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Relationship Scientist REVEALS 3 CLEAR SIGNS He'll CHEAT (Don’t Miss THIS RED FLAG!) | Macken Murphy 

Lewis Howes
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Today we welcome the inspiring Macken Murphy. Macken isn't just a behavior scientist; he's a master at decoding the little things we do and say that reveal a lot about our relationships and what we're really looking for in love and life. Whether you're single, dating, or just love understanding more about the people around you, Macken's insights are going to open your eyes to the complex world of human attraction.
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For more info about this episode, go to lewishowes.com/1587
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0:00 Intro
00:04:03 - Men Cheat More Than Women
00:07:48 - The Benefits and Reasons for Infidelity
00:11:33 - Motives for Women to Cheat
00:15:09 - Repercussions of Non-Monogamous Relationships
00:19:02 - Undermining Society with Unemployment and Disruptions
00:22:52 - Red Flags and Infidelity
00:26:30 - Body Count and Promiscuity Stigma
00:30:30 - Women's Perspectives on Sexuality and Jealousy
00:34:07 - Overcoming Jealousy in Relationships
00:38:07 - Eliminating Jealousy in Relationships
00:42:01 - Symptoms of Romantic Love and Relationship Survival After Infidelity
00:45:53 - The Mating Crisis and Risk Reduction
00:49:48 - Extra Pair Copulation in Socially Monogamous Species
00:53:26 - Understanding the Impact of Cheating on Relationships
00:57:09 - Attracting infidelity and bad pickers
01:00:50 - Understanding Narcissism and Improving Relationships
01:04:29 - The Power of Compliments in Relationships
01:08:08 - The Downside of Being Extremely Physically Attractive
01:12:05 - The Benefits and Costs of Dating Someone Above Your League
01:16:13 - The Experience of Eating an Apple
01:19:51 - Improving Relationships and Sexual Satisfaction
01:23:42 - Living in Accordance with Your Values
01:27:53 - Embracing and Trusting the Process
#greatness #inspiration #motivation

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15 май 2024

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Комментарии : 1 тыс.   
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 месяца назад
Thanks to Macken for sharing his expertise with us! Leave a “YES” if you enjoyed this and share the biggest moment for you. And make sure to subscribe to never miss out on inspiring content like this again RU-vid.com/lewishowes
@elizabethabbruzzese
@elizabethabbruzzese 2 месяца назад
Thank you for this interview. As a single mom with two little ones I was just curious to know if you could please set up an interview for single moms and how they can go about finding a future husband. How to navigate through the dating life to find a husband. What qualities to look for and any other information that would be useful.
@OnyejinakaChisom
@OnyejinakaChisom 2 месяца назад
I love your vast knowledge ❤ thank you sir for this
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
So glad you enjoy the channel! Thanks for being here!
@FoxcHoney
@FoxcHoney Месяц назад
🎉YES!!❤😊
@FoxcHoney
@FoxcHoney Месяц назад
The biggest moment for me was when the subject of trauma from betrayal came up.
@MayaChadalavada-nz7qg
@MayaChadalavada-nz7qg 21 день назад
I did not cheat on my ex who cheated on me. Instead I filed for divorce and he was surprised 🤣. Bye bye ! Now he can cheat freely.... It has been the best decision of my life to divorce him.
@valeriajakab8112
@valeriajakab8112 20 дней назад
I did the same.
@EmilceMaldonadoPaul
@EmilceMaldonadoPaul 15 дней назад
I did the same.....freedom
@elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 14 дней назад
You did him a favor! When I got divorced I told my ex now he could be as lazy and promiscuous as he wanted.
@lucid_747
@lucid_747 5 дней назад
You took the High Road 🙌🏼
@Portia620
@Portia620 3 дня назад
😂😂 YES! Set them free!!! 😂😂
@simoneelhallak4433
@simoneelhallak4433 18 дней назад
“Don’t expect loyalty when you don’t offer honesty “
@bookofbrah
@bookofbrah 8 дней назад
That hits hard!
@snblee
@snblee 2 дня назад
“If this person doesn’t want to be with me than what’s the point…”
@snblee
@snblee 2 дня назад
“If this person doesn’t want to be with me than what’s the point…” “It would be the greatest gift to let me go if you don’t want to be with me.”
@snblee
@snblee 2 дня назад
I’m at 30yrs, finally leaving a repeat cheater. 😢
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 дня назад
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@TheKandidKate
@TheKandidKate Месяц назад
I asked a very beautiful woman what it was like to be so beautiful. She said it was lonely because people were afraid to approach her to talk with her.
@heide-raquelfuss5580
@heide-raquelfuss5580 Месяц назад
At the same time...she does not get harrased so much, like other women experience. It saves her horrible stress, abuse...
@dot510
@dot510 Месяц назад
@@heide-raquelfuss5580 But you also get dismissed a lot, passive agression etc. I get you though
@colettejaques2559
@colettejaques2559 Месяц назад
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.................
@akrossmann1631
@akrossmann1631 Месяц назад
What is really a challenge is being beautiful. tall, and smart! Just love life, it is purely a miracle you are alive!
@Lightenupwithlaura
@Lightenupwithlaura Месяц назад
Can relate… :/
@JanetMacCallum
@JanetMacCallum 24 дня назад
I'm pretty sure I had PTSD (or PISD) form a major betrayal from a significant other. As much as I have sought therapy and tried to get over my trust issues it has impacted me long term. People need to think twice about leading a double life and betraying their partners.
@elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 21 день назад
Same here. I had my heart and soul broken to pieces when I was 23 and never fully recovered. But, it hardened me in a positive way. I never got hurt again.
@JanetMacCallum
@JanetMacCallum 9 дней назад
@@elizabeetle13 that's a shame it happened to you so young :(
@amadeagottlieb
@amadeagottlieb 5 дней назад
​@@elizabeetle13 Never say never!
@elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 4 дня назад
@@amadeagottlieb NEVER. And you can bet your life on that.
@Portia620
@Portia620 3 дня назад
I was PISD too but now laughing! big Big Mistake!
@ShivaLadiva-sb9nw
@ShivaLadiva-sb9nw Месяц назад
For me a major causevof cheating is lack of respect and communication cause being dishonest is being disrespectful to another person. Cheaters are dishonest people.period.
@patriciaalbertson5183
@patriciaalbertson5183 28 дней назад
YES. . And EGO, Constantly wanting to be worshipped...
@carenlzarate8603
@carenlzarate8603 21 день назад
Yes and lack of ethic
@Portia620
@Portia620 3 дня назад
Is a character defect and so gross 🤢
@murphymacken
@murphymacken 2 месяца назад
Thank you so much for having me on Lewis! I really enjoyed the conversation.
@deeandleaann
@deeandleaann 2 месяца назад
Your insight and research are amazing and helpful. Thank you for helping me understand human behavior better. 😊
@patrick.h11t
@patrick.h11t 2 месяца назад
Thank you for the information you've shared. Im looking forward to seeing more interviews of you.
@melindacollins3483
@melindacollins3483 2 месяца назад
I like how you gave more insight to the stress that is caused after being cheated on it makes so much more sense to call it post infidelity stress disorder and it has been so hard to date and fully trust someone new after being cheated on
@liznewark
@liznewark 2 месяца назад
Thank you for pointing out that in order to discuss a topic you need to do substantial (over a year) of academic research
@elsbells.
@elsbells. 2 месяца назад
Well done Macken. Very interesting as always.
@monaissakarim7569
@monaissakarim7569 2 месяца назад
What i really really appreciate that the speaker is fair and says it when he its not his area of expertise. He doesnt pretend that he "knows" everything and has the answer's to everything.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken 2 месяца назад
Thank you :)
@karolinaks4192
@karolinaks4192 2 месяца назад
Yes. It’s refreshing that an academic on a popular podcast acknowledges what is not his area of expertise . It makes him much more more credible.
@1764s1985
@1764s1985 Месяц назад
@@murphymacken😢😢
@andreavanda5402
@andreavanda5402 Месяц назад
But there's way too much that he's not an "expert" in. I mean, these questions are all related to his area of study. Maybe he should familiarize himself with more.
@melgm002
@melgm002 Месяц назад
Why not get someone who is an expert then
@stampandscrap7494
@stampandscrap7494 Месяц назад
People arn't attraced to narcissism. They are attracted to people who appear confident. Unfortunatly narcisists look very confident.
@etaokha4164
@etaokha4164 Месяц назад
He cheated on me at 6 months pregnant and cheated on me again on my birthday which was the final discard. Their Egos constantly need that Fix and when they dont get it, they go somewhere else. Period!
@di_decaire
@di_decaire 4 дня назад
They seem to be awful when you deserve more happiness.
@senyakome
@senyakome 2 дня назад
I hope you are going well! Sending you and your baby a virtual hug. 🤍
@lori-annefay4138
@lori-annefay4138 17 дней назад
I think "cheating" often comes down to opportunity. Men expect free time at the end of a workday or week. Women with kids and a home to look after simply do not have the same time or energy.
@draandreadiaz6055
@draandreadiaz6055 Месяц назад
He’s EXTREMELY careful with his opinions. LOVE IT ❤
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Месяц назад
I'm glad!!
@gigi9301
@gigi9301 Месяц назад
Wishy Washy Click Bait Blah
@kyliejackson-bell810
@kyliejackson-bell810 Месяц назад
Give him 10 years and he’ll say it how it is 😂 beautiful soul though
@tuchus8781
@tuchus8781 Месяц назад
So many woke ready to attack. He's smart
@mezlandia
@mezlandia Месяц назад
@@gigi9301life isn’t a sure thing
@user-vi3re9wr3o
@user-vi3re9wr3o 2 месяца назад
To sin or not to sin… so many people have killed their conscience
@ladyvirgo9514
@ladyvirgo9514 Месяц назад
💯
@TonganJedi
@TonganJedi 29 дней назад
Sin is a religious concept that not everyone buys into. I certainly don't.
@ladyvirgo9514
@ladyvirgo9514 29 дней назад
@TonganJedi "Sin" is to error. We all do that but I agree on the Religions twisting it.
@ImKar333
@ImKar333 28 дней назад
​​@@TonganJediWell, we all usually know what we are about to do is wrong or right, right? You don't have to believe in sin, to be a decent human being. You just have to be humane.
@melissamilam-hw9dt
@melissamilam-hw9dt 15 дней назад
The idea of Sin is a fantasy. You're just an animal.
@a.d.2206
@a.d.2206 13 дней назад
This man is the perfect mix of confidence and humility
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 13 дней назад
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@Jenergy84
@Jenergy84 2 месяца назад
Ok I listened so you guys can know... 1. Family History 2. Sexual inclinations ( whether you care if your in love or not with your partner you sleep with) 3. Body Count/ verse Age
@elisachang7393
@elisachang7393 2 месяца назад
Where does he list the three?
@Smartartin
@Smartartin 2 месяца назад
Doesn’t, I had a struggle trying to sum up what was said..
@marinalovric2700
@marinalovric2700 Месяц назад
How age has influence?
@cinderling5472
@cinderling5472 Месяц назад
​@@dianevadino Oh :/ Thank you very much for your effort ❤
@mariabatubara6494
@mariabatubara6494 Месяц назад
Thanks! ❤❤❤
@SummerSnow716
@SummerSnow716 Месяц назад
Jealousy is not totally about insecurity; it is about the trust and communication created between the partners. If your partner doesn't help provide psychological safety, then jealousy is more pronounced. Prolonged jealousy tells you that something is wrong.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Thank you for sharing your thoughts!! 🧡
@camillemanly3800
@camillemanly3800 29 дней назад
THIS. If there’s communication and both let it be known they love and desire their partner, then there won’t be jealousy.
@jesssc402
@jesssc402 24 дня назад
Lack of those things creates insecurity though
@sophine7189
@sophine7189 20 дней назад
​@jesssc402 EXACTLY! For the life of me I don't understand why people can't see or understand it goes right back to insecurities. Whenever you feel insecure in your relationship because of a lack of trust and communication, it causes you to feel insecure about yourself and your decision of being in this stagnant relationship. It's quite simple to understand. I'm starting to believe the problem is that people don't understand what insecure means.
@DeniseDawson-dl9wc
@DeniseDawson-dl9wc 15 дней назад
How true
@MaxsMom-bv6hf
@MaxsMom-bv6hf Месяц назад
Cheating is a stroke for the ego. Nothing more, nothing less!
@SM-qb7ce
@SM-qb7ce Месяц назад
@MaxsMom-bv6hf YESSS I AGREE!!! 💯%
@bonezbaaaby
@bonezbaaaby Месяц назад
BUT, it helps to know the potential underlying biological temptations so we can become aware and avoid them
@snowbird6855
@snowbird6855 Месяц назад
So that's another way of saying it's done by those lacking self esteem? I'm guessing yes.
@sherralieberry-majeski5972
@sherralieberry-majeski5972 Месяц назад
For men.
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 Месяц назад
I've Scanned 250,000 Brains This Is Really How Men Think and Lisa Biyeu podcast Accurate study. ( Testosterone- impulse control) Getting The Love You Want by Harville Hendrix IMAGO Are You The One For Me? by Barbara DeAngelis Safe People by Henry Cloud The Gift Of Fear by Gavin De Becker
@rosebooth9263
@rosebooth9263 Месяц назад
What an impressive gentleman. As a 28 year old, witnessing the level of maturity and humbleness that he possesses was refreshing. In my opinion, the smartest person in the room tends to be the person who acknowledges that they do not know everything. Excellent podcast all around. Great job Macken & Lewis!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
🙌
@jinhub2175
@jinhub2175 28 дней назад
Exactly
@suzanneemerson2625
@suzanneemerson2625 13 дней назад
But what’s up with the hair hat? Hmmmm…..
@AniaBumba
@AniaBumba Месяц назад
What an emotionally mature young man! Very admirable.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
👍
@sabinekoch3448
@sabinekoch3448 Месяц назад
Real scientific thinking- no “woke” nonsense.
@99balloons71
@99balloons71 Месяц назад
From what I've seen, A male having an affair is as common as weeds.
@faithrobin6124
@faithrobin6124 Месяц назад
@@99balloons71what do you mean?
@DjMicr0dot
@DjMicr0dot Месяц назад
@@99balloons71 dear Lord where do you live lol I've never met a young man like that in Austin Texas anywhere so please explain
@cece9770
@cece9770 Месяц назад
Being more physically attractive means fewer people have any real desire to understand you as a person. There are LOTS of disadvantages actually. Especially amongst women, there tends to be more jealousy and envy leading to unwarranted hurtful behavior, ostracizing, bullying… Being more physically attractive means that you end up attracting more shallow people, which results in fewer meaningful relationships, which leads to more loneliness and depression. Men (and women) tend to assume that a beautiful person is not going to be loyal or faithful BECAUSE they assume you can’t be happy with your meal and want to sample the entire menu. Being beautiful means you are targeted more as an object to be conquered, and so we tend to be on the receiving end of more lies and deception because we’re viewed as merely a prize to be won. Beauty is and always will be a curse as far as I’m concerned. Oh and the backlash I assume is coming for first insinuating that I might believe myself to be beautiful, and then having the gall to speak negatively about the perceived advantage. How dare I? People will say it’s all for attention. The reality is that I’m lonely and depressed because no one has ever loved me for my personality. If I had a nickel for the number of times I’ve had someone tell me that they aren’t in love with me, but in love with the IDEA of being with me…
@aubz81
@aubz81 Месяц назад
I too would have a pile of nickels. I agree, men love the IDEA of being with me, but once they get to know me... they're out. I'm 'too real', apparently. Whatever, I'll be too real and enjoy my life! (And those proverbial nickels!)
@franklydarling....7244
@franklydarling....7244 Месяц назад
Counting even your assumptions that a person would say this to you because a majority of people DO NOT speak this way....... If you had a nickel for each time a person told you they were "in love with the idea of being with you," you would certainly have less than $20. $20 would equate to 400 people...... Let's get real.
@cece9770
@cece9770 Месяц назад
@@aubz81 yep! I suspect it’s because they tend to put us on pedestals. An ideal they’ve built in their minds, and then when they realize we’re just regular people they are disappointed.
@cece9770
@cece9770 Месяц назад
@@franklydarling....7244 lol it’s an expression. 🙄
@franklydarling....7244
@franklydarling....7244 Месяц назад
@@cece9770 I was trying to be kind. After reading your "thesis" about how hard it is for you to be so attractive and viewing your profile picture, there are so many things I could make commentary on....but I digress. My entire point would be: "Get real." As in actual reality. Ma'am, you're average at best. And that is no insult. With all sincerity, I would consider it a blessing. ❤️🤗
@BunnyRabit-yo3lx
@BunnyRabit-yo3lx 26 дней назад
Jealousy is a natural negative emotion and I believe, like anxiety, is a type of evolutionary warning signal to the body. It's only toxic if it goes unchecked.
@veronicaannsmith3619
@veronicaannsmith3619 7 дней назад
Agreed!
@SanctuaryGoodLife
@SanctuaryGoodLife Месяц назад
I wish being a good parent and Uncle, Aunt, Cousin, sibling, friend, and Neighbor were still important for status in Western culture.
@janedoe1498
@janedoe1498 Месяц назад
Sociologically and psychologically (the fruit) development of the human nature moved the western concept which is good and bad yet harder but was meant... sadly
@celestialstar8115
@celestialstar8115 Месяц назад
This doesn’t happen in east either. Hasn’t happened in centuries
@Southernly
@Southernly 25 дней назад
Me too 😞
@stariadreamtea
@stariadreamtea Месяц назад
Watched the entire thing. He's so engrossing and his voice + body language is hypnotic. He's quite humble and mature. Wonderful.
@StrongSingleMom
@StrongSingleMom 26 дней назад
When he said boyfriends do lots of nice things for you I couldn’t help but laugh
@elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 21 день назад
Right?
@IviAndB
@IviAndB 17 дней назад
💯 😂😂😂
@musical1innm
@musical1innm 14 дней назад
Love bombers at the start? Run!
@tomigirl30
@tomigirl30 Месяц назад
11:06 this was me. After catching my partner cheat on me 3 times the last one lasting for 2.5 years I cheated. I planned it and it was a way for me to take some control back. I then worked on financially separating our house, got plans in order then ended things. Took me over a year, but never looked back.
@rhodagunn5075
@rhodagunn5075 Месяц назад
Me too. When I was 24 and lived with my partner I came home and caught him in bed with someone else. It broke me. Not out of revenge, but out of desperation to try and somehow reser the balance, and like you said take control back- I thought maybe if I did it too it might be something I could then accept and move on from that he broke my trust and heart. Of course it did not work, and nothing felt repaired or better afterwards. Seems obvious now it wouldn't have, but young love and young heartbreak you're just grasping at straws sometimes. I've never cheated since and I know I won't again. Doing it back can never repair the betrayal or bring any kind of closer or healing. Just prolongs the pain I think.
@mlreed8929
@mlreed8929 Месяц назад
I know a guy who is polyamorous. He loves having relationships with several women, and he admitted he loves "a good catfight!" So he likes it when women are fighting over him, trying to compete for him. He likes seeing the jealousy. And he was full of secrets. He kept so much of himself private, so you would never get 100% of him. That was a huge red flag to me. I feel our society today has learned all this, and that is why monogamy is much better... people are loyal to one another, you share more of yourself with each other, and there is trust. Trust is the foundation of a good relationship. This builds true love and happiness. Sneaking around behind someone's back and lying to them leads to a lack of trust and, therefore, a lack of beautiful happiness. I feel that there are great blessings for those who are in a loyal, committed relationship. I'm reminded of one of the 10 Commandments - Thou shalt not commit adultery.
@tlafleur8433
@tlafleur8433 29 дней назад
These people here and so many like them do not even consider the 10 commandments.
@tealkerberus748
@tealkerberus748 26 дней назад
That's not polyamory, that's a mess. Real polyamory means communication, respect, consent, and supporting each other - not creating jealousy and conflicts.
@tealkerberus748
@tealkerberus748 26 дней назад
@@tlafleur8433 The ten commandments were written for a community where every man who could afford to support a second wife was expected to have one. It's not adultery to have sex with your spouse, no matter how many spouses the law allows you to have.
@Oreo-qn3lk
@Oreo-qn3lk 21 день назад
Sounds like the guy you were talking about was grandiose narcissist. ❤️💜
@JillBausch
@JillBausch 13 дней назад
That man is most likely a narcissist. Run away fast. They are dangerous, with the mentality of a cruel child.
@porschajohnson1890
@porschajohnson1890 26 дней назад
Interviewer Question: Why not just break up before cheating? Interviewee's Response: "Why would you quit your job before securing another one?" That was such a good parallel! It's called Mate Switching. I don't agree with anyone cheating, but the response sure does put things into perspective for those of us who have asked the why not just break up question!
@healthadvisor464
@healthadvisor464 10 дней назад
When someone "secures" the next person before leaving the relationshiT, you are dealing with a narcissist. Primarily a covert. The worst, and most deceitful type of thing to have a connection with.
@chrissemenko628
@chrissemenko628 6 дней назад
​@@healthadvisor464Keeping a backup goalie
@colormecrazywithkim5837
@colormecrazywithkim5837 2 месяца назад
I agree about jealousy.....it's natural. If there is excessive jealousy, there is a reason why. You've had bad experiences in the past, or the person may be trying to get you jealous. My personal feelings.
@artandscience1
@artandscience1 11 дней назад
Often there's no reason why, except a man's territorialism.
@andreiadetavora8471
@andreiadetavora8471 Месяц назад
I'm a clinical psychologist (from Portugal). What a fascinating topic!! Great guest. Bright, intellectually honest and eloquent.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@nvk743
@nvk743 20 дней назад
“The data couldn’t be further from my heart” damn mans got his life in order
@donnaknudson7296
@donnaknudson7296 Месяц назад
What really is disappointing and perplexing is that one of the most spiritually and important things in life- love- depends so much on shallow things, like physical attractiveness and status. It makes no sense and I guess it's just one of the maddening things about this world. What he says about attractiveness and how people perceive and value you depends so much on that is true. I know because I have experienced both worlds. I'm a middle aged woman who used to be pretty. The thing is that I didn't even know I was pretty and frankly didn't care. But when I became middle aged I noticed major differences in the way I was regarded and perceived. This whole time when I was younger I just thought people were the way they were because they really liked who I was as a person. But I found that is not so and finding that out cuts deep.
@andreavanda5402
@andreavanda5402 Месяц назад
Ditto! It's quite shocking to realize at an older age how superficial most people are.
@donventura2116
@donventura2116 Месяц назад
Love is often shallow because at worst we are just animals and at best we may have the excuse that we are imperfect beings that can not observe our own divine nature and respect others for who they are and not what we see.
@user-yq4xm2cd7b
@user-yq4xm2cd7b Месяц назад
Yep I gave almost the same reply to someone else before this. I was hot & sexy & didn't know it, & they say I was beautiful, I didn't know it. They just wanted what they could get.
@coolbreeze5683
@coolbreeze5683 Месяц назад
Everyone inevitably figures this out at some point in their lives and the ones who do the judging are eventually the ones who will be judged (that includes their own self-judgement). That's how karma works in life. I've never been beautiful or sought after so I've always seen the true nature of society. I'm in my late 40s and I'm happier now than I was when I was younger. I don't really care about people's opinions of me and I'm used to cultivating joy within myself. I have good, authentic close friends and family. I just go about my day with gratitude for what I have and leave other people to their own since their karma is none of my business
@mizum3458
@mizum3458 21 день назад
​@@donventura2116I dont really understand what you said, but I easily often find a lot of things to admire about almost everyone I've met even if they're unattractive to me. Even some feminists.... Because some of them have some bits of good somewhere inside of them, like understanding how to use devices and software's I can't even grasp the knowledge of although most of them can be annoying when they get all political and overly social justice on a lot of things double standard
@_jules86
@_jules86 2 месяца назад
Macken Murphy.. keep doing what you’re doing. What a fascinating human!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 месяца назад
🙌
@kyliejackson-bell810
@kyliejackson-bell810 Месяц назад
I truly think it’s a combination of age and pain… thank you for sharing. I used to feel intense jealousy (for good reason, not all the time) but if I’d walked away I would’ve saved myself myself from heartbreak. I don’t regret it, but it’s hard to not wonder how different life would have been. My second relationship, he cheated it hurt but I was okay, honestly he did me a favour, unfortunately he was also horrible and scary and it did take me several years to safely get away but now I have built a wonderful life that I love. I have a great relationship and I’ve found the love of my life, I’ve allowed myself to be loved which is truly amazing. At 41 I think the key to my happiness is not being dependent. I would be heartbroken if my man cheated but I would be okay… there is power and freedom in that, I’ve never felt that way
@miss_whipps
@miss_whipps 17 дней назад
You're inspiring. I just experienced the heartbreak of being cheated on for the first time, and it was within a VERY codependent relationship. I can see how the impact would have been different (no less painful, but less devastating and injurious to my self esteem) if I had been more self sufficient, financially, emotionally, socially, etc. I hope to securely establish myself and become more whole before I consider a new relationship. Happy for you, I respect and admire your insight!❤
@AlexiaSummerPrather-xr4tm
@AlexiaSummerPrather-xr4tm 4 дня назад
1o​@@miss_whipps
@B.I.D_Group
@B.I.D_Group 25 дней назад
Never get into a relationship with someone that is insecure - this goes for in business relationships as well
@jacqueinebuss5514
@jacqueinebuss5514 22 дня назад
A little jealousy is something I think you have no matter what when you care about the other person.
@Zazezoo
@Zazezoo 10 дней назад
Men also naturally have that protected jealousy. It’s only when it’s excessive that’s when it becomes concerning and unhealthy!
@bethb.6813
@bethb.6813 Месяц назад
Yes. I am divorced and haven't dated for a quarter century, but am thinking about trying again. I appreciate the insights that Dr. Machen Murphy shared from the data and that he was humble in sharing this information, properly limiting it to what he knew from his data or saying where else the information came from. Despite his youth, we can all learn a thing or two about both science and character from Dr. Machen Murphy.
@elizabeetle13
@elizabeetle13 14 дней назад
Oh dear, why would you want to break your string? I haven't had a man in 18 years and I cannot imagine trying again.
@v9b23j
@v9b23j 2 месяца назад
Online dating is similar to speed dating in the sense that both men & women have multiple options and choices to make in a brief time frame based on very little information they can garner from each other. Similarly, I think it's fair to assume that both men & women prioritize physical attractiveness over other traits when they engage in online dating apps.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Месяц назад
Correct, they do!
@sherriflemming3218
@sherriflemming3218 Месяц назад
Online is The Paradox Of Choice - Ted Talk Women swipe 5% due to being more discerning - higher mating standards. Men swipe 60% to create more options.
@zenguro
@zenguro 2 дня назад
What else is there to do online anyways? It's shitty superficial, and all those 7s that might be super into you and hot in bed, you don't even gives those a chance. Also, 50% of women use online dating apps for a purpose other than dating or finding a mate. They just abuse it as a attention magnet. And are content with it.
@dr.florence
@dr.florence 2 месяца назад
I loved this! As a fellow researcher, though in the humanities, I LOVES him citing studies and his general honesty , carefulness and humility. Soooo different from those self-styled arrogant coaches on healing podcasts like this.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken 2 месяца назад
Thank you for the kind words
@camillegallagher7828
@camillegallagher7828 Месяц назад
"1)In terms of how you behave, live in accordance with your values as opposed to the vicissitudes of your base emotions and chance thoughts. 2) Think more about cultivating your obituary virtues as opposed to your resume virtues. 3)The person you pick is the most important choice you make so be careful with that and think of it as a skill you want to be excellent at in maintaining that."
@josusa1647
@josusa1647 22 дня назад
Btw…reason it’s so depressing is because I have a very attractive husband that I love very much and the competition is exhausting
@jarkachalmovianska7812
@jarkachalmovianska7812 14 дней назад
He would not have married you if he would not find you attractive. Chill.
@Zazezoo
@Zazezoo 10 дней назад
@@jarkachalmovianska7812Exactly! Plus not all women would agree that he’s very attractive 😅
@TheTialalande
@TheTialalande Месяц назад
The piece on creating an environment that would make somebody want to be around and not feel like They're in a cage. I totally get that. It takes a lot of self-reflection to really get there.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Месяц назад
100%
@Priyanka_Bagh
@Priyanka_Bagh Месяц назад
Can’t get over how well you communicate Macken!
@shellshelly5552
@shellshelly5552 Месяц назад
Lewis….The lack of jealousy means YOU accepted yourself fully. Self worth, confidence leaves no room for jealousy.
@mrs.c5471
@mrs.c5471 Месяц назад
I was never jealous of my husband, UNTIL he destroyed my world, my trust, my faith. I really don’t believe even now I’m “jealous” rather I’m more “aware” and listen to my gut.
@johnnydi2231
@johnnydi2231 17 дней назад
I completely lack this quality.... And am currently going through the worst pain of my entire life because of it. And I have no idea how to deal with it, or how to completely rewire myself atp?! I am in constant pain and can't stop it. So I'm just screwed. And it hurts in an almost inexplicable way! 💔
@MS-sr6mj
@MS-sr6mj 15 дней назад
Not in my experience. I know someone who is very insecure, but he is never jealous.
@cm4644
@cm4644 Месяц назад
Mate poaching, 100% success! He would not even make contact if he didn't already decide when saying 'Hi"
@hhlagen
@hhlagen 2 дня назад
Sooner or later the price is paid for infidelity. A person may not see it coming but it does and when it happens the consequences are indescribabley painful.
@googlespyfranchise9089
@googlespyfranchise9089 Месяц назад
Wow, such humility, compassion and thoughtfulness. Especially moved by his empathy for the sufferers of infidelity. Such a dude.. seems to have an absence of grandiosity, which is refreshing given its prevalence in a lot of online talkers. Mind you.. if I like someone then that’s probably a warning sign.. I thought Huberman was great, my ‘picker’ is broken. In fact the police could probably use me as a psychopath detector.. whoever I like- that’s the person with the bodies in the basement 😅 (yes I am remaining single whilst I sort it out ha).
@shabarney
@shabarney Месяц назад
Me too such a shame!
@mickie1154
@mickie1154 24 дня назад
I really learned SO much from this! Which led me to an awakening of a huge need for an answer to this: I must to change me. I must change from being drawn to narcissists. How can a person do this? Tell me. I will do it immediately.
@Mercermm
@Mercermm 19 дней назад
Get more self secure and sure of yourself. Narcissist love to be able to control you. Good luck.
@thepowerofyourtrueself4794
@thepowerofyourtrueself4794 2 дня назад
What a humbled man Macken is, very refreshing, thank you Lewis for bringing this man into your show, its a tremendous asset for all of us to get such insights into complexities of human behaviors and relationships.
@user-bi4hf6vq1d
@user-bi4hf6vq1d 2 месяца назад
Excellent interview and information. I appreciate that he gives credit to others who have done the studies and research! Giving credit where credit is due and admitting when he may not have the stats or answers. Very refreshing! Mac is very intelligent and knowledgeable as well as Wise for the number of years he has walked this path...
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Месяц назад
Cheers!!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡
@divine.healing
@divine.healing 2 месяца назад
At 39 I couldn't agree more about Lewis' jealousy insight 🔥🔥🔥
@alexwagnerautorin
@alexwagnerautorin Месяц назад
your choice of guests is just fantastic! thank you so much
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
You're welcome, your support means a lot!
@BREEZYDENVER
@BREEZYDENVER Месяц назад
Thankyou so much this was amazing, this whole production of the video, the editing, the guest, the questions... round of applause
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Appreciate your support. Thank you for watching! 🧡
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Месяц назад
thanks so much :)
@tracymullane8818
@tracymullane8818 20 дней назад
Jealousy isn't a bad thing, as the way he's describing it. It's totally dependent on the kind of respect or priority your partner is showing you, in relation to the intimacy you share- whether they are or not- and/or whether or not you have an anxious attachment style. Which is kind of embarrassing- to have an anxious attachment style. Just check in on the relationship with dignity as necessary. Being protective of the relationship is healthy and fine.
@melissaschenk2649
@melissaschenk2649 15 дней назад
I learned the hard way that marriage, (the monogamous union of man and woman for life) is the most sacred thing on the face of this earth and better stated the most sacred thing in the universe. We are horrible at it and most of the world's problems can be traced back to sexual infidelity. Those people who mate with one person for life have a rare and beautiful gifts few of us find. When we see it, it glows with beauty and reminds the rest of us how short we all came. We skirt around sexual restraint and fidelity because we can't live up to the impossible standard. But we deny not only ourselves but future generations the privilege of having it in doing so. Having only one partner that you mate with for life, forsaking all others, is of such high value we don't even strive for it or when it is mentioned roll our eyes in disbelief. It is hard work, too hard for this culture and we have paid a very dear price for that. Great video. I liked it a lot.
@morganadavies8319
@morganadavies8319 Месяц назад
I appreciate Lewis' honesty and self reflection in this session
@idaliahernandez1083
@idaliahernandez1083 2 месяца назад
I love listening to every statement on this interview. Lewis, i must confessed that ever since I found you i have found great minds as wel;l and I started following them to listen their content. Thank you for always bringing to your platform great minds and sharing with us great information that's to our benefit for growth. Definitely, you are the best out of all these many great minds and I love every time you leave the guest in awe with your questions. They are all on point. Again, THANK YOU! ❤
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 месяца назад
Thank you so much for your kind words 🧡
@stavokg
@stavokg Месяц назад
What a wonderfully kind guest! Such interesting and helpful information! Thank you.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Glad you enjoyed it!
@VanessaDiazNYC
@VanessaDiazNYC 2 месяца назад
Fantastic podcast! Loved the acknowledgment at the end Lewis! 😊
@whiplashbeauty
@whiplashbeauty 2 месяца назад
This has been one of the most fascinating and informative conversations! Great interview Macken & Lewis! Thank you!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 месяца назад
So glad you enjoyed it, thank you for watching🧡
@murphymacken
@murphymacken 2 месяца назад
Thank you!!
@brightpage1020
@brightpage1020 2 месяца назад
Thank you, gentlemen, for this discussion.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken 2 месяца назад
Thanks for joining us!
@ilsevdg1194
@ilsevdg1194 Месяц назад
"he can do better".... This conversation is not about love. Its about arranged, negotiated relationships.
@terewilliams1555
@terewilliams1555 24 дня назад
interestingly enough, arranged marriages have the lowest divorce rate. Maybe we can learn something ...
@ilsevdg1194
@ilsevdg1194 24 дня назад
@@terewilliams1555 Hey there! Thank you for your reply and I respect your opinion! I agree that nothing is black and white. But the superficial considerations as discussed , are only marginally important in the long run. That is my conviction and experience. And, well, the author of the study himself also seems to disagree in real life. Go to 1:14:00. Divorce rates are not just the reflection of the (real) success of the marriages. They're also the reflection of the cultural differences in attitude towards divorce, socioeconomic circumstances etcetera. You could get Lucky in an arranged marriage and naturally evolve to a deeper connection with your partner. But if you follow your heart and intuition from the beginning (which is much wiser than your calculating mind), then your chance of real success, real matrimonial bliss, is bigger, I believe.
@Alfir33
@Alfir33 Месяц назад
This is the most interesting interview. Huge respect. So bright and inspiring!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
@bestestfriend2023
@bestestfriend2023 Месяц назад
Thank you for bringing Mack on here! Yay! ❤
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
You're welcome 🙌
@mariaclarasoares9648
@mariaclarasoares9648 Месяц назад
So, smart and so young!!! Great interview!!! Extremely humble ! Nice
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@suzanne2680
@suzanne2680 2 месяца назад
I had the exact same evolution with jealousy for the same reasons. Lewis. So liberating to let go of that.
@brightpage1020
@brightpage1020 2 месяца назад
Yeah who wants to be with somebody who’d rather be with anyone else? I’ve gotten some tips that jealousy is about my own insecurity - not in an insulting way but as feedback from my body or the world that I don’t feel as confident as I’d like to about our connection - to take it as reminder to work on my own confidence through building myself up to become more secure with myself and less needy of any partner’s approval or attraction. That has helped. I also think being cheated on in a dating or even a “serious” dating relationship like cohabitating is … different on so many levels than a decade together with 4 kids, a home, shared bills, accounts, and a legal plus spiritual union. So much easier to recover from without kids in the mix and how kids change you.
@margaretwilliams5398
@margaretwilliams5398 Месяц назад
Lewis I can relate to what you shared about jealousy and at a certain point I just completely let go and realized you can’t control others.
@ufojeo
@ufojeo 2 месяца назад
Regardless if he doesn’t have the life experience most old heads have, it’s still worth a listen. He’s a scholar and literally does studies on infidelity. This is quite similar to psychologists who do studies, the only difference is the age. Keep an open mind and don’t follow what other people’s ego say on here 🙄
@colleenwoods5065
@colleenwoods5065 2 месяца назад
Thank you for having this guest on, Lewis! I appreciated his humility as he referenced a number of times that he's young and just starting out in his field. We all start somewhere. I think we can do ourselves and society a service by encouraging those in his generation who are illustrating their passions/interests in a way to improve the lives of others. I hope his app assistants couples to have deeper and more meaningful conversations💓 Thanks again, Lewis!
@murphymacken
@murphymacken 2 месяца назад
Thank you for the kind words.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 месяца назад
You're welcome, thank you for watching! 🧡
@zarinatiger6244
@zarinatiger6244 Месяц назад
The jealousy part is true on both ends in my opinion. I mean it's flattering in the beginning then it must die down otherwise it becomes uncomfortable and uncontrollable leading to an unhappy miserable relationship ❤ thank you @Lewis enjoyed this interview✨️
@karenpeatey6226
@karenpeatey6226 Месяц назад
YES YES YES Life changing info - brilliant guys Thankyou Just on the lying segment I remember an expert commenting - our body can’t lie but our brain can That’s why there are always tell tale body language giveaways We lie all the time it’s a part of life - we have a dark side that knows we have to mask our darkness Sometimes we’re trying to be nice but we just can’t Like being in a relationship that we haven’t learned to master or the partner wants a commitment we’re not ready for Or in A job we hate So in these situations we lie Even to ourselves The body will take over - feel sick more often Have an affair or self sabotage Fascinating topic
@alejandradaly9456
@alejandradaly9456 9 дней назад
"I'm not committed emotionally to any ideas .." Crucial !
@enlightenyourself5200
@enlightenyourself5200 Месяц назад
Such a professional and responsible approach to sharing his expertise and his caution where it’s not his area but weighing in with such a vast knowledge of other areas that overlap. I really appreciated this genuine and very insightful conversation into men and women and the many aspects of fidelity . Thank you both 😊
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
I appreciate your feedback, thank you so much for watching! 🙌
@brightpage1020
@brightpage1020 2 месяца назад
A 20sometjing year old is perfectly capable of gaining wisdom worthy of sharing. I wish he had more confidence in his experience.
@chriestinenpape
@chriestinenpape 2 месяца назад
I really enjoy this podcast and appreciate both of their expertise and experience!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 месяца назад
So glad you enjoyed it! Thank you for watching🧡
@ileniaherrera9987
@ileniaherrera9987 20 дней назад
Just wow! Great interview! Well done young man. Thank you for sharing.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 20 дней назад
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@annettepaul3584
@annettepaul3584 2 месяца назад
I’m enjoying the content. I believe science tells us a lot and is overlooked in conversation. Psychology is a research based science too actually.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 месяца назад
Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for being here 🧡
@zaynaa4377
@zaynaa4377 Месяц назад
I love when 😂 macken takes off his specs when talking about something serious
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Месяц назад
for emphasis!
@andreiadetavora8471
@andreiadetavora8471 Месяц назад
@@murphymacken 😅🤣 You're terrific!
@99balloons71
@99balloons71 20 дней назад
That is observant of you. Its good you enoyed from different perspectives. I love it that he has researched such important topics and sharing generously so much of his findings.
@BOT-dv9lz
@BOT-dv9lz Месяц назад
Its two ways to be a father. 1 biological and 2 upbringing wich is the way that are really are important for a human. Its probably not the best to not have both, but having one good father the whole upbringing instead of no one or one bad.
@CorinneAudibert-qy6nm
@CorinneAudibert-qy6nm Месяц назад
Fantastic interview. Refreshing humility, emotional intelligence and big brains here.
@murphymacken
@murphymacken Месяц назад
Thank you!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Thank you for watching🧡
@elisemiddleton2660
@elisemiddleton2660 Месяц назад
Yes! This was interesting and informative, it’s a new perspective to consider with a different approach.
@dolleydano2057
@dolleydano2057 Месяц назад
I really love and enjoy this conversation very detailed. Thank you both
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@felegoasistv7911
@felegoasistv7911 Месяц назад
I loved this interview for it's very interesting topic, Macken's shared findings and research, and as always I felt like Lewis was just snatching the questions from *my mind* as the conversation was flowing. I really loved the apple example in reference to still being led by the heart rather than data. So helpful and thoughtful. Time well spent here Lewis. I always feel more prepared on navigating humanity after a SoG episode.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Thanks! I appreciate your feedback!
@justinanorwath3847
@justinanorwath3847 Месяц назад
I want to share this to my network and more. Thank you Lewis and Macken for this knowledge about infidelity etc 🎉❤
@ronitairengbam8107
@ronitairengbam8107 2 дня назад
Nicely expressed, calm comparison between too. Cool studies 👌
@nannoreul
@nannoreul Месяц назад
Time well spent listening to this entire interview! Most videos on this subject lean strongly into opinion, but this was refreshing with all the evidence and studies packed in there!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡
@user-or3rk4vl5j
@user-or3rk4vl5j Месяц назад
This young man has studied his his filled and knows what he is talking about! I appreciate his candor. I appreciate him, saying this isn’t socially acceptable, but this is what I found, and he just goes with the truth! And I appreciate that greatly!
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
@ingridquintanilla8057
@ingridquintanilla8057 Месяц назад
Absolutely love Macken’s delivery ! He’s so good
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
Thank you so much for your feedback 🙂
@allisonmcpherson7869
@allisonmcpherson7869 Месяц назад
He is such a brilliant young scientist. I found Thais Gibson that specialize in attachment theories and she healed herself and her story of self healing is amazing. I hope maybe you would consider bringing her on as a guest speaker. I also find your interview with Martha very inspiring, she is this amazing awaken human being. I am on this journey alone with self healing. I really don't have an exact map of how to go about it. I am living with my mom and that is a huge challenge, since I find myself reacting to her many times due to past trauma(she was some what abusive), but learning to let go of resentment and forgiving her is a process.
@kristahackleylmt2064
@kristahackleylmt2064 Месяц назад
Ha! All my looks and personality ever did was get me harassed at about every job I've ever had! I've had to leave jobs and States because of abusers and sexual harassment. I'm living life differently now! Whistleblowers RISE UP!
@RavenC1357
@RavenC1357 18 дней назад
I love this. I wish more men and women liked these kinds of relationship podcasts
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 18 дней назад
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@ElDrom_Belle
@ElDrom_Belle 25 дней назад
Wow, the guest is so young and yet so utterly mature and insightful. Whatcan impressive young man. Once again excellent choice Lewis, bravo
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 25 дней назад
Thanks for watching! I'm glad you liked it!
@irinasolarova2636
@irinasolarova2636 17 дней назад
This was so great! I couldn’t believe his age vs his level of maturity and humilty.
@polkadolt
@polkadolt Месяц назад
Don’t confuse LIMERENCE for LOVE!
@missmlb3842
@missmlb3842 2 месяца назад
jealousy segment...that seems to be more of an issue of the security and respect that is supposed to come from your mate. It's interesting because one mate can make you feel and know you are the one, and then there's someone else who triggers what you might call "jealousy," when it may have been an inner alarm of some sort. She may have not really been the woman who really wanted to be with "you."
@DeirdreMFox
@DeirdreMFox Месяц назад
Awesome interview, Macken has a bright career ahead of him.
@MJLQ16
@MJLQ16 Месяц назад
I always enjoy the interviews you provide, Lewis. I think you are able to get people to offer more than they may in other interviews because of your incredibly approachable personality. The only thing I thing I would modify is the number of questions you ask at one time. It seems like you have so much curiosity (which is why these interviews are great) that you ask multiple questions at one time. Often, some of the questions you ask when grouped together, don't get answered. Just my observation. It may just be me! That is always a possibility. Keep up the fantastic podcast!
@MirnaEJiron
@MirnaEJiron Месяц назад
Lewis, you are so on point. I see that young man of 27 holding allot of data but is missing the years of life experience like you and I (I’m 64).
@omradiant
@omradiant 2 месяца назад
Fantastic interview!👍
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 месяца назад
Thank you for taking the time out of your day to check out the interview! So glad you enjoyed it🧡
@kyliejackson-bell810
@kyliejackson-bell810 Месяц назад
What a great guest! I’ve already subscribed to his RU-vid channel ❤ Really appreciate a 26 year old who is kind and humble and not a know it all… such a rare species these days 😂😂😂
@lewishowes
@lewishowes Месяц назад
So glad you enjoyed it! Appreciate you for watching.
@TeriHuebert-tq7kf
@TeriHuebert-tq7kf 3 дня назад
I love this channel!! I just discovered it today and I’m binging.
@lewishowes
@lewishowes 2 дня назад
Glad you enjoyed it!
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