Rebranding the Single Mom | Cara Lemieux | TEDxUrsulineCollege 

Screw all the negative comments...Good for you and hope you live a happy life with your daughter!

Did we call the father to help? Or did we just shut him out?

I was a single dad of 2. Living on the Canadian USA border in The Arrowhead of minnesota. It's wasn't easy. Parenting is tough. But think about the times you live in and the country you live in. You couldnt have it much better. Go forth and do good work. :)

I am to be single mother and as much as it hurts to bring a baby and raise him/her in such unfortunate circumstances, I can not immagine myself choosing death for my unborn child. I can not go to a clinic and consider it as a medical waste, like a cancer you want to get rid off. I will choose life for my baby!

Thank you for the motivation!!!! Finally something positive about the strongest women in our society.

Single moms coming for encouragement DO NOT READ THE COMMENTS. This video seems to have triggered a lot of people. Just do the absolute best you can, try to get the dad involved if possible, and find a support system.

I'm surprised at some really ignorant comments here. Thank God for single moms who actually choose life for their babies and dedicate their lives to raising their children. Babies are gifts from God. Who are we to judge anyone? Not all single moms were single when they had a child. Many are from broken marriages or serious relationships that go very wrong. No one should be in a bad relationship or marriage "for the kids", especially when there is abuse (in any form) or addictions. Think twice before you judge someone.

divorce rate is so high in this society. single patent homes outnumbered two parent homes. People are choosing single parenthood rather than choosing to stay married in an unhappy situation. Why dont we ask ourselves why dont men do the honorable thing anymore and marry these women. Why so many couples cheat on their partners. So many single moms are made through divorce because their partners who they love and trusted betrayed them. This can happen both ways. We are too quick to judge. There are single moms that work have careers and are providing for their children in an honorable manner. what about fathers who are not providing child support.Thats sad. Men not taking care of their families. In the end you often hear the child once he/she is an adult say in a proud voice I had the best mom. She raised me on her own, through her hard work and dedication she put me through university. I owe all my success to her. Im very proud that she is my mom. My father you asked I dont know where he is. I guess he wasnt man enough to man up to his responsibility.

'Let's re-brand single mother hood to seem less bad, so I can avoid taking responsibility for screwing up my child's life.' -No. No way.

The title is wrong. Here is the right one: Rebranding the thot. Guy, search for MGTOW.

We could rebrand "cancer"

I’m legit not even joking but her daughter is one of my dearest friends, she is in my class. I know most people won’t belive me but it’s like omg

Children in single parent homes are more likely to have depression. Children in single parent homes are more likely to do badly in school. Children in single parent homes are more likely to have bad relationships. Children in single parent homes are more likely to go to prison. Children in single parent homes are more likely etc.etc.etc in nearly all ways children in single parent homes are worse off.

Comments are depressing. So many dark and bitter people in the world its shocking!

I am so full of myself ... well educated me, got pregnant without planning to, with someone I did not plan to have a baby with and who did not plan to have a baby with me. Hence he Pumped & Dumped me ... but that was no justification for you being a self-centred dartboard, forcing a child to be a child to a single parent, especially not one that is so obsessed with feeding her ego.

I needed this video ❤️ thank you 💪🏽

Thanks for this. Too few people tell our stories from our own perspective. Much appreciated.

everything she mentioned about the struggle of being a single mom, is why you don't bang out of marriage. -rebrand it all you want, it doesn't change reality. -vote in benefits all you want, the state will run out of money that it doesn't have. rebranding the title attempting to avoid shaming. doesn't address or solve the problem. typical.

Single moms are nothing but a financial liability . Literally a man can be forced to pay for a child that’s not his just because it is in the “best interest.” Get rid of the professional mommy environment first and then we might feel safe dating them.

Thank you. I was crying the whole time. I have the same experience as you. And you really made me think about what I have been saying to myself about being a single Mom.

If there wasn’t child support there would be a lot less single mothers and a lot more children

There are so many methods of birth control, morning after pills etc. Women choose this.

Every single mom (except one) I know is a good mom or excellent mom. Better than some married moms. Their kids do very well or are grown now and doing better than average (med school, or success in the military, respectful, married sucessfully or doing very well independently). So, these stereotypes, I don't see any evidence that it's because of single moms, it's more about whether a parent is a good parent. Lots of people who are really screwed up came from homes that had both parents. I live in Oregon, but again, all the single moms I know are good moms.

Hey, single proud mom here. You have a choice, actually we have a choice as moms to have a baby or not, whatever the world says or whatever beliefs you have... I will not judge you.. Be happy if you choose to be a mom, it is a choice, regardless the situation, and celebrate your child's life. It is incredible how much love will come out of you for this single being, and be proud of it;). And also, please think of yourself as a whole complete family circle, nothing is missing, just different. You understand? Hugs whatever choice you make , you both deserve it.

This video has given me a fantastic marketing idea! I will apply dozens of coats of polish to a turd, and rebrand it as a 'must-have' item for any sophisticated man! I'll be rich!

I am a single mom. Actually, I am a mom! Regardless if you are single or married, your title is MOM.

Proud to be a single mother! And better off! Much love to all the single mothers out there you! May u make wise decisions for yourself and your child/children be content and most of all trust in God. He is the only one you truly need ❤ 😊

I always fail to understand the negative comments and wonder why people are so quick to have a generalised belief that a child raised by one parent is negative for all children. There are dysfunctional children that come from both single parent households and households with two parents. I feel that the point being missed is that a child needs to be nurtured and have strong boundaries and positive role models whoever that may be. There is an agenda that has been pushed by the media that single mothers are negative and its mainly small minded people who buy into this fallacy, in just the same way that small minded people support all other labels that create discrimination and harassment towards what they fear or hold hatred towards. The data and information that we receive is inconclusive, it is important to understand not just the data we read but also the agenda behind the data, as data can be manipulated to fit a desired outcome in order to arrive at a specific conclusion.

Someone seems full of themselves. "Well educated, career driven" blah blah blah.

The comments should be disabled. Way too much negativity in this world. Everyone should mind their business and not speak negatively about other people’s lives and children. Single mothers and fathers and married mothers and fathers are all great parents. It’s about how much you love protect and provide for your baby.. not your marriage status or age.

I´m a single mom and I totally know what you are talking about! thanks for the message.

Men go MGTOW.. run 🏃‍♂️ from Single Mothers and Feminists..

I want my 60 seconds back 🤦🏾‍♂️

all things i see about single.moms are negative, is like we were society crap. hear this woman just make me feel good. That im not a failure after all. i just love and take care of my little one just like married moms. and after all,why nobody talks about the men who abandoned their children? why womans just get all the bad things?

Why would any man of value date a single mother, when they can date their daughter?

70 % of the hard core criminals in jail are what? Raised by single parent mothers.

Single parents deserve respect

Good for you overcoming!

I hate the movies Tyler Perry produces about single mothers. It is ridiculous. You did a great job!

stop glorifying single parent households. Its important for children to have both parents in their life however, according to factual statistics kids raised by single fathers turn out better than kids raised by single mothers

Rebranding single moms "Just don't do it " or " Just don't a marry single mom "

Having a child without being married oes not make someone a bad person or worthless.. We choose our lives, we design it, the way we want it to be like.. We are all born free, like a blank paper then you can write whatever you want. But all of us need to know, every decision we make will bring some good or bad effect into your life.. Remember Newton's third law "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction".. so is with life.. People have freedom in their lives, as adults you can do things in your life, now if your decisions make humiliation into your life or the way people look at you, just accept it was your decision, noone is responsible for that.. Now whatever has happened, accept it, and move on with your life, stick with your responsibilities.. Its a great decision to raise a child than to kill it.. But then your child should be first priority in your life, there you might have to sacrifice your desires but remember its what you chose.. The thing is people are young and they are in an urge to have a physical relation just thinking its a normal biological thing.. dont even think about the consequences.. But a single decision can change your whole life.. my belief is when you have a physical relation with someone, be sure this is the person, who deserves you.. what is the value we give to ourselves if we are ready to have it with some friend or some other person.. when the right person come to your life, you will regret for what you did.. You always need to wait in your life for the right thing right people, take right decision.. Btw the no offending to single moms out there.. Take care of your child, they should not suffer for any reason, they didnt choose to be born here, its not their fault..

She's addicted to cheap liquor and hard "D." That's basically the summary of this TED talk. I hope her daughter doesn't become a criminal cause that's what single moms raise along with other single moms 🤫

Why do they have a kids with men who don't want kids. It's pretty simple math. The blokes not gonna just magical love you after a baby comes. He may end up loving the child but don't be upset if he wants nothing to do with ya.

Why did she have sex with out birth control ?

Wonderful talk. Thank you!

Thank you, much needed x

You are your biggest challenge.. You are how you respond.. Indeed. ,☺️

Cara, this is a heart felt and compelling topic!

Rebranding = Lying Reality should be accepted for what it is. If you are a single mom, you most likely enjoyed certain privileges and experiences that people who kept it in their pants have not been able to. Newton's third law, every action has a reaction. Although it may not seem like it, life balances itself out. Nothing in life is free. Everything in life has benefits and costs. Just accept it and don't try to sugarcoat things or present things untruthfully.

"Well educated and smart" yet gets pregnant unwantedly.

Undatable & disposable category

Power to all single mums

Interesting how she never really speaks of what the dad went through.. Does anyone even care about that? She didnt even have the decency to bring it up.. Am I the only one who sees this?

OK, how about this. . . "Single Mothers, Vanguard of Social Decay and Anarchy" "Destroyers of America" How's that for rebranding?

Thanks for this message.

it was never easy being a single mom... never.... more over for the one being a single mom without marriage... it never get easier but we will get stronger... that is the only way to move forward

Good, courageous talk...thank you.

She reminds me of a car salesman trying to convince a potential customer that the worn out one with bent rims, that backfires and has gears that grind is the best one on the lot.

For the people that have negative things to say...who hurt you??

i watched this as a homework assignment and it truly resonated with me... Thank you for this.

Rebranding? Taken as a whole single motherhood is the single greatest predictor of a future life of failure for the child. I respect her individual effort to correct her own mistake of getting pregnant, but that needs to stay well to herself.

Single Mother =/= Pump & Dump =/= Dartboard =/= Dysfunctional Family (Burden On Other Tax Payers.) =/= Poor Role Model.

But who chose to have that child not his because if it was the other way around and you wanted to get rid of the kid the father has no say. So you put your self in the position now deal with it

Perfect!

The video editing of her going in/out of focus is so distracting -.-

This problem is real. The women I know can not have children and build a career with ongoing education. Assuming the father disappeared we must ask ourselves if we need to help this women or not. Someone needs to produce and raise children. The alternative is immigration and that has issues also. I agree that women should look for cheaper living cost than NY. But there are probably other reasons preventing that. Going to a new environment can be scary. Crime is a big concern. Some women can do everything but many can not.

Thank you 🙏💞

What about abortion as an option? Then have a child with a loving husband? So selfish to put a child through such a struggle.

Typical. She doesn't need to be accountable for her recklessness - society needs to change instead. Society is bloody doomed. Wake up women for fucks sakes!!

This is all about the mother, what effect has this had on the child? At this point in time, there are extremely effective methods for birth control to help you manage almost any hormonal reproductive drive. You had your chance to do that and didn't. And you are not the same as a married mother in a functional family. You are half a parent, and you are introducing an extreme amount of risk into the life of your child, and you want to be told that its OK. You seem to think that you just need a social makeover, that negates all of the very reliable social data we have on single-parent households. I get that you are doing the best you can, but that in the end is likely to not be good enough compared to a functional two-parent family. But you are not an amalgamation of stats, you are a data point, and time will tell whether you transcended the negative outcomes or not.

Realistically men of value do not date single moms and women over 35, advice to women in their 20s find a man who will stay, lower you expectations becuase men you beliecve have value are generally not going to settle down since they will have options, and can play well into their 40s until they feel lke settling down

Almost 5 years since this post....update....cmonnnnn, be honest.

I can do this....my tagline

You're not worth anything by default and you don't "deserve" anything.

Thank you for this wonderful speech

Im crying listening to her story.. Because i had way less in still pushing through.

She must have had her wicked way sportsnews guy after all

Nothing you can do about it

Great talk!

Raising a child alone is a blessing and the tough days/nights vanish when your child smiles. :-)

Who in their right mind talks about a single parent? I doubt it was a choice on most single parent homes to be single and raising a child... Do the people who talk about single women or men raising a child on their own have the same big macho attitude with the people who helped put them in this situation? I am just curious how big and bad is the person who puts down a woman raising a child and can not muster up the courage to take it to the dead beat men and rapist and or just realize it may of been a choice to be inseminated or adopt a baby that they could give so much on their own without the help of another person to get up at 4 am for feedings sleepless nights that they took on and no one helped them. Maybe the people who talk are just talking because they would not be strong enough to do half the job let alone the whole thing. Single Mom's and Dad's deserve allot of respect for being the one who did not give up on their child! "Dysfunctional"

Low resale value.

Cara you are wonderful!

Brand it however you like but ultimately single motherhood is a statistical train wreck. There are always exceptions to the rule but on average children do best in an intact nuclear family. Yes, there are single mothers and fathers who do an awesome job, and yes there are dysfunctional intact families, but most of the time, single motherhood is a bad scene for all involved.

This was utterly worthless.

LOL NO

The ignorance in the comments section is overwhelming

Nailed it!

never meetup with single mom, risk vs reward

Smh you just flat out can't defend single moms. No decent man is going to believe the lies or accept the mistakes.

You know what would fix this? Marriage before sex. Like God intended.

SMBC! 😞

You can't rebrand irresponsible!

...how come just like married moms /dude u are not married

Divine Being raising another Divine Being. Branding is for cows (hope not anymore 🙄)

A great talk - YES! Please - let's rebrand the single mom!

Nike and New York times ? What a joke

Intuition wasn't working that year apparently.

Bahahaha LADIES listen it's the same ish when your married minus the big baby who called HUSBAND....the only difference is income but even then they spend most their money on themselves electronics cars ect.......there are a are unicorn men but um regardless momma's are the nurturer no matter what yeeeeeeeet be careful who you birth with cause you don't want your baby feeling unwanted