren’t together, they don’t even think about what’s best for the children only how they can hurt each other.

This video calms some of the worry of getting the ball rolling. Other videos make it seem terrifying. Thanks guys.

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH... True Gents. 💯

I'm losing hope. I just need my son to know he has a great mother who cares about his well being. I don't want him to grow up thinking he only had one parent. He has Two loving parents. They're hiding my baby 😞.

You guys are totally awesome! Bringing wisdom, thank you.

Very helpful and informative information.

You guys are so helpful!!! I sincerely appreciate the time and effort you both put into making this video. I feel very fortunate to have stumbled upon your RU-vid channel!

I would like to give a big Thanks for your Beautiful video clips i am sure that it would be a big help we re going thru this right now with our case of my grand daughter i will take your advice i am sure it will be a great help for us

actually watching all these videos for research for a chapter im writing for a book im working on

Thank you for your videos!!!

Thank you for your advice. It helps me refocus. I understand the power of love and it's a definite better choice to view circumstances from a different. You guy's have inspired hope. Than you for your great advice.. God Bless You Gentlemen.

Thank you for the video. What should I do when the other parent lies about how much time they have the kids?

Thank you for the help! It's scary going into court alone and your tips made me feel a little more confident. Do you have any tips for representing yourself when the other side has a lawyer? It is pretty intimidating knowing the other side has much more knowledge and experience about the procedures and laws when you are just starting to learn about all of it. I really appreciate your help!

I have 4 pending cases I didn't have 2 months ago, great insight boys thanks

This is great thank you.

When a parent says "my child is not safe over there" it is valid more often then not. Nothing to do with pride. Courts are behind the times when it comes to protecting children. Too often it's about working the calander/managing the case and not what is the best interest of the child.

Sounds like great advice However my ex partner is an emotional abuser and his game is to hurt me and in the process is hurting our son

Doctor Paul, I would appreciate it if you can consider the following two topics for future videos: how to discipline kids without getting in trouble with the authorities and how to encourage kids to take risks but keep them safe at the same time. Thank you in advance. I am more than blessed that I found your channel.

I believe this is great advise. Proven and documented facts are what courts use.

More please

Thank you for your advice, and dedication to helping people.. My kids father has not tried to see his kids in over 3 yrs and all of a sudden when child support is enforced he has filed for custody. I can't afford an attorney because I am unemployed and and providing full support of our kids. It seems like his attorney gets heard and gets what he asks for in court, and I am getting ignored when I try to speak up for the children. How is it ok for the father to abandon the kids for 3yrs causing mental abuse and still be considered custody? I know you said they have heard it all so many times but if I don't speak up the kids may suffer more. When he abandons them it is too painful on them and I have to step in, like everything isn't already hard enough being a single parent.

Thank you very much. Bob

Man I learn a lot. Thanks

These guys are making valid points. My son went through a custody battle for his son, the whole time he focused on what was best for his son. In the end he got sole physical and legal custody and the judge commended him for his focus on the child and not his ex-wife.

Wow reading these comments makes me sad, this world is truly selfish. My partner hasn't the right to see my child? And how about the rights and feelings of the child, does anybody care about that? Does he have the right to see his/her father/mother?

You have an awesome personality sir.

I just subscribed to your Channel keep up the good work love watching your videos

? what..... everything you have said my ex has done and I have gone through the FULL canadian court process including a full 5 day trial after 3 years. And nothing happened to the other parent and I am still being denied access. Despite a final order granting me regular parenting time and 6 weeks vacation time.

I’d love to hear more of your advice ...especially when the police chief is your husband’s cousin, and the judge is his golf partner. I maybe no one special, but I’m confident that I can tell you a horror story you’ve never come across.

Thank you ❤️

Thank you.

Thank you this is great help. I really think mom and dad have the same rights. My daughter is just happy every time she visit her father. He is such a great father. I would never take my daughter away from her father she deserves having a mommy and a daddy even if we're not together she deserves it all.

How do you win a child custody battle if the reason the child likes the other parent more is because they are more lenient and give them more freedom so the child gravitates towards that?

Thank you so much …..

Thanks for exposing the cancer in the system. Very honest feedback

Remember no one wins when the family fued

My dad is going against my mom in court. I REALLY don’t wanna go back to my moms house so I’m hoping my dad wins custody 😔

Attorneys are the best actors.

Thank you

How does one proceed with rectifying major issues of: One parent withholding the child from the other, cuts visits short of they get angry, refuses to discuss any visitation schedule, or doesnt involve the other parent on virtually every issue concerning the childs day to day life - medical decisions, religious views, daycare options, who the child is with, etc etc... And there is NO court order or agreement in place except for the verbal one btwn the parents that the other keeps changing and not abiding by? How do you go about such a situation?

It also depends on the judge. I know of a case where the father calculated his child support based on the New York guide lines and paid it every two weeks without an order. He recalculated it every year. I convinced him to stop paying in cash and to pay by check and write "child support" in the memo line. This worked fine for years until the mother applied for welfare. When she applied she lied and said she never got one cent in child support. When she went to court she claimed again, she had not received any money. The father had a box of cancelled checks proving he had been paying child support for years. What did the judge do? She recalculated the child support and said the father was delinquent and owed 18 dollars. The mother lied to welfare, lied to the court, and she had no consequence. This was a small county and this judge was known to be completely unfair to fathers in custody, child support cases.

This is extremely good, this confirms that my lawyer knows what she’s doing in instructing me.

Thanks for feeling the urgent needs to help correctify our approach and level of expertise when graduating the results together. Insightfully needing to find people like me to keep on the proper parenting track and charted graduation services.

Can you make a video of when one parent uses the law to gain advantage for child custody, like a temporary restraining order filled with false allegations? How does that work in a child custody evaluation?

So what do I do when my ex-wife has alienated the kids from me ? And it’s been 1 month since I have spoke to them. How do I continue child support when we aren’t communicating?

Videos are so important in 2019! More people need to be becoming aware of reality!

Hello, I couldn't help but notice this video. You gave some amazing pointers and some of which I am currently correcting to a refined state. I have to ask. In a situation where you were the care taker of the child and due to constant physical altercation, you move.. could the courts deem that as abandonment even if you have physical evidence of calls and outreach? She has sole custody and i would like to take her back to court to solidify some time with my son.. it's been a year and a half and I've only gotten to see him for one week with her around . Is there a way I could have a court order so that she could not be there?

My case of custodial interference was so bad that I was told the Custody Evaluator, Reunification Therapist, and the Judge had never seen anything quite like it before in terms of severity. It took over 4 years in my case and I will admit that 50/50 custody at the end (after almost none for years) was a bit of a shock not only to me but seasoned professionals as well, given my ex's verifiable behavior. BUT. HERE'S THE THING. All of these things are still helpful. Don't try to control things you cannot control. (Like the judges, your ex, evaluators.) Control your own behavior. PUT YOUR KIDS FIRST! I also know this judge dealt with more than one case of parental kidnapping and my ex's lawyer showed herself to be really aggressive, to the point an appellate court slapped them on the wrist and as seasoned family attorney believes several of the things that were done are potentially sanctionable. Best interest of the child also includes not potentially being kidnapped or worse. Is it a perfect system? Not by a long shot. But I am among many people actively involved in improving things. I believe the arrangement I have is much better than I might have gotten even 10 years ago. I stand on the shoulders of those who were strong enough to get involved with change and listen to common sense tips like this as a foundation.

Yeah. Stressful is absolutely right. My heart hasn't stopped pounding.

I am a grandmother of 2 special needs children who are currently with The Child Protection Agency ... I am going to court soon on behalf of these special children who cannot speak for themselves...as of yet, therefore, I will be speaking on their behalf and representing myself in this final court hearing for custody of my grandchildren ... I just turned 63 and am hoping this will not be a deterrent for me on this issue .. but I do have a criminal record (only one charge ..drug related by the time I was 56 in my whole life) ..I pray that this is not a predictor of the outcome for the sake of my beautiful grand babies, with whom I have a very special bond and love for ...thanks for the video ...so good to hear "unbiased" advice from you ...thank you for opening my eyes to some very important rules of the court room !

you hit the nail on the head with the cell phones and the games played where if the child/Teen doesn't get her/his way.........Hey Mom, Dad's being MEAN. Come get me. And she does. Then the mom tells the court the child is not comfortable at Dad's house because he's cooking something for dinner that the child does not want. But does the mom say that's the problem? No, she just says the child is "uncomfortable" and the judge says ok then. The father is a threat to the child. This goes on in MA courts, I never believed it until I saw it. How can the father get vindicated? He needs so much help up against the wall of coached children who's mother undermines all authority and uses visitation as a tool to torture him.

How can we stop the other parent from filing for emergency custody/full custody shortly after each custody battle? Shouldn’t this be a red flag to the courts? How can this continue?

These guys know their stuff!

You guys are pretty great

This video is very helpful . Definitely hiring a lawyer. But I’m glad to see we’re not the only ones noticing the judges are biased and believe bullshit story’s

I’ve been fighting for my daughter and lost to and 80/20 split. My ex decided to take my daughter to a therapist to talk about her issues. My daughter said her mom was in the meetings initiating the talks on how bad dad is. She took the report to court because the therapist said I was verbally abusive for scolding her about grades punctuality and not helping around the house. When we went to the mediator the mediator says to us as we walk in. I know how this is my dad was strict with me when I was growing up. So the mediator sided with moms complaints. Mom persists on making my daughter feel guilty about going 50/50 again because she says “ I fought for you” so now my daughter feels bad.

This is so true

THANK YOU

Can ya'll do a video on grandparent intervention in child custody cases. I ask this because I am a grandparent doing this now or rather trying to, we raised our granddaughter for 41/2 yrs and the father had nothing to do with her not a phone call not a Christmas card nothing he lies to the court his lawyer n gets emergency custody its a big mess that an 8 year is having to deal with he had absolutely isolated her from everything she has known in the past 4 years its been 102 days n still the judge has not heard my motion to intervene help any info please

Dealing with a narcissistic parent in court would be a good help

Hello Paul. Surprisingly that is my name as well. haha. I found your video one day on RU-vid and I was not looking for it. I just took a chance at watching and it was comforting and informative during this custody battle I am going through now. From what I hear this is the worst time to be involved due to COVID which has slowed down the court system. I have been at tears in the last few months because the court is taking so long to get a custody order in place. My ex is what one considers a vexatious litigant. She repeatedly files for a TRO and is trying to get full custody of our daughter. These filings are unwarranted and unnecessary. I have never hurt this woman, nor have I threatened her. She includes our daughter in the TRO and the judge has been granting the TRO to get to a hearing. The first two were terminated and the next was denied by the Judge. Now she has filed again, keeping me from seeing my daughter. I know inside and out I am a wonderful father as others can validate that as well. How am I going to co-parent with a parent with a vengence? Your video on co parenting suggest parents keep the two worlds but this woman is claiming I can't take care of a child because I don't follow her schedule. I am beat down and tired. I have troubles getting an attorney because they are so expensive, but because I do work I don't qualify for free legal help. This woman is the typical claw you to death type of woman. She won't stop until I am completely out of her life and our daughters. What can I do?

What do you do when the other parent as a step parent allows the child and enables your child to talk bad about you on social media ?? How do you bring that up in court and how do you go about it ??

Some parents follow the rule of the court.the kid is truly in danger, and wind up dead by the other parent, you two make it out to be a joke,some custody cases are TRULY serious!!

The lord knows we would not have to be here, preparing for the worst and hoping for the best... IF THESE PEOPLE WOULD JUST REMOVE THE EX ASPECT🤯 remove your pride and be selfless, work as a team

I feel better after watching your channel my daughter mom moved out of state with my kid without notifying me or telling me due to a problem she was having with her family so she say but I have joint legal and physical custody over my kid I’ll go to court on next week to try to get custody because she refuses to bring my kid back or let me pick her up

If at all can u help with a PRO BONO ATTORNEY FOR MY CUSTODY CASE...I LOVE THESE TIPS VERY IMPORTANT I'VE LEARNED HERE FOR SURE...THANK YOU

Thank You Very insightful informative video. So what happens when a 13 year old child who simply does not want to live with his mother.

QUESTION HERE: My wife and I just separated few months ago,. and after a month or two, i was just wondering why my daughter keeps telling me Im a liar, and dont want to talk to me anymore and in times i tried to met them she dont want to come near me. she's 7year old now. How do i know if they are brainwashing my daughter?

I can agree with a lot of this

The process for getting custody when the child resides out-of-state. Finding a lawyer and good consultation along with what documents or info will be needed.

Simply put, dont be a vindictive jerk. Be nice.