Well but the issue is she makes it often about men and women when it really isn't about that bht about BEING RESPECTFUL and learning how to communicate well. A women will react just as frustrated and defensive as a man if being critisized like "You never care about me" instead of being tolled "I feel lonely / needy recently and would love to get more quality time together" So while she pushed men up in a manner of "we need to consider his confidence and male energy" and critisizing at the same time fellow women off shopting ourself in the foot with "modern feminism attacks men", I think it is wuite toxic to call those kind of things she means "feminism". She actually is a REAL FEMINIST. Real feminism is about creating fair oppprtunitiea and treatment. NOT about trying to make us the same. Men and women do need each other and there is nothing wrong with holding up some "male" and "female" genderroles. As with maternity leave for example: If men where given fathers leave, they would get to be woth their kids and step up as dads at home. It would also lead to more women being able to chose to keep working while some men might chose to stay at home for a while. This would lead to better job opportunities and less of a gender wage gap. It would also create the opportunity for men to bond more eith their kids, which so far is often simply not an option, cause many families can't afford or don't want to afford childcare so of course the women who earns usually less will stay at home. It's not a choice. If it was a fair choice for a couple, I am sure that also the women chosing to stay at home would feel better about the choice as they know it wasn't out of a "forced" need. It also would mean that women would not "automatically" become the primary or single caretaker in dovirce cases. That's what feminism is about. Adjusting how we do things so we can all profit from the benefits of becoming equal in society.
@someone someone it's quite black and white. Either you are attractive than one won't have a big challenge or one is not attractive that giving up is the only way to find a happy existence with one self. either you have it or not. I think it's thought in childhood and early teens. If you haven't learned it by then it's getting mostly impossible. with attractive or "it" I mean that thing that makes woman want a man. Must not be physical or money. It's that kind of perseption or energy. ...
Woooooow. I thought I was doing the right thing by not burdening my husband with pleasing me, but I see now how I'm depriving him of confidence and masculine power. I watched my mother ball-bust all her husbands for being useless, so I did a 180 and fawned my way through my first relationship only to feel totally powerless and weak. Since then, my husband and I have both been mostly in our masculine, basically being independent together, trying not to burden each other with our needs. I've made any reliance on him an ego threat to my own inner masculine, a zero sum game. However, I can see now how it's blocked me to receiving nourishment and support that he's willing to provide and deprived him of a sense of efficacy and importance in my life. How strange to realize the first step to receiving the support you resent not having is to let yourself receive it. Thank you as always for your timely insight.
Thank you, what an honesty. I think what we need the most in relationships (and beyond) is a positive sense and practice of power and beeing influential on one side (only seemingly self-understood / daily practice in the "spiritual community"), and of vulnerability, sensuality and beeing receptive on the other. And how to mutually play with both, depending on the situation (and psychological condition). That's the play of YIN/YANG - and we've actually not much of an idea about it. (I think, I know pretty well what it means that I'm personally moved to tears listening to this as a man.)
Exactly, your a submessive femenine women. You only feel sexually satisfied if you recieve help from a masculine alpha male. No wonder why females that likes me ask for help. Even if its small. My co worker asked me if i could help her find some stuff.
@@cassandrareedy7369 a man's confidence is heightened when he knows he is needed ... its in our dna and not for the just his money b/c these days men are working more hrs and making less just to keep the house from sinking.... ask him to do things nicely with a touch of seductive way not in a nagging way... make him a sandwich or a lemonade drink or perhaps ask if he like a beer... a kiss in the cheek
Replacing self-confidence with a warped sense of the approval of others being: REQUIRED, EXPECTED, LONGED-FOR, MOTIVATION or...deal-breaker? This thinking hasn't poisoned enough young minds so now its time to break the adults!
This video should've been maybe how to first augment a woman's self esteem. Why do we expect that the woman in relationships will always be ready to put in the emotional labor? 😞
"Confidence reveals who a man is, it doesn't change him", whereas everybody is being told "power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely". I'm so glad to hear just a single person saying what I know to be true. 👍tnx!
If you want to see a person for what they are you have to take off the filters that they operate on. Two other ways are to give them loads of money and get them drunk. They will quickly reveal who they truly are without any societal filter to hold them back.
I get your point, I feel also that power is not the same as confidence. I do think that power can corrupt a lonely person by warping their perception of reality.
@@aeropueroto A person who is "corruptible" is already corrupt. Money, fame, and power only amplify what's already there. If you're a good generous person, you will become a philanthropist if you come across a lot of money. A person who comes from a traumatic background who all of a sudden wields considerable power will probably use fear and panic as a way to control others because it's all they know.
@@aeropueroto Generally, power and confidence are seen as different things in society indeed. However, 'power' is completely meaningless without confidence. When people are aiming for 'power', they're actually hoping for confidence. When people are confident (truly powerful) 'power' no longer has any significance. In other words; 'power' is only appealing to those who live in fear / lack confidence. So, it's not the power that corrupts, but the lack of (true power/) confidence that it is supposed to hide corrupts.
In my relationship we have a dedicated space for criticizing each other which makes it easier to value this kind of feedback. So we write down things and situations that didn’t feel good for us and once a week we share this criticism. It was a real game changer for me to do this.
This could maybe work with beta male. But sure with omega male with zero self-confidence. Man with higher than zero self-confidence won't tolerate this endless annoying woman's complaints, masked as "constructive criticism".
I call it talking stick time with no “you ...” sentences and only “I feel x when y happened because I need z”. and the person with the stick gets as long to talk as they need until they can switch.
This is exactly what I needed to hear today. I’m literally about to file for a separation from my husband.. we have 3 kids.. it’s the last thing I want to do. It’s been his shadow self for so long now. But I get it. He is lacki by his confidence. He lost it somehow and I do know that I contributed to that. My confidence is shot as well. Maybe we can save this. Idk.. maybe I can approach this whole thing differently. Just wish me luck ok 🌞
I could not have more than 2 hours sleep everyday when my husband left me because of something I did I tried all I could to get him back but did not want to come back to me. This affected my health and my work. luckily I was directed to a very kind and powerful woman Priestess Bola who helped me brought back my husband and now he loves me far more than ever am so happy with life now thank you so much Priestess Bola her email is: priestessbola@gmail.com
I think you helped me nail down why I’ve never had any self-confidence. Outside of a somewhat isolated situation in college, I’ve never felt needed. My input has never felt valued or most time even wanted. Decisions I make are often second guessed or overruled by others. It’s hard to lead when life has shown you repeatedly that no one wants to follow. And you’re right. It KILLS a man’s confidence, and much of his masculinity. There were a brief couple of years during college where I felt like I’d found my tribe, and for the most part was appreciated, valued, and wanted. It -gave- me a purpose that I threw myself in to. Respect and value from the people you want it from is a SERIOUS confidence booster. And not getting it is a serious confidence killer.
Welcome to a world that is trying its damndest to sow discord and disharmony between the sexes. At least Teal is sensitive enough to realize this and courageous enough to speak to it. Let's hope that this world won't cancel her.
Agree 💯. But if they have built in shame and can't self reflect or gain confidence in himself, there is NO AMOUNT OF PRAISE that will help them. It will drain you dry if you keep pouring into a man like this. Sometimes he needs to be left alone so he can find what makes him happy first.
Totally agree, just came out of a relationship and that is exactly what happened , started to feel like he was expecting this sort of treatment ALWAYS and I left the relationship feeling like crap now having to heal myself back up because it got me so drained, I wanted to fix him but it only did me wrong...
I did it intuitively because it felt like the most pleasant way of being in relationship. And I saw such growth in my man in just a year. There were men before who had this dark knight seed inside and afraid of power of true feminine energy. I'm so glad that I didn't change my gut feeling about loving a man because of them. So I matured and found one equal to me with huge heart and able to love not fear.
I love how Teal brings herself to these videos. The way colors coordinate, her appearance, etc. Her ability to show she enjoys these asthetic aspects of femininity while also speaking such truths is one of the things I love about her videos! Thanks, Teal and team 🙏🏼🌸
I feel like the switch from "you did this and you suck for doing it because you made me feel bad" to "hey we need to talk about this thing that happened because when you did this I felt really bad and I feel like we should fix this so we're both happy" already is such a huge leap in the right direction. Be on the same team as your partner, folks.
As a high T man, confidence doesnt come from a woman. It can bolster it, but APPRECIATION from a woman is key for a relationship. Without appreciation, confidence(in the relationship )is impossible
I'm aligned to that, appreciation AND trust that the guy has his woman's best interest at heart (even in a childish or cliché way) .. Coz when they start to openly question that the shxx will instantly hit the fan...
I love practicing my femininity and feminine approach to life with my sons and now that they are adults, they are able to see the difference in women who are in the masculine and therefore competitive with them vs a woman in her feminine who can partner with him. So happy they can see this!
Bingo Teal! Some men don't even know themselves having confidence and they get to meet and know themselves when they feel confident for the first years.
Take care of his confidence. Protection , contentment, commitment, fatherhood, generosity, problem solving, growth. Find out what makes him confident. You influence him. Be an ally. 1.having a defined and important role/place where they are useful, needed and wanted. 2. Achievement 3. Power 4. Feeling Important 5. To feel like he's making things better wherever he goes and whatever he does. 6. Social Status 7. Recognition of his authority where his authority exists. 8. Being believed in and feeling like others want him to succeed. 9. Being encouraged. 10. Having knowledge. 11. Having skills. 12. Recognition. 13. Practice and repetition. 14. Feeling strong physically mentally and emotionally. 15. Security. 16. Taking pride in things. 17. Praise / appreciation 18. Being trusted 19. To see that he's grown/ improved. 20 To have autonomy without losing connection. 21. Feeling able to protect others and to make others feel safe. 22. Knowing how to do things and how to solve problems. 23. Being able to provide. 24. Being prepared. 25. Being active. 26. Having a sense of purpose /mission. 27.The ability to please a woman.
A man's confidence can either be based on his knowledge or on his reality. A confidence based upon his reality will go away when that reality goes away but a confidence based on knowledge will remain even as reality threatens to destroy him. Thanks for all you do.
You have a way of articulating yourself and making sense of situations with absolute objectivity, clarity, intelligence and empathy. You have opened my eyes and helped me to heal myself on so many levels. Thank you so so much 🙏🏻
Thank you, Teal. Your understanding of the modern power dynamics between men and women is critical to saving society. You are the only person I’ve heard touch on exactly what is wrong and how to fix it. I’ve learned a lot!
I'm trying to work on being in my divine feminine energy and go back to how I was when I was younger. A lot of things happened that slowly over time changed me into not feeling safe and not showing openess and being terrified to show vulnerability. I built a wall and it's hard to trust. I've been in situations with very scary men.
even in the home, as parents this applies; "Replacing criticism with praise can completely transform a relationship" --because it can be applied on all relationships, it rings with truth and clarity.
I absolutely respect and love the fact that you are talking about these things that are currently demonized in our society, being a woman yourself. Most of the women remain passive when abuse towards men (as individuals or towards the collective) happens, as it is currently. I know and understand as well that women are also paying a price long-term for this "movement" that is happening, but most of them don't say anything and just live their life benefiting from the pro-sides of what is happening, being unaware of the dark consequences upon themselves as well. But you speaking about it, standing up for us man, letting aside the indirect positives for both genders, brings for me the most respect for you. Thank you so much. I know that people trust you and that is why this is very important. Wish you the best, Teal.
Thank you so much Teal! I am going out on my first face-to-face date tomorrow with a new gentleman I met. I am so thrilled to have this advice. But at a much deeper level, I greatly appreciate having the these tools to repair and rebuild my relationship with my brother.
Imagine meeting a man who would be as wise as Teal.. i wonder if it would be super easy or super hard to be in a relationship when u got a partner who understands so much about u and at the same time understands themselves🤔
Wow! You've put in words the exact dynamic of my husband's and I relationship. This video is priceless for couples! At least a year of marriage therapy in one video! 🙏
@@Vention1MGTOW we are complicated beings for sure... This is why I find it extremely important to be able to self- reflect... Enjoy the sunshine and good luck with your recovery! 🙏
You hit the nail on that men are not the same as men before and this was actually spoken on the Candence Owen show pod cast and documentaries speaking about gmos and how certain chemicals affect men in increasing estrogen, men are not men because of the increase in estrogen that comes from the environment and food and yes most products in plastics and other things increase estrogen in men which effected this generation and going forward. that is something that needs to be mention in further videos Miss Swan and as always fantastic video!
I had the exact same thought watching this video and recently--testosterone levels have been plummeting for decades. It's been on my mind as well because I've been watching Survivor and skipping around on seasons. When I've watched older seasons, men are men as I remember in my adolescence--stronger, more together. You watch newer seasons and the men are crying MORE than the women. Of course there are a lot of factors coming into play, including how the game has changed and who they cast; and I don't think it's per se healthier when men are suppressed. But something seems to be in the water so to speak . . .
You got it, it's true. Testosterone levels are on a massive decline on average since 20 years or more. Now you need to ask yourself why and who benefits from that.
I think I was slow at learning that my own ideologies shouldn't be twisted to appease another but accepted. Also to accept another person as they are instead of trying to condition them into believing what I do, we are love and that's what we are at the core regardless of our egos selfish misguided desires for life. 💕
Earlier this week ... “FFS how much healing and inner work do I have to do before life gets better? It feels ENDLESS. Aaaargh!” Watching this episode of Teal Swan : “Woah. I have ZERO resistance to the idea of caretaking a man’s confidence now. I used to have so much anger and hurt and grief around being let down by men. I didn’t realise how much of that has already healed until this video. What a great idea - I love how it feels to be supported by divine masculine energy. And it feels natural to be an ally to a man’s confidence. Hang on, for the first time in YEARS, there’s a portion of a video by Teal that just doesn’t apply to me anymore, because I spent years working to heal wounds around my own femininity and now actively have confident good men around me in my life. I guess all the inner work I have done IS working. Teehee! Got the message universe!” Thank you for being my guide Teal, you have helped me heal so much around my life experience as a woman. Have a good weekend sister! 🙂🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈
Even better, priceless advice: Don't treat man like your divorced mother treated you father. And than maybe, just maybe, will not be answer of divorced men to question "best best event in your life?" : "Divorce. I lost my wife, my house, my kids, but i won my freedom and MY LIFE back"
It is sad how society and the feminist movement is stripping away confidence and the divine masculine in men. Secure confident men are harder to come by. So this is a great way we women can help. Thanks Teal 💜
As a feminist myself, I agree with everything said in this video. We DO need men and their positive display of masculinity, just like men need us. Feminism nowadays has gone into extremes, because this is NOT what real feminism was about. Men are wanted and needed, however, there is one thing men need to understand - the reasons why we need them has changed. We no longer live in times when men were needed to hunt mammoth or run into battlefield to fight invaders. Women are on the same level as men now, we work and provide for ourselves, lot of us live by ourselves independently so we need you more for other of your traits and abilities, like emotional support (and physical too when necessary ), openness, sharing same interests/worldview/intentions and stuff like that. So men should learn to be more open and in touch with their feminine and masculine sides to know how to communicate their feelings and not close off instead, or become aggressive. Yes, lot of women have issues with that too, resulting into passive - aggressive behavior but we can learn together and support one another to be better at those things, because relationships do not work if there is me and you instead of us, as a team:)))
I like to believe that in some places of this planet, we are already trying to build what you describe. I love to be useful in other people's lives and I love when women around me feel safe and free. Where Im from, men tend to be very distant and absent and when I started to change that pattern on myself; my sisters started to change their attitudes towards me and I have a better relationship with them and I feel loved and respected and with that power now I can feel that Im able to love a partner in a healthy and meaningful way.
Feminism is misandry,end of story. Women and men are NOT equal. We LET women have the "equality",never forget that. If you don't need a man then men don't need you. No real masculine man wants a woman who is competitive with him. They are way too successful to even consider women as competition.
A woman's highest calling is to lead man to his soul so as to unite him with source. A man's highest calling is to protect woman so she is free to walk the earth unharmed. Cute no?
I so totally agree with you and have always thought the same about this. What I think is confusing is that on one hand we are told as women by love coaches everywhere, to NEVER tell a man you need him or be needy because it 'scares them away' but on the other hand we need to show them we actually DO need them. Its confusing.
Teal, you are an amazing gift to the world. You have got me back on track with my own journey and created a higher level on consciousness and happiness, not just with this video but all the help and guidance you have provided. I wish I could one day personally thank you for the good you do! don't stop being you, the honest/raw you, I love it! Take care 💖
I cant believe how accurate and simple this is when listed out this way. I know all men could tell you how when these things happen the success that they have is through the roof. Without it, the fall is a long one. I am now learning to derive it on my own. Perhaps that could be another video? For those of us who spent decades with others and had no idea that such a list existed.
Always a pleasure Teal, we are so in sync, I literally just posted a video on the same topic. It's so important for people to feel that they are enough, so that we raise our standards, and our vibrations and attract the right people to us 👽💫👁💚 thank you for all you do.
Love you message Teal! I had this conversation yesterday with one of my friends. Often these days we castrate men, strip them out of masculinity. And then look around and complain they there are no real men anymore!
@@blue_sky_bright_sun7599 yep, let's pump and nurture men's already toxic ego's in the world...yeaaaaah!!!! like there isn't enough MALE narcissists in the world?! Sarcarsm
So much appreciate this clear and wise message. I see how it all starts with myself. I've realized I need to be a better ally to my masculine side's confidence which I think can help me to be a better ally to men in my life.
Dear, thank you for your work and what you gave for free to people, today for the first time in 35 years of life i don't live with the fear of my parents and their mental abuse, Because of your videos my boundries are high enough that i cannot accept the abuse anymore, thank you.
Don't you just LOVE her! 😊😊😊🤗🤗🤗 GREAT EPISODE. I'm also glad she acknowledged the shadow sides of increased confidence as well as low to no confidence. So many women today goes off of hear-say, in terms of what kind of person a man is, but like the video said, don't confuse a man's confidence with his character. So, get to know the man yourself. Even if it's from afar. See what he gets a joy out of doing, what gives him energy, what brings a smile to his face. 😁 However, I digress. Again, great episode, Teal. 👍🏽🙏🏽❤❤❤
Hands down one of if not the most healthy, informative and clear cut videos on the topic I've seen so far. You really she'd light on all sides of the topic, from the partners within the relationship as well as the gender norms while also pinpointing the problematic areas in later half of the video. Thank you so much for the video, you sure have won another loyal follower of your content! In short: B A S E D A F
Finally an intelligent and real conversation about the dynamics between men and women. I totally agree with what you’re saying and this is the way I have always conducted my relationships with men including family and friends and have always found it rewarding and beneficial for both parties.
I've been with a woman who always criticised everything I did, tried to pick fault with everything, always trivialised my accomplishments, trivialised what I do for a living (electronics and process engineering). After all these years I think she's just another one of those women who sit in an office, in a BS job, doing next to nothing most of the day, whilst criticising people who do real jobs. She wants everything done right now as in instantly, doesn't want to hear that I need tools/parts or just time to plan/think, we needed a new bathroom fitting, I was going to do it myself, said it would take a few weeks, she thought it should take 2 days, so she hires someone to do it, they took 2 weeks, they made a mess of it, it wasn't what she expected despite the fact she gave no clear instruction, water leak from the pipework came down into the kitchen and destroyed that, and THAT whole disaster was my fault. I like to be creative, to make things, like I designed/made my own "intelligent" heating control system for the house, but she breaks everything I make and then buys generic+expensive junk to replace it. The beautiful bathroom mirror I made from driftwood, with lighting and heated glass, she "accidentally" pulled that off the wall and smashed it whilst cleaning the bathroom, dare say that will be replaced by something from Ikea. The situation had me feeling suicidal, and yet everywhere I look EVERYONE is telling me what I have to change...... ME? I'm the one stuck with an emotionally abusive partner who refused to speak to me for 4 years and it's ME that has to change??? Long story short it's nice to see someone admitting that actually the responsibility doesn't just fall on men, we've got a society where many women think all they have to do is sit back and do nothing. It's some sick combination of Disney and romanticism, which is eroding relationships, destroying marriages and leaving children with broken families.
I had two "best" friends (one male, the other female) who always critizised me. I can confirm that's destroying to a man. Had a lot of confidence, 3 years later all was gone. For a man this makes a HUGE difference in his life. And every man dreams of a woman who supports him by boosting his confidence.
I wish there was a love buton for this!! ❤ If heeded, this advice can save so many relationships, which would lead to a safer home environment for a lot of kids, which would so greatly improve the world at large.. It's funny how people sometimes think of relationship advice and relational intelligence as 'not that important', almost second place... When in fact it is the bedrock of human experience. Another thing Teal gets right :)
I loved it, there is just one thing I reacted to, and that is when she says that men, once they gain confidence, their underlying traits come up and then there are stock photos implying violence. Only a powerless person lacking true confidence will use violence against someone.
With boys opting out of society and male suicide rates through the roof, the feminist message we are 'useless and monsters' has done tremendous damage. Men and boys need what Teal is talking about here. We don't want you to be our sole support, we just want to know we did well and we are valued. We quite literally want you challenge us with being better. Just don't kick us when we do our best and need another go at it. Don't hold our hand in everything, just cheer us on now and then. :)
as I watch this video, what arises in me, is longing and desire... and an immense and intense ache inside my soul... I pray magical blessings in the lives of myself and my true love (whom I am yet to meet). may him and I, both experience magical transformation and new levels of enlightenment and bliss... and may that lead us to each other, very-very soon! and may you, as well, beloved reader, be blessed, too...
You say all the things I've known somehow but never put into words or had the confidence in myself to even think to say out loud. You're amazing, so happy to have discovered your channel. Thank you for doing what you do and being who you are ❤️!
Excellent excellent video Teal, as always. I see if watched this before, probably meant years ago and i know then I'd have watched it much more underdeveloped than I am now. It is incredible to come back and see how the lessons you've taught me are now part of my modus operandi. Just this morning my partner's child part who hated school and feeling powerless was very activated, having to do a course he felt he shouldn't have to need to do. I automatically care took his confidence and sense of leadership, led him to lead his child part and teach him how to approach responsibility as a man and remember that he's intelligent and knows how to take this situation as an opportunity to gain advantage. He's now teaching his anxious-angry child part that he's still in control and they're being curious together about looking for opportunities to take advantage. He also realised the course will be easy because it is more about a certificate in commonsense, rather than an academic challenge. Anyway, thank you Teal. Your excellence in teaching makes me a better women immeasurably, and that leads my man to himself, and now we're part of a better more conscious world. I love you sister. Thank you❤
Spot on 🙏 Confidence is Vital for men. And so true how it reveals their True colours.. whether they are actually a monster in disguise or not. Brilliant video Teal as Always 💜
You nailed it Teal! Seems like most women don’t get this. A man can rebuild his own confidence but if his woman doesn’t stop her critical habit, he will most definitely withdraw from her.
Great idea. Thanks Teal. I often have trouble knowing how to ask for help even though I know I need it. This was insightful and gives me a way to communicate my hopes in a relationship.
Boost your inner masculine’s confidence too (if you are a woman). Or boost your receptivity and creativity (if you are a man). Best unity is inner unity! ⭕️☯️
Good, Isis! Better comment than the whole video if you ask me, there are more male narcissists in the world and a spiritual teacher does a video telling women to keep boosting male ego's! Great! Yikes! 😤😥 Men do have a soul and a inner female why don't women compliment them on that for a change? They need to be reminded they are not just providers or means to ends and that when they retire there is more to life than their precious ego! Thank for your comment!
@@beletristabennett6910 I hope the point of the video was to encourage men to explore and express their feelings... Society should provide conditions for that, and not just expectations they can’t fullfill. They break too, although it’s expressed differently than in women. When people get in relationships it’s often too late to fix that... And this inner feminine integration shouldn’t be limited to the concept of romantic relationships either, but should extend to a person’s inner life.
Hello Teal, can you make content about alpha females and women bosses? How should women in authority do to command respect and still being likable from their subordinates (are those combinations even possible?) Thks in advance! :)
My husband has no confidence! This video just confirmed what I think I already knew. It’s been such a rollercoaster ride for 20 years… I would love to be in my feminine energy & I’m working on that, but damn I am so tired of steering the ship!!!
Teal, how do I step into my Divine Feminine? I always hated being a "young lady" as a kid bc/ I saw how my mom was treated badly, as a result, I became "sporty" & hated the color pink. One guy friend, I had a crush on brought my feminine energy out for the first time. That energy was way more powerful than the masculinity I always tried to prove.
Related to this? Stop fearing the illusion of things in pessimism of "survival mode", and only as self-defense, as a last resort? Try enjoying nature and flowers and animals, more, if not already? Only the good bits of animation, which could still have colonial coding?
I´m a woman and all these things listed help me a lot and relieve my depression lol. I wish someone would support me in any one of them. I wish someone made videos telling others to help people like me in these ways. A reason why women don't want to do this for men is because we are starved for all that ourselves and yet we are asked to help men, as Teal mentions.... on the other hand I wish everyone supported each other in these ways in general.... Having said this , this was helpful to understand men better and I intend to do more of that with the valuable men I do know even if just as friends.
Thank you so much for this content. I am learning and being able to identify the problems that I’m having that has resulted in the loss of my marriage. I am trying to be a confident man but sometimes it’s fleeting. I have childhood traumas that have been triggered by my in-laws. I want to heal all those things to be able to maybe help people too. I am a mechanic a prayer walker and a Sundancer. I have value! I’m just faltering under the toxic environment that I have been living in for too long. I really need help that don’t cost a fortune. I don’t know that you will ever see this comment. I just thank you so much for your work to help people and diffuse the bs. Peace to you!
This reminds me SO much of the type of relationship that my parents DON'T have. My mom has ruined his confidence SO much, that yes he has become passive and unresponsive & my mom wonders why he has become like that??? (I overheard her pretty much say to my brother that my dad is disconnected with her). I don't know if their relationship has changed or not, since I voluntarily went no contact with them and moved again father away than before & I know it's NOT my responsibility to help their relationship. ( Like when I was younger, sticking up for my dad when my mom wld say something negative to him) only for my mom to say back to me "there you go sticking up for him again" or saying " you are SO much like your father!!!" Before I moved out again , he even didn't shower much & I wld see him with greasy hair a lot. I just cannot stand the way he turned out with her and I can't and AM NOT sticking around to see it more. My healing and future relationship/s (partner or friendships) are more important.
@@vivekrocks000 thanks for trying, Kumar, but, no it will just make her angry if I would point it out to her, plus I have voluntarily decided to go complete no contact with her and the rest of my family. To heal myself & heal future generations...if there will be any more, besides my nephew at this point.
@@epiphanysoulguidanceb756 believe it or not i understand. same family situation here. i tried to talk sense into my mom a 100 times but my dad has become a monster now so theres no point even if my mom changes. good luck to you. hope you are able to leave the negativity behind.
@@vivekrocks000 thanks, and good I’m glad you can understand that. Actually my parents are the opposite of yours, but, yes, at least you understand the same concept. Thanks for, letting me feel like I’m not alone . :) Good luck to you. As well.
'How dare you hurt me for telling me how i'm hurting you?' I've never met this type of behavior until recently. It still shocks me. And I still don't know how to handle it. Any advice?
Sounds like subtle gaslighting. Invalidating your hurt because if you speak it out it hurts him. And I disagree with the previous commenter that it's women who do this. It's insecure people who do this , all my exes did this eventually and they were all men..Let s not pull statistics out of our asses.
If you're in the beginning, don't even try to fix this. He has serious issues which he should take care of in therapy not throw on you. Can't be held accountable for his actions and won't ever apologize. Sounds like a codependent/borderline issue , or at least traits. He needs babysitting. And yes you can tell from " such a small thing " because it shows the way his mind thinks. I would not date a man like that EVER AGAIN.
Thank you all for replying❤️ We've been together for 3 years. In the beginnig his behaviour and reactions made me go completly silent. I couldn't/wouldn't speak when I had issues. I wanted to, but I didn't know how. Because all my comminucation skills were based on people who you could have grown up conversations with. I lacked the skill to speak to someone who doesn't want to hear/know any of my issues. I've never met ANYONE like that before. I wrote notes about my problems, but I never showed them to him. I felt like I wasn't brave enough... I tried to 'behave' how he wanted me to behave. I ended up with panic attacks and severe anxiety. I started taking anti depressant medication about a year ago. And I stopped taking them about 3 weeks ago (a month after I found Teal's videos) I'm on my way of healing and I getting stronger every day. I still don't know how to handle his behavior, so whenever he starts his little 'games', I turn around, walk away and sit in my little meditation corner. I meditate, self heal and educate myself for hours. Before, I was in a depressive state so all I could do is crying when we had 'arguments' And his reaction to that? 'How dare you show me your tears and show me I hurt you?' 'I will give you something to cry, if I see you crying' And even though he never physicly hurt me, he hurt me in every other way he could. I'm still baffled by this!! How can you WANTING to hurt someone you love?? I never ever seen anything like that before. I felt like I'm not enough. Like I should do better. I learned not to cry in front of him... well I learned how to cry in COMPLETE silence. I cried 24/7. I'm not exaggrating. I cried when I woke up, when I drove my car, when i had a shower, in front of my clients, when we watched something together (he never heared or seen my tears though I was VERY careful. I cryed myself to sleep, just to wake up a few hours later to cry in the middle of the night. This was my every day life for 2 years. Anti depressant made me numb/dull. I couldn't cry anymore and it was such a relief! I could sleep through the nights... I'm not angry at him. I know what he's gone through when he was a young adult. I know that love wasn't shown to him and he never had one single relationship until he met me (age of 33). He is very damaged. But we all are! And we do realize that we need to work on our issues. He thinks the best way is to shove it under the carpet and 'forget about them'... Our relationship worsend since I started to walk on my path but I don't mind. I'm stronger than him now. When he is trying to hurt me (he tries it daily) it doesn't reach me anymore. I wish there was a way to help him, but he thinks he is beyond help. And he can't change because no one can change over 30 (oh my sweet summer child..) So yeah... I'm getting over him, while we are still together. It sounds cruel, I know but... we are still in lockdown in England, and our living situation is very comfortable and practical. For both of us. We also work together (own a business together) since May so breaking up is not doable right now. (And also there's this thing, me loving him...) So for now we stay as a couple and I hope beyond hope that he will open his eyes at one point and he'll let someone to help him... My life/soul/mind/spirit is way healthier than it was before and my focus is on ME now. Not on him as it used to be.
@@antapfenomen I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I was friends (colleague) with someone like this - he was a master manipulator and put on a great performance. I found out who he really was two years into our relationship when he started playing games with my emotions (the moment I feel in love with him - there was never any physical relationship thank god). I walked away immediately but went through all the ups and downs you’re describing in the last 18 months even though I went completely no contact. Something about talking to a wall and trying to get closure. We built a billion dollar company together then he flipped the script and then he just vanished. Never responded to any of my messages. It is excruciating to be regarded that way, like you are nothing. Like you are talking to a wall, the back of his head, his agenda. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I’m glad that you are strong + able to rise above, and I hope you are able to get far away from this person the moment things start to return to normal, whatever that looks like in the New World.
For my situation, high confidence always meant high infidelity. When his confidence wasn’t at the top, he was always 💯 loyal but the moment his confidence was high, he apparently also became confident that he could do better than me. He became confident n his ability to have any women he wanted and liked proving it to himself. He became confident that he was entitled to whatever he wanted. So I keep his confidence in check. I admit to this. I like him to be confident but it works against me if he is too confident. It’s just a fact. This is his only flaw but it’s a big one but it’s also one that I have the ability to control. I know I’ll get backlash from this comment but I’m just speaking the truth.
So it seems that it would make sense for a woman to first be in her own confidence/assurance in order to assure or assist in a man’s complete (for lack of a better word) confidence? Or is it more of a mutual cooperation? Thank you
@@adriaan4808 True, a lot of people in general don't feel great about themselves, but that's doesn't mean they don't appreciate others. As the saying goes, we are often our own worst enemy. So other people don't necessarily need to be confident, although if they're not, it might help them if you could find aspects you like about them to help boost theirs as well.