I know we're only human. We make mistake. And i know im throwing my future away if i don't move on. But i can't. Whenever i thought of what i did, it consumes me completely and it's all i can think about. I can't let it go.
I have done so many things that are irreversible, most of them were under my control and I messed up. I'm most likely exaggerating, but I cannot get over it. Regrets are much harder to forget than I thought they were.
It is only when you recognize that you don't deserve to suffer anymore and that your suffering is unfair from the guilt and regret that you learn to let go
Often when we regret we assume what we have missed would have been awesome. But we don’t know if it would have, and we don’t consider the things we avoided which could have been awful. Catastrophisation makes things so much worse.
hey, i know this must be a very hard time for you. i know that because i'm going through the same thing. i did something horrible and it seems like i'm gonna be depressed about it for the rest of my life. but you have to forgive yourself. we are people and we all make mistakes. that's not an excuse, but it's true. a bad person wouldn't feel bad about it. our mistakes don't define who we are. spend time with the people you love. focus on things you love. keep making this world better by doing good deeds. it won't make up for what you've done, but you have to start from somewhere. and always remember this: who we are today doesn't define our future selves. your fate is in your hands. you can spend the rest of your life feeling sorry for yourself, you can waste your time or you can actually do something about what's hurting you. i hurt someone i deeply care for and i wish i was dead every day. but past is in the past and we have to let it go. be positive about what's to come. wish you good luck.
Trust me biggest regret u can ever have is not being with your parent and saying how much u love them and then they die,and u cant see them or tell them and u werent even there,there is nothing harder than that kind of regret,u will fall in love in many girls and u will forget them an dmove on and u will always find another job but u will never find another mother or father which loves u more than enything in world,pls go right now and be spend soem time with them if u love them.
I nearly lost my dad back in June. Had an issue with his brain and if he wasn’t in hospital at that exact moment, he would have gone into a coma, we would have assumed he was sleeping, and he would have died. I have spent every waking moment telling him just how much I love and appreciate him. I finally got to know my dad after 21 years of being alive and I am so thankful. I’ll never take this second chance for granted
I've recently made the worst mistake I've ever made, there isn't a minute where I don't think about it. I would do anything to go back to that moment and change what I did. I completely own up to my mistake and I just hate myself now. I'm so sorry for what I did, and I'll never feel the same about myself again
I tried so hard letting it go, the mistake I did. But the guilt just never stops. Even though I know I should be moving on, it's like a thing I can't control. I'm hopeless
I made a huge mistake, whenever I think about I don’t recognise myself anymore… I hurt someone that I love and I can’t even express the pain that I’m feeling right now… Living like this is not worth it, I can’t stop thinking about my mistake, my life as become a nightmare… I need help
same thing i did... crying helps me but it is what it is think of it as a lesson and just accept the fact that your loved one needs to stay happyy so don'tt try to hold on to them... and don't ever think of anY Extreme step please it will pass yes it will you will cry and feel humiliated but it will mmake you stringer and a lot more loving person
@@hyperchaotix32x Feeling a lot better now, I’ve been in therapy and that helped me so much. I decided to talk to my girlfriend and she forgave me. Actually she said I needed to stop beating myself up because she could see I was hurt. Reading my old comment after all these months made me realise how hard I’ve been on myself, everybody makes mistakes, it helped me become a better person.
Same and i hated myself for that why im just observing and cant do anything or trying to change the situation i act like idgf but im burning inside my soul is suffering till today and i cant let go
I messed up in a way that nobody knows. My dad told me recently that I've been acting different over the last couple days and it's because of my regrets. I feel like a bad person, which is the exact opposite of someone I wanted to be. At times it feels like nobody's regrets are as bad as mine. I'm only 18 and I'll be 19 here in the next couple months but I don't know how to move on. I need help.
I don't know if you're letting your age get on top of you but don't! I'm 27 and each year of my life I felt like I was 'old' and when I look back I cannot believe how young I actually was
@@katelynbrown98 I don't deal with it very well! I just try and think of each day and try to do something I need to do that day. It's so hard, how do you deal with it?
I also made a life altering blunder, a loss that cant be recovered, I feel like my life wont be the same again. I lost it completely now and my life has no meaning.
I find myself thinking about life threatening mistakes I made when I was a teen. Drinking and driving. I never got in an accident but I obsess over what might have happened. It really is amazing how your mind grabs on to something and won't let go.
I made a big mistake and I regret it so much, it weighs me down. The mistake made me lie to my friends and family because I was so ashamed of what happened and what I did I’m trying to fix it.
If you've ever done anything you regret so much, and it seems impossible to fix, take a break. Go do something else. Take yourself out, take a nap, sleep. Because when you come back to it, you'll have fresh eyes. Works for me.
This was comforting, though I don't know if my actions deserve forgiveness. I spoke in a very vulgar and inappropriate manner to a girl I held strong feelings for: In the moment, I had wanted someone, something to accept me in an intimate manner. She, quite rationally, was disturbed and informed her boyfriend, who now despises me. I don't know why I lack self discipline. I don't know how to forgive myself for what I said. Suicide seems more of a convenient escape from this weight of regret and guilt than anything else. I don't know what to do other than apologize and hope. I'm terrible.
Mob Destroyer I hope you found a way to apologize or apologize thru changing your behavior in honor of your desire to be different. You are worth living. I hope you are still alive.
+ Mob Destroyer You are just human! I've been thinking on regret over the last few days - I regret not getting job in high school and not leaving a University experience last year that I did not enjoy. It would have been better if I had left uni in favour of getting the job I would have enjoyed. This also would have helped me get to know the girl I had a crush on in the final year of high school. I still haven't gotten, yet, but I'm getting there!. I hope to have feelings for someone again like I had for her (except the envy I felt over her having a job, car and licence (a.k.a. relative independence and freedom of movement) while I had none of these. That was painful).
Man trust me, there is redemption for you, what you did isn't that bad. I've done a terrible thing and don't know if I can keep moving forward but I'll try... it can be worse man you are good.
I just made a video on apologizing to myself for all the things that I allowed to happen or relationships I was in. It's a daily practice and we all deserve to free ourselves. We are often our worst jailor.
I didnt uncrazy myself fast enough to have a husband, a family, and a loving , rich personal life. I wasted away a lot of my life. Ive worked hard and went to school. I have high student loan debt. Ive been a coward all of my life. Im almost 50. I feel as lost as I did at 25. Perhaps a deep flaw is in my spirit. Its hard to be ok with that. My life…. Im picking up some threads to finally try and create a life after a lifetime of fear
I feel like a terrible person sometimes I know I’m human but I’ve been working on myself for 3 months but I went back to my old ways. I wish I just kept going and didn’t do what I did but it sucks how I self sabotage myself n consider others but still do things my way… i feel ashamed and the people around me deserve better
Serenity Prayer: God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change (the past), The courage to change the things I can (me), And the wisdom to know the difference. For me it is seems easier to focus on what I can’t change (my past with someone) than it is to change what I can (me). It’s much better in the long run to do the opposite.
This pandemic drove my passion away from me. High school was my Biggest chance getting a scholarship, but I got injured before junior year and struggled in varsity that season. After season I gave myself the goal to improve my physical state and mental. the pandemic was a huge let down and I got no motivation. I tried reaching my goals but i couldn’t bear the teams thoughts of me because I looked overweight, I’m being made fun of for being sad or getting slammed for ruining the moment. Nobody understood me, but importantly I just wanted to be at my best because I love playing and forget their opinions but that overcame me and blamed myself for not trying again and again. So I made the decision to not play this final year and I felt so much regret I didn’t want to leave at all but the team didn’t give me a choice. Nobody at all ever checked up on me as to why I didn’t come back, or if I’m okay nun of that just pure silence. and they won league again this year and it hurts more because I could’ve been there if I tried to not let my emotions get over me and idk that’s what I feel my biggest regret up to today is
Listen everything happens for a reason you might have a better future ! than this League a better body than this ! but remember don't regret is just a phrase but actually doing that is pretty hard but trust me it all worth at the end ! not regretting saves you from soo many bad and negative days !! may you get a better future and not a regretful life ✨
Similar situation to me. I ran cross country in middle school but quit it freshmen year. I went back senior year and had a great year. I wish I could’ve even had just one more year to improve. But I’m stuck thinking of what could have been.
answered a question wrongly in an interview, lost a $40k/yr software development job. i cleared all the previous round so easily. i was soo lucky. but at the end it all went down the drain. it hurts me soo much that it made me physically sick. it's hard to live with this regret. so painful.
But you have the skills to be considered for that job and got so far in your interview, that's fantastic. Most people wouldn't have even been interviewed as most of us can't code. You can get another job in that field, or go freelance.
i just missed my greatest career opportunity because im too afraid to bear it, that time, i cant sleep and always overthink, then i decided to not take it..now i regret it, if i brave enough to take it, maybe my life will be guaranteed..what should i do ? :(
@Gerd Wiesler Dude trust me biggest regret u can ever have is not being with your parent and saying how much u love them and then they die,and u cant see them or tell them and u werent even there,there is nothing harder than that kind of regret,u will fall in love in many girls and u will forget them an dmove on and u will always find another job but u will never find another mother or father which loves u more than enything in world,pls go right now and be spend soem time with them if u love them.
I didn't do well in exam though I could have and no it's not because of lack of practice or overconfidence but self doubt. I got the right answers in the first attempt but changed it thinking this can't be it . And in the past month, too I did the same beacuse of self doubt. I regret it. I have estimately lost 30 marks i.e. 6% in my board exams ( which is very important in India ). And I have more 5 papers to go but I'm not able to concentrate on them.
I am in the same situation as you. I did horrible in exams and now I HAVE to get the best grades I can to go to school i want. Its very very hard and i understand your struggle. I hope you'll be fine.
Many good points in this video. The only point I disagree with is the Deathbed approach in combination with the recommendation to not play it safe. It assumes that risky decisions with a potentially higher payoff would have actually turned out alright. However, this is often times not the case. Example: Deciding to quit a job and become an entrepreneur. Most people fail in doing this. They lose tons of money, destroy career opportunities and may suffer further consequences (i.e. divorce). They will actually regret not playing it safe.
Never knew that being insecure of my teeth can cause a chain reaction of bullying, deciding to get braces, it going wrong and teeth and even facial structure getting messed up, being more insecure, guilt trapped, regret, anxiety, depression and being suicidal!!!! This world is not fair, and an unfair world is not for me!
Ur teeth can be fixed anytime...if it has gone wrong once..u can have braces again...bt this time chose the orthodontist wisely after asking for opinion frm people who have had braces before...dont let ur teeth stop u from living the life u want! Its a matter of maximum 2yrs of treatment!Then u can have ur confident self back...So go for it!
She came to me in the sleeping hours And she sang to me in the moonlight: "Where did you dance when you baffled our chance, And when did the motley bells chime?" I summoned a verse from a chorus of blame, But it drowned in the ghost of her song. He came to me in the sleeping hours And he called to me in the moonlight: "Why does the fold now weep to behold, And how does it feel to be free?" I tendered the words from the tears of the same, But they dried as the dawn came upon. They came to me in the sleeping hours And they whispered to me in the moonlight: "What did you reap when you floated the keep, And whom did you trust with the key?" I buried my head in a cushion of shame - And I woke to find them all gone.
I made a decision to end a 6 years relationship because I felt like I was not heard and I was misunderstood all the time my voice didn't matter that much, to my knowledge I tried to make things work but nothing seem to work in the relationship I was made to believe that I was always the wrong one and made to apologize for almost all the bad things that happened in the relationship and believe me I did even though I knew I was not wrong but I wanted peace which I never got I felt emotionally abused with the words which were constantly said to me. I finally managed to end it even though I was blamed and called names the person was also cheating but that was not my main problem. Sometimes I feel like I made the right decision but sometimes I ask my self what if I made a mistake Sometimes I just feel like I should have endured the pain and maybe one day it was going to be better which I doubt. I felt blamed when I left not only by him but family as well I felt like no one understand what I went through and what I was going through at the time. I feel like sometimes I just need someone to come and say you did well because I am not sure if I made an emotional decision or not but deep down I think I did I just need validation from people which I know is wrong this happened 3 years ago and I can't talk to anyone about it anymore because people assumes I have moved on. I want to move on I want to forgive myself and a part of me just want him to come and apologize and tell me I am not crazy like he always said it hurts and I feel like it is taking away from my life. Why can't I just move on I can't afford a therapist that's why I am writing this thing here I am trying to let go of the guilt of ending the relationship I don't think I regret it but I do feel guilty and it is not a nice feeling. I generally consider myself a nice person I put other people first and I feel like the guilt comes from knowing that I have caused someone pain and it doesn't sit well with me. I know I just wrote things which were coming out of my mind in no particular order with no paragraphs but I hope someone relates and give me some advice and English is not my first language so pardon the mistakes. Thank you in advance I hope to smile ☺ again.
Man it's 2 years later but I just read this reply - hope you're doing well nowadays. Change is painful but the greatest pain is being stuck in a place we don't belong.
Back in 2015, a beautiful girl shown some interest in me, later I started to love her but I never expressed it because I have autistic traits and I find hard to overcome those, she tried everything, she showed hints and clues but I pretend like nothing happened because of my inability to show my love, after some months she was committed in a relationship with a senior guy, I was devastated, I can't do anything other than crying about why I didn't tell her, 4 years I saw them everywhere, they hangout happily holding hands, always together but after some years I told her my love through text, she responded that she is in relationship with him and said, "you will deserve someone who will love you as much you loved me", but still when I think back 4 years ago, I cry, still I regret that, " why did I missed her?" Any solution to this problem?
At least you told her. I have similar situation with a guy I didn’t tell him I liked him and now he has a girlfriend, but I still want to tell him, so I can feel at peace, I could message him but I feel that would be weird, I hope to do it in person. How did you feel when you told her?
@@sundar9364 I did it, I told him yesterday everything! I cant believe I finally got it out it feels like a weight has been lifted! His response was so nice! I'm glad I did it, I had to listen to my gut! I feel more free everything is out in the open, and I feel like I can move forward properly!
I’ve lost some very important friends because of poor beliefs and pettiness regarding those beliefs when I was younger. And as much as I still have good friends, losing those other ones still pains me terribly. Hopefully I can move on someday
A very articulate speaker. Thank you for preparing such an important topic that affects us all. Indeed, I did all I could, I am doing all I can. The last 60 seconds was an effective closing to your well thought out presentation. Lots of food for thought moving forward. Eastern Canada during Covid.
Hey, well try me. I was once taken to my boss's office--with her and her chef colleague--for touching my coworkers too much ( *_casually,_* on arms or shoulders). I was always very outgoing and tactile at work. The chef told me that we need the workers to be comfortable in a good work environment. That I shouldn't talk about anything other than work and school or tell my stories, because they may be inappropriate or upsetting (can't remember her exact words) to others. Now yeah, I pretty much didn't have a filter, but I don't think I said anything *_horrible._* I only meant to have fun with my crew. I really didn't get specific information from the chef about subjects and references. She likes that I'm outgoing, but she made it sound risky and in need of limits. And again, that I shouldn't touch anyone without consent. I own my mistakes at work, but I don't want anyone twisting it around into I'm making the chef the only bad guy. I didn't _mean_ any harm or discomfort. If I had known anyone would feel either, (though technically no one showed signs), I would _not_ have touched them. I am not a creep. But the chef made me feel like one. See, she shouldn’t have been so firm and in my face. A gentle, respectful talk for a couple minutes was all I needed. She shouldn’t have restricted me to handshakes only. Casual taps or pats or whatever are actually ok, as long as you don’t overdo them and it’s to friendly people who clearly enjoy you. I always thought it was perfectly innocent and natural, and I still do, in certain ways. Happens a lot at the bar parties I go to-total strangers. Besides, two middle-aged workers from the dining department have done it to me; I don’t condemn it. Also, the chef did not have to ask my boss if there was anything she wanted to add. How did she think that would make me feel? Not disrespected and like a criminal? HeII, my boss shouldn’t have been in the room at all; I deserved some dignity and comfort. I felt horrible. But of course, whenever I expressed this side on other videos, people would continue faulting me or saying the chef was right. To them, it was this side over the other. I felt like no one understood me or the gray areas I still think exist.
Yesterday I was a at a baseball game, a ball came up in the stands and rolled to me and I got it. There was a little girl infront of me so I gave it to her. I am not a huge baseball fan, but after telling some of my friends and family about it, they are making me regret giving her the ball. I really just wanted to be a nice person, but now I wish I kept the ball.
Its okay ..you didnt did any mistake because you kindly gave it to her and i appreciate it 😄....look you know my story..i lost my bat because i kept it somewhere outside my house and in your case atleast you gave it to someone in a kind purpose
I just passed an exam I was 90% sure I would fail. In the middle of the test, I had the choice between giving up and the exam not counting, or getting it graded with 90% chance of failing. Taking the exam more than once is an option, so it's not like I'd lose anything by failing it. But what did I do? I decided to give it up. It was a really important exam. I can take it again, but I wont have passed on time for what I need/want to do. I have to wait 1 to 3 more years. Anyways. I regret it. Just wanted to put that out there:)
The title of this should be renamed "How To Not Have Regret" because it does nothing to help someone overcome the regret they do have. Or you could rename it "How To Get Over Your Boo-Boos" because this guidance would not help anyone with true shattering regret. Sorry, but that's how I see it.
I feel like I have shattering regret over every small thing I do or don't do. If it ever comes to regretting something major, I sure wouldn't cope. The torment may be so great that I would completely lose the will to live.
I agree 100%. I've got one huge regret for something I did and I cannot reverse it, correct it or take it back. I prolly would've killed myself by now if it wasn't for my religion and my family. It comes back on an odd day and when it does the guilt and regret multiplies. To the point where I feel like the worst human alive and wanna cry but don't have the ability to. This video didn't give any advice on how to deal with my situation.
Regret Is Enslavement: the Opposite of Enslavement Is Opportunity. 😶. 1. "Regret is the emotion of wishing one had made a different decision in the past, because the consequences of the decision one did make were unfavorable. Regret is related to perceived opportunity." Wikipedia 2. Exhaustion Etymology: "early 17th century: from late Latin exhaustio(n- ), from Latin exhaurire ‘drain out’ (see exhaust): Exhaustion Definition: "a state of extreme physical or mental fatigue, the action or state of using something up or of being used up completely, [Logic] the process of establishing a conclusion by eliminating all the alternatives." Respectively. Tanika Nakeya Lewis, 6127
I made a huge mistake and i have this huge feeling of guilt and thoughts of what could've happened if i didn't do this and it won't leave i don't know what to do i'm too young to be this stressed
@@pumpkinseb666 let’s talk about it rn. I’ll go first. I’ve done things on the edge of appalling, all of which were when I was a kid, not even although very few were when I was a teen, I hate myself for all of them, as a 17 year old with a much more developed mindset, they are wrong very wrong and I opened up to my dad about one of those, I wasn’t eating, drinking, playing my games, talking to my friends, absolutely nothing. I was battling with religion, society, if I ever told my friends would they still be there? Opening up to my former Marine dad was a fear I’ve never felt in my life, it felt like a dream but when I did, he still loved me and now doesn’t even act like it happened. Feel free to open up about it, I myself is still in this very second typing this message, I still feel bad, as I should although I still have to realize is that I was a child. But feel free to share, no need to hold anything back, for real.
If I were a wealthy man, Such things I'd give to thee: All gauges and guises Of umpteen surprises, And wealthy I'll someday be. If I were a clever man, Such things I'd build for thee: All manner of modes Of humble abodes, And clever I'll someday be. If I were a travelling man, Such things I'd bring to thee: All features and faces Of faraway places, And travelled I'll someday be. If I were a braver man, Such things I'd promise thee: All valour in verses Of tethering curses Will someday be set free.
Half of my list of life regrets r things no one else has remembered ( like being mean to someone in the first grade or over sharing during a sleepover like 12 yrs ago)
I made some mistakes (not cheating) in my last relationship which came to end about a month ago. She left me and I m dying daily since then 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I can't even stand properly and dying a slow death after that. I can't forget and forgive myself 😭😭😭😭 please someone suggest me to get rid of this unbearable and unimaginable pain 😭😭😭😭
Thank you for this video. Thank you to the speaker in it, although you’ll probably never see this. I’ve had regret plaguing me for a while now, and I’ve found it difficult to move on and enjoy life to the fullest. Today that changes. Today I’m going to start living. Today I’m going to start working on forgiving myself. I’ll work on it every day. I’ll use the death bed test every day. Thank you.
@@hydrazz I haven’t been fully sticking to it, partially due to forgetting, but doing this often does help. What I think helps a lot is to look back at the last 6 months of my life and think “what do I regret doing then?” and then don’t do that now. Do I regret worrying too much? Then I will pray and ask the Lord to bless me to trust in Him more. My life would have no improvement without the Lord God, nor would anything. I have been blessed with eternal life in Christ Jesus and many temporal blessings, praise the Lord God!!!
I leave my friends for no good reason and I regret that and now sadness is killing me I blame my self why i'm not good at making decisions. Sorry for my grammar.
@@v838monocerotis9 because i'm a swimmer athlete and my coach told me to leave them and ignore because they are just a distraction for my career I leave them but I regret that because I choose my career over them and I think that's so wrong.
Y’all know that feeling in ur stomach when mr. intrusive decides that today you will remember ur list of life regrets and regret all of them (even that one from 4 yrs ago). My regret buddies know what I’m talking about (I hope. Like if this is just me I will be thoroughly concerned)
I wish I had children when I was younger but I never found the right person (I think), and I was always having money troubles and space issues.. -37 and wish the Delorean was real!
