Reviewing listener's Fantasies, Intrusive Thoughts, & Dating Conundrums! (ft. editor Abi 😍!)

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EP 69 - IYKYK: All Your Sex Fantasies Revealed + Making Dating Apps Work for You
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It’s the one we’ve all been waiting for…the milestone of the century…the 69th EPISODE. Join Jess and Caroline (and a special guest??) to talk all your kookiest sex fantasies, including respected older gentlemen, tears as foreplay, marketplace porn, pod sex, and…Catwoman?
And then one person’s fantasy gets Jess and Caroline in rumination mode: is your sex better if your relationship is better? Plus, they discuss how to work through sex insecurities, asking someone out in real life, and the many dynamics of dating apps. Warning: ghosts may be involved.
Thanks to Alex-Productions for the music!
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Not for Everyone is a podcast hosted by one hater (Caroline Winkler) and one lover (Jess DeBakey), with new episodes every Thursday.
Spotify: open.spotify.c...
Apple Podcasts: podcasts.apple...
And everywhere else: podcasters.spo...
Plus our merch store: ⁠not4everyonepo...
***
And FOLLOW US on Instagram for more:
@not4everyonepod
@thegoodsitter
@jzdebakey
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This episode was produced by none other than our prince, @abinewhouse.
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Share with a friend! Subscribe and rate us on your favorite podcasting app! Review us on Apple Podcasts!
***
𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐂𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐑
All opinions are our own. We are not therapists or mental health professionals, or really professional of any kind. Please see your own professional or counselor for professional support. Do your research and be safe!
Intro Music: “Doja Dance” by PALA
#podcast #selfhelp #comedypodcast #bestfriends

Опубликовано:

30 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 67

@lapooh 5 месяцев назад

I loved getting to know Abby a bit. She seems like the kindest, most empathetic soul ❤ Pls have her back!

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

true, and TRUE! she is specifically these things ❤

@irenegrijalvotarres 5 месяцев назад

Caroline is never going to sleep again. Can't believe you've done this to her. Friends LIE about the ghosts so their friend can sleep 😂

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

truly why would they do this to me. in cahoots with the ghosts

@janetgeorgieva224 5 месяцев назад

I love how you keep passing the mic but we can perfectly hear Caroline even without it 😂❣

@CRG_ 5 месяцев назад

lol it’s funny 😂 but I think they use different audio for the video (maybe camera audio). Caroline sounds far away on the podcast when she doesn’t have the mic

@sanne5412 5 месяцев назад

Yesss

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

haha that does look foolish watching it now. but yes lol the mics pick up audio for the podcast - and the camera mic pics up for the video 🫣

@kristin7762 5 месяцев назад

I’m here to grammar-shame your title here. I’m honestly wondering if you could just text Liz before posting. The possessive of more than one listener is listeners’. We really need to keep the plural possessive alive. And we need to pronounce it correctly as well (not listeners-ziz). I am in fact trying to get a life and stop leaving you these comments but it’s a long process. Forgive me.

@PoissonDemiVide 5 месяцев назад

I love this comment so much 😂 I’m a grammar cop IRL, not online, but I’m still no fun at parties. The recognition and admission that you know you’re coming off as a jerk, but you do it for the love of the grammar game (and you’re working on it), is perfect. 🫶

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

haha shame accepted

@AbigailAnn 5 месяцев назад

I love feeling like I’m at a slumber party with the gals here

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

next time i'm going to make them all wear PJs with me

@christinefryoux174 5 месяцев назад

Hi girls! I copied and pasted this definition of when you hear something once then notice it again and again. It actually has a name! The frequency illusion (also known as the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon) is a cognitive bias in which a person notices a specific concept, word, or product more frequently after recently becoming aware of it.

@conniethornbury9464 5 месяцев назад

Right! It's confirmation bias. It also may be that Caroline is so engaging that even spirits like following her. 😅

@Idkokyes 5 месяцев назад

This sounds similar to the Reticular Activating System in our brains that finds things that we want to focus on. It’s like a sorting system so we can digest the world without being overwhelmed by everything at once.

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

YES!! frequency illusion! ugh thank you. so so fascinating

@8rainbowcaterpillar 5 месяцев назад

Something to distinguish the intro teaser clips would be great so I skip past it bc I love getting to those as they actually came up

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

oh good suggestion! will do next time, thank you for the callout!

@rosebudje28 5 месяцев назад

Carolineee you look so cute! Love that outfit. I want it haha.

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

what the heck!! thank you

@rosebudje28 5 месяцев назад

@@Not4EveryonePod oh hahaha! I thought it was a blazer with white pants! Well I still stand by with what I said :D

@dakine4238 5 месяцев назад

I feel weird for commenting so frequently because I only have a few channels I actually get excited about when they upload this being one of them since I can relate to it (now I know how tweens feel). I'm not sure how much attention you guys give to comments but I recall in the last episode Jess saying she felt people would judge her for not being a certain look or shape if she started a RU-vid channel and I just want to say that I hope that doesn't deter you Jess. We actually need to see more real people out there doing their thing. I grew up with the 90s influence and I remember we had so much variety in terms of people being popular like Queen Latifah as one example who owned her body and looks amongst others. I.recall just thinking how cool and confident she was and still is. People love and except her as she is. Anyway, there probably will be hate and people will say awful things but I also believe there will be a lot of support. Just hope that outweighs the trolls. I don't know how that would be to handle, but anyway just felt like sharing that.

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

i love this and I couldn't agree more. Jess is obviously beautiful in about a hundred different ways. But i also do understand the fear - when sharing yourself on the internet you just never know what you're gonna get, what mood you'll catch people in, or what people will project on to you. that's just the wya of the internet. but it's for that very reason that this intimate and safe feeling audience is so apprecaited

@dakine4238 5 месяцев назад

@@Not4EveryonePod aww such a sweet comment

@dakine4238 5 месяцев назад

Abi seems so sweet. Also, just an idea but you could have listeners/watchers send in voice recordings of their questions/stories or videos.

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

i love this!

@marthaspitzl4989 5 месяцев назад

Did Justin look your RU-vid up before you dated and what did he think about you (Caroline) being a RU-vidr?

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

he did look me up! mostly to listen to my voice, he says. haha. i'll ask him if he'll weigh in on the rest of the convo. he may be an upcoming special guest on the pod...... :)

@MachkasterOnTheRoof 5 месяцев назад

Thank you, Abby, for reading my fantasy. 😏

@KimixKicks 5 месяцев назад

I loved this episode! I would love a book club episode/episodes about the book Come Together by Emily Nagoski! I'd love to hear what conversations come from discussing that book. Her books have been such a light to me. I was like Jess with feeling so naive and late to the party when it came to having sex. And she has really helped normalize so much about sex and pleasure and how couples actually have great sex.

@SecurelyInsecure 5 месяцев назад

Abby made me laugh 🤭 so hard at the end when she outre’d (I don’t know how to write ‘outro’) y’all’s podcast.

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

a brutal impression but it rang true haha

@SecurelyInsecure 5 месяцев назад

@@Not4EveryonePod 😂😃😀

@madeleinetheresewiegers 5 месяцев назад

My old roommate lived in our apartment for an entire year before I moved in. Once I moved in, weird shit started happening, like pans falling off of the counter unprompted, guests hearing giggling/voices in their ears when they were trying to sleep, etc. My roommate's mom even told me, "You're a conduit who brings energies with you." Oooookay well that's just lovely isn't it! So I'm totally with you, Caroline. It's not the apartment. It's me!

@properconciete14 5 месяцев назад

OMG GET A DREAMCATCHER ABD PHT ONE IN EVERY ROOM 😂 it will neutralize the spooky energy 😂

@bekiitrip 5 месяцев назад

Did Abi grow up LDS? What she shared definitely made my Mormon sensors tingle, as someone who grew up in that community and felt a lot of quietness and shame about sex growing up!

@jrr4475 5 месяцев назад

Looks too young to have been married for 10 years. LDS is the only explanation. F-ing cult members...

@MissCourt88 5 месяцев назад

SAME! My sensors were tingling too. I’d love to hear more from Abi about that!

@TabrizWalker 5 месяцев назад

Purity culture, modesty, and sex shame were in my culture too as Pentecostal/Evangelical/Fundamentalist Christians. Even in the new testament I believe Paul writes that a man absolutely should not have sex, just at all, but if he can't control his lust, then he should just get married lol. Mormons are on the most extreme end I guess. But yeah getting married young is common for a lot of religious groups.

@413078291 5 месяцев назад

Sooo Many haunted homes/buildings have an overgrowth of toxic mold!!! I lived this first hand and now everyone needs to know. The EPA estimates 80% of homes are moldy, is yours? is the mold toxic? Aspergillus Niger caused insomnia, waking 2-4am, anxiety, phantom nerve tingling & pain for me. Spread the word!!

@anyaroz8619 5 месяцев назад

Wait, Caroline, what? You haven't watched Poor Things?!?!?!?! This is absolutely "your" kind of movie (in my opinion of course, which I might be totally wrong about you). But, hey, can you at least give it a try? You will most probably love it

@CarlyCarlson 5 месяцев назад

What are the voices in the background, starts around 8:31? 8:31

@sheepanddog4825 5 месяцев назад

"but this is toxic!" XD most of the sex phantasies in practical life are toxic...

@FrogeniusW.G. 5 месяцев назад

"Now Caroline and I are here alone. What's that mean for my safety?" 😂😂

@kisikisikisi 5 месяцев назад

I like Abi! She's funny and pretty

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

can confirm. and smart and sooooo kind

@brianna.pichardo 5 месяцев назад

Spot on with the impressions Abby 😂😂

@liz4581 5 месяцев назад

I love Jess's hair!!!!!!!!!!

@chanuppuluri8726 5 месяцев назад

🤣🤣🤣 the dream pun segment cracked me up

@cmarie924 5 месяцев назад

I disagree with the “every interaction is information” sentiment, I think it’s a common female trait to over-analyze and put weight to things that are meaningless. Cue the video where Caroline spent 24 hours sobbing over thinking Justin broke up with her just because he wasn’t actively texting her. Men function differently… wait until you get to know them and can confirm a pattern and intention before drawing conclusions.

@TabrizWalker 5 месяцев назад

Sure, but you took the quote out of context. Every interaction is info in the sense that you can understand that you're not for everyone and if people don't "vibe" with what you say, then it's not a cue for you to bend backwards to make them "get" you, it's information that this person probably isn't gonna be your person. They've shared a lot about being people pleasers, and accepting casual rejection or unenthusiasm as a neutral thing that pushes you closer to where you resonate is a really profound thing for people pleasers. Caroline being vulnerable on RU-vid about the time she spiraled was more talking about her general anxiety that can attach itself to anything, not that she was self-destructing a good relationship. She's self aware enough that she knew she was feeling crazy WHILE feeling crazy.

@TabrizWalker 5 месяцев назад

Also 24 hours sobbing is a massive exaggeration and she's not into texting very much. It was her saying that she really was really into this guy and her emotional stakes were so high, and the external stuff (e.g. their limited text exchanges) wasn't the big picture focus. This misinterpreting is why a lot of RU-vidrs trim their content down to vapid sterility, reaction vids, consumerist content, etc. bc people are just determined to make objections. It's why a typical RU-vidr phrase is along the lines of "THIS MAY NOT BE THE CASE FOR YOU BUT IT WAS THE CASE FOR ME HERE." You hear this constantly on RU-vid. Ironically, your objection is a good example of the point you're rejecting: "the people who get it, get it, and the people who don't, don't"

@Not4EveryonePod 5 месяцев назад

i take your point! but also love the points below! hard to always articulate the full stance in a few minutes of a podcast. but i also get what you're saying and don't disagree!

@savanahmuses 5 месяцев назад

Jess!! Listening to your solo episode right now and love it-- pleeease read or listen to the audiobook, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert, I think you will love it-- it is really inspiring and permission giving. Anyways I love you. You are killing it, XOXO

@ciaramacb 5 месяцев назад

I want to first off say, I LOVED this episode! & I loved having the addition of Abbi on the pod. But truly I am here to ask if we ever figured out which song was the "& I know & I know & I know?" Because I don't think I can listen to Chris Brown & Davido - Sensational without hearing Jess singing this in my head. Jus sayin. 😂🤣

@brianna.pichardo 5 месяцев назад

Listening on Spotify, and just want to say, I understand Abby forgetting to articulate her love for you, Caroline. Like, isn’t it obvious? 😂

@ashleydobson1532 5 месяцев назад

🧡💜🧡💜🧡💜

@gabsasusual 5 месяцев назад

Hahahah Abby’s face expressions while you’re talking about kinky stuff 😂 lol

@kellikakes81 5 месяцев назад

26:26 i am too Jess!! My boyfriend is the same. I actually hate the bad boy part of him but love that he only opens up to me waaaay more than ANYBODY else. Don't know if you're into MBTI (probably not), but he's an ISTJ (im enfp) so those types are very guarded. I've also known him since I was 15 (I'm 43 now), and it took me till I was 25 to get that side of him and it progressively gets better year after year (we were just friends at that time too). Ok this is too long now lol