The upsetting part for me is wanting to enjoy sex, but knowing men will judge you for doing it- somehow you become “not worth dating” even though they also participated 🙄
To shed some light on this for ya... a lock that has no key is a strong lock. a lock that can be opened by any key is a weak lock. See the point? Very similar to women expecting a man to take her out and pay but then she doesn't give anything up but her time. Both are double standards.
This is such a woman thing to say, if you give sex up easily what that tells a man is you are easy...no man wants to date an easy woman. Sorry, it's how men are. Just like women won't date men who are below them in the social hierarchy. Stop moaning about it.
That is very frustrating indeed. Even worse, I know people that will do anything to get a woman into bed. But once they manage, they lose respect for her. Because she was so 'easy'. Meanwhile they slept with 50+ chicks. Fcking hate double standards.
Wow amazing video. My aunt gave me the most important lesson about sex. "If he isn't daddy material, he isn't sex material". Her meaning was that pregnancy should be part of the conversation as condoms break and birth control is never 100% guaranteed. In other words, if you don't want this man to father your baby (a.k.a. he will be attached to you for the life of that baby) keep your legs crossed. My aunt was bold but it was the best advice she ever gave me. A lot of guys left after I had that conversation prior to sex. The ones that stayed were men of substance. Keep your standards very high ladies for your sake and God forbid to the child you may bring to this world planned or unplanned.
I've always had this attitude but people (men and women) think it's paranoid I guess they think you could always get an abortion but that's not an option for me
I'm a man and was very particular in what woman i chose to sleep with. I had to have at least an emotional connection with them to feel right about sleeping with them. I met my wife and have been with her 36 years, 33 married. I fall in love with her every day. I hope others find what i have.
It is. But dont be too serious about it dear. Make many friends. Enjoy the freedom. Dont put high hopes. Keep your standards. The right man will eventually come along. All the best 🤗🌷💗
Online Dating is a Knocking Shop as the Women or Men if you are a Lady are usually,not always, just straight jump into bed first night people. It's very rare that you find true love on a scam ridden Dating Site.
@@apollo-eu4fk you'd be surprised. Sex to guys is a thing for which we can kill. Waiting a month and then having sex with her for a few months before jumping onto the next wagon with a different woman. It's very common. So many poor innocent girls fell victims to this manipulative esque behaviour.
I am facing losing self respect after a guy has ghosted after sex. This video is like someone holding me, and say to me that it is alright. Thank you ❤
Be gentle to yourself, you are not responsible for his actions. I would be happy someone as him is out of my life. Experience is always welcome to build a better future, 💜🥂
Absolutely love this! I was shamed by my conservative community if I had sex early on with someone I connected with and their argument was typically "he looses interest and respect". I always said if I am attracted the vibe and setting was right and even if we established we weren't in a place for a long term relationship I would follow my heart 'consciously'. I have had magical experiences with guys who ended up great friends, and hookups that turned out into dating for a year. My answer was 'if he disappears cause I was authentic and didnt play games, that's on him'.
“You gave energy but you didn’t lose anything. You just lost a person that you can be glad you lost” Thanks Matt. I needed this. I was worried that he will lose interest just because we had sex on the first date.
i was just ghosted by someone after being celibate for 15 years. thank you so much for reminding me that I didn't give my power but my energy and time, I felt so very empty, angry with myself and with him. I believe i was clear about my expectations so this really hit me hard.
Screw the person who left you!! Your “self love account” is still flourishing and the universe will gift them appropriately for their selfishness. I was celebrate for almost year and slept with someone I thought loved me. However, after many tears and blocking him, I feel relieved and protected!!! God knew what I couldn’t see. I enjoyed the intimacy and the release of energy but it’s time to simply move on and forward. He was in the way of someone much more in tune with their masculinity and their feelings, is how I look at it🫠 His lost.
It has happened to me twice now. We start talking, they express so much interest and say how much they like me, how they are also looking for a deep connection and relationship and we end up sleeping together then they bail. They don’t text anymore, they don’t have time. I mean why not just say what you want other than lie like that. Men do not want to put an effort anymore, they want to have fun without a responsibility to their words or the fact that you created a profile for a relationship. One lesson: do not trust anything they say whatsoever especially in the beginning, only give it time as much time as you can. 10:28 omg exactly it!!!! Avoiders- that’s why I now believe in keep pushing what you want, standing up for you want out of the connection and nothing less
There was a guys did the same to me. We were seeing each other for a few weeks and I said to him: I wanna go slow, I’m not looking for any adventure. He said he was ok with that, he likes me and for him it’s fair that we progress slowly. On the day we decided to have sex he told me he was moving to another country in 2months 😅🤡 For the record. I’m turning 30 this year. I’m not a young girl, I’m not naive . I have experience. But this is not under let my control. The shit they say to have sex is impressive
Well, you can't expect men to WANT to put in effort simply to have sex when there are so many women giving it away for free. If you want a man to put effort into being with you then you need to be worth his effort. Likewise, he should be worth yours. But I sense, from your comment, that you're unable to realize that MOST people you meet and hook up with are not going to become your husband or a LTR. Women have to navigate a minefield of emotions. But men have to navigate a field of legality and financial risk every time they hook up with a woman (ever heard of the Me2 movement?). Y'all's investment is equal to that of checkers while a man's invest is equal to that of chess - not even the same game and one is far harder than the other.
@@oakleysin8766 sorry, didn’t get your point. Wht the “ me too “ movement has to do in this context ? We’re talking about consented sex/relationship. And which financial investment a guy has to do to hook up ? Nowadays they text you: do you wanna come over watch some Netflix and chill They don’t even offer a popcorn and most of the times they don’t have any condoms (just to relate to Matt’s video) I have to buy condoms myself to hook up with guys to avoid this embarrassing situation. I wish you could explore more your points. I’m really open to learn more
Men have a higher need for physical intimacy than women. So many unscrupulous men will use any trick in the book to get the woman to ‘connect’ with him emotionally so that she will be more agreeable to meeting his needs (often convincing the woman that they are hers too). Follow your grandmothers’ advice: if you give the milk for free, there’s no need to buy the cow. It sounds kind of brash, but the concept is still true. Hold onto your modesty and chastity and only commit to a man physically when he has committed to you on paper in front of God, friends and family. Men understand laws and rules. If he’s breaking moral laws and rules with you, he’s using you and lying to you.
@@marcelaborges9912 Marcela, you have to stop what you’re doing. You’re allowing yourself to be used by men. I’m sorry, I know this sounds harsh, but it’s true. And someone has to say it. Do not go over to his house for Netflix and chill. You DON’T need a man you met online to hang with. You have your friends for that. You’re looking for a potential husband, I’m guessing? Then why are you accepting such appalling behavior from random men?? If a guy calls you over for Netflix and chill, say pass. I feel you need to do a lot and lot of reading to rewire your programming. Tinder is the worst thing that happened to women. They’re being used by unscrupulous men and don’t even know it. Please listen to RC Blakes. He’s the father that everyone needs. You need to learn to see yourself differently, and then you’ll start having different experiences with men. Good men exist and are out there, but you need to put in the work and change your mental/emotional programming. I know it’s a lot what I said, but start with RC Blakes’ Queenology videos. Please do this for yourself.
If you speak up this, and he says he is gonna wait for you, that also does not mean, that he is gonna wait. He can say, that he waits, and disappears after having sex after a lot of times and dates, or the worst... He say, he waits for you, and during this time he sleeps with another girls. You find out the truth just after he sleeps with you. My opinion is: sleep with him whenewer you feel that it is a good choice, and not on the dependence of fear or pressure! In that case, if he won't commit after, you still have the confidece, because you more less feel to regret it, because you did it just for you, instead of external circumstances.
Doing it for yourself, with 0 expectation from the guy is the best. But don't ignore red flags, or have sex so fast he could not even have enough time to start to love you even if you already have deep passion.
Why wouldn't he sleep with other women? Men want to be with women that WANT them. Women make rules for guys that want to sleep with them, and, break rules for guys they want to sleep with.
@@pecoguy but who says a man cannot love you after he sleeps with you?? If he enjoys his time with you and can open up to you like he couldnt do with others then he can definitely love you in time. Im not an expert but dont men want women who want them and make them feel supported and comfortable? Maybe im the idiot here who knows🤣
DON'T do it women!! It is true.. a quality guy, that sincerely likes you, will respect YOUR timing! Truth is.. nothing is as exciting as the build up and foreplay prior to that.. you'll be looking back one day, remembering those early times.. also, now I know why Matthew's advice is so wonderful.. he's so caring towards women's self esteem and wellbeing... like hes giving advice to his daughter:)... appreciate it!!!:))
what really happens is, he thought he had deeps feelings but after sex when the feelings is not there he realize it was just lust. happens to both men and women
Sure does. I want to wait long enough to believe the feelings aren't just Lust. It happens to women all the time, if they're honest. They may come up with other reasons but that's what sex can show you.
As a man I love it when a women makes me wait, not to hold s@x against me but to prove she’s got some self respect. I hate it when I go on a date with a women I really like and she gives it up on the first date. Most men who are serious know that if she’s given it to me on the first date then I’m not the first. I’m probably number 30 in line….
Thank you for reminding and clarifying that a women's power is a lot more than sex. I was/am so trapped in this belief and I'm starting to understand why I sometimes felt awful when I had sex with someone but didn't have the conversation and acted like I was ok with going casual: I felt powerless.
Here in lies a major difference between majority of men and majority of women. Men will speak up. We are far less agreeable. Having said that, it's not the responsibility of men, and only men, to ensure you're comfortable with sex. Women need to be able to, like an adult, speak up and make their intentions known.
@@oakleysin8766 Fear of consequence (from men) and victim blaming are major reasons that women don't speak up in regards to sex. It's important that everyone double & triple check that their partner is okay with what's going on AND that everyone vocalizes their needs/wants/boundaries during intimate moments
I love how my gf made me wait; it has made our relationship feel really special, and each milestone feels very important and meaningful. I'm 49 and feel like I'm 17!
One thing I've learned that's so important is that convos about sexual intimacy need to happen outside the bedroom. Seems simple but when passion is involved it's about 100 x's more difficult.
Fucking hell. I'm just realising how uncomfortable I am with sex and how I feel so disgusting being with a man that doesn't love me regardless of how much he respects me. I'm just not comfortable at all with hook up culture and trying to fit in with it is just hurting myself.
This is so powerful. Recently I made that choice when ask by a new partner and within 2 day he started turning on me. Saying, he saw negative behavior in me. Not true, only assertive behavior and boundary setting about a totally unrelated subject and my questioning his right to be angry but I couldn’t. I know at that moment this was not a relationship I wanted to continue. After blowing up my phone with craziness, I replied, I have shown you nothing but kindness, goodbye Done
It's so good of you to keep good boundaries so you can identify the trash from the gems. You only need to find one gem, unfortunately, it's usually by going through a lot of trash.
I am so glad to hear this today. There are so many guys that tell me they just want a hookup. This turns me off, but I did have sex too soon with a guy, things did not end well with this relationship, and to top it off, he blamed it on the booze he had that day. I dodged a bullet with that guy, got a health check, and the lesson is re learned here. Even by saying no you will get the answer, if he ghosts you that is an answer...the next relationship was better, he wanted to talk about sex, and I drew the line I told him "if you want to have sex I want to be in a relationship so I know he's serious, I need a commitment to even go forward, I only talk about those things with a boyfriend." He quickly did a 180, he ghosted me, but I was still proud of myself for being open, and honest. I deserve to be treated with respect. From those two relationships I feel better, in both instances the guys just wanted a hookup. But the second time I felt so much better about myself.
The only thing you lost is an emotionally unavailable and immature and ridiculous man who is not worthy of you and your energy! 1. Know your value!!! (Do NOT doubt yourself.) 2. Take yourself and your worth seriously. You need to BE A QUEEN to be treated like one. 3. Don’t give easy access to anyone, at any time. Access to your energy should be expensive. 4. Do NOT only express your boundaries. YOU MUST show them. 5. Always be ready to walk away. 6. Show that you are focused on actions not on words. 7. Have a healthy degree of skepticism. You’re not naive and you’re not negative. 8. You must be willing to say NO and you must be willing to lose the man, if needed. 9. Never EVER chase a man! A truly worthy woman, (who knows her worth) does not EVER chase a man. Giving the same energy that you're getting is key and if you don't like that energy then move on!!! NOW!!! It can be hard but that's when you need to choose yourself over the damn illusion/fantasy. A man who loves a woman will not ignore her, ever, period. So... If he ignores me I will step back and he will lose me. Simple. Simple. Non-dramatic and uncomplicated. I don’t, under any circumstance: play these childish-abusive-controlling mind games. I will only be with a man who values and appreciates me, and treats me as the Queen, I AM. (Daughter of the Most Hight; King of kings!) Because I am a beautiful and kind and divine and sexy and wise and intelligent and magical woman: who knows my worth. Period. Also, We create each moment. This moment contains, through my focus, both positive and negative... I can put my attention on what I lack, what I don't have, what traumas I do have etc... And, I can put my attention on the calm moment that I am in, NOW, the food I just ate, and the fact that my body is satisfied, the shelter I do have... (You get my idea!) Both are here... And now. For the sake of fairness, I will allow myself to cry my pains, in the moment if/when they come/arise, AND also acknowledge the beauty I still have in my life NOW. Pain? Yes. Suffering? Indeed. And, also: wonderous magical divine beauty. Blessings to you!
I’ve had 3 serious relationships (including the one I’m in now) and I’ve only been with as many people as I can count on one hand. And sex happened at different times depending on how things were moving along. The first, we waited 6 months, the 2nd relationship 3 months. The 3rd was like 4 days after meeting 😅… but this 3rd guy is who I’m married to and we’ve been together almost 18 yrs, married for 15! 😍 I’ve been lucky to have dated good men and none of them were about just the sex. Yes, sex was important but they genuinely wanted more. I think we always throw men under the bus about just pursuing a women for one thing only but I think some do and some men want more. I’m a bit bias of course bc of my positive experiences but I know it’s not always an ALL men or ALL women thing. Even tho things moved faster for my husband and I, he always said he wanted more than sex, so did my 2 exs!
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Hello, I am 19 and I am just starting to enter the dating world. Your videos have helped so much in building my confidence in dating and in myself. Thank you so much!
I wish you all the best with your journey, Evelyn! I'm 67, married once, then divorced, and still interested in men around my age, but oddly, despite all the overt ageism from many men of my era, I have a lot more power now. I would've had it from the start if I'd have known it was OK to verbalise my own feelings - actually, to HAVE my own desires, which seemed to be beyond my dear mother's comprehension. God bless you.
I m 21 never hugged ,kissed or felt the touch of any guy, forget abt sex ..went to girls school then girls college ......life seems like hell to me now ...
@@divinejudgement17 no it's "not uncommon", which means it's "more common than you think" and purposefully highlights the fact that you may think it's uncommon. But it's actually not.
Watching stuff like this reinforces my belief in not having premarital sex. i never have to worry about any of this. it seems so complicated and like you're just setting yourself up for heartbreak. appreciate the wisdom and depth, matthew! the world needs more men like you
Yes! I was afraid I was the only one waiting until marriage on this channel. Honestly, many of the flirting tips he gives seem to insinuate some kind of sexual interaction--which makes me wonder how I can take his advice while not giving a guy the wrong idea... 😅
Same here. I feel even more grateful for my beliefs that have spared me so many heartache and wrong decisions. One day when I meet the man that would be my husband, I'll go with eyes wide open knowing we are both fully committed, safe and it's not just lust but true love. And thank you Matthew for being honest about the topic too, because that other side of premarital sex is rarely talked about.
“Owning your standard” is KEY! The other person’s ‘standards’ need to be known. Standards reflect core values, which have to mesh or there’s no hope for a solid relationship.
You just made me cry Matthew! I always thought I was alone in this topic. Sometimes get sad thinking sex with an extraordinary connection will never come for me but I'm still standing to my values until I can actually feel respected, safe and loved to make that conscious decision. I just can say THANK YOU MATTHEW! 💌
This came at the right time. I just came out of a 7 year relationship when we both realized that we are better as friends than lovers. I have started dating again and have met an amazing person but I would now like to take it much slower rather than jumping into bed early like I did with the first relationship. This is a conversation that will be had.
Now that you're 7 years older and carrying the weight of all of your life experiences up to this point... you went 'too fast' with the last BF. But why would the next BF pay even more than the previous BF when he's getting a car with more miles?
And have a child who was around 5 years old at the age of break up? Old enough to not be a crippling demand on your time and attention to survive now? So the NEED for the baby father has diminished? And now you want to repeat the cycle again with the most AROUSING man you can attract, but you're prioritizing the long term benefits of the next man over the desire to have HIS CHILD? How am I doing?
Matt, I've been following you for years and this is honestly one of your best videos. Such an important topic, yet one we rarely discuss or learn how to navigate. Thank you for making a video about this.
This is one of the best videos, Matthew, thank you so much! I wish all of us to meet people whose intentions match ours and be happier than we already are!
I'm married now, but I feel like your words are helping heal a younger me, who went through such pain when it came to sexual relationship dynamics. I am so pleased to know you are here to provide these perspectives and messages to people. ❤
thank you so much for this.. bookmarking it. I was just used for sex by someone that made me feel like he wanted more.. it’s so hard to not be depressed and feel used 😔😞 tired of the heartbreak
Thank you for this Matt, conversation is not hard, its the acceptance and the willingness of the other party to engaged in mutual agreement to wait, to have a proper timing and proper mindset that is difficult to achieved. Not everyone is willing to cooperate and understand this level of thinking.
Ladies this is why the good looking players make you think they're waiting but actually are having sex with other women in the meantime. You are just in his " holding pattern" and awaiting your turn before being cycled through and then ghosted.
This is so clear and to the point! Many of us know this deep down but hide it because we think quick actions will lead to a goal (relationship) faster, only to end up facing our own created deception. Thank You for this Video!
Nice video but I feel sad listening to this because when I think back to my relationships years ago, I never had to have that deep of a conversation. Sex was organic and the person I cared for was someone that I could do it with without him disappearing on me. We both felt the same way and it just happened. Our connection deepened naturally. In today's world, I don't think that's possible anymore. You'll need to set boundaries and have discussions because sex feels like a commodity and I get the impression that most men don't feel anything from it and think that us women are playing with them for withholding it or if we give it, it implies we're too easy and therefore not of value. I enjoy sex and I enjoy the connection and depending on the man (if it's serious or not) it can mean something or nothing to me. However I choose not to have it because I don't date anymore. My standard is that I have to feel something for someone and I have to also mean something to them. And if I don't sense that, it's not happening. I just wish I could meet someone with the similar values but every guy I meet is not that. I have had the conversation and it's always "I don't want anything serious right now" or "I just want to have fun." It's a really tough world out there nowadays!!!
@@bolt9110 Yep. So many guys have been with women who weren't actually attracted to them and just used sex as a bargaining chip to extract resources (buy gifts, pay for dates, etc).
I listen and watch. I can see the mood changes, the instabilities, the tendency for instant gratification, the way they talk about their exes and their body count. I take into account the music they choose, who their friends and family are and if any addictions. That tells me more than enough about the man. Enough to know that I'm not worse or better than the other women he's been with. I can expect to be another body in his count. That's not what I'm really looking for so, nice meeting you! Wish you well. Better the next woman than me.
I needed to hear that this morning, Matthew. Thank you. I gave it up this weekend, and was feeling kinda crappy. Knew what I was doing, but still felt a bit used... I was trying o do the using. Crazy how I flipped after the deed. I knew I could count on you to set me straight. Back on my path to finding something real.
Thank you Matthew, Steve and entire crew for an amazing job throughout years supporting people, navigating and helping to get necessary information about relationships. Being a non-English speaker your scripts, how to respond, text or answer in a nerve wracking situations when brain goes into a frizzing mode, helps a lot. Especially topics like intimacy makes us swing in questions like pendulum. Greatly appreciate everything you’ve done and continue doing it!!!
We have been brainwashed NOT to express ourselves. In my youth, mothers wanted their daughters to be saintly and not even discuss sex with partners. If - horrors! - it happened, it was because men had a stronger sex-drive. We mustn't lead them on, I was told. That was being a tease. A girl who asked a guy to use a condom was clearly thinking about sex, and that was wrong. This was the era of free love, but for girls especially, wow did it come with a price-tag - physically, morally, spiritually.
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wow! the last part about how to handle rejection, your speech is so powerful! So empower! Really appreciate you made this video. That's exactly what I need to learn. Thank you so much Matthew!
6:36 my boyfriend had this conversation with me. Told me that he didn’t want me disappointed if it didn’t happen and he didn’t want me feeling hurt. Which honestly took pressure of me. We both wanted the relationship to progress naturally but since we’ve been friends for years, we didn’t want to rush and possibly ruin a friendship. He’s still my best friend but now I can call him my boyfriend too. Going on a year now. Glad we decided to wait.
Once again: thank you so very much Matthew! I only wish that someone like you would have been there for me 40 years ago and I hope it's not too late for me to take the knowledge and wisdom I've learned from you and to finally find real love. God bless you, Matthew! 🙏
Thank you for this Matthew! I don’t think I’ve ever heard it explained so well - I only wish guys would listen to this type of info as much as women do because they might become better individuals by doing it. It’s refreshing to hear from a man about this very sensitive topic so thank you for your thoughtful perspective.❤️
So touched by what you said. I didn’t expect to feel that way when I clicked on this video… Thank you so much for those beautiful and empowering words!
Rubbish as your empath rubbish , an empath lol . Empathy is the ability to put yourself in someone's shoes and see things from their perspective. It's not some special power !
Great video just what I needed today !! I had this conversation with someone I’ve been talking to etc fir the last 2 months he told me not to be so silly he wanted so much more than sex he wanted me in his future we spoke all day everyday but unfortunately after the deed he disappeared! I’m totally taken back as we had a long chat about it. But yes he only took my energy !! Honestly this has helped me so much I was at the point of what’s wrong with me ! Xx
😣 I'm sorry. There are a lot of manipulative people in this world. I would suggest getting to know someone over a much longer period of time so that you can observe their character (or lack thereof). You can see if they have integrity in other situations. Also, if they're only interested in sex, they're more likely to leave after six months or a year as opposed to two months.
Hi Matthew! Firstly, off the topic comment about how mesmerizing your eye color is in this video due to the green shirt you are wearing. Secondly, I completely agree and totally support the message you are getting across and it definitely makes sense to have the confidence and be able to make a conscious decision to talk about how you feel and what you expect before you have intimate experience with your partner. Bravo , well done! 👏
If he disappears after sex, really ask yourself if you actually enjoyed it too. Your happiness is the most important. Just because he “disappeared” doesn’t mean you are less valuable or unworthy of love. He did you a favor and now you don’t have to waste your time on this douchebag. Haha Women leave men after sex too. It’s okay.
Hey girls - some simple advise at the risk of sounding like your ma - don’t give your body to a man until he gives you his commitment in marriage. Cuts out soooo much heartache and the man who truely loves you will hang around and wait for you
Thank you! This message came when I needed to hear it, wish I heard it back in April, but messages, I supposed, come when it's meant to be received. I am proud of myself and I am grateful for the opportunity to learn more surrounding sex. Yes! I gave my energy, not my power. Respect for my future self moving forward! Yes!!! Matthew! Thank you!!!
Thank you for sharing. This has been a concern in my life. I needed to hear from a male perspective. You said it well. By the way, green is an amazing color on you. Your a beautiful person. Great job on your videos.
Sex is a topic that needs to be talked about more. It’s assumed we’ve been taught. Also it seems to be a crucial factor in determining commitment. It’s more difficult for women because we are usually not the aggressors and can feel pressured for intimacy when you’re just trying to talk.
Am I the only one who always had the fear that a man looses interest when I hook up too early with him? How can anybody assume that a man will respect you more afterwards. They think that you were „easy“, not everyone of course but a lot. That’s the reality
Bc guys typically just want to, as Chris Williamson has put it, “masturbate with your body.” You’re not a sentient being, you’re a tool for him to masturbate with. Do I mean all men are like this? No but sex can be just like that for them especially for the horn dogs out there! They’re not bad people, they’re just wired differently. That’s why statistically, gay men have more sex than lesbian or heterosexual couples.
@@16Meily ...listen...women can get sex easily. Men have to actually work for it, they have to wine and dine...be funny...have a good job...be tall etc etc. Sorry but men who get lots of sex are high value because they work for it, women just have to be...women.
@@christinevillanueva54 because most have to earn it unlike you, who just says "yes" and gets it. I call BS on "women mostly want connection" thing. I've been led on many times by women sometimes without getting sex, sometimes even after getting sex. It's just that we don't complain about it because we are grateful for getting any attention from women.
Thankyou Matthew as a woman that hasn't 'put out' in years, I'm very clear in communicating myself clearly. Lately I met a seperated guy I met before covid hilariously he thought I'd a boyfriend and we'd crosswires as I tried to make a friend of him in our group it backfired and post covid I felt he's probably divorced and early on in the date I realised he wasn't. It rained on the dates energy, I don't want to marry but I don't want to be with someone else's husband. I'm in my 40s I just said I'd a nice date and thanked him but that I'd a crush on a married guy and as a recovering catholic(joke..kinda lol) this just wasn't for me. We text back and forth couple times I was completely honest one morning at 5am I said I hope I haven't been unkind to you but I've never married and out of respect to another woman's marriage I don't want to get involved, crushes are hard at 5am but neither of us need this drama and said peace out. Three weeks on I still think about him but I'd rather a little sexual frustration than dealing with 'it's for the kids' who are in their 20s...same with the sex talk or condoms id be nervous but without it you look back and question everything and then question yourself too... Thks Matthew
Ask him to do things for you like planning dates and get him to invest. If he isn't genuine he won't waste his energy. Also don't let him rush you into things. Time reveals who is genuine and who isn't
@@Lydia-vv1kv that's half of the equation. Guys won't invest without an investment........a man would not want to run all around "doing things for you" without a physical investment. 2 to Tango and all of that.
@@willak79bud90 I'm talking about planning dates. If you can't do that then why should a girl sleep with you. Its the bare minimum. Our investment is looking good and showing up for the date lmao
I think the biggest mistake people make is ASSUMING that others feel/are going to feel the same way that they do in relation to intimacy. And if they are worried they will lose the person if they don’t have sex with them quickly, then they need to understand they don’t have that person to begin with. If they did there wouldn’t be this anxiety and sense of urgency.
People all have different levels in their own sexuality, so this is very true! At this point in my life I don’t even kiss just anyone. It takes an intellectual [mind] connection before I consider any sort of progression. This is a great vid to at least have conversations OPEN. Communication is hot, on both ends, if views are mutual and honest. Ty for bringing up this conversation! We should all be able to have these talks & be comfortable with.
what really frustrates me is that it seems like this vulnerability always has to come from my side, I wish that at least sometimes I could be on the other end, however small the topic of conversation is
Girls it doesn’t matter… all my boyfriends I’ve slept with the first night. I understand it’s more a hormone issue & men get less attached biologically speaking. However, all is not lost just because u slept with him
Lol men don't get "less attached". You date out of your league. Men rarely have an opportunity to date out of their without investing a lot of money and time. Of course, the party that dates out of their league is more likely to get attached. If I had model throwing themselves at me, I'm sure I will also start catching feelings for them.
@@youtubesucks2755 that says a lot about your superficial values. One size doesn’t fit all. I definitely don’t settle either so the men I go for are high value.
@@Lovereems Keep being delusional but it is what it is. Truth is often bitter. All of you women keep saying shit like "high value" but keep it very vague. Define what "high value" means to you. It's not the behavior that you consider "high value", it's some superficial shit. Plus you women don't have a monopoly on being "high value" yourself. Most of you are low value yourself but judge men for the same shit.
This popped up at the very top. Just what I was subconsciously wondering after sleeping with a guy I really really like just last night, on our 4th date.
@@jasminefrierson5901 Omg it's amazing! We are now dating 1 year and 9 months in. He's the man of my dreams and has been consistent with who he says/shows he is from day one. Hes committed, honest, loyal, kind, romantic, considerate, funny, smart, and such a great communicator. This is the most healthy and beautiful relationship I've ever had. Thanks for asking!
Love this video! Sex is very meaningful for me and I have never had a one-night-stand but I feel like A LOT of guys think the 1. date should include sex or sometimes even BEFORE the date like wtf??
Really needed to hear this now as ended a dalliance with someone red flags all over. Fortunately we did not have sex I understand myself more if we had it would have meant more to me than him and I would have become needy and upset as I feel he would have ghosted me. Counting my blessings as he is out of my life by my good hand
Of the three women I've been with, the first two took me to bed on first IRL meeting. I was starting to think this was normal until I met a classy lady. We got intimate on I think 7th date, definitely well worth waiting for.
I came to this video by chance, as a guy who was rejected for years without getting a chance by girls it feels good to see women are having troubles with the guys they find attractive, it feels good that you also struggle. but keep in mind that most of you are only dating a small amount of guys and all of those have too many girls interested in themy most of us get rejected or ignored most of the time, take care with who you rate and I hope you find some who really loves you. I gave up years ago it is not worth it but think about all the guys you are rejecting maybe one of those it's worth it
@@lad7534 I´m sorry to hear your struggle Luis. I haven´t dated anyone for 2 years because I think it´s too time consuming and they always end up hurting me so I´m waiting until I have the energy to start dating again. Sending u good thoughts
