Reviewing Colleen Ballinger's Apology Song 

Andrew Tate practicing the Ukulele as we speak.

I feel like if she wasn't "famous" she'd be one of those middle school teachers you hear of on the news who got arrested for an inappropriate relationship with a student.

This is possibly the greatest act self-sabotage ever. Millions of people who had no clue who she was will now forever remember her for this and only this

She effectively communicates 3 points. 1: The victims are lying. 2: But she actually did do the bad stuff, it just doesn’t make her a bad person, as proven by the ukulele! 3: She is “taking accountability” by blaming everyone else.

As a theatre kid, i think perhaps its time to oppress theatre kids

If she played a keytar I would've accepted her apology

She couldn't even write enough lyrics to get her to the 10 minute monetization mark lol. She made us listen to that damn chorus a million times.

Could you imagine if some guy on "To Catch A Predator" gets busted by Chris Hansen, and when he asks the line: "Well if there anything else you would like to say, we'd like to hear it?", the dude pulls out a ukulele and starts singing "Toxic Gossip Train" for like 10 minutes?!

“I’m not a groomer, just a loser” don’t sell yourself short colleen, you’re both! 🥰

Colleen: "Don't monetize my demise." Also Colleen: *monetizes her demise*

Colleen's PR team discovering this musical atrocity like: 👁️ 👄 👁️ The way I'd quit, leave the country, and change my name

"Im not your friend, you're not my friend." I respect that. Thank you for being honest.

Im not a felon, im just a melon

Colleen : sends her panties to a 13 yr old fan boy at 30 Colleen : ALL ABOARD THE TOXIC GOSSIP TRAIN

"I may have acted really inappropriate with children I didn't know on multiple occasions, but the worse crime is you guys being mean to me about it."

It’s very confusing. One moment she’s saying she made a mistake, and the next she’s saying the allegations are all lies.

This isn't a apology. Look how smug she's being. This is a diss track to the people accusing her and shes acting like this is some petty drama about her farting or something.

SHE NEEDS TO APOLOGIZE FOR THIS SONG NEXT 🗣️ 🔥🔥🔥

everyone agreeing that her apology video and her are both horrible is the closest we are getting to world peace

Colleen: MirandaSings is PG-13 and always has been Also Colleen: Attends Nickelodeon Kid’s Choice Awards as MirandaSings

This has to be the most insincere and condescending apology I’ve ever seen on the internet.

What Anthony fails to understand is that Colleen is a creative, and sometimes creatives feel the need to musically demolish their careers and social lives.

I’m not a rapist. I’m just a bassist.

I love how she plays both sides. "I didn't do anything wrong, it's all rumors guys" followed by "it's ok we all make mistakes we're all human". No admittance for wrongdoing followed by her forgiving herself for wrongdoing that apparently never happened. Also, the comment she made about knowing what the comments are going to be like, they'll say she's gaslighting and lying. THAT'S CAUSE YOU ARE rofl... smh

“We shouldn’t have let white people from my generation touch the ukulele” I died 😂😂

"There is no quicker way for people to think that you are diddling kids than by writing a song about it." -Rob McElhenney, 2011

I don't know about everyone else, but I think she down played her allegations a bit. I never had a "quirky aunt" ask me what my favorite sex position was, nor send me lingerie.

Remember, she had to think about how to apologize, write the song, practice it, hit record on camera, watch the recording and upload the video, there wasn't much stopping her from making this decision

Vote melon 2024

i would've forgiven her if it was called "to pimp an apology"

I feel like if Ghislaine Maxwell had just grabbed a ouekelle and did a "yall is actually toxic" song she would be a free women right now

She's almost 40...so when she says things like "I haven't done it in years" we're still talking about someone in their 30s doing the things she allegedly has done. It isn't a 20 something year old who messed up in their late teens.

Colleen, there are simply some situations in life that you can't just Zooey Deschanel your way out of.

the ukulele community may never recover

I can't tell if Colleen is trying to gaslight people or if she thinks getting a kid onstage, spreading her legs in a dress and leering down at her is so totally a-okay that the only thing she can imagine people disliking is the fart joke part of that.

A pure example of someone who peaked in the 2010s with that goddamn ukulele singing

It's not an apology. She's scolding you through song to accept her pedophilic behavior and framing it as crazy if you don't. She's insane.

"This video won't change anyone's mind about me." It did for me. 24 hours ago, I knew there was some YT comedian who wore way too much lipstick, but I didn't know a single thing about them. Now I know they have well documented accusations of grooming against them because their response video is so monumentally tone-deaf.

She predicted that people were going to call her a gaslighting narcissist but predicting that people are going to state the obvious doesn't make it any less true, lol. "I foresaw you were going to call me 'X' which means that I'm clearly not 'X'! Checkmate, haters." That's not how it works. :'D

"This is why theater kids shouldn't be allowed online" Anthony Factstano

Colleen: *takes a breath & strikes the first chord* Melon: "no."

She pulled out the "white women with an ukelele" defense. Pretty solid if you ask me.

I never expected someone who makes musical content for a living to make an apology video as tone-deaf as this.

I had zero idea who she was until a few days ago. The more i looked into her and learned about her behavior over the course of her career the more i went from "oh, people are taking her out of context and exaggerating things she did and said" to "holy shit, this bish is actually a female Onision.

“I’m taking accountability” in the same line as “everyone is just making stuff up and lying for attention” well. I’m convinced

Nothing quite like a woman accused of sexual offences involving minors adressing said accusations with a passive-agressive ukulele performance

Update/Warning: Colleen just got a copyright for the song and she's making the rounds giving out copyright strikes for videos featuring clips of the song.

The worst of this is when you find out that she is a mother and her child will know any time that her mother accepted this pedo side of her.

At this point the only thing that can salvage this for her is an Ice Spice feature

the fact that an apology video for child exploitation and grooming has a chorus is mind boggling

Every time she insists that she's "taken accountability" it reminds me of the scene in Breaking Bad where Gretchen confronts Walt over him involving her in his lie to his family without her consent or even her knowledge, and he says "I'm sorry" once, without actually acknowledging or owning up to anything, and when she understandably demands an explanation from him, he gets indignant and insists that he already apologized and doesn't owe her anything more than that, and keeps patting himself on the back for his "apology".

10:30 sums it up so perfectly. I kept thinking "how many takes did she do without having that self realization?"

it’s honestly a great song if you ignore the lyrics and context and accusations and tone of voice and expressions and ukulele

as a theater kid who’s been institutionalized a few times i know that you have to sign off saying you won’t buy a gun for like 5 years but i still feel very unsafe knowing that i have access to the ukulele that has been chilling in my dads garage since like 2015

Every RU-vid commentator should be thanking her for allowing them to create non essential reaction content to fill the time

12:04 that freeze frame

Offering "this is what's wrong with society" platitudes instead of actual ownership, an influencer apology classic.

Ghislaine Maxwell would have won her court case if she just brought a ukulele onto the stand.

I watched Colleen for years, and I always kinda got a weird vibe from her. Like there were times where she would complain about the weirdest stuff and have a 'woe is me' attitude. It just seemed like there was always something and that it was someone else's fault.

On topic. This lady has a fantastic sense of rhythm. She stops for ten seconds and picks up the beat dead on. All while singing and acting.

the most infuriating part of the song is the fact that she could come up with a hook, verses, a bridge & an encore but couldn’t come up with a single chord progression

The "crazy, I know

I like how she had the audacity to send this video to someone she directly victimized by sharing their adult content with her underage fans while critiquing it and simultaneously acting like they were their best friend.

I would have never heard a thing about this woman and the horrible things she’s done if she didn’t choose to write this song.. so I guess we can thank her for that, really got the word out

"We got to write a song about how we do not diddle kids." "There is no quicker way to make people think you are diddling kids than by writing a song about it."

“Even when apologizing she can’t be age appropriate” this had me dead 💀😂🙈

The smash cut between this apology and her blackface performance of “Single Ladies” is just… *chefs kiss*

Best song ever 10/10 -blaming people -telling lies -ukulele -child grooming and harrassing Whst you could ask more.

Imagine messing up an apology so bad that even Anthony Fantano has legitimate grounds to make a video about it. This is a new level of Streisand Effect.

crazy how she dropped a 10 minute spoken word theater core singer-songwriter uke ballad with twee elements as an apology

All this needed was a kazoo solo to truly drive it home

Honestly a part of me wonders if she knows she can possibly lose custody of her kids if one of her victims decides to take her to court. Unfortunately, her being the mom lowers the chances of her kids being taken away (since family courts commonly lean towards the mom’s favor) but the possibility is still there

“ruin the life of the person you despise while you dramatize your lies and monetize their demise” was some lyrical spiritual miracle type shit fr

What makes it funnier is that she's like "my lawyers never said I can't sing" but then she spends half of the song just talking while strumming at the same time, like some pseudo-spoken word thing

13:10 “I’m not a groomer just a loser” that hiss after she said that was such an instinctive response 😂

1:52 can we appreciate Colleen asking a minor for pics and them replying with 'go away b****' LMFAOOOOO

This was so painful. There’s been some awful RU-vid apologies over the years, this easily takes the cake.

this woman had the nerve to make a prog-rock length ukulele song thats the most unforgiveable part for me

I made a severe and continuous lapse in my judgement, and I don’t expect to be forgiven. I’m simply here to apologize. What we came across in the woods that day was obviously unplanned. The reactions you saw on tape were raw; they were unfiltered. None of us knew how to react or how to feel. I should have never posted the video. I should have put the cameras down and stopped recording what we were going through. There's a lot of things I should have done differently but I didn't. And for that, from the bottom of my heart, I am sorry. I want to apologize to the internet. I want to apologize to anyone who has seen the video. I want to apologize to anyone who has been affected or touched by mental illness, or depression, or suicide. But most importantly I want to apologize to the victim and his family. For my fans who are defending my actions, please don't. I don’t deserve to be defended. My goal with my content is always to entertain; to push the boundaries, to be all-inclusive. In the world I live in, I share almost everything I do. The intent is never to be heartless, cruel, or malicious. Like I said I made a huge mistake. I don’t expect to be forgiven, I’m just here to apologize. I'm ashamed of myself. I’m disappointed in myself. And I promise to be better. I will be better. Thank you.

I'm not sure how she doesn't recognize the hypocrisy of the song - in one part she says these are all "lies and rumors," but in another part, she basically says "yeah, I was like the weird aunt who says inappropriate shit." She's simultaneously saying she did these things and *didn't* do these things. I'm sure she's only technically referring to the really bad shit when she says "I didn't do it," but she had to have known how it would come across. But I guess she's just so narcissistic that she can't see it from anyone else's perspective.

I mean she can’t be guilty she sang a song melon lol.

I have no idea how she managed to write this song, perform it probably with multiple takes, film it, and upload it without her or her legal team realizing that it was a terrible idea. The level of delusion is disgusting.

Monetize eyes demise is the actual equivalent to lyrical spirtiual miracle

It's not an apology. It's a confession!

This new Colleen Ballinger apology, is *NOT GOOD*

Since that one RU-vidr apologized by interpretive dance and Colleen apologized with a song, I can't wait for the eventual RU-vidr Apology: The Musical!

The creepiest part of the "song" was how it effectively tries to frame child grooming as being somehow "quirky" and harmless when it's a woman. If she were a man doing the things she's allegedly done, and then doubled down with a gaslighting song, she'd be absolutely annihilated. Like, full on lynch mobs and prison justice and shit. I'm glad basically nobody is buying her bullshit, she kinda outed herself by being so obviously sketchy with this video that will almost certainly be used against her in court.

I just think about how self satisfied she must’ve felt while writing this song.

I would've never known she was a creep if it wasn't for this song.

I hope genius reaches out to her so she can break down the lyrics 🤞

As a former thester kid. She thinks this is her act 2 relevatory solo when this is clearly the act 1 character set up song that will be used as a letmotif all the way through act 2 where she gets her comeuppance/has an epiphany/etc.... and sings this song again with some key phrases and intonations changed, put in a different key, and possibly sung at a different tempo. Unfortunately i dont think she has the actual emotional capacity to be act 2. Shes firmly stuck as an act 1 and will never grow and change.

5:30-5:45 "Even when apologizing, she can't be age appropriate" Lmfao

could you imagine if your lawyer goes up to the stand and says: "your honor...." *WHIPS OUT THE UKELELE AND BREAKS INTO SONG*

I just love the irony of her saying that we're "monetizing her demise" in a video that is ten minutes long so she can get monetization from it.

Colleen was raised by evangelists in a household of like seven. This is the result of evangelistic parenting

I LOVE how you added the Philly D clip!! Great creators, both of you.

this apology is is so sinister, like the simmering rage pouring out of her, the way you can feel that she’s boiling and wants to scream “bUt i AlREADY SAID SORRY!!!!” like it’s so infantile and pathetic hahaha. like i cannot believe this is real. imagine being so narcissistic.

There’s too many screenshots for her to be responding this way tbh lmao

6:03 as a theater kid, he’s correct

the worst part is the insinuation that being called a groomer is as bad as being groomed