When you start dating, hide and seek becomes a game called ghosting... only nobody comes to find you. Stalk Me: ig: / swoozie TikTok: / swoozieftw Art by: Bandit
I was ghosted by my crush, but I didn't get the message until it was too late. A few months later, one of my friends (who I don't talk to anymore) said that my crush was talking about me with her friends, and I thought: She's making fun of me. So I texted her: "Did you say sh*t about me :)", and she said: "no why?". After a few things happened, I blocked her, then unblocked her because I felt guilty, only to see that she blocked me. She got a boyfriend, and I cried and was comforted by some of my classmates
Generally, I feel the best advice ((and not the easiest by any means)) is to not kill yourself over it, maybe relay a story of what happened to a friend and if they can't give you a reason for the ghosting ((or they can and it's just something stupidly inconsequential)) then just let the ghost go haunt someone else. You probably don't want anyone in your life who'd leave that easily to be begin with and you shouldn't be letting yourself lose sleep over something you can't control either. People be acting up these days, close your heart to it, do you and move on.
spoke straight into my fuckin soul. great advice and thank god i've been doing this recently. i ain't gonna give my time to people who cant even respond with a "hey".
I’ve ghosted people when I was in a very bad place mentally and just overall very sick. Mental health issues mixed with addiction was a huge reason I ghosted people cause I didn’t want them to realize how fucked up I really was. In reality, me ghosting people was super fucked up. I’ve gone back and reached out to those people to apologize if they wanted to hear me out, but for anyone reading this, know that if someone is ghosting you or you’ve been ghosted, there’s a chance it has nothing to do with you. Doesn’t make it right, but maybe it will help with the mental gymnastics it can cause.
@@valenmindIf you reach out someone later, you just simply explain the situation and reasons behind you ghosting someone. Proper communication is key.
I’ve heard from a lot of my female friends that they ghost because of the way some dudes handle rejection. They’ll send a nice “not feeling it, but best of luck” type of text and the dude calls them all kinds of nasty names so instead they just ghost. Sucks for people like me going on dates that get it, appreciate texts like that and have also sent the same types of texts. I’d much rather hear someone say it’s not going to work out then to have to guess.
@@nimbzclowd Ye, ngl, it feels the same as regular ghosting, just say “Yo, this isn’t going to workout (Insert reason here possibly)” but it is leading on and leading with no intention of going anywhere feels the same. What a waste of time, a precious thing.
@@nimbzclowdI don’t agree . We all know when the person is enjoying talking to us or not . If I’m answering you with one day delay and You seeing me post things you should get it
@@nimbzclowd friendly ghost isn't an alternative to saying things aren't working out, the friendly ghost is an alternative to full on ghosting. I'd rather someone who's avoiding confrontation do the friendly ghost than regular ghosting
sWooZie!!!! When I tell you I needed this video! A girl who ghosted me over TWO MONTHS ago out of nowhere hit me up this morning, but I've been avoiding opening the message. A few seconds ago, I was about to respond after getting up the nerve to do so. Then I saw this video appear in my recommended! I didn't open the message yet, but the notification bubble showed me the first few words "Hey, sorry it's been awhile. I've been so so so busy..." FOR TWO MONTHS?! Get the heck outta here with that... We had been talking daily for at least 3 months before she just randomly stopped messaging me!
my guess is that she had someone else but after 2 months it fell through so she is going after the 2nd option again lmao answer and then ghost her in retaliation
Nah, she got some other dude, went with him, but stuff's collapsed, so now she's remembered her backup, either reply with,"Oh, cool story" or leave her on read 😂
Lmao, I used to think ghosting was kinda just unacceptable behavior, but the I eat birds text chain after handing out the number incident, wow guess some people really are wildin', and Swoozie still had the manners to inform her why he ghosted years later, what a standout guy
@@palerider2132 not to be rude I’m not gonna listen to relationship advice from a furry, you called it childish yet your profile picture is a wolf with a wig and suit 😂
@bottle3124 There's a difference between playing pretend and being delusional. Most men and women are the latter. No one wishes to be responsible anymore. it's pathetic. Almost as pathetic as you disregarding what I said off the mere fact of a hobby I partake in.
For me, ghosting is always a last resort. Unless someone’s behavior feels like it could risk my health or safety (which has happened), I’ll try explaining to someone why I don’t want to keep talking with them. And I’m straightforward to a fault. And I elaborate a LOT (especially if asked further questions). So, if they don’t get it, that’s on them. Seriously, ghosting others is just such a scummy thing to do. And you don’t know what kinds of people are out there. You ghost someone, they know where you live, work, or frequent, and then they’re showing up to that place until they get an answer. Just tell people the truth. Yeah, it’s hard. Nobody ever said the right thing is the easy thing. But things will be better for both parties if you do.
I appreciate that you explain your reasons for ghosting! You're right that it isn't easy, but it has to be said. I recently had a friend do that for 9 months so I reached out multiple times and she finally told me why she ghosted me. Turns out she believed this rumor that wasn't true and blocked me after I tried explaining that to her. So like swooz said, ain't worth trying to fix that one!
Yea fam I tend to elaborate too but I guess that’s seen as overexplaining and I try not to say a lot but I would like people to get the full scope so there’s nothing left out and ever since 2020 everyone’s sensitivity is more tHan sky HigH so leavin a small minute thing is counted as lying so ye. And even if I am able to get my side across witH tHe elaboration, niggaz still disregard me so ye.
@@lynntran9522 the worst is when you get ghosted and blocked over a misunderstanding and since they blocked you you can’t even discuss it or see that maybe you both had the wrong idea. People ghost over every little thing these days
What sucks is that some people will ghost you for the smallest reason, like the person being ghosted isn’t being creepy or overbearing but then they’re wondering what they did wrong.
Just shared this with someone who ghosted me after a date. Things were going well, good conversations later that evening and the day after… then nothing. No warning, no reason for it. Just me scratching my head and wondering for hours what I did wrong. Call me petty or whatever, but ghosting is cowardly and incredibly confusing for someone who has done their best to do right by you. If for whatever reason you can’t be honest, then just make something up - it’s a million times better than leaving someone in the dark.
Some people are just energy vampires. They'll constantly hit u up, asking when ya'll can hang out, bombarding you with messages, etc. BUT- the moment you give them any *hint* of a rejection; suddenly you find yourself in a free therapy session, heavily reassuring them of their worth and all that. It's EXHAUSTING when you really just wanna be by yourself and relax with some ice cream for the rest of the day.
3:17 The thing about being "too nice" is that some people tend to be unnaturally "sweet" to the person theyre trying to date which, unless you're going after royalty, makes the other person feel uncomfortable, either because they can tell it's insincere or it's smothering them. Also, a lot of things people equate with "nice", like not wanting to take any risks, not having fun and not bantering a little with friendly jabs are actually just boring traits. People usually want someone that can at least keep their life at the same level of interesting it's at, and people who have too much of the above traits just can't give that
Most people don’t want to hear “I don’t like you and don’t wish to speak to you any more.” And it’s frequently dangerous for women especially to enter these conversations.
@@CandleAshes Yeah I relate to that. As a woman, it's hard to do. I was once straight up about how I felt and the guy stalked me. So sometimes, ghosting when you get the red flag can be easier. Not saying it's always best to do, but helps in certain situations.
my problem with ghosting is i legit never get to know what i did wrong. like I recently even got ghosted by a colleague of mine that i had no real interest in and they had no real interest in me either and we just shared memes and shit and now i just got blocked. 4 people in a row now and I'm still none the wiser which is fucking aggravating.
Being ghosted by my first love was a heart-wrenching experience that left me feeling confused, hurt, and abandoned. We had shared a deep connection, or so I thought, and I never anticipated the sudden and complete silence that would follow. Our relationship had blossomed in a whirlwind of emotions and shared experiences. We laughed, we cried, and we dreamed together. I reveled in the euphoria of young love, believing that our bond was unbreakable. But then, almost out of nowhere, it all came crashing down. It started with subtle signs. Messages went unanswered, calls were ignored. At first, I brushed it off, thinking that perhaps life had gotten busy or that something was weighing heavily on their mind. I gave them the benefit of the doubt, hoping that things would soon return to normal. But as the days turned into weeks, my hope transformed into anxiety. I began to question everything. Was it something I said or did? Had I unknowingly hurt them? The silence became a heavy weight on my chest, and my mind spun with a million unanswered questions. I desperately sought closure, an explanation for this sudden abandonment, but it was nowhere to be found. In my desperate attempts to make sense of it all, I retraced our steps, analyzing every word, every gesture, searching for any signs of trouble. I wondered if I had missed any red flags, if I had been too blind to see the cracks forming in our relationship. But the truth was that I had been blindsided. The days turned into weeks, and the weeks turned into months. The pain of being ghosted lingered, an open wound that refused to heal. I oscillated between anger and sadness, between blaming myself and blaming them. The unanswered messages became a constant reminder of the void that had been left in my life. Eventually, I realized that I needed to accept the reality of the situation. I had been ghosted, and I might never receive the closure I craved. It was a harsh truth to swallow, but it was a necessary step towards healing. I had to learn to let go, even though my heart still ached for an explanation. Over time, I began to rebuild my life, piece by piece. I surrounded myself with loved ones who offered support and understanding. I immersed myself in hobbies and passions, seeking solace in the things that brought me joy. Slowly but surely, the pain of being ghosted began to lose its grip on me. While the scars from that experience remain, I have emerged stronger and more resilient. I have learned that ghosting says more about the other person than it does about me. It taught me the importance of communication, honesty, and respect in any relationship. But most importantly, being ghosted taught me the value of self-love and self-worth. I realized that I deserved someone who would cherish and respect me, someone who would communicate openly and honestly. I refuse to settle for anything less. So, while being ghosted by my first love was a painful and confusing chapter in my life, it was also a catalyst for growth and self-discovery. It taught me invaluable lessons about love, resilience, and the importance of standing up for myself. And as I continue on my journey, I carry those lessons with me, knowing that they have made me stronger and wiser.
This was so incredibly well written that I find myself reading it twice. Even though you’ve come out on the other end wiser and more self-assured, I’m sorry you had to go through that. This person obviously meant quite a lot to you.. I’ve been there myself. I think it just goes to show the fragility of human connections in this day and age, and how easy it is for some of them to just fall apart unexpectedly… it’s hard to know who to trust sometimes. I guess the best thing we can do is learn from these experiences so that we’re better prepared for them when they happen again. Wishing you all the best!
If the likes didn’t prove it, this happened to me too, so you’re not alone in that experience. And yes, while that sucked, the new self-worth I got out of it made it a worthy emotional sacrifice considering I got into that relationship in part because I lacked self-worth in the first place. 😂❤
I've been single for over a half year now. And although I'm busy and sometimes overwhlemed with life, I'm honestly too lazy to deal with the dating process.
Regardless if you you're a guy or a girl, if you ghost someone without even having the guts to tell them you're not interested, it's very toxic and immature in my eyes. It just straight up makes you an asshole too. Even if I don't like someone, I just straight-up tell them I'm not interested and thank them for their time. That's like the least you can do as a decent human being. Don't be that person that go buys milk and never comes back and leave your kids wondering where their dad/mom went. Take responsibility and accountability and move forward, instead of just avoiding an issue and only think about yourself at the moment.
I was in the Disney College Program last year and while I was there I met a girl and with my friend’s encouragement decided to be bold enough to give her my phone number saying we could hang out some time. She ended up texting and we planned out a time and place. On the day of, I texted her a few hours early and said “Are we still on for today?” … nothing. Never heard from her again. Ghosted. This actually happened TWICE. With 2 different girls. Then one day I was on the program bus and I overheard a girl telling her friend about how she did something almost exactly like my situation to a guy, and she said, “It’s just so fun!” That really just made me sad cause I guess I was just that for two other girls. Luckily, though, I ended up meeting a super sweet and genuine girl that gave me her phone number, and we actually hung out all the time and got to know each other super well. We’re still dating to this day, and I’ve never been happier, cause I’m with someone I care about who truly cares about me back.
"If you never tell him, he'll never know" implies it's your own personal responsibility to teach every single weirdo around you how to properly "human".
I think people would be honest about why things won’t work or why they’re no longer interested if people were taught how to HANDLE REJECTION. You’re not gonna be everyone’s cup of koolaid. If we could handle rejection without going nuclear, I think ghosting wouldn’t be necessary.
Too many experiences of guys getting defensive if rejected, means ghosting feels a whole lot safer. I'm not saying ghosting is right, but is often not a reflection on that individiual but a reaction to past experiences
It's one thing to be ghosted by a rando on a dating app who you've never seen in person, it's another thing to be ghosted IRL by your best friend of 3 years without any explanation whatsoever. True story. And I know something didn't happen to her because I saw her in person but she ran away and posts things on social media. It hurt a lot
personally, i ghost people because people can be weird and have off intentions. and so once you’ve done/said weird things too many times, and it finally clicks for me, i stop responding altogether. i’m a firm believer in people know what they’re doing or saying and sometimes if you give people room to “explain” they will come up with anything 😭 just to keep you around
yeah nah I'll still find it strange if the person says they want to kill me behind my back regardless if they're pretty or not (I say this outta experience).
Getting ghosted sucks. I'd rather you be honest and say it's not gonna work out instead of just not responding at all, ESPECIALLY after going on a date and them being like "Oh I had a great time"
I ghosted my crush once, she was giving me the casper treatment and it was doing a number on my mental health, when I noticed how much it hurt and how far I was I had to block her in order to preserve my mental health
I’ve ghosted twice in my life, both times I told the guy I was uncomfortable multiple times and did not want to meet up in person but they would not take no for an answer. Eventually, I ghosted because it was like talking to a wall. I generally believe in being up front but unfortunately some people have the idea that being persistent is romantic.
I think if someone sends you a message out of the blue random, talking about their craving for birds, you have every right to ghost them with no explanation.
Had a friend who ghosted me out of the blue (everything was great) who messaged me again about a year later. Apparently, she fell into a deep depression and couldn’t keep up conversations with anyone anymore which was why she disappeared on me. She’s doing much better now, which is great, but wished she could’ve said something before just disappearing like that
I ghost a person once I've passed my 3 personal gates of hell: 1) I confront them but they didn't listen/or it escalated, 2) I realize weeks have gone by and I'm still losing sleep over it, and 3) just seeing their name/number active online on my phone or pc makes me physically upset
I do think it should be standard to criticise or explain why you and a person doesn’t work out, but I *fully* understand ghosting when a guy isn’t taking the hint, or makes you uncomfortable, or makes you feel like you’re in danger (or you genuinely believe you could be in danger)
I never knew what it was called until now. And I can say I have real trust issues because of this. my girlfriend is doing what she can to help me recover, and to start trusting again after being “Ghosted” on and off from literally every girl I’ve ever liked throughout my teen years. I’m very thankful for my girl for sticking it out and being a support I never knew I needed.
Most people have been ghosted and have ghosted someone which is insane, that just goes to show how uncomfortable people are telling others how they really feel, this should be discussed more because it’s actually a very common yet interesting issue, I don’t think anyone who ghosts other people are bad people but being ghosted is considerably worse than being told they are no longer interested in you, people tend to think of worst case scenarios so it’s a lot of mental turmoil
I’ve always tried to communicate when something isn’t working out, but some men become violent,threatening, or beg. I want to be honest, because I feel it’s the right thing, however when men do things like that it makes women pause. I can only speak from my experience as a woman who dated men. I’m so happy I’m married now and don’t have to deal with dating anymore!
@@julianrudert7779 it can still be psychologically stressful to receive threatening and angry messages over the phone Not to mention some guys get really determined and can start trying to track you down through social media
Also something to consider that I've found out the hard way moving from a blue city to a red city, sometimes it's just not your dating pool. And that's okay, you're just not surrounded by the type that seeks your type
Internet based society where many people aren't mature enough to communicate, or to take rejection. I hate ghosting but gotta accept it's gonna happen. I haven't gone super saiyan yet. Not even my final form.
0:34 I'm SO GLAD someone else said "being a hardcore racist" - the only time I specifically ghosted someone was for that reason. It was very clear he had ideas about Black people that I did not have the courage or energy to educate him about for the rest of my life. Sorry bro, wherever you are, hope you've read a book by now.
sWooZie always comes through with the videos I seem to need most. Like bro is reading my mind sometimes! Anyhow, I appreciate you man, great video as always 🤙🏽
I guess check another platform in case something happened to their account/phone number where you usually contact them. If no response then you might’ve been ghosted. Perhaps they thought you wanted something more (or were using you as an “emotional tampon”) and once they found someone, lost interest in you.
There could be a few reasons. They could be dealing with some things on their end. They could've been busy or weren't in a good headspace or forgot. In all honesty, it's probably this: they did have something else going on but don't think about you or value your friendship enough to respond. You're not a priority for them. I've been there before and it feels awful once you realize it. It hurts but it's the unfortunate reality of relationships: we don't value others as much as we should and we don't give them the time, energy, and attention they deserve.
Some women don't feel comfortable rejecting people because there are all those horror stories about stalking, etc. They ghost to avoid confrontation, because at the end of the day, how well do they REALLY know the person they went on the date with? Not condoning the behavior by any means. Just giving the female perspective as to why it may happen.
Lmao the third scenario is def what happens they find someone better or more attractive. I also think it doesn’t help when they ghost because like you said we have no idea what we’re doing wrong. But at the end of the day it’s a challenging thing I’m so glad I have someone, I’m truly lucky.
Ok the horoscope scope isn’t the only one Swoozie should find problematic, a couple of these are HORRIBLE reasons to ghost someone. Like the no tipping one, seriously? 😭😭😭😭
Just went through this for the first time two days ago after what I perceived as a good and amicable two months. Got blocked on all avenues in the dead of night. In a state of disbelief, I looked at her social media for answers. It was another dude, after she convinced me that I was the only one she was talking to. I don't wish this on my worst enemy.
I ghosted this tinder date because when we were eating he took food off my plate, that I was paying for my own meal, after he ate all of his food. Even though I have said before, food sharing with strangers, which he was, freaks me out.
Swoozie you never disappoints Alas I've ghosted and been ghosted. I've ghosted when a guy didn't take NO for an answer and got predatory obsessed stocker behavior, I always try to be straightforward with whatever person I interact but the dude didn't get the memo. I was ghosted when I was talking to the guy and everything seem to be cool, the minute I suggested an in person meeting the guy " died" 😂... I mean nada , zip, niente and girls if this happens to you don't beg or cry, know that you probably ditched a bullet 😉❤
I had a similar ghosting experience between me and a girl in College Biology last semester. We pretty much sat by each other the first three classes and then split. I am pretty sure it was something I said in the classroom that caused her to just walk by be without saying anything every time we see each other. It's weird and awkward but it's also frustrating , not knowing.
Instead of ghosting, try to see it as an oppertunity to learn how to deal with hard conversations/confrontations, so you have experience for when you need to confront someone important.
I think part of the problem with us guys (especially these days) is that we don't have any good role models to look up to or mentor us. Society has taught guys in general that being "men" is "toxic" under the guise of a certain social movement that in and of itself is toxic. So when males grow up not knowing how to deal with things, and not know how to handle things properly, you get the problems you've experienced (and sometimes more). We have to learn where there's practically no teacher. Also, ladies...us guys aren't mind readers. Being forthcoming and direct at times like these is always more valued than anything else. Also for both guys and gals, one thing I've found that causes issues is...noone really tries to spend the time to get to know one another before they take that next step. It's as if everyone is in such a rush to "be with someone" that it leads to all these issues. Just sayin'...
Tiktok dating advice is the worst shi is so toxic dawg😭 Only gon help u get the girl then once you start actin normal she gone cuz she aint want u for u
@@gmzJS I've heard of him, and have listened to his words. Unfortunately he comes off a little too angry. For some, that might be right up their alley. But for others, maybe not. While he does speak a lot of truths, he's not one I would say is the best role model. Not saying "don't listen to him," but rather...you don't have to mirror his persona. Find out and understand who you are. Take your time doing so. Don't worry about FOMO. Just live.
As someone who met his girlfriend in second grade and has been hanging out ever since, i am happy i don’t have to deal with the whole online dating and ghosting thing
I’ve had someone ghost me bc of my zodiac sign & ex gf broke up with me bc she had a “fortune reading” when in actuality another guy was better than me so instead of being a adult and be honest she accused me of infidelity along with the fortune reading on top of that
The being "too nice" never made sense to me. Same girls who say that are dating guys that dont care about them, cheats, abuse and they go around saying they hate ALL men, while never choosing the nice guy. Its super hypocritical
They want something exciting and intriguing. They don't want a guy who's predictable and boring. It's a weird combo. They want nice but not too nice, interested but not too interested, humble but confident, strong yet sensitive, emotional depth but not too deep, assertive but not too assertive, somehow accepts that she's an independent feminist but sort of isn't when she's with her man?
Could be that the guy is "love-bombing" which is a common abuse tactic. Being too nice early on is a huge red flag for this reason and most women have gone through that experience often which is why they tend to feel put off by men who are "too nice." Just take things slow and try not to smother them.
@@pizzatime9196 I see that phrase a lot these days and, quite frankly, it's mostly bullshit. The definition and angle that people describe as "love bombing" is NOT what it actually is. In all likelihood, it's a case where a guy is smitten with a woman and comes on too strong. It comes from a place of insecurity and anxiety. It's neediness, not narcissism. It's someone who's unfamiliar with relationships and love, had a lot of bad experiences with hard rejection, wasn't popular in school and doesn't get invited to many things. He may have issues with possessiveness and idealization, which means he should get help. But I despise this sentiment nowadays that every poorly communicated gesture, anything that might be inconvenient or uncomfortable, and all expressions of male weakness in dating and relationships are somehow sinister. Well over 9/10 times that "love bombing" occurs, it's because a guy is moving too quickly. He's insecure, needy, and just wants to be desired. It's not evil or narcissistic. But women hate insecure, weak men who are trying to pursue them. They can't stand displays of male weakness unless they're already in the relationship and he has enough value in her eyes. Don't get me wrong, I don't think it's okay to overload a new romantic interest with too much too soon. It's weird and creepy. It's too much. But so much of this "love bombing" that women talk about nowadays isn't exactly what they think it is.
This video came at the perfect time . I recently got ghosted. We just hung out at her bonfire Just the 2 of us and she said she invited me because she liked a lot of the comments I liked on her post. It was nice we mostly just sat there and talk but i tried to secure a second date and she just never got back to me. but I have noticed she's been gassing up my friend from elementary school. (were adults now) Even asked if she knew him and she said no. I've pretty much moved on from figuring that mess out but In the back of my head I'm just thinking "Was I really not worth 10 seconds to say you're not interested?"
I've honestly start doing tests to see if their ever going to text first. As if I'm the only one starting these interactions then it doesn't feel like their really interested in the first place.
That’s what happens when we live in a society where everything is so superficial. Dating apps, social media and the advent of the Internet has made us more accessible to each other than ever before and just as much alone.
Yep Because unfortunately there's too many masculine woman and feminine men we need to bring this reversed that why there's no simps man at all and stop giving woman who don't like you attention either dating will be great again also if there wasn't any social media 💀
I ghosted a guy who gave me the ick on a first date. He let the door shut in my face at the restaurant, he talked a lot, but when I talked, he’d go on his phone, and didn’t offer to pay (I always offer to pay for my own portion, but it’s a green flag to me if he at least offers, even if he doesn’t pay for mine). Dude immediately tried to set up a second date and I said I had to go. Kinda stalked me for a while at my job and I had to be walked to my car to make sure he wasn’t there. Ghosted him hard and he finally left me alone.
I let this happened to me twice with the same girl within 3 months....and then one of her best friends (we had a nonromantic relationship) also did it to me twice....it was painful
Ive ghosted on tinder where we havent had a conversation yet because it would be weirder for the first message to be just 'sorry I matched I'm not feeling it anymore' but i would never ghost someone I actually know
