Secrets To Draw A Man Closer--John Gray 

👑 Queen 👑

Yes because men seem to only care minimally about women anyway and relationships. They say the do but when your in one a relationship they care most about what interest them. A lot of women stop caring about themselves then become unhappy because they aren’t getting what they need from him.

Beautifully said you intervene literally of me texted my ex a narcissist. To say hello but God said no ma,xme. And it was after ur comment ty beautiful ....

@@TheMallyjoe and I'm 53 so your opinion weighed in tonight woot

You speak truth. Except for one thing. You said "you'll meet the right man, if you want one." That doesn't always happen. Sometimes a woman never meets the right man. That woman has to accept that and be secure on her own. Building estrogen doesn't attract men. Although that helps.

Lol

😂😂😂

I completely agree ..why try to keep a man sounds like we are caging an animal a hamster 😂😂....why shud the lady make such effort to keep a leash on the dog ..love shud be all encompassing mutually

Yes throw the whole thing away lock stock barrel...why does estrogen have to treat testosterone with kids gloves??? I mean why

Precisely! 👌🏽✌🏽 My man is a dime a billion (as am I) but he wasn’t THIS hard to get/keep. If he chooses one day to leave (which I highly doubt he ever will), he’s free to be; love liberates, not binds. Nonetheless, I love John Grey. I grew up with neglectful, abusive and absent parents. He taught me to love my man and understand the BASICS of his masculinity, like, his needs of physical, mental, emotional and platonic needs. Not saying men are basic, I’m no feminist. They just see/think visual but still want to be loved.

You're right Rachelle! Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

One where people call in

@@mindtheprivacy M

He deserves it!!!

@@hawaiigirl8089 😂😂😂

Yep

I think drawing him is amount the things that we can do, but keeping him is more like his choices of staying.. Coz girls can do all they can still if the guy is immature then they won't stay... Or if the guy wants something else that the girl can't offer yet then he won't stay either... So in 1st case it's hopeless coz we can't change anyone and waiting for them to grow up is not an op... In the 2nd case.. the women have to change herself to give what he wants, even so he might still be leaving.. At end of day ppl chose what suits them the most, so unless u can hit that cord right they probably won't stay.. The question is how well u can hit it right and can u sustain hitting it right most of the time to give the impression that both of you are compatible....

@@osirusj275 You're point is appreciated. Thank you.

@@vernaharris4700 welcome

you are right Barbara. sorry about your late spouses, you sound like one who knows how to hold down her end. Im Jeffery

Thank you

I don’t think you really understand what he is saying. Or you wouldn’t have said that.

Amen

Believe me, I agree but I think he's just trying to stick to the topic, I'm going to look for one on how my man can draw me closer lol.

indeed it is

its what SheraSeven has been saying for the past decade too. Check her youtube channel.

Some relationship coaches on RU-vid have great advice! Don't knock them.

Exactly, you waited for him to reveal his knowledge with no need to challenge. Was that being in your feminine? I’m here because of the earlier interview with Dr Gray 3 years ago. Thank you for providing the forum

You know that All of John's videos are Timeless treasures just as All video's are , Can always go back search them out !! What's good Young people be able find all knowledge they'll need help them if theirs No One person for any of them to confide in ask questions. Just internet search that's one thing they'll know how Do ...

Thank your for sharing Elizabeth! You are fortunate to have a wonderful husband that you love very much! Thanks for watching and for your comment too!

Go with you heart, resilience, all your instincts.... doesn't have to be so analytical..... Love grows if it is love between two. Just be yourself,whoever you are....

Q

Thank you

Sounds like a full-time job without pay! If a guy isn't aware of his own worth and needs your constant manipulation to feel good, you'd be better of taking care of yourself 😊

@@curiouskitten It's not a job, it's a way of communicating so you can be heard. I don't think you got the message that men and women think differently, if you're not willing to learn how to communicate effectively, you might as well just hang out with your girlfriends.

Untill you love yourself first and put yourself above him, he will keep doing that. I'm getting to the conclusion that "bitches" are luckier with men. When we overgive to a man he just doesn't respect us.

Yrs, that is true!

Yes. Narcissists are a different animal and their treatment of their partner has nothing at all to do with what their partners do or don't do.

Do you mean someone with diagnosed Narcissistic Personality Disorder, a VERY serious and rare mental illness, or just someone who doesn't do what you want? I am so tired of people throwing this term around to label anyone they disagree with. We all have narcissistic traits. We all have "egos." If someone doesn't want to discuss something that isn't important to you, walk away. Your allowing yourself to be used, doesn't automatically create an NOPD diagnosis.

Thanks for watching Merrie and for your kind comments too!

Yes I love this. Wish I would have known this before

I can’t believe how complicated men and women are chemically!

He said years ago that his wife helped him understand women.

That's right Mirella! Thanks for watching and for leaving a comment too!

You have to put your oxygen mask on first, before you can help or take care of anyone else.

Fill to overflow and give from the overflow ✨✨✨💖💖💖

this is a not proved common prejudice..life is not that hard--you can learn this "with your partner" while you be with him, in a marriage as well! this is not neccessary , to be a perfect person before! no one is.. start from the point you are,.sometimes you need more than one man, marriage to learn who and when it is the right one or time!we learn through each other, not only after each other😉

Wisdom.😊🙌❤

Agree, but he's saying that's the way the guys testosterone works. Don't like either but that's how it goes. We'd get more love & attention from our dogs than men can give us.. Trade him in for a dog & stay celebate. 😅

Oddly enough, he's saying he'll bounce back, if a woman does that. Maybe that's true, if the man loves her and just wants some space for a while. I don't think "being successful" builds testosterone. I don't know of any science that says that. Gray doesn't cite any evidence of that. If that were true, when men's testosterone levels drop, doctors would prescribe "make more money" or "work harder so you're more successful" or "do manly things." But what a dr does is prescribe the blue pill or testosterone. Same thing w/estrogen. Going thru menopause, doctors don't say "spend more time being emotional and being around men" to raise your estrogen level. They prescribe hormones.

@@nyxnightlinger7719 Well, women can be that way sometimes, too. I have been, on occasion. It has nothing to do with not caring for the man. Sex drive is sex drive, and love is love. They are sometimes sharing of the same thing, but sometimes are different. Men often fall asleep afterwards, I've found. That's fine. I do, too. As long as he lets me lay on chest or cuddle a while afterwards, I'm good.

@@nyxnightlinger7719 Me, too. Of course, there are times when you're both going to sleep at night, or maybe in the morning. I have no problem with him kissing me, then hopping up & getting dressed & starting his day. I do that, too. Of course, if he acts like he doesn't know your name, that's a different thing entirely & doesn't have to do with him going to work afterwards. That will reveal itself in so many ways, if a woman is looking for it (I repeatedly fail to recognize this, though. I have a blind spot about giving him the benefit of the doubt, when I shouldn't do that.)

I agree. I think north american popular culture which is run by a media monopoloy is programming us to be stupid to be honest and at war with eachother because it weakens the family, communities and relationships... a weak population can easily be attacked and controlled.

We had to.

my husband passed away 2020 and this really helps me reflect on our rel and bring so much understanding :)

@@emmieherbert6283 Hi Emiri,I’m so sorry for you lost,I know how it feels to lost a loved one.....I’m Edward, it would be nice getting to know you,if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😊.

I think many of us wish we had know this earlier in our lives Arvis! Thanks for watching and for your comments too!

Agree, this blew my mind

hey Bev, how are you doing today, Im Jeffery

Agreed!!

Pulling away might be a sign that a guy needs to pump himself up. Atleast when I did this. I felt drained. Good communication is the key. Tools that I posses now could´ve saved the relationship ( I had almost 2 yrs relationship)

@@dukmccuck7390 If the person is not your best friend and you can't communicate then lust will not carry a relationship. When a guy rejects a person to me there was never a real relationship to begin with. Real love lasts.

Congratulations on being alone the rest of your life, lol. People need space sometimes. Especially men so they can recharge testosterone.

@@iamyoutoo1 Better alone without a guy than alone with a guy. People have pets/family/friends. The whole world is our family.

@@iamyoutoo1 there it is.You will be alone for life.Or in reality you will find a person who appreciates you and yall communicate and work well together.Don't listen to the people who say you will be alone forever.That's them wanting to force their views on you.There is the right person for everyone.

This can be true on some cases Robyn, but most of my clients are 40's, 50's and 60's. Yes, these mature men do need to know a woman likes them and that they have a shared interest, but most of the men they meet do pursue them if the woman doesn't step into the more masculine role. So many mature women have a tendency to step into the masculine role which can make men more passive and lazy when it comes to dating. In fact, many mature men are very clear about what kind of woman they would like to be with and show up like they mean it when a woman doesn't step in and start doing the heavy lifting. I think it's a balance and think that John's main point in this video is that many people (men and women) get out of balance hormonally and otherwise. Thanks for watching!

My guy felt bad and rejected when I pulled away felt like he wasn’t doing something right

As a 38 year old guy I totally agree with what you said Robyn. I can only speak for myself but I feel as though playing hard to get isn't necessary with most men. We are more simple and not turned off by a woman showing affection because we don't view someone showing attraction as being needy or lower status. We think when a woman likes us and shows it, "She likes me, great!" And I don't mean financially, I mean we need to know that you like us and that you need an emotional connection. Of course I don't mean needy to the extent of being a mess, but just that you need someone in your life and we can fill that for you. That is a real turn on and makes us feel masculine and important.

Unfortunately, most of the men I know and are in their 40ies are not like this and move to 20year old girls.

@@micheledoddkelton6598 pc pc cg cg

You're welcome Sarah! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching and for leaving a comment too!

Ditto! Love this. I could listen to John Gray for hours. He is so knowledgeable and excellent explaining everything. Such an enjoyable pleasure watching and listening. Thank you! ;

please explain the “awkward silence” skill???

Thanks for watching and for your comments too Ailene!

You have an amazing face greetings from Egypt

Attractive face

He's not explaining why men & women act a certain way. He's telling women to behave a certain way in order to attract & keep men. Sort of a grooming school for girls...how to be a proper gf and wife. Like those finishing schools for "young ladies," so they learn social skills to attract the right kind of boys, in view to become their wives. The reality is that if women are going to earn a good living, excel at their careers, get along in the world dealing with buying cars & houses & dealing with house repairs and yard work, she's better off sticking with the traits necessary to do those things. Those traits, according to John Gray, are masculine. If I were to act the way he suggests, I wouldn't be able to care for or provide for myself properly. I don't think men want helpless women, any more. They want partners to walk through life with them and help with the burdens, and men are willing to help with the cooking & such. They are still feminine and masculine, when it counts. But let's face it, when a sink needs unclogging, a woman is gonna have to use her masculine skills to attack that drain with a snake.

I’ll never understand why navigating relationships is not taught in schools. Relationships are the foundation of everything.

@@BlackNella Maybe because schools are more concerned with getting you educated enough to enter the workforce and or graduating droves of children that aren't as ready (slipping through the cracks come to mind). It's the way of K-12 in the West (in the U.S.). Maybe they also think that relationships are "too personal" to be taught. I think it also depended on the age of the students. I mean, you don't expect to teach these things, relational skills in romantic/domestic relationships to a four year old would you??! I think those are the reasons why. Maybe teenagers and young adults could benefit, maybe that is what you mean, but yeah, most academic environments care more about STEM education and traditional subjects like History, Poly Sci, etc. than personal relationships of people! I think they teach kindergarteners to share their toys and to be nice to others. I've also seen junior high school students get taught this, but it's been decades obviously since I was in elementary and junior high school. I just saw a huge poster years ago at my old junior high stating "Be nice to people" so they ARE being taught, just not maybe relationship/romance stuff. Maybe they thought it was supposed to be automatic? Anyway..

You're right Marilyn! Thanks for watching and for leaving a comment too!

@@donnab8345 I agree with you in many ways. I think younger men these days have more feminine aspects then men had in `older days`and today women is more self driven ☺️

True x

I believe that the only truth is to be honest and always sincere, not game our " different methods " bond the soul of him and be happy with what it brings to both of you! ❤

But Dr. John always says men & women need one another but what about gay lovers.? Does he mean that for them as well? I wonder. He'd prolly say one is usually more masculine & feminine than the other. 😅 in the same difference? A topic to be discussed..

I’m just having to face the reality of being single. Divorce will happen between us.

Bravo so true

Facts

Ive been there for seven years after bfeaking uo with my ex who we li ed together for 4 years. And it just gets lonely even if you find yourself and love yourself. Of course you have to do all this and accept yourself to be ready for a next relationship. So it can be better than the past. But im telling you 7 years of self healling and self love. Ive got to the point that i just need a male companion.

@@colainebradly786 Jeffrey you want to know everyone more. It’s not special when your attention is offered so indiscriminately.

You are right reem

It’s definitely not!!

74? Wow! Good for him and you! 😊

Hahahaha

😂🤣🤣

Thanks for your comments and for watching too Roxie!

@West pac Ahhh interesting. What is his motivation? Do older men just not need closeness?

@West pac Thanks - I appreciate the careful effort that you put in to explaining the fabric of a man. It is helpful and if women understood this better it would result in less chaotic relationships likely. Now, question for you - do you think there are things for men to learn about women that would also diffuse the age old battle of the sexes?

@West pac Thank you - indeed I found much value in what you wrote - there is a lot that rings true. Thank you for taking the time. Also, I hope I did not communicate any feminist leanings in my comments - I abhor what modern feminism had done. Interesting analogy with lock and key. Though it strikes women as... hmmm the key does not place the same constraints upon itself as it requires of the lock. Surely the lock has equal longings for an exclusive, loyal adoring key, so to speak 🤔😂 And since you have been so generous in your response, I have another question. You have explained what men want - many of us women (those of us who try to understand men as they are and not as we wish them to be) are designed to learn these things and do our best to supply that want. Example, in my own marriage, I have put a high wall around myself and do not get within 10 feet of any kind of friendship with any man not my husband. My vows are made of concrete, and I fulfil my need for intimate friendship with other women. But - am I to relegate my relationship with my husband to that comparable to a dog/master? What advice for one who longs for a connection (conversation) and meaningful talk with the one closest to me? I love learning about life, philosophy etc and I want a lifelong companion in this. Is this too much, too much. I do see that philosophy has been the traditional domain of men, so I think it is a reasonable hope. And so, as you have shared your insights on what drives men, I will share mine on women. We are made to be more than servants to a mans appetites. As faithful locks, we feel crushed and deflated if we serve no greater purpose than supplying a mans basic needs. And, if we are not given some signs of being prized by our man for our inner person, our thoughts, opinions, goals, there is a part of us that sinks down and dies - a part that cannot be fed by other sources such as women friends or family or children. And when we die inside, the joyful service we long to provide becomes sterile and painful even. Does this make sense? There has to be an acknowledgment of how men function. I think your previous message did a fantastic job of this. At what point do we require men to see the woman for her design and realize that in the family, in the home, she longs to respect, admire and nestle under the protective wing of her man, knowing her value as an individual. Far too often, women feel they could be swapped out no problem, for any female willing to supply the needs...

@West pac ok west pac - I listened to the podcast, and I’m 1/4 way through that fascinating woman book. 🤓 I’m not a knee jerk reaction type so I am willing to look at these things. And I find this information interesting - due to my own beliefs and what I’ve learned, these ideas are not super shocking to me. You have presented your perspective pretty clearly and I have invested the time to review. I’ll continue reading the fascinating woman book - it’s written in a painfully clunky style, but I’ll read for content. These are ideas worthy of discussion. Are you willing to review content that (I believe) fills out this discussion? You can watch this guy on 1.75 speed, he’s a slow talker. But I’d be quite interested to hear your impression of this video. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-VbqyINpofP4.html 😀 If you are willing to invest the time as I have, I think we can have a good discussion

Thank you to Michelle too, you have a lovely and sensible touch.

hello Wendy, how are you doing today, Im Jeffery

Glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for watching Julia! :-)

I read every word you wrote, you sound like an Angel trapped in a human body.. it will be an honor to know you more. Im Jeffery

Wow ❤️Good luck to both of you here. I wish you both a great friendship.

Yes Erin! John has a very interesting history! Thanks for watching and for your kind comments as always! You are wonderful! :-)

You spoke my entire life in simple powerful words

Hi Janet, it’s nice meeting you here.. I’m Edward, it would be nice getting to know you,if that’s ok with you? My mom once said good friends are never too much to have. if you don’t mind, can we be friends?? Lovely smile you got there on your profile picture, it can brighten up the most darkest atmosphere of any man’s world😊.

I have read all of his books too!

Nizza Ybarra: That's true. Consistency is everything

You're so idealistic

What if he's effeminate & the shy type,? Lol

Another comment judges without understanding the video🙄no wonder men pull away. No man or woman is perfect

@@danam358 GET A STRONG MAN THAT CAN HANDLE EVERY SITUATION WITH LOVE & UNDERSTANDING. NOT A MAN THAT PULLS AWAY WITH EVERY LITTLE PROBLEM.😉

I was attracted to the phone of you have an amazing smile,attractive woman Iam Ibrahim from Egypt 🇪🇬 and I would love to comencate with you if don’t mind that

I'm so glad you enjoyed it Mona! Thanks for watching!

Thanks for watching and for your kind comment too!